


The Initiation

by Lulu3



Category: Divergent (Movies), Divergent - All Media Types, Divergent Series - Veronica Roth
Genre: Amity Faction, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Dauntless Faction, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Romance, Sarcasm, Smut, leader and initiate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2019-05-10 09:07:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 48
Words: 586,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14734085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lulu3/pseuds/Lulu3
Summary: Eric is tasked with training the lone, female initiate from Amity. Will she survive his brutal regiment? Or will she wind up factionless? This is  retelling of The Training from Eric's POV.





	1. Brave

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> Just a quick note before we get started:
> 
> If you have read The Training, some of this material will feel very familiar to you. But just know this is Eric's version of the story, and his side of the events that happened are a little bit different than Everly's.
> 
> If you've never read The Training, please note that it's not necessary, unless you want to be spoiled for every single cliffhanger that happens. And for those who are thinking, haha-I already know them all, well- I made up some new ones.
> 
> In this story there are a few changes to the Divergent Books.
> 
> -Eric and Four are both 24.
> 
> -Tris and Christina are both 20.
> 
> -Initiates choose at the age of 18.
> 
> My goal is to update this fairly routinely! Any outtakes for this story will be updated under the same separate Outtakes Story as The Training as they will fit in with either version.
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who read The Training, who reread it time and time again, and who wanted to see Eric's thoughts. If you liked Everly's version, I think you'll enjoy this one ;)
> 
> Thank you so much to bamberlee for editing this for me!
> 
> Disclaimer:
> 
> All rights to characters and places in the Divergent series belong to Veronica Roth. All original characters and the plot of the story that does not directly mirror events in the Divergent series belong to me. All associated rights reserved, no translations into other languages or re-posting on other websites is permitted without my express written consent.

She is the only girl initiate.

In theory, she shouldn't be. A month ago, I'd gotten a list from Jason, a sloppily handwritten version, one that would read better if it were in alphabetical order- or any order really- and I'd read it thoroughly. It was everyone who'd received Dauntless on their aptitude test, with a mark next to the names he thought were funny. There were plenty of names listed, and this meant plenty of them should have been stumbling down from the net and into our compound. Normally, I'd have tossed this list into the trash can. New initiates weren't something I had an active interest in, but now I had a few reasons to keep a close eye on them.

There was pressure on me, this never ending, always looming pressure to find the ones who were hiding something. It wouldn't take long for me to see who had chosen Dauntless for the wrong reasons, and I took great joy in watching them crack.

But this year, I was over it.

I was supposed to be hunting down the ones who didn't fit into our system, personally handing them over to Jeanine. I had already scanned the list, entertained by the ones from different, weaker factions who thought they'd make it here, and I'd already crossed out a few names.

Usually, I watched them jump with Rylan from the comfort of the control room, having grown bored with greeting them on the roof. The past few years had produced a particularly unimpressive group, and I'd refused to waste any more of my time with them. They'd learn who I was in other ways, and nothing pleased me more than when they panicked at the mere sight of me as they crossed my path.

They could tell immediately I thought little of all of them.

Each year they looked weaker and weaker, just another group ready to bend under the pressure of the training. Even that was laughable. Lauren wasn't anything to be afraid of, and Four was even worse. After a few years of trying hard to steer the training toward tougher initiation so we'd have only the best survive, I'd triumphantly stepped away when it was finally approved by Max. Four had been pissed off, not at all happy with the new rules, and even less happy when I stuck around to make sure he enforced them.

This year, I'd skipped almost all of it. I had already told Max I had zero interest in helping with the training, mostly because Jeanine had been riding my ass to produce her test subjects from all the factions, not just Dauntless. I'd been sent report after report about these Divergent who she believed were still slipping through our fingers, and the irritation wore me down with each passing day. I'd long promised I'd help find them, for I understood her reasoning, but her criteria of just what exactly Divergent meant had started to sway wildly depending on the week. Unfortunately for me, more than half the names that fell under her newest criteria were on the transfer list to my own faction.

So, this new initiation felt even more annoying, because I would now be forced to monitor Four and Lauren's class, as well as all the others. I had already looked through the list to see if there was anything I should focus on and then I'd filed the report away. The names weren't anything remarkable, and as always, we'd probably only get about half of who had gotten our faction as a result.

Which is even more grating.

It makes me grit my teeth, as I head toward the control room, ready to once again find out who'd been brave enough to try and come here, not at all aware of what awaited me.

 

 

Rylan cocks his head to the side, his lips turning at the sight of me before him.

"Fuck, dude. For once, you're late."

I ignore him.

I'm not late, nor am I even supposed to be here. As always, the room is quiet, despite the excitement in the air. The control room isn't my favorite place to visit, nor are the people who work in it. The head supervisor, a blonde-haired woman named Kacie, is infuriatingly gossipy, and I'd always wondered who made the brilliant decision to leave her in charge. It was a position of small authority, but enough for her giant head. She oversaw a rotating staff, made sure our security cameras were always up and running, and was well versed in how the patrol squads worked. She wasn't entirely stupid, and some days, she actually came in handy.

She was also a raging bitch who seemed to take great delight in interjecting herself into other people's business.

Today, she watches me stalk past her, having swiped my card without saying a word of greeting and heading straight to the two people who also don't want to talk to her. I had found Rylan and Jason glued to a monitor, their eyes both on the person jumping.

"Well?"

I snap the words at them, bored with this entire day already. I have a fuck ton of work waiting for me, and Jeanine will want to know my immediate thoughts on the new group- despite them not actually having finished arriving. She was always interested in how they could serve her, and they would, even if they didn't know it. One way or another, they'd help her carry out her plans, all while none the wiser.

"Last one went about twenty minutes ago. Seems like a good group. Definitely a strong-"

Rylan's interrupted by Kacie, waving a paper in our face and clearing her throat. She's a moron for butting in, but subtlety isn't her strong suit.

"Now that you're here," she throws me a fake yet condescending smile, "can you sign off on these changes? I'm adding six more people to monitor the night shift and I need your signature."

"Why?" I bark at her, not giving a single fuck what she did. "Why would you need my approval on this?"

"Because," she answers slowly, staring at me with her dull eyes, "Max thinks it's unnecessary. But the increased factionless activity tells me otherwise. And you're the only one who's got enough brains to see that. So, I need your signature to override Max's dismissal."

"Uh, I also said I'd sign off on it and you ignored me." Jason points out, whirling around in the chair until it goes completely around in a circle. "In fact, you said, 'fuck off I need Eric'. Or was it, 'I want Eric?' Oh, maybe it was that last one."

He snickers at his own little jab, daring to suggest Kacie be dumb enough to decide I gave a shit about her affection.

But Kacie doesn't bother acknowledging him. She rolls her eyes and ignores him once more, shoving the paper closer to me. "Just sign this so you and your crew can be on your way."

I stare her down, wondering why she'd ever think she could talk to me like that, and I'm pleased when her ballsiness withers under my stare.

"I mean, feel free to finish watching the cameras but I'll need that monitor for the next shift. The one Jason has been on for the last hour."

"Fuck off, and I'll sign your papers if I feel like it." I hiss, pleased when she finally slinks away, back to oversee the others clicking away at the screens. I turn back to Jason, noticing Rylan standing there with a funny look on his face.

"We were waiting for you to get here. I gotta show you this." He tells me, nudging my arm and pointing to the blank screen. "Jason, rewind that one back to about forty minutes ago."

"Aye aye, cap'n." Jason salutes him, slowly typing in a code to change the camera, then slides the footage backwards. He clicks pause, then waits for me to look.

I'm rewarded with the sight of the back of Four as he helps someone off the net. It's nothing mind-blowing. I'd prefer to let them climb out or fall off the damn thing, but for some reason, he's always given them a hand. It's routine for him; he helps them down, asks their name, and then sends them off to wait for him to give an introductory speech. I grow bored as we watch him wait for the next one, and the most exciting part is when he looks down at his watch.

"Riveting." I dryly tell Jason, and he stands up.

"No, keep watching. I have to show you something else." Rylan protests, but Jason motions for me to follow him.

"Wait, hey! That's not what I wanted you to see!"

I don't wait. The longer I'm here, the less time I have to do my actual work. I sigh heavily as I stand with Jason while he fumbles with his phone, pulling up a message from the green haired moron he's been seeing off and on. He shows me the screen, littered with green hearts and a bunch of lipstick print pictures. I, too, had received this new update that allowed you to send cutesy images with your text and I'd nearly shot the person in Erudite who'd spent their time developing such a pointless feature.

"She wants me. It's pretty obvious now. I was thinking I'd bring her out with us next time we all go…" Jason stops, and his whole face lights up. "Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in. Or really, who the cat dragged in."

I glance over just in time to see Max making his way through the control room. He's trailed by someone, but I can't really make them out, not through the crowd of members milling about, trying to clock out. But I do notice that Max looks unusually smug, especially when he comes to a halt a few feet away from us.

"Max! Good to see you here. Any news today?" Jason cheerfully greets him, always pleased that Max has never noticed the lack of work he actually does. But today, Max isn't focused on that. He looks elated, like he's got something delightful planned that I'm going to hate. He grins widely at the both of us, and I smirk when I finally see what he's brought along with him.

Fucking Amity.

The person trailing behind him is a girl who looks so out of place I can't help but feel gleeful at her misfortune of ending up here. She must be lost, probably having gotten mixed up in the crowd after the ceremony let out and ended up here. I give her credit for finding her way inside, but that's it. The dumbass clearly couldn't find her way to her own farm and I wonder how long it took her to realize this wasn't Amity.

"Not today." Max answers, taking a quick glimpse of the monitors behind him. The monitors are currently on a live feed of the compound, displaying tiny, dark clad members making their way down corridors and through walkways. One of the screens changes to the outside of a train tunnel, and Jason bursts out laughing when it shows a dismayed initiate standing there, not having the guts to go through with the initiation and unsure of what to do now.

"What are you doing here?" Jason asks him, his snort dying down and the girl takes an irritating step closer to Max, as though she's listening.

I stare her down.

She looks like everyone else from Amity that I've ever seen, but also not.

She's smaller than the ones who typically work the fields, and far prettier than the ones I've seen at the marketplace. Her long dark hair is a mess, the waves all over the place as though she's run a marathon, and every so often, she pushes her hair out of her eyes and I can tell she's trying not to fidget. But she's not hideous, in fact, far from it. Big green eyes dare to find mine, framed by long lashes, and she has a pretty smile. My eyes narrow in disgust at her dress, this flimsy pink thing that hits her knees, impractical for anything except lazing in the sun for hours on end. My inspection ends at her feet, the strange, flat shoes all the Amity girls wear despite living in the dirtiest faction of all.

She's nothing impressive.

"Just who I was looking for." Max smiles at Jason and I, and the girl peers up at us curiously, still standing close to him like he's saved her life. "Eric, I've got a new task for you."

Fuck.

I can tell right then and there he's going make me drive this one back to the farm. I want to remind him he's hardly this chivalrous, and we aren't required to escort her anywhere. Really, all we owe her is to walk her outside, point her in the right direction and send her on her way.

"Does it involve this one here?" Jason butts in, now looking as equally delighted as Max. I turn to stare at him, overcome with the sudden urge to hit him right in his very punchable face.

Max nods. "She's the only female initiate in this year's class. For her own safety, she's to be trained separately. Four is worried that she won't have a fair shot at staying alive with her class."

He then clears his throat and raises both of his eyebrows. At me.

I feel my entire body tense up.

Fuck.

He can't be serious.

There is no way she picked Dauntless, not in a million years. I look her up and down quickly, her posture telling me I'm not who she was expecting to be brought to. She realizes I'm sneering at her, and I can see her cheeks flush from embarrassment when I catch her staring.

I wait for Max to get to his point, but he simply stares at me expectantly until I read his stupid mind.

"And you want me to train her?" My words come out just as disgusted as I feel, the idea so ridiculous that I wonder if he's joking. He can't really expect me to train her. Not now. This girl is all of five feet tall, wearing a dress with straps that tie into fucking bows over her skinny shoulders, and she can't possibly have chosen to come here on her own. But the look on Max's face tells me he is serious, and he's thrilled about it. I silently throw a thousand fucks at Four in my mind.

I take a step closer to her, closing the distance between us. I stare her down, keeping my spine straight and waiting for her to back away. She's honestly nothing. She barely comes up to my chest, and she's pathetically weak compared to the men who'd jumped with her.

But she's doesn't back down. She stares up at me, and in a moment of truth, she sort of smiles. It's pretty and sweet and disgustingly hopeful.

I smirk at her in return.

She won't last. Not a chance. I look over at Max, shaking my head slightly.

"You have some free time. Thought you might be interested," Max offers up, and his tone tells me this is not something he's willing to negotiate.

My eyes flash to the girl again, and this time, I feel a rush of dark anger at what's going on. He knows better than to assign me to this girl, and it's a blatant insult to even think I'd want to. I want to bark at him to send her back to Four, but I keep my composure.

"I'm not," I answer, my tone bored. "Besides, she wouldn't last in any training class, let alone mine." I feel myself sneering at her now, the thought of her attempting to punch and fight her way alongside me, popping into my head. I have an image of her running after me and trying to keep up, then sobbing hysterically once she gets her ass beat by the other initiates.

But little Amity, who's future hangs in my hands, is no longer smiling. In fact, she's realized I want nothing to do with her and her expression has darkened. She has the audacity to be scowling at me for not throwing myself at the winning opportunity to train her, and she stares at me as though she has the right to be annoyed.

I stare back, and I can feel my lip curling up in disgust.

Max can tell I'm close to losing it, so he interjects, showboating his authority over me to my utter annoyance. "This really isn't a request, Eric. Think of it this way, you get the chance to show Four who's the better trainer. You take this one here and make her Dauntless, well, then, there's really nothing you can't do."

I swallow, staring at him out of the corner of my eye.

I have to give him credit, for he's not as stupid as I usually think he is. I should have seen this coming, this particular tactic. Of course, he'd throw my dislike of Four in my face. I can't even begin to untangle how this will work out, or how she'll rank amongst Four's class, but she will. Max is now challenging me to train a single initiate instead of an entire class, but there's far more on the line than just that.

If I take her on, and she thrives, surviving and making it through initiation, then I would have that over Four. So long as she scored better than his class, she'd be golden. Further proof of my superiority over him. But if she fails, her tiny little frame and scrawny arms screaming that she doesn't stand a chance of making it here, then I'm allowing the entire fucking faction to know Four is a better trainer than I am. That the methods I demanded be implemented are useless.

Jason is staring at me, and I can hear him hyperventilating, fucking dying to know how this will play out.

I stare at her once more, trying to picture her fighting alongside me and doing well, and I make the snap decision to accept. I can train her, but it won't be easy. I'll make her bleed for her spot here, and if she really wants to stay, she'll have to earn it.

"Fine. But I train her my way. No questions asked." I coldly take one last hard look at her before taking a step back toward Jason and mentally calculating the schedule. I don't have a ton of time, in fact- I'm at a major disadvantage for more than a few reasons. But it's not impossible. It simply means we'll be working overtime, waking her up to start early and keeping her training late.

Jason is thrilled.

"Yessss," he hisses, the thrill of this gamble too good to be true. "Oh fuck, this will be great. We have to get a bet going. I wonder how long she'll last."

Max must hear him.

"You keep her alive, Eric. Understood?" Max announces, and he turns back to look at Amity. "I think she'll do just fine."

She nods at him, stupidly desperate for his approval as she's clearly more determined than ever. "Thank you."

"Fuck, I get to make the first bet, not Rylan!" Jason half whispers, and I ignore him. I stare at her again, trying to make a definite decision for where I'll even start, and I turn around and stalk back to the computers after realizing it won't matter. I'll have to start at the beginning, the very beginning. I swear quietly when I realize I've left my phone on the chair and to my disgust, there are already six messages from Jeanine.

Fantastic.

I reply to the first one, typing that I'll get back to her, and I realize I'll have to tell my initiate where to meet me. When I spin around, Max is touching her shoulder, saying goodbye as though he's personally invested in her survival. He leaves after throwing me one very pointed look, and I resist the urge to flip him off.

"Did Four show you where you're staying?" I ask her, and I hold her stare to make sure she knows who's in charge here. She may have Max wrapped around her finger, but that won't fly with me. I wait for her to flinch, but she doesn't. She doesn't look away immediately, and I supposed I should be impressed she's still standing there.

"He said I couldn't stay with them. That it wasn't safe. But Max gave me a key to an apartment near yours." She holds up a key at me, and I have to refrain from stabbing someone.

Of course, she's been given a key. For some reason, Max is enamored with this girl, and he's bestowed upon her an entire apartment to herself. Lovely. It'll make it all the worse when she realizes I won't be throwing the same luxuries at her.

"Great," I sneer. "Let's go. We start training at five am."

The surprise is clear on her face. She must have spent longer than I thought with Four, because she's quick to point out the other training is on a different schedule. "I thought training started at eight?"

I narrow my eyes. This girl is pretty, but not very bright. Her voice is sweet and kind, and she seems grateful that I've agreed to train her.

I could care less.

"You aren't training with them. You're training with me." I say the words very slowly, not sure she's figured out what's going on. Then it dawns on me, a flash of a thought through my mind, that this could be entertaining. She'll be at my mercy for the next few weeks, and she has no clue what she's in for.

I smile, widely.

"Don't worry." I tell her, and I can tell she's not so sure of herself now. "It'll be fun."

Amity blinks, her big green eyes telling me everything I need to know.

Revealing that despite her brave posture, she's scared shitless.

 

 

She struggles to keep up with me.

She does her best, stumbling over the rocky walkways, and trying to step over the sharp, broken steps without turning an ankle. Her shoes aren't practical here, and she's especially at a disadvantage when we walk over the slippery, wet pathways.

I try not to laugh as she carefully hurries along, her hideous dress getting dirty as we round sudden corners and it scrapes against every surface. At one point, she winds up in front of me, and she's so short I almost can't see her as I march on. I shove past her, nearly knocking her into the sharpest, roughest section of Dauntless, before we come to an abrupt stop at the elevators.

I can practically feel the relief radiating off her as the doors close and the elevator lifts skyward.

She's silent the entire ride, her stare on the doors in front of us, and I wonder if she's still feeling brave.

 

 

Of course, the key doesn't unlock the door it's assigned to.

Even better, the fucking apartment is on the same floor as mine. She has no clue that Max has assigned her to live in a section of apartments set aside for leaders, completely ignoring the fact she's supposed to be bunking with the other initiates in the terrible shared quarters designed to fuck with their sanity.

Way to really make this rough for her, Max.

I silently swear at him as the key jams in the lock, refusing to go in a single centimeter.

"You sure this is the key Max gave you?" I bark, and I try it again one more time.

The apartment this key should open up is practically beside mine, but it hasn't been totally remodeled yet. It still has old features and utilizes a key instead of the keycards we use everywhere else. For a second, the rage is blinding, my annoyance growing as my phone buzzes in my back pocket. I'd bet my entire salary it's Jeanine, still waiting for my thoughts on the new group, and in that moment, I give up and throw the key at the door.

It bounces right off, landing beside her feet.

"Yes." She answers, trying a slow step back away from me, her eyes glued to the door. "Should I go get him?"

I look at her as nastily as possible. She looks nervous now, her eyes flicking from my hand back to my face. "No. You aren't going to go run to Max. You can stay with me. It'll be easier anyway," I snarl, and I walk down a bit. I notice she hasn't moved, and I wonder if she's regretting her decision to come here. "Are you coming or are you sleeping in the hallway?"

I don't wait for her answer. I swipe my card to open up my own door, and I throw it open angrily. I step through the doorway, and eventually, little Amity follows after me, trying hard to be brave.


	2. Run 2.0

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO much to Bamberlee for editing this chapter! 
> 
> I will be in California next week, but the next chapter will still be posted on Friday :)

I watch her like a hawk.

After what feels like way too many minutes of hanging out in the hallway, she steps through the doorway and stops to look around. I'm mildly curious what she thinks, because the surprise on her face is impossible to hide as her eyes sweep over everything voraciously. I have half a mind to snap at her to take notes, because she won't be here long, but I bite the words back. Instead, I let her stare at my couch, then the kitchen, blinking as though she's never seen such things before.

She probably hasn't.

I've been to Amity a few times, each time leaving worried that I'd be coming home with fleas. Everywhere was dirty and old, even Johanna's office. Everyone was sweaty, their skin caked with dirt and foliage from the fields, yet no one seemed to be bothered by it. The dirtier the better seemed to be their motto. I'd had the unfortunate experience of catching a peek into one of the rarer off set homes, and I'd not been impressed. They made a lot of their own furniture, and everything was either shoddily handmade or passed down from one generation to the next.

My apartment is nothing like that.

I grew up in Erudite, living in one of the more luxurious homes in an area set aside for those who'd earned the privilege of living there. My father was a pretentious fuck, rarely home, rarely interested in anything other than his work, and often it was myself and the house keeper who were the only ones home. My mother flitted in and out, ready to psychoanalyze anything with a pulse, but mostly ready to criticize whatever it was I was doing. Despite my hatred of living there, I'd taken the level of taste with me, unwilling to settle for shitty, creaky furniture that came from God knows where. Everything in my apartment was either specially made or purchased from the markets after requesting specific pieces from the scavengers. I was more than willing to pay for what I wanted, always pleased with what they came back with. I can tell Amity has never seen anything like it, for her eyes linger on the rows of books and the couch, then flick back to the shiny kitchen.

Strangely, she looks a little wistful as the stares.

"This way." I call out to her, wishing she'd hurry the fuck up. I'm not Four, and I have zero interest in giving her an hour-long tour of the place. Or any tour. But she doesn't move. She just stands there, stuck in between the living room and kitchen. "Are you lost?"

I raise my eyebrow at her and she shakes her head.

"No. I like your kitchen." She looks at it once more, then steps toward me slowly, eyeing me warily. Just my luck, I'd have been assigned her as my initiate, and the only thing she'd shown interest in was gaping at my cabinets.

I despise her.

Maybe I can pawn her off on the kitchen staff and pretend today didn't happen.

"Great." I answer nastily, sounding ruder than ever. "Maybe you can cook your way to the top of the rankings."

To her credit, she doesn't say anything back. She just blinks at me from beneath her mess of hair and watches as I fling the guest bedroom door open. "This is where you'll stay while you train. Try to keep out of my way while you're here."

I don't wait for her to answer.

I storm away, exasperation running through every nerve in my body. I don't normally have a lot of patience for this sort of bullshit, and I feel ready to snap. The thought of her living here, in my apartment, is not pleasant at all. I've always enjoyed my space and my privacy. Having her here will cut into that tremendously. On the other hand, it could be beneficial, for this way I'd know she wasn't out doing all the stupid things almost all initiates did. This was usually their first taste of freedom, but it left them hungover and puking, and I didn't need that.

I wrestle with these thoughts as I walk past her, but I don't let her see any of that. I look straight ahead, and I fling my own bedroom door open, step through, and close my eyes.

Fuck this day.

This was already off to a shitty start, and I'd spent all of an hour with her. It wasn't that she was awful or even rude or obnoxious. That might have been better, because at least I could handle that. She was quiet and reserved, going along with whatever I said and way too decent looking to have crawled out of the Amity faction.

I clench my hands into fists, trying to ignore that thought. Her appearance had zero effect on whether or not she passed. It wouldn't matter if she were a troll and she ranked first, so long as she surpassed Four's class.

I clench my jaw down, thinking of all the work ahead of me, and I feel itchy, like I'm already wasting time. Maybe we should start tonight. Break her in quickly. I know right now she's not doing much besides standing there, in my guest room, staring at the walls.

I know what she's seeing. If she was impressed by my kitchen, she's probably dying of excitement at seeing an actual bed that wasn't made by someone's stoned uncle. When I'd moved in, I'd originally planned for the room to be an office. But it had wound up as an extra bedroom, having come in handy exactly once. It still had nicer furniture than the other members could ever dream of. A large, elegant, black wooden bed frame sits against the wall opposite the closet. I'd had them replace the doors to something that didn't look like it might fall apart the second you opened them. A dresser, far nicer than the ramshackle Amity shit they had was next to the doorway, and best of all- Amity now had her own private bathroom. The room was ideal for anyone, let alone an initiate. It was quiet and dark, nice and cool, and best of all, secluded from her competition.

She has no clue how good she has it.

I tear the heavy Dauntless jacket off and toss it on my bed, catching the time on the clock. It's later than I'd like and dragging her here had taken longer than I'd planned. I make the snap decision to start dinner, and I'll have to inform her she's to eat whatever I make.

I'd been thinking about it on the walk over, examining her for the few minutes I'd made her walk ahead of me. I hadn't waited for her when we left the control room, because I wanted to see if she'd follow me. I was pleased when she did, not even bothering to ask me where she should go. So far, she was obedient to a fault, only hesitating because she was nervous about entering my living space. Which was logical, so I couldn't blame her for that.

But on my walk, I'd taken careful note of her size and shape, sighing heavily to myself. She was tiny, fit enough from an active lifestyle in Amity, but nowhere near fighting shape. The boys in Four's class would easily pummel her until she couldn't see straight, and she didn't stand a chance against the largest ones. Her long hair was problematic, and there was little doubt someone would yank her by it the first chance they got. I was sure Four's class couldn't have been at all impressed by her, but that was good. It meant there was a high chance they'd already written her off.

Her dumb dress certainly couldn't have helped.

All things considered, coming here looking like she was out frolicking in the fields might have been a benefit to me, since I needed them to doubt her. I wanted their guards down so they'd think she'd fail, giving them a false sense of security. Because it would be then that she'd have a chance, when they weren't expecting it.

I definitely had my work cut out for me.

My first step would be to change her diet.

I don't know what she ate in Amity, but it wouldn't cut it here. She'd need healthy food, plenty of protein, and a balanced diet. She'd need enough carbohydrates to give her the fuel to make it through the day, plenty of water, and little sugar. She needed the building blocks to build muscle. The mess hall wouldn't provide her any of that, mostly because they catered to the masses. They didn't care what anyone ate, so long as they could make it in bulk. I didn't need her throwing up hamburgers or feeling sluggish after indulging in the heavy mac and cheese that was frequently on the rotation. I needed her in fighting shape, able to keep up with me, able to push past Four's class.

With that sobering thought, I head to the kitchen and throw open the cabinets.

While I pull out several plates, I get lost in my own head. My outlook is dismal at first, lamenting the fact I still haven't responded to Jeanine, and there's a message from Ashley asking if I was heading to Erudite tonight. Unfortunately, I'll be declining that offer, something that irks me even further. I was now responsible for Amity, and I didn't trust her enough to leave her here, even for a few hours.

I turn on the stove, quickly seasoning the chicken and my thoughts turn from the fact I could be distracting myself with Ashley, to planning Amity's training. I mentally go over Four's curriculum, knowing it from years of overseeing it alongside him, and I think of all the things I'd like to add to it. Luckily for me, and unluckily for Amity, I had free reign over this training. I could arrange it how I wanted, without having to worry about other's keeping up.

Before I know it, the chicken is cooked, and I plate out the two meals. It's odd to reach for a second plate, but I've measured out exact portions and everything fits perfectly. As I put carrots on her plate, frowning and wondering if this is enough for her, I get the funny feeling I'm being watched.

I am.

I jerk my head up, and sure enough, there she is, silently observing me.

She's still in her pink dress, but one of the straps has loosened, sliding down and threatening to come undone. She's tan, much like everyone in Amity, and her skin is pretty and youthful without a mark on it. She looks younger than eighteen, but just slightly. It's probably the way she's watching me, her hands clasped in front of her, and her gaze on my neck. I can only assume she's staring at the tattoo, and I smirk when she doesn't look away.

"See something you like, little Amity?" I get a slight thrill when she catches me watching her watch me, and she swallows. She seems too small to be in this apartment, especially when she fumbles to push up the strap of her dress.

"I wanted to know if I could go get dinner?" Amity politely asks, looking unsure.

I wonder if she's blind.

"Here." I cross the room lazily, shoving a plate at her. "We'll eat lunch with everyone else. I rarely eat dinner down there." She swallows nervously when I stop, probably at the tone of my voice. I wonder if she's only used to the hippies talking to her, presumably speaking much more slowly. I raise an eyebrow when she still doesn't move, and I hold the plate out again. "I promised Max I'd keep you alive, so you don't have to worry that I poisoned your food. At least not tonight."

She doesn't look like she believes me, but I don't blame her.

She reaches out hesitantly, but eventually she takes the plate. I've made chicken, vegetables, and these dinner rolls Jason found that tasted way better than any of the ones we'd had here. This food was far superior than the gruel she'd be eating if she were with Four's class, and strangely- she seems to have figured that out.

"Thank you." She sounds grateful, glancing to the side, looking for somewhere to sit. I don't have any reason to have a kitchen table, but I can tell she's looking for one. She eventually realizes she'll have to sit on the couch, and I watch her gingerly walk over to sit down on it. Amity neatly arranges her plate on her lap, and throws me a thankful look, but she doesn't start eating.

I walk over to the pristine couch. I sit down a few seats away, close enough I can see what she's eating, but far enough away I could potentially eat without saying a word to her. That lasts about a whole minute before I lose patience that she hasn't even picked up her fork.

"Eat. You won't make it through a day of training if you don't eat."

I snap the words at her, irritated I'm even having to say them.

I wonder if she'll panic, or maybe freak out at being in here alone with me. But she listens, and she stabs at the carrots and manages to eat a single bite. She smiles up at me, a hint of tiredness peeking through before she sets her fork down. I glower at her, growing hot when she doesn't repeat the action. For some reason this irks me beyond all belief. It's like she's purposely trying to fail, and she's dumb if she thinks she's going to make it through training eating like this.

"Eat the chicken. You need the protein." I frown, still watching her resume picking at her food. "Don't tell me you're a vegetarian." To my horror, I realize she might be. Members of Amity often preferred to let their livestock become family, and the very few who tried meat never really liked it. But Amity shakes her head, finally taking a decent sized bite of the chicken I'd cooked. She chews it thoroughly, and I visibly relax when she takes another bite.

I had visions of myself trying to find ways for her to get enough calories and protein without using anything I'd normally eat. I wasn't about to start eating a vegetarian diet at all, just for her. I don't mind this cooking for her, but I'm certainly not making her anything special.

"It's good. Thank you." She offers up, taking another long look at me. She seems to be observing me, taking in every single thing I do in some weird attempt to figure me out, but she can't. I wish her good fucking luck on her quest, because I have zero interest in getting to know her. I simply want her to pass her initiation so I can rub it in Max's face.

She seems to be awaiting my approval, still looking at me, so I nod, not caring at all what she thought of it and only pleased that she's eating. I wonder if she ate like this back home, or if she's just nervous. It might be the latter. I give her the benefit of the doubt, and after a few more minute bites, we lapse into silence. Well, really, I stop talking. She's barely said anything, and when she's done, she stands up, and looks right at me.

"Thank you for dinner," she tells me. Her voice is pretty and far clearer than before, so my natural reaction is to narrow my eyes at her. She slips past me, her offensively girly dress brushing against my pants as she heads to the kitchen.

I'm pleased when she washes her plate, then sets it aside to dry. She shuts off the water while I finish eating, then makes her way toward the guest room wordlessly. I can only assume she's going to bed, or at least trying to. There's no way she'll sleep easily, even if she's tired. The first night is always the worst, even I can admit that.

I rise from the couch, my own plate empty, and I quickly wash it and set it beside hers. I frown when I stare at it, the second plate and cutlery looking weird on my counter, and I make a note to put it away the minute it dries.

 

 

I text Ashley while I lie in bed.

The thought of seeing her is alluring, beyond appealing right now. Fucking her would be a great way to take my mind off training Amity, but I don't have the time. Getting up early is nothing new to me, but I don't trust this girl in my apartment by herself. Going to Erudite and back will take a few hours. While gone, Amity could easily go through everything I have here, or worse, wander around the compound unattended. Max had made me promise I'd keep her alive and finding her at the bottom of the chasm because I'd left her alone wouldn't go over very well.

I sigh in exasperation, reading the whiny tone that permeates Ashley's text: "Come. Just for an hour, Eric. You know I'll make it worth your while." It's been a few days and I force myself to try not to be annoyed. I text back telling her I'll take a raincheck, tossing the phone onto my nightstand. She'll respond again, but I won't.

I ignore it when it vibrates almost immediately, as if on cue. She'll just have to deal with it for a few days. I wait until it stops, then I close my eyes, fully expecting to fall asleep to the image of her blonde hair, cascading down her arching back while I hold her in place.

Instead, I lie there for a long time, until I finally dream of nothing.

 

 

I wake up at four am.

The early hour doesn't bother me. My phone is already going off, both Jeanine and Max clearly not needing to sleep, and I shove the covers back in annoyance. I read Ashley's message first- I'm right, she pleaded a few more times, then eventually got the hint and stopped. I respond only to Jeanine's message, tapping back a reply that I'll fill her in later. As far as I know, all the names on the list had transferred to the faction of their given results, and I hadn't followed up any further than that. I tell Max to ask Rylan for the report he needs, because I have other shit to do, shit he himself assigned me to do.

I take a quick shower, dress in the same training gear minus the vest I'd worn to oversee Four's class, and pull on my running shoes. My boots sit there under the uniform pants, mocking me with their presence. I'd much rather be lacing them up, but it's day one, and I've got to make sure Amity gets broken in. By the time I've brushed my teeth, combed my hair- making sure the part is even and it's got enough product to stay in place, it's nearly four thirty and the apartment is still silent.

I'd wondered if Amity would wake up on her own.

So far, I haven't heard a peep out of her, and it would have been far better for her to have already woken up. Irritation rushes through me as I walk toward the guest room, and I yank the door open without any hesitation.

It's pitch black. I wait for my eyes to adjust, giving her an extra few seconds to be awake, until I can see the bed.

Unfortunately for little Amity, she's sound asleep. A quick perusal of the room shows me she's barely moved in. The bag Max had sent for her is to the side of the dresser, but other than that, there's nothing. She's buried beneath the covers, dark hair spilling all around her, and I can barely make out her form. I walk toward the bed violently, and when she doesn't move, I snarl at her to get up. It works, and she lifts her head up in surprise, blinking in the dark room.

"After today I won't be your alarm clock."

I stand there as she struggles to sit up, still half asleep. She pushes her hair out of her eyes and tries to smooth it down, squinting in my general direction. I wait patiently for her to keep moving, but she looks like she'd rather crawl back beneath the covers and go right back to sleep.

I remedy this situation the best way I can.

By yanking the covers off her bed.

"Any day now, Amity."

"I'm up. Thank you, Eric." Amity finally looks awake, startled, but awake. She eyes the sheets that I've shoved to the side and swings her legs over the edge, slowly sliding down. She's changed out of her pink dress into something Max must have thrown in her bag for her to use as pajamas. He must have no idea about women's sizing, because the shirt is oversized and ill fitting, and it comes down past her thighs. Her legs are bare, and I stare at her a second too long.

"Didn't you have to be up early to work on the farm?" I meet her gaze, ignoring the way she doesn't look half bad for someone who'd been woken up out of a dead sleep. She shrugs slightly, and her gaze falls to the floor at the thought of Amity.

"Sometimes," she answers, her tiny voice sounding far away. "I guess I should get dressed."

I shrug back at her, growing even more impatient. I hate that she looks sort of lost because this isn't going to get any easier. I loudly warn her she has thirty minutes to get ready and I have no intention of waiting around for her.

I turn on my heel, storming out towards the kitchen.

I don't shut her door on my way out.

 

 

The training room is deserted.

I enjoy the silence, even more so as Amity stands before me, awaiting my commands. She'd followed along with me as we left the apartment. She'd tried hard to keep up by my side, determined to walk next to me, but failing when we reached some of the more narrow sections.

Now, I stare her down, arms crossed over my chest and she patiently awaits her fate.

Poor thing.

I have a full day ahead of us and she won't look so eager by the time we're done.

"Start running," I instruct. "Keep going until I tell you to stop."

Amity nods her head and takes off, heading towards the outer edge of the training room. I take my time watching her, noticing this seems easy for her, and she's clearly spent time running. The laps pass quickly, routinely, and it's clear she's not at all out of breath.

So, I join her.

Running has long been a pastime of mine, an easy way to clear my head while reaping the physical benefits. I'd spent plenty of time jogging through the city, lost in my planning and mentally debating my own thoughts. She has no clue I can run for hours, far longer than most. But she will. I decide this as I run right beside her, and she looks over in surprise.

"This way."

She runs with ease, stumbling only when she reaches the edge of the compound, unsure if she should go on. I haven't given her a specific route, so I increase my pace and she follows along blindly. She tries her best, keeping on my heels as we run through the empty streets, beneath the train tracks until we reach the destination I had in mine. Little Amity has done well, but now she's slowing down, her skin flushed and her breathing uneven.

I pause at the bottom of what was once a rundown parking garage, giving her no more than ten seconds to catch her breath. I take off again, and she does too, only not as fast as before.

"Faster." I snarl at her, not impressed.

I ignore her for the rest of the run, sprinting up the ramps without looking back, listening to her feet hit the pavement. I reach the highest level far before she does, the sun having now risen and the light blinding. Moments later, she catches up, shoving her hair out of her eyes and nearly crashing into me. I look at her lazily, wondering just how she expects to catch anyone or protect her new factions when she can't even run a measly ten miles.

"Ready to head back?" My words are clipped, short and sharp.

Still out of breath, she nods her head once, staring out at the view before us. I suppose it's impressive if you've never seen it before; there's plenty of tall buildings surrounding us, but this gives us a whole different look at the city, especially with the light reflecting off the tallest ones. Not many who live here are awake yet, and the silence seems deafening.

I wait a half second, noticing she's still staring, lost in the view, and I clear my throat.

"Are you done?" I bark at her, and she gets the hint, taking off immediately. She runs past me, lightly heading toward the down ramp without waiting for me. She uses it to her advantage, and I lazily wait until she's far enough ahead to think she's safe before I start running. I catch up with her by the time she reaches the bottom, and with one long stride, I pass right by her.

"Fuck."

It might be my imagination, but I think I hear her swearing, trying to regain her lead. I smirk as I run, knowing I can continue on forever without much effort. I hear her panting as we speed up, and I hope she appreciates this. I've gifted her this run, starting off our training by clearing her mind. I'd always taken advantage of this time, growing to appreciate the feeling that would come after I was done, and so would she.

I slow down when I reach the compound, waving off the security officer's interested stare. One turns away quickly, catching a fleeting glimpse of Amity catching up to me. She stops right in front of me, just like she should, not even noticing the guard. I graciously give her a moment to cool down, before heading in, and she follows alongside me back into the training room.

"Go get a drink, then meet me back here. We'll start on the bags." I stalk past her, stretching my head from side to side, letting my own heart rate slow down. Our run was a good sign she'd listen. She hadn't given up yet, and she was able to keep up for most of it. I grab a quick drink of the water I'd brought, and I watch her undo the ponytail her hair had been in. Her black hair falls down into a mess, but she pulls it back up and twists it into a bun so it's off her neck. I let myself linger while watching her, and she gulps down a few sips of water before closing her eyes and taking a deep breath.

It makes me delightedly amused.

She's going to need more than that to make it through this day.

 

 

She's far smaller than I'd like.

One of the first things I'd noticed was that she was pretty, but also pretty small. Her head came up to the center of my chest, and she always seemed to be a second away from tripping over my feet.

After she's cooled down, I help her get into the correct stance to punch at the bag, mostly by using my body to move her. It's easier to force her into the positions than explain them, and in the process, I wind up completely covering her as I adjust her again and again.

After the first hour passes, it becomes obvious someone has showed her a few moves. A very, very, very small part of me is pleased she's not clueless about what I'm asking her to do. Not anything super helpful. She's not disastrously bad, but she's certainly not good. Anyone taller than her could easily break her nose by punching her in the face, and she's a little too scrawny to be intimidating.

Lovely.

"You're not good. But you're not completely hopeless." I position myself right behind her, bending down and hissing the words in her ear. I don't want her to think she's got this in the bag, because she doesn't. But I can work with it. "You'll have to listen to everything I tell you. Word for word."

She jumps when I move to grab her hands, holding them where I want them. I find myself snickering, wondering if she's not used to anyone touching her and thinking this might be a great way to fuck with her. I grin again when I kick her foot forward, readjusting her entire stance.

"Like this." I hold her in place, demonstrating exactly what I want her to do. I figure if I can get her to have a proper foundation, the rest will fall into place. For now, it works. She mimics what I just showed her, and pleased with her form, I nod my head. "You do a lot of fighting back in Amity? Is that why you're here? You get kicked out?"

I watch her try not to smile as though she doesn't want to tell me. I am curious as to why she'd want to leave there, especially considering she still looks like she's heading back later. Even in her training clothes, she looks far too innocent to be punching at things, and her stare unnerves me. She keeps looking at me, hanging on my every word, soaking it all up no matter what I say.

So, I want to know why, out of all the factions, she chose Dauntless. She could have picked anywhere else and had a much easier time.

But she doesn't enlighten me. She shrugs in this infuriating manner, as though she's far too superior to reply and she resumes punching at the bag.

"I asked you a question, Amity." I step closer until I'm standing over her form, growling in her ear. If she thinks I'm going to play some game with her, she's wrong. "And you're going to answer."

My intimidation tactic works, because she gives in immediately.

"My brother showed me a few things," she finally mumbles, and she stops punching. She pushes a fallen piece of hair out of her eyes and I step away from her, arms clasped behind my back. A dark look crosses her face, strange after how optimistic she's been thus far. "I've wanted out of Amity for a while now. He offered to help."

"Ahhh." I cock my head to the side, and my lips curl into some half-smile. "I see. Trying to get a leg up on the competition. I hear Amity has a great training program."

I have to hold back my laughter.

Out of all the things I've heard, this strikes me as hilarious. This girl, having her brother teach her how to fight- poorly - in hopes of making it in another faction. She chose the toughest faction of all, one with high standards and a grueling initiation process, and she's hoping her dopey brother knew enough to keep her in the game.

She picks up on the amusement on my face.

"Funny," she snaps back at me, and she glances to my side.

Before I can send her off to run some more for having a shitty attitude, she's saved by the appearance of Four's class, loudly spilling into the training room. Unlike her, they are wild, pushing and shoving each other as they excitedly start their first day. It takes them only seconds to realize I'm standing there with Amity, and their eyes widen. Some in disgust, some in delight at discovering their competition is right in front of them. I stare them down when I hear a few mutter my own name, then hers. It sounds funny, the whispers not all quiet as Four arrives behind them, dressed all in black. He immediately looks at me, then my disheveled initiate, and he dares to frown.

I glare at him.

"This way, Amity." I make the decision that we're leaving, rather than sharing one more second of our training with Four. Amity's already hours ahead of Four's class, but I don't need them seeing that. She follows after me instantly, punching bag forgotten as we head through the hallway and back outside. The air feels good after being inside, and I relish the silence as we head closer to the edge of the compound. I come to a stop in front of the train tracks, the same place we'd stood hours ago, and I decide to see what she's made of.

"Same route."

With that I take off, not looking back at her once.

 

 

I text Rylan as we walk down to the mess hall.

He's curious to know how things are going, and I simply write "fine", without bothering to elaborate any further. Amity had done poorly on the second run, but I'd expected it. I'd given her a few minutes to recover at the top, watched her try not to vomit up the water she'd had earlier, and slowed our pace considerably on the way back. She wasn't my ideal initiate, not by a long shot, but I did have direct orders to keep her alive. And she was trying. I couldn't ignore that.

Once inside, I shove her into one of the lines for food, instructing her to grab a plate and snarkily insisting she enjoy her lunch. She wouldn't like it, but I didn't care. I wasn't cooking her three meals a day. When I'm reassured she'll find some lettuce or air to eat, I head into the kitchens, nastily barking at someone to grab me some chicken and some salad. Then I turn, cross my arms over my chest, and stand in the doorway so I can keep one eye on her from a distance.

She looks defeated.

She stands in line by herself, a good head shorter than everyone else, mixed in with members and initiates alike. A few stare at her as she halfheartedly picks out something from the table while a few members scrunch up their faces in confusion. They know that she's here for initiation, but they don't really know who she is. We'd skipped the welcome dinner for several reasons, and I'm sure some people are dying to know why she's alone or what she's doing.

"Hey, you want extra tomatoes?" Quinten walks up beside me, wiping his hands on the towel slung through his belt. He's been working hard, his kitchen fully staffed to prepare for the onslaught of new members and he eyes me suspiciously.

He knows my disdain for his kitchen, so my presence isn't exactly welcome.

"Sure," I answer, turning back to find my trainee.

She's still easy to spot, especially since she sticks out like a sore thumb. I can tell she's lost as she holds her plate close to her, looking around for somewhere to sit. She frowns when she realizes everyone else knows each other, and she'll have to sit alone or take a chance and sit with Four's class.

Choose wisely, Amity.

She's smart, or she can read my mind from a distance, because she finds an empty table and sits down all by herself. Her head hangs down to stare at her plate and she stabs at her food, but much like last night, she doesn't appear to be actually eating.

"Here you go, sir. Enjoy." Quinten finishes up my lunch, proudly handing it to me.

"Thanks," I tell him, striding out of the hot kitchen and into the masses. I can still see Amity, not eating, but looking around as Four's class swarms the empty tables. They all find seats together, shoving and punching and talking loudly, a sense of temporary comradery amongst them already. No one dares sit with her, but several of them stare when she isn't looking.

I head toward her.

Her table is off to the side, but definitely in the middle of all the action. I slide into the seat next to her, winding up much closer than I'd actually planned, and she looks up in surprise. Her face tells me she's wishing I were anyone but me, and I'm not entirely insulted.

"Eat," I bark at her, annoyed as ever that I'm repeating this conversation with her. "What did I tell you last night?"

"I am," She protests. She looks right at me, taking an exaggerated bite of her turkey, and I'm not impressed. She's like dining with a child, one who hasn't caught on that I don't have the patience for this. She takes another bite, staring at me again, and I lean into her so I can glare at her up close. I can't force her to eat, but I can make sure she knows it's expected that she's able to make it through her day.

"You won't make it through this afternoon if you don't eat. But suit yourself." I shrug, throwing dark looks at those daring to look our way. We've drawn some attention, mostly from the next table over.

"What are we doing this afternoon?" She asks me carefully, pushing her fork around aimlessly.

I look down at her, her question very polite and not at all unnecessary. She's waiting for me to answer, but still not eating.

"Training." I coldly answer, staring at her plate. It's mostly full, and I swear she's eaten one single bite.

Little Amity sighs, but not out of annoyance. She's frustrated, her attempt to get me to talk a total bust. After a moment she stands up, picking up the tray and looking around for somewhere to dump it.

"Sit down." I snap, losing all patience. "Finish your lunch. We have a lot to do this afternoon and passing out from hunger isn't on the list."

She nods miserably, following my instructions.

"Fine."

We eat the rest of the meal in silence. I have the sinking, shitty feeling she's very unhappy, but it's not my problem. I didn't force her to come here, and all I've asked is that she eat her lunch. She'll be expending far more calories than she's taking in, and she'll crash sooner rather than later.

I finish my own salad, and stand up, nodding at her silently. She's eaten more, not entirely enough, but it's on her if she passes out.

She follows me out of the mess hall, silent as ever.

 

 

Ashley's messages ding at a rapid pace.

_Tonight?_

_Tomorrow?_

_Where are you? I called and you didn't answer._

I decline all of them, shoving my phone in my pocket and trying to ignore the irritation that was growing. Ashley was skating on thin ice, her persistence rubbing me the wrong way. She knew all along I wasn't in this long term, and she was nothing more than a convenience for me.

And right now, she wasn't convenient.

I watch as Amity runs again, her face pale and her legs shaky, and eventually, I let her stop.

 

 

We head back silently.

She doesn't know the way to my apartment yet, but I expect her to learn it quickly. She follows right behind me, her dark hair sticky and her skin flushed bright red. She looks run down, physically exhausted after being pushed to the brink of her limits and mentally worn out.

I'd gone above and beyond what Four's class had started with. I now knew that Amity was fine running, her fighting wouldn't be as terrible as I thought, but she was weaker than I'd prefer. I needed to make her stronger, quickly, and I didn't know if I had the time to do it. But I did give her a break as we left before the other initiates, their hotly jealous stares finding us as we walked by. Four's class still had three hours to go, but Amity and I were done.

She's quiet as the elevator takes us to my floor, silent as I unlock the door, and she nearly collapses as she steps through the doorway. She takes off right past me without so much as looking at me, and she heads directly into the guest room. I've barely set my keycard down when I hear her shower start, and I smirk.

Poor thing. She must be ready to pass out.

I should shower myself, but I read a few more messages on my phone to kill some time. I inform Max I'll need to reschedule my meeting with him until Amity's first week is done. He won't like that, and it's likely he won't agree with it, but I'll have to leave her alone if he expects me to sit and listen to him yap about factional politics. I finally reply to Ashley, closing my eyes briefly and trying to conjure up an image of her face so I don't rip her apart for texting me twelve times. I get as far as picturing her blue eyes, before my phone dings again, and it's Rylan- telling me he's left the books I wanted on my counter. I thank him, tell Ashley I'll call her later, and pick up the books.

I'll need some time to shower and make dinner, so this is perfect way to keep her busy. I walk through the open guest room door, knocking even though I own the place, and I notice the bathroom door is slightly open and the shower is off.

I clear my throat, considering that fair warning before I hunt her down.

"Just a minute," she calls out, stepping through the doorway, her eyes widening when she sees me. It's clear she wasn't expecting me, in my own apartment, because she yelps, attempting to cover herself up with the large towel.

"What are those?" She asks, her green eyes traveling from my hand to my face. She pulls the towel tighter, trying hard not to look right at me. But I'm looking at her, this girl in my apartment, having just stepped out of the shower. Her hair is blacker than black now, the water dripping down her neck and onto her collarbone in a strangely hypnotic manner.

I shake my head.

Her eyes are green, sleepy and warm, and not blue. She's nowhere near my type, and I feel myself start to laugh when I picture Ashley beside her, towering over Amity's stature.

"They're books," I answer dryly, dragging my stare back to her face. "You read them."

"Yes, I'm aware of how books work. Thank you. Can I get dressed now?"

I squint my eyes at her. She suddenly has a lot of attitude for someone who isn't wearing any clothes. She stares back, her face scrunching up into a dirty look. Poor little free loving, hippy dippy Amity is obviously uncomfortable with me standing before her, while she stands there in basically nothing.

She should get over it.

I don't care about her discomfort. I smirk at her tiny frame, her optimism now gone as she glares at me. It's like she thinks if she tries hard enough, I'll leave. Just to prove my point, I make her wait, stalling and watching her for a moment longer before I finally set the books on my dresser. "If you have to."

I take one last look at her, dripping wet, as she realizes she has homework.

I saunter away.


	3. You can't have your cake and eat it, too.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Major thanks to Bamberlee for editing this chapter! 
> 
> I'm updating early to celebrate The Bachelorette being on and because I thought we could all use an early chapter of Eric and Everly before I leave for vacation!

I call Ashley, listening to her practically purr in my ear, delighted I'd contacted her.

Amity has long gone to bed, having eaten a quick dinner before heading back into the guest room. I can only assume she's resumed reading what I've given her, but the silence in the apartment tells me she's asleep.

So, I indulgently let Ashley go on, reclining back onto my couch, my legs spreading apart, head falling back and my eyes closing. For a few minutes she tells me what I want to hear; how much she's been waiting for this moment, the things she'd like to do if I were there, down to what she's wearing.

My eyes stay closed, listening to her, waiting for the familiar feeling of lust to take over. I keep waiting for my muscles to tighten, or my stomach to burn with the desire to see her, to say "fuck it" to babysitting Amity. The hazy thought of calling Rylan, telling him I've been called away and can he make sure Amity stays inside is there, but it never really pushes itself forward.

Ashley says something about her shirt coming off, and my eyes fly open.

Not at the image, but at the sound of Amity's door shutting. I sit up, head turning to squint at it, wondering what she was doing in there. In reality, she's probably just going to bed, grateful for the privacy the room offers her. But I sit there, the phone in my hand, waiting for her to come back out.

I have no idea why.

"What's going on? Are you alone?" Ashley asks, her tone changing from a wanton, sultry tease to an irritated shrew. "Eric! Are you listening to me?"

"Yeah," I grunt, returning to my original position. "I'm listening."

She tries again, telling me if I leave now, I could be there by ten to see her in person, and she'd definitely like it if I were there to take her shirt off, but I shake my head.

I've lost interest in what she's saying. I hang up abruptly, telling her I'll see her later.

 

 

Daniel calls me in the middle of the day.

I ignore him, wondering how a man so intelligent could not realize I'm working at eleven am, and I also ignore the ding of the desperate voicemail he leaves. I know what he wants, and unfortunately for him, he's not getting it.

He and I have never had a great relationship, so his timing is suspect. I have no desire to talk with him, to play catch up so he can pry into the very private details of my life, ones that didn't and would never include him.

It had been years since I transferred, leaving behind Blythe and Daniel. I'd left Erudite on my own terms, but also with the alluring and delicious offer of running Dauntless once I passed initiation. The only catch was working for Jeanine on a few select things she needed help with, and in return- I had unlimited authority over the faction. She'd always been a source of entertainment to me; I knew she pissed off Daniel, and she was a point of weakness for Blythe.

Her offer, gifted to me years ago, had felt too good to be true; my own faction, members obeying my orders, fearing me, eating out of the palm of my hand. I would be guaranteed the position, and really, there was no reason not to take it. I had Ashley, willing to overlook my move and come to me whenever I wanted her, and I'd have little reason to stay in Erudite.

I'd never looked back.

I'd chosen Dauntless, my blood hot and sticky as Jeanine's cold stare held mine, and I thought of her words. Her promises hanging over my head, oh so obtainable that I could reach out and touch them.

It had worked out quite well.

I was rightfully handed the position after my initiation, and I'd never thanked anyone. Not her, not Daniel, and certainly not Blythe. I had zero relationship with any of them, only speaking with Jeanine because she came through with her end of the bargain. I did what she asked, and I was rewarded with what was rightfully mine.

It wasn't hard. I'd long been privy to what she was thinking, and I had to say I agreed with her ideals. She wasn't that far off base in her thinking. She seemed to understand our citizens needed to stay in their own lane. That nothing good came from trying to come together as a whole. I'd grown up watching Daniel struggle to save the world, no matter who his patient was, for no good reason. He helped whoever was in need, whether they deserved it or not.

He was kind, patient, and always looking for some way he could give back, always trying to unite the factions through his medical practice. I can still remember the time he'd volunteered to help the factionless in some mass attempt to keep them out of sight, only once, then spent three days wracked with guilt over the ones he couldn't help.

I'd never found him impressive. His brilliance was shadowed by his kindness, this bleeding heart who was too blinded by helping others to help himself. He wanted to save lives, to make a difference, to right all he could. He didn't believe in the strict, rigid separation of the factions, so this was his way of reaching out, of unifying the city.

I hated him.

I hated everything he stood for, so much so I rarely spoke to him.

When it came down to it, I barely knew him. I'd grown up under the watchful eye of a nanny, rarely seeing either of them. As I got older, I quickly learned Daniel had a less than marriage to Blythe, one that was a battle of who was smarter, who was more respected, and who was right. I found him to be weak, often bending under Blythe's demands to keep the peace, and eventually giving up to spend his time serving at the hospital. Head neurosurgeon, who could save a patient's life in minutes, yet he couldn't keep his own marriage intact.

I'd never been connected to him, never had the chance to, and by the age of six, I stopped looking for him. He had never been a part of my life, but once I'd left his, he'd suddenly developed a desire to know me. A guilty conscious ate at him, making him seek out something he'd never have or never had tried to have.

Which is why, now, as he calls again, do I feel a rush of loathing for him.

 

 

Amity sleeps like the dead.

It's no surprise to me, after all, her training is off and running, and I have to say -she looks like shit for most of it.

She spends her days with me, pushing as hard as she possibly can, and desperately trying not to cave under the pressure. We have yet to see Lauren's class, but we occasionally spot Four's class here and there, always in passing. I make sure our training is opposite theirs. Amity never speaks to them, never gives them the pleasure of acknowledging they exist, and is better off for it.

She stays right beside me. She runs with me every day, her hair in her face, her skin flushed as she tries to keep my pace, and I find she's not a terrible companion. She and I cover a lot of ground before Four's class has even risen, and we return before they've walked through the doors. She's never too far away from me, like a tiny shadow beside me, and I dare give her credit for walking with her head held high.

Amity works hard at everything I give her, no matter what. The past few days she's spent carefully making sure her form is correct, even though I can see the physical fatigue setting in. Our pace is faster than Four's class, meant to push her beyond what his group is doing. As they're still running and learning the general basics of working out, she's punching the bag until her hands start to crack, the redness oozing with every punch, until I send her to wash them off. She eats, sort of, and she's quiet as fuck when the others stare at her.

We go back to the apartment together, and occasionally, she exhaustedly wanders into me.

I almost always shove her away.

Almost.

 

 

Today, I take her hands in mine, and I sneer at her.

She's cold, always, her skin frigid even though we've been working out all morning. It's like now that she's stuck underground, she's wilting away without sunlight.

Too bad for her.

I roughly jerk her back a step, until her back is against my chest, effectively trapping her against me.

"Aim a little more to the left, and fire."

She holds her arms outright and points the gun straight ahead. Every time she shifts in place, I can smell her hair. The scent is familiar, and I know it's the same shampoo I use. She adjusts her position again, shifting her weight and leaning back into me out of habit. I should shove her forward and away from me and tell her to knock it off. If she's too tired that's not my problem, but it is my problem she knows I'm usually behind her.

"Any day now, Amity." I dryly bark at her, waiting impatiently for her to fire the gun. I've learned she soaks everything in first before acting on it. She'd carefully listened to me instructing her how to take it apart, where to aim, and just exactly how to shoot the gun I'd handed her. When she's ready, I feel her suck the air in, her arms tensing as she pulls the trigger. The gun goes off with a loud bang, and unprepared for the kickback, she's forcefully knocked into me.

I let her stay there, noting where her shot landed.

"Again," I drawl, and she nods.

She aims the gun higher, and I tighten my grip on her hands. She reminds me of a child holding the gun, but this is important. If Amity wants to protect herself or her faction, she needs to stay alive, and that means learning to shoot a deadly weapon. I squeeze my arms tighter, keeping her trapped and secure against me, and I duck my head down.

"Now."

I'm close enough that I my lips touch her ear, and I stay there until she fires the gun again.

This time, she hits the target dead center.

She's still thrown back and I still hold her in place.

"Again."

It goes on for some time. When I feel like she's done well enough to try it on her own, I let go of her. She wobbles for a second, then goes right back to shooting, never giving up. I watch her carefully, making all the mental notes I'll need to score her; she has good form, she can hit the target, but she's infuriatingly, still, an easy target herself. I squint when the gun goes off for the tenth time, and she smiles when she notices she's done well.

I don't smile back.

I recline against the brick wall, scrolling through the tablet I'd brought along with me. I feel a wave of annoyance when Daniel emails me again, still not getting the hint. Out of sheer boredom, I give in and read it, distracted until I realize she's stopped shooting.

"Take a break," I yell out, typing back a reply. These messages are nothing more than a thorn in my side, busy work on my already full plate.

Daniel,

I have no free time this week or next.

Eric.

My next email is from Jeanine, a nasty one that makes me smile.

She's found some names she'd like me to investigate, and I take careful note of them. I then reply to Rylan, telling him I'll have some time this evening if he wants to meet up. I haven't been training Amity for all that long, but my absence at our usual dinner was bugging him. He'd called, almost as often as Daniel, not used to not being able to get ahold of me. He'd also sent a message, Jason as well- one with an infuriating amount of angry faces and champagne bottles and a random tomato, inviting me out all under the guise of wanting to go to happy hour.

If they weren't two of the only people I trusted, I'd blow them off or tell them to see themselves to the chasm.

When I look up from the screen, Amity is taking a break. She's sitting on the ledge, drinking her water with her legs stretched out in front of her, as she processes her shooting practice. I stare at her again, noticing that her whole body is drenched in sunlight, and a few rogue pieces of her hair fall down around her shoulders. She's still wearing the training clothes all initiates are given, ill-fitting and hideous- meant to make them stand out, but she looks a little bit better now.

Not so entirely lost.

I dare say she looks stronger, less likely to be trekking back to Amity, even after minimal time training. All thanks to me.

Unaware that I'm watching her, she tilts her face upward, soaking in the cool breeze and the warm sun as my tablet dings, again. I squint at the message, Daniel asking me to please call him when I get the chance, and I sneer in disgust.

He hasn't gotten the hint, even after all this time.

I don't reply. I delete his second email, hesitating slightly when I log out of the email server. When I look back up, annoyance crawling it's way up my neck, I realize she's staring at me, my initiate. She's caught me in a moment of distraction, giving her precious time to watch me.

I stare right back.

She doesn't smile, but she doesn't look away. I've gotten used to her slinking around my apartment, trying to stay out of my sight. But that doesn't mean she's invisible. I've seen her in my kitchen, fingers lingering on my cabinets, probably leaving fingerprints that Carol will polish off the next day. I've seen her wake up, her eyes sleepy and her posture screaming she's still tired. I've seen her frown, her head bowing down over her plate as she tries hard to eat what I've cooked. I stare back at her, her features seeming too delicate, her eyes too large and her lips threatening to dare smile in my direction, and I feel myself straighten up.

I take one last look at her, the cloudless sky blue behind her, and the air seems to still.

"Time to head inside. We've got a few things to do before lunch." I stalk off ahead of her, knowing full well she will follow behind.

She does.

 

 

We keep going.

She's making good progress, following along at a pace that's acceptable to me, and progressing enough that I move on as quickly as I'd like to. It's still hard to picture her in the heavy uniforms, but I try not to think about that. Instead, I focus on keeping her ahead of Four's class, which means upping the pace even more.

"Next week we'll start the fights. You'll be ranked on your performance in them." I make sure she's looking right at me, my intonation serious as ever. We're about to embark upon a section of her training I hadn't been looking forward to, but it was unavoidable. "Because I am training you, it's expected that you will do well."

I look her up and down, her slight frame mocking me, and I can't help but sigh.

"Let's get started."

She nods her head. I begin by showing her some of the more basic fighting moves. Thanks to her winner of a brother, she easily conquers them, and seems confident enough that I don't have to spend too much time repeating myself. She's not entirely afraid to demonstrate them on me, though I can easily deflect everything she does, and she asks a few thoughtful questions. I show her a few more punches, and when she's mastered those to my satisfaction, we move on to something more advanced.

Actual fighting.

I had to get her ready to fight, really fight, and not just against someone tiny. Four had offered to let her join his class if I needed to pair her up with someone.

His intent wasn't entirely innocent; sure, he was concerned she'd stay alive, but he'd also love to see what I'd taught her. I'd already made my decision that for now, she'll work only with me. Other than sporadic emails, I hadn't spoken to Max since agreeing to train her. My understanding was that since she was ranked against the other classes, she would eventually have to fight against them. I'd prefer to have her prepared for the worst and fighting against me, for that would be the best plan of action.

She's still as I position her arms and legs. She doesn't bat an eye when I shove her legs further apart with one of my own, and my fingers find her hips. I hold onto her tightly, more so than necessary, keeping her eyes locked on mine while I instruct her.

"Now, what would your plan of attack be if they had you cornered?"

I stare down at her, my fingers digging into her hip bones, and she thinks quickly.

"I would…"

The slam of the door interrupts whatever she was about to say. I look up in rare surprise, having been completely immersed in what I was doing. She'd been doing fairly well so far, but we come to a grinding halt when I see Four's class enter the training room.

"Guess we lost track of time." She sounds surprised herself, and I immediately let go of her, observing as they file in. A few look up at me, and it's apparent something in their attitude has shifted; rather than stare at us enviously, this time- they look at her viciously.

She notices.

I can see her tense up under their stares, but it's really only visible to me. Her shoulders rise up and she seems to hold her breath as they walk by, because there's nowhere for her to hide. She's front and center for them to gape at.

"Yeah. We did." I nod my head at her, and I pull my shoulders down and back the minute Four finally arrives in front of us. He does his best to pretend he's not furiously looking for a reason to be concerned, but his tight smile does little to hide his worry. Of course, boy wonder has to wander over, leaving his own class milling behind him like a bunch of morons.

I grimace at the mere sight of him.

"We missed you at lunch. You two not eating today?" Four raises an eyebrow at 'lunch' and I bristle at his words. I don't appreciate him coming anywhere near my initiate, let alone questioning what we were doing. Anyone with eyes can see we were still training, both of us still dressed in the work out gear, slightly sweaty.

"We've been busy." I point out, making sure he knows I have nothing to hide. I look at him nastily, hating the way his eyes skate over Amity's exposed skin in an accusatory manner. "You know, training."

He doesn't like my answer, I can tell. Four takes a step closer to Amity, and she's now in the middle of us.

"Too busy to eat? That's not good. It looks like you've lost a bit of weight, Everly." He looks from her, right at me, and I swear to God he looks pleased.

I feel my jaw clench down so hard my teeth feel like they could break. His words are full of sincere concern, but there's an underlying meaning to them. He's ridiculous enough to think I'd starve her, for some weird reason. He goes back to staring at Amity as though she's now frail and underweight, though her standing in front of me doesn't help. I'm sure he'd love to run and tattle to Max that she's being worked too hard.

It also doesn't help when she takes a step back toward me, until she's right in front of my chest.

"No, I'm fine. I just want to do as much as I can. We were actually just leaving now to go eat. Plus, I, uh, you know, have been working out just a little more than normal." She shrugs, not giving into what he wants at all. "But thank you for your concern."

Four looks at her, and his dissatisfaction is clear as day. He presses his lips together, swallowing down whatever it is he was about to say. He finally nods, as though granting Amity permission to continue on with me, but I can see it's killing him.

I have to restrain myself.

I take step forward, nearly knocking Amity of the way, feeling my fingers brush against hers as I stare him down.

"Are you implying I'm not letting her eat, Four?"

It's a stand-off now, one I'm not about to lose. I may have lost to him once, one pathetically long time ago, but not again. Not over this. I know he's waiting for me to fuck up, to hurt her or have her crawling to him, pleading to let her train with him and his class. But he's wrong.

It'll never happen.

I raise an eyebrow at him, awaiting his brilliant response, and I can see the very second he backs down.

"No, I'm not. Enjoy your day." He nods at her, so slight it's almost not there, and he throws one final worried look at her arms. He then leaves, glancing back over his shoulder once, before joining his class.

I watch him, making sure he's gone for good, and I turn on my heel.

"Come on," I call out, not giving her much notice. I head toward the door, the desire to continue with our practice now gone, and she trails after me toward the dining hall. When we get to the large doors, I stop and turn around, and she nearly crashes right into me.

"Is there something you aren't telling me?" My voice sounds acidic now, my rage at Four being taken out on her. I stare at her in the darkened hallway, trying to see if I think she now looks too thin. She looks the same to me, less weak and more alive, but leave it for Four to think otherwise.

She shakes her head furiously.

"What do you mean?" She looks up at me, her eyes worried. "Is it because of what he said?"

"Are you still hungry? Am I not feeding you enough for dinner? Or are you and Four just trying to screw with me…" I bark at her, ready to slam my fist into the wall. She is thin, but it's not anything extreme. She's simply lost a few pounds for being far more active here than in Amity. I wouldn't have expected her to gain weight, and I don't think she looks unhealthy. "Well?"

I hiss at her, and I'm suddenly livid at her quietness.

She blinks.

"Wait, Four and me? I haven't spoken to Four since he took me to Max's office. When would I see him? I'm always with you!" She interrupts, looking utterly confused. "And I'm fine. I'm not hungry after any of my meals, and if I was, don't you think I'd tell you?"

She looks defeated again, the panic welling up inside her now all over her face. I stop before snapping at her again, realizing she's fine. She's eating better than most initiates, and I know she isn't starving. My frustration is more from Four sticking his nose in my business, after a mostly pleasant morning. It's not her, I repeat to myself, and I swallow heavily.

The thought of Four makes me irate all over again, so angry I step away from her and try to calm down.

Fuck Four.

Fuck him and his nosiness.

"Don't lose any more weight," I bark at her, throwing the door open.

She follows after me, her tiny little self staring at the ground.

 

 

 

I cancel on Rylan.

He shrieks like he's being stabbed, the sound echoing in my ear while I cook the pasta noodles.

"You fucker! You promised! You said, and I quote, 'I have time tonight. I'll meet you there'."

"Yeah, well something came up," I mutter, turning the water down and mixing in some salt. "I'll meet you in a few days and besides, I'll see you in the meeting tomorrow. We can grab lunch then. I'll have her eat with-"

"You're ditching me for her, aren't you?" He accuses me loudly, sounding oddly hurt for someone who kills people on a routine basis. "Your trainee? It's all about her now, making sure she's happy. You've bailed on us for weeks now."

"It has nothing to do with making her happy and it hasn't been weeks." I snarl, wishing I'd never called him. "I had a few things happen. I need to make sure I handle them."

"Uh huh." He answers, but I focus on heating up the sauce, pleased when my apartment begins to smell good. I keep one eye out for Amity, waiting for her to wander in from her shower.

"Is it because of what I said about Ashley? Dude, you know she's obnoxious. At the last meeting she kept calling me Ryan."

I close my eyes briefly.

It was true. Ashley had, in fact, called him Ryan, just to piss him off. She didn't like him, and she'd been vocal about how irritating she found him. I hadn't really noticed, not until the very end when she's said a snotty goodbye to him.

"I'll remind her what your name is."

I grit my teeth together, carefully scooping up the hamburger I'd cooked. I'd chosen to make spaghetti, something I rarely ate. I didn't love the heaviness of it, but Amity might need a few more calories. I'd stared while we walked back to the apartment, trying to figure out how to keep her at the same weight. Pasta seemed like a good start.

"Can I call you later? I'm about to eat dinner." I turn to grab a plate, and there she is, hesitantly walking toward the kitchen. Her damp hair is twisted up into a bun, and her shirt hangs off one shoulder. She must be cold, despite the warm feeling in the air, because I notice she's got leggings and socks on.

"Fine." Rylan relents, and I can tell he's disappointed. "I'll see you…whenever. You know, I'm just…we made plans and I don't like being canceled on."

"I know." I watch Amity wander to my couch, as I plate noodles for her. "I'll see you in the meeting."

I hang up without waiting for him to say anything else. There was no one else in Dauntless who spoke to me like that, or who would have gotten away with wanting to hang out so badly. But Rylan and I had been childhood friends, and our bond was the same. We both had shitty parents, though mine were substantially better than his in a few areas. We'd both picked Dauntless, a surprise to me since he'd never mentioned he was changing factions. I'd had no clue until I saw him running beside me to the train tracks.

He was the only one who knew about my life there, and my closest confidant. And clingiest.

I shake my head as I add the sauce to the plate, making sure she has enough food before I walk it over to her. She looks up at me, and I notice she looks run down.

"Thank you. I could have come over and gotten it."

Amity sits up straighter, pushing her hair out of her eyes and accepting the plate from me. She's grown used to dining on the couch, and she's learned to eat more so I don't yell at her. But tonight, she reverts to her first day here and sets her plate on my coffee table after mere minutes and a single bite.

"Finish your spaghetti."

I hiss the words at her, having no patience tonight. This day had started out fine, but she'd barely eaten lunch, and I'd been too pissy to drag her back in front of Four's class. We'd gone for a run, practiced a few moves outside, then gone home.

"Amity," I snap, waiting for her to eat.

Instead, she lets out a small groan. I watch her watch me as she leans back, shutting her eyes and letting her head fall onto one of the pillows. She looks extra small there, her skin no longer as tan as before, and her body curled up into a ball as exhaustion washes over her.

"I said, finish your spaghetti." I repeat, ready to throw the plate at the wall. But for once, she doesn't listen.

She keeps her eyes shut and shakes her head no.

"I'm too tired to eat."

The sounds that comes out of my mouth isn't anything kind. I sort of growl at her, thoughts of her eating lunch and two bites of her dinner fresh in my mind. I imagine Four, delightfully announcing she looks even skinnier after these two meager meals, and I have to control myself.

She opens one eye at me to check if I'm still there, and when she sees that I am, she closes it.

I lose it.

"Everly." It's the first time I've ever said her actual name, and it comes out sounding utterly, violently vicious.

She shakes her head again. I can see her physically fighting to stay awake, but it's a losing battle. She fumbles for a pillow, and her eyes slip shut. I can see her relax, sinking into the couch as the world around her fades away.

"Are you falling asleep?" I ask her, incredulous that someone would just fall asleep in front of me. I expect her to say something, anything, or to sit back up and power through eating her dinner.

Instead, she mumbles at me, her words quiet and oh so tired.

"You eat the spaghetti."

The sound in my throat is unpleasant, sort of like I'm trying hard to resist throwing her into the chasm or shoving the spaghetti down her throat myself.

She pays no attention, though, for my initiate is sound asleep on the couch.

"Eric!" The voice cheerfully greets me. "How are you?"

I immediately regret calling my father.

After Amity had fallen asleep on the couch, I'd mentally debated what to do. Letting her sleep there didn't seem all that appealing, so I'd taken her plate to the kitchen, neatly wrapped up her abandoned meal, stuck it in the fridge and made the snap decision I'd move her.

I'd stalked over to my couch, willed her to wake the fuck up, and when she didn't, I reached down and slid my hands beneath her.

I picked her up easily.

I'm sure to anyone observing, this would have seemed romantic in nature. In reality, I just didn't want to have to be quiet while she slept out here and her presence would irritate me all night. I kept one arm beneath her knees, and the other under her back, ignoring the fact it wasn't terribly hard to carry her. I held her against me, her head lolling against my chest and her damp hair against my shirt, and I walked slowly until I reached her room. Once there, I kicked the guest bedroom door open with more force than necessary, then refrained from outright tossing her onto the bed.

I managed to push her covers back in some strange act of spontaneously chivalry, then I set her down. I stared at her, wondering if she knew what I had just done, and if she'd realize how out of character it was for me. I could have given two shits if she slept on the floor, but tonight – I had.

Mostly because I wanted her in fighting shape for tomorrow.

To my surprise, she wakes up.

But not entirely.

In fact, her eyes don't even open. But she tries to get comfortable on the bed, reaching for the blankets. She stops suddenly, kicking off her socks and trying to pull off the leggings she had on. Her room is dark, and her shirt is long enough I can't see anything, except her struggling when she's too tired to figure out why she can't get them off.

Sitting up might have helped.

I squinted at her. Lately my apartment had felt hot to me, so there was no way she'd stay asleep dressed like it was snowing outside. I made one more quick and odd decision before I went ahead and yanked her leggings off for her. They were tangled around her ankles, and with my luck, she'd forget they were on and fall face first out of her bed when she got up in the morning. I was careful she didn't wake up to think I was undressing her, but really, I just wanted her to sleep. She clearly needed it, and I wasn't going to stand in her way and deal with a sleep deprived, zombie of an initiate tomorrow.

I threw them on the floor and shut her door on my way out. I'd then gone back to the living room, flipped through my phone, and out of sheer boredom, called my father.

He answered after the second ring, sounding utterly delighted I'd called. I could hear him moving things around, which meant he was working, and I'd already told myself the minute I heard Blythe speak I'd hang up.

"Hey." I answer, and I kick my feet up on the coffee table.

After a casual exchange of forced pleasantries, I finally tell him the reason I've been busy is because I'm training someone. He sounds proud, which is stupid, but I let him sit there and bask in the glow of his son performing this menial task. I find myself idly flipping through the training papers while I talk to him, and distracted, I slip up and mention she's from Amity. He sounds surprised but plays it off well. I halfway listen to him talk while I mark off the boxes on the sheet I have for her.

I read her name at the top of the papers, a number assigned next to it, and plenty of boxes for me to mark.

Everly Carlen, Amity Transfer.

I read her name again.

Everly.

Everly Carlen.

Everly.

Amity.

I hadn't called her by her real name, except for tonight. In fact, calling her Amity worked out well. She responded to it, it was impersonal, and it kept some space between us. Everly sounds far too intimate, the name of a girl I want nothing to do with. I'd only snapped it at her in hopes of waking her up.

So, of course, I read her real name again, stuck on the Everly Carlen for some odd reason, then I shake my head and I mark ten out of ten for her advanced fighting techniques.

"Is she there now? Is she doing well in your class?" Daniel asks me, and I cock my head to the side. I mark nine of out ten for shooting, only because she needed my help for most of it.

"Everly keeps falling asleep. She's asleep now."

I pause, realizing I've officially called her something other than Amity. I try to sound disinterested, bored with her so he won't notice my mistake.

"Does she normally go to bed early?" Daniel morphs into his normal mode of concerned doctor. He waits for me to answer, and I stare to the right of me, where she'd been asleep.

"No. But she's been falling asleep early lately. She might not have it in her to make it through the training." I sound harsh, but it's the truth. I don't know if she'll make it if she can barely keep her eyes open.

"What does she look like?" Daniel pries, and I feel every nerve in my body light up in extreme aversion. He's digging for something here, for some reason. I immediately suspect Blythe is behind it, and I fight off the urge to slam the phone against the wall.

"Why?" I snap. "Do you know her?"

"I don't. I'm only trying to get a visual here. I could just look her up," Daniel quickly responds. I stare at the wall, the blankness, and I sigh.

"She's small. She looks like she's from Amity. And she's always sleeping." I idly throw him a few details, knowing full well the asshole is going to look her up. My trainee isn't a secret, so I don't really care, and this will ruin some of the satisfaction when he tries to find her. "She has dark hair."

That last detail is unnecessary, but it comes out of my mouth before I can stop it. Maybe it's because her hair is dark, too dark.

"Maybe go easier on her. Maybe you're wearing her out." Daniel suggests, and I roll my eyes. Brilliant. I should ask him if he learned that in medical school.

"She's fine. But she won't survive here if she can't make it through the training. I just don't need her falling asleep on my couch every night." I say the last words in disgust, still annoyed that she'd fallen asleep. "We still have a lot of cover."

"Is she eating enough?" My father takes a page out of Four's book, and I decide I'm done with this conversation. I've already offered up too much. "Is she sleeping well? Sometimes sleep deprivation can cause …"

"I have to go. I need to finish some things before I go to bed." I sharply interrupt him. "And she's eating enough. I'm making sure of it."

"Alright. Well, take care, Eric. Keep me updated on her progress."

I don't answer him. I let him sit there, in awkward silence, and I decide I most definitely will not tell him another word about her.

Fuck him and fuck him wanting to know anything about what I'm doing and fuck myself for even calling.

"Right. Goodnight."

I hang up abruptly, fighting down the urge to wake up Everly and make her finish her dinner, just to prove a point.

 

 

 

We only have a week of training left before we start the actual fighting.

Everly stands before me, in theory, the perfect trainee. She's listening to what I'm saying, head cocked slightly to the side, her hands clasped in front of her. Today, her hair is pulled up into a ponytail, yet somehow, half of it has already managed to fall out.

"We'll spend a few hours on knives today. This should be easy if you listen to what I say and do it right. I don't want to waste our day on this, but you're expected to pass this without any problems. So, follow along to what I say, throw the knife where I tell you, and it'll land where you aim it."

I pause, but she doesn't notice.

Her gaze tells me she's mentally miles away, daydreaming about something.

Lovely.

"It better land where I want it to, understood?"

She looks to the left of me, still not listening. I cock an eyebrow at her, and clear my throat, giving her two seconds to get her shit together. I can't figure out what the fuck she's doing, or why she looks like she's not paying attention. "Any questions before we begin?"

"Yes."

To my surprise, the pipsqueak squares her shoulders and stands up straighter, trying to make herself taller. It doesn't exactly work; she's still as small as ever, and she'd have to climb on a chair to be anywhere near my height. "Why haven't I been allowed to have any cake?"

For a second, I have no clue what she's talking about. Then it hits me, she's probably seen someone walking around with a plate of the oversized, overly sugary, overly gooey chocolate cake. I grow exasperated, then annoyed, that she'd dare ask me for dessert.

"I meant questions about the training," I bark at her.

Strangely, she's undeterred.

"I know what you meant. But I also know that you failed to mention Dauntless had cake, and you failed to let me have any. I bet Four's class gets cake."

The words leave her mouth, and to her credit, she looks horrified she's said them. And she should be.

I lunge for her.

"What did you say?" I grab at her wrist and yank her forward one step, then another- until she is flush against my chest. She doesn't look surprised at my actions, but she does look sorry. "Say it again, Amity."

I stare her down, hating her more than ever.

This is my own fault.

I'd gotten complacent with her. I'd gone out of my way to make sure she did well, and I'd been too busy to realize I was letting her exist here, alongside me, as though she were someone important. I didn't think she'd want the stupid cake, for she had seemed fine- one hundred percent fine- with the balanced diet I had offered her and she should be.

So, for some reason, her words make me so angry I can't see straight.

"I…I…" She looks up at me, tripping over her words. "I just want some cake." My grasp on her tightens as I flash back to all the times I'd made her dinner. To all the nutritious meals I'd planned out, making sure she was getting enough of what she needed, helping her.

You know who else was helping her?

No one.

"I swear I heard you mention Four's name."

It's not what I planned on saying. The name tastes nasty in my mouth, and I will lose it if he's offered her anything, especially cake. It hits me like a ton of bricks, a sudden sick feeling that I've missed his little trick. I could see it now, him trying to worm his way closer to her, luring her with something that she'd probably get sick after eating.

"Eric," she says my name, and it sounds strange. She tries to back away, yanking her arm back but she can't. "That was unnecessary. I didn't mean that. I just..." She stops struggling and closes her eyes tiredly. "I thought maybe you just didn't want to share the cake?"

I loosen my grip on her hand immediately.

Of all the things I'd done for her, all the time I'd given up to train her, planning everything around her, and here she is- cranky because I wouldn't want to share cake with her. I can tell she didn't mean to piss me off, and the strange, warm sensation of what I can only assume is regret churns in my stomach.

"I'm sorry," she mumbles, and she chews on her lip nervously. "I just thought…"

She trails off, not wanting to look at me. I'm somewhat oddly relieved when she doesn't back away any further, even though she now could. She stays right in front of me, her chest nearly touching mine.

"Don't say his name again." I warn her darkly, looking above her. She nods, looking up at me with her big eyes, and she stays put. I knew it wasn't really her, but him, and when I see Four, I'll politely remind him to stay the fuck away from her.

I finally step back, frustrated as ever at how this is turning out, and I realize I'll have to add on another day of weapons training if she can't get through today.

I sneer at her, irritated that it's come to this. He's ridiculous.

"Hit all the targets today and you can have your cake."

I only say it to be mean, because I know she won't hit any on her own.

 

 

 

She doesn't.

 

 

"Well, that was pathetic."

I gleefully watch her fail, time and time again, throwing the knives the best she can. Her last attempt is her closest, but it lands to the side of the outlined body, nowhere near where she was instructed to land it.

Her frustration is palpable.

She looks over at me, her eyes wild and angry and hilariously- sort of hurt, and she sighs.

"Will you help me?" She asks, looking up at me in this exasperated, pleading way.

I let her wallow in her self-pity for a moment, then I shrug, mentally debating leaving her here to figure it out on her own. She's far enough ahead that a few hours won't fuck our time completely, but that would give Four a chance to catch up to us. A microscopic chance, but still.

"I suppose I could." I walk over toward her, scowling deeply. "Or maybe Four could help you."

My mocking hangs in the air as I stop behind her. I reach for her without warning, roughly pulling her against me, and I kick one of her legs forward. "Should I go get him?"

She shakes her head. "I said I was sorry."

"Shift forward and tilt your wrist." I bend my head down toward her, closing any ounce of space between us. She swallows, but she unconsciously leans back into me. "Look at your target first."

With my help, she throws the knife easily this time, and it hits a few inches away from the center.

"You can get closer than that." My lips graze her ear, unintentionally, but I want to make sure she knows I don't think she's trying her best. I hold her wrist again, much lighter than before, and I pull her arm back into position. My other hand holds onto her hip, making sure her stance is correct.

After a second, she throws the knife.

When it hits dead center, I shift my weight closer to her, tightening my grip, pleased at her performance.

"Again."

She keeps going. The rest of the hour slides by quickly. With my help, she hits all the targets, and when I'm confident in her ability, I step away from her.

"Keep going?" She asks, pausing only to walk and yank the knife out of the body.

"On your own, Amity."

I pick up the tablet from the table, and I nod when she looks at me to see if I'm ready. I watch, observing her form as she throws the knife by herself, and it lands right in the center of the target's chest.

I say nothing.

She keeps working while I score her, wanting to flunk her for saying Four's name, but I don't. I give her high marks, because she picked up on it quickly, and I close out the tablet when I notice she's slowed down. I can only assume her arm is painful, ready to fall off after hours of practice.

"Grab that knife and bring it here. Then the others. We'll head back in a minute."

She bounces off to pull the knives out of the target. I only watch for a moment before I join her, smirking when I reach over her head to grab the higher ones. She shoots me a daringly dirty look, but I don't mind. I'd almost forgotten about her uttering Four's name, and I decide to chivalrously help her clean up.

Together, the two of us carry the knives back to the table. She neatly begins to put them away, but her head jerks up when a few of the boys from Four's class trickle into the training room. Once again, I'd lost track of time with her, a habit I needed to break. A quick glance at my watch makes me realize it's almost time for us to be done for the day.

"We're done?" She asks, making sure the knives are in order. "Did I pass throwing knives?"

Her question comes as one of Four's initiates, a brave, dumb soul, wanders over to us. He gapes at the targets and the knives stuck in our hands.

"You guys are already on knives?" She and I both look at him, and he's staring at us as though he's never seen us before. "We haven't even finished learning our combat terms." He throws a dirty look back at a few of the guys he came with before he whirls back around to us.

"Why don't we get to train with you?" He juts his chin out in indignation. "She should be over there with him and we should be training with you."

His words are brave, considering I barely have any desire to train Amity, let alone his sorry ass.

"I have no interest in training you. Go back to your instructor and you can discuss your curriculum with him."

My rejection must sting. The look on his face tells me he's realizing the error of his ways, and he backs away slowly.

I wait until he leaves, and when I look over at Amity, she's got a funny, sort of slyly pleased look on her face.

She must realize it, because she suddenly averts her stare, and heads to pick up her water bottle.

 

 

We walk out together, side by side.

She barely, and I mean barely, comes up to my shoulders, but she keeps up with me. When we pass the drinking fountains just outside the doors, I spy Four, and I push her forward a step.

"Go. I'll meet you at the elevators."

She looks confused, but she listens. She takes off, relieved at being done for the day, and I wait until she turns the corner. Then I slow my pace down and stop right next to Four.

"Eric."

He greets me with forced politeness, and I stare him down, wishing I could snap his scrawny neck to the side. It would be easy; no one would be watching this particular section on the cameras, and the way the bone would break would sound pleasant. Sharp. Crunchy. Final.

"Stay the fuck away from my initiate."

I say the words lowly, darkly, and he doesn't like them.

"What are you talking about? I haven't gone anywhere near her." He lies through his teeth, and I shake my head.

"This is the only warning I'll give you. Stay the fuck away from her. She doesn't need, or want, your help." I hiss the words at him, fully ready to bash his head into the wall if he dares to disagree.

Luckily for him, he nods and presses his lips together so tightly they almost disappear.

"Fine." He answers, and he shoves past me to find his own class.

I wait until he vanishes through the doorway before I turn around to head home.


	4. Faction before Blood, just like always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi from Anaheim! 
> 
> Sorry to keep everyone waiting for this update! This has been the longest day of my life, EVER. Next time, I'm bringing a nanny along solely so I can update on time, lol. 
> 
> Major thanks to Bamberlee for editing this chapter for me! 
> 
> Major thanks to all of you guys for reading along and reviewing! I'm having a lot of fun with his POV and I'm happy you're all enjoying it and sharing your thoughts with me. The next update will be next Friday, so read this one slowly ;)

She brushes her hair for what seems like forever, trying to get through the tangles with great concentration even though she looks half asleep.

I watch her intently; she's paying zero attention to me as she struggles, her training outfit on and her shoes laced up, but her hair a disaster. I have to say, it pleases me in a strange way that Amity still looks like Amity. By now, a few of the other initiates have already undergone their extreme and laughable makeovers. Nothing brought me more glee than when one of them – usually the most pierced or the most drastically altered of the bunch, failed out of initiation. They'd look like an absolute idiot once they were factionless, their face pierced multiple times, and their edgy haircuts meaning nothing as they were begging for dinner.

Amity hasn't done anything of the sort. She probably should have gotten her hair cut, because it's a huge vantage point for whoever fights against her. All they'd have to do is grasp a handful and yank her back a step, and she'd be on the ground before she knew what was happening. However, she hasn't asked to do anything like that. Which is fine by me. I have no time to take her on such a trivial errand, so she'll have to settle for trying to comb through it and tying it up.

She finally finishes brushing the knots out, her toast having gone cold and her coffee lukewarm, but she smiles widely when she's done. She leaves it down while she eats, the dark pieces falling down her back, and she looks entirely different than when she's a sweaty mess.

"Will we ever see Lauren's class? Or do they practice elsewhere?"

She stares over at me, her plate now balanced on her lap and a curious look on her face. She was well aware of Four's class. They tried to casually wander over, coming as close as they dared, just to see what she was doing. They didn't like her, and the whispers that came my way were that they thought training with me was special treatment. That she didn't deserve it, mostly because she was from Amity and also because she was female. I'd seen them watch her, hungrily taking in every move she made. They were preparing to take her down, their pack mentality only coming from their mutual dislike of her, waiting until they had a chance to show her who really belonged here.

"Lauren's class usually trains outside." I answer her, eating my own toast and swallowing it down. I hold her gaze for a brief moment, then shrug. "She doesn't like feeling trapped indoors or being compared to Four's class. So, she takes them elsewhere. Her theory is because they're from here, they have an advantage and being outside throws their advantage off. She thinks she works them harder than Four does."

I smirk, knowing we'll run into Lauren at some point.

Or at the very least, I will.

"Do you think they do? Have an advantage, I mean."

Amity stares at me. I've noticed she's not entirely afraid of me, though she should be. Her little spectacle over the cake should have shown her I was in no mood to mess around, yet for some reason unbeknownst to me, she didn't seem to think I'd stay mad at her.

Which was funny.

I was excellent at holding grudges. Maybe I should send her to Four and have her ask him about that.

"No, I do not think they're at an advantage." I answer her flatly, finishing my coffee in one gulp. The Dauntless born should have had a lead over the transfers, since they grew up here, but they were often too arrogant and cocky for their own good. It lead most of them to make dumb, juvenile mistakes that could be easily avoided if they weren't acting stupid. "Are you done? We need to head down there in the next few minutes."

She nods, setting down her own coffee and standing up. The two of us walk to the sink together to set our plates there. She waits while I take hers from her, then scurries off to grab her water.

It's my turn to close my eyes and sigh, for we have plenty to do today, and I'm in no mood to waste any more time.

 

 

The first hour is spent going over the combat terms.

This part of the training irks me. It's pointless, really; she's not going to be asked to recite them at any point and it seems like a strange activity to force her to do. But she does have to know them, and I'd given her the papers to look over when she woke up. In the training room, she spent thirty minutes reading up on them, then took the quiz Four had created himself. It was so dry and bland, that I could only imagine he made it in his spare time, delighted with his intelligence as he decided just what he thought they should know.

I watched her easily write the definitions of the words, then mark down the order of how to start a fight and the proper way to end one's match – by death, preferably, but according to Four it was when your opponent gave up in a moment of weakness. She writes in large, loopy letters a few sentences about how to judge your opponent, then hands it to me with a smile.

That smile is gone a few hours later, when her arms threaten to give out under the weight of the bar.

"Three more," I hiss at her, watching her struggle to raise it back it up. I'd decided to add daily sessions of weight training to her routine, and the first one was brutal. I knew exactly what she was feeling, a hot, burning sensation and an overwhelming feeling of weakness that would cause her to give up, but I ignored it. I needed her stronger, and this would help.

"I'm going to drop it," She gasps, knowing I'm standing right behind her. I give her a few more seconds to prove herself, and when I see her arms start to tremble and the bar sway, I know she's done. They collapse, giving out under the stress of her workout just like I thought they would.

Fortunately, I'm prepared. I catch the bar easily, grabbing it before it lands on her throat.

I hold it in place, my arm far larger and more well defined after years of working out, and I sneer down at her from upside down, very unimpressed with my little weakling of a trainee.

"I guess I'll forgive your cowardice."

"You're too kind," she snaps, her eyes darkening at me. She stays there, trapped underneath the heavy weight until I lift it up the rest of the way. I squint down at her, her black hair pooled around her and her face pale, and I decide to let her up.

"Only for you," I retort, raising the bar and slamming it back into the brackets.

Amity sits up slowly, rubbing at her arms as though it'll help.

It won't.

An hour later, she really looks ready to die when I tell her to head back to the weight bench.

 

 

It's no surprise to me that no one comes to see her on Visiting Day.

I had given her a stern warning to expect it. After all, Amity and Dauntless are almost polar opposites, and most of them hate coming here. They view us as unnecessarily violent, and sometimes, they are correct. I couldn't exactly argue that point, even if we did protect their factions. But Johanna had long held a strange dislike of the Dauntless faction, and it showed. Rarely did they come here, especially to see their transfers.

I'm sure if felt like the ultimate betrayal to see one of their own, preparing to become a part of the warrior faction.

I stalk past as everyone in the Control Rooms mills around, until I find just who I'm looking for.

I take the open seat near Jason, one that's out of the way from the main group. He's got his feet propped up on the desk in front of him, eating his pudding while he watches the Pit with a grimace on his face. His hair is a total disaster, telling me he overslept and rushed into work without actually getting ready.

"Dude, in case you haven't noticed, today fucking sucks. All these weirdos are gonna trash our faction and Max will make me clean it up. Did you see that lady throwing her trash next to the trash can? She's literally standing next to it. She's not even gonna pick it up. Just watch."

I look at him out of the corner of my eye, not at all in the mood for this debate. I've never seen him clean up anything, but then again, I've been busy lately. Maybe Max had demoted him to the janitorial staff without my knowledge.

"You'll live." I mutter, typing a code into the computer. It slowly changes, giving me a closer view of Amity. "They'll be gone soon anyway. And they trash it every year, so it's not like it's a surprise."

"True. Hey, you're going to the meeting today? With Max? The one in like, forty minutes? He said it was important."

I nod, distracted as ever.

I came up here with the sole purpose of finding Amity. I hadn't brought my tablet with me, and I didn't have time to head home and log in. So, I'd chosen to come here, knowing it wouldn't be suspicious at all for me to sit and watch the visitors and pretend I wasn't making sure my trainee wasn't doing something dumb.

To my dismay, I watch as Amity stands there, utterly alone.

The expression on her face, even through the graininess of the security camera, is one of woeful disappointment. She definitely doesn't look so optimistic today, not even when a few people greet her as they pass by. She watches as the families around her shriek and laugh, exclaiming how proud they are of their children before hugging them tightly.

No one says it to her. She cranes her head toward where everyone entered, patiently waiting for someone to walk through and find her. I idly wonder if her brother will show up, but after standing there alone, looking pathetic and lost, she bites her lip and her shoulders dip down as no one does.

She looks around once more before I realize she knows it.

Her family has written her off.

I lean closer to the computer screen, squinting my eyes, and Jason kicks my chair.

"Do you think we'll vote on changing the shift rotation? I really don't want to work weekends. I promised Meghan we'd go that market again, and I hate working nights and if I work nights then I can't go. But if I do go anyway, I'll be tired, and it won't be any fun."

"The shift he's talking about isn't nights and I'm sure we'll vote. Max likes to vote on everything." I remind him, watching as one of the taller initiates purposely knocks into her shoulder. He looks down at her, then throws her a fake, apologetic smile.

I blink.

Jason isn't paying one ounce of attention, so I rewind the security footage, watching it again, just to be sure he really hits her. He does, and to her credit, she throws him a dirty look but doesn't move. I'm surprised to find the urge to storm down there is overwhelming. Even stronger is the urge to find this guy, knock into him, and maybe knock his head into the ground while I'm at it.

She watches him leave, then stands there, still alone.

"I gotta go." I announce.

I stand up abruptly, realizing this is bad. The last thing I need is my trainee in a depressed, downward spiral. She'll suck for the rest of the week if she's sulking that her family didn't come to see her, and I have to stop it before it starts. She's doing alright so far, but that'll come to a halt if she's crying herself to sleep at night.

"Okay, man. See you in a bit."

Jason isn't paying an ounce of attention. He goes back to eating his pudding, changing the cameras to watch the patrol squad outside of Candor and laughing when one of them trips over a branch. I leave the control room in a hurry, ignoring Kacie staring at me from afar, and head down toward the Pit. I take the stairs two at a time, until I reach the pathway I want.

I turn a corner, almost to the elevators when I see her a few steps ahead of me. Her head is bowed down as she walks, and her posture tells me she's pretty miserable after no one showed up to see her. Without thinking, I reach out, grabbing for her shoulder, and I pull her back a step.

When she whirls around, we are face to face, and she stands there not even trying to smile.

I stare at her for a second before clearing my throat.

"They didn't come?"

I watch her carefully. She shakes her head, her eyes locking on mine. I notice they are dark, blinking every so often as she tries to look like she's not at all bothered by it.

"It was probably stupid to think they would."

It's my turn to shake my head, hoping she remembers what I told her. "It's better this way. It's easier to deal with the detachment if they aren't here."

The silent words I should share with her, if I really wanted to cheer her up, were that my own family did not come on Visiting Day. They would have liked to, I'm sure. Daniel would have been annoying, and Blythe would have been obnoxious. Had I been speaking to them, I'm sure they would have been the first ones here. But I'd clearly left them in the dust, and I hadn't even gone down to see if they'd visited.

Jeanine told me they hadn't.

But I don't tell Amity this. She stares at the floor, memorizing my shoes, before shrugging.

"It would just be nice to see someone familiar again." She sounds wistful now, but it's fleeting. As if she knows I'll tell her to snap out of it, she straightens up and forces herself to make eye contact with me. "I think I'm just gonna go back and finish my reading."

I don't say anything; I stare at her, my brain ticking off all the reasons why this aggravates me. She shouldn't be too insulted her family isn't here, because logically they wouldn't want to set foot in Dauntless. She chose to change factions, and she shouldn't expect them to follow after her, just to see how she's doing. But her forlorn expression, and the way she stood there, totally alone, keep appearing in my mind.

I finally sigh when I realize I have no choice but to let her go home. My meeting, the one Jason had mentioned, now starts in thirty minutes. I have no time to do anything, except head toward my office to grab the files I need to bring.

"I'll be there in a bit. Start on the next chapter if you can."

She agrees easily, silently walking away from the noises drifting up from the Pit. I stand there while she waits for the elevator and steps in, all without ever looking back.

 

 

I try not to speak to anyone while I storm back down the hallway. Jason was right, today did suck. He might as well have added that Visiting Day should win for one of the most obnoxious events we have here.

I stalk through the Pit, glancing around quickly to see if I can find the kid who tried to purposely take out my initiate, watching a few from Four's class notice my arrival. They step back, afraid to come any closer, and I make sure I don't look at any of them.

My plan is a total loss on my end. While still humming with people, the crowd has thinned, and gone is the brave boy who wanted to show off.

I turn on my heel to head out, and I'm stopped by a woman with a determined look on her face.

"Excuse me, sir. You're a leader here, aren't you?"

I glare at her, making sure she knows I'm in no mood to talk, but she's stupid.

"I'd like to speak with you for a moment. I'm having an issue with my son having a disadvantage here. You see," she pauses, pursing her lips and daring to narrow her eyes at me. "He's being trained by one of the backup instructors. I'd like him transferred to a more advanced class. Something more challenging. He said this isn't as hard as he expected and he's a little bored."

I blink at her.

"What his name?" I ask, my tone steely as I eye her up and down. Every fiber in my being is ready to beat the kid into the ground for thinking this is easy, but hey- he is in Four's class.

She immediately notices my agitation, and the way she tilts her head and unpurses her lips shows she's aware she may have overstepped her boundaries.

"Dean." She finally answers, and I sneer at her, my stare cold enough to freeze her in place.

"Noted."

She must realize she's sealed her son's fate, because she blinks, no longer as brave as she thought she was. "I was thinking maybe your class."

"I'm not your son's instructor and I never will be. But I'll make sure to tell them he'd like more of a challenge."

I turn around before she can answer, because I don't have the desire to deal with this.

 

 

Our meeting is disastrous.

I have little patience for Max's disorganization, and even worse, no one else is prepared.

Harrison's speech on where exactly we should be increasing security is a garbled mess, pieced together as he suddenly remembers things. Interwoven is a rant about how sloppy our uniforms are looking, with an added bonus of his thoughts on how many breaks people are taking.

I sit there, reclined back in my chair, chewing on a pen and wondering how on Earth he still works as a Leader.

Across from me, Jason is slowly dying, sighing every thirty seconds and counting the ceiling tiles.

"I, too, think we should take more breaks. I read a theory about how people do better when they work four hour shifts. After the sixth hour, productivity crashes. Proven facts."

"I said, less breaks. You spend more time fucking around with the vending machines than you do working." Harrison puts his hands on his hips, and he looks down at Jason with a look that tells me Harrison has been observing him for a while.

"It ate my card. I had to wait for maintenance to come and fix it. Excuse me for wanting to get my chips." Jason retorts, and he looks at me. "Those chips were for Eric, you know. He loves chips."

"No, I don't." I reply, wondering if anyone has anything of value to contribute. "I would never eat anything that comes from a vending machine. Now can we get back on track? I have shit to do."

"Speaking of which, how is Everly doing?" Max turns to me, smiling over the conference room table, completely delighted at how this meeting was progressing. "She seems to be acclimating well."

On his words, every head in the room turns to look at me, not an uncommon occurrence. I was usually the only one able to keep us on track, but for once, I have zero desire to discuss the subject at hand.

"She's fine."

"Fine?" Max asks, clearly expecting me to elaborate. "Is she doing well? I saw her the other day and she looked a little tired."

"She is tired." I coolly answer, and Rylan frowns.

"Why are you training her?" Tori interrupts and she eyes me suspiciously. "Is she with you all the time? Or does she train with the others? Why does Eric have one initiate?"

"She's training exclusively with Eric." Max answers, and he raises an eyebrow when Tori shifts forward in her seat. "This is a unique situation. Four brought her to me, concerned she'd be killed before the initiation got under way because she was the only female. After careful consideration, we decided to remove her from the class and have her trained by herself."

"That definitely doesn't seem fair," Tori protests, her dark eyes throwing daggers at me. "She's removed from all the stress of initiation. She isn't getting the same…"

"I think training with Eric would be considered more stressful." Rylan interjects, and he throws her an equally annoyed stare. "Would you rather have Eric train you or Four? Because I think Eric is working harder than Four right now."

I grow irritated, bristling at his defense. I certainly don't need him sticking up for me, especially over Amity, but no one seems to think anything of it.

"She's being held to a higher standard than Four's class. She's being held to my standards and who I think should stay here.'" I spit at Tori, and she finally gets the hint.

"Whatever. Not my business, so I guess, go have fun with your trainee."

I stare her down until she looks away, then I turn to listen as Max stands up.

"Alright, back on track people. We need a few volunteers to go to Amity. In the next few weeks, we'll be implementing a new security routine, and I'd like to place the hint that they'll be getting more surveillance. Johanna wasn't very open to it the last time, so this will be nothing more than a polite visit to warm her up."

I tune him out.

I glance down at my phone, reading the time, and wondering what Amity is doing. Leaving her alone in my apartment wasn't a huge worry. By now, she knew what she could and couldn't touch, and there was little doubt that she'd taken advantage of the quiet time. Hopefully.

I stare at the phone again.

There's a message from Ashley on there, and I debate over viewing it. I finally cave in, sliding the message open, and I'm rewarded with her shareable calendar. She's scheduled me to come visit her, this weekend, and the invitation flashes in a demanding manner.

I close it without answering.

Amity and I will be training this weekend. The other classes might get days off, but she doesn't. She'll need the extra practice time, and while Ashley's offer is beyond appealing, I simply can't chance it. I can't sacrifice a few hours anywhere, and while Amity is fine to go home and read for a few hours while I sit here, I'm not leaving her behind while I leave the faction completely.

My phone vibrates again, and this time, it's Rylan.

_Where is your initiate? Did you leave her with Four?_

I look over at him, narrowing my eyes when he makes eye contact across the table, and I shake my head ever so slightly.

 _Fuck no. She went home to read. I gave her plenty to do._ -I answer quickly, knowing full well what's coming next. I'm right, of course. He asks if I want to come with him and Jason to Clyde's for a drink, and against my better judgement, I accept.

 

 

I stay at Clyde's far later than I'd planned.

I'd meant to have a single drink and head straight home, but Rylan used his time wisely, excitedly telling us he was sort of seeing someone, though he never said her name. Or maybe he did, and I missed it. I was too busy toying with my phone, wishing I had a way to check up on Amity. I was hoping she was being productive, but who knew what she was doing. For all I knew, she was staring my dishes, or she'd fallen asleep in the shower.

Before I could blink, it was nearly six, and we hadn't even ordered dinner. I politely bowed out, realizing Amity wouldn't have eaten without me, and I left despite my friends' protests. I placed a quick order with Quinten, hating that I'd succumbed to utilizing him, but whatever. It was late, and Amity needed to go to bed soon.

My walk home is quick and enjoyable, up until I'm interrupted by a lone, suspicious looking Lauren.

"Where is she?"

Dark eyes roam all over me, feeling strangely possessive considering she and I have crossed paths only a few times. While she didn't think Four was anything great, she didn't particularly care for my methods either, probably because they make hers look like shit. But tonight, she looks different, sort of hungry and feral, as if she's been waiting to see me.

I barely look at her.

"Who?" I answer, not bothering to slow down.

She walks after me, her boots loud on the stairs.

"Your initiate. I've heard all kinds of things about her and I wanted to see if they were true. Why she gets to train with just you."

The look I throw her is dark and full of disdain. It was clear the faction was forming a slow, unique obsession with Amity. Everyone wanted to know about her, where she was, what she was doing, and why she got to do it.

"Where is she, Eric?"

I don't answer her.

Amity is my business, and my business alone.

 

 

To my utter delight, I return home to her reading.

Her head is bent down as she pours over a book, her eyes glued to the pages. She's positively silent, only glancing up once when I walk by. I could only imagine she was lost in the heavy tome she'd found, a book that had absolutely nothing to do with her training nor what I'd given her to read.

"Eat up." I stop next to her, her plate in my hand. When I look down at what she'd chosen from my bookshelf, I can't help but laugh to myself. "I don't believe that's what you're supposed to be reading."

"Do you really think dinosaurs once ruled the land?" She takes the plate from me and settles back against the couch. "I feel like that's made up."

With that, she takes a bite of the meatloaf I'd ordered Quinten to make, patiently waiting for my answer.

I merely raise an eyebrow at her.

She'd been reading a book on dinosaurs. It wasn't exactly anything I'd consider easy reading; the writing was more scientific than tragic tale of what happened to them and the chapters were long. But I really shouldn't complain. It kept her busy, and I should give her points for choosing something worthwhile.

"Did you have another meeting?" She asks, and I notice she looks less forlorn than before. It might be my imagination, but she looks better, having been away from the visiting families for some time now.

"No, I got stuck trying to explain to some dumb fucks and their families why I'm not their instructor." I take a bite of my dinner, grimacing at the memory. Dean's mother was fresh in my mind, her face clear as day. The woman had finally got it when I left, realizing she may have just ruined her son's chances at staying here.

To my surprise, Amity looks like she's trying not to laugh. Her lips turn up, the sight not entirely unpleasant.

"Sorry." She offers up, and I roll my eyes.

"Don't be," I mutter, dropping my stare to my plate. I examine the food, wishing I'd been home to make something better than this for her and I. I focus on the mashed potatoes until they blur together with the meatloaf, and when I get the funny feeling I'm being watched, I look up.

She's staring.

"Are you done?" I don't snap at her, but I don't sound nice. She's only eaten about half of what's on her plate, but it's more than she ate yesterday. She nods her head once, and I reach out to take her dinner from her. I'm not entirely hungry myself, so I can't really say much. I head to the kitchen, putting my leftovers away, and reaching for the last plate Quinten had given me.

I debate for a second, feeling like my skin is two sizes too small.

My neck itches and my head hurts, but I give into myself, realizing she'll do much better after tonight. I'll make sure of it.

I walk over to the couch with the last plate in my hand, and I stop right in front of her. Her nose is once again buried in the same book as before, and her posture tells me she's lost in the world of T-rexes and brachiosaurus'.

"Here."

She jumps when I bark at her, tearing her gaze away from the riveting description of a T-rex killing it's prey. It takes her a second to realize what I'm holding, something I'd never order for myself, not in a million years.

I straighten up, spine turning to steel and my jaw tightening, as her face breaks into a rare, surprised smile.

"Thank you!"

She all but gasps the words, little Amity utterly delighted with what's before her. She takes it from me gratefully, pulling it closer to her and I realize her eyes are very green. Dark, deep, sort of emerald colored, and far prettier than I'd noticed before. I stupidly realize she's happy, over the moon at the rich and sugary chocolate cake before her.

I've never seen her look like this.

It's a strange sight, her expression one I'm not used to seeing on the people around me.

After a second, I storm off, trying to forget what she looks like.

 

 

The next few days pass quickly.

Amity keeps working hard, and as a reward, I don't make her feel like dying quite as much. I give her the smallest breaks possible, squeezing in everything I can teach her in the small amount of time we have together. I try not to leave her alone, giving her zero chances to make a friend who'll distract her, but it's for her own good.

Four's class has taken a very vested interest in her.

There were a few brave ones who'd learned she wasn't always with me. I didn't accompany her to the water fountain, and I rarely stood in line with her while she picked out her lunch. It was then they appeared, rising up and slithering toward her.

Not to be her friend, and certainly not in an attempt to win her over.

It was to find her weakness.

They eyed her up and down, their stares lingering over her like hungry dogs.

They wanted to take her down, and they were waiting for their chance to figure out how.

It was why I choked down whatever Quinten had found on his recipe of the day calendar, and it was why I sat close to her, eyeing them with as much disgust as I could. I made sure they knew they'd be messing with me if they messed with her. They mostly got the hint; a few smiled at her when she walked by, not even nervously- just politely. Some nodded. But none of them dared sit with her, and not a single one tried to find out where she went after her training was done.

But they were catching on, their agitation growing along with Four's.

Today had been one of those days.

Four's class kept crossing our path, as though he'd purposely changed his schedule to try and match mine. My own frustration increased with every hour; my goal had been to keep Amity entirely separated from his class, never giving them a chance to see where she was at. I wanted them to be screwed when they realized she knew what she was doing, but I couldn't do that when Four paraded them back in every fifteen minutes.

By the early afternoon, I was over it.

Amity and I went to work out. She'd looked ill when I reminded her we still had a weight session to get through, but luckily for her- it was leg day. Then of course, we left well before I planned, because Four showed up, his rag tag group of initiates behind him.

On the walk home, I explained she'd have to study tonight. We'd eat dinner first, but then I needed her to go over everything we didn't do today in preparation for tomorrow. She had a whole section on fighting defenses she needed to read through, and tomorrow, she'd be scored against an actual partner.

She'd listened.

After we ate, I pulled out my laptop, side eyeing the 236 emails that were unread, and Amity pulled out the books I'd given her. She read in silence, her head propped up under her hand, while I worked through my emails.

Most were nothing major.

I reply to Arlene's inquiry about scheduling an appointment for Amity, and I tell her whenever is fine with me. She'll need to be vaccinated, per Jeanine's new protocol, and she'll need to have an evaluation to make sure it's worth our while to have her continue training. Arlene replies immediately, asking how it's going, and I ignore her.

She irritates the living fuck out of me.

Next to me, Amity must feel the same way, because she sighs heavily.

"Is that book boring you, Amity?" I turn my head to look at her, staring until she looks up at me. She's been in the same spot since we finished dinner; sitting right beside me, her feet curled beneath her, reclined back against the couch.

"It's just a lot of information to try to remember." She eyes me warily, assuming she's on thin ice. I like when she shakes her head and flips the page over, and I can tell she's trying to focus so I won't ask her anything else.

So, I slide closer to her.

In reality, she's not all that far away from me, having grown used to sitting on my couch, and she doesn't look up at all. I smirk at her concentration, then I reach over and yank the book right out of her hands.

She won't be bored on my time.

"I wasn't quite finished." She cranes her head up, trying hard to keep a neutral expression on her face. She fails at it, looking nervous when I stand up, tossing the book on the table.

"I think we should get started tonight." I make the snap decision of why put off tomorrow what we can do today. The training room will be empty, and this is the perfect time to practice without Four taking notes in his diary. "Get a leg up on tomorrow's lesson."

She stares beside me, her gaze glued to the wall.

"Maybe you could just help me go over the next chapter."

This isn't the knives all over again. Her voice is not at all snappy or snarky. She sounds and appears visibly nervous, and she swallows when I lean over her, placing one arm on either side of her before leaning into her. Unplanned, my cheek grazes against hers ever so slightly, and I notice she smells good.

Probably far better than Four's initiates.

"Orders are not options here." I keep my voice low, refusing to let her have her way. She's not about to sit and sigh over the work I've given her to do, especially not now. But I've learned Amity isn't like the others, and she knows we're working toward the same goal.

Which is why she'll be fine practicing through the night.

"So, follow me."

I stand up, my cheek touching hers again as I pull away from her, having kept myself as close as possible. I've found I rather enjoy invading her personal space, because here, in my apartment, she has none. Besides, it only seems fair. She's taken over my life, so I'll take over hers.

I smile gleefully when she stands up, her book long forgotten.

"Got it," she answers, her voice sounding higher than normal. She flashes me a big smile, one she makes sure I see, as she heads into her room to find her shoes.

 

 

She's screwed.

I watch as her head hits the mat, and she groans, closing her eyes tightly. She only stays down a second, before forcing herself up, but it's glaringly obvious that little Amity needs work.

For the past few hours, I'd had her practice fighting against me.

She was still nervous, and she should be. I could easily snap her neck. I could easily knock her out. And I could very easily hurt her, especially if she wasn't paying attention. She was at an unfair disadvantage based on her sheer size alone, but she'd tried her best to make up for it.

Unfortunately, as of now, she wouldn't stand a chance. She was predictable. Every move showed on her face, and it was almost entertaining when I punched back at her.

"You ready for some real fighting?" I stand before her, having long lost my jacket and t-shirt. I'd kept on the tank shirt I'd worn today, preparing to get a good workout in while she fought. But so far, this was starting to bore me, and she'd be screwed the minute she fought against anyone else.

"Amity?" I call out again, and she shakes her head, trying hard to remember the defensive stance I'd taught her.

"No," She answers, and she looks like she might throw up.

"You aren't even trying." I call out, and I roll my eyes.

"I am, too! You've just got a few years practice on me. How am I even supposed to get close enough to try and hit you?" She blurts out the words, her frustration laughable, but she manages to catch me off guard. While I'm blinking at her, she lunges forward, and punches me in the side.

I stare down at her.

There is a look of fresh panic on her face, realizing she's done nothing of any value. I decide it's time to stop messing around, because no one is going to give her a second chance. I take a half a step backward before making my way back to her. She makes eye contact with me, and that's her first mistake. My first punch hits her stomach, and the second hits her side. The look on her face is priceless, and I doubt anyone has ever punched her before. She swallows heavily, trying to stop the burn of the blow, and she hunches over.

"Fuck."

I smirk at her. I've learned she swears here and there, and for some reason, it amuses me. I look back at her, still hunched over, and I know she'll need a second to recover, even though I'd barely hit her hard enough to knock the wind out of her. I turn to give her a moment, and then, a sharp flash of pain comes out of nowhere as she kicks the right side of my knee.

I'm marginally impressed.

Her timing isn't terrible, and her placement is off, but it works.

I stagger forward, my balance thrown off as I attempt to turn around and go after her. My intent was to teach her a lesson, but unfortunately, I find myself crashing down over her as my knee protests. Of all the things that could possibly happen, I wind up taking her down with me.

She hits the mat for the hundredth time, her head smacking into it and mine nearly smacking into hers, leaving her trapped beneath me. Her tiny body is warm beneath mine, and she doesn't react at all. For a long second, neither of us moves, not even to breathe. I finally press myself up, my legs holding her in place and my hips perfectly in line with her own, and I glance down at her.

She's splayed out beneath me, her lips parted and her eyes on mine. I have to admit- the visual is nice. She's not bad to look at, and my body begins to register the pleasant feeling of her between my legs, thinking this is something else.

It isn't.

"Are you ready to stop playing?" I hold her stare, noticing she's staring up at me. I'd caught Four staring at her the same way, which was shitty for him, considering he'd never come near her if I had my way.

"Get off me." She eventually mumbles, full of bravery and probably unable to breathe with my weight on her.

I smirk down at her.

I lazily push myself up completely, feeling the cold air of the training room, and I let her scramble to her feet on her own.

"Again, Amity."

 

 

I call Rylan once Amity falls asleep.

We'd practiced late into the morning, her form getting somewhat better until she was able to get a few punches in. We stopped when her eyes glazed over, and I knew she wouldn't benefit from this training session anymore. Then she blearily trailed home after me, stumbling into her bedroom without saying goodnight.

He sounds confused, mostly because of the incredibly late hour, but even more so when I mention I need help.

"What did you say? Are you sure?" He grumbles, somewhere between asleep and awake, trying to make sense of what I'd just asked. "You want me to ask her?"

He sounds surprised, especially when I mention a name I swear I've heard him utter, but he agrees.

Reluctantly.

"I'm sure she'll help." He mumbles, and I would bet almost everything I own she's right there next to him.

"Have her be there early and tell her not to be late."

"Um, when? Like in two hours? Is it early?" I hear him fumble with something, then he goes quiet. "Eric?"

"After breakfast. I won't need her for very long." I answer.

He agrees again, and I hang up before he can ask me much more.

 

 

"Christina. Thanks for joining us."

I greet her smoothly, taking in her standoffish appearance. Calling in a favor to the girl my friend was sort of sleeping with wasn't ideal, but after last night, I needed Amity to fight someone else. Christina wasn't my first choice, but she was the best I could come up with. They were both roughly the same size, though Amity was still shorter. But I'd seen Christina fight, and give up, and I knew she'd be just what Amity needed to practice again.

"What exactly do you need Eric?" Christina asks me, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "Your instructions weren't particularly clear."

I glance over at my initiate, examining her intently. She stares back, tired after having fought against me all night, but mostly awake, and I'm pleased. She had potential, and this fight would show me just how much.

"I need you to fight her."

The look on her face is priceless. Christina groans and shakes her head. "No. I can't help you there."

I regret my decision immediately. Rylan had warned me that involving Christina in anything might not go as planned. I wasn't worried. She and I had a history, and she knew she I wouldn't put up with her shit. I silently remind her I have no qualms about hanging her over the chasm -again, for her disobedience-by giving her a cold, fake smile and staring her down. I couldn't quite see what Rylan saw in her, but it wasn't enough to make me like her. "It's not a request, it's an order. I need to see how she fights against someone other than me."

Christina's eyes widen, and she turns to Amity. "You fought against Eric?"

She nods silently.

"I'm surprised you're walking today." Christina gapes at her, frantically searching for proof of our fight. I know this, because her stare lingers on Amity's arms and neck. I wait for her examination to end, growing bored when Christina keeps looking for invisible proof.

She won't find any.

"I'd like to get started today, initiates."

Christina throws me a daringly dirty look. "You know I'm a member of Dauntless, right. An actual member. Not an initiate anymore."

I ignore her and motion toward the mat. I'll give her two more seconds before I have her used as target practice.

Luckily for her, she gets the hint. She exhales a huff of exasperation and finally throws Amity one final sympathetic glance.

"Fine."

I stop Amity as she starts to head toward the mat, grabbing her arm and pulling her closer to me. Her head tilts up immediately, and she waits for my instruction.

"I have a meeting I have to go to, but I'll watch you fight, and you will be scored on this. Don't be sloppy and don't forget what I showed you. I expect you to keep fighting her. When you're done, eat your lunch and then come back here, nowhere else. Got it?"

"Got it."

She answers easily and bounces over to face off against Christina.

I watch them sternly, not letting my attention move from them until my phone vibrates. I ignore it, until it vibrates again, then again, and again.

They get started, and Christina's hesitance is strange. I wonder if she's trying to make Amity look good, but to my delight, Amity starts right in on her. I'm even more pleased when Amity remembers everything we went over, managing to land the first few blows. I turn around and pull the phone out, still buzzing, and I realize I'll have to leave much sooner than planned.

The message is from the last person I wanted to see today, but I knew I had to.

Jeanine.

 

 

She's as emotionless as ever.

She reminds me a lot of Blythe, though a smarter and more powerful version. She sits next to me, showing me a report on the statistics someone had analyzed for her, showing percentages of divergence over the years. The graph is at an incline, and this greatly displeases her.

"We," she pauses, having emphasized the word 'we', "have been working hard to fix this problem. These people don't fit into our society, and you agree, don't you?"

"Yes, I do."

I stare at her screen, catching sight of my reflection in it. I don't look thrilled, and I'm not. We'd been working on this project for a while, but my interest had waned sharply once I'd taken on training Amity. I still agreed with her ideals; I liked things neat and orderly, and I was a firm believer that the rules were in place for a reason. Divergents were of no use to us, and they didn't fit in anywhere. I just simply didn't have the time. Jeanine expected me to answer her immediately, something that no longer worked when I was busy all day and all night.

Beside me, Jeanine frowns.

"Have you looked over the newest ones? These last results? I've been waiting your report, but I haven't seen it yet."

To her credit, she is all business. Despite being related to me, she's never come here and spoken of our family ties. She simply arrives, demands answers, and leaves when she's been placated.

"I haven't. The list was incomplete."

"What?" Her head jerks over to me, and her eyes flash angrily. "Ashley has been working on it…"

"It only goes through T. I need the rest of the report if you want all of them."

She sits back in her chair, annoyance dripping from her gaze. "Fine. I'll call her and have it sent to you."

"Great." I answer, uninterested in either of them. The report was incomplete, or maybe there were none after T. Either way, I need her off my ass for a second. "What time are you staying here till?

I glance at my phone, realizing she's been sitting here for close to two hours. Amity had to be done fighting by now, and I'm sure Christina had taken her to the mess hall. There was no way she'd miss the chance to grill her for info on what we were doing, especially unsupervised.

"As long as needed."

Jeanine furiously types away on her phone, presumably ripping Ashley apart for her mistake, and I use her distraction to my advantage. I log into the security cameras system, and I click on training room, idly wondering if my initiate was back. After a second, the screen adjusts to fit my phone, and there she is.

Fighting someone in Four's class.

Exactly the opposite of what I wanted her to be doing.

I bite down the fury rising up in my throat, when I realize she's doing fairly well. Then she pauses, saying something to the guy she's been paired up with, and he responds by punching her right in the head. I keep my expression neutral as she staggers backward, knocked off balance by the blow.

I wait for her to recover, my hands tensing into fists.

But before she can, the boy seizes the moment and lets loose on her.

The pent-up aggression is obvious as he hits her in the stomach. It's not entirely all her that's driving him; I know he's probably stressed beyond belief, ready to snap at a moment's notice. Amity is just the closest thing to him, and his rage is on full display the moment she collapses. He takes the opportunity to climb on top of her and hold her down, punching as hard as he can. To her credit, she struggles to regain control, her form barely visible beneath his.

I stand up when he starts to punch wildly, and it's clear she won't be getting up any time soon. I swallow heavily, waiting for Four to fucking notice what's going on, but he doesn't appear to be paying attention.

Figures.

"I'll meet you later."

"What?" Jeanine's voice is like ice, the same tone I'd use to express my own disapproval. She looks up at me, her sharp hair barely moving.

I don't answer her.

I tear out of the room, on autopilot, heading straight for the training room.

 

 

I see red.

I stalk down the hallway as quickly as possible, my body primed to kill the first person who dares to try and stop me. Amity's instructions were to stick to her own training, but I can't fault her entirely. It was admirable she was keeping busy, trying to keep ahead of her competition, and she probably felt obligated to join alongside Four's class.

It doesn't take me long at all to reach the training room. I throw the doors open and burst through, just in time to see the boy holding her down.

By her throat.

"You think you're so special because you've got Eric to train you."

I hear his words echo across the room, like he's said them in slow motion. They are full of desperation and hate, aggression and fear. His face is bright red and sweaty, and his glazed expression tells me he's lost it. This boy is gone, having given in to the pressures of survival, and there's no coming back.

Four notices at the same time I do.

He looks up from the partners he'd been watching, and he spies the chaos at the exact same time he realizes I'm there. His eyes darken, slight panic appearing when he grasps that his initiate is intent on murdering mine, right under his watch. He takes off immediately, leaving behind the boys he was working with to stand there and gape at the scene before them.

I reach the kid first.

I grab the boy by the neck, my fingers tightening around his windpipe and I rip him off Amity as though he weighs nothing. He howls in protest, struggling and yelling for me to let go as my hand tightens, and Four reaches for him. He's a second too late; he grabs at my arm, knowing the outcome of this doesn't bode well for the boy, and tries to pry him away from me.

"Eric," Four says my name firmly, trying to get me to loosen my grip.

The rage that fills me is blinding hot, even more so when I realize Amity hasn't gotten up. She's lying flat on the mat, her head at a funny angle, and she gasps for air every time she tries to take a deep breath.

My fingers dig into the boy's throat, forcing a strangled noise out of him, as Amity opens her eyes and she manages to focus her stare on me.

I drop him immediately.

He hits the mat with a thud, and Four yells something pointless. I stare at her, and when her eyes close, I realize there's a real chance this kid hurt her.

I step on his hand as I walk over to her, ignoring both his yelp of pain and the crunchy crack of his fingers, and I stop beside her.

She doesn't move, but her chest rises slowly, as the world around her fades.

I say her name, the word spilling out of my mouth before I can stop myself, as she loses consciousness.

Her real name.

Everly.


	5. Awake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI! Happy Friday!
> 
> I have to say, that felt like the longest wait to update, EVER, even for me. I hope everyone had a great week and has some fun stuff planned for this weekend. This chapter is all sorts of fun, and the next one is even more exciting. (And insanely long.)
> 
> Thanks again for following along and reviewing. See you all in a week ;)
> 
> Thanks so much to Bamberlee for editing <3

"He's done."

I snarl the words at Four, never hating him more than right now. The urge to drag him out of here alone with his initiate is strong, but I restrain myself. To me, this is just another example of his worthlessness. He thought he was so great, so above the rules I'd put in place- yet here she was, right in front of his face, and he allowed this to happen.

"You hear me?" I bark at him while I bend down to grab Amity's wrist, sliding my fingers around to make sure she's still alive. When I'm convinced she's got a pulse, I scoop her up for the second time since she's arrived in Dauntless, though this time, she's far more lifeless.

"Eric, he didn't-"

"No." I interrupt him, staring him down. Four and I have a nasty history, and this certainly doesn't help it. "This is on you. If she doesn't wake up, you and I will be doing more than talking."

He blinks.

I know the exact way to get under his skin, and I've hit the exact nerve I wanted. His jaw tenses and he looks down at his own initiate, panting on the ground like he's the one who was attacked. I can see the guilt building, the slow burning realization of this looking like he let her get hurt, all when he'd been so convinced I was the one who'd harm her.

"He's out, Four. Take his name off your list."

It's the last thing I say to him. I take off toward the infirmary without waiting for him to answer.

 

 

He follows us.

Of course.

He hurries after me, keeping up as though she's his initiate who I've stolen away, and we only lose him when the crowd at the desk is too large for him to get through. He's too polite to shove through them, and his frustration is evident when they ignore him, taking up all the free space in the lobby. They're a large group, a patrol squad with all sorts of injuries that appear to be rather bloody and wet, and I make a mental note when one loudly mentions they had encountered the factionless. Every single one of them is vying for the receptionist's attention, demanding medical attention as soon as possible, and Four can't get around them.

I plow right through them.

They part the way for me, and I stalk past, right by the squeaking girl I recognize from one of the training classes. She yelps for me to stop and sign in, but there's zero authority behind her words. One dark glare is all it takes before she ducks back down to her desk, frantically typing away and pretending I'm not skipping the line. I head straight back into the deepest part of the infirmary, knowing exactly where I'm going and not stopping until I get to the door I want.

I kick it open, not bothering to knock -or even able to, and I step through like I own the place.

"Excuse me?"

The voice snaps at me, eyes glaring up at me from behind the desk, then they change when they realize it's me.

"Get me a nurse."

I hiss the words impatiently, and she nods, not at all willing to tell me to go back to the lobby and wait for the next available appointment. The woman scrambles up from the desk, holding the door open and leading me toward a bed off to the side.

I came here looking for Arlene: head of the nursing staff, ruler of the underworld, and all-around pain in my ass. I was willing to sacrifice interacting with her because I knew she'd be willing to check on Amity, and even better- she'd keep her out of the main triage. Hell must have frozen over, because for once- she wasn't here, but her assistant was. I set Amity down on the bed she's pointing at, letting go of her gracelessly, but only because Four has appeared, having finally learned how to say 'excuse me'.

"Eric! Look, I can't just kick him out because he attacked her. Initiates are attacked all the time." His protest grates on my nerves, and the way his shoulders creep up tell me he's not taking this lightly. He glances down at Amity quickly, then jerks his stare back to me. "It's a risk they take coming here. That's why we separated her from-"

"Are you saying you knew they'd attack her and you still had her join your class? Wasn't your whole worry that she'd get hurt if she stayed with you?" I glower at him, so livid I could lose my shit right here. I take a step forward, enjoying the way there is the slightest flinch in his posture. It's more from my words than anything, but it's there. "And after all that, you knowingly invited her over? Was this part of your plan? To prove she wouldn't last? To make it seem like I couldn't keep her alive?"

My words are growled at him, so dark and vicious that he should just walk away before this escalates.

"No." He backpedals, his hand grabbing the rail at the end of the bed before he gives up and retreats even further. Behind me, there is a flurry of activity as a slew of nurses tend to Amity. I hear them muttering to each other, something about a possible concussion and a large bump on her head, and someone yells to close off this area. They say her name, and she sort of groans, but I don't turn around. "Eric, listen to me."

"I'm done listening to you," I bark at him, and he holds up both hands.

"I wanted to help her," Four lies loudly. "I paired her up with someone who was her size. Someone who she could fight again without-"

"What the fuck were you thinking?!" I take a step away from him, done with the mere sight of him. "I told you to stay away from her."

"I didn't think he would attack her like that. I told him it was just a practice!" Four answers angrily. His voice wavers between sounding horrified and sounding irritated, and I know he's struggling with what happened.

I don't care.

I blame him.

"She's not your initiate!" I roar at him, ignoring the nurses watching us with large, concerned stares. One nurse stops behind him, listening to everything with a curious look on her face. She backs away when Four sighs and looks at me darkly. For a minute, I think he's gotten the hint, because he looks guilty. Really guilty.

Then he opens his mouth again.

"Yeah, well you were off somewhere else. I didn't want her to miss out on any training."

My hands ball into fists, ready to smash his face in. How dare he? How fucking dare he act like I just left her behind and he was valiantly helping out. "I was in a meeting with Jeanine, not off having a fucking party! And she's perfectly fine in her training. She doesn't need your help."

Four yells something back, his frustration losing out to the swarm of people now rushing past us. One stops, standing between us, her head cocked to the side and her uniform streaked with blood. Her name badge reads 'Kelly' and she's unfamiliar to me.

"Hey! You get back in bed!" The nurse calls out, frowning over Four and I. "You two need to keep it down. There are other patients here, you know."

"Have this man escorted out." I point at Four, then I turn on my heel to make sure Amity's still alive. I catch sight of her sitting up, woozily trying to climb off the bed. I'm in front of her instantly, grasping her arms to hold her steady on the bed as she makes the brilliant decision she's fine enough to get up and leave.

"What are you doing?" I sound furious, livid at her, but I'm not really. Truth be told, when I watched the video, I had felt a rage I've never felt before, and I was starting to think it wasn't just because she'd lost her fight. When I look down at her, she blinks a few times, then her eyes flick to the side of me as Four appears.

"Everly, I'm so sorry. I didn't think James would go after you like that." Four's mouth twists downward, probably thinking about how terrible it'll be when she realizes he set her up. "He'll be appropriately disciplined, don't worry."

I roll my eyes, and my fingers tighten slightly around her arms. She's still sitting there, staring up at me, but she looks dazed. Her green eyes are glassy, and I can only assume she won't entirely remember what happened to her.

"Go the fuck away, Four." I don't look at him. Amity tries to smile, either out of sympathy or at my words, and I shake my head at her. Four still doesn't get the hint, and he takes another step toward the bed. In return, I move closer, effectively blocking Four from being anywhere near her, and he clears his throat to get her attention.

It sort of works. She turns to look at him, but squints as if it hurts, then turns back to me. I notice Amity's reactions are a bit slowed, and I chew on the side of my cheek as I examine her.

"Are you ok?" I ask her seriously, taking in her big eyes and her pale skin. I'm hoping there's nothing majorly wrong. We can't afford a setback like this, but there are bruises blossoming as I stand there, and her eyes look wet, like she just might start crying. She eventually nods, but she looks away immediately.

"Everly…" Four tries to step around me, saying her name like he has the right to, but the nurse appears next to him and pulls on his arm.

"She can only have one visitor at a time. When he's done you can talk to her."

The look on his face is priceless. Defeat doesn't look good on him, but he should be used to it. I smirk at him, the way he reluctantly nods, forced to give up trying to prove he's innocent.

"Fine. Everly, I'll find you later." He hesitates for a second. "I really am sorry."

She doesn't say anything back to him. She looks away from me to watch Four walk away with his head down, but she doesn't say goodbye or accept his apology.

And she shouldn't.

She does shift slightly on the bed before she meets my gaze.

"I want to go home."

I frown, her words not at all what I wanted to hear. "Why?"

She doesn't answer. She takes matters into her own hands, sliding off the bed and stumbling unsteadily on her feet. Thanks to the beating she received, she isn't remotely stable, and a second later, she falls right into my chest.

I immediately stiffen.

It feels odd, and it must feel strange for her, too. But she stays there, too off balance to do anything else, and I wind up holding her upright. I let her take a few deep breaths as she stares at my jacket, not daring to look up at me. After several seconds, one of my hands finds her back, holding her in place, and I slide the other one into her hair. I ignore the soft strands my fingers slide through, and I focus only on the swelling on the back of her skull. When I find it, my fingers touching it just the slightest, she winces.

"Sorry," I mutter, my intent truly not to hurt her any further. "Why do you want to go home?"

This is a heavy feeling in my stomach at her words, a knot that feels an awful lot like the time they announced the rankings during my initiation. I don't pay any attention to it, instead, I wait for her stellar explanation. I want to hear why she's giving up, especially after this fight. She knew this wouldn't be easy and fighting this boy had shown her exactly what she was up against. Giving up would be humiliating, for both her and I, but ultimately, it's her decision. I won't willingly let her walk out, though I know full well she'd go back to Amity. She'd be disgraced, but they'd probably let her back in.

Or not.

Maybe I'd see her in the morning as I ran, haunting me from the shadows of the buildings.

"Everly."

I say her name forcefully, trying to prompt a response from her and rid my head of that image. She shakes her head, and standing must become too hard, because Amity leans forward until her head rests against my chest. She stays there, her shoulders pulling up with every breath, and I can feel her struggling not to cry. How ironic it is that I'm the one she's seeking comfort from, even if it's just to keep her from falling over.

"I need to lie down," she mumbles quietly, and I squint over her.

It takes me a second, but I realize she wants to leave the infirmary, despite having barely been examined.

"You can lie down here," I announce, holding onto her in case she decides to bolt out of here. "We need to wait for the nurse."

"No, I need to lie down," she tells me again, still not moving from against me. "Upstairs. In my bed. Eric, can I get something for my head? It hurts."

"I'll get the nurse and we'll get you upstairs."

The relief I feel is odd, considering she's telling me she's in pain. I dig my fingers into her back, feeling the muscle she's been working so hard to build, and the very hint of her rib cage. My fingers dig into her hair, tightening and locking into place at the nape of her neck, ready to tilt her head upward so I can say something else, reminding her why she's here.

Except I don't.

I should let her go, pushing her back onto the bed and telling her not to touch me like that again. She'd be better off crying on Four's shoulder, or maybe that kid who tried to kill her, but I don't. I stay still, letting her lean into me while she tries to regain her composure. For a moment, the room is still. The infirmary goes quiet, as the nurses have gone to do whatever the fuck they were doing, and it's just her and I, still standing there while her shoulders shake.

I swallow down the wave of something that washes over me, quick and sharp.

"I thought you meant you wanted to go back to Amity."

I say the words lowly, my voice firm and quiet. Personally, I give zero fucks if she leaves beyond the fact that it'll be embarrassing for me. But there's this annoying, nagging feeling I can only think to be relief, that my initiate is staying and only needs to lie down until her head stops throbbing.

It's ruined by a loud crash that echoes through the room, and I let go of her abruptly. Her head jerks up as I step away, turning toward the sound and my eyes narrow immediately.

There stands Four, still watching us, like the little sneak he is. His mouth is slightly open, and he's frowning at Amity, disappointment all over his face.

He leaves immediately, gone before I can kill him.

 

 

"This way."

I storm through the dark hallways, sighing heavily, because Amity is higher than a kite.

She walks back beside me, somehow managing not to trip, but bumping into me as though she's had a few too many doses of peace serum. I can see her struggling to fight it, but it's probably sweet relief from the pain she was in.

I'd stood beside her while a nurse administered something to stop the pounding in her skull. She warned her, and me, that while this would last for up to eight hours, she would need to be woken up every so often to ensure she didn't have a concussion. They told me she should feel sleepy but be easily roused. One nurse made me promise to bring her back if I couldn't wake her, and I'd clenched my jaw when I realized this felt like a whole lot of responsibility falling onto me.

That I didn't sign up for.

"Don't think this excuses you from training." My voice sounds cold and distant, harsher than intended, as I snap at her. But I can't help it. This is now the fourth time she's crashed into me while we were walking. I push her away, not super forcefully- after all, I don't want her to hit her head again, and I do make sure she doesn't fall into the wall, but enough that she gets the hint. It's clear she's not even aware she isn't walking straight, because she does it again almost immediately, bouncing off my side as we near my apartment.

It's also clear that despite being from Amity, she has the tolerance level of an infant. You'd think she'd be used to living in an altered state. In the infirmary, they'd given her a basic pain medication, yet here she was, ready to pass out not even ten minutes later.

"Okay," she tries to smile at me, but it doesn't quite work. She just looks tired and confused, and I glare at her when I open the door to the apartment.

"Why'd you even go sit with Four's class?" I interrogate her pointlessly, watching her stumble in behind me. She looks triumphant for a fleeting moment, then shrugs as she tries not to fall over.

"I didn't know when you'd be back. Or what I was supposed to do. It seemed like a good idea."

"Well it wasn't," I snap, clenching my jaw.

"I'll remember that next time. Sorry," Amity apologizes, deliriously continuing on into the living room. She stands there, looking exhausted and drugged, and I know the rest of the day is useless. There's nothing I can do except make sure she doesn't die in her sleep, and I'm pretty much stuck here with her.

Before I can snarl at her to go lie down, mostly because of the frustration rising back up at the thought our lost time, Amity walks right past me. She blearily makes her way to the bedroom, throwing the door open and walking through. I can only assume she's made the decision to go to bed and sleep until her head doesn't hurt.

Except she's walked right into my bedroom.

"Everly." I call her name out, but she doesn't answer. She pulls the door shut, not completely, and I hear her doing something.

I stand there, one eyebrow raised at my own door, a feeling of disbelief crawling up my spine.

She can't be serious.

"Everly?" I call out her name again, taking great pains to give her the benefit of the doubt. She's probably too drugged up to realize what she's doing, but it shouldn't take her long to figure out she's in the wrong room. My bedroom looks nothing like the room she's staying in, and I'm sure she'll notice.

So, I wait.

I stand there in my own apartment, with my arms crossed over my chest, staring at my own bedroom door.

She doesn't come back out.

I graciously give her far more time than I'd give anyone else, wondering if maybe she got sick. Maybe the pain medication was too strong, or maybe she really did pass out and hit her head again. My mind struggles with being irritated and somewhat mildly concerned that maybe I need to take her back to the infirmary, and I glance at my phone, debating about calling down there and having someone come up.

That seems invasive, so I decide to check on her myself. I throw my own bedroom door open, ready to rip her apart for needing so much medical care in one afternoon, but I stop dead in my tracks.

I can't see her.

One thing I can see is her clothes. Her shirt and leggings have been casually tossed on the floor as though she stripped right then and there, and her shoes have been kicked next to my dresser. The room is dark and quiet, and it takes me a second to realize she's sound asleep in my bed.

I swallow.

I can't make her out beneath my comforter, but I know she's there. I walk closer, stopping beside her and bending over my bed like it's a crime scene. I'm rewarded with the sight of her, eyes closed and lips slightly parted, dead to the world. She's on my pillow, the one I usually end up sleeping on, and she's pulled the covers up the best she could. One hand is flung out to the side, she's in the middle of my bed, hair everywhere, spilling down her back and onto my dark sheets.

I bite down on my cheek.

Perfect.

Just what I was hoping would happen.

When I woke up this morning, to 9,000 emails and 87 text messages, I was hoping my trainee would get the shit beat out of her. That she would then require me to carry her to the infirmary with Four trailing behind us, would be given some pain medication that would make her loopy, and then she'd wander into my bedroom, undress, and make herself at home in my bed.

I close my eyes.

Her sleeping there is problematic for a few reasons, and I mentally debate what to do. I've never let anyone stay in my home very long and certainly not sleep over. Ashley had tried, several times. I'd watched her try to stay, coyly pretending she was too tired to put her clothes back on in hopes I'd tell her to just go to sleep. The last thing I wanted was her here in the morning, slyly walking out through the compound with a smug grin. I'd never let anyone who'd ever come here sleep beside me, and in fact- I'd often considered not even bringing them in here.

But Everly has no clue about any of that, and she's not even aware of the women who'd tried to sleep where she is.

I debate waking her up, or for the third time, picking her ass up and carrying her to her bedroom. I don't really want her in here, but moving her seems unnecessary, especially when she makes a small noise of distress before burying herself deeper beneath my covers. I really should call Four and make him move her, but then he'd have to set foot inside my apartment, and wouldn't he love to see this spectacle.

Ultimately, I decide to leave her.

It's not worth the effort of moving her, and if I squint at her, she doesn't look entirely unpleasant in my bed.

 

 

She sleeps for hours.

Through the rest of the day, missing yet another meal, and through the night. I force myself to check on her periodically, only because I had promised to keep her alive. Not just to Max, but to the nurse who'd checked her out, and my ass would be on the line if I had to report she'd stopped breathing.

I mostly wander in and out of my own bedroom, glancing at her out of the corner of my eye, making sure she's still there. By the time it nears nine, I change out of my clothes and brush my teeth while I give her a cursory glance. When I'm convinced she'll make it through the night, I head back out into the living room.

I open my laptop and spend the rest of the evening responding to the work emails I've let slide. I answer them quickly, sharply telling Max I'll meet with him when I can, and bluntly telling Jeanine I'll call her in the morning. I email Jason back, agreeing he can take a vacation day this upcoming Friday, and he doesn't have to ask me.

I close out of the program sometime around midnight, my head having grown heavy from sitting here.

I glance around my living room, trying to decide what to do now. I could always sleep out here. My couch isn't at all uncomfortable, but I loathe the idea that I've let her push me out of my own bedroom. I could sleep in the guest room, though that seems like I'm granting her permission to sleep wherever she pleases and I have no patience for that.

I could go in, sleep in my own fucking bed, and if she wakes up, kick her out.

My eyes close, and I pull my shirt off over my head, tossing it onto the coffee table.

Maybe I should kick her out.

Remind her exactly who she is and who I am, and that my bedroom is not somewhere she's to hang out. That idea is appealing to my mean side, and the image of her scampering out of there pops into my head. She'd probably look up at me with her big eyes, pushing her hair out of her face and cringing when she realized what she'd done. I could see her now, her scrawny little self trying to explain how she wound up in there as she blinked at me, silently asking me to just forget about it and don't make her run any laps to make up for it.

She'd step forward, closing the distance because for some fucking reason she thought she was allowed to stand so close to me, and she'd tell me she was sorry.

I'd tell her...

I'd tell her…

Something, sure.

I'm not quite sure what, because I fall asleep then, her face the last thing I think of.

 

 

I wait for her.

I wake up with a dull ache in my neck and the lingering sensation of Amity's face in my brain. I wake up later than planned, but much like Amity, I must have been tired. I lazily make myself breakfast, drink my coffee, and ignore her.

That part is hard, mostly because I need to get ready for the day. I'm still in the pajama pants I'd thrown on, waiting for Sleeping Beauty to get out here. I hadn't checked on her this morning, for that felt too kind of me.

I'm pouring my second cup of coffee when I hear her, quietly opening the door. She steps out, looking like someone who's had a rough night, and I immediately notice she's thrown my shirt on over her tank top.

I smirk.

For some reason, the image is entertaining. Her hair is a mess, her face is bruised, and my shirt hangs down to her knees. She steps forward, wildly looking back and forth to make sure I'm not there, and she takes off. She's as quiet as a mouse, hightailing it toward her own bedroom, praying I'm not there.

I let her think she's safe.

When she approaches the door to the guest room, I reach out, easily grabbing her by the waist. She jumps, and I use it to my advantage. I yank her backward, slamming her into my bare chest. I hold her against me, and something clicks, something delightful and dark and burning hot. I smirk down at her black hair, pressing her against me and holding on tighter. She's now trapped against me, the open door of her bedroom a few measly feet away, but she doesn't move.

I can feel how warm she is, having slept beneath my own sheets, and I think of her sleeping in there, in the middle of my bed, and my fingers dig into her hips.

"If you wanted to sleep in my bed, Amity, all you had to do was ask." My lips graze her ear as I say the words, darkly teasing.

She doesn't say anything, but she mostly certainly does not move.


	6. Bargaining Skills

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to Bamberlee for editing this chapter and encouraging it to be as long as possible!!
> 
> Grab your coffee and settle in because this chapter is the longest one so far. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who's been reviewing and following along :)

_  
"Harder."_

_Ashley pants the word at me, her back arching and her hips shoving back into mine. I push her away, not at all paying attention to what she wants. I look somewhere above her, my stare at the dark wall instead of her. I don't need to see the way her head bends down until her blonde hair hangs in her face._

_"Eric, take your time." She whines, making a few more pleas as I thrust into her._

_I ignore her._

_I focus on myself, on the way it feels good to fuck her, and absolutely nothing else._

_"Wait, slow down!" She gasps, attempting to slow my actions. But she's on her knees and her attempt is useless. She reaches back, missing me completely, as though I care what she wants. I knew this wasn't her preferred pace, not at all, but I was merely waiting for the relief I knew was coming._

_Our meeting this afternoon- a long and dreadfully pointless waste of time- had ended no more than twenty minutes ago; she'd followed along to my apartment, shoved forward as my hands yanked at the hem of her shirt, and I'd practically pushed her onto my bed and ripped the skirt off her hips._

_"Eric, fuck, wait..."_

_I thrust harder, still ignoring her, as I waited to feel something other than aggravation for the first time in days._

_Jeanine had been on my ass, literally hovering over me at our last meeting. She'd stood behind me while I opened my email, then visibly twitched when I'd told her I'd work on it. Divergents were a problem, but it's not like they were crawling up and over the walls, tearing shit down and announcing their presence. They were mostly silent, trying to fit in where they didn't, trying hard to avoid all suspicion._

_Sure, a few weren't, but I wasn't concerned. I'd already promised I'd find them for her, but I had other things to do, too. It was her own fault she was impatient. Her projects were always my top priority, but she was increasingly extreme in her wants, demanding overnight results. To top it off, Max was down my throat with paperwork that he should be doing, all because he was off for the week._

_So, this feeling that's slowly building is the only thing I'd been looking forward to._

_"Stop moving." I hiss at Ashley, grabbing her hard enough that she hisses right back at me. She doesn't appreciate my rough gesture, but I take over, losing control as I slam into her, hard enough that my vision starts to blur._

_I'd been sleeping with her for some time now, fucking her after our meetings and sometimes slipping out with her when I got bored of listening to Jeanine pontificate. Ashley was easy and predictable, never able to turn me down and never saying no. We both knew she was hoping she'd get something out of it. Despite being incredibly smart, she was dumb enough to believe a cross factional proposal, landing her in Dauntless, filing her sharp nails while waiting for me to come home to her was in her future._

_She believed I cared for her, but in reality, I cared for no one. I didn't have it in me to ever think of anyone other than myself, and I was beyond selfish in every aspect of my life. I knew Ashley believed she could change this. She'd tried to hint that maybe one day I'd want a life beyond fucking her a few times a week. She gone so far as to slyly hint that while she was certainly no one who wanted a child, she'd do anything, anything, to keep us connected._

_She'd seen me at my worst then. I'd let her have it, informing her if I ever heard her utter such words again, - the very idea of a family or a child with anyone making me want to stab out my own eyeballs, then I'd make sure she never saw the light of day._

_She'd gotten the hint._

_Since then, she'd never spoken about a future for us, but she was willing to speak of other things._

_Like now._

_She is whining, pleading for me to slow down while her nails claw at my sheets. They are bare, polished to perfection with some clear gloss Jeanine prefers, and for some reason, the sight of them repulses me._

_But I keep going, waiting until my thighs begin to burn and the familiar, pleasant feeling of my orgasm begins to work its way through my stomach. I don't warn her, certainly don't try to encourage her to finish in any matter- I only fuck her harder. I come quickly, ignoring her disappointed whine when I slide out of her, knowing I'd left her completely unsatisfied._

_"What the hell?" She turns around, still on her knees, unstable on my bed. "Are you fucking serious?"_

_I stare at her before me, feeling absolutely nothing toward her. I suppose I should. I've known her for years now, having grown up with her back in Erudite. She and I had spent our teenage years together, up until the moment I split for Dauntless._

_"Eric." She barks my name, trying to smooth her hair back into perfection. Ashley has always been attractive by anyone's standards; thick, long blonde hair that is perfectly straight, blue eyes, tan skin, and a figure she didn't get by sitting at her desk all day. She dresses well, always has her makeup perfectly done, and she is down to fuck at a moment's notice._

_She would be anyone's dream._

_But looking at her now, I notice the malice behind her glare, the brittleness of her hair- lightened to an extreme shade of blonde, and her smeared mascara. She looks rough, and it's only amplified by her fury of the realization that I had no intention of getting her off. I watch her with a bored look on my face as she stumbles off the bed to fix her skirt. I'm the only one who sees her like this: trashed as she tries to pull herself together, far from the image she portrays._

_She's always been like this._

_"You're an ass." She mutters, looking strange as she twists the blue fabric around to its correct position. "The fuck, Eric. You ruined it." She tries again to zip it up, sneering at me when she realizes I've broken the zipper clean off. I'd had no patience to undress her, no desire to slowly reveal the most intimate parts of her. I had wanted to get off, and I had._

_"I've got another meeting in ten minutes." I pull my boxers back up my thighs, staring her down so she'll get the hint to get lost. "You can finish up if you're fast."_

_She blinks at me, not the first time I've dismissed her. "You fucking dick. You said…"_

_"I didn't say anything. You followed me here." I fix my pants, and she looks ready to murder me. I'm sure she's envisioning her nails slicing my skin until I give in and make sure she's satisfied._

_"Fuck you, Eric." She says it again, and I know I'm right. She stalks over to me as she roughly pulls her blouse back in place, the material wrinkled from being on my floor._

_"You just did." I smirk at her, waiting for her to slap me, and the expression on her face changes to one I'm familiar with. Back when we first started messing around, she looked almost exactly the same. Always conniving, planning ahead, plotting. So, before she can slap me, I reach down and grab her wrist, pulling her forward a step, and she stares right at me. "I'll see you next week."_

_She jerks her hand away, stepping back from me. She moves to grab her jacket, stiff blue fabric that's been crumpled beyond repair, and she smirks as though she's decided she'll turn me down._

_"We'll see."_

_It's all she says. She walks past me, smoothing down a piece of her hair that won't lay right. Her heels clack on my floor as she makes it past the kitchen, and I watch her leave, relieved when my front door shuts._

_I press my palms into my eyes for a second, then I pull my jacket back on._

_She won't say no._

_She never has._

_The next week is exactly the same, except this time, she comes, groaning my name until I cover her mouth with my hand._

__

 

The dream lingers, long after I'd held Amity against my chest, letting her go to scamper off to her room. She had yet to return, still not having stumbled out of her bedroom after her sleepover debacle.

Last night had been a first for me. I could count on one hand the number of women I'd willingly taken into my bedroom, and I could name one, and only one, who'd just walked right in there and helped herself into my bed. Amity was the first, her balance suspect and her posture telling me she was seconds away from passing out, but she'd been so sure of herself in that moment. I'd followed minutes later, only to discover she'd made herself at home, right smack in the middle of my bed.

It was quite the predicament, and it was all thanks to whatever the fuck the nurse had given Amity. I made a mental note to tell them next time she'd need a child's dosage, then I'd debated my options about what to do with my little guest. Carrying her back to her own bed seemed to only further the point that I gave a shit about her. Having her wake up and possibly trip and reinjure her head seemed counterproductive. Losing my shit felt pointless.

I'd sighed, standing there staring at my bed before I swore repeatedly, knowing full well she couldn't hear me.

So, against my better judgement, I let her sleep there.

Even better, I had wound up falling asleep, only to find myself thinking about her.

It was short lived.

Unfortunately, I also fell into some lucid dream about Ashley, and I could only think it was because it had been a while since I'd slept with her. My fighting with Amity must have put some new, unfortunate thoughts in my head, all of which I had zero desire to act upon. But her beneath me, her body pressed against mine, had given my brain a jolt. I'd gone to bed frustrated and I'd woken up cranky, the image of Ashley so real she might as well be right in front of me. I could see her, clear as day, her body shuddering against mine, her head shoved down into my sheets and strangely- my stomach turned over sharply.

Now, my phone rings from somewhere, and I realize I'd tossed it aside before I fell asleep. After a minute of searching, I find it, and I'm rewarded with a dying battery and a message from Ashley.

It feels like a trick. I almost don't read it, but to my surprise, she is only asking me if I'll be at the next rundown with Jeanine. There is nothing behind it, no plea for me to come to see her, no whining to just head over already, and no thinly veiled tease hidden amongst professional words.

Clearly, it's a trap.

But I type back yes without thinking and throw my phone onto the couch. I feel a wave of annoyance wash over me. It might be the lingering dream, or maybe it's just the thought of sitting with her and Jeanine, but I don't want to deal with either of them.

I'm too busy wondering where my initiate has gone.

I have half a mind to go in there and get her, maybe storm in and remind her this isn't a vacation, and I'm not going to wait around for her all day. But I think back to the nurses' orders, and I graciously give her the benefit of the doubt.

To distract myself, I'd begin working on shit that needed my approval and had fallen to the wayside. An order for ammunition, a signed inventory report from Brittney, a summary of the expenses of training new soldiers on patrol and how quickly they'd assimilated. It felt endless, most of it needing an electronic signature, and by the time I get to Jason's request for helium tanks, I'm bored out of my skull. I send a rather pointed email to Four, demanding to know how James' exile had gone, and then I stare at my screen, feeling irritated all over again.

To brighten up my mood, I log onto the security system, and settle down to watch Four's class.

It works.

They are beyond laughable.

It isn't entirely his fault; there is only so much he can do with who had shown up, but this class was proving to be a challenge. They were constantly snapping at each other's throats, especially uneasy now that they thought Amity's training was better than theirs. Their own training was undermined by their own worries, and Four was struggling to push them on, refusing to give in to their sniveling. But rather than absorbing what he was showing them, they were focused on what he wasn't showing them.

I watch as a few of them scramble around in no particular order, stopping as their gazes flit to the side, presumably to look for Amity.

But she isn't there.

She is busy washing her hair and pretending I won't notice where she slept.

"Did you eat lunch?"

I glance up from the laptop to see her walking toward the couch, as though she'd read my mind that I was planning on taking all her points to pay for her extravagant water usage. She stares at me for a second, her gaze feeling hot even as she averts it immediately. I haven't bothered to get dressed, and she is obviously affected by my bare chest and pajama pants. Just to unnerve her further, I examine her intently. I lazily look her up and down, taking in her bruised face, her freshly washed hair, and the way she cocks her head at me. She looks alive, not as nervous as she should be, and my lips curl up in delight.

Maybe she's braver than I'd originally thought.

"I didn't. I was waiting for you to get up." I raise an eyebrow at her, making sure she's looking right at me. "I tried to wake you earlier, but you looked pretty comfortable."

To my utter enjoyment, she turns red. Bright red. I can see the blood rush to her cheeks, the unconscious action telling me she is aware of what she'd done and she knew I'd remind her. I wait for her to flee, but she smiles, trying to downplay her error, and I smirk at her.

I then stand up and walk past her without saying a word, pleased to have my bedroom back.

I decide to get dressed and take her along to have lunch. The sooner we return to a normal routine, the better. There's no point in sitting here talking about her little mistake, but I can definitely make her realize the error of what she'd done.

Except that as I walk into my room, glancing at the rumpled sheets on my bed, I feel the same, strangely hot sensation wash over me. This sight of my sheets pushed to the side and my pillow dented in are far more arousing than the dream of Ashley's ass in front of me.

I grab the first shirt I can find, comb my hair quickly, and grab Amity on the way out the door.

Our walk over is quiet. I have nothing major planned, mostly because I had blocked out time for her to recover. I knew full well what would happen if she truly had a head injury and rushing back into her training in an attempt to stay ahead would wind up biting me in the ass.

She follows along as we head to the mess hall, keeping up with me as we make our way down the rockiest hallway. She stays close to me, especially through the steepest parts. She's careful not to touch me, and it amuses me that she seems to be trying to put some space between us.

We arrive quickly, and thanks to her never-ending sleep and her incredibly long shower, the place is mostly deserted. I choose something passable from the salad bar, and so does she. She picks the same table we've been sitting at, and I slide in beside her.

As much as it pains me to admit, I'm on high alert, my stare flicking to the door every so often, half expecting Four to come through here. I'm sure he'll have noticed our absence, and he'll have something to say about it. The third time the door opens, I shift closer to her, even though it's no one other than a team of patrol men on break. They nod a quick hello at me, stare at Amity for a second, then move on their way because they aren't idiots. Amity shifts herself suddenly, and her knee bumps into mine.

"Are you done?" I ask her, cocking one eyebrow up as she doesn't move. She nods, silently handing me her lunch tray and I'm pleased she's eaten more than expected. My fingers touch hers, of course- they're cold, and I take both of our trays to the nearest bin. When I turn around, she's waiting patiently, and I ignore the fact this pleases me.

"I've got to finish up my reports on your progress. You have the afternoon free. I suggest you study or practice somewhere away from Four's class. I'll meet you for dinner later." I move to push her forward a step, because she's stuck there, like she's waiting for something. She finally walks forward toward the exit doors; my hand stays on her lower back for far longer than it should, and I don't remove it until we enter the hallway.

 

 

She sleeps in late the next day.

I had spent the previous evening working on her reports. Ironically, they would normally be thrown across my desk for me to examine, but I knew Max would want these. I wasn't sure he would actually read them, but I made sure they were exact. Detailed. I scored her accurately, more harshly than I would the others, but fairly. I expected more from her, and to my delight, she'd been able to live up to my expectations.

It had taken way longer than I'd planned, and I'd shooed her off to bed while I worked.

Today, she finally arises, wandering out of her room and heading straight to the couch. I've been sitting here, freshly showered but having thrown pajamas back on, since I can't make her do anything. I'd thought about taking her running but couldn't risk her falling and cracking her head open.

This meant I had to use this downtime to my advantage, no matter how grating the break was.

Amity sits down, rubbing her eyes as she picks a seat so she's not right next to me.

"Are we done training until Monday?" She asks, curling her feet up underneath her. She tries hard not to yawn, apparently needing a year of sleep to get rid of her head injury, and I try to ignore her. I've let myself get used to her here, when no one should ever feel this comfortable around me. She should be cowering in fear, apologizing for being dumb enough to listen to Four, and risking her own training. But she isn't. So, ignoring her feels appropriate, especially now.

I squint at my email, at the newest message from Harrison, and I respond to him in a brief manner.

He did best when people spoke to him in short sentences.

"Tuesday. I've got meetings Monday." I don't look up. I sound bored, but it's mixed with telling Harrison I can meet him to review another budget. I frown, but that's nothing new, feeling Amity shift beside me as an alert pops up, notifying me of motion coming from the training room. I click on it immediately, and have to hold in my bark of laughter.

"Look at this."

I turn to her, closing the sparse distance between us. She'd sat down mere inches from me, highly amusing for someone trying not to sit too closely. I move until she's right against me, her skin cool and I rest one arm along the edge of the couch. She stays completely still, probably not thrilled that I was taking up all her personal space, but she is sitting on my couch. To further my point, I lean in, making sure she's sort of against my side, and I point to the screen.

I smirk as her eyes widen.

"Is that…Four's class? You're watching them?"

She turns her head to look up at me, slowly realizing we are watching a live feed of Four's training class. She has no clue about the things I can log into, but for now, she looks delighted at this small example of my power here.

I can only grin wider in reply. The sight before us is an interesting mess, and Four should be relieved we aren't down there. His class is unorganized, but not from his lack of trying. I can see him yelling at a few, losing his patience and storming over to discipline them.

"Does he know you're watching them?"

She looks away from the screen momentarily, big eyes looking up at me. When I shake my head no, she smiles at our little secret and turns back to the screen. We watch them together, silently judging Four's class from the comfort of my couch.

She watches them intently, while I mentally rank them. A very small number are good, some are passably decent, and the majority of them are terrible.

I take note of the laughable sight on the screen, a boy sloppily attacking his friend and looking like he has six arms, and I don't even realize my fingers have found Amity's neck. She's so close to me that they naturally rest behind her, and I decide I like them there. Her skin beneath her hair is warm and soft, and she shivers just the tiniest bit. The action is so minute I almost don't notice it.

But I do.

I leave my fingers there.

"I can see why you wanted to watch them. Highly entertaining." I murmur. I'd meant to chastise her further for her bad decision, but I'm distracted now. By her. But for good reason. It feels right to have her sitting beside me; she fits nicely against my side, she isn't entirely annoying, and my fingers involuntarily trace the slender line of her neck.

"I thought it was a good idea." She defends herself quietly, and I lean into her further. There's zero space between us now. My fingers travel down her neck, to the faint mark James had left. I touch it, wondering if it hurts, and feel the rage begin to build again. How dare he touch her, how dare he try to harm her, all because he was afraid.

"A good idea." I repeat lowly.

"Ok, so it was a dumb idea, but it was better than sitting off by myself." She keeps her eyes glued to the screen – trying very hard not to look at me- but she leans back into my hand, unconsciously seeking out something softer, kinder than the pummeling she'd received.

I think of her words, of her sitting there all by her lonesome, waiting for me to return, and I grin.

"Oh, did you miss me, Everly?" I drawl the words at her, and my fingers tighten in her hair. It's far softer than anything I am used to, and the inky strands slide through my fingers. The sensation is pleasant, oh so appealing, and disgusting.

I yank my hand away from her, realizing I'm now pressed up against her, and she hasn't moved away. In fact, she's only leaned into me, her posture showing no sign of unease. Again. Like a blow to the head, I remember this isn't my intent at all, and I jerk back like she's burned me. I stand up, trying to regain my composure and head straight into my bedroom without saying a word to her, leaving her alone on the couch.

Fuck.

I catch sight of myself in my bedroom mirror as I pace the room, coming to a halt in front of the dresser. I look less composed than I'd like, and my eyes have a frustration to them that I really don't like.

I'm about to screw up everything, everything, and I don't know why.

The last thing I need, and oh god would Four love to hear this, was Amity running to Max. Telling him I was making her uneasy, pushing myself against her, touching her hair and invading her space. I'm sure Max would just die, and not entirely out of delight. I knew he'd find this highly entertaining, me-letting myself get wrapped up in little Amity, but there could be repercussions to my actions.

Big ones.

I stand there staring at myself without blinking.

She's no one to me, except someone I'm supposed to train and send off to a position where I'll never see her again.

It's what I tell myself as I dress quickly, deciding we need a change of scenery. Perhaps I've been too lax, giving in to her in order for her to succeed. Or maybe I've gone too soft because she got hurt, and it's time I remind her who's in charge here.

All that goes out the window in the mess hall.

I brought her along for lunch, figuring we both needed to get out of the apartment, and to my dismay- it's crowded, packed wall to wall with initiates and members alike. We find a table off to the side, and I find myself sitting closer than ever, my thigh pressed firmly against hers while we eat.

She leaves with me just like she walked in, right beside me, her arm occasionally bumping against mine. Ironically, we leave at the same time as the very tail end of Four's class. He's a few steps ahead, and he pauses, turning around to look for any initiates lagging behind and letting his stare linger on us. Amity doesn't see him, she's too busy trying not to get stuck in the swarm of initiates who've discovered she's walking with them. They eye her curiously, sharply, until I grab her shoulders and pull her to the side of me, giving them the darkest look I can muster.

"Go. I'll meet you upstairs."

I'm careful not to tell her I'll see her in my apartment. Four might have suspected she was staying with me, but his class surely hadn't. The last thing I wanted was that flying around here. I can only imagine the uproar it would cause if they knew she was staying somewhere they were. Even now, they watch her leave, shoving and pushing each other as she hurries past them.

"Hey Amity!"

I bristle when one of them calls out to her, a blonde-haired moron who's watching her like she's his best friend. He and his friends try to get her attention, but she's too far ahead to hear them. I watch her carefully, waiting until she's rounded the corner, before I make eye contact with Four. He says nothing, rightfully assuming I'll slam his initiate into the wall for talking to mine, but he nods his head and waits for me to walk near him.

"I'm just confirming we're still scheduled to leave tonight. We'll meet you at 1:10?"

I narrow my eyes, hating to admit that I'd completely forgotten this date never changed. I mentally debate telling him we'll need to reschedule, but since Amity's been doing nothing except sleeping, she should be fine. Her head should have healed by now. I immediately decide I'll put her on my team, keep her by my side, and make sure her skull stays in one piece. She'll experience the game the same as everyone else, only I'll make sure we win, and she'll get to see how a true Leader in Dauntless commands an army.

"Fine by me. If I feel nice enough, I'll let you pick first." I sneer, hating the very sight of him, and hating even more the way he presses his lips together.

He grunts in response, knowing full well his team isn't about to win the War Games.

 

 

I almost tell her.

I spend two seconds trying to decide if I should explain what she's in for or not. It would be more to spite Four if Amity showed up prepared, but it reeked of cheating, something I wasn't about. So, I keep my mouth shut, especially when she wanders out looking strangely hopeful. She stops in front of me, right as I'm about to walk into my own room, and I notice a few things right away. She looks far more relaxed than she has been. Her face is washed, her hair is down and clean- wavier than normal and spilling around her shoulders, and the way she hesitates makes it look like she just might say goodnight to me.

I almost laugh in her face at that, but she must be psychic.

She stares at me for just a second, her shirt slipping off her shoulder to expose her pale skin, and she goes to bed without saying anything.

In her own room.

 

 

I bend over her, making sure my face is close to hers before I yell her name.

Her real name.

Her eyes fly open in surprise, completely erasing the serene expression that had been on her face mere moments ago.

I'd walked into her room at twelve thirty, taking note of the fact that while she was sleeping, she didn't look quite as comfortable in her own bed. But she was asleep, buried beneath the comforter thinking she was about to get a good night's rest.

She was wrong.

"War games. Get up and get dressed." I look down at her, both my eyebrows raised, and I can't help but feel a thrill of excitement. Not from staring at her, but from what she's about to experience. Even I can appreciate the rush of the game, and I'm hoping she will too.

Though so far, we're off to a slow start.

She stares up at me from beneath the mess of her hair, then closes her eyes shut. Then she scrunches them shut even tighter, and I bet she thinks she's dreaming. My training should be a dream, but tonight isn't. So, I reach forward, grabbing her comforter, and discover she's grabbed a few more from the closet. Lots more, actually.

You'd think I kept the place freezing.

I give her one second to wake up, then I yank the covers off her and roughly kick them to the side of the bed. All of them. We don't have a ton of time, and I need her to be awake. Really awake. Not groggy and slow, and definitely not half asleep.

I won't give Four the satisfaction of showing up late, especially not because she has a sleeping disorder.

"You got enough blankets in here, Amity? You need someone to keep you warm at night?" I try not to smirk as she finally gets the hint. She sits up and pushes her hair out of her face as I walk to the foot of the bed, trying to keep myself from pulling her upright to speed things up. She looks like she's been woken from a dead sleep, and she blinks at me in confusion.

"What are war games?" She asks sleepily.

She kicks back the sheet, and my stare wanders down to her legs. For some reason, I'm surprised at the sight before me. She's dressed in a t-shirt, the same terrible and oversized one Max had picked out, and that's it. During our time together, she's always been covered up, and except for the two times I'd seen her sleep, I'd never given any thought to what she'd wear to bed.

But my eyes are fixed on her bare legs, and the image is beyond appealing to me. She looks a little less innocent, the shirt creeping up as she scrambles to climb off the bed, turning to stare at the alarm clock. "Eric?"

"You'll see," I answer indifferently.

She doesn't like my answer, because she hesitates beside the bed.

"Shouldn't I get to skip it since I'm in my own class? Although it sounds really fun." She says the words quietly, mumbling them in hopes I'll excuse her from this little activity. I'm delighted she thinks I'd grant her this exception, so I stare at her, a smug look on my face as I walk toward her.

I stop when I'm right in front of her, mentally calculating that we have fifteen minutes to get ready, and ten to walk downstairs. She doesn't move, not until I'm directly over her. She's barely eye level with my chest, but she looks up instantly, her green eyes finding mine.

"I'm glad you think so," I tell her, and to her credit, she doesn't look away. "If you think you got lucky having me as your trainer, you're wrong. You're gonna wish Four was here to hold your hand through this exercise."

She nods her head slowly, taking in my words. "What am I supposed to wear?"

I glance over at her dresser, wondering what the fuck she even has to wear other than training clothes, and I shrug.

"Training clothes are fine. I'll give you ten minutes to get ready. Don't you dare go back to sleep." I warn her darkly, knowing full well my initiate would rather crawl back into bed and risk me coming back in here.

"I won't." She agrees, and I head out to the living room, grabbing my phone and jacket. A few minutes later she emerges from her room, her hair in a high ponytail and a jacket on. She still looks tired, but she looks tough, the jacket zipped up and her boots tightly laced.

"I'm ready." She announces brightly, far less cranky than I'd expect for her sleep being interrupted. She waits for me by the door, and she looks fairly alert now.

"Good. Let's go." I gesture, pleased that we'll get there on time.

She walks out with me, keeping right beside me the entire walk over, especially when Four's class arrives, pushing her even closer to me.

 

 

He calls her name first.

Amity takes off obediently, her dark hair bouncing as she walks across the train car. Everyone is staring at her, their eyes following her every move, but no one looks pleased except Four. He's got a wide, shit-eating grin on his face, and it only grows wider when she stops next to him.

I clench my jaw down, irritation flooding through my veins.

He must have hit his own fucking head.

I'd let him pick first, graciously and snarkily insisting he choose before me. I wasn't overly impressed with anyone in his class and I'd assumed he'd choose who he felt was best. I'd had Rylan give me a list of his class, and I'd had Jason watch the footage of their latest shooting practice. I now knew who could actually shoot, and I knew who was still struggling to hit the targets. None of them were my ideal initiates, but tonight, I knew would be forced to pick a few.

Four looks at me, patiently waiting for me to pick a name, and he looks so pleased with himself that he's actually smiling. It only spurs me on to make sure his failure tonight is spectacular.

"Carson."

I bark out the name, catching Four's smile flicker just a fraction as I pick his best shooter. I can tell he wasn't planning on me knowing anyone in his class.

He was definitely wrong in underestimating me.

We go back and forth, but I mostly watch Amity beside him. The other initiates mill around her, fighting for a spot in the crowded train; some scowl, displeased Four chose her first (even if just to spite me), but a few try to smile at her. One of the biggest and tallest ones bounds up to her, slapping her on the shoulder as hard as he can, despite her being several feet shorter than him. I can see her trying not to stagger forward, and she nervously smiles back at him.

I immediately note that Karl will be my first target.

"Game's simple. It's like Capture the Flag." Four begins announcing the game and it's rules, and Amity looks right at me.

The team around me is beyond excited, and they seem downright electric. It's clear they think this is some honor, and I notice a few of them daring to throw Amity a few nasty looks now that she isn't on my team. After she's taken note of everyone around me, her gaze finds mine. We lock eyes, and for a minute neither of us looks away.

From this distance, she looks extra tiny. She is small, and despite the Dauntless uniform she's wearing, she looks like she's in the wrong place. Like she's waiting for me to walk over and whisk her away, back to the safety of my apartment, and tell her she can skip all this.

All around her, the members close in on her, crowding in as they listen to Four talk.

One bumps her shoulder, Karl- again, and I bite down on the inside of my cheek.

He bumps into her as the train turns sharply and for some reason, he irritates the living fuck out of me almost as much as Four. He's just as tall as me though nowhere near as fit, and he valiantly steps to the side while Four terribly demonstrates something. I'm not paying attention to him, not at all. I'm still staring at Amity, beyond annoyed that Four dared to pick her.

"This is going to be awesome!"

One of the initiates exclaims this stupid statement as Four motions for me to show them just exactly how they're playing. I grab the first case of guns we've brought along, and I make an example out of the kid next to me. He's been annoying this entire time- breathing too loudly and whining about something I don't have time for. He yelps when the dart hits his skin, and I don't bother to make sure he's alright. Amity is watching, concentrating hard until the kid yanks it out of his shin and swears.

"Alright, this is it! Line up!" Four yells. I watch him with utter loathing behind my eyes, and I motion for them to exit the fucking train.

"Your team can get off first," I snarl.

Four merely nods, and I grind my teeth together when Amity takes a step over to join his group in preparation for the jump. The wind howls as the train slows slightly, and Four makes sure his team is ready. They move quickly, pushing and shoving until it's only him and Amity left. I motion for my team to follow, and we quickly fill in the space behind them. I'm close to Amity, so close I could grab her and yank her back, but I don't. I watch as Four prepares to jump. He knows I'm right there, and he does his best to ignore me.

However, he does have the nerve to smile at her, and I know he's enjoying every second of this. "Ready, Everly?"

I resist shooting him in the head when he says her real name. She nods, watching him leap from the train first. I close the distance between us, knowing she's only done this once before, and she's not the most graceful. I step closer and my fingers touch hers, grazing her every time I shift forward.

"Good luck, Amity," I scoff viciously, knowing it wasn't her decision to join his team. I grant her a free pass as she smiles up at me with a hint of regret, then turns and jumps. I watch as she lands awkwardly, and Four reaches down to help her up.

I stare at him as the train continues around the bend, until our drop off point.

"Get ready." I bark at my team, suddenly surrounded by what seems like a million members. After training exclusively with Amity, they seem to be everywhere. It's like they've multiplied, dark jackets surrounding me, jostling forward in anticipation of their turn. "On my count, jump. Once you land, we'll have minutes to form a plan. No one leaves until you're assigned a position, understood?"

I yell over the noise and they snap to attention. They nod their heads, dark smiles sliding over their faces at my commands. They are thrilled, utterly drunk on my attention, and delighted to follow my directions. It's clear they respect my authority, and it makes it all that much easier to turn them against Four.

 

 

It's not hard to find them.

Four's no brilliant military strategist, and he's a poor choice to play against. Harrison would have been better than him. But it makes it easy for my team to find his, taking them down one by one.

"Over to the left. Shoot when you have a clear shot." I hiss at the guy next to me, a kid with long dreadlocks that reach his back, and he nods his head. He assumes the position, aims, pulls the trigger, and Four's teammate shrieks in pain.

"Everybody this way." I motion for them to follow me, pleased when they stay close. So far, no one from my team has been shot, and Four is down to about six remaining initiates. We walk through the dark quickly, weapons drawn, and I eye the very place I know Four would take her.

A rundown playground.

Figures he'd try to hide her.

It had taken all of one second to deduct he'd stick the flag on her. He knew I would think he'd do the opposite, so I assumed the opposite of his thinking. He was dumb, far less clever than he believed, and my suspicion is right when I spy his men milling around the bottom of the ladder.

"MOVE."

I command my team, and they take off, boots pounding over the pavement. We storm their hideout with enough surprise force that a few of his teammates yelp, surrendering before we can shoot. They are badly outnumbered, and the fact that they're all in this area, tells me I'm right.

"Hey! I said give up! Don't shoot!" The ones at the bottom panic, not wanting to be shot by the darts, and I smirk.

The kid running at them, Ryan, shoots anyway, remembering my command not to listen to a word they said. Once they've all been taken care of, my team regroups at the base of the ladder, and I motion upward.

"Two of you. Head up there. It's only Four and Everly. Bring her back to me. Now."

I bark at the two closest to me. They are tall and strong, and they nod without hesitation. Each one ascends the ladder quickly, and while Four tries to shoot from above, he misses them entirely. I hear a few squawks and a slight protest, and I leisurely stroll around, making sure the rest of the area is secure. A quick scan tells me it is, and I command the remaining initiates on my team to take the others back to the train platform. I return just in time to see Amity hop down off the ladder, and she has no clue I'm right there, waiting for her.

"It's really good to see you again."

She jumps at the sound of my voice, but she smiles knowingly, right as the sun begins to burst onto the horizon. The weak rays illuminate her face, giving her a glow in this early morning, and I dare say she looks pretty. She doesn't look quite as tired as I'd expect, and she indulges me by looking up from beneath her eyelashes.

"Hi, Eric."

I smirk right back at her. "Hi, Everly. Hand over the flag."

She doesn't take the bait. I'd like to say I'm in disbelief at her disobedience when she shakes her head and smiles sweetly, but she's indulging me, making me pay for forcing her to partake in this game. "Sorry, I don't have it."

I stare at her, taking a slow step forward and she takes a slow step backward.

I like that she's baiting me, but she definitely won't win.

"I think you do." I tell her, my voice low and deadly, and she bites her lip. My eyes are drawn there, remaining on her mouth as I close the distance between us. Her back hits the ladder to the tower, and she's stuck, trapped in place. I keep walking, until I'm right up against her, and I reach forward to hold onto her.

She's freezing.

"I'm not going to ask again." I bend my head down to her, letting my lips purposely graze her ear. She swallows, trying hard to stay still, as I reach to take hold of her jacket. I pull her closer, until there is not a single ounce of space between her and me, knowing she'll feel warm soon. My fingers work quickly; she's distracted, her breathing speeding up as I let my cheek rest against hers.

"Everly." I find what I'm looking for. I let go of her hip and slide my fingers underneath her ponytail, digging into her hair. I pause there, then pull upward, tugging so her gaze follows exactly where I want it to. She's closer to me than anyone's ever been, completely pressed up against my chest for the umpteenth time." Are you afraid?"

"No," She answers smartly, and my fingers dig into her hair. "What do I get if I give you the flag?"

The smirk leaves my face, making me smile for the first time in a long time, so hard I wind up letting out a bark of laughter at her bravery. Throughout her training she's been quiet, obedient and ambitious, careful as can be. But now, after some time together, I'm seeing the feistiness in her and it brings forth the same wave of heat from before.

She also doesn't look half bad against my chest.

"Everly," I murmur her real name quietly, and it sounds downright illicit as it slides past my lips.

She sort of smirks, knowing that I know she hates this training activity, but not wanting to lose. I have to admit I like it, especially when Four swears from up above.

"She doesn't have the flag! Everly, shoot him!" Four's voice calls from above, and I can hear him struggling to stand.

Good.

It means he's been shot a few times, and it'll take him a minute to get down here.

"Everly!" Four shrieks her name again, sounding pained as he makes far more noise than necessary for someone who's been shot with a simulation dart.

To my amusement, she rolls her eyes.

"Four's really into this game, isn't he?" She pretends to be serious, and then she stares directly into my eyes. "If I were to have the flag, and I handed it over to you, would I maybe get to sleep in for the rest of today?"

I tilt my head to the side, enjoying the slick, buzzing feeling washing over me. It's been a long time since I felt this way, since anyone challenged me or made any demands in front of me, since anyone caught me off guard. But here she is, a girl the size of a peanut, held in place by my fingers in her hair and my chest nearly crushing her.

I smile darkly.

"You spend one night in my bed and now you think you get to call the shots," I muse.

Her eyes widen, and her lips part in surprise. It's hard to see in the ever-rising sunlight, but she blushes, the blood rushing to the surface of her cheeks.

I immediately let go of her and take a step back, smirking the whole time.

She has no clue she just lost the game for her team.

"Thanks, Amity." I wink at her, and her mouth drops open when I wave the flag in the air. Her hand flies to her pocket, searching for the red fabric, but she comes up empty handed.

Above us, Four lets out a string of curse words.

 

 

In person, Ashley is just as intense as in my dream.

She looks at me with a hawk like stare, her nails digging into the glass table with such force I expect one to crack right in half. Her blonde hair is pulled back tightly, so much that it looks painful, and it matches the expression on her face.

Next to her, Jeanine looks the same, only older and even less patient.

My meeting was going swell.

I'd sat here, with Jeanine and Ashley both staring at me, trying to pretend I was invested in what they were saying. And I was. I had been, all along. But the reality of the situation was I'd had no sleep, I left Amity on the couch, and I could still feel her pressed against me, her body only warm because of mine, all while Four cried somewhere in the distance.

"Eric, did you get my last email? I fixed the report."

My phone then dings, and I glance down at it. It's an alert, saying my account balance has changed, and I click out without looking at it. That wasn't at all usual, but I didn't have time to deal with it now. I could only assume Jason forgot his card in the lunch line and while he could never remember his own account number, he knew mine well enough to give it to them.

When I look up, I spy Ashley's pleading stare glued to me, wishing I'd say something. She's lost the bitchiness she walked in with, and now, she is looking at me with utmost desperation. I knew she'd probably gotten reamed out the ass for sending an incomplete report to me. There was a reason, but a dumb one at that. She'd risked sending me the half-finished version, mostly because it meant I would have to contact her to get the rest of it.

But she certainly wasn't expecting to be turned in to her own boss.

I'd pushed it back on Jeanine for a few reasons, not only to fuck with Ashley.

Because Amity's name was on there.

At the very bottom, with a percentage so minute it shouldn't even count, sat my initiate. It very well could have been a computer error, but there she was, Everly Carlen. It was a long shot that Jeanine would even get that far, but I'd stared at it for a long time, thinking it was a mistake. But I knew it wasn't. It was her name and her old faction, and I had to push away the fact that it made me ill at the sight of it.

So, I'd sent it back to Jeanine on grounds it was incomplete, and I'd decided to sway her to focus solely on the highest percentages. She'd have much more promising results from the top of the list, and this bought me time.

"I got it. I went through the rest of the names. I need stricter criteria for what you're looking for. You're basing this report off anyone who came up as Divergent, errors included, but there are names on there that wouldn't fit the last criteria you sent. You told me the percentages weren't a tangible element to consider, yet that's what you're asking for."

I swipe left on the screen, and it changes to a graph with a few different shades of blue.

"Here, you have this one divided by factions, this one divided by age, and this one showing them both combined, and this one showing names that didn't show up at all but are marked suspicious. What exactly would you like me to look for?"

Jeanine shakes her head, and her hair barely moves. This wasn't a new issue with Jeanine. Her mind worked quickly, too quickly, and she often blurred her ideas together. What could have been something great- searching for Divergents based on how divergent they were, could be useful. Knowing their factions, even more useful. But she was greedy, overlooking the smaller details in favor of the big picture.

Her lab rats.

"Fifty percent or higher. By faction. We'll start there and see how it goes. I'm not so much concerned by how Divergent they are, just that they are at all." Jeanine stares at me like I'm stupid, but in reality, she's changed what she's looking for three times since her last email. "I'd like them all brought to me, but I think we can agree to start there. The ones I highlighted are of utmost urgency."

"Fine. I'll look up the ones you wanted and see where they're at. I'd like to take a look at the few reported from Candor and a few in Amity. While we're at it, there's also the issue with the factionless. I've already arranged with Max to investigate when I head out next."

Jeanine frowns when I change the subject.

I lean back, done with talking of Divergents, and am relieved when Rylan walks through the door with a stack of folders. He takes the seat opposite me, nodding a quick hello at Jeanine and ignoring Ashley completely. He's late, but I'd asked him to bring along a few print outs, and that took time he wasn't planning on.

"I pulled the security tapes you wanted. We think the factionless have found a leader or formed their own sort of…faction." He pulls out a few photos, printed from the security cameras. "Here, this woman has been seen multiple times, in different factions. Always on the outskirts, never venturing too far in."

"The factionless are not a faction." Jeanine answers coldly, and she looks at him in contempt. "They never will be. If they need to be reminded of that, we can easily handle the situation."

"They have been forming in increasing numbers." Rylan points out slowly, his eyes dragging to mine and he looks annoyed. These meetings are not his favorite, but Jason had already begged off, claiming personal reasons for not being available today. "You can't deny we're seeing an increased presence of…"

"I told you. If need be, we'll handle them. I'm not concerned about the factionless right now." Jeanine interrupts him, then pulls her shoulders back and smiles sharply. "Ryan, would you mind grabbing me some tea. It's awfully cold in here. I thought you were running in conservation mode here."

He stares at her.

I can see his blood pressure rising at the misuse of his name, especially when Ashley sneers at him, her stare looking him up and down. He'd grown up less fortunate than she and I, and she's always thought less of him. But here, he worked just as hard as I did. When she's done with her examination, I'm sure finding some fault in his dark uniform, she leans toward me, moving to link her foot behind mine.

In return, I kick her, hard, and she yelps in surprise.

"Sorry," I lie, not at all sorry for shoving her away from me. "You know what, I'll grab you some tea. Rylan and I need to wrap this up anyway. But Max has some free time if you'd like to further discuss the test results. He said he'd be more than happy to see you."

Jeanine stares at me, surprise flashing across her face. It's gone after a second, for she hates anyone seeing her caught off guard, and it's replaced with disdain at my deciding we were done for now. "Eric…"

She says my name, but I'm already out the door, followed by Ashley. I'd assumed she was Rylan, but when I stop abruptly, she bumps into me, and she glares at me when I keep her at a distance.

"Is there something wrong?" She asks slowly, and her gaze is a mix of blatant irritation and hurt. "You just kicked me. You've been ignoring my messages, declining my calls, and you've barely looked in my direction. What's gotten into you?" She crosses her arms over her chest and stares me down.

I shrug.

I have nothing to stay to her, because I don't owe her an explanation.

"Eric." She grits my name out and takes a step closer to me. She's far taller than Amity, and she has no trouble getting in my face. "Answer me."

"I don't answer to anyone, especially you." I snarl at her, watching her eyes widen. "I've been busy, and I don't have time for you. I don't see why this warrants a discussion."

She stares, and I can see the wheels turning in her mind. She's always been smart, conniving, and I can tell there's a plan forming as we speak.

"I can get her to ease up on you, you know. If that's what this is about. I can tell her the Divergent shit can wait." She informs me, her voice lowering a notch. "Or I could always get your mother to call her. Tell her she needs to back off for a minute. She asked how you were doing, you know."

I have to work hard, beyond hard, to resist the urge to slap her.

"Actually, why don't you give Blythe a message for me." I reply, and for the moment, Ashley is placated. She cocks her head to the side, pleased because out of anyone she could align herself with- Blythe is her favorite, but the smile on her face vanishes when I spit my next words at her.

"Tell her to go fuck herself."

I turn on my heel and leave, forgetting I've left Rylan alone with Jeanine, and I head toward Max's office. I stalk through the maze of hallways quickly, turning a few corners and nearly taking out our newest intern, some guy with brown hair who's simply a taller version of Four, until I'm in the section where the Leaders claimed their offices. There I find Linda, cheerfully typing away at the reception desk, and I storm into Max's office even though she tells me he's in a meeting.

It's just my luck he's with Arlene.

She looks up at me expectantly, her beady eyes flashing when I don't greet her. I ignore her while I put in the request to have all my meetings postponed another week, and Max looks confused. I tell him he can answer to Jeanine for a minute, that I have a few things to tend to, and it's no surprise to me when he readily agrees.

I then leave, annoyed as ever, and return to my meeting like nothing happened.

I never bring her anything to drink.

The rest of the time is tense, stretching out far longer than necessary, until Rylan texts me across the table that Christina is with Everly, and the look on his face tells me I won't like what they're doing.

 

 

I'm right.

I don't.

I find Amity sitting in the mess hall, looking worried. Not at the members milling around, sneaking glances at her as they pick out their lunch. Not at the way Four's class is there, sneakily trying to sit close to her to see what she's doing. Not even at the fact she's sitting with Christina, and that's certainly not anything good.

At the fact Christina is spouting off something about the training, and now Amity is thinking I've kept something from her by not telling her about it.

She looks thrown off, surprised I'd betray her like this, and entirely different than I've ever seen her. Gone are the shitty training clothes that don't fit, and in their place, is a fitted tank top and skirt. Her hair is pulled up into a bun on the very top of her head, and I stand there, dumbstruck, in the entryway. Thank God no one is around me, because despite having spent all my time with her, Amity looks entirely unlike Amity.

She looks like Everly.

Her face is pretty, exposed now that her hair isn't hanging in it every five seconds, and her pale neck and shoulders mock me from a distance. Even frowning, the worry darkening her expression into pure nerves, doesn't dampen the fact she's attractive, and almost every guy in the mess hall has noticed.

Her blonde-haired friend is craning his neck so hard he might fall out of his chair, and his friends are memorizing every detail of her. I know what they're looking at, because I'm looking at it too.

She frowns again, and my stomach tightens into sharp, stabbing annoyance. I head over there, catching the tail end of their conversation, as Christina proceeds to paint me as the villain of Dauntless, all for not having told Everly what comes next.

"Has Eric talked to you about your fear landscape yet?" she asks after her bite of hamburger. I notice Everly isn't really eating hers; she's mostly stabbing it, then pushing it around her plate.

"No, I don't even know what that is." I nearly knock someone over, pushing the kid out of the way as I stalk closer, fully prepared to take Everly back home. For some reason she's bothering me, even worse- that she thought I'd keep a huge part of her training from her and let her fail.

"Really? I'm surprised Eric didn't drag you down there to be the first one." Christina keeps running her mouth, her hamburger in mid-air. "They inject you with a serum and you work through your worst fears. All of them. It's awful."

"Great." Everly responds dejectedly, and she sets her hamburger down. "I wonder why he didn't tell me."

"He probably thrives off the element of surprise. Or maybe he just wants to make it even worse for you." Christina tells her, looking sympathetic. She glances at Everly intently, then frowns. "It's pretty bad as it is, so I hope it's not that."

Strangely, Everly looks down at her plate as though she's trying to think of a reason why I wouldn't tell her something so important. I could bang my head against the wall at Christina's stupidity for putting such thoughts in her head. "I don't know. I'm not sure why he hasn't told me about it."

"Because that would be against the rules. Or because you've already prepped for it and I don't foresee it being a huge problem for you." I snap the words as I stop beside her, having grown impatient with this whole discussion. "Or did you forget everything you've been studying?"

I say the words nastily as I slide into the seat next to her, shoving myself just a hair too close. My arm is touching hers, and my thigh presses against the thin fabric of her skirt. I tower over her, even while sitting, and she glances up at me immediately.

I direct my attention to Christina.

"You can go now."

Of course, she wasn't expecting that. Her sudden friendship with Everly must have made her think I'd forgive her for existing. Her eyes widen in fake shock and she looks supremely insulted. "Excuse me, I'm not done eating."

I don't give her too long to protest. I glare at her, dark and lethal and I silently remind her I don't like her. I definitely didn't like her before, but now- as she sat here filling Everly's head with her garbage worries, I most certainly don't like her.

"Fine. Good luck, Everly." Christina stands up slowly, looking at her once before making a slight face at me. I could discipline her for it, but she leaves before I can, taking a seat far away from Everly and me. She looks back at me once, a stare as dark as my own, and I smirk. I know Rylan will hear about this, but I don't care. If I really wanted to, I could press him enough to dump the loser, and she'll be back to sleeping with the scum of Dauntless.

I look back at Everly, bumping into her as I forget I'm seated so closely to her, and she meets my eyes. "Aren't you supposed to be studying?"

"I just needed a break. I studied all morning. I'm tired. And I wanted to get out for a minute." She turns inward, drawing her legs up and looking directly at me. "I didn't think I couldn't take a break to eat."

I stare at her.

My brain is stuck on the singular thought that she looks pleasant.

Pretty.

Different than anyone I'd ever seen here before.

There's nothing flashy about her; no overdone makeup, no slew of garish, raw piercings or brand-new tattoos. Her outfit isn't anything extremely revealing or even seductive. But for some reason, I can't look away from her.

"I never said you couldn't eat." I finally answer her, narrowing my eyes and I turn to face her. Her position has pushed us closer together, and when I lean in, she's almost right against my chest. "You just don't need to be traipsing around with the likes of her. You need to focus on your training."

I can see the moment she has to fight down her reaction. My words aren't fair at all; they are a weak point, a defense from my frustrated brain. It keeps telling me to focus on her, on the slope of her shoulder, on the indent of her collarbone, on the way her tank top gives way to her slender waist.

Unfortunately, she's not amused.

"I am focused!" She hisses, sounding strange and irritable. "Maybe if you didn't spend all your free time distracting me…"

I smirk at her.

She has no idea who's the real distraction. I've come to realize she's been a distraction since the day she arrived.

"It's not funny, Eric. I want to pass initiation."

Her tone changes, softer now, and the worry is back in her eyes. I shake my head at her, hating that she'd even think she wouldn't.

"Oh, you'll pass initiation. No initiate of mine will fail." I try not to hiss back at her, but the words don't sound so nice, even though my intent is to let her know I would never let her flunk out. We sit there in silence, each of us waiting for the other to look away, but neither of us give in. I have no doubts she will pass, and God help me if she truly thought I'd let her fail. I have far too much on the line, especially now.

"Eat your lunch. We have work to do after." I smirk at her again, and this time, I drop my stare to her mouth. To her lips, pretty and full, and I have a hard time looking up. "Unless you're too distracted."

She stares at me intently, her lips wanting to smirk badly, returning my tease to her. It stays on her face as she finishes her hamburger, and all during the walk home with me.

 

 

She washes her hair with something I don't own.

I catch the scent as she stands in front of me, rising up on her tiptoes to grab a cup from the cabinet. I'm close behind her, right smack in the middle of making her dinner, but she's all I can smell. Something floral and sweet, but also sort of exotic and not from here. Her hair is still wet from her shower, but it hangs down her back and she bumps into me as she fumbles to reach for the cup.

It's funny, how she exists here, like she's always been here.

I let her flounder for a second, then I grab one- from a much higher shelf, and I hand it to her.

"Thanks, Eric."

She smiles, the same genuine smile I see every once in a while, and I find myself briefly, very briefly, smiling back at her.

 

 

I fill out her paperwork while she does whatever the fuck it is she does in her bedroom.

Sleep, stare at the ceiling, shower until there's no hot water left.

I try not to think about that, instead focusing on the paperwork in front of me, idly checking off the boxes I need to fill out. She's to be seen in the infirmary sooner rather than later, and my job is to make sure there is nothing Arlene can bitch about once I bring her there. I neatly fill out my portion of the paperwork, confirming I'd found nothing physical that would prevent her from continuing, and as far as I knew, she had no health problems. I don't bother estimating her height or weight, and I mark down that she's had no real injuries so far other than being seen after her fight.

On the second page, I neatly fill out her name, pausing when I finish writing Everly.

I stare at the page.

My phone rings, shrilly, and I see Daniel's name on the screen. I promptly hit decline, sign my name on the bottom of her paperwork, and admire my work. It looks flawless, my handwriting precise after years of practice in Erudite. I squint at it, a slow and practical idea forming in my mind. Daniel calls again- the name DANIEL COULTER more obnoxious than ever, and I answer it rudely.

I write her last name then close the paperwork and my eyes.

Daniel is calling to tell me he's due to visit Arlene soon and he'd like to stop by and have dinner.

I tell him no, then hang up before he can try to guilt trip me into it.

 

 

To make up for the days she spent recovering from James' attack, I make the call that it's time we ramp up Amity's training game. The look on her face was priceless when I told her she had to make up the time she missed, and the only way to do that was to add on to our days. I couldn't extend her training out any further, she was already working through weekends (though I could grant her an exception from that if I wanted), but I needed her back on track. She looked downright despondent at 5:00 am, her eyes sleepy and her expression pitiful, but she'd thank me later.

The benefits to training early were endless.

The training room was empty at this early hour, and no one from Four's class was around. Nor would they be for some time.

Which is even better, because she's struggling. Despite having made huge progress in her fighting, she still couldn't beat me. I didn't outright expect her to, but I needed her to be able to hold her own against someone my size. The opponents she would come up against -here, or outside of the compound- wouldn't give a shit that she was smaller than them. They'd aim for her just like any other solider we had. And little Amity just couldn't quite defeat me.

But she shows motivation, and the smallest speck of improvement. My pride is in full blown effect the first few hours. She defends herself easily, she's focused, and she lands more than a few punches. But I can see when she starts to get worn down, her punches growing sloppy as exhaustion kicks in, and the final time she falls, knocked off balance by my punch, she takes me down with her again.

Just like the last time, I land heavily atop her, and my hips crash right into hers. To steady myself, I put one hand on each side of her head and let my weight rest on her. My intent to show my superiority fails when she squirms, attempting to knock me off her.

"Harder." I growl, not at all caring that she's trapped beneath me nor that her skin has a nice flush to it. I feel myself tensing up, "You can do it."

Unfortunately for me, my body reacts completely without my permission. I inhale sharply, reclining back to indulge in the sight in front of me, Amity on the mat beneath me.

She looks delightful.

My dick thinks so, too.

She's oblivious. She tries her best to keep fighting; she attempts to shove me off again, writhing beneath me, but she can't really escape. I snicker when she pushes on my shoulder, then her fingers curl in until I swat them away. She then makes the brave decision to ball her hands into fists to punch me.

To make it all the worse for her, I pin her arms down by her side, laughing loudly at the look on her face.

"You seem to like this position, Amity."

The words are out of my mouth, full of teasing intent. But I'm fighting back the urge to stay right where I am, and every time she moves, the feeling is strangely overwhelming. She really doesn't seem to mind being stuck beneath me, for she hasn't tried all that hard to get free. I have to admit, she's an enjoyable sight like this, especially when she looks up at me with wide, green eyes.

"So do you." She answers me in this innocent tone, but the spark in her eye tells me it's not that innocent. We lock eyes again, something passing between us just like the time I caught her in the hallway, so I glare down at her, refusing to be bothered by her stare.

She squirms again, slightly, and this time, my skin shrinks two sizes. I feel everything in me react, so I push myself up quickly, off her before she can blink.

I head to the side, grabbing my tablet, shaking off the image of her staring up at me, imagining a very different scenario occurring, and I angrily type in her scores.

"Head to the roof."

I don't look at her to see if she gets up.

 

 

She finishes putting the rifle and scope together before anyone from Four's class.

I was annoyed to find them all on the roof. I'd been hoping, given Four's slow pace at everything in life, they wouldn't be up here yet. I had his training schedule memorized, and he would have had to work them hard to have them up here right now.

To my delight, they are panicked.

Not by our appearance, though a few watched us walk by, but by the large pile of rifles sitting before them. I grin in ultimate superiority, as Everly has already done this. I had to hand it to her, she'd caught on quickly. Her shooting practice had already included how to assemble the rifles, and it hadn't taken her long to pick up on it.

"Three minutes," Four calls out, and his face shows a speck of tension beneath his unwavering serious stare. He looks tense, avoiding my disapproving gaze as one of his initiates drops the scope of his rifle, catching it at the last second. He scolds him immediately, working hard to keep them on track.

Meanwhile, I inspect the one Everly has put together.

It looks perfect.

"Over here." I nod at her, and she follows me with a pleased look on her face. She should be pleased; she's far surpassed Four's group by miles. We stop at the furthest wall, and she takes a second to look out over the city. There are targets dotting the tops of several buildings nearby. Most seem obnoxiously far away, but they're put there for a reason. Everything she's learned about shooting has lead up to this. The rifles are for long range shooting, something that will come in handy if she works on a post. I mess with hers for a moment, making sure everything is in place, and I wave her over.

I give her an inch of space.

I wait for her to get in place, thinking that while I don't expect her to hit all the targets, I expect her to hit most of them. I know she can shoot, and I know she can shoot well. But this rifle is different, heavier and bulkier, and less easy to use than the handguns.

She steps right in front of me and I pull her back a step, until she's flush with my chest and my arms encircle her. The feel of her is now familiar, warm, and not at all unpleasant. She fits there nicely, and I can tell she's become accustomed to this unnecessary closeness.

"You're to hit every target I tell you to."

I whisper the words in her ear. There's no one even remotely close to us, and I'd purposely chosen the hardest targets for her to start with. Four's class would begin with the close distance set, working their way around the roof until they reached where we stood. I'd started her here first, knowing full well she didn't need to practice the others.

"Ok." She swallows, and I can feel how nervous she is. She looks up at me, beneath long eyelashes and waits until I nod at her. "Are you going to help me?"

"Only if you need it. But I don't think you will," I answer her. I eye the first target, noticing she's slightly off, so I shift her to the side just a bit. "That one first."

She settles back against me, preparing to shoot. I'm pleased when she hits the first three attempts. They aren't perfect; even from a distance it's clear she's off from the center, but she's not far enough off that I would mark her down for it. If she were aiming for a live person, they'd be on the ground.

"Again." I instruct, squeezing my arms around her and making sure she's perfectly in position. Behind us, Four yells at someone, barking at them not to point the guns at each other. They are loaded weapons, but after the War Games, they've forgotten that.

When she hits the next dozen, the bullet holes where I want them, I kick her legs apart further. She's steadied by my arms, and I push her forward a tiny bit.

"Down there. Aim for those three." I point to the set off to the side, a few stories down from us. This set is a group that's meant to be harder, training our snipers to aim with lethal precision.

"Lean forward. Make sure you've got them in sight, make sure your aim is where you want it. Same as before." I remind her as she bends over the railing slightly. She shifts in place, and I follow suit, pressing my hips into hers.

She leans back into me in return.

"I like this position much better." I tease her, enjoying the way she misses the target completely. It makes me laugh, catching her off guard after spending my morning on top of her.

"Again, Amity. This time, try aiming at what you want to shoot."

She looks back at me, a smile threatening even as she shakes her head. She aims the rifle, and I pull her to the side again, bending my head down until my lips touch her ear.

"I'll give you ten points if you hit this one."

She laughs, even though she has no clue how she's being scored or what ten points means, but it doesn't matter. She rests against me, letting me hold her in place, and she closes her eyes for just a moment. I can't imagine what she's thinking, until she opens her mouth.

"Eleven points and I get to sleep in."

She bravely bargains with me right before she shoots, hitting the target directly in the center. Thanks to my training methods, she's far better than I could have hoped. I don't answer her, but I do watch her repeat the action, until I'm sure she's confident in her abilities. Then I step back, reluctantly letting go and resume standing with my arms crossed.

Twenty minutes later, I have no doubts. I'm confident she could hold her own, though under pressure is a different story. But I don't have time to test out that theory. She has an appointment in half an hour, so I yell her name, and she stops just as Four's class changes stations.

He watches her head toward me, and he throws us a frustrated look. For a fleeting moment, I hate that I understand. This particular exercise is crucial and he's scoring them on it, yet they're not taking it as seriously as they need to. I catch Amity smiling briefly, mostly out of sympathy for him- because even she knows his class sucks, and I only smirk when one of his worst initiates drops the entire gun, shattering the scope.

"Enjoy your afternoon," Four mutters with zero enthusiasm in his voice. He isn't speaking to me, and he looks pained he rubs at his forehead.

Behind him, his class scrambles to finish up, shots ringing in the distance long after he yells for them to stop.

 

 

Amity loses her chill when she realizes I'm not taking her home. Maybe she's grown attached to my apartment (an unfortunate thing for her), but I merely mention the word infirmary, and she's back to crashing into me at every turn as though she's lost the ability to walk in a straight line.

"What happens if I don't pass it? Or if they find something?" She continues frantically, painfully reminding me of Christina about to fall into hysterics. All I'd told her was all initiates were required to undergo a physical examination before the next stage of training. It wasn't a big deal. It was to make sure she was healthy, and I had no doubt she was. "What if they find something horribly wrong and I can't go on?"

"Then I guess you'll be factionless." I sound exasperated, and I am. She's clearly never had any sort of medical attention other than here, and for some reason, her naivety bugs me. The exam is nothing invasive, or at least it shouldn't be.

But she hesitates as we approach the infirmary, stopping in front of me so I nearly trip over her, and I push her forward through the doors to the clinic. We're greeted by the last person I'd like to perform this exam, but she'd probably be the quickest and most efficient. I raise an eyebrow as she takes in Amity, her expression completely neutral, despite the fact Amity isn't what one thinks of when they think of Dauntless.

But Arlene doesn't say anything. She glances down at her clipboard, then over at Amity, then back at me. With an odd expression, she then reads the name off the papers I'd turned in.

"Everly Coulter?" Arlene squints at Amity, and I stare back at her, not at all expecting her to read the name out loud.

To protect her, I'd put my last name on the paperwork. Since her name was on Ashley's list, I had the sinking suspicion it could have been flagged. Anything, including something as trivial as a medical exam, would show up in Ashley's email all due to the last name. So, I'd put my own, knowing full well it wouldn't go anywhere.

But the way Arlene says it sounds absurd, like anyone would ever share my last name, and Everly clearly thinks so as well.

She puts her hands on her hips and stares up at Arlene.

"That's not my last name. My last name is Carlen."

Amity sounds adorably insulted, but I doubt she even knows that's my last name. But Arlene certainly does. She purses her lips at me, as though I'm fucking with her, waiting for me to say something. I don't. I know she hates being corrected, and while she was dumb enough to read the wrong last name, she won't admit it.

"Doesn't really matter. And it's too late to change it. Come with me." Arlene throws me a dark look over her glasses, one that tells me this is already starting off on the wrong foot, then gestures for us to follow her. "You as well."

I walk behind Amity, her dark hair bouncing along as she heads to a room in the back.

The infirmary is quiet; I've scheduled her appointment well before Four's class has had the chance to come down here. I didn't want her getting stuck waiting with them, especially since she'd already been here once before. But today is odd; it's a rare, dull day in here, and I know it won't last long.

Once inside the room, Arlene instructs Amity to take off her jacket and boots. She points at the visitor's chair for me to sit in, something toddler sized, and I jam myself into the uncomfortable seat. When I look up, Amity is sitting there, patiently waiting while Arlene takes her temperature. I pull out my tablet, deciding I might as well finish up her scoring so I don't have to do it tonight.

I can hear them talking, Arlene informing Amity of everything she's doing, and Amity sort of hesitantly agreeing though she's probably never heard the word blood pressure in her life.

I tune them out.

I score Everly well, giving her a few extra points where I can. I'm not being gracious in any manner. She picked up everything quickly, and she was proficient at the exercises. I idly scroll through the scores from Four's class, pleased when Amity is still far ahead. The closest ranking initiate to her is Karl, and while I dislike him, I have to admit he's one of the best Four has.

I swipe through a few more pages, catching a glimpse of Arlene bending over Everly, before she sighs in exasperation. I watch her shoulders pull back in irritation, and her posture reeks of annoyance. I've known her for most of my life, and while unfortunate for me, she'd known me since I was born. She'd long worked for Daniel, and for some reason- she chose to come here. Leaving Erudite and trading in her blue scrubs for black ones, Dauntless had meant ultimate authority for her. She was smart, just as sly as they came, and had no patience for anyone's bullshit.

I could respect that she'd whipped our infirmary into shape, pushing out the least knowledgeable ones and making sure we were now fully staffed.

Except she popped up when I didn't need her to, sticking her nose into my business far more than she should have.

"Have you had sex before?"

I look up when she barks at Amity, her words bouncing off the walls of the tiny room.

It's a strange question, one I wouldn't expect for a routine exam, but she yells it again, as though Amity's gone deaf. In that moment, Amity and I lock eyes and she freezes.

I'd spend the past few days with her, all over her. She wasn't the least bit resistant, and in fact, she seemed to enjoy our time together. Right now, she looks delectable, sitting there in a tank top and leggings, her gaze stuck on me and I'm reminded of this morning, when she was pinned beneath me.

It hits me all at once, everything from our time together slowly rising, especially when she bites her lip.

Arlene steps right in front of her, but not before I catch sight of the redness on her face. Arlene says something to her that I can't hear, but Everly answers quietly.

"I have."

She sneaks a look at me. I've long forgotten my paperwork; I'm sitting there with my head cocked, and my eyes narrowed. I take a deep breath as my brain works over the fact that Amity, really- Everly, isn't as innocent as she seems. I'd assumed wrong. The girlish pink dress, the long tangly hair, and the big eyes had fooled me completely.

Arlene pauses with her pen at the top of the page and turns to look at me. Her stare is accusatory, and I don't like it. "Coulter, out of the room."

My gaze snaps over to her, and I jut out my chin in defiance at her order. Across from me, Everly smirks. It's the first time she's ever seen anyone try to boss me around, and it makes it all the worse that it's Arlene.

"Now." Her voice is stern and the expression on her face is serious. I give her this one, squaring my shoulders and smiling coldly at her. I look back at Everly, giving her a once over as though she should look different to me, but she looks the same. Small. Pretty.

Mine.

 

 

I wait for her in the lobby.

Arlene finds me immediately, having stepped out to put in an order for the vaccinations, and she makes a beeline for me. She grabs my arm and tries to yank me after her. I shove her away, but I do follow her a few steps to the side so we're out of Molly's sight. It takes her seconds, maybe three or four, before she starts in.

"Tell me right now, Coulter. Why does she have your last name? Is there something going on? You and I both know her last name is Carlen. Are you sleeping with her? Why is she with you?"

The questions come rapid fire as she stares me down, daring me to tell her something she doesn't already know. I can't think of a single question I want to answer, until she shoves the papers at me and there it is.

Her name, written as Everly Coulter, in my handwriting.

"It's for her own good." I shrug it off, before she can get some dumb idea in her head. "And I'm training her. You know that. I'm sure Max filled you in on that little fact. Don't pretend you don't know what's going on. If anyone questions it, tell them it was a mistake. That I was distracted by Daniel's whining once again."

"Did you talk?" She demands, and I shrug again.

"Who? Everly and me? Sure. I told her she was coming here."

"No, you and your father. Not your trainee with your last name." Arlene answers pointedly.

"Daniel," I emphasize his name, "and I did talk. I told him I didn't have time for dinner."

Arlene looks at me, a very sharp look that tells me she knows better. She sighs heavily, unimpressed with this turn of events. "This girl, this is the one you're training?"

"No, I just brought her here to help Four out. He seemed a little overwhelmed and I wanted to be nice." I retort.

She narrows her own eyes.

"Funny. Whatever she is, I highly suggest you and your…initiate return in a few weeks. She'll need to follow up on her vaccinations. If there's nothing…really going on here, then I assume you'll change her paperwork to the correct name."

I smile widely, fake as ever. "Thank you. I know how confusing that must be for you. Carlen…Coulter. But I'll get right on it. Wouldn't want your files to be incorrect."

She rolls her eyes dismissively, and I turn on my heel.

"I'll wait for her outside. Send her my way when you're done."

Arlene waves me off, then calls out my name, and I hate the knowing look on her face.

"She's a pretty little thing, isn't she? Everly Coulter."

I flip her off, stalking past the check in desk with a sneer on my face.

 

She crashes into me in the hallway.

She's hurrying, rushing along with a funny look on her face, rubbing at her arm. Being injected is new to her, but she'll have to get used to it. She's about to be injected more than a few times, and it won't get any easier than today.

She looks up in surprise when I reach for her, my hands finding her arms, and pulling her away from my chest. I smile down at her, quirking an eyebrow when she doesn't offer up a single word about her appointment. Or her sexual status.

"Well, how did it go?" I ask her cheerfully, letting go and sliding my hands around to cup the back of her arms. She's still facing me, and she smiles brightly.

"Great." She answers, equally cheerful, and her hair falls in her eyes. "It went really great. She said I never have to go back."

Oh, little Amity.

She looks hopeful that I believe her, but I know better.

"Oh, did she." I shrug at her. "Anything else?"

"Nope," She looks straight ahead at my chest, refusing to look up. "Well, she did say I should get some more rest."

I smile crookedly at her and her unwavering dedication to getting out of ever seeing Arlene again. I can't say I blame her. I take pity on her tired little soul, especially when she finally looks up, smiling at me and I decide this is one battle I'll let her win.

"Then I guess we should take you home and get you in bed."

I tighten my grip on her arms, the action unconscious, but fitting. She steps closer to me, and I feel it again, something between us, and I decide right then and there I won't be changing her paperwork at all.


	7. Return to Amity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday!!!
> 
> Thank you SO SUPER MUCH to Bamberlee for editing this chapter AND for taking today off of work (ha) to start working on chapter 8. 
> 
> Thank you so much for everyone following along with Eric's version! Thanks for taking the time to review and let me know what you're looking forward to ;)

She brushes against me on our walk back.

I look at her out of the corner of my eye, noticing a very pleased expression on her face, especially when I don't push her away. I would roll my eyes, but her appointment is stuck in my mind, especially the way her face flushed when she answered Arlene's questions.

I honestly hadn't given much thought to whether or not she'd ever slept with anyone, but I had to admit I was now curious. It was more out of slick, honest interest, because I'd seen the men who chose to live in Amity. They were appropriate, I suppose. If you were into dirty farmers who found showering to be an optional activity.

This whole scenario didn't sit well in my head, and I couldn't help but wonder who she'd messed around with back in Amity.

It also left me internally cringing that I'd dare wonder such a thing.

She was nothing more than my initiate, one who seemed to think it was cute when her hand touched mine, and who'd taken over all my logical thinking. It was fitting, considering she was my responsibility, and the pressure for her to do well was tremendous. Each day, I could feel it chipping away at me, wreaking havoc on the balance in my life. I couldn't decide what was worse: having Jeanine losing her shit on a daily basis, demanding results out of thin air, or having Everly rank in the middle of the group, passing her initiation- but as a nobody.

Even worse, I'd found her to be all too tolerable, and because she was never out of my sight, I'd found her sort of appealing.

Which I shouldn't.

"This way."

I grab her shoulders, turning her to the left when I realize she's about to go the wrong way. She must have believed she was going back to train, because she looks confused when she stares up at me.

"We're really going home?" She asks,

I shake my head, cocking my eyebrow and grinning at her. "Didn't Arlene say you were supposed to go home and rest?"

"She definitely did." Everly happily catches on, pleased with my agreement.

I smirk at her expression; she has no clue we were done for the day anyway, and it was actually later than we'd typically get home. But it didn't matter. I had shit to do, and it was far better for my mental state if I knew where she was. She sticks close to me for the rest of the walk, even when my mood swings suddenly to irritation. In the blur of our morning training together and her appointment, I realize I've forgotten I'm meeting both Rylan and Quinten, and now I'm nearly thirty minutes late. There's no way I can get there in time and make sure Everly and I stick to the schedule we're supposed to be on.

Fuck.

The realization that Everly has, once again, thrown my life off balance hits me hard, and I clench my jaw down, staying silent until we reach the apartment.

I'll have to cancel on Rylan again, and he won't be happy.

 

 

I toss her folder onto the counter.

I hate that Arlene, former head assistant to Daniel in the most advanced faction around, still used the manila folders. They were flimsy, not at all secure, and outdated. Anyone could open it up and look through it and they would be easy to lose. I would have rather Arlene emailed me the report, but she had Molly run the folder out to me, only seconds after I had let go of Amity.

Molly had given me a strange look, probably because Everly Coulter was written in bold letters along the tab of the folder. I knew writing her name as mine was a risky move, but I didn't care. I ignored Molly's stare and took off before she could utter a peep, heading back to my apartment.

Now, I was still irritated.

I shrug off my jacket and stalk into my bedroom. I call Rylan, snappily telling him I won't make it and to see if he can handle it. My assumption was correct. Even though all we're doing is confirming Quinten's budget predictions for the rest of the year, Rylan's voice is full of heavy irritation. I don't apologize, even though I should. I crankily press on, and once we reschedule, I hang up before he can ask what I've been doing.

Then I stand there, sighing heavily, and I throw my phone at the bed, willing it not to ring for the rest of the night. The clock on my nightstand tells me I only have a few hours before dinner, but I've got time for a shower. Thinking that'll turn off my incessant thoughts, I pull my shirt over my head and kick my pants off as I stomp into the bathroom and turn on the shower.

There, I stare at myself while the water warms up, trying to force some order back into my life.

I typically lived a very routine existence, and even when it wasn't, it was by my own choosing. Not because of some maybe five-foot-tall trainee.

I loathed feeling like this, out of control and distracted, but it won't be for much longer.

I remind myself of this as I step in, grabbing shampoo and washing my hair with a vengeance. It feels obnoxiously long, but I haven't had time to get it cut. I should have gone while Everly was busy sleeping or I could have made someone stay late for me, but I'd been too busy playing catch up, trying to balance everything I seemed to forget about the minute Everly needed something.

I close my eyes at the image of her, standing in front of my chest and looking up at me. I reach for the bottle of shower gel, violently squeezing out the soap, and I wash my arms, examining them intently. Despite all our hours of training and fighting, there's not a mark on me.

Except one.

On my side.

Everly had managed to punch me hard enough when I wasn't expecting it, and it had left the faintest bruise that would surely fade in the next few days. I had squinted the first time I saw it, still in disbelief that she'd even gotten close enough to hit me that hard, but also pleased. It meant she'd learned well, and I felt fine with her moving on.

I smirk when I wash it now, thinking of how I'll be done with her soon.

Everly will finish up her training, she'll rank high, I'll gloat in Four's face, and my life will resume as it once was. I can go back to working my normal job, finishing up whatever Jeanine wanted, at least until her next project, then the next, and Everly will…

Will…

Do _something._

I angrily wipe my face off when my eyes open, and the water feels like it's turned ten degrees too cold.

I'm not sure why, but the idea of her not working alongside me presses on a nerve.

It shouldn't.

Do I care what she'll do after she's done? No.

Do I care where she works after she's done? No.

Do I care who she hangs out with once she's done? No.

Except yes, I do.

Very much so.

It hits me as I stand there, thinking of her life after initiation has finished. Despite not having made many friends so far, she'll fit in easily. She's not hard to get along with, and no matter where she goes, she's nice enough that people will like her. They'll find her pretty, sweet. Ambitious. She'll find someone interested in her, and it won't be long before Karl finds her, all alone, and makes his move.

Or maybe it won't be him. It could be anyone. I've seen a few of the other members look at her, waiting for her to be free from me, so they can sink their claws into her. New members were fresh meat to them, and she would be appealing in the sea of darkness. She'd seem like a trophy to them, ripping her away from me, luring her to their drunken, messy lives.

I shouldn't care at all, not one bit, but I do.

I slam the shower gel down, hard enough I'm surprised it doesn't break, and I swear at the mental image of her walking beside someone else. I turn the water off, grabbing a towel, and wipe my face off roughly before I throw the towel on the ground in a fit of rage.

The shower has done little to ease my shitty mood, and neither have my thoughts.

 

 

She has a lot of questions.

She looks over at me from her usual spot on my couch, carefully eating her macaroni and cheese, every so often asking me something about the fear landscapes.

"If you can learn to control your heart rate, isn't that cheating? What would the point of the simulation be?" Her expression is serious, tired despite having been home for a few hours now, and still wracked with worry that she'll fail.

I shake my head no, stabbing at my steak and imagining it's Christina's face.

"No," I answer her, sounding snappy and irritable. Since our walk home, I'd done nothing but mentally agonize over why I was so bothered by her and the thought of her leaving. It was a pointless worry; she wasn't going anywhere anytime soon, but the thought felt heavy in my head.

Even worse, I could barely bring myself to look at her, because in my apartment, it was hard to remember she was my initiate and not someone else. I'd found her to look nice here, like she belonged sitting and eating her dinner beside me. I had become accustomed to her being here at all times, and there was a comfort in walking home with her, knowing she'd stay all night.

I detested the idea that I might want her to stay when I had no real reason to.

I shouldn't feel like this. She was blurring the lines I'd tried to keep between us, and it was pissing me off that I'd let her. Even now, it's hard to look over at her, with her hair down and her feet bare, her head cocked in my direction.

"It's how you work through it." I continue flatly, feeling like I should fill the space with something, but I don't really care. She'll pass the landscape just fine. She's strong and smart, and as long as she doesn't totally panic, she'll do great.

But my answer doesn't appease her, and I can feel her staring while I stab at my dinner.

I ignore her for a minute. When I look up, I'm right. Her stare is locked on me, examining me intently.

"Do you need something, Amity?" I scowl at her, hating that she's looking at me like she's memorizing my face. My dark look works; her gaze drops immediately, and she resumes pushing her salad around her plate.

"When we will start the second part of training?"

"Tomorrow," I answer. I return my stare to the steak in front of me, getting the tiniest speck of delight that it came from her former faction. Everly waits patiently, still worried, and I force myself not to look up until the silence feels like its gone on too long. I hate what I'm about to say next, because leaving her alone with Four is not on my list of things I'd like to happen, but I have no choice.

Considering Max had completely lost his patience with my lack of contact with him.

"Four will assist with the simulation. You'll sit with his class until it's your turn. Try not to get into any fights while you're waiting."

She shrugs her shoulders offhandedly. "I can't make any promises, Coulter."

My heads snaps in her direction. It's the first time I've ever heard her say my last name. I know she's joking, teasing me as though she and I are closer than we should be, and I glare at her.

We aren't close.

We have no reason to be.

"Cute." I bark, and she smiles in return.

Brightly.

Charmingly.

Once again, the look is something I'm seeing more and more. She's opening up, revealing an Everly far different than the one who looks like she's about to die from exhaustion. She looks hopeful in her joking; that this could be something just between us, the same way I'd referred to her as Amity.

I squash her hopes entirely.

"I'm glad you are finding this so funny." I stare her down, until the smile on her face fades away.

She shrinks back into the couch, pushing her hair behind her ear and averting her gaze.

I should feel triumphant in my victory, but instead, my stomach physically hurts at the sight, knowing I caused this reaction. But it was necessary. I put the space back between us, something that had to happen, even though she looks disappointed.

I feel the same way.

"I won't fight anyone, Eric. I promise. I'll keep to myself."

And that's it.

She then stands up, stopping to thank me for making her dinner- so softly that it's worse than if she'd screamed in my face, before her head drops. Her plate is full, but like her grin, her appetite is gone. I sit there while she walks past me, and even I can't help but visibly flinch at the sight before me. While I normally would feel just fine about what had happened, today- I don't.

I look over as she walks to her room, tempted to call out her name so she'll look back. The action is desperate on my part, so I swallow it down, watching until her door shuts.

She doesn't come back out, and I sit on the couch for a long time before I throw my own dinner away.

 

 

"I approved his budget. I figured you wouldn't mind. He said he needed to expand on it so we could order more cheese or something."

Rylan slides into the booth on the opposite side of me, his uniform still on and his expression grumpy at the late hour. He hated cheese, but he hated trying to balance a budget even more. It felt like the factions were always needing more, always pushed to the brink of what could be provided, except for Abnegation. But ours was growing quickly, and Quinten's inquiries were almost always immediately approved, mostly because I didn't see the point in arguing with him.

"Can I get you something?" Rylan glances up at our waitress, one who looks both curious and annoyed at our presence, even more so when he orders a beer that isn't even on the menu.

"Wait…no, I'll have…hold on." He fumbles through the paper menu, skimming the list of meager beers we had here, and I wait for him to decide.

I'd met him out of guilt for forgetting about him.

I'd barely seen him these past weeks, and our normal Friday nights had been put on an unspoken, long term hold.

I glance around while he and Lucy go back and forth, taking in the dark décor.

Clyde's wasn't the only bar in Dauntless, but it was the one we frequented. The others had a bit of a reputation to them, and none of them appealed to me. There was one, right off the Pit, and it was the one all the newest members seemed to flock to. It was often crowded, heavy with lightweight drinkers who were seconds away from puking their guts out. There was one in the Pit, hidden in an alcove that served specialty drinks made with expensive liquors. It was a great way to waste your points on something that tasted like utter shit, but it was a good place if you were looking for a hookup.

Then there was here; an underground cavern, converted to look like…something, maybe something from a time before that someone remembered and had a fondness for. It had crappy, dark wood flooring, dim lighting that came only from lanterns, and rickety tables. The floor was always sticky, the food was slightly better than the mess hall, and you could sit for hours without anyone bothering you. They didn't play shitty music, the waitstaff was older, lazier unless it was super busy, and they recognized us enough to know how much to bug us for our orders.

Lucy waits until Rylan finally finds the beer he wants, and once he orders, she takes off without commenting. Our alcohol selection was limited, coming exclusively from Amity. Erudite spent months working to recreate the steps in their labs, but their results were terrible. So, we drank whatever the Amity faction made, often being subjected to their latest whims.

I stayed away from most of it.

Today, I order some whiskey and a glass of water, and I have to remind Rylan that I have not only Everly's fear landscape, but meetings tomorrow that he's supposed to attend as well.

"Fuck them, dude. Order another drink. Live a little." He shoves the menu at me, sloppily printed on scratch paper, and I shake my head. "What's wrong with you? You look…" Rylan pauses, choosing his next word very carefully. "Weird."

"Weird?" I answer flatly, staring past him. "Wow, thanks."

"Not weird. I mean, actually, yes- weird. Like you look miserable and you said you were going to bed and then you changed your mind and called me, but you don't look like you want to be here." Rylan stumbles over his words, crossing his arms over his chest. "Is it the girl you're training? Jason said he thought she was a pain in the ass. He said she sucked so bad you were working all the time to make sure she passed. I don't know why he'd know that and I wouldn't. But is that it? Is she going to pass?"

"She'll pass."

My answer is duller than I intend it to be, and I shift in my chair, kicking the table leg. Jason has barely seen Everly, and unless he's been pouring over the security tapes, I'm positive he hasn't seen her training.

"Eric?" Rylan questions.

I clear my throat and stare over his shoulder. I'm hesitant to bring up anything about Everly, because she's the reason I feel so off kilter.

"Is she any good? Really?"

"She's fine." I feel a wave of annoyance, because I'm keeping this from him. In theory, he'd be the perfect confidant. I know if I told him what I was thinking, he wouldn't say a word to anyone. But saying anything to him about her felt risky, almost like a betrayal on my part. I can still picture her face, the minute she stopped smiling, and I swallow down the image before I blurt it out to him.

Once again, it all comes back to her.

I make the snap decision not to let her affect how I feel. Amity's hurt feelings shouldn't bother me, and she should keep to herself. I don't need her winding up getting hurt all over again, and Four's class was nothing but an opportunity for that to happen.

"She's worked hard. She'll rank right where I want her to. What about you? How's your…that girl you were sleeping with?"

He stares at me like he doesn't believe me, but he perks up almost instantly.

"That girl? You mean Christina." He grins, and he looks considerably happier than seconds ago. "She's good. She only turned me down twice this week. I said we could go down with Jason and Megan to the market thing, but she didn't want to."

"Why?" I ask, but I don't care. Christina should love the market, because it's stupid and full of dumb shit to buy, but her name only reminds me of Everly. "Isn't that right up her alley?"

"You would think so." Rylan looks up as Lucy drops off our drinks. "She said she and Tris were doing something fun. I think it's a lie, but whatever. She'll come around."

"Sure." I answer, taking my own drink, and trying to ignore Tris' name. She was forever associated with Four, and therefore, I disliked her as much as him. "Good luck with that. Here's to your next attempt to drag her along to dig through used furniture and sketchy looking food."

I hold my glass up and Rylan clinks his against mine, laughing because he knows I'm right. His mood grows considerably better as the night stretches on, especially when she responds to his text. For a few furious minutes they go back and forth, and I watch him pathetically engrossed in Christina. He eventually puts his phone down flat on the table, grinning and telling me they've officially made plans to go to dinner.

"Sounds thrilling." I mock him, and he mocks me right back.

"You could always join us, you know. You never know who she'll bring."

"Pass, but thanks." I take another sip of my drink, forgetting about my own crappy evening, until Rylan's phone lights up again, this time with a familiar name.

"Oh hey, it's your Dad. I called him to see if he was stopping by anytime soon. I invited him for lunch. I have something to give him." Rylan picks up the phone, and the words die when he sees my expression. He pauses in midair, lets the phone keep ringing, then turns his phone over so I can't see the name.

As if that will make it all better.

"It's nothing major. I just…I found this book I borrowed from him forever ago, and I wanted to give it back."

I shrug, not caring, but not wanting to squash his hopes of Daniel showing up to anything. "Sure. I'm more than certain he'll stop by if you ask him to."

Rylan nods, but the look on his face tells me he feels shitty, and even shittier is that my words are a lie. Daniel won't show up at all; something will come up, keeping him in his own faction, glued to his patients and staff.

"I know you don't want to see him, but if he does show, maybe we could all eat lunch. I'm sure he'd love to hear about whoever you're training. I just uh, I wanted to give him the first book back, and I thought maybe he'd want to see us."

Rylan tries very hard, very, very hard, to speak slowly so I don't kill him. He's well aware of my feelings toward Daniel, but that's never stopped him from being polite to him. I know exactly which book he is talking about, and it doesn't sit well with me. They both shared a love of reading this stupid series, one Daniel had tried to force upon me ages ago. When I was maybe ten, he'd left the book in my room, a juvenile tale I had zero interest in reading, and it was obvious it was nothing but a pathetic attempt to force a connection between us.

I'd thrown the book in the trash, but Rylan had found it, and he was soon oddly obsessed.

"You know, it's not a bad series. There's a lot of action and some of the later ones are pretty dark." He looks right at me, and I stare back at him. He knows I'd never read it, but he's always offered to lend me the series.

I had skimmed it. Once. Before throwing it away.

"I'm good, thanks." I smile tightly, not wanting to dislike the only real friend I've ever had, and I wave Lucy over. "Unfortunately, I should get going."

"Yeah, okay." He agrees, and he takes the tab from a well-trained Lucy. "Your drink's on me. Thanks for coming down here. I hope she does well tomorrow."

"Thanks," I mutter, mentally adding 'me too' in my head. "I'm sure it'll be fine. I'd prefer not to leave her with Four's class, but it's not up to me. Max must be bored this week."

"You could always watch them during the meeting. I doubt Max would notice." Rylan reminds me, adding a tip to Lucy's tab and setting it on the table. "I also doubt anything will happen during the simulations, except for a lot of crying. But maybe have Jason record the area. He's working with Kacie tomorrow instead of coming with us."

"I'll check into it."

I stand up when he does, ignoring his phone lighting up again. Daniel must be leaving the hospital or bored out of his skull listening to Blythe nag at him. Either way, Rylan doesn't answer it, at least not in my presence. We walk out without mentioning it, but I can't shake the gross feeling that Daniel won't show up for Rylan, either.

 

 

She looks up at me, her hair falling into her eyes, and I hold her stare.

I had barely spoken to her since she went to bed last night. Our walk here was silent, and she stayed away from me. I'd looked over at her once, and her crossed arms and slumping shoulders told me she was well aware she should stay clear of me. I should have said something, but I didn't.

Now, she's minutes away from her simulation. This is the first time Four will score her instead of me, and my natural inclination is to stay and watch and make sure it's done right. Though he's done this countless times, I can't be so sure he won't fuck it up on purpose so she has to redo it.

"One minute."

Four calls out sternly, his words hinting that I needed to get started or get out. He knows I'm lingering, doing nothing of any real value besides stalling. My mind is screaming to stay here, coming up with the idea that she can't do this without me, but I know she can. In fact, she'll probably do better than most. She's calm, not easily rattled, and if she can handle training with me, she can handle working through her fears.

Except I don't know what her fears are, and there's absolutely nothing I could have done to predict them. If I had to guess, I'd assume they'd be the normal ones we saw each time: something about her parents – either their death or their disapproval, maybe a fear of heights, the dark was always a popular one, or maybe the sickening feeling of being doubted by the ones you thought believed in you. Spiders, birds pecking your eyes out, and sometimes being held under water, all of those could come up as well.

"Eric? Are you staying?"

She asks me quietly, so Four can't hear her.

I look down, noticing her eyes are different now, a darker green than they were before. I stare at her for a second, mentally reminding her she's fine, then I move the hair off her neck so I can inject her. Four had offered to take over completely, but I saw no good reason to let him touch her.

"It'll take a few minutes to go into effect. Don't panic, just go with whatever happens."

I respond just as quietly, my fingers staying on her exposed skin. She's warm and soft, and she's still looking at me when I tear my gaze away from her. I focus on the injection site, knowing exactly where to place the needle, and I try to work quickly so it's over soon.

Everly jumps slightly when the needle is inserted, and she fights back a shiver when I push the serum through the syringe. I watch her for a reaction, knowing she's feeling the scorching burn that takes place moments after it hits her veins.

"Are we good?" Four asks, done messing with something on the computer. He wasn't thrilled to have me in here, and I knew he was anxious for me to leave.

So, I purposely don't answer him. I keep my focus on her, and I watch as it slowly begins to kick in. Her eyes start to close, and there's an initial jolt of panic as the serum takes over. She's feeling it course through her veins: a slow, dragging sensation of being pulled downward through haziness. Eventually, it will give way to a clear and vibrant scenario, bursting right in front of her. It will be jarring, and I am hoping she is prepared.

She blinks at me slowly, still trying hard to focus, but I'm sure I'm blurring before her eyes.

"You'll do fine. Good luck, Amity."

I smile tightly at her, doubtful she can see or hear me. The serum is almost in full effect now, and her eyes slowly shut.

Next to me, Four clears his throat.

"Are you staying?" He asks, pointedly, and I step away from Everly.

I give him one long, hard look, one that silently tells him nothing better go wrong this time, and I turn around.

"No."

With that, I throw one final glance back at her before I head out to my office.

 

 

Of course, Daniel doesn't come through with his promise.

Rylan throws the book on my desk, disappointment heavy in his grim smile.

"He uh, had to work over some time or something. Totally backpedaled. He said he wasn't sure when he could come by, so, maybe you should just give it to him. You'll probably see him before I will."

He sounds defeated, but he shouldn't be, considering Daniel had never been able to keep his word. Rylan should know Daniel's work had always come first and always would. I dredge up the smallest speck of sympathy for him, since Rylan had always liked him. He preferred him over his own absentee father, but Daniel wasn't really any better.

He was just kinder at letting you down.

"Shocking that he'd cancel. But I'll give it to him. I'll tell him you gave it to me since he wasn't able to make it. He'll get the hint." I pick up the book, looking at the colorful cover mocking me, and I feel my face scrunch up. "Really. Wizards?"

"Don't knock it until you've read it. I still think you'd like it. It's the first one in the series. But I found the whole set at the market, so I wanted to give him this one." Rylan doesn't even look sheepish; he looks utterly thrilled at his find and he grins at me like a lunatic. I raise an eyebrow at him, and I certainly hope Christina likes dressing up like a witch in her free time.

"It looks riveting." I dryly answer, having no intention of ever reopening the book. I'd like to chuck in the trash can once again, but Rylan is waiting for me to leave with him, so I put it on my desk.

"Shut up. Don't be such a pretentious fuck. You ready?"

"I am." I stand up to follow him, into another fucking meeting about factional safety, only this time, Max makes a point to assign me to meet with Johanna.

 

I return home to an empty apartment.

I stand in the living room confused, wondering where on Earth my initiate had vanished to. I had spent most of my meeting speculating how Everly's fear landscape had gone. I'd calculated my own fear landscape results and tried to think what a tiny little girl from Amity could be afraid of. When I came up with nothing substantial, I then tried repeatedly to pull the scores, but unlike me, Four waited until he'd gone through every single initiate to do his paperwork. Probably because he had more than one and used that to justify his laziness. I could admit it was a long day for him, but I loathed thinking he wouldn't get around to posting their scores until later.

I hated the thought that he was in charge of this section and there was nothing I could do about it.

So, I'd sat, toying with my tablet, refreshing the screen over and over, and eventually watching the thing die until Max assigned all of us a faction to visit. His grin told me he thought he was slick and hilarious when he assigned me the Amity faction, and Jason's snicker only confirmed this. I didn't react at all, I simply texted Rylan and told him to trade me factions.

To my surprise, he shook his head.

_Max said you'd want to trade. He said he'd dock me points if I did, and I'm not losing my paycheck so you can go to the nicer factions. Sorry. I'm going to Erudite. I might stop by and see my Mom. She said she wasn't feeling well._

I'd glared at him and his text, but I didn't press the issue. Johanna was boring and useless, but more than likely, she'd give in to whatever we needed to do because she knew better than to go against us. The thought of going there was unpleasant, but it could be worse.

I'd thought about it the entire walk back, and now I couldn't even find Amity. I assumed she'd walk home after her landscape was over. I hadn't told her what to do after the simulation, because I didn't know how she'd react. Some initiates wound up sick, some wound up hysterical, and some needed time alone to process their fears.

I could only imagine she'd want to head home immediately, grateful she could escape into the quiet solitude of my apartment.

But now that I was here, I couldn't find her.

My phone dings before I can move, and I quickly check it. To my delight, it's the scores from this afternoon. Four has managed to enter them earlier than expected, and I'm relieved to see she's ranked very high. Higher than anyone else. I skim the others looking for a few familiar names, and when I'm satisfied, I shove my phone back into my pocket, intending to find Amity and ask what she wants for dinner. It wouldn't be a celebration of surpassing Four's class per se, but we could have something nicer than pasta to acknowledge the fact she'd done well.

I check the guest room, thinking maybe she's taking a shower or maybe she's trying to pull herself together. But her room is empty and so is her bathroom, not even a single sign she'd been in there. I walk out, scanning the living room and kitchen, and I feel a strange sensation, something I assume is panic, like I've lost her.

How on Earth could I not know where she is? I know everything that goes on in Dauntless. While unlikely, it was possible she'd gotten turned around. Dauntless was huge; it was sprawling and complicated, and some of our hallways made no sense. I doubt Amity went out for a good time with friends, and I couldn't picture her joining Four's class after my warning.

I turn on my heel to head into my own bedroom, frustrated and ready to call Jason and have him look through the security feed to see where she went, but I stop when my eyes narrow on my bedroom door.

Well, I'll be damned.

My door is halfway shut, though I had most certainly left it open when I left this morning. I tilt my head to the side and walk slowly, opening it up just enough to look in.

It takes a second for my eyes to adjust, but the sight before me is no surprise.

 

 

I shove her shoulder, and when she doesn't move, I resort to the juvenile manner of yanking on the ends of her hair. She'd braided it this morning, something complicated and ugly that reminded me of the terrible hippies I'd seen standing alongside the roads by Amity, but luckily, it had managed to come undone by the time she'd walked to the simulation room. Now, it's a total mess, falling everywhere after sleeping in my bed for the entire evening.

I'd benevolently given her time to sleep off the simulation, but by ten, I had grown antsy when she hadn't moved.

"Amity…wake up."

I call out her name, fully prepared to give her even more shit for this. I found it highly amusing that I was right, she really couldn't stay out of my bed. I should have expected the simulation would leave her emotionally exhausted, but I hadn't thought she'd be so tired she'd collapse back into my bed. Yet there she was, having curled herself into the same spot as before, as if this were where she felt safest.

She'd even tossed her clothes in almost the same spot as last time.

"Amity," I say her name again, and she wakes up in the slightest, attempting to push me away. I push her back, enjoying the way she squints her eyes shut tighter, then turns to bury herself back in my bed.

"Go away. I'm tired," she mumbles into my pillow.

I smile darkly.

I don't go away, for this is my room. I resume trying to wake her up, and she has the audacity to try to smack me away from her again.

Cute.

"Everly." I say her name loudly, sounding exasperated, even though this is rather humorous to me. But it shouldn't be. She shouldn't be in here. It's clear she prefers this bed to her own, but I need to move her. This is becoming an all too frequent occurrence, and it wouldn't be long before things were complicated even further.

Fantastic.

My mental debate wears on, and I let out a long sigh when I realize there is no great solution to this problem.

Except for the one I want.

I finally leave her alone, stepping away from the bed to pull off my shirt. I toss the black fabric aside, so it lands by her clothes, then I kick off my boots and pants and head into the bathroom to brush my teeth.

There is no doubt I should move her. I'm not about to sleep on the couch again, and if I leave her in my bed by herself, I might as well tell her to schedule her own training classes and fill me in on what she'd like to do. But not moving her has a strange appeal to it, and as I spit out my toothpaste, I figure- why fight what's running through my mind. I'd spent my entire day preoccupied with the thought of her, so perhaps if I indulge myself in it, it'll go away.

It makes sense to me.

I couldn't get her out of my head, so maybe the reality of her would be enough to dissuade me.

I walk to my side of the bed, the one Amity prefers to sleep on, and I smirk at her tiny form. She looks beyond comfortable with my comforter pulled around her, and her head- once again- on my favorite pillow. I linger for a moment, kicking her shoes out of the way before I head around to the other side and climb in beside her.

I stretch out lazily.

I let myself sink into the bed as the weight of the day falls away. It's not hard to make myself comfortable even though this side feels strange to sleep on. I cross my feet at my ankles and put my hands behind my head, then, I close my eyes.

It feels glorious to lie down after this day, and it feels even more delightful when Amity moves. She's woken up grumpily from my movement, unhappy to be jarred back out of her deep sleep. I open my eyes to see hers fly open, not at all expecting to see me beside her.

"What are you doing?" She sits up a bit and stares at me. Her gaze isn't at all subtle; she takes in the sight of me, all of me- far more undressed than she's ever seen- and I can see her holding her breath when she gets to my boxers.

I have to admit, she looks down right alluring with her eyes on the waistband of my boxers.

Amity has always looked like Amity to me; long black hair that was always escaping whatever she'd done to it, big eyes, clear skin, and delicate features that weren't at all like mine. She was sweeter looking than most in Dauntless, lovelier than most in Amity, and best of all- her eyes were always on me.

Always.

I noticed her stare when she thought I wasn't looking, and I noticed her smiles when she figured out I was proud of her.

And I was proud of her.

She'd come far, very far from the girl in the pink sundress, showing me just how funny she could be, and how smart she was. I liked her determination to never give up, the way she easily handled what was given to her, and the way she looked next to me.

And now, I liked her in my bed.

She may still look like Amity, but it would be very easy to imagine her beside me every night.

Because lying in my bed beside me, she looks different. Not like an immature initiate, getting wasted with their class. Not like Ashley, trying to seduce me into letting her spend the night.

Like someone I'd want to push beneath me, letting my fingers explore more than her neck.

As if she can read my thoughts, she swallows, her own fingers digging into the sheets when I look at her. I grin lazily at her expression, and she tries to recover by pushing her hair out of her eyes.

"I'm going to sleep," I answer her innocently, keeping my eyes on her.

She frowns, not at all amused by my reply.

"Get out," she demands, totally unaware of where she is. It only makes the fact she's in the wrong bed that much funnier.

"No," I retort, further making myself comfortable. If she would lie back down and go to sleep, it wouldn't take me long to drift off. But she doesn't; she pushes herself up even more, dragging her stare up my chest until she reaches my eyes.

"This isn't funny, Eric. I'm tired and I want to go to sleep." She sounds daringly sulky from my own side of the bed.

I take the opportunity to turn over onto my side so I'm facing her completely. I admire the sight before me, noticing she's mere inches away from me in this position. Her tiny frame makes our size difference even more apparent, more noticeable even after all this time training together. She's still mostly beneath my covers, and I can see the exhaustion lingering behind her eyes. I know it won't take much for her to go back to sleep, and I make the decision to let her get a good night's rest.

After all, she's earned it.

"Then go back to sleep."

She blinks.

"I will. After you get out of my bed." Amity tries to sound authoritative, but it sounds like Four trying to direct his class. I let out a bark of laughter, entertained by her once again. I can't tell if she's messing with me, or truly unaware of her subconscious desire to sleep in here.

"Oh, little Amity. Maybe after you pass your initiation you'll learn which bedroom is actually yours."

She sits up abruptly.

The strap of her tank top slides down, the flimsy fabric giving way to her movement. I stare at her, watching her trying to fix the shirt as though it's fallen completely off.

It might as well have.

Her exposed shoulder is enough to make me stare at her like I've never seen someone's arm before.

"What are you talking about?" She glances around the room quickly and shuts her eyes in disbelief. "Oh, shit."

I do smirk at her swearing; her expression is horrified, but not horrified enough to get up. She looks at my boots by the door, my vest on the dresser, then back to my bare chest.

"No," she shakes her head, "This isn't happening."

I laugh at her, finding great delight in the way she's still in the wrong room, in the wrong bed. For someone who's just realized where she is, she's awfully stuck.

She knows it, too.

"This isn't funny, Eric. I didn't mean…" She protests, looking up from beneath her bangs.

I respond by sticking out my lower lip in mockery of her.

"I find it hilarious." I tell her gleefully. "You just can't seem to stay out of my bed, now can you? You know, I told you all you had to do was ask."

I like teasing her, even more so when her cheeks redden. She's just as close as she was during the War Games, and just as delightful looking. I lower my stare from her eyes, the panic slowly vanishing as she realizes I'm not entirely furious she's in here, and I let it drop to her mouth. Her lips are full, and she pulls the lower one between her teeth. I watch her for a second, feeling the way her breathing is sort of erratic, and I return my stare to her eyes.

They are dark.

I can tell, now that the panic is gone from her, she wants to stay right where she is. I can see her struggling with it, well aware she shouldn't be in here. She knows her sleeping beside me, accidentally winding up in my bed multiple times, and whatever is transpiring between us isn't at all appropriate.

"Eric…"

She says my hesitantly, but it sounds delectable.

I suddenly imagine her gasping it, groaning it, whispering it in an entirely different manner. I find myself consumed by the idea of her, with me, her bare skin against mine, pale against the dark sheets as I hover over her.

"I should…"

She's mumbling something, not actually saying any words that mean anything. Her hesitation tells me she doesn't want to leave any more than I want her to, and the realization is a rush to my head. I let myself feel it, the absurdly lucious sensation of wanting her, and my head bends toward her. My forehead touches hers for but a second, and her lips part to say something.

I can only imagine what she has planned to say.

Except nothing comes out.

I stay still, so still I swear I can feel her pulse beneath her skin. I know she's warm, and she'll be even warmer after sleeping next to me.

The thought is so blinding that I pull back away from her, deciding to stick with my decision. I settle so I'm lying down, and I close my eyes, letting the vision of her beside me fade away.

"Go to sleep, Amity. We're up first tomorrow."

I feel her sit up, the decision now hanging over her head. I've gifted her an open invitation and placed it in her palms. She knows what the correct choice is, and it's for her to get out while she can. Sleeping beside me for the night may grant her what she's been looking for; a warm, dreamily deep sleep where she's finally able to relax, but it won't be enough. She'll feel safe in my bed, knowing it's just her and me, and she'll find the relief from her fear simulation she's looking for.

But there's more beneath the surface.

She knows if she stays, this shift between us will deepen, and it'll no longer be easy to pretend it didn't happen.

I can feel it seeping from her skin, the desperate want to lie beside me, because I feel it bubbling beneath my own. I want her to stay, to lie back down and go to sleep, for this is where she belongs. I'd spent my past few days frantic with the thought of her, the image of her slipping into every corner of my mind, so it felt right for her to stay.

I take a slow, deep breath in, and I close my eyes as she makes her decision.

It takes her mere seconds to lie down, curling back into my pillow, and she falls asleep almost immediately.

 

 

I wake up well before her.

I blink slowly, unprepared for the feeling of her next to me. Sometime during the night, she'd sought out the warmth she's been looking for since she arrived, and she'd found it right beside her.

I don't move.

I lie there, letting myself feel her body against mine.

For the first time since coming here, she is warm, but only because of me. Her head is on my chest, and her arm is slung over me. She's curled herself into me as though she's slept this way every night, as though I am not the person who's been working her to death for weeks. One of her legs is shoved through mine, more of my bodyweight resting on her to hold her in place, and her hips press into mine.

I still don't move.

She'd slept in only a tank top and her underwear, and my fingers rest against the warmest part of her lower back.

I screw my eyes shut.

Unlike every moment spent with Ashley, this is not something I'm used to. There's a hint of intimacy here; Everly's lower body intertwined with mine, combined with the way she sleeps so easily against me, and her naked skin touching mine.

This isn't exactly dissuading me from anything.

Self-indulgence was something in which I rarely partook, and this was the perfect example of why.

I'd been indulgent with Ashley, fucking her when I wanted to, and getting my way. I'd been indulgent in keeping to myself, retreating when I was done with those around me. I was indulgent in who I chose as my company, living a life I'd carefully crafted here. Part of my self-indulgence was never letting anyone get too close to me, for I had no reason to.

But Everly was the ultimate self-indulgence.

It made it all the worse that she was my initiate. She wouldn't be forever, but for now, I was responsible for her as a future member, not as someone to share my bed with.

As if she can sense my thoughts, she moves, pushing herself closer into me. I can tell this could be routine with her if I allowed her. I get the impression she'd happily sleep against me, finally warm and content, completely fine with what I could offer her.

When her fingers dig into my chest, I give in even further, unconsciously sliding my fingers through her hair, until my hand cups the back of her head. This time there is no bump, only soft strands and a quiet sigh from her.

She moves her legs, seeking to push us even further together, and I dig my fingers into her hair. Everly breathes slowly, falling back into her deep sleep, and the sensation lulls me to shut my eyes. I'm still tired, and just as easily as she gave in to sleeping here, I give in to falling asleep with her.

I'm fucked.

Truly, and royally fucked.

It's the last thing I think as I drift off.

 

 

"Again, Amity." I hiss lowly at her, watching as she takes the correct stance to prepare to fight.

She's got a determined look on her face, but when our eyes meet, there's a glint of something there, something underlying and sly and not at all related to her training.

This morning was going entirely differently than I'd planned.

I'd woken up in quite the predicament.

After a night of her warm body entangled with my own, I'd woken up painfully aroused. Unbearably turned on, but it was inevitable. It had been weeks since I'd slept with Ashley, weeks since I'd done anything but push Amity to pass initiation, and all of my time had gone to training her. She was all I thought about, she'd consumed my life to the point where I hadn't had a second to myself. Even when she was sleeping, I'd spent my time trying to catch up on work.

Which led to my frustration as I tried to slide my legs out from under hers.

So far, I'd been able to dismiss the more alluring thoughts of her because I was busy, but waking up to her body flush against mine had pushed me over the edge. I'd quickly untangled myself from her, forcing myself to ignore the sight of her half-dressed, and I'd headed straight for the shower. There was no point in staying in bed, and if she woke up with me hard against her thigh, the tables would be turned.

It would go straight to her head.

I didn't need her thinking she had anything over me.

So, I showered in icy water, thinking of Jeanine ramming her demands down my throat, and tried to forget about my night. To my dismay, my thinking had been completely off base. Having her sleep next to me had been stupid on my part, and it wouldn't happen again.

She'd woken up as I made coffee, and I'd let her sleep in without waking her up to train. Neither of us spoke a word about where she'd slept, and she'd gotten dressed in her own room. She appeared ready as ever, smiling as she took the cup from me.

She's still smiling now, not as brightly, but something more satisfied.

She'd gotten her way; she'd gotten the sleep she needed, and now, she was happy and ready to fight against me. Gone was the exhaustion, the weariness behind her eyes, and the tiredness in her posture. She was alive again, her skin flushed, and her head held high and it was a drastic change.

"You sure about that?" I eye her critically, but she smirks.

She's well trained by me, and her stance is perfect. It's later in the afternoon, and we'd gotten a slower start than I'd like, but she'd made up for it by working hard. For the most part, we were the only ones in here. Since Four was in charge of the simulations, his class wasn't continuing their combat training. There were too many of them for him to get through, and instead, they were given time to work on their own. They should have followed my and Everly's lead and continued training, but most chose not to.

They were, however, hanging around the training room, glowering and sulking every time they walked past us. A few of them mumbled under their breath, grumbling that Everly was still getting a better training. They weren't all that quiet about it, and I wanted to snidely point out they were right.

We could have taken a break, but Everly had the luxury of being pushed this entire time, and there was no reason for us to stop now.

I can tell it's all paid off, because her fighting has come a long way. She nods her head ever so slightly, then lunges toward me, punching quickly. I dodge her first one, but she hits my side, then my stomach. I may have let her have the last one. But her face lights up when I stumble a step, and she smiles in delight.

It's been like this all morning.

I was distracted. I kept looking at her, thinking of her sleeping against me. Her body against mine, her hair spilling down my arm, her legs wrapped around my own. I kept imagining what would happen if it continued, or what might have transpired if I'd stayed in bed with her. I can tell her own head is in the clouds, because she's staring at my chest, and it gives me the perfect opportunity to knock her down.

I pin her easily, my hips holding hers in place, and I hold one of her hands above her head. She doesn't move, doesn't fight me off, and she certainly doesn't look too upset to be beneath me like this.

"Okay, I'll give you that one."

She says the words jokingly, and I realize I'm nearly panting over her, my breathing having grown heavy. She might be good, but I shouldn't be having a hard time forcing air into my lungs. I jerk up from her, and I stare at the mat behind her.

Fuck.

"Again." I bark, and she scrambles up immediately. We both lock eyes, and I only look away to take in the sight of her before me. She's dressed in leggings and a fitted tank top, a far cry from the clothes she'd started in. In this outfit there is no hiding her lithe body, nor the curves that were masked by the oversized shirts.

She stares at me, her own breathing erratic, before she nods. "Okay, when do you want…"

She starts to stay something, but I attack, fueled by the mere sight of her. My intent is purely to make sure she's up to par, but her body slamming into mine isn't off putting. She keeps up, working hard to fight me off, eventually hitting my head hard enough that I blink in surprise.

"Well aren't you lucky." I smirk at her, and she smirks right back.

The next half hour passes by in a blur, and by the time we are done, I'm confident in her abilities. I am sweatier than I've ever been while training with her, and so is she. Her hair is trashed, the strands having mostly come out of her braid, and her tank top is a shade darker, drenched in sweat.

Behind her, a few from Four's class have gathered, watching her with angry stares. They'd watched our fight, some looking impressed and some looking annoyed, but they'd stayed a careful distance from us.

I choose not to acknowledge their existence.

"Good job, Amity," I sneer at her, watching her limp away from the mat toward her water. She's done well, well enough to earn my rare praise. I'm impressed with her fighting, and even I can admit she'd handle an opponent well.

"Thanks, Dauntless," She mutters back, gleefully gulping down her water. "Are we done for the day?"

I walk over to her, enjoying the pleasant burn from my workout, and I wipe my forehead off with my arm. I am confident in how our afternoon went, and I decide to grant her a reprieve from her training.

"We are. I thought we'd go shower and have dinner," I answer, but I'm looking over her. The boys have crept closer, a few more straggling into the room, and they are not quite as smart. One of them overhears our exchange, and he grins as though my words are hilarious.

"How romantic," He snickers, stupidly braver than normal.

I immediately turn my stare to him, my eyes narrowing at his laughter. I step past Everly and toward him, already having decided to make an example of his stupidity. Had he been paying attention, he'd have noticed Everly had worked far harder than him, and there was a reason I'd kept training her.

He'll be the perfect candidate to show his friends why I didn't want anything to do with them.

"Is there a problem, initiate?" My voice is low, lethal, and murderous as I approach him. He has no clue how easy it would be for me to drag him by his hair, to make sure he took his last breath by my hands, or to send him out to be factionless.

Or maybe he does.

He freezes in place and his eyes widen in horror. I'm sure he's regretting saying anything out loud, because the cost of looking cool in front of his friends means my attention is now on him.

"Hey, I'm… I mean…no." Derek fumbles, the word vomit spewing everywhere. He tries to apologize, and it only makes me dislike him more. "I'm sorry…I was…leaving."

"Why don't you come over here." I goad him, keeping my eyes glued to him. The painful realization of his error has hit him, and he looks ill as he walks toward me. He stops a few feet away, his gaze swinging from Everly behind me, then back to me.

I eye him carefully. I could easily beat the shit out of him, but I have a better option, something far more humiliating than me punishing him.

"I have an idea. Since you all seem so curious as to what's going on over here, why don't you and Everly fight a round together. Let's see who's been paying attention during training, shall we?"

"But we're done with combat! We're on to fear simulations!" His protest is weak and frantic, and Everly takes a step closer to me. She's staring at him with recognition on her face, and she crosses her arms over her chest as though she knows him.

He flinches under her gaze, gaping at her as though she's seven feet tall and nothing but pure muscle.

"Then this should be easy for you. Since you've already passed combat with flying colors. Unless your friend wants to take your place?" I nastily bark at him, and the boy's friend shakes his head nervously.

"Fine." He agrees, swallowing down pure terror. He looks around furiously, maybe waiting for Four to save him, and I smirk when he miserably marches into the center of the ring.

I turn to find Everly right behind me, and I nod at her to go join him. I have no doubt she'll win this fight, and I'm pleased to say she doesn't look nervous at all. She and I lock eyes, green stuck on grey, and I catch her arm as she strides past me.

I bend my head down, my lips grazing her ear, and I hiss something at her, for only her to hear.

She doesn't need an incentive to win, but this will only sweeten the deal all the way around, giving her just one more reason to take Derek down.

"Beat him in this fight, and you can sleep in my bed for the rest of your training."


	8. Amity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! Hopefully, it's still Friday wherever you are ;)
> 
> A major thank you to Bamberlee for editing this chapter. 
> 
> I'd recommend reading chapter eight of The Training along with this one!

I shove her forward.

I don't wait for her reaction, nor do I want to. Last night told me plenty about her, and I now knew that she was cold. That she'd slept like shit in the guest room. That next to me, she was happy and content, finally warm. Sleeping beside me was a prize she wouldn't want to turn down, especially now.

I also knew she'd kick Derek's ass and it would be incredibly enjoyable for me to watch. This little shit has been eyeing her this entire time, and his mouthiness is finally getting the best of him. He'd spoken at the worst time possible, his words slicing the bubble of hard work and privacy Everly and I had been in. He was ignorant to think I'd let it go, and even dumber to think I'd ignore what he said.

He felt like the start of an epidemic. Four's class was on my very last nerve, not just because they were after Everly. Their constant concern over what I was doing was extremely annoying, and Four had done little to squelch it. He would say he'd tried, doing his best to redirect their attention to what they should be doing. But it wasn't enough, and it was only growing by the day.

This boy, Derek, would be an outstanding example of why not to cross me. Not only to his peers, but to Four.

"Go."

She takes off, her eyes trained on her opponent, and she pulls her shoulders back. I like her mental preparation. She's nowhere near as tall as him, and in theory- he should easily win against her. But she's undeterred. I watch as she approaches him, sizing him up and down, before her expression changes to a confident smirk.

He panics.

For someone who's been so vocal about how subpar his instructor is, Derek has little confidence in himself. The expression on his face is utter fear as she steps closer, cocking her head to the side and waiting for him to move first. She's playing him, giving him the chance to come to her, and I feel a rush of arrogance when he looks over at me, throwing one final pleading stare my way.

It's his second mistake.

Everly takes off, smashing her fist into the side of his head. He's unprepared; his own thinking is to blame, and so is his lack of discipline. Four might have shown him how to fight and defend himself, but in this moment, he retains nothing. She hits him again, her second blow hitting his nose, and he tries to get away from her like the coward he is.

She doesn't stop.

It becomes clear she'll win.

Easily.

She goes after him, her third punch causing a loud crunching sound as she hits his jaw, and he collapses immediately. She takes advantage of his position, pinning him down as though he's far smaller than her, and she only hesitates for the briefest of seconds. She says something to him that I don't catch, and I'm surprised to find there's some vengeance in her. But she smiles at him ever so sweetly, before she returns to punching his head.

I can't look away.

I am scoring her, after all.

I watch carefully, making sure she's fighting fairly, pleased when she is. Eventually he screams for her to stop, and to my dismay, she does.

I should rip her apart for that, for those aren't our rules, but once he stands up, I understand why. He stumbles to his feet, and holds one hand up to keep her away, and the other on his jaw. He looks at her in defeat, then me, silently begging for me to call the match.

"Do you need to stop?" I spit my words at Derek, debating on whether I should let Everly have another go at him. She's waiting, still primed to fight on my command. In front of me, Derek nods, cringing when I look down at him.

I grant him a sliver of mercy, only because I know there's really no point in continuing. I could let her have at him, the same way James went after her- getting out every ounce of pent up aggression, but letting her walk away while he crawls to the infirmary is enough for me.

"I'll let Four know how you did. Now, get out of here," I snap.

Derek staggers away, his head down, his jaw definitely needing to be examined, and his pride trashed. He has no clue how bad I could have made this for him, but I've seen enough.

Everly and I both watch him, and when he's gone, I turn and smile at her. It happens spontaneously, and I have to admit I'm proud of what she's done. She's retained almost everything I've taught her, and she was impressively smart in plotting out the fight.

She slowly exits the ring, her hair a mess and her face shiny, and I meet her at the end of the mat. I reach out, examining her quickly, then sliding my palm over her ribcage. Derek had given a single halfhearted swing at her, but she and I both know he barely touched her.

"You did well, Amity." I let my hand glide over her side, and I notice the slow, wide smile across her face. "We'll shower here and head home. It'll give Derek some space so he doesn't run into you in the hallway for round two."

She smiles even wider, and it takes a long time for me to let go of her.

 

 

"Does that fight count?"

Everly asks over the spray of the water. She's washing her hair, only stopping to sigh in relief as she rinses it clean from Derek's tears.

Rather than head home, I'd made the decision to take her to the trainers' showers. I had no real reason to, other than she was drenched in sweat and Four's class was still hanging around, some snickering, some horrified. They'd either want to tear her apart for beating him, or they'd want to know how she did it.

I had zero desire to have her experience either of those situations.

My apartment felt like a far walk back and showering here would buy us some time before Four came in, having caught wind of their match. He wouldn't be pleased I'd had her fight against someone in his class, nor would be pleased she'd won. More than likely, Derek would be out for a few days, and this just pushed Everly higher up in the rankings.

I smirk as I wash my own hair, thinking of Four's sad little face when he reads today's scores.

"It does. You should be very pleased with how well you did. I don't think you have anything else to worry about now. We know you can fight."

"I'm really happy I beat him. I knew I could. He told me…" She pauses, and her cheery tone turns dark for a split second, drowned out beneath the spray of water. "He told me I should have stayed on the farm."

I'm surprised at her confession, but oddly content she told me. She sounds unexpectedly angry, but she has every right to be. I'm sure Derek thought she was a sure bet as someone who wouldn't last through initiation. Her winning, and outright embarrassing him, only made things worse. I feel a flash of exasperation for her, because I'm sure the judgement upon her arrival was still in full effect.

"I'm sure he feels stupid now." I point out, thinking of the way he'd taken off, his pride mortally wounded. "It'll be a while before he recovers from his loss."

"Good." I can tell Everly looks over at me, but all she's seeing is the shitty, ancient shower curtain dividing the showers. This area is private, set aside for Leaders when they are done working out, and far more secluded than anything in Dauntless. Most members have no idea these are back here, and no one really uses them. I do from time to time, because I know it is almost always quiet.

I am right.

Everly had trailed in after me, waiting while I turned on both showers and told her they'd need to warm up. I informed her I'd be back, leaving to shut the door to this locker room so no one wandered in, and I came back to the sight of her closing the curtain behind her as she stepped in.

I'd followed suit, pulling the curtain open and heading into the other side, enjoying the feeling of the hot water after a long day. We are both silent as we shower, letting her fight against Derek sink in, and I glance at her side every so often. I can barely make out her form through the old curtain, but that's probably for the best.

"Will Four be mad I fought Derek?" She asks quietly, bumping into the curtain as she conditions her hair.

"I'm sure." I grin, squeezing out a glob of the shampoo that's been in here.

"Too bad," she jokes, and she washes her arms with what I can only assume is something Lauren has left behind. The air is steamy and humid, and I close my eyes and lean back into the spray.

Four would absolutely die if he knew she was in here.

This was surely crossing a very bold line, especially in his book. Showering with the initiates wasn't something he'd ever do, even if we had a hundred private showers. I grin as she rinses off, imagining her next to me.

I wasn't blind.

I'd always been aware of her, but now I was hyper aware of every move she made. It was easy; I'd noticed she wasn't doing anything to stop me from being close to her, and in fact- she seemed to like it. It was obvious she preferred my training. She certainly preferred my bed, and I was starting to find the idea of her fascinating. I certainly didn't want Four's class near her, and I felt it was best if she stuck by me.

I knew she was attractive, and I had to admit it would be downright pleasant if she had ended up in this shower. I knew what she felt like pressed against me, and her naked skin would be far better than her training clothes. I could picture her in here, standing still as I reached for her hair, and maybe I'd tell her she'd surpassed my expectations today.

"Does everyone know these are here?"

Her voice breaks my daydream, stopping right at the part where I was imagining the way she'd step back into my chest as I'd pull her close. My intentions in this daydream weren't even close to innocent, and I have to ignore the feeling of my dick begging me to shove the curtain aside and show her just how thrilled I was at her fighting skills.

"No. Just the Leaders and trainers use them when they work out. No one really comes down here."

I wash the shampoo out of my hair, blinking the water away. She makes a noise of approval, humming beside me, and I turn my shower off.

"Eric, did you bring a towel by any chance?" She asks as I step out of the shower, somewhat concerned at the idea she'd now have to walk back through Dauntless naked and dripping wet. Fortunately, I've got her covered.

Or I _could_ cover her.

Literally.

I force myself to think logically here.

Lately, my thoughts toward her have taken a salacious turn. The image of Everly in my bed, is in the forefront, always slinking up when I thought I'd rid myself of it. I've gone from wondering what it might be like- sleeping with her in other ways than just beside her, to envisioning it. Daily. Hourly.

I imagine she'd be willing. Ambitious. Lovely as she lay beneath me, one of her hands pinned above her head as the other held onto me. I could see her eyes darken as I thrust into her and her head would tilt back. Her hips working against mine. Her legs wrapped around mine, her pale skin just as fair as my own, flushing as our night went on.

I could picture her on her knees, straddling me, her dark hair wrapped around my fingers and one of her hands on my thigh. Her nails digging into my skin as I urged her on, coaxing her where I wanted her, giving into the sensation of her.

While a wonderful image it was, it made the thought of her next to me, naked and wet in the shower, that much harder to deal with. I quickly remind myself there's interest in her. Not just from Four's class, either. Max might have a few things to say. Since her appointment, he'd messaged me a few times, bugging me to reveal why she had my last name. Arlene had called as well, leaving a message and insisting I call her back because it was personal.

I knew what both of them wanted, so I hadn't answered either.

Arlene was hung up on the last name, and there was little doubt she'd filled Max in. He was already highly invested in Everly's progress, so this was just one more thing for him to mull over. While she'd worked out this morning, I'd ignored his text asking how Everly Coulter was doing, refusing to give him the satisfaction of responding.

I stalk over to the lockers and open up the one that had been assigned to me years ago. I use it sporadically, but I keep plenty of things in it in case I decide to shower down here. Extra training clothes, towels, a pair of running shoes, a comb, and some extra body wash. I wrap one of the towels around my waist, then walk back over with the other one in my hand. She's still not done showering, so I hang it up on the ancient hook, standing for a moment until the water stops.

"It's hanging up."

I return to my locker and grab the clothes out of it, realizing I'll have to throw her a bone and give her something to wear. She could always walk back in her towel, but I struggle with the thought for a few reasons. I don't want all of Dauntless gaping at her, nor do I want her to feel humiliated. I debate it while I dry off quickly, pulling on the pair of pants, and combing my hair. By the time I'm done, I turn around to see her walking over to me.

I smirk at her as she approaches me, clutching the towel around her chest and looking far more alive than a few minutes ago. Her hair and skin are still wet, but she smiles up at me when she stops near my locker.

"Thanks for the towel…but I have nothing to wear." Everly brightly informs me. She doesn't look terribly put out, and she's staring at me with this smirky look on her face that tells me she's waiting for me to have a brilliant solution to my plan.

Which I do.

"Here." I throw the shirt and boxers at her, and she manages to catch them without losing her towel, blinking in surprise. "Put those on. They'll do for the walk back. Or you can walk back naked if you'd like."

I leer at her for a second, pretending to patiently wait for her answer.

"Thank you. I guess you really do think of everything, don't you?" She waits for me to move, but I stand there, looking down at her. The sight of her is delectable, far better than her in her training clothes. "Okay, now turn around so I can get dressed."

I cock an eyebrow at her, and her cheeks flush.

"Are you really going to stand there?" She asks incredulously, but her smile tells me Amity isn't at all shy. "Really?"

"Fine. Only because you won your fight." I mostly teasingly inform her, turning around with an exaggerated sigh. I wait patiently, examining the lockers with great intent, and stretching my arms over my head when I grow bored. I'm not sure what's taking her so long to put on a shirt and boxers, so I give her two more seconds before I turn around.

She's dressed but fumbling with the waistband of my boxers.

"They keep sliding down so I'm fixing them." She meets my eyes, then goes back to twisting the fabric into some neat little trick. "There. Are you ready to go?"

"I am." I answer, picking up my discarded towel.

She grins over at me, walking back to pick up her own training clothes. I follow her, reaching my hand out for them when she's done.

"Wait, you want these?" She looks at me in confusion.

I nod, still keeping my hand out, until she hands me her laundry with a suspicious look on her face.

"Just this once," I smirk.

She seems to think this is amusing, and I let her lead the way out of the locker room, keeping my stare on her dark hair.

She better appreciate this chivalrous moment.

Our walk home is quiet and easy, sort of chilly, and she bumps into me at every turn. A few members stare at us, taking in her oversized shirt, wet hair, and naked legs. When they get to my bare chest, they do a double take, and I sneer until they look away.

I'd love for one of them to dare come up and ask what was going on.

"Do you think he'll say anything else?" Everly asks when we emerge from the hallway. It's dark in here, and she's careful where she steps. "He was stupid to say it front of you, but do you think he'll tell his friends what happened?"

"I'm sure." I answer, not at all concerned. Should Derek run his mouth again, I'd make sure he paid for it. Especially if it got back to me. "I wouldn't waste too much time on it."

Everly nods, slowing her pace suddenly. When I look down at her, I notice she's chewing on her lip- a terrible nervous habit that only draws my focus to her mouth. She's lost in her thoughts, thinking of Derek and his friends. I slow down as well, and I nudge her so she looks up at me.

"Do you feel better about it all?" I ask, and she stops in her tracks to look up at me. "They all know you can fight. They know you passed your simulation. Even if he does say something, they know he's made an ass of himself."

"And the rest? What comes after that?" She asks, stepping close to me. "Is there more?"

"You'll do fine." I answer shortly, trying to sound somewhat reassuring. "It's nothing you can't handle. A few days of survival training. But it's with me, and you shouldn't have any issues."

"Survival training. Anything else?" She asks, and I flash back to our conversation on my couch. Where I barely answered her questions and crushed her hopes by snapping at her because I was irritated.

I swallow, and I look over her head.

"There's nothing you'll go through that you can't pass. Understood? I would hope by now, you know I've trained you to be able to handle anything that comes your way."

She smiles in relief. "Thank you for that. I do feel like I'm ready now." She sounds happy, truthfully very thankful, and my response happens without my thinking.

I smile at her.

I'm not sure where it comes from, but it's a reaction I didn't plan. I'm proud of how well she's done, and she's earned every second of it herself. Though it was by my training, she put in all the work. I still can't figure out why she came here, or what on Earth possessed her to choose Dauntless over any of the other factions, but right now, it doesn't matter. I smile at her and now she's staring at me differently, like she's happy I'm happy, and I take the time to revel in the feeling.

"We should get home." I step toward her, and I impulsively touch the small of her back. My own shirt is soft and worn, far too large for her. My intent is to push her on, but neither of us move.

"Yeah," Everly answers, but her gaze jerks away at the sound of someone shrieking in the hallway. "What was that?"

"No clue." I respond, squinting in the dark. I don't see anyone, but honestly, it could be anything. A drunken member, someone who'd tripped in the dark, or someone who'd gotten lost. Jason had long held a theory that our hallways were haunted, so I make a mental note to send him down here to investigate. He'd lose his mind over someone hearing a voice in the dark.

"Come on." I tell her; we take off together, and I look over my shoulder once, just to see if there's someone there.

I don't see anything, but I'm not entirely convinced we were alone.

 

 

She falls asleep on the couch before I finish making dinner.

I know, because the apartment falls silent, her occasional questions coming to a grinding halt as her eyes slip shut. I don't notice it right away; I'd been making some noodle dish she'd mentioned on the walk back, and I'd spent most of my time while cooking thinking about our day. It was distracting in a soothing way, and when I'd finally relived every moment possible, I look up to call her over, but I can't see her.

I knew she was here.

She'd changed when we'd gotten home, putting on a pair of leggings and a loose fitting tank top that was impractical for fighting despite being sold as workout wear, and sunk down on to the couch. When I'd last looked at her, she was reading a book I'd given her to go through, and I was happy it kept her occupied while I cooked.

"Did you hear me? Amity?" I bark at her, wiping my hands on the towel. I leave the food on the plates, and walk over to the couch. "Amity?"

Of course- she's sound asleep.

Her head is resting on the same pillow as last time, and she's slumped over as if she'd literally passed right the fuck out.

I stare at her, wondering if this is a joke.

I think she might be messing with me, but I realize after today, she could genuinely be exhausted. I decide it's not even worth trying to wake her back up, so once again, I bend down to pick her up.

"Everly."

I say her name just in the off chance she's sort of awake, but it's useless. I push her hair out of her eyes, wondering if maybe she'll move, suddenly waking up out of nowhere. She doesn't. Her hair falls everywhere as I pick her up, and I notice it's still damp from our shower earlier.

"I'm starting to think you have narcolepsy."

She doesn't answer me, because she's fast asleep, and I scowl as I carry her to bed. I head to my own room, keeping my word from earlier, and she barely moves when I pull the sheets back with one hand. I set her down on the side opposite mine, and I sigh exasperatedly.

"Fuck, Everly wake up."

I snap her name out of frustration, an angry feeling washing over me when I realize I'll be eating dinner alone. It wasn't that I needed her company or even wanted it, but I'd gone out of my way to make sure she knew I was pleased with her training, and now, she was dead asleep. I shake her slightly, and she eventually opens her eyes, but I can tell she's not really awake. She blinks at me in confusion, and I motion at her leggings.

"Are you sleeping in those?"

She blinks at the rough tone of my voice, then slowly kicks them off without saying a word. She starts to lie back down, but I catch her arm, and I reach for the same shirt she'd worn earlier.

"Here."

She turns in confusion but works with me to shrug the tank top off. My bedroom is dark, and the only thing I catch sight of is the bare skin of her back as I help her pull my shirt over her head. She then collapses back onto my sheets, clutching my pillow toward her and falling fast asleep.

I stare at her, then stomp out of my own bedroom, heading to eat my dinner in silence.

 

 

 

Jason and Rylan show up right at seven.

Both of them head in with their arms full of beers and wide, pleased smiles on their faces. I'd sat and eaten my dinner while watching the security feed, and when I had grown bored, I'd invited them over. They were a common sight at my apartment, but tonight, their appearance made me edgy. I'd been neglecting them, scraping together a few minutes here and there to make sure they were alive, but they knew they'd fallen to the wayside. I rarely felt guilty, but these two had been by my side since initiation, and I hated to jeopardize our friendship even if they'd understand.

It was just that having them here gave them plenty of opportunity to grill me about Everly. They were both aware she took up most of my time, but they found my silence on her suspicious. Any other initiate would have been subject to my scathing review, and their training would have been heavily discussed.

With Everly, I'd been mute. I'd given up few, precious details, but for good reason. The fact she was female played a large part in it. I wasn't stupid enough to believe no one would find this situation entertaining, and there was heavy interest in just how we got along.

I'd also grown used to having her everywhere I looked, and my thoughts have shifted to thinking that she belonged with me. Not to me, but alongside me.

For the past few weeks, she and I had existed in a world inside Dauntless that was our own. It felt so sharply private, mentioning her to Rylan or Jason felt wrong.

But really, she was none of their business. She was mine and mine alone, and so far, I'd kept it that way. Now that they were here, I'm sure they'd use this time to their advantage. Neither of them had dared breathe a word of where she was staying, but they'd be on the lookout once they arrived.

Besides, I couldn't ignore them forever, and eventually, we'd all cross paths.

So, I had them come by, relieved when their presence felt like old times.

Jason had flopped down on the couch, sitting where Everly normally sat, and Rylan had sat down next to him. I'd grabbed a beer and taken a seat, reclining back to listen to their stories. After bitching about their work- Jason's day off having been ruined by Harrison needing his help in archiving some files that wound up taking hours, and Rylan having been forced to review the reports about factional boundaries, they were burnt out. Both of those could have easily been done by me, since I didn't give a shit, but they'd fallen to them on top of their own work.

And they gave a shit.

"When are you done, again?" Jason asks, propping his feet up on my coffee table. "How long is this initiation?"

"How do you not know how long it is?" Rylan laughs at him, shaking his head. "We all went through it. They're all the same amount of time."

"Yeah, sorry. I must have forgotten to write the dates down in my diary." Jason shoots back, and he looks over at me. "I bet you can't wait to be done. I'm sure you miss being out there, doing anything other than training that girl."

I look at him, forcing my expression to stay neutral, mulling over his words. "I am looking forward to getting my routine back."

"Jeanine's probably counting down the minutes." Rylan muses, but his expression sours. "Have you looked at any of the names yet? I'd say I could help you, but she's not my favorite person in the world. Especially after the last meeting."

"No," I answer shortly, and I take another swig of the beer he's brought. "I haven't had time. But I'm sure they'll be easy to find and even easier to bring to her. I'm not too worried about it. Don't get yourself involved unless you have to."

"You in on that, too?" Jason looks over curiously, and Rylan shakes his head no.

"Nah, son. Jeanine only likes Eric working for her. She doesn't think the rest of us are smart enough."

I roll my eyes, biting back the urge to tell him he could happily take over for me, but he'd regret it immediately. She might have come through with everything she'd promised, but her demands were high. Working for her wasn't a walk in the park, and I doubt he'd understand her thought process. You had to be willing to overlook the manic side of her and push through to see her theories. I knew what I could and couldn't ignore, but even I was pushing her limits. I hadn't answered her since our last meeting, and it wouldn't be long before she wanted to know what I was doing.

Again.

"Hey, uh, I wanted to ask. Your uh…the girl. She's ranking high, right?" Jason asks, grinning at me as he not so subtly changes the subject. "What's her name again?"

The mood in the room shifts to something tense. I feel it creep up my spine, closing in around my throat. He's prying, and though he has every right to be curious, I have the urge to tell him to shut up. It felt wrong to be talking about her, especially while she was here.

"Eric?" He asks cautiously, breaking the silence.

"Everly. Her name's Everly."

They stare back at me.

"She's uh, sort of…young…younger right?" Rylan fumbles with his drink, and meets my stare. "I mean, she's of age…because she's here but she's…young?"

He trails off, and I stare him down, watching him try hard not to smile at his own stupid question.

"Well no shit she's younger." Jason elbows him. "You can't come here unless you choose to. What's she like? Is she hot? Someone said she's hot but like, really short. Almost too short."

"Jason," Rylan warns him, and he shoots me a look across the room, when the discussion slides toward her appearance. "She's…nice. She works hard. She was ranked first last time I looked at the scores. All thanks to Eric. I was sort of surprised she was first, but yeah..."

I say nothing.

I take a sip of beer, debating how to answer this. I'd thought the same thing, but there she was, first in the class, far surpassing Four's initiates.

"So, she's number one, huh?" Jason answers, and he looks at me in disbelief. "How the fuck did you manage that?"

I smile lazily at him, setting my drink down. I wonder if he really thought I'd let her rank lower than anyone from Four's class. "You expected any less?"

Jason snorts. "You just trained her, huh? I don't actually believe that. Are you sure you and Four figured out the scoring right?"

I throw him a dirty look, and he sneers right back.

"Of course I trained her," I snap, growing irritated he'd jokingly imply otherwise. "For the most part, she's listened and taken direction well."

Rylan must have had a few drinks on the walk over, because he lets out a loud laugh. "Oh, I bet you've trained her to take direction very well."

Jason looks at him, equally amused. I get the sudden idea they had a long discussion about her on the way over, especially when Jason looks around frantically, as if trying to summon her out of nowhere. "Is she here? Can we see her?"

My reaction is immediate. I shoot him a murderous look, staring at him and wondering if he'd like to make it out of here alive. Everly isn't anything to seen. His words suggest she's only here for my entertainment and they dismiss her entire existence.

"Well, that's certainly creepy." I take a swig of my drink and narrow my eyes at him. "And no, you may not see her."

I sound haughty at the last part, and they both burst out laughing, more at my tone. It dies down when Rylan begins to fidget with his drink, and I steel myself for what's coming. He's not stupid, and I know he's been doing his research. "You gonna explain why she's listed with your last name?"

And there it is.

Jason snaps his gaze toward me, his hand frozen halfway to his mouth. His eyes are lit up in utter delight at this nugget of information, and he tilts his head in anticipation of my answer. He clearly hasn't been paying attention, and I realize with a slow snap of horror that neither have I.

I hadn't noticed that her name, now officially in the system thanks to Arlene's appointment, is listed as Everly Coulter instead of Everly Carlen.

This has Arlene written all over it, her sly way of getting back at me for ignoring her. She'd have insisted Max change it, after all- it was her official name on her paperwork, and she'd chosen to keep it as Coulter.

"What? Why does she have your last name? Let me see those rankings." He sets his drink down and fumbles for the tablet I'd left sitting on the table. The screen in unlocked, the security feed still active.

I smack his hand away, shooting him a warning glare.

"Drop it," I snarl.

I try to play off the sick feeling of awkwardness that's pooling in my stomach. I may have great reasons for putting Coulter as her last name, but Jason and Rylan won't see it that way. There's no way either of them would be satisfied with my practical reasoning, either.

They aren't.

Rylan chokes his drink down, snorting next to him. He glances at me once, knowing he's backed me into a corner, despite the little information I've told him. "I'll tell you why. Because Eric here seems to have developed some microscopic fondness for little Amity. And he filled out her paperwork and decided his last name looked better in place of hers."

There is silence in the room.

"Fuck you," I finally answer him, but it's not a threat. I play this off casually, hoping my answer will shut them up. "I filled it out in a hurry. I wasn't paying attention."

"Oh, you not paying attention? Really? You sure you weren't just thinking ahead to your impending marriage?" Rylan grins at me again, and I glare at him. He's clearly made this connection after our two-minute discussion on how she was performing, and I take great delight when I kick him as hard I can.

"Give up the dream. It was just a mistake and I've had the pleasure of dealing with the fallout from it all fucking day."

Jason shakes his head. "Max offer to officiate the ceremony?"

I roll my eyes at him, but I can't help but smirk at his question. Judging from the messages I'd received earlier, Max would be absolutely on board if I asked him to officiate anything in regard to Amity. Unfortunately for him, the idea of marrying her is ridiculous. "You gonna be the flower girl, Jason?"

Jason frowns, his expression strange as if he's thinking really hard. "You have to admit, she is pretty. She wouldn't be half bad to be forced to be around." He looks at me curiously, and Rylan nods in agreement.

"She is. Wait, I thought you hadn't seen her?" He stares at Jason suspiciously.

"Of course I have. I walked into the control room with Eric after Max brought her there. You should know that. You were there, too. I just want to see where she's sleeping," Jason answers him, clearly forgetting I was standing with him when Max brought her in. But his comment evokes the wrong reaction from me, and my eyes flick toward my bedroom door.

They pick up on it immediately. Both turn their heads, then look back at me in an accusatory manner.

"No fucking way." Jason's words are loud. "She's asleep in your bed right now, isn't she?"

I keep my expression perfectly bored, picking away the paper label on the bottle.

"She's asleep," I bark at them, not at all clarifying where she's sleeping, and they both loudly voice their approval.

"Holy FUCK." Jason announces, letting out this loud whooping sound as he settles back into the couch. "I never thought I'd see the day. How long did that take? A week? The first day? It was the dress, wasn't it? Is pink your new favorite color?"

"Funny." I answer, pulling the label off the bottle in a satisfactory strip. "Now, drop it."

"Ok, but you do think she's pretty. Don't you?" Rylan chimes in, liquid courage pushing him on. He stares at me so intently I steel myself so I don't lose it.

Jason, contributes as well, making me regret ever becoming friendly toward him. "You can tell us. It's not like we're gonna run through the halls screaming your secrets to the world. This isn't initiation all over again."

His words make me flash back to our initiation, and I feel the weight of this situation pressing down upon me. Confessing Everly wasn't a hideous creature wouldn't be terribly awful, and from the sound of it, they both agreed.

I stare at my two friends, eagerly awaiting my answer, and I shrug my shoulders and stare behind them.

It takes everything in me to dredge up an answer, and it feels painful and wrong.

"Yeah." I pause, stretching my head to the side until my spine cracks in relief. "She's pretty."

I say it with great hesitation, as though she's standing there listening, and will come out and mock me to my face at the idea that I find her attractive. I finally look at them, so ecstatic they might explode, and Rylan reaches over to slap my shoulder in congratulations. Jason is strangely as thrilled, even more so than Rylan, like his whole life had no purpose up until this point.

"Yes!" he crows. "We've been waiting for you to admit this."

I put a halt to their party immediately. I've given them no reason to think there was anything going on between Everly and myself, and I have half a mind to snap at them to get their heads out of their asses.

Instead I stand up, glancing at him in a lethal manner to shut him down.

"I said she was pretty. I don't remember professing my love for her. So calm the fuck down." I finish my drink in one gulp, my good mood vanishing, and I slam it down onto the table. "Be right back."

I head toward my bedroom, compelled to take a break from this little debate. I feel sweaty, like I've been caught red handed doing something I shouldn't have, which normally wouldn't bother me at all. I do plenty of things others wouldn't approve of, and admitting Amity wasn't ugly shouldn't make me feel nauseous.

Maybe it's the disgusting beer they'd brought.

Either way, I stomp over to my room, throwing the door open, and my eyes catch sight of our topic of conversation. If I hadn't stopped, I'd have crashed right into her. Everly stands there, her eyes wide and guilty, and it doesn't take a genius to figure out she's been listening to us talk.

"What are you doing?" I ask her lowly, and there's a hint of something in my voice, something just for her. Maybe it's the sight of her, half asleep and in nothing but my shirt, or maybe it's the slippery realization that she's still in my bedroom. Either way, I find it amusing she's in the doorway, trying to appear innocent. "Aren't you supposed to be sleeping? You did win your fight, after all."

I smirk at her, and she swallows nervously under my heavy stare. I wait for her brilliant response, but all that comes out of her mouth is something rather insulting.

"I didn't know you had friends," She blurts out, then has the decency to look horrified.

I roll my eyes at her, not at all entertained. Of course, she'd think I hated everyone. There's a lot she doesn't know about me, but my friends are the least of her worries.

"Go back to bed, Amity."

I ignore her stare, walking past her and into the bathroom. I stand there, staring at my reflection, before opening up the cabinet to take something out. It's a mild painkiller, and with all hope, it'll put off any sort of hangover I know is coming.

I leave after downing some water, and she's still there, standing and waiting for me. I eye her warily, ignoring her bare legs and bare shoulder as I stalk past her. I'm hesitant to ask her what she's heard. I decide it's safer for everyone if she just goes back to sleep, so I turn and look at her once more, holding her gaze.

"Goodnight, Amity."

I shut the door behind me, returning to my friends, both of whom are crowing over their accomplishment of pulling such a confession out of me. Fortunately, their glee is short lived. Neither can stay much longer- Rylan has plans to meet Christina, and Jason has plans to stare at a video game all night with Megan, so after a few more questions that I refuse to answer, they leave at the same time.

I sit on my couch for a long time after they've left. I stare at my tablet, halfheartedly responding to Jeanine, telling her I'll be in Amity tomorrow. She replies instantly, but I don't answer it. I log out, and sit, rubbing my hands over my face.

Eventually, when I grow tired enough, I head into my bedroom to go to bed.

 

 

I sleep next to her.

I fall into bed as a wave of exhaustion washes over me, and the idea of sleeping elsewhere doesn't even cross my mind. I climb in on my own side, sinking into my sheets and pulling them up as I turn over.

I fall asleep facing Everly, her face illuminated even in the low light, the last thing I see before my eyes close. I wake up a few hours later to pounding on my door, and I scowl into the darkness.

You have to be fucking kidding me.

My alarm clock blinks 1:35 am, and I blearily climb out of bed and head toward my door. To my surprise, both Rylan and Jason are there once again, both far drunker than the last time I saw them.

"Christina isn't in a good mood." Rylan mumbles, pushing past my dark look. "She ditched me for Tris and some dude."

"Megan sucks, too." Jason says slowly, holding his arms out in front to keep his balance. "She threw my controller in my face when I wasn't paying enough attention to her."

I let them both wander in, rubbing my eyes and blinking.

"What?" I start, but I'm interrupted by Jason.

"We're gonna stay here. We can't figure out…where we live." Jason flings himself onto the couch, kicking his shoes off and grabbing the pillows.

"Three doors down is where you live." I bark, eyeing them both.

"Is it hot in here?" Jason asks, trying to get comfortable. I watch Rylan follow suit with a dejected look on his face, and I realize there's no point in kicking them out. They both will only return, and possibly wake Everly up as well.

"Fine." I bark, even though they aren't listening. "But don't wake me up again and don't expect me to wake either of you up tomorrow."

"Tell Everly goodnight. Give her a kiss for me." Jason calls out, and he's lucky he's drunk.

I head back to bed, grumpily climbing in, and I most certainly do not tell Everly anything.

 

 

The messages start early.

_We'll discuss your findings today._

_When are you available?_

_Should I set up a meeting with Max as well?_

_Should I be questioning your support on this project? Perhaps you've changed your stance on the issue._

Jeanine must have stayed awake all night.

I'd woken up to Everly's back against my chest, and I'd pushed her away and gone straight to get ready for work. By eight, I'd answered six more messages, promising her I'd have some answers for her today. By eight thirty, I stalked out into my hallway, ignoring my snoring friends, and waited for Everly. She'd woken up sometime while I was making coffee, and I stall outside my door, clicking through a few messages.

See you in an hour. Don't forget your scores.

I sneer at my tablet. This time it's Max, but there's absolutely no reason I need to bring him my scores. He's simply trying to reinforce his nonexistent authority over me. I finish responding to Max- politely telling him he can see the fucking scores by looking at them on the reports he receives- just as Everly walks out the door. She looks surprised when she sees me, her hair pulled into a messy ponytail and a long-sleeved shirt on.

"I'll walk you to the simulation room."

I tell her tersely, not at all enthused to leave her with Four again.

She nods, and I take her by the elbow, my hand lingering as we walk.

She's quiet; I wonder if she's nervous all over again, or maybe concerned she'll have the same reaction to the simulation as last time. She doesn't tell me, she just walks, occasionally a beat slower than me. We come to a stop outside the doors, and I can see Four fumbling with the computer, getting ready to start. I throw him a dirty look and one less dirty look at Everly.

"Good luck today." I watch her for any sign of panic, knowing I'm about to be trapped in a meeting for a few hours. "I'll see you for lunch."

"Okay." She nods again, not moving, until Four frowns in her direction. "Thanks."

I leave her to go first, but not without one final glare in Four's direction.

 

 

The meeting is long.

I respond to a few texts I'd been meaning to; I tell Christian to drop my jackets off at the apartment because Carol will be there, and I tell Arlene to go fuck a cactus when she asks how Everly is doing.

I spend most of it researching the names Jeanine had sent me. I start with those with the highest percentages, in the Amity faction. I highlight them when I find anything I can use, but there's not a ton. A few names whose profiles are dull and uninteresting, and only one looks suspect. It'll be easy to scope out Amity the next time I'm there.

I zone out while Max yammers on, only half listening as he talks about some rumors from Abnegation. That faction is of absolutely no interest to me, but I do listen when he talks about a small issue with Marcus. Other than that, I type away, until I reach maximum boredom.

I scoot my tablet closer to me, and I type in Everly's name.

Her real name.

Her face pops up immediately, her profile still associated with the Amity faction. She's listed as an in-process transfer, with Dauntless as her chosen faction. The picture of her is exactly the same girl I'd met the first day she came here. She looks young, bright eyed, and far more put together than most in Amity. Her dress is yellow in this picture, and her black hair hangs down, far beneath the bottom of the photo. I read about her parents, both alive and in Amity, and I click out of it when Tori announces we're breaking for lunch.

I realize I've missed the entire last half hour of the meeting.

We head to the mess hall as a group, and I find Amity selecting something from one of the lines. She's alone, and once he sees her, Max cheerfully waves her over.

"I've been meaning to check in on her." He announces, and he points to a table smack in the middle of the room. "I'll meet you over there."

Fifteen minutes later, Quinten has made him toast, and Max is seated across from me. Everly is next to me, her eyes flitting from leader to leader, and she scoots over when Harrison shoves himself between Tori and Max.

"Did you send her the results? She said she was interested to hear about this group." Max uses his time wisely, deciding we should continue talking about the meeting I wasn't paying attention to. I shake my head. I hadn't had a chance.

"No. Not yet. I will once the sims are done." I take a bite of my hamburger, shifting in my seat as Everly listens to him talk. She takes it all in, all the Leaders crammed around her, arguing left and right.

"Eric?" Tori calls out, and I look up.

"Are you attending the simulations?" She asks nosily, knowing full well I'm not.

"No." I bark, and she sits back, narrowing her eyes at me.

I feel antsy; our table is crowded and so is the mess hall, and the lack of personal space is driving me nuts. Every time I move, I bump into Everly. It's not the worst thing to happen, but Max watches like a hawk, smiling at Everly as though they share some secret.

I could stab him.

She tries to adjust herself as Harrison stands up abruptly, and her arm nudges mine.

Max's eyes widen, as though she's done something far more dramatic than elbow me. I glare at him, but he's gone blind.

"I hear everything is going very well, Everly. We're really impressed with your progress here." Max abruptly changes the subject, his full attention on Everly, and she looks at me out of the corner of her eye. She looks nervous under their stares.

"Thank you," She answers genuinely. "I'm trying really hard."

"I'm sure you are. It helps that you and Eric work well together." Max sounds like a moron, too enthused for his own good.

I clear my throat, hoping he'll wrap up his none too subtle inquisition.

"You two seem like you have a good trainer and initiate relationship." He stresses the last word, and I can feel him looking at me. I sit up straighter, hot spikes stabbing at my back, and I look over at him with great disdain. Next to me, Everly chokes on her chicken nugget.

"It's been great," I answer him, my voice laced with sarcasm. I shoot him a dark glare, and next to me, Everly looks up, the smallest flicker of offense flashing quickly.

Max lets out a small snicker, and Tori gives him a dirty look.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Harrison clears his throat and looks at Everly and me with a confused stare. "Who is Everly?"

The table falls silent. Tori looks at him in disbelief, and a weird tension hangs in the air. No one bothers to answer him. Tori changes the subject, going back to the topic of Marcus Eaton and his refusal to adapt to the new technology, and I relax.

"Yeah, fuck him." Harrison agrees, waving his fork enthusiastically. "That man should loosen up. Let everyone live their lives and keep up with the times."

Everyone is distracted, except for me.

Every time Harrison waves his fork in the air (which is often), Everly pushes herself closer and closer to avoid being stabbed. It doesn't bother me at all, since I'd like her to keep both eyes intact, but it does catch Max's watchful gaze.

He watches us carefully, his brown eyes glued to her, and I realize he's never asked me why her last name is still listed as mine.

 

 

Four sends Karl to bring her to my office.

I'd returned after lunch, watching Everly slink off back to Four's class, drenched in the heavy feeling of regret that she'd have to spend the entire day with Four. The pace of the simulations was increasing, and I'd been half waiting for someone to call all day, telling me she'd finally had a bad run. It was inevitable; the simulations amplified in their level of difficulty, and while she was doing well, it would affect her at some point.

To my surprise, it didn't happen till later on.

The knock on my door is obnoxious, loud as I try to put together the paperwork I need for Amity. I'd already decided I'd head there as soon as I could, catching Johanna off guard. It would be easier to get her to agree if she were pressed for time, and my surprise presence was something she would loathe. She'd smile through it. She and I both found the other to be suspicious, though she was less obvious about it.

I don't look up at the knock, assuming it's someone who's lost, but eventually I bark a nasty 'What?!' as I keep typing.

I flip the page over the last incident report Johanna did not fill out, looking up in time to catch Everly stumble in through the door. I raise an eyebrow at her, taking in her pale appearance and her big eyes. Behind her, Karl walks in, strutting around like he owns the place.

His presence irks me.

"Did something happen?" I ask flatly, but Everly shakes her head and walks toward the desk. Karl doesn't respond; he's too busy taking in my office, memorizing every detail of what's in here. There's plenty to look at, all in perfect order and incredibly neat. He finally joins her, stopping directly behind her to greet me.

"Four wanted me to walk Everly here, Sir." Karl's voice has an important tone to it, as though he's done more than walk her down a hallway. I make a mental note to tell Four not to have his initiates do his work for him, and if Everly needed to come back to me, then he should have walked her here himself.

I glimpse at her in front of my desk. She's looking better than when she walked in, the color returning to her face, and she smiles in an attempt to prove she's fine. I stare at Karl for half a second, returning to signing off on the report. I wait for him to leave on his own, but he lingers, not getting the hint.

"Thank you." I dismiss him, turning the page over.

When I finish signing the papers, I realize I haven't heard the door shut. I look up slowly, and discover Everly, looking like she's trying hard not to laugh, and Karl still behind her.

"Do you need something, initiate?" I snap.

Karl shakes his head, and he finally realizes I have no use for him. He shoves his hands in his pockets, and still smiles anyway, heading for my door. His posture tells me he's thinking he's ruined this moment to show how trust worthy he is, and he has.

"Thanks, Karl," Everly calls out when he leaves, and he perks up in the slightest. Of course, she's nice, thanking him for simply walking her a few steps.

I return to my computer, officially putting in a request for a truck, and typing an electronic signature. I look at Everly out of the corner of my eye, waiting to hear why she was brought here. She still has a few hours left of time that should be spent with Four's class, though she'd typically return home. But there's a reason he had her come here, and my curiosity gets the better of me. "Something happen during your simulation?"

She takes the seat in front of my desk, pulling her legs up in front of her. "I got kind of sick," she tells me, but she keeps her stare on her shoe laces. "I feel better now, though."

I process what she said while I read through the approval. One of the head security guards responds he'll have a truck ready to go in the next ten minutes, and I make the snap decision she's probably fine. She looks normal now, and she doesn't look like she's about to take a nap. My printer beeps, printing out a security pass that I most certainly don't need. I grab it, along with the security paperwork needing Johanna's signature, and I shuffle them together.

I already have a headache.

"Good. Then you can come with me on this errand. I've got a meeting to attend, and it might be good for you to experience it." I stand up, pushing my desk chair back, taking in the sight of Everly before me. It feels wrong to be taking her along with me, mostly because this could fuck everything up, but I decide the experience could outweigh all that.

Besides, leaving her here alone isn't my highest choice.

"Where are we going?" She looks up at me, her dark hair lost against the dark chair, and I smile tightly at her.

"Back to your old faction."

 

 

Amity is hideous right now.

We stand at the edge of the property line and I mentally prepare myself to deal with the dirty hippies who reside here. The air is sharp and icy. It's been on the verge of snowing all day, and the sun is now hours away from setting. Despite the change in temperature it feels dull here, especially as the faction winds their day down.

We watch as the members scramble around, working like zombies who don't know any better. The idea of Amity is absurd to me. I can't imagine anyone ever wanting to live here, nor can I picture Everly growing up in this place. The thought of spending their days farming like peasants, picking crops and watering plants, then sitting around campfires and singing, makes my skin hurt. Even worse, they fancied themselves to be agricultural geniuses, proud of their greenhouses and fields of crops as though they were the only faction with dirt.

Everly is transfixed by the sight before her.

I can't tell if it's giving her violent flashbacks or if she's wishing she'd stayed here, but I let her have it. Her expression is something itself; soft and warm, and in the fading sunlight- glowing. I stand next to her, watching her out of the corner of my eye as she blinks at those emerging from the tall stalks.

She eventually rips her gaze from the corn fields to look at me, and I nod.

Together we take off.

She walks beside me, looking like she came straight from Dauntless. Her jacket, a surprise from Christian- made far before she'd passed her initiation, is a heavy Leader's jacket. She has no clue it's not the regular uniform, but I'm sure she was happy it was warm. She'd worn the same boots I had on, and while it had been hard to picture her in the uniform when she first arrived, it looks just fine on her.

It doesn't quite suit her though; it's a little too formal, too harsh on her small frame and too covered up considering she seemed to favor clothes that barely stayed on her. But she wore it proudly. She'd fixed her hair before we left, pulling the sides up and out of her face, and she didn't draw quite as many stares as we'd walked through the compound.

She follows after me quickly; our boots crunching over dry leaves as we approach the center of the community, the main area filled with a large swarm of members. I take in the surroundings with great annoyance, hating the sight of everything. I already feel hot, embarrassed for those who think this faction is paradise.

"This way."

I call out to her, as though she hadn't lived her entire life here, and we head to the large barn doors. I know Johanna would have been alerted to our arrival, and I have every intention of making this meeting as quick as possible. We can get in and out of here, be home for a slightly later dinner than normal, and go about our routine.

My plan goes to shit the minute we approach the doors. Before she can take another step, Everly is ambushed by a blur of colored fabrics. It's a bunch of girls shrieking at a high-pitched volume as they grab her, ecstatic to see her. They hug her tightly, as if she's been gone for years, and it's not long before she's lost in a sea of blonde hair and jeweled tones.

"Everly! You look so different!" One of them shrieks, and I immediately decide she's the most annoying. The girls reach out to touch Everly's hair, sliding their hands through it and staring at her like they've never seen her before. Everly smiles back, her eyes flitting to me once, and the smile on her face isn't quite real. I've seen her smile, really smile, and this isn't it. I'd go as far as to say she looks confused, but she plays it off well, even when they touch her jacket.

I smirk as I watch them fawn over it. I feel a flash of superiority over them and their shock and awe over her uniform. She's no longer a part of the Amity faction, and the distinction is huge. She belongs to us now. She belongs with me, not here, wandering through the woods with her air headed friends.

My smirk dies when I see Johanna wandering over, a genuine smile plastered across her face. She looks very pleased to see Everly alive and well, and she conducts a quick, but obvious, examination as she walks over. Her smile slides right off her face when she sees me, but she forces it back into place, polite as ever.

"Eric. Amity welcomes you." She greets me because she has to, then nods at Everly's fan club. They get the hint, scattering immediately so Johanna can make her way through them. "Everly. It's so good to see you again."

I watch as she embraces her, reaching toward her as though she's her mother. One of her hands cups the back of her hair, and she holds on to her, tightly. I can't really see Everly right then; her head is bent down, and judging by the way her shoulders crunch up, she's swallowing down the rotten feeling of homesickness.

Not that I knew anything about that.

"It's so good to see you, too," Everly tells her, and Johanna pushes Everly's hair out of her eyes. I narrow my stare at them, growing irritable at the thought of Everly feeling wistful over this place, and Johanna picks up on it immediately.

She hugs Everly tighter, unconsciously protecting her from what I can only assume is myself. She stays like that until I clear my throat. Her expression changes, back to the forced politeness she'll be required to have for the next hour, and she steps away from Everly slowly.

"Shall we try to finish this before sundown? If we have time, we'd love for you to join us for dinner." She smiles at me, the barest hint of dislike hidden somewhere in there, and Everly looks at me with a funny look on her face.

Max won't be thrilled if I say no, so I shrug, and motion for Johanna to lead the way.

 

 

Dinner in Amity is by far the least pleasant experience of my life.

The sun sets quickly. The night is dark, but there are plenty of fires lit and the tree lights blink off and on, most needing to be replaced. The air is cold despite the fires, and the actual dining area is crowded and noisy. I watch in repulsion as families laugh together, letting their children run up and down between the tables without disciplining them. There's a chaos to the air, food everywhere and people spilling into every free space, and I feel like a caged animal.

They shoot plenty of looks our way, their gazes stuck on our uniforms, for we stick out like sore thumbs.

I keep bumping my knee against Everly, shifting to avoid being touched by anyone from here. After a few times, I do it on purpose, watching in amusement as she tries hard to keep the polite expression on her face. The ramshackle table seems like it was built for children, and it's even more repulsive when someone puts down a plate in front of me. They'd graciously brought me dinner, which I most certainly will not eat, though Everly seems happy with it. I narrow my eyes at the food, at her, the table, the person next to her, and everything in my general vicinity. It's painful to sit here, so I elbow Everly, hoping she'll hurry up and finish whatever it is she's currently enjoying. I elbow her again, this time rougher, and she looks over at me slowly, an entertained expression on her face.

"What is this?" I ask in a scathing tone. I look down at my plate, and I can feel my face scrunching up. I wouldn't normally give such a juvenile reaction, but this food deserves it.

It looks like they've served me a plate of cold, baby shit.

Everly laughs and hands me a piece of pita bread as though I'd asked for some. "It's hummus. It's good. You should try it."

The grimace on my face is replaced with extreme irritation that she'd be dumb enough to think I'd eat their bread. I'm far from stupid, and the last thing I want is to be stoned off their dinner.

"Oh, no, I'm not eating that bread," I scoff, but she's undeterred.

She smiles at me, her skin once again lit up by their terrible lighting and takes a large bite of the piece in front of her. Nothing happens, obviously, because her demonstration is shit. "Serum is only in the dinner rolls and sandwich breads," She eventually whispers, and I shove the plate away from me.

"I'm not taking any chances."

"Suit yourself." She shrugs, not concerned I'll go hungry. I scowl at her when she turns back to her friend, her hair brushing my arm. I watch her finish eating her disgusting bread and weird hummus, less for my benefit and more because she likes it. I make a mental note never ever to make it for her. When she's done, she leans back from the table, and I decide I've had enough. I lean in close to her, and I yank on the bottom of her hair.

"As soon as you are done, we are leaving."

My reactions have reached a whole new level of childishness, but I can't take sitting here much longer. My head is beginning to hurt, there are children crying in the distance, and Everly's friend is talking about how she just planted something, despite winter being days away. I'd already spent an hour telling Johanna to send in her reports we'd asked for, sliding in the paper work for new security cameras, and patiently explaining they'd go up whether she liked them or not. I'd taken a few minutes to watch her slowly type her password into her computer, and I'd spent six whole minutes I'd never get back while she slowly read through the layout of the boundaries and where our patrols would be increasing.

So, I was done. Their sorry excuse for a meal wasn't cutting it, I needed something other than water to drink, and I needed to get away from the Good Vibes Only tribe that was currently trying to round up people to sit around a bonfire.

Not that it matters, but Everly agrees immediately.

"Okay," she answers, standing up and gently telling the woman next to her goodbye. She looks back at me, then at my full plate, and smiles smugly. "I'll be right back. I'm going to turn my plate in."

I wave her off, hating that she'd be polite enough to take her dish back to the kitchen, but she is. I watch her walk through the tables, greeting a few people here and there, until she vanishes into the crowd.

"So, you work in Dauntless?"

I look over slowly, dragging my stare from the crowd, over to the woman Everly had been talking to. She looks confused, squinting at my uniform and staring at me suspiciously. She's trying to be kind, but she frowns every time she looks at the black fabric.

"What happened to your eyebrow? Do you need a medic?"

She reaches her hand out toward me, fully ready to actually touch me, and I swat her away and stumble off the bench before she can get any closer.

"No." I bark, drawing the attention of a few others around us. One woman with long, tangled blonde hair looks at me, and elbows the guy next to her. He watches with a funny look that reminds me of Everly. His hair is cut surprisingly short on the sides, and he's one of the more coherent looking ones here. But he's eating the bread just like they all are, so I doubt that will last long.

"I can take you there if you've been impaled." The lady keeps talking, concern all over her face now. She also stands, drawing her dress around her so she won't trip. "It's not far from here."

"No thanks." I snap, and I take a step back. I survey the area quickly, but Everly is nowhere to be found. I take off before she can come any closer, violently heading in the direction Everly went. I get stuck behind a large group of people waiting to plate their food, I shove through them rudely, and they are all too nice to stop me.

I look left, then right, irritation growing when I still don't see her anywhere. I decide I've had enough of being here, and we're leaving this second. Forget her plate. I walk toward where I can only assume the kitchens are, making a sharp left and I come to a dead stop.

There she is.

Her plate is long forgotten, cast aside as some guy holds her attention. He towers over her, blocking her from leaving. I immediately notice his long brown hair is a mess, his shirt is dirty from his work, and his hand is on her cheek.

I tense unexpectedly.

This isn't some random stranger or friend. There's something about the way he touches her, this possessiveness oozing from him, that tells me he knows her on a level I don't. He gently slides his hand into her hair, attempting to draw her closer, and I have the revolting feeling he's done this before.

I watch while he says something to her I can't hear, then he leans in and kisses her.

Bile rises up my throat.

I want to look away, but I watch this unfold before me, a mix of deep anger and envy coming out of nowhere. The only saving grace in this moment is whatever this guy's plan was, it doesn't entirely go in his favor. He kisses her for the briefest of moments before she stiffens, clearly uncomfortable, and her hands fly to his chest to push him away.

He doesn't handle it well. He looks surprised at her rejection or possibly the violence of her pushing him away. He shakes his head when she doesn't return his affection, and he does his best to keep her focus on him. When she says something to him, something else I can't hear, he frowns at her, trying to appear wounded.

From my angle there is no hurt, only impatience, like she's slow to catch on.

Everly looks uneasy, and when he doesn't let go, she shoves him away forcefully. He looks surprised then, and I'd bet he has no clue she could do far worse if she wanted to. Violence is not something he'd ever partake in, and even the action of her backing away is offensive to him.

I take a step closer, my boots stomping into the ground, and I hear her protest.

"How can you say that? I'm doing really well there."

It dawns on me, a weighty realization that they were once close. Very close. I can only assume she left him behind when she chose Dauntless, and he didn't take her departure well. I'm almost right next to them when I hear him mumble lowly, pleading something to her in one more pathetic attempt to do whatever it is he is asking. It still doesn't work. She doesn't buy it, and he removes his hands from her hair, letting them slide down the strands dejectedly.

I stop when she looks up at him. It's not exactly the same way she looks up at me because there's a hint of anger behind her eyes, and I feel a slow building rage take over. He's hovering over her greedily, still not backing down, but he's wrong.

So wrong.

She's no longer his.

Everly has been my initiate for weeks. She's been sharing my bed for days now. She's been invading every single inch of my life, pressing herself so close to me, that the thought of her and him is horrendous. I don't know where it comes from, this deep-seated desire to yank her away and drag her over to me, but I push it down. I have a reputation to uphold, and it won't do Dauntless any good if I start a fight while I'm here.

How fortunate for him.

"Are you two done?" I snap at the both of them, the words out of my mouth before I can think. My reactions feel automatic. My hands have balled into fists and I glare at the both of them, nasty as ever.

I stare at Everly, furious at her for daring to ever be involved with someone like him, even though he's a perfectly fine member of Amity. I'm sure here- amongst the rougher looking members, he's an ideal catch. He's not entirely hideous, he's tall and strong, and judging by his attachment to Everly- he's loyal.

Everly looks over at me, horror all over her face, and I hate that I want to hurt her. I want to make her step away from him, regret ever knowing him, and never ever come back here. I try to slow my rage, for really- she's done nothing to earn it, but I have to admit- bringing her along was a mistake.

One I won't repeat.

"We need to get back to Dauntless. Unless you've got other plans."

She nods a few times, panic spilling out of every movement. She steps away from him immediately and she quickly tells him it was good to see him.

"Think about what I said," he begs her, completely ignoring my presence until now. He finally looks over at me, frowning when he puts it together that I'm the reason she's leaving. Once he catches the snarl on my face, he steps closer to her, his body language telling me everything I need to know.

He cares for her, deeply. She's not mine the way she was his, and he knows it. Even if she stays in Dauntless, done with her training, she'll be done with me. He thinks she'll seek him out, wanting someone kinder than me.

I feel ill.

I've been toying with her for days now. Letting her sleep on me, touching her like she was mine, letting myself enjoy her presence.

Not anymore.

I don't wait to see what happens. I take off toward the truck. I can't stand to look at the two of them, especially together. I try to ignore the image of her looking at him, the way her face tilted up, the way her hair fell. I try to forget she'd lived here with him, that she'd possibly cared for him in any manner, and I find it nearly impossible to shake off the thought she'd slept with him.

I knew.

The way he touched her, his closeness, his desperation to keep her with him.

I stalk through Amity, forcing myself to think of nothing. I ignore everything around me, including her. She sprints after me, doing her best to keep up, and by the time we reach the truck, she has a wild look on her face. I can't read it, but I don't try to. She flings the door open and climbs in, looking over at me for a full minute, frantic for me to say something.

When I glance over briefly, her expression is pleading, apologetic, anxious.

I ignore her.

I drive us home in silence. Once we return to Dauntless, I'm out of the truck and through the doors before she's even undone her seatbelt.

 

 

I find her in the kitchen.

She's standing there, finishing her drink by the sink. I'd avoided her since we'd been back, trying hard to finish up what I needed to do. She'd tried to keep up with me through the hallways, and she'd made it through the door before I slammed it shut. Though worried, she was smart. She didn't try to say anything, and she shouldn't. I wouldn't have answered her.

My actions were beyond pathetic. I was riled up over some farm girl and her former boyfriend, and I had no reason to be.

So, I'd emailed Max, I emailed Jeanine, and I refrained from punching a hole in my wall. I'd thought of her, of why I felt so angry over what I'd witnessed, and I decided to find out why. I knew I had to put a stop to all of this, and now.

I wasn't expecting to find her there, but I use it to my advantage.

She jumps when she turns around, her eyes widening at the sight of me. I don't smile at her, and I can't bring myself to think kindly right now. She looks worried at my stare, but she stands her ground, gazing up at my dark expression.

"What did he say to you?" I demand.

It wasn't what I had planned to say to her. But his words had bothered her, and I wanted to know why. What power he had over her that he could make her doubt herself.

It takes her a second to reply. A despondent look washes over her face and she shakes her head, trying to forget what he said. "He told me I didn't belong in Dauntless."

I stare at her. "Why?"

She shrugs her shoulders, and both of us react slowly. I step closer to her, and she steps away from the counter ever so slightly. She's right in front of my chest, and she cranes her neck up to look at me, ever brave. Anyone else would have caved, bolted from the spot or shut their eyes and hoped for the best. But not her. She meets my stare, and I notice how dark her eyes look, and how pale her skin is.

She's far more lovely than I'd noticed before. I can see why he wanted her back, why he was so disgustingly determined for her to return to Amity.

"He said I'm not cut out for Dauntless. He thinks I'm going to fail initiation."

"Impossible. I'm not about to let you fail." I answer her quickly, narrowing my eyes as his face pops into my mind. "Who is he?"

"What do you mean?" She asks, and she's so close she's nearly touching me. "You want his name?"

She's holding my gaze, and there is absolutely nothing behind hers except longing.

As if something's taken over me, I reach up and touch her. It's not my intent at all, but I trace across her cheekbone, slowly, purposefully. Her skin is cool from her shower, and soft. I slide my fingers into her hair, the feeling familiar, sliding them further until I graze her ear.

I think of him, touching her like this, and my fingers tighten.

He's had her like this. He's touched her in ways I haven't, ways I've been thinking about. Every daydream I've had about her, he's lived out. Every single moment I've wondered, he's already known. There was a reason he wanted her back, and it makes me furious to know he's had what I wanted.

My plan to stop this between us slowly unravels, thread by thread, when she leans into me.

"Was he the one you told Arlene about?" I ask her, my voice heavy with a strange dose of jealousy. "Was he your first?"

When she nods, ever so slowly, I feel my shoulders rise up. I expected her answer, and though it's not the one I wanted, there's nothing I can do about it. I reach my free hand up to touch the other side of her hair, and my fingers curl in, pulling her forward, always closer. She belongs here, I think frantically. With me.

She swallows down whatever she was going to say, and she's right against my chest, so close I can feel every breath she takes.

"Why did you put my last name as Coulter?" She looks up at me intently, but she's not the least bit upset. In fact, she's sort of straining upward, inching herself closer. I smirk when she leans in, pushing together like he had wanted. "On that paper."

My fingers dig into her scalp.

She hadn't forgotten her last name had been written as mine. I hadn't bothered to change it. I saw no reason to. After today, I should have. Brought her back to Everly Carlen, but I can't.

I don't want to.

My head bends down, millimeters from hers, and I answer her quietly, mostly honestly.

"In case they found something wrong during your physical. The results would be sent to me instead of anyone else. They would associate it with my last name, and not yours. Had something been wrong, it would have given me a chance to take care of it."

"Oh." She tilts her head up, and my nose brushes against hers, the act strangely intimate. I take a deep breath, my lungs filled with whatever she's washed her hair with, and I feel her sigh into me. My forehead touches hers, resting there as I make a sudden decision.

"You're not to go back to Amity. That's an order."

It is an order, one that I would try to enforce to my fullest extent. I can only hope she doesn't ever want to go back there, for a multitude of reasons. I stay perfectly still as she closes her eyes and nods.

It seems like an eternity passes between us, and something inside me snaps. My intent was to push her away, putting her back in her place as my initiate and nothing more. But seeing her and him together has made me feel unsettled, lost as to why I'd be so upset.

She was no one there.

She was no one here.

She was no one with me.

Except it's clear that's not true anymore.

I want her in the worst way possible. A pulsing, debilitating ache that pushes me to close the distance between us. My logic falls apart in front of me when my nails dig into her scalp and I lean in to press my lips against hers.


	9. Kissing Everly Carlen Coulter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday!
> 
> So a big huge thanks to Bamberlee for editing this chapter!
> 
> A big huge thanks to everyone who's been reviewing! You guys have sent in some awesome and hilarious comments. I'm so happy people are enjoying Eric's version :)
> 
> Just a quick note: As usual, I'd reread the last chapter (or section) before starting this one. This chapter is going to seem different than Everly's since she's away from Eric for most of 9.
> 
> Also- Sadly, next week's chapter won't be posted on Friday. I will be on vacation with my children and seriously, will have no reception unless I go to the roof of the beach house lol. I will try to find a way to get it updated if I can, but if not, I will update it as soon as I'm back on Sunday. So read this one slowly and enjoy! ;)

Her lips touch mine.

There is absolutely no hesitation on her part. Her lips are soft and warm against my own, and while pleasing, the act is not something I typically do. Kissing wasn't something I had any interest in. It had always seemed pointless, something sappy fuckers did to show their affection in the mess hall.

Sure, I'd kissed Ashley. Adolescent fumbling, until I quickly moved on to what I really wanted. To fuck her, to reach the overwhelming orgasmic high I was looking for, obtaining the feeling of satisfaction I wanted. Kissing her rarely crossed my mind, if ever.

But this is different.

I have the desire to stay right here, just like this, her reaching up as she sinks against me. I no longer care that she can't figure out which room is hers, or that I'd been caught up in debating if I _should_ care. I give in, letting myself relish in the feeling of her.

Everly winds her hands around my neck, and I fight down the reaction to knock them away. They eventually find the back of my hair, grabbing at strands to pull me closer to her. Her lips part open and I kiss her harder, wanting a furthered response, and I'm rewarded by her nails scraping my scalp.

I jerk back.

I stare at her, my hands still in her hair, unwilling to let go. Before me, she looks wild, impatient that I've stopped, and wide eyed.

It hits me then, that I've done something laughable.

Immature.

Stupid.

I've kissed her, like some fool.

Like him.

"I didn't mean to…" I certainly didn't mean to say anything out loud. I close my eyes to give myself a second to figure out a way out of this, but the image of her reaching toward me is there, burned into my brain. I can feel her against my chest, her heart racing, and I realize this is a mistake. I shouldn't have kissed her, not even for the briefest of moments. I was competing with him, the idea of him, attempting to make myself the winner.

It was juvenile behavior.

Yet, I don't let go of her.

I stand there, my fingers in her soft hair, and I don't move.

"I shouldn't…"

I don't finish my sentence. My lips crash back to hers, frantic and unfortunately desperate, like this has been a long time coming. I kiss her again and again, listening to every breath she takes, to the sound of her around me, and when she rises up and digs her fingers into my scalp again- her own neediness taking over, I groan against her lips.

She wanted this just as much as I did, I think, my thoughts jumbled and slow and delirious. Any doubt I had is now gone, vanishing with every second I spend with her. This feels oddly appealing, oddly erotic considering all I'm doing is kissing her, and oddly satisfying. I pull back from her once more, noting her swollen lips and flushed expression, and I reach for her waist. I lift her up easily, sitting her atop my kitchen counter, and we make eye contact.

She's beautiful.

Not in the way I'd expect, but something else.

She holds my gaze, and I bend forward, leaning into a familiar place. I give her a second to stop this, to realize this won't end well for either of us before it goes any further.

Because I have no intention of stopping, and every intention of fucking her against my kitchen cabinets.

"Tell me to stop." I mumble the words against her neck, giving her the opportunity to be the one to back away. I swear she shakes her head, her hair all around me, and I get a thrill when I realize no one besides me has been this close to her. No one in Dauntless. Not the other initiates. Not any of the Leaders. Not Four.

She smells wonderful, and I'd like nothing more than to ruin it. I'd like her to smell like me, even just for one night, even just for now.

She doesn't stop me.

I press my lips against her fair skin, enjoying the way she wiggles to let me get closer, letting me linger as I please. I leave slow, wet, lazy marks on her neck, and she sighs in content. Her head falls to the side, exposing her throat to me, submissively egging me on.

"Everly." I murmur her name against her skin. My teeth scrape against the side of her neck, causing her to shiver when I bite down. The urge to mark her is overwhelming; her skin is too perfect and sweet, and I want myself all over her. I pull it between my teeth, knowing it'll turn red easily. She lets out a whimper and I let go, satisfied with my work, and I return to her lips.

"Tell me," I hiss again, wanting her to be the one to stop this. It wouldn't be so much a rejection as a validation of my theory that I won't be wounded if she does.

But she stays silent, looking into my eyes without moving.

I find her lips again, letting my mouth remain against hers. Softly. Sweetly. The kiss reminds me of her, until I bite at her. The urges come in waves, each one harder to stop than the next. I want to annihilate her in every way. Destroy every remaining ounce of doubt between us. I want her as mine, badly.

I bite at her lower lip, an act far more forceful than anything she's used to, because she gasps in surprise. I deepen the kiss, and I'm rewarded with her blissful inexperience. It spurs me on, her trying urgently to get what she wants, and her head hits the cabinet. I reach for her head, cupping the back where she's just hit it. I kiss her harder, and she fumbles then, reaching for my shirt to yank me closer. She pulls hard, my tongue now against hers, and provokes a low, pleased growl from my throat.

I reach for the hem of her shirt.

Her skin is warm beneath the fabric, exposed only to my fingers. I slide one of my hands to the small of her back, inching upward as I jerk her closer to me, nearly sliding her off the counter. I'm between her legs now, one spread on each side of me as she tugs my head back down to her. She's enjoyably willing, her hands winding through the longest parts of my hair to hold on to, and I dig my fingers into her back.

The want is nearly unbearable.

She makes a sound, some sort of pleasant whine and there is a wave of frustration between the two of us. I want her closer, less dressed, and beneath me. I want her groaning my name, gasping as I thrust into her, her nails scraping along my back.

The thought is so terribly vibrant in my mind that I am powerless to stop it.

I am also powerless to stop the knocking on my door.

I break apart from her instantly, pulling back except for my hands. My breathing is erratic, heavy as if I'd gone for a run, and I force myself to calm down. I look at Everly, a brilliant sight of flushed skin, her mouth lusciously swollen, and her eyes clear. Her dark hair is messed up now, the long wavy strands having been roughly pulled on, yet still soft beneath my fingers.

She looks nothing like Ashley.

This is nothing like Ashley. Everly is soft and sincere, wanting to pull me back toward her as she looks right at me, still holding on. Neither of us dare move, not even as the knocking continues. I should back away, but she's looking up at me intensely, holding me in place.

There is no regret behind her stare, only satisfaction.

I drop my stare to the pink marks blossoming on her neck, and I can't help but smirk. I'd been ambitious with my attempt to make her mine, and I had. I reach out to touch one, my finger trailing over the bright spot, and there is no doubt it will be noticeable no matter what she wears.

Good.

My lazy perusal of her is interrupted when the knocking increases, someone desperate for my attention. I drop my hands to my side, and I look at the door over her shoulder. I swear to God if it's Jason or Rylan I will personally demote them, but I won't know until I answer it.

"Looks like we have company." I tell her, listening to someone yelling my name from outside. With a rush of pure and utter loathing, I realize it isn't Jason or Rylan, and the person it's attached to won't fare any better.

The knocking stops, then starts up again.

"Stay there." I cock an eyebrow at her, and she nods her head.

I stalk toward the door, flinging it open, fully prepared to smash his face in the minute I see him. It's painful to be ripped away from her, especially since I was moments away from ripping her shirt off.

It's even more painful to find my least favorite person standing there, a pissed off look on his face.

"Four. What a pleasant surprise," I greet him with zero enthusiasm.

He doesn't look great.

His eyes are dark and sullen and his expression is one of pure annoyance. He must have had a rough day because he looks drunk, having presumably spent some time with a bottle of something dark to make his day better. The minute he speaks, I know I'm right.

"Did you make Derek fight Everly today?" He slurs, his voice as uneven as his posture. "Derek said you made him fight her."

I stare at him, wondering how it took him so long to figure that out. Was it when Derek crawled away, his pride ripped to shreds and his confidence gone? Was it when Everly knocked his jaw askew? Or was it when he watched the security feed and saw her take Derek down like he was nothing.

I sneer at him, his pathetic self holding onto my doorframe.

"I made an example out of him. He had a few choice words to say about my training."

"I thought you didn't want her fighting anyone from my class. Thought you didn't want her getting hurt." Four stares at me, and he swallows. "You made her fight him, didn't you? For your own amusement?"

I hate him so much. So, so much. I sigh heavily, ready to kick his ass back into the hallway. But his drunken gaze holds a hint of concern, so I answer him. "I didn't want a repeat of James. This time, I was there to make sure nothing happened to her."

He blinks.

For a long time he says nothing, perhaps flashing back to watching James attack her on his watch. I can see his internal struggle, then something dawns on him, slowly.

"Is she here?"

I glare at him so nastily that he has the decency to look away.

"She's asleep," I snap.

My words should deter him, but his alcohol soaked brain is stuck on valiant mode. He stumbles as he stands upright, his shoulder hitting the door.

"Where?"

"Are you drunk?" I mock him, and his eyes flash angrily. The Stiff clearly can't handle his alcohol, and he's now wasting my time. "She's in bed. You can talk to her tomorrow. Go to bed, Four."

I badly want to look back at Everly, but I keep my stare on Four, waiting for him to do something stupid.

It won't be long.

"She's not yours, Eric." He sounds whiny now, angry she didn't plead to stay in his class. "After this training is over, she'll find other people to be friends with. Not just you."

His words don't have the effect they're meant to. I'd be inclined to believe him, had I not just had my mouth against hers, seconds away from pulling her shirt over her head.

"Thank you for your keen intuition. Now go home," I retort. "Get out of here."

He doesn't listen; he shoves past me, his balance still not great, frantically looking for Everly. He looks around my apartment, until he spies her, then he looks back at me knowingly.

"I knew it!" He yells out triumphantly. "I knew she was in your bedroom."

I stare at him in disbelief.

He can't be serious.

"Yes. Because I sleep in my kitchen," I dryly answer, walking over to him. Everly is watching us with an amused look her face, and every time our eyes meet, there's a slight grin on her lips. I give Four two seconds to leave, and when doesn't, I shove him back.

"Fucking Stiff. Learn to handle your alcohol." I knock him back another step, and he pushes back at me. I roll my eyes, not at all impressed with him, and I doubt Everly is either. Even if she found him to be a decent human being, there's something highly entertaining about him in this moment, seeing him wasted. When he rears back to hit me, I grab his arm, yanking him toward the door.

"Go home and go to sleep. I'm not covering your class for you tomorrow." Four protests something stupid, and I slam the door in his face. I turn to Everly, still sitting there, her big eyes on me, and my mood snaps back to frustration. Her hair is a mess, rough from my hands raking through it, and her shirt is sliding down her shoulder. She seems to be in a perpetual state of undress, and I blink away the image of her between my legs.

Not that I'd like to give him any credit, but his interruption might have been for the best. Had he not stopped by to check on her, I might have broken in my kitchen counters, fucking her until the sun rose. As if she can read my thoughts, she adjusts her shirt, and sits up straighter, unconsciously willing me toward her.

"You go to bed, too."

"Four is drunk?" She stalls. Her tone tells me she's well aware of his state of inebriation, and she's simply waiting for me to return to her. "He seems so different."

She looks at me innocently, except not at all innocent.

"Apparently. He's irrationally concerned about you," I mutter, wondering when he'd get the hint to leave her alone. I'd done everything I could to minimize her exposure to him, yet there he was, downing his worries over her like he had a vested, personal interest in her. My shitty mood lifts when I spy her neck, the marks now stark against her skin. I smile, because Four will shit himself when he sees them. "I guess he just really wants to be your friend, Amity."

She gazes at me, her expression still a mixture of want and need, and she stares as I inspect her.

"Are you going to call me by my real name when I pass my initiation?" She looks up at me from beneath long eyelashes, and then at my mouth.

The same hot feeling flares up then, and I smirk at her.

"Ah, so you do like the way it sounds when I say your name." I lowly answer her, walking past her toward my bedroom. "I can think of another way you can make me say it."

She laughs from her perch on the counter, and I can hear her hop down. She walks into the bedroom after me, stopping to watch me pull my shirt over my head.

"Will Four be there tomorrow?" She asks, observing me the same way I observed her. She's brave coming in here like this, brave staring at me, brave when she chews her lip again.

"Who the fuck knows. We'll see if he shows up." I answer, tossing my shirt to the side. "Get ready for bed. You have a busy day waiting for you."

She smiles prettily, walking past me to brush her teeth, and the tension over Landon is long gone.

It's replaced with an entirely new kind of tension, but a far better kind.

 

 

She climbs into my bed timidly.

She has a funny look on her face, one that tells me she believes I'm about to leap off the bed and maul her. Though maybe that's because it wasn't that long ago I'd kissed her until both of us were panting, and only stopped because Four interrupted us. Whatever her reasoning is, she keeps her eyes on my bare chest as she climbs beneath my sheets.

I nod at her slowly, ridding the uncertainty in her stare. I had every intention of keeping my word about where she slept, and I wouldn't go back on it.

Especially not now.

She'd dressed in her own room, but her nightgown is something I've never seen before. I'm curious as to where she even found it, for it looks like nothing we'd have here. I vaguely wonder if Christian dropped it off with her jacket, since it looks right up his alley. It's pale and slinky, the pink fabric silky looking, and it doesn't fit.

It falls off her shoulder like everything else she owns and she pulls the flimsy strap back up while looking at me. I narrow my eyes at her, realizing she has no idea what this is doing to me.

She pulls at the strap again; it keeps sliding down as she moves, and I squint at her. The night gown is way too sweet and innocent, yet somehow far more seductive than anything Ashley had ever worn. I wonder it would feel like against my chest, or even better- sliding up over her hair as I pulled it off.

"Are you sure you're going to bed?" She asks, settling back on her side.

"Yes." I watch her stop moving, and I sit there, wondering how I missed all this before. The slope of her shoulder, the way the nightgown falls on her curve of her waist, the bare skin of her arm as she pulls the covers up. She's finally figured out which side of the bed I sleep on, and she settles into the other side, turning over to face away from me.

Which is for the best.

"Okay. Goodnight, Eric."

She says my name heavily, and the weight behind it is clear.

"Goodnight, Everly."

I say her real name, ignoring the sigh of content from her, and I close my eyes.

 

 

 

"Maintenance."

The man knocks on my door early, but I'm up anyway. I answer it with a dark look on my face, and an equally impatient attitude. I'd woken to Everly pressed against my chest and my arm draped over her. I'd been the one to seek her out this time, and if that wasn't bad enough, my leg was thrown over hers too. I'd trapped her against me in my sleep, the position doing nothing to ease my throbbing erection, and it was like she knew it.

When I moved away from her, she pushed herself back into me, and I scowled at the back of her head.

I had no clue if she was awake or not, but she certainly wasn't helping anything.

I had lain there in agony, debating waking her up and suggesting she remedy this situation, but in the end, I let her sleep. If I fuck the life out of her now, she'll never make it through Four's laughable class and I need her to pass this shit. I had finally untangled myself from her when I wasn't entirely hard anymore, stretching to wake myself up, and had climbed out of bed.

I'd barely turned on my shower when someone began pounding on the door, and my assumption it was Four wasn't at all correct. It was a man in a worn uniform, weary expression in place, and a clipboard in his hand.

"Yes?" I raise an eyebrow at him, losing my patience with every passing moment. I rarely got visitors, and I'd had more than my fair share lately. "What do you want?"

"Routine inspection. I'm supposed to check your heating, cooling, and plumbing. Per order from Erudite, we'll be running on conservation mode for the next two weeks. I need to make sure you're up to code."

"Fine." I wave him in and slam the door behind him. "Be quick about it. And quiet."

I don't particularly need him waking Everly up, any more than I need him discovering she's sleeping in my bed. I highly doubt he knows who she is, but I'm not risking it. I watch him walk down the hallway, nowhere near my bedroom door, and he fumbles with the rarely used cabinet at the far end. He makes a few notes, then motions for me to come over.

"You have both water lines active. You need them? I can turn one off and divert it to another unit. Most apartments only have one shower. I'll have to report if you have both hooked up." He pauses, looking directly at me. "Of course, if you want both on, I can leave it. I don't think they'll give you a hard time."

I smile at him before benevolently telling him to turn the one in the guest room off.

"You sure?" He asks, and I nod.

"Fine by me. In a few weeks, you can turn it back on. For now, I'll make do." I smirk as he shuts the valve off to the guest room, and the image of Everly, stripping her fancy little nightgown off to take a shower in my bathroom runs through my head.

"Thanks." His name tag reads Harold.

"Anytime." I tell him brightly.

He's pleased as ever with how this went, and he leaves immediately, going down the hallway to find the next apartment.

I return to my room, and my stare lands on Everly, still in my bed. She's not so covered up anymore, her nightgown all sorts of tangled up, and my body reacts by suggesting I join her. Climb back into my bed, continuing where we'd left off last night.

Instead, I head into my bathroom to take another freezing shower. I wash my hair quickly, and I focus on a few things to take my mind off her. I think about my emails, about Four vomiting up his guts this morning, and about Daniel not visiting Rylan. It works. I step out of the shower feeling irritable instead of aroused, and I reach for my towel. I have little time this morning, and neither does Everly. I hadn't woken her up and if she's not up now, she's going to miss her simulation.

I wrap the towel around my waist and glance up, just in time to see her standing there, a towel wrapped around herself. She's staring at my arms, and she looks up slowly to meet my eyes.

"You're a little late if you wanted to join me." I drop my stare to her bare shoulders, her hair pooling over them, and it's clear she's just discovered her shower doesn't work.

"My shower is broken! It won't work. And I'm late." She blurts out, attempting to hold her towel up. "I need to use yours."

It's hard not to smirk at her.

For someone who'd been yanking me toward her, kissing me like she couldn't get enough, and spending an awful lot of time staring at me while wearing nothing but a towel, she looks rather serious.

And tempting.

Her towel slips every time she moves, impatient for me to get out of her way.

"By all means." I motion dramatically to the shower door, and she rushes past me. She pauses outside of the shower door, abruptly freezing in place before turning around to look at me. I watch her lazily; I don't really plan on leaving, since I still need to comb my hair, so I have no real reason to leave. I watch her look at me like I'm nuts, her expression darkening with every passing second.

Little Amity dares to scowl at me, in my own bathroom, after asking to use my shower.

Ungrateful.

"Eric," She hisses, taking a step closer to me. "I'm going to be late. And I don't want to have to explain to Four that you wouldn't get out of the bathroom while I showered."

Her words entertain me to no end. The look on Four's face would well be worth it, and I contemplate it. Maybe I'd walk down there with her, just to see her say it to him.

"I'd love to hear you tell him that."

Her eyes darken, but I decide to give her some privacy. After all, I did turn her shower off and she has to spend the day with Four.

I lazily saunter out of my bathroom, smirking when I hear her yelp under the icy water.

 

 

Four looks like shit, even from the security feed.

I watch him walk through the hallways, slowly, miserably. Judging by the way he pauses, pressing on his temples for a moment and screwing his eyes shut, I bet he's had a rough night and an even rougher morning.

I smirk all the way to my office.

I walk alone. It isn't unusual, but I also hadn't walked Everly anywhere today. She had simulations to attend, and I needed to be in my office as soon as possible. While watching Four was a hilarious way to spend my time, I had work to do. I had planned out my entire day down to the minute, so I sent her on her way after a brief glimpse at her neck.

The marks were still there, and Four would have to have gone blind to miss them.

My smirk felt like it might become permanent, until I opened my office door.

"You're late, Coulter."

Arlene greets me from the same chair Everly had sat in. She's reclined back like she owns the place, flipping through a file and a stack of papers that undoubtably came from my desk.

"Who let you out? Shouldn't you be downstairs, ruining the lives of everyone you encounter?" I bark at her, deciding I'll give her thirty seconds of my time. I've found that indulging her occasionally usually pacified her enough to leave me alone, and with any luck, today was a routine visit.

The minute I walk behind my desk, I can tell I'm wrong.

"It's nice to see you, too. I stopped by to see you and your trainee." She looks around in an exaggerated manner, then smiles in fake confusion. "Where is Everly Coulter?"

I slowly raise my stare to her, cocking my eyebrow in complete mockery. "She's with Four, completing her simulations. I would have assumed you knew that. Didn't you memorize her training schedule?"

"I must have read the curriculum wrong. But I wanted to ask you a few questions. I looked her up, and I found a few things about her you might want to know." Arlene looks smug, and I take the seat at my desk. Truth be told, I had looked her up not long ago. I'd found nothing of any major interest, unless you found her living in Amity with her parents to be scandalous.

"I doubt you'll tell me anything I don't already know. But look, I have a lot to do today. My work. Emails. Things that don't involve you hanging out here. I'm sure you understand." I gesture to the papers in her hands, and she rolls her eyes.

"You really think you're going to rid the factions of every Divergent out there? Haven't you grown bored of doing her dirty work? Do you ever wonder when or if Jeanine will be satisfied?"

I bristle at her words, but I can't deny there's a speck of truth to them.

"I told you, I'm busy. Why are you here again?"

"You know there will be an interest in why Everly is doing so well. Her ranking is higher than expected and her scores are above average for a girl coming from a farming faction." Arlene tosses the files back onto my desk and smiles widely. "I'm sure you've noticed this now, but there's a lot of interest in what you're doing with her."

"Because I trained her. I don't train losers."

"Daniel also has an interest in the Amity faction, you know. They've been having some issues with their…lack of medical care."

"Fascinating." I answer dryly. "I don't know how this relates to me, but the best of luck to him."

"I'll pass it on." She retorts, and she eyes me carefully. "I noticed Everly Carlen is on the list you're working your way through. Everly Coulter is not."

"No shit." I log into my computer, waiting for my email to load. "Is there something else you need?"

"You like her, don't you?" Arlene presses on, staring at me over my desk. "I've seen her around a few times. She's quiet. Nice. She seems to like you."

I don't answer her.

"I wanted to apologize for implying you were pressuring her to sleep with you." I jerk my stare to her and she doesn't bother to look guilty. "The two of you seem very close and I was concerned. Initiates are impressionable and she's with you at all times. To my surprise, she was very defensive of you when I questioned her."

I sit there, staring at Arlene, frantically trying to piece all this together.

"What are you getting at?"

"Has she made any friends here? Does she interact with any of the others?" Arlene questions, and I bristle at her interrogation. She can tell. She sits up and looks right at me. "You're equally defensive over her. I just want to make sure if things don't work out with…you and your trainee, she's able to assimilate after."

"Thank you for your concern but she'll be fine." I answer, clicking on the first email. "She's friends with Christina." The name tastes bitter in my mouth, and I'm not even sure I could classify them as friends. But I know Everly seemed to like her for some unknown reason and this feels like I'm desperately trying to justify my actions. "She'll be fine when her training is done."

"Did you think she'd rank so high? Honestly?"

I shake my head, clicking on Jeanine's message. "No. She's half the size of the smallest one in Four's class. There was a high chance she'd fail out without additional help that Four couldn't give her."

"But now?" Arlene asks, and I neatly type back an answer to the message blinking at me. I inform Jeanine I will be at the Leadership Dinner, and I can talk with her then. For once, she is easily appeased; she responds immediately, telling me that's fine.

"She can hold her own. Obviously, someone larger and stronger than her will have an advantage. But she can shoot. She can fight." I send the message and look over at her. "Anything else you'd like to know?"

"Your father wants to know about her." She pauses and smiles tightly. "So does your mother."

"Daniel and Blythe have no reason to want to know anything about myself or Everly." I tense up unexpectedly, my shoulders rising. "Did you say something to them? Why would they think they have any right to know about her?"

"I didn't say anything. But Daniel is scheduled to come by at some point during our software update. He mentioned you said you were training her, and I'm sure he'd like to see you. Maybe meet her."

"No thanks." I answer sharply and she nods in understanding.

"Alright. I should head back. I just came by to inform you everything is fine with your wife." Arlene grins at me, her expression incredibly satisfied. "Other than her birth control, we won't need to see her back for a bit. If you'd like me to change that, let me know."

She looks directly at me, and I narrow my eyes back at her. I had no clue Everly had agreed to any birth control, but then again, I hadn't bothered to read through her file.

Maybe I should have.

"Funny." I retort, and I reach for the files. "Are you leaving now?"

"I'll be back to see you" Arlene announces, her words a thinly veiled threat. "Maybe next week."

"Maybe not." I answer, opening my report to the first page. I reach for a pen and wave her out, violently motioning toward the door. "Thanks for coming by."

My sarcasm is lost on her, because she stands up slowly, giving me a very knowing look.

"I was thinking…" she purposely waits until I look at her, and her eyes flash behind her glasses. "She might be the one."

"The one what?" I snap, almost completely out of patience for her.

"The one who you keep around. Not someone who hangs around, like that blonde idiot you seemed to like. But maybe she's the one you need. Everly seems happy with you, and you're happy with her. I think this might work out for the best."

"Get out." I point at the door, and she doesn't move. "Now. You're done for the day."

"I'll let you mull it over. Just think about it." Arlene pushes her glasses up before she leaves, looking back at me once.

I hesitate at shoving her face first into the wall, only because I have a speck of respect for her. Her intent, as always, was to make sure things stayed in order. She liked order almost as much as I did. Following up on Everly was another box for her to check and trying to pick apart my brain was another.

She always thought she could get to me, and funny enough, this time, she did.

I think of her words for the next hour, solely focused on one thing she said. Despite running her mouth for far longer than necessary, the phrase my wife keeps ringing in my ears. I fight it down every time, distracting myself by any means necessary.

I focus on the wall in front of me. It is dark, plain. Decorated with awards I've earned. Certifications. Recognitions. From Max. From Jeanine.

I read my last name, associating it immediately with Everly.

I blink.

I dismiss such a ridiculous, obnoxiously gross idea. Daniel's marriage has shown me nothing good has ever come from marrying anyone, and I'd be stupid to ever entertain such a thought. There was no reason I'd ever need to be married, nor want to.

Especially not to her.

Ever.

 

 

My lunch break might be worse than sitting with Jeanine.

Rylan sits across from me, attempting to eat his lunch quickly, while simultaneously texting Christina. I watch him irritably, drinking my coffee and texting no one. I ignore my own phone, the only messages on it are from Jeanine and Ashley. I'd deleted Ashley's without reading it, and I'd left Jeanine's unanswered.

"Why are you in here? Where's Everly?" Rylan asks, looking up from his phone. "Don't you normally eat together?"

"I'm working today. She's with Four." I remind him, stabbing aimlessly at my plate.

"Christina knows you kissed her. Why didn't you tell me?" Rylan asks me after gulping down a huge bite of chicken, then choking as he tries to swallow. He looks down at his phone, watching it vibrate so long it nearly falls off the table, and he shakes his head. "You really kissed her? The chick from Amity?"

I stare up at him, slow horror working its way through every single cell in my body. I'd kissed her less than 24 hours ago, and I'd fully expected it to stay between us. My apartment had always been a place of sanctuary for me. What happened there, stayed there.

Which included kissing her.

"Before you lose your shit…" Rylan pauses, stabbing his own food with the wrong hand so he can still type back to Christina. "Everly didn't say anything. Chris guessed because Four was drunk or something and mumbling to Tris about some fight. Christina put it all together. She's so smart. She's like, maybe she should have picked Erudite instead of here."

I stare at him, until his face blurs before me.

"They think it's cute. So, no worries."

I set my fork down.

Agreeing to train Everly had been a bad idea. Sleeping beside her wasn't any better. Kissing Everly had been the dumbest one I've had so far. But allowing Christina to live, that might top the list for the worst possible decision I had ever made.

It wouldn't be long before they all knew. If Christina knew, Tris knew. If Tris knew, eventually it would get to Four. If Four knew, I could guarantee he'd be in here with rest of the faction, claiming Everly's scores weren't real.

Which they were.

I'd scored her harder than anyone, but not a soul would believe that if they thought I was involved with her.

The look on my face must read oh shit because Rylan looks at me sympathetically.

"You want me to tell her to keep it quiet?" He asks, his expression serious. "I can make her promise not to say anything."

I look to the side of him, to the empty offices, knowing that out there, Max was standing with Jason. With Harrison. With Tori. With our newest Leader in Training named Jeremy. I have the sticky, itchy, burning feeling that my entire life is about to go up in flames. I'll never live down the fact that I kissed my initiate, because the entire fucking faction will know. My reputation will be done for. Everything I'd worked for gone.

I'll forever have it hanging over my head that I let Amity get to me, before she was even past her initiation.

"Eric? You okay? I can tell her to keep it on the DL. She'll listen, you know. She really likes Everly. She said she's cool. She won't want her to be mad at her."

"Yes." I answer sharply, far more sharply than necessary for someone who's offering to help me. "Tell her…fuck, tell her not to breathe a word of that."

"Done." Rylan taps something on his phone, and it vibrates immediately. "Okay, but…you did kiss her."

His last sentence is spoken in a rather juvenile, accusatory tone. He looks over intently, waiting for me to answer him.

I stare back at him, having no such explanation for why I kissed her. I'd thought it would put me back in the right mental state: one where I didn't want to fuck girls from Amity who slept in my bed like they owned the place.

"You do like her, don't you? You said she was pretty." Rylan asks slowly, painfully. He doesn't look repulsed by the idea, but strangely supportive. "Is that why she has your last name? This isn't entirely bad, you know. Christina really likes her. Like, obsessively. She said they're having dinner together and…"

Fuck.

I wipe my mouth with my hand, badly needing a drink. A thousand drinks. To drown in something that will make me forget what I'd done.

"She's-" I start, but he shakes his head.

"I swear to God, if you say 'she's fine' one more time, I will shoot you myself. You can like her. No one is going to care." He interrupts me, and his eyes fly to the door. "Okay, well maybe Tori might care. Or Lauren. They might find it suspect that she ranked so highly after you've been making out with her. Four probably won't approve but he doesn't approve of anything so I wouldn't worry about that."

"I didn't…" My protest dies when Jason bursts through the door, looking at me with a shit eating grin on his face.

"I saw her." He declares, and I look up at his elated posture. "We're talking about Everly, right? I only assumed because Eric looks nauseated. But I saw her walking with Christina into the mess hall. Christina looked excited and Everly…Coulter…looked to be about four feet tall. Since when did we start accepting children here?"

I close my eyes.

I've never wished for the Earth to swallow me whole, but right now I do.

I feel sweaty, my uniform too tight and my head heavy.

This is embarrassing. Utter mortification washes over me like someone's thrown ice water in my face. Jumping off the chasm has a sudden appeal to it.

"Hey, dude." Rylan announces, and I hear him push his chair back. "Chill. We know. She's short. She's almost done with her training. We can talk about this later."

I open my eyes to both of them staring at me, and Jason nodding.

"I didn't say she was hideous. I just said she was short. She's probably like sleeping with a stuffed animal."

I throw my fork at him as hard as possible, and he yelps when it hits his arm.

"Rude and ineffective." He raises his eyebrows at me and crosses his arms. "Anyway, if you're done losing your mind over your tiny girlfriend, Max is ready for us all to meet."

"Great." Rylan stands up, throwing me a look that tells me I'll regret this moment for the rest of my life. "We're coming."

I follow them both out slowly, pausing to grab my tablet. I close it out, not before catching sight of Lauren, marching her class down the even more dimly lit hallway. She has a nasty look on her face, but it matches her personality, so I don't think anything of it.

At least until I see her in Max's office.

 

 

Fifteen minutes later, she joins us, sliding into the seat next to me, and side eyeing me hard enough I'm surprised her eyeball doesn't pop out. Max stops the meeting to hand us both a form, and I squint at it silently, not at all enjoying his formatting skills.

"All initiates need to fill this out?" Lauren asks, confused as to what he'd given us.

She shouldn't be.

It's a form; a boring and ill spaced one, with a plethora of boxes to choose from. It's new, made by him, and only sort of awful. I read it quickly, realizing Everly will fill one out in the next few weeks when she finishes her training.

"Toward the end of the initiation, all initiates will be asked to complete this in its entirety. What actually happens will depend on a number of factors. But this will give us an idea of where they believe their strengths lie. If they are interested in pursuing a career not on here, or one more advanced than working a routine position, have them mark the box. Eric will approve or deny anyone for the Leadership Apprentice Program, and if not selected- he'll assign them work elsewhere. Keep in mind, if you've discussed any of these options with them, some have limited availability. We already have Jeremy working with us, and we don't need ten eighteen-year olds applying to run our faction.

He looks at both of us, and smiles.

"I eagerly await the results of these forms."

Neither of us smile back.

"I can't wait to see what everyone picks." Lauren announces, turning her dark eyes to me. She holds my stare, then smiles, nastily. "It'll be telling what the initiates think they can take on."

Max doesn't answer her, in fact- no one does.

Jason rolls his eyes and Rylan stares at her with a dirty look on his face.

"Is someone telling Four about this?" He asks. He looks at me, and I pretend I can't see him in the darkness. In an effort to conserve power, only the backup lights are on, and it's hard to see anything really.

"I will." Max yawns, looking at his watch. "Let's break for lunch. We'll meet back here in an hour. We've got a small issue with getting every faction in conservation mode. If it's not resolved by the time we're back, we'll send everyone out."

He dismisses us and I leave, not bothering to wait for Jason or Rylan.

 

 

I make it to the elevators before Lauren finds me. Her stare is hotly accusatory, and she steps in front of me.

I look right at her, and she glares right back.

"How is she ranking so highly?"

"Who?" I ask in a bored tone, not at all interested in her game.

"Don't pretend I'm stupid. _Your trainee._ " She says the last word mockingly, rage building within her. "Why. Is. She. Ranking. So. High. You're really going to tell me she's better than everyone? If she's so great, why don't you have her train with us for a while? Show us how great she really is. I don't see any reason why she gets you."

I count to five. I shove her out of my way when the elevator dings and the doors open wide. She yelps, her elbow hitting the wall and I stalk past her.

"Eric." She snarls, rabid at my refusal to answer her, rubbing at her arm.

I turn around and push the button for a few floors below us. Lauren scrambles to make it into the elevator, but I push the close button. The doors shut in her face, and I stare at the metal, my gaze still bored.

 

 

I find Everly frowning at the wilting salad bar.

Lettuce had never been Quinten's strength, but he'd done his best to utilize everything he had to stretch his supplies. Unfortunately for anyone eating here today, there was absolutely nothing on the table that looked appealing. Most of it was from yesterday, food that would normally have been thrown out or given to Abnegation to disperse, but today, it wasn't. Everly wrinkles her nose as someone tries to plate some of it, then shoves it back in disgust. I take her elbow, and she looks up at me, surprise crossing her face at my arrival.

"Don't eat that." I warn her, and her lips turn up.

"Nothing else looks much better. The other table is worse. I think they said one dish was macaroni and cheese, but it looks nothing like what you made." She stares at me, her preference for dining my apartment all over her face, until the man next to her slams his plate down.

"We had this yesterday!" He yells, frustrated at the selection of soups. He stomps past us, grabbing a day-old muffin and storms out, still swearing.

"What is going on here?" She watches as he continues to shriek, raging over the loss of his soup selection. "Everywhere is dark and the food is…less appealing than normal."

"The faction is in conservation mode." I inform her, and she looks confused. "All factions are doing their best to conserve resources. It means we run on low power, eat leftover food that would normally have gone to waste, and cut down our water usage."

She narrows her eyes at me at the last part. "You don't say."

I smirk, and gently pull her along with me. I've eased up on jerking her around, and instead, let her naturally fall into place with me. "I'll have Quinten make you something. I had a feeling it wasn't going to be pretty down here."

Twenty minutes later, she and I sit in his office, eating turkey sandwiches away from the rest of the faction. It's by no means an amazing meal, but it was far better than what everyone else was eating. Everly takes in the surroundings from her seat atop the filing cabinet. The office is small and cramped, his budgets and meal plans strewn everywhere, with no real place to sit other than a single desk chair. There's a kitchen staff schedule pinned to the wall, a list of perishable items on hand with dates in red, a list of available shifts to work, and Everly reads it all while she chews her lunch.

"Do many people want to work in the kitchens?" She looks at me and tilts her head. Her hair falls down, touching my arm every time she moves, and I eye her position. There was nowhere else for her to sit, unless she wanted to climb into my lap, but the way she gazes at me tells me just might have.

"Not especially." I take a bite of my own sandwich, swallowing it down with zero enthusiasm. "Some like it. It's away from the faction. The hours are early or late but possibly better than those on the fence."

"The fence seems…far from here." She says slowly, looking right at me. "We're supposed to go see it, right?"

"The fence is…the fence. You work your shift and that's it. It's nothing impressive." I tell her, kicking my feet up onto the edge of Quinten's desk. "And we are going to see it. You eager to get out of Dauntless again? You got someone else you want to run into?"

To her credit, she holds my stare. Our trip to Amity hadn't gone well, but it had ended with her all worked up on my kitchen counter, so it wasn't entirely awful. I smirk at her, at the memory of her whimpering against me, until she clears her throat.

"Funny. But no, I don't know anyone on the fence." She answers, pushing her hair behind her ear, and she changes the subject quickly. "Did Four give you any of the simulation results yet?"

I shake my head. "No. Are you handling them alright? Any issues?"

"No, they're fine. They're intense, but I can get through them. Sometimes they give me a headache."

"That's normal." I tell her, eyeing my sandwich with disgust. "It's a side effect of the serum."

"By the time I'm done with all of them, they make me super tired." She smiles at me, and she looks like she's trying hard not to laugh. "How many fears did you have?"

I take a long sip of my coffee, ignoring her question. She looks at me curiously, then glances down at a note Quinten had written – a kind demand for less corn and more rice, and I wait until she looks back at me. My fear landscape was long ago, and I'm sure it would be much different now.

But how many fears I had was not something I cared for her to know.

"Enough. I didn't find the simulations particularly hard. I dealt with them the way I believed anyone should. One by one."

Everly gets the hint and she nods her head. "I'll be glad when that part is done."

She stops talking and resumes eating, and I pretend to focus on my sandwich, but I watch her out of the corner of my eye. She looks just like she did last night, her shirt off one shoulder, and her leggings pulled up and folded so they sit above her ankles. She looks happy, content to be away from the rest of the faction, and just fine eating with me.

I think of Arlene's words, and I cock my head to the side to observe her.

Unfortunately, Everly wouldn't make a great wife.

I watch her pick apart her sandwich, her hair falling in her face. I could only assume she couldn't cook anything, she slept half her life away- preferably on me, like she owned me. She was always seconds away from stumbling over my feet, she knew how to get under my skin, yet she wasn't afraid of me. Her clothes didn't seem to stay on her, and when she wanted something, she fought dirty- always blinking up and looking innocent, forcing me to give in to what she wanted.

Her eyes were too big.

Her hair was too long.

She was too pretty looking sometimes, too striking to have chosen a faction designed to spend our lives in violence. I wonder if she'd thought about it before coming here. If needed, she'd be ripped away from whatever job she chose, and forced into battle. She'd bleed like anyone else, and she'd be expected to fight, no matter who she was.

I look at her again, thinking of her last name – still listed as mine, and I stop looking at her.

She was kind. Ambitious. She tried hard at everything, and all she'd needed was someone to give her a chance. Her ex-boyfriend hadn't believed in her. Even Four hadn't. He could have worked with her; he could have pushed himself to keep her alive, letting her train with his class if he'd really wanted to. She would have listened to him, done whatever he asked to try and make it here.

She smiles at me over her glass of water, and I smile back, sort of, still lost in my thoughts.

"I think I should head back soon. Four got really mad when his class was late last time. I was the only one there when he arrived back from lunch."

"Of course you were." I snort, removing my boots from the desk. "I'll walk you over there."

"I'm sure he'd love to see you again." She hops down off the filing cabinet and grins up at me. "You two don't really like each other, do you?"

She's close to me, just like always- far too close, and I stand up slowly. I look down at her, a smirk spreading over my face and she looks up from beneath her hair. I reach for her, pushing it out of her eyes, much preferring when I can see her. Really see her.

I lean in, bending down close to her ear, until my nose touches her hair.

"You have no idea how much I despise him, Amity."

"Well look who we have here. Eric. Everly. It's good to see you again."

I stand up from her, slowly, blinking at the sight of Max standing there. He's got a thrilled look on his face, one that makes my stomach turn over unpleasantly, because he's watching us intently. He's got a keen eye on how close I am to her, how seconds ago I was whispering in her ear, how she's primed toward me.

I could snap a defense, that I was merely explaining to Everly how much I hated Four, but I get the feeling he's been standing there longer than I know. He waits until I step away from her, and he hands her the papers he's brought.

I don't hear anything he says.

My blood is pumping too loudly, and I have the absurd feeling of being caught red-handed.

 

 

 

"What's the Leadership Apprentice Program?" She sits on my bed cross-legged, her hands full of papers. A few are beyond what Max had shown us- information about the positions, a map of the posts that needed soldiers, and the last page is the one I'd read.

Max hadn't stayed long. He'd handed Everly the papers and informed her Four was running behind. I was tempted to stay, but instead I walked out with him, leaving her alone. I felt like I should go with him. He'd already walked in on me standing close to her, and I felt regrettably defensive.

He didn't say a word about her.

He talked my ear off about Jeremy, how brilliant he was and how quickly he'd caught on. I'd found him to be suspicious, sketchy and shifty. He reminded me of Four; they looked similar, brown hair and squinty eyes, and he was just as twitchy. He seemed all too enthused for someone who'd been assigned to shadow Harrison, and he'd tried to insert himself into several of my conversations. I then sat and listed to him talk about his thoughts. How he viewed the faction. His interpretation of our manifesto. By the time he was done, eagerly beaming and so fucking thrilled to be here, I couldn't see straight.

I left with a migraine. A sharp, stabbing pain behind my eye that was unrelenting. It hurt enough that I'd stopped by the infirmary, downing something the nurse gave me, and headed home. I made a halfhearted dinner, still better than anything Quinten would have made, and I ate half of it. Everly had noticed; she watched me, frowning when I stood up, and frowning further when I left my plate on the counter. The pain killer had worked, but I had no appetite, only the strong urge to shut my eyes.

I'd walked back into my bedroom after brushing my teeth, finding Everly sitting on my bed with the papers in her hand.

"It's a training program for new leaders. Or anyone interested in becoming a leader. We don't always have positions open, so this allows higher-ranking initiates to train until they are ready. Did Max give you those?"

She looks confused, and I dully remember he did.

I was there. Right next to her. Whispering in her ear.

How could I forget.

"Don't worry. You can fill it out whenever."

"Am I supposed to pick what I want to do after training?" Everly looks up from the paper to watch me; I pull at the collar of my t-shirt and easily slide it off. After last night, undressing in front of her should go over about as well as throwing gasoline on a fire. Her stare trails down my chest to my hips. I can feel her staring, an innocence somewhere in there, but also raw want. I smirk at the expression on her face, and I stare at her until she finally looks up.

"Yes."

Though her cheeks are flushed with her blood, she narrows her eyes at me, pretending I didn't just catch her checking me out. "Well, the first one has a stupid name. So, I'm not picking that one."

Her logic is astounding. I roll my eyes, then flop down on the bed next to her. My head feels far better now, simply tired and heavy and slow. I lie flat on my back, and I sling one arm across my eyes. It feels strangely soothing, minimal pressure against my aching head.

"I can give you some more information about the LAP program if you're curious." I mock her, for I'm the one in charge of the stupid program. It was a dumb idea implemented by Max, and I rarely accepted anyone into it. I had high standards; most wouldn't fit the criteria, and I refused to train someone who wouldn't last.

Everly doesn't appreciate my tone. She bravely kicks me to get my attention, but I don't move. I'm too tired, and I'm seconds away from snapping at her to put the papers away. Truth of the matter is, she can have any job she likes. She's ranking first, and she'll have first pick.

I try to think of what she'll choose, but it's impossible to know. Her interests weren't something we'd discussed, though I should go over some options with her. While not a spoken rule, I have some responsibility to make sure she winds up in a job that will be beneficial to her. Otherwise, this was all a waste of time.

I feel her shift on the bed, doing God knows what. A second later she moves again, scooting closer to me. I keep my eyes shut, letting myself lie there in my own misery, until I feel her fingers.

She touches my collarbone.

I tense up immediately.

Her touch isn't at all invasive; it's slow and light, tracing outward toward my shoulder. She gently trails them over my skin, and I force myself not to move.

I have no clue what she's doing.

"What do the other apartments look like?" My jaw tightens at her question. I keep my arm over my eyes, exasperated that she's asking. The question seems harsh compared to her touch.

"Small. Plain." I answer. "Thinking of moving?"

She presses her luck.

She moves closer, shifting so her legs are against my side. Her fingers work upward, the sensation pleasant until she reaches my neck. She slides her fingers over the bottom of my tattoo, and my eyes fly open. I catch her wrist tightly, and stare directly at her.

"What are you doing?" I snap. Kissing her had been one thing, but letting her touch me like this, delicately, purposefully, isn't something I'm about to do.

She's undeterred. Everly looks down at me, her expression curious and not at all bothered.

"Did that hurt? That tattoo." She leans closer in, her hair falling over me.

"No."

I loosen my grip on her wrist, and she wiggles her hand away. But she doesn't give up her exploration she's embarked upon.

"How about these?" She touches my earlobe gently, right below the gauge in it.

"No."

I lie. Those had hurt- but in a good way. Stretching them caused a pleasant, burning sensation. The piercer went slowly, prolonging the burn and preventing the skin from ripping. But I wasn't about to tell her that. She wouldn't get it.

Her skin was completely free from anything of the sort.

She lets go of my earlobe, and traces the outer edge of my ear. I let her, because the feeling isn't awful. She leans in even closer, pressing up against me, slowly tracing her fingers through the side of my hair until she reaches my temple. I stare up at her warily, wondering what she's doing. Why I am letting her do it. I really should toss her off the bed, and send her back to her own room. Tell her the game is over.

She continues, touching my temple, her fingers pressing gently here and there. The feeling is soothing, causing a pleasant warmth to rush over me. When she gets to the piercing above my eyebrow she presses down, confusion on her face.

"No." I answer before she can ask, and I have to fight the urge to smirk at her.

"Does anything hurt you?" Her fingers touch my hair, sliding through easily. She rakes them back and forth, the action far different than last night, but just as enjoyable. My eyes close on their own, and I give in to her, blaming my headache. She runs her finger the opposite way, softly, sweetly. This is foreign to me. The feeling is blissful, far beyond anything I've experienced before.

"No."

Sleep pulls at me, and I don't fight it. I shift slightly, making myself comfortable. "Are you going to fill out your paper?"

"No," She answers, and I huff. She's mocking me, but it doesn't bother me. I find her amusing, especially when she touches my lips. She lets her fingers stay there, her touch light, and I don't stay awake much longer. I drift off to the feeling of her next to me, not even pretending her touch isn't pleasurable.

The last thing I feel is her, or really- the absence of her, when she removes her fingers from me.

 

 

 

I wake up before my alarm.

She's pressed against me; her back against my chest, her legs angled with mine. My arm is over her, and instinctively, I've kept her close to me while I slept. I don't bother to pretend I'm surprised. I shove myself away from her, the cold air hitting me full force, and I head to take a shower.

I swear at her, over and over again, Everly fucking Coulter, while I rinse my hair in the frigid water.

The papers mock me while I get dressed.

I stare at them while I zip up my jacket. For once, I'd fallen asleep before her, leaving her to her own devices. But she hadn't filled them out. It looks like she'd tossed them aside and climbed right into bed with me. I eye them while I lace up my boots, and by the time I walk over to grab my watch, I grab them as well.

I pause in the kitchen, debating waking her up, but it's far earlier than she needs to get ready. So, I grab a pen, and flip through the pages.

She doesn't have much of her training left. According to my schedule, she only has two more practice simulations left, a week of survival training, and her fear landscape before the final rankings will be posted. She'll be forced to pick a job to begin, and she'll start training beneath someone else.

I chew the inside of my cheek as I begin to mark her selections.

I justify my actions with the reasoning that she'll have no clue what to pick. We haven't even touched on what patrol squads do, nor does she know what being out on a rotation is like. She doesn't have any artistic ability as far as I know, and she hasn't even touched a computer. A safe option for her would be to work in the control room; it would be easy for her to learn, but that meant she'd eventually work with Four again, and he'd jump at the chance to get to know her. To prove he was better than me. Nicer. Friendlier.

That little friendship was something I wasn't about to let happen.

The best option, and most logical, is to stay with me.

I could continue her training. I'd make sure she had a position that was worth something. A position she earned, something that others would want. If she wanted a future here, she needed to continue onto the best. After all, what good was leaving Amity to come here and watch clouds all day?

The fact that I ran the program I was signing her up for wouldn't hurt either.

She wouldn't have to move. She could stay here, a bonus considering our conservation status. Free up an apartment for someone else. She would learn everything she needed, from the person who knew the most.

Me.

I could make sure she was trained in all the areas I felt needed attention. It was for the best, and for her benefit.

I mark all the options to my liking.

When I'm done, I glance at my bedroom door, half expecting to see her standing there watching. But she doesn't appear, so I leave, heading into the office and taking her papers along with me. I stop by Max's office, and he looks up in surprise.

"I know it's early." I tell him, and he takes the page from me carefully. "But she's pretty dead set on this path. Between you and I, it's for the best. It would be a waste for her to end up patrolling through Abnegation when we can use her elsewhere."

He breaks our stare to skim the paper.

His lips twitch.

"And you'll accept her? You have a reputation of denying all applicants. We only brought on Jeremy after you hadn't picked anyone in two years." Max questions.

"I'll accept her. She's scored high enough to be considered."

"She's certainly scoring…well." Max nods his head, and he picks up his pen. He signs his acceptance along the bottom, approving her to start the program. "Fine by me. I'm sure she'll be an excellent asset to your team. Congratulations."

I take the papers from him, narrowing my eyes.

"Thanks."

I don't really need his approval on anything, but I thought it might be nice for him to be included.

"Actually," Max pauses, and he reaches out. "I'll need those back. I'll drop them your way when I'm done with them."

I can't think of a single thing he'd need them for. In fact, why he's in his officer early is suspicious anyway. But I shrug, handing him the papers back. I head into my own office, blinking in surprise when I find someone waiting for me.

He smiles tightly and pushes his glasses up on his face, his posture giving way to his uneasiness. I take in his stiff jacket, his neatly parted hair, and I feel my lip curl up into a sneer.

"Hello, Eric."

I don't answer him.


	10. Survival of the Coulterest

Daniel stands there, waiting for me in my own office.

At first glance, he looks fine. He fits in amongst the neat order of the bookshelves and the perfectly organized desk. Upon further inspection, he looks out of place; his suit is too pristine, tailored to fit him and ironed by his housekeeper. His hair is neatly parted, the heavy waves held in place, and it's obvious he's just had it cut. I realize I've never seen it grown out, never varied from the way it is now. He holds himself stiffly, like he's afraid he'll absorb some of the chaos simply by being here, and he cocks his head to the side, the slightest hint of impatience coming through.

He gestures at my wall, the newest plaque of accomplishment having been nailed up there, and his wedding ring gleams beneath the dull light.

The band is plain, but heavy and expensive. Symbolic of his marriage. Rings are a big deal in Erudite. The materials to have them made are scarce, but not impossible if you're willing to pay. But the sentiment behind it, the announcement to the faction he was no longer looking for someone to share his life with, was huge.

In Erudite, marriage is an important decision. It means you've found someone who shares your same ideals and ways of thinking. A mirrored ambition and work ethic. Someone of the same social status, someone you've pledged to spend your time with, working to better yourselves and your faction. It had better work out, because divorce in Erudite is rare. It is a glaring defeat, a mark on a spotless record, and it leaves a tarnished reputation behind.

Blythe's wedding ring is large and gaudy; weighty diamonds that seem to make her skinny fingers look even bonier, a band that matches. I can vaguely remember seeing it while she drank her coffee in the morning, the stones sliding to the side as she seemed to grow thinner and thinner with each passing day.

Despite barely speaking to each other, they never took their rings off. Their marriage didn't quite live up to its promise, but they accepted it. They kept it to themselves, a dark secret festering between them as they worked to keep up the front that the Coulter's were just fine. Happy in their extravagant lives, smarter than the rest, better than everyone else. They were doing their best to help their faction, no matter the cost.

Daniel was driven by his word, attempting to keep his promise to his wife, never wanting to give up.

Blythe would have keeled over before admitting she'd failed at something.

"Eric, you have a second? I was thinking maybe we could walk and get some coffee?"

"What?" My head snaps up, and I realize he's staring at me with a hopeful look on his face. "You came all the way here for coffee?"

"No," Daniel relaxes, taking my question as a sign I wasn't going to tell him to fuck off back to Erudite. "I came by to see Arlene and go through some updates with the infirmary. I thought maybe you'd be free. I wanted to catch up with you and Rylan. Jason, too. If you're free, of course."

"I'm not." I answer roughly, but I hesitate long enough that he steps closer to me.

His sudden appearance is very suspicious.

I remember Arlene saying he'd be arriving in the next few days, but his timing is suspect. I assume he's come down here to smooth things over with Rylan, but also to see what I'm doing. By now, Jeanine is livid she isn't my top priority. I've pushed her off, choosing to focus on my work here, and it has royally pissed her off. She may have played it off in her email, but Daniel's appearance tells otherwise.

She'd have gone straight to Blythe. Blythe would have gone straight to Daniel, insisting he try to pry an answer out of me because occasionally, I give him the time of day.

It's all the more irritating he's here, now, pretending to care about what is going on in my life. He's met Jason a handful of times, and only maintains contact with Rylan because Rylan was nice to him. Rylan's own father was no one important, and he found Daniel to be impressive. Smart. Driven. Compassionate.

I didn't.

Unfortunately, I don't have any time for this. I have other things more important than him that need my attention, and no time to ease the guilt he's pretending to be crushed by.

"I have paperwork to do. I'm sure you understand." I raise my eyebrow at him, staring him down.

He holds my stare easily. He's just as tall as I am, and he could be just as commanding.

If he had it in him.

But he doesn't, and his predictable apology is shit.

"You know I didn't want to cancel on Rylan. I told him I'd make it up to him."

He tries to smile, but his expression betrays the slick confidence he normally has. Putting someone's brain back together is no issue for him, but being a decent human being is. I haven't spoken to him since our phone call, and but his recent stunt has left me irritated on behalf of Rylan.

"Was there something else you wanted?"

My words are snapped at him, with zero respect, as my tolerance for him lessens to nothingness. To me, he doesn't deserve any, but as the head neurologist in Erudite, he's used to people being in awe of him. He's well liked, his position earned after years of dedicated work, and he's loved by his patients.

His family had come last.

Even now.

"I wanted to see how you are. Last time we spoke, you were busy, training…" he pauses, and I watch as he waits for me to say her name. "Everly. The one from Amity."

I watch him, blinking once at his audacity.

"No, the other one from Amity." I snap.

My father, quite possibly the smartest man in Erudite, misses my annoyance completely. I'd made the mistake of telling him her name, and now he was here, that information spurring him on. "You mentioned she was tired. I was thinking maybe you had a second and we could talk about a few ways to remedy¬—"

"I don't have a second. Maybe Rylan does. I have the book you let him borrow. I'm supposed to return it to you." I stare at him, and I can see defeat slide over him. Pointing out he'd bailed on Rylan was a dick move, and he reacts to it instantly. He swallows heavily, his pristine jacking wrinkling as he shifts in place, and frowns at me.

"I got held up in surgery. I called him to apologize but he didn't answer."

"What a shame." I answer coldly.

He frowns further.

"You know I have a busy schedule. I can't always get away when I think I can."

"I'm well aware of how busy you are," I answer smoothly. "You don't have to explain it to me. Rylan's probably in his office. Knock yourself out."

"Eric," He implores, reaching out to grab my arm. His touch feels strange, unfamiliar. I stare at him darkly before jerking away from him.

"I'm not sure what you expect me to tell you. Everly is fine. I'm fine. Busy. Nothing new has happened since we last spoke."

I regret saying her name again. I'd slipped up by saying it to him the first time, and I'd been slipping up by calling her Everly left and right. It seems like I now thought of her as Everly, the unconscious decision an embarrassing one.

"You know, I just…I heard you and she were close. I assumed maybe…" Daniel stops and looks at the wall. For once, he's fumbling with his words. His normal eloquence is gone, lost as he grasps at straws. "You know how rumors can be. Your Aunt seems a little too concerned with what you're doing. She's not thrilled with how busy you are with this girl. Blythe was…in the middle of it. I thought maybe I should check on things before they got out of hand."

I stare at him, wondering how on Earth he can be so stupid.

I certainly don't need him or his help.

"Go back to Blythe. Tell her to mind her own business. If she thinks she's going to send you down here to check up on some rumors, she can think again."

"Eric," Daniel steps directly in front of me, preventing me from leaving. "Look, I apologize for not coming by when I said I would. You have every right to be mad on behalf of your friend.

"You don't have to apologize to me. I don't give a shit what you do." I shrug, and he shakes his head in obvious disappointment.

"You were fine on the phone. I'm not sure what's happened since then, but I have responsibilities. Just like you do."

I stare at him, hating the mere sight of him and the suggestion I'd appreciate his comparison. Flaking on me was one thing but flaking on someone he'd made a promise to was another.

Wanting to meet Everly, waltzing in here like he was father of the fucking year, concerned over a girl he'd never met, was something else entirely.

"Enjoy your visit." I tell him, and I stalk off.

He doesn't say anything else or try to come after me, but that's fine with me.

 

 

I make it halfway down the hallway before I run into Arlene. She eyes me intently, then grabs my arm to stop me. I knock her hands free, whirling around to look at her.

"You fucking liar." I bark. "You said he was thinking of coming by not he'd be here the next fucking day."

"Calm down, Coulter." Arlene glares at me, slapping my hands away from her. "You're acting like a child. He just wanted to say hello."

"My ass! He wanted information for Blythe and you know it."

She raises an eyebrow at me, and I have the urge to stab her.

"I'm far from stupid. I know why he's here. She sent him because she doesn't have the balls to come down here herself."

"Would you have seen her if she was here?" Arlene looks at me like I've lost my mind. "You'd have spoken to her but not your father?"

"NO!" I roar at her, and she holds both of her hands up. "Neither of them deserve two seconds of my time. I have things to do that don't involve either of them." I hiss, and I look to the side of her, realizing I'm a second too late. Daniel has followed me out of my office, and once he realizes I'm still here, he heads toward Arlene and me with a stupidly determined look on his face. "I have nothing more to say."

Arlene steps close to me, elbowing my side, hard.

"Give him one minute of your time and I won't tell him you're engaged."

My stare flies to her, daggers right at her stupid face, but she smiles brightly, greeting Daniel.

"Sir, lovely to see you. Welcome back. Everyone in the infirmary is excited you're here."

"Great, I look forward to seeing what you've accomplished." Daniel answers tightly, and he swings his stare at me. "Eric, I'm sorry. You're right. But I didn't come down here because Blythe asked me too. Maybe we can—"

"No. I'm late. I'll see you around."

I shove past Arlene, throwing a mock salute at him, and I'm gone. Down the hallway, past Rylan's open office door, past the break room. I take the stairs two at a time, until I'm at one of the lower levels. I storm past the few members down here, not greeting anyone, and ignoring the nosy looks as I walk by.

I keep going. When I find the door I want, I throw it open without knocking, stomping through angrily.

"Well, well, well! To what do I owe this surprise?"

I'm greeted with utter delight, and a large, blinding grin.

I return the greeting without much enthusiasm, shrugging off my jacket and handing it over to Christian.

"This way." He gestures, and I head into the abyss of fabric, all shades of black, maroons and reds, and I ignore the fact that every so often, there's a scrap of a lighter one peeking out from the racks. The further back we go, the more of it there is, until I swear, there's nothing but pink fabric strewn around his workroom.

 

 

"Did Everly like the jacket? Did it fit? It looked good, didn't it?"

Christian stares at me from behind glasses that are too large for him. He's slender, his own outfit tailored to fit his skinny frame, something trendy and oddly fancy. His pants are so skinny they might as well be glued to him, and they end above his ankles. His boots are far from the combat boots everyone else wears; his are shiny and impractical, a large polished buckle over the zipper on the side and I fucking swear they sparkle. His shirt is fitted, and the sleeves are rolled up, stuck with a bunch of needles as though he'd been sewing the moment I walked in. His hair is artfully arranged, spiked up and flat ironed into perfection, and he flips it out of his eyes every so often.

He takes my measurements quickly.

He smirks and smiles the entire time, pulling on the sleeves of my shirt and making a dissatisfied sound at the sight of my old uniform.

Despite the fact he'd designed it.

He is the head designer in Dauntless, a position he'd taken immediately upon passing his initiation. His being here was a bit confusing, because one quick glance at him and you couldn't help but wonder how. Everly was skinny and little, and Christian wasn't much bigger than her. I'd learned he'd fled from Candor in some strange panic, making the dramatic decision to transfer to Dauntless. Once he arrived, he never gave up. He fought for a spot here, and somehow finagled his way through initiation with minor injury. He'd ranked well enough to pass, his scrappy fighting pushing him on, and his fear landscape scores enough to secure his life here.

He'd then melodramatically and gracefully bounced off to begin his new life, smiling widely at those he'd beat out when they sulked down to have a uniform fitted for them. He'd never worked a patrol route, never even been in the control room, and there was a rumor he had a very fabulous loft all to himself, decorated in a sophisticated manner. He was funny, lightning fast at whatever he did, a bit eccentric, and blunt.

Very blunt.

The first time I'd met him I scoffed, but a day later, he'd handed me a jacket and uniform pants that would have made Daniel's suit look like shit.

I'd never known we needed a designer, let alone a head designer. Maybe he'd given himself the name, but it suited him. He took the job seriously, outfitting everyone around him, and making sure our uniforms were top notch. He oversaw a very small staff who worked to produce the garments and was granted a rather large space to house his projects.

His clothes were appropriate to the Dauntless faction, but flashy enough they stood out from the other factions.

Everly had worn none of them.

Carol had neatly folded her laundry, separating it from my clothes. The fabrics were flimsy and light, as were all her clothes. She'd bought only things that would slide down when she wore them; dresses that would show how small she was, and tank tops that revealed more than just her shoulders. I'd left the pile on her dresser, wondering where on Earth she thought she was wearing them. No one really gave a shit what anyone one wore here, but still, they weren't Dauntless in any way.

They were innocent looking. Sort of. Not really.

Soft.

Delicate.

Revealing.

Her leaders' jacket was the first thing she'd worn that was heavy. Stiff, like armor. Black. It fit her, giving the impression she was an important member of Dauntless. The first official of many uniforms she'd receive, especially now.

"It looked good. How'd you know her measurements?" I cross my arms while he skips over to type away at the laptop on his workspace. His desk is littered with measuring tape and buttons, needles jabbed into all sorts of things, and a dozen half made items.

"I eyeballed them, Eric." He answers quickly, typing at a frightening speed. "I've seen her walking around. I was behind her the other day and I just sort of followed her until I had a good idea. It wasn't hard to figure out what size she'd need. I will need her measurements in the future, but for now, I can go off my estimate. She's a little smaller than I prefer. I had to adjust every aspect of the jacket, but it turned out better than expected."

He looks up at me, and grins. Brightly.

"She's very pretty for someone from Amity. I sometimes think they look…so…plain. Like someone left them in the sun for a few years. You know, I offered my services once. Prairie skirts are so out of style and I had this great idea to give them a new look. But Johanna said no, they were good. They preferred to make their own clothes and kicked me out of her office. Why, I'll never know."

He shakes his head, insulted as ever.

"Thank God, Everly doesn't like those skirts, though. I saw her when she got here. I saw what she bought, too. She doesn't have a great idea of how she should be dressing, but she will."

I look over at him curiously, and he prints out a paper for me. It has a bunch of measurements on it, a balance of exactly zero points, and his name in a flashy logo.

"Here. Have her come back in a few weeks."

"Why?" I ask, grabbing my jacket and shrugging it on. Even I could admit the compound felt cold now. The first storm would hit soon, and with our conservation mode, the heating systems were barely turned on.

Everly must be freezing.

"You have a dinner coming up." Christian announces, slowly, like I'm mocking him. "Every year you go. She'll need something to wear. She bought a dress but it's nowhere near formal enough for what she'll need. Send her to me. I'll make her something."

I stare at him, buttoning up the last button on my jacket, and the hilarious realization that he assumes I'm bringing her to the Leadership Dinner with me smacks me in the face.

"You think I'm bringing Everly?" I say the words with a bark of laughter, the idea of dragging her to this event laughable. "Why would I bring her to that? It's for the Leaders of the factions. I'm not bringing anyone. Let alone her."

Christian walks over to me and smiles in an odd manner. Like he knows something I don't.

"Eric." He reaches up, patting down the collar of my jacket, cocking his head to the side to examine it intently. "God, why did I pick this fabric? It's hideous."

"Don't ask me." I snap while he rolls his eyes.

"It was rhetorical. Anyway, just send her my way when she's ready. I already have some ideas. Either way, I'll send your new jacket when it's done. It'll only take a day or so."

He steps away from me, lost in his daydreams of dressing Everly in something for a dinner she isn't attending, and he barely notices when I leave. His words bother me on a whole other level, not just that he wants to dress her, but that Christian would think I wanted to bring Everly to such an event.

I don't.

I don't need her looking out of place, surrounded by the heads of the factions, wondering why on Earth I'd brought my initiate along.

By the time I return to my office, it's quiet. Daniel is gone, and I sink into my desk chair, grateful for the silence.

 

 

She comes up to me in the kitchen.

I'm standing there, staring at the same cabinet she'd smacked her head on, when she walks right up to me, right up to me and smiles.

Sweetly.

"Hi Eric." She says my name slowly, and I stop doing nothing to look down at her. "I just wanted to tell you, before you start cooking something…I'mgoingtoeatwithChristinatonight."

She says the last part in a rush of adorable confidence, only faltering when she moves her hair out of her eyes and continues, nervous I might tell her no.

"She asked me earlier and I thought it would be fun. I think…we're eating in the mess hall."

I narrow my eyes at her.

I don't care if she goes down there to eat. Really, I don't. She's technically free to come and go as she pleases, but she's never asked. She's been fine with just me, and it's easier this way.

But she's looking up at me curiously, and I shrug. While the food down there is garbage, eating it for dinner won't kill her. Not to mention the fact she's already been officially accepted into The Leadership Program, so I have no worries that someone will try to recruit her for some dumb position or fill her head with some bullshit that working alongside Christina would be a blast.

Christina's company is also garbage but making a big deal out of it will only reveal to Christina there is something going on. My hesitation will give her the allusion she has the upper hand. I flash back to the image of myself, standing between Everly's legs, my hands gripping her hair tightly as I gave into the urge to rip her clothes off. When I blink, she's still looking at me, waiting for my answer.

I smile, tightly, and wave her away.

"Go."

Her expression changes to a scowl.

"Am I not allowed to go?"

"Oh no, you're allowed to go. Have fun. Tell Christina I said hello." I announce, internally cringing at the petty tone in my voice. I'd meant to sound indifferent, but it had come off far more petulant than planned.

"You'll be okay? By yourself? Maybe your friends could come over again?" She helpfully suggests, looking very concerned at leaving me by myself.

How ironic.

I glare at her.

"I'm fine." I snap, insulted she'd think I can't eat alone. I don't enjoy her company that much, anyway. "I don't need anyone to come over. Besides, I have plans. I was going to tell you you'd have to make yourself dinner tonight."

"Oh." She answers, surprised, but she bounces back and smiles again. "That works out then. Okay, well I'll be back soon."

She turns around, thrilled I was just fine without her, and I catch her arm.

"Wait." I bark, realizing if I leave as well, she'll have no way of getting back in. "Hold on."

I let her go, storming past her and into the bedroom. I throw my dresser drawer open, rifling through a few things before I find what I'm looking for. When I return, she's waiting by the same counter I sat her upon, and I notice she's dressed like it's summer.

Bare shoulders.

Leggings.

Nothing at all to keep her warm.

She's about to get an unpleasant surprise when she finds out Quinten doesn't get heating as a part of his budget.

"Here." I press the keycard into her palm, and she looks up at me.

"Is this your key?" She asks, and I shake my head no. Like I'd hand over the only key to my apartment so she can go traipse around with Christina.

"It's an extra one. You'll need it to unlock the door if I'm not back. Unless, Max's key has started working." I dryly answer her, and her expression changes.

To this sweetly, grossly, knowing smile. I feel ill at it, especially when she doesn't look away for a beat.

"Thank you." She happily takes it from me, her fingers touching mine.

The two of us stand there, her skin cold, until I'm the one to break way.

I watch her leave, resentfully, before heading into my room to grab my jacket.

 

 

"I heard you opened up the program again."

Peter is glued to my side, winding through the swarm of members with ease. He follows me to a table, his beady eyes frantically searching to make sure he can sit there, refusing to give up this precious opportunity. It had been a long time since I'd seen him, but not long enough. He'd been persistent in attempting to join the Leadership Program since he'd first heard about it. He fancied himself superior to those around him, and he felt his talents were best served by joining the highest rank possible.

I thought otherwise.

I'd only come down here because he'd asked to meet, claiming he needed to talk about one of his patrol squads. He'd somehow slithered his way to a management position there, and we both knew his route was fine. Boring. Routine. It was an easy position and an easy section. But I'd grudgingly agreed, because I wanted to see what Everly was doing.

It took a lot in me to admit that. I felt nauseous, thinking I was going to check up on her, but really, it was Peter's idea to meet here.

I regretted it immediately.

I had found him tolerable during his initiation. He was sneaky and sly, a total asshole as he tried his best to secure a high rank, and very eager to get on my good side. I'd indulged him a bit, using him where I could, but once his initiation was done, I never bothered to check where he ended up.

Now, he's thrilled I'm next to him, trying to get my attention as he pleads his case.

I don't pay any attention to him.

My sights are focused on Everly, sitting a dozen tables away from me. Of course, it only takes a moment before she notices me sitting there, her eyes finding mine, and she throws me a fairly amused look.

"Eric." He says my name loudly, and I turn to give him a dark look. "Did you hear me?

"No." I bark, tapping my fingers to distract myself. She's turned to face Christina, the two of them talking about something, and she looks like she's having fun. Every so often, Christina looks at me, disapproval all over her face and she doesn't bother hiding it. I can tell she thinks I'm spying on them, unwilling to let Everly out of my sight.

Which is far from the truth.

"The program isn't reopening. I'm taking on a select few. It's not open to the general faction."

"Seriously, dude. You're joking, right?" Peter asks around a mouthful of his hamburger, and I stare at him in disgust. "You aren't letting people sign up? Come on."

"No." I answer dully, and I find Everly in the crowd again. She looks different than when she's in my apartment. Her food is as untouched as ever, but she's laughing at something Christina said, and she looks happy. My chest tightens at the sight, the unfamiliar uneasiness clawing its way up every time she grins.

Christina leans in, whispering something to her, and Everly's eyes widen. I can only imagine the information Christina has just divulged, and there's little doubt its relating to me.

I take it as my clue to leave.

I stand up abruptly, ignoring the yap of Peter and his protest of 'won't I please just consider him after all he's done?'. I leave with my shoulders thrown back, my stare straight ahead, and a look of sheer boredom on my face.

The sight of Everly, her face lit up as she giggled alongside Christina, stays in my mind until I reach my apartment.

 

 

 

I go to bed alone.

I violently brush my teeth, staring in the mirror, mentally berating myself for wondering when she'd come home. I didn't care; she could stay out all night if she pleased, and her ass would be on the line for it. I didn't care if she was tired, and I certainly didn't care what she was doing. I slam my toothbrush in the cup and rinse my mouth.

This also wasn't really her home, though it sort of was, especially since I'd declined an apartment being assigned to her.

I fall into bed, screw my eyes shut, and do my best to doze off.

I wake up when she climbs into bed.

It's late; far later than Amity should have been out, and I know she'll be exhausted in the morning. But it's not my job to point that out to her. She'll know it the minute she has to get up in the morning. So, I go back to sleep, letting myself drift back off, until she presses herself against me, wearing next to nothing.

I blink at her.

I'm half asleep, but I can see she's facing me, her hair falling everywhere around her.

"I didn't mean to wake you up."

She says the words softly, but comfortably. Inviting her to sleep in my bed was a strange prize, but I can't say I dislike it. I'm too tired to answer her, so I shut my eyes and reach for her.

If she's going to climb into my bed like it's her rightful place, then she'll sleep how I want her to. I grab her hips, the bare skin tempting beneath my fingers, and I yank her forward. Once she's close to me, the fabric of her tank top against my chest and her naked legs resting against my own, I reach for her arm. I pull it over me, and her fingers find my hair immediately.

I should feel embarrassed that I want her like this. I've never wanted Ashley to sleep anywhere near me, never even entertained the thought. But I make sure Everly is as close as possible, pleased when she touches my hair. I sigh when they curl in, thinking of her with Christina. Smiling. Laughing. Probably confirming I had, in fact, kissed her. My head falls forward, heavy with sleep, and I keep my eyes shut.

I hear her mumble my name, but I fall asleep with her against me, giving in to the dark fact that I like her like this.

I decide, my mind slowed down, that she'll sleep here during her Leadership Training as well.

 

 

Her toothbrush sits on my bathroom counter.

I squint at it while I brush my teeth, thinking of her in here last night.

I rinse my mouth out and stick the toothbrush next to mine without a second thought.

 

 

"Higher."

I instruct, narrowing my eyes as Everly pauses halfway up the train tracks.

Her survival training was new, something we'd implemented when we realized they'd head out with minimal skills under their belts other than fighting and shooting. So, with Harrison's help, we'd come up with a few obstacles they might encounter. Scenarios that could occur, that would require physical strength and quick thinking. Four hadn't loved the idea, no clue why, but he'd been outnumbered, and they were inserted near the end of the initiation.

I'd walked Everly out of the compound for our run. I could tell she was tired, because she was silent, rubbing her eyes throughout most of it. She'd looked tired all day, until we arrived at what was once a functioning set of train tracks. Now they were dilapidated; they hadn't been used in ages, but the support beams were still standing. Crackled and shifted, they gave way to several sections that caved in, revealing exposed iron beams and cavernous holes.

I'd told her to climb to the top.

She'd looked at me slowly, waiting for me to tell her I was kidding, but I wasn't.

I'd done it myself multiple times.

It wasn't hard. It did require some upper body strength and coordination, and there was always the risk Everly might slip or panic. But she'd have to climb it, and quickly.

If she were being attacked, no one was going to tell her to take her sweet time while she tried to scale the thing.

I caught the look she'd thrown at me, one of surprise and uncertainty, but on my nod, she immediately went for it. She ignored the snow flakes, weak little things floating down from the sky, melting instantly in her hair. They weren't sticking just yet, but they would soon.

I lean against the structure opposite hers, crossing my arms over my chest and observing her for the sheer purpose of scoring. She pauses right at the midway point, her foot resting on a section of concrete sticking out, reaching up for anything she could pull herself up to. I wait for her to continue, her form flush with the concrete, and she looks down at me.

"Higher, Amity. I didn't say stop." I call out to her, and she shakes her head.

"You're going to be really bored after I fall to my death," She calls back down to me, stretching again, her fingers nearing the hole she's looking for.

"Surely," I respond, not at all impressed with her attempt to get me to call her back down. I stroll over toward the pillar she's currently on, and I reach up, testing where I can reach.

Then I pull myself up.

Effortlessly.

Upper body strength isn't anything I'm lacking, so it only takes me a minute of climbing before I'm close to her. I watch her scramble, a smirk crossing my face and she works hard to stay ahead of me, pulling herself up quickly.

After a silent minute, her boots just above my gaze, I reach over.

"You'd better hope I don't make it up there before you," I call out as a warning, even though she's doing fine.

Four's class wasn't even out here.

They were indoors, scaling a mock wall, with a mat beneath them. I suppose he found the risk of them falling, and predictably dying when they hit the pavement below, too dangerous.

He should live a little.

I reach over and grab Everly's ankle, pretending I'm about to use her as leverage.

"Eric!" She yelps my name, clinging on for dear life.

I roll my eyes, pulling myself up beside her. I sneer at the panicked expression on her face, before continuing on. She wasn't afraid of heights as far as I knew, and she'd shown no signs of being scared so far.

She grits her teeth. I can see her trying not to wince, as she does her best to keep up with me. I reach for the next crevice I can find, and it's only a second before I pass her completely. I continue ahead, nearing the top much faster than she could ever dream of, and I triumphantly reach the top. I pull myself up and over, wiping my hands off and waiting for her.

"Come on, Amity. You'll have to climb faster than that if you want to pass." I call out, but I don't think she can hear me. The wind has picked up, and the snow is now falling quickly. The ground is growing damp, and she'll need to work faster if she plans on getting up here before a storm hits.

I see her hand reach the top of the cement, fumbling to grasp onto something, and I immediately notice she has no real traction. I lunge forward without thinking, grabbing her wrist with one hand, and I can feel the moment she loses her grip. She's seconds away from slipping. I quickly reach my other hand down to grasp her arm and I yank her upward. Despite being over the edge, it's not hard to pull her up. I stumble when her boots catch the edge of the cement, and she lands against my chest. I'm knocked backward, falling onto the ground with her in my arms.

She lays there, her skin cold, mumbling an apology and trying to catch her breath. I can feel her heart racing, the panic subsiding slowly as she realizes I've got her.

I wouldn't have let her fall.

I keep her against my chest, the cold air whipping around us, until she's calmed down.

"Sorry," she gasps, having absolutely nothing to apologize for.

I shrug, holding onto her tighter, and she stays perfectly still, leaning back into me.

"Just try not to die during our next exercise."

 

 

We walk back to the compound together.

I could have made her scale the thing again or moved on to some of the crumbling buildings to the side of us, but I decided it was time to walk home. The snow was beginning to stick, and the clouds were looming overhead, gathering to darken the sky. I grant her a reprieve, watching her shiver beside me, as we walk through the gates.

Winter had always been my favorite season.

I'd always liked the cold air, the brisk feeling it brought, and the sharpness of it. I liked the chaos of the winter storms, the way they wreaked havoc on everything they touched, and the power they held. They frequently shut down the factions with their actions, and they had the ultimate authority over everyone. I disliked being hot, never had the urge to lie in the sun for hours and found the summers unpleasant.

There was no uncertainty Everly hated the winter. She hugged her arms around herself while we walked back, her work out clothes and jacket doing little to protect her from the chill. Her gaze flicks to the sky, to the darkening storm clouds, and she sticks close to me. The guards wave us through when we approach the first security clearance. We head through the large doors, and I lead her through the dark hallways.

She stops in the training room.

It's oddly noisy. Four's class is busy scaling the mock wall that was set up earlier this morning. They are all terrible at it, despite their upper body strength giving them an advantage over Everly. She and I watch as two of them near the top, then falter when they repel back down. One panics, the height throwing him off, and his partner yells at him as they slowly make their way down.

Her eyes widen at the sight before her, and her head whips around to me.

"So, if they fall, they get the luxury of falling onto a mat?" She raises her eyebrow at me, and stares at me in a daringly accusatory manner. "You made me scale the side of the train tracks!"

I try hard not to smile. I'd taken her outside to give her a dose of the real world. Climbing a fake wall wasn't anything close to what she'd done, and there was nothing wrong with a healthy dose of fear. She was never in any real danger, and her life flashing before her eyes would only further her appreciation of my methods.

"If you are out there under some sort of attack, there will be no mats if you happen to fall," I answer flippantly. I watch as Four commands the next set of initiates to go, and I shake my head when they take off. "I wasn't worried you would fall."

"Well, I'm glad you were so sure about that," she mumbles.

I feel surprisingly slighted by her words. I wouldn't have let her fall. Not only would I have had to fail her for not completing her session, I really didn't want to watch her crash into the ground from two stories up. I step closer to her, until I'm next to her, my side against hers. I bend down, hissing at her while Four yells at someone to look where they're reaching.

"Did you really think I would let you fall to your death?"

"Well, no." She looks up at me, taking in my expression, and she looks back at Four's class. "Do you think I can climb that wall faster than Four's class?"

I take it as an apology.

I gleefully shove her forward, her dark hair bouncing behind her.

"Let's find out."

 

 

She beats his initiates easily.

I stand next to Four, arms crossed over my chest, and a smirk on my face as she climbs past them with a grin on her face. She reaches the top first. Once she reaches it, she looks down, her gaze searching for me, and I nod in approval. I cock my eyebrow at her- silently pointing out how stupid the fake wall is, and she smiles in response.

I'm not at all surprised she'd surpassed the others. The train tracks had been a challenge, and her arms had to be burning, but she went for it, just like everything. I squint at her tiny form as she hangs on, waiting for the guy next to her to reach the top, and Four clears his throat.

"You made her do it outside? Really?"

He looks at me like I'm insane, and I shrug.

"She did great. No issues at all." I pause, waiting until he looks at me. "Your class looks like they're having fun. Did you borrow these mats from the day care center?"

He throws me the darkest look he can, like a child who just got told they can't have dessert, before he stalks off to stand closer to the wall. His initiates are all watching intently, annoyed looks on their faces, until it happens.

The boy beside her loses his footing.

He flails about wildly once his balance is gone. He tries to grab onto something, anything, but the closest thing next to him is Everly. My eyes widen in disbelief as he grabs onto her and takes her down with him. It looks like she falls forever, but it's only seconds before she slams into the mat below, landing on top of him.

I take off instantly.

I swear at Four loudly, catching the look of disbelief on his face.

"You're dead." I hiss at him, my boots sinking into the mat as I near Everly. She groans, starting to slowly push herself up, and I reach for her. I grab her beneath her arms, kicking Four's initiate in the leg as I pull her up. Once she's untangled from him, I help her to stand.

She's fine.

I can tell there's nothing terribly wrong. She can stand up, her neck hasn't been snapped, and her eyes are clear. But she puts both of her hands on her side and winces, and I'll bet she landed on the edge of his boot.

"Kevin! I said pay attention to where you place your foot!" Four yells, his arms crossed in front of his chest. He swears loudly, his gaze focused on Everly and me. "Is she alright?"

I ignore him. I let go of Everly's waist, sliding my hands beneath her shirt until I find her ribs. She cringes immediately, her skin raw where I touch it, and she bows into my chest while trying to push my hands away.

"That hurts, Eric!" She gasps, and I glare at Four over her head. This is solely his fault. Had he taught his class what he was supposed to, she wouldn't have gotten injured.

"Why is your class always a complete disaster?" I snap. He looks down at Everly, still against my chest, and his expression is apologetic. Sort of dismayed, but mostly apologetic. Until he looks at me.

"They aren't," he retorts, his eyes flashing angrily. "There's no way you can possibly think that happened on purpose."

My fingers tighten. They dig into Everly's skin, and she groans.

Not out of delight, either.

"Eric." She wiggles a bit, trying to dislodge my fingers, and I only hold onto her tighter.

"Your class should be able to properly scale the wall by now." I inform him, and she elbows me in the stomach. I chalk it up to her being traumatized by Four's class trying to sabotage her, and I let it slide.

"It's their first attempt," Four defends himself. He moves to take a step toward us, but he's momentarily blocked when Karl wanders over, a curious grin on his face.

"Everly! Dang, you are fast! Did you guys practice before us? You didn't look down once." Karl cheerfully congratulates her with a big smile on his face. He seems taller than the last time I saw him, much stronger now, and I narrow my eyes at him.

His stare is glued to her, his blue eyes never leaving her face.

My grip intensifies.

"Eric, I can't breathe," she gasps, and I loosen my grip the tiniest bit. I don't know what I'm really expecting to happen if I let go completely. That she'll limp away? Sprint off somewhere? Either way, I keep my hands on her, especially when she answers him.

"No, I had lots of practice when I scaled the train tracks."

Karl throws a nasty look at the fake wall behind him, and his trainer. "Seriously. How cool. We've uh, been here all morning."

Four looks pained at his words. He bites down on his cheek and looks away.

"Yes. It was great. But I think it's time for me to go sit down now." Everly answers, and she shakes her head. "Eric, seriously, let go."

I don't let go.

"I can walk her to the nurse," Karl offers up. He looks at me like I should find him helpful, and I refrain from rolling my eyes. Strangely, Everly is on the same page as I am. She shakes her head no, and she works to undo my hands from her.

"I'm good," Everly answers, and she leans back into me. "Eric, let's just go."

I suddenly wonder if maybe she is hurt. Maybe he cracked her rib. There could be internal damage, and wouldn't that just be great?

"Maybe you should see the nurse." I think out loud, wondering if Arlene is there. She could always see her immediately, and we wouldn't have to wait long. I could demand we be seen right then and there, and she'd listen. I'd make her.

"Don't make me go to the infirmary. Please, can we just go? I just need some ice or something," Everly asks in a pleading tone, she swallows. "Eric, not there. I don't need to go to the infirmary."

Karl looks confused at her reluctance, but he must not have met Arlene yet. Four sighs, realizing his only solution is to give up on life, so he walks away to his class. His shoulders are slumped, and he slowly instructs a few boys that they're up next.

"Please," Everly asks softly. I'm still holding onto her, and I watch as Four's class lines up, not thrilled at being asked to finish their session. Four finally walks over to the kid who fell, halfheartedly pulling him up and making sure he's alive. Everly turns slightly and puts her hands on my jacket. She pulls me close to her and looks directly at me. "Please. I'll let you look at it upstairs."

She stares up at me, green eyes on mine, and something passes between us.

I give in.

"Fine." I snap. "But if anything is broken, I'm taking you to the nurse."

She nods.

"I'll see you around." Karl announces, realizing he's not walking away with her any time soon. He returns to his class, and only then do I finally let go of Everly.

Fifteen long minutes later, we're standing in my kitchen, her tank top shoved up high enough to expose her ribs, while I look over her side. Sure enough, she'd landed on the edge of his boot, leaving her ribs scratched up and bloodied. It's nothing life threatening; she'll have a bruise for sure, but she'll be fine. Uncomfortable, but fine.

"Hold still."

Everly bites her lip as I press the bag of ice against her ribs, and she does her best not to move. My thumb grazes her side, the action unconscious.

"It'll be sore for a few days. But nothing's broken," I tell her, and she wiggles away from the cold. "Everly, I said hold still."

I frown at her, and she frowns back at me. Both of my hands are on her; one on her side, holding the ice in place, and the other on her hip, trying to keep her still. She looks pained, and I feel a speck of sympathy for her. Had Four had some control over his class, this wouldn't have happened.

"Keep this on for a few minutes, then go take a shower. I'll start dinner." I announce, standing up.

"Did they fix mine yet?" She looks up at me curiously, and I smirk at her before I walk away.

It'll be turned back on.

Eventually.

 

 

She lies with her back against my chest.

She'd climbed into bed with me, her side still sore and her hair still damp from her shower. It hadn't taken long for her to inch her way close to me, until she was right in front of me. Once there, she sighed, and leaned back, as though she'd sought me out for comfort.

I let her.

I use her position to my advantage, touching her side lazily. I let my fingers slide over each of her ribs, slowly, avoiding the darkening bruise. My action is purposeful; I like touching her and judging by the way she pushes into my touch, so does she.

"Does Max care that you filled out my papers for me?" She breaks the silence with her question, and it's hard for me not to laugh.

My fingers still, smirking at the idea of Max telling her she'd been accepted. He'd told me, of course. I'm sure he thought he'd caught her off guard, but she'd played it off well.

"No."

She stretches, pushing herself into my hand. "He doesn't care that we haven't even finished the training yet? That I could wind up not passing?"

I stiffen at her words, hating that the thought is still in her mind. I assumed I'd drilled it into her that she'd pass, no matter what. I wouldn't let her be factionless. Ever. But there it was again, this fear popping up every now and then.

Ruining this.

"Failure is not an option, Everly," I hiss. "And no, he doesn't care. It's my class, and I'll pick whoever I deem fit for it." I resume my exploration, only this time, I trace up higher, writing an invisible claim all over her skin.

"And you picked me? Just me?" She scoots back further, until her shoulders bump into my chest. "Is there anyone else in the class?"

Her question catches me off guard. I'm too distracted by the feeling of her bare skin to think straight.

"No. From what I've seen, there isn't anyone else good enough." I pause when she goes silent.

"You know I don't want them to fail, right?" I dig my fingers into her skin, curling them in. She's far thinner than when she arrived here, far thinner than Ashley, but she's healthy looking now. She looks strong, and I think of her in my program, of her with me. She's earned it and no one else here has.

"We want the best here. We need them to come out of this training ready to fight. Four is too gentle with them."

I slide my fingers back down her side, venturing further than before. She has a pair of pajama shorts on, if you could call them that. They are short and flimsy, folded down and shoved out of the way. I like how it looks, the hint of her underwear peeking above the waistband, so I trace her hipbone, letting my fingers curl around it. I hold onto her, awaiting her response. When I get none, I squeeze lightly.

"Oh." She blurts out the word, and it only spurs me on.

"I'm not good with being gentle." I inform her, beginning the slow, drawn out preparation for what will happen when I do sleep with her. Because it's going to happen. She can't possibly think she's going to keep winding up in my bed, just so she can sleep at night. Not after the kitchen. Not after kissing her. Not after lying here, with me, like this is where she belongs.

"I suppose I could try." My grip tightens on her.

"Eric!" She says my name lightly, halfway giggling and gasping. I like how it sounds, but I let go of her, returning to the dark bruise. I skim over, my fingers barely touching it, and she sighs.

"Should I have another option? In case I'm not cut out for leadership?" She asks quietly, and it becomes clear to me, she's got a lot running through her mind. "Maybe, like, I don't know…" She trails off, sounding slightly defeated now. "I don't know what else I'd pick, actually."

"Like patrolling the fences? Working in the control room? You'd be bored out of your skull." I try to picture her out there, walking back and forth for hours, eventually returning to the compound to crash for the night. The picture is unappealing, even more so than her sitting beside Four and staring blankly at computer screens.

I hate the idea. The more I think of it, the more I despise it. She sighs, and I slide one of my legs between hers, moving until she's completely against me, covered by me. "You'll be better off doing the leadership program."

She seems to perk up. Maybe it's the close contact or maybe it's the reassurance. Either way, she tilts her head back, getting comfortable.

"I see you also put down that I don't need to be assigned an apartment." She sounds much happier as she brings up that little point, one I'd taken great joy in selecting. She probably didn't see it that way, but I was being practical.

"You don't. I'm not helping you move all your shit just so you can still come sleep here," I roll my eyes even though she can't see me. "Leadership training is a little more intense than initiation. It'll be easier if we can work on it without me having to hunt you down. You can just stay here with…" I stop myself from saying me, the admission choking in my throat.

I'd already come to the humiliating conclusion that I liked her here, but it was more than that.

I liked her.

Really liked her.

It went beyond wanting to prove I was a better trainer than Four. It went beyond wanting to sleep with her. It was something else I didn't understand at all.

"Good, because I don't want to have to walk all the way back here just to eat dinner with you every night." She answers flippantly, as though she's got me all figured out.

I snort.

She's hilarious if she thinks I need her to come back and eat dinner with me.

I remove my hand from her side and fling my arm over her. I shift on my side, until she's trapped against me. "Go to sleep, Amity. We can sleep in tomorrow."

She listens. She closes her eyes, and her breathing slows down immediately.

It doesn't take her long to drift off.

It doesn't take me long either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm backkkk! Thank you SO MUCH for you patience during my vacation :) A week with no wifi and barely any cell phone reception was interesting, but it was worth it. AS always, thank you for following along and reviewing!
> 
> Major Major Major THANKS To Bamberlee for editing this chapter :)


	11. Braver and Braver

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Almost Friday!
> 
> I hope everyone had an amazing week or at the very least made it through unscathed. May this chapter be the perfect way to kick off your weekend. 
> 
> Thanks so much to Bamberlee for editing this! 
> 
> & as always, thank you all for reading along and reviewing!!

I wake up to her touching me.

Not just trailing her fingers over my skin, slowly trying to figure out if the piercings hurt. Not just touching my temples or lips, and certainly not lulling me to sleep with the soothing feeling of her hands in my hair.

I wake up to her hands down my boxers, her fingers wrapping around my erection.

The sensation is almost painful.

Her hand feels good, far too good to simply be touching my skin, so good it almost hurts. I want to grasp her hand and close mine around it, moving it up and down to ease the throbbing ache that had been there since she'd started sleeping beside me. I wanted her to keep going, to help the want subside just a bit, especially since she's so brave.

Her jerking me off wouldn't have been my highest choice, but if she was offering, I wouldn't turn her down.

I open my eyes halfway to the sight of her, propped up on her elbows, as her fingers slowly, agonizingly, touch me.

Fuck.

Her dark hair falls down, touching my side and she shifts closer, oblivious to the fact that I've woken up. It's no shock she's finally woken before me, discovering why I'm always out of bed before her. Her fingers slip lower, the pressure nowhere even remotely close to what I want, and I swallow heavily as it becomes too much.

"I hope you aren't starting something you can't finish, Amity."

She looks up and over at me, pure horror across her face, and she hops off the bed like I've burned her. She's gone, a flash of dark hair and pale skin, vanishing into my bathroom in an attempt to save herself. I hear the water start in the shower, and she hops right in, leaving me to wallow in my own misery.

I mentally berate myself for saying anything. Had I not, she might have carried on, and I wouldn't be lying here in this horrifically frustrated state, debating between finishing what she started or just walking right in on the cold shower she's taking.

I lie there in total agony, deciding it wouldn't be worth it to take care of this now, because I have every intention of her fixing this little situation. If I had any doubt that Amity wanted to stay in my bed, or might have been in over her head, it was now gone.

She turns the shower off and I hear her step out and shut the door behind her.

I sit up.

I throw the covers off me and slowly walk toward the bathroom, giving her a few moments longer to get herself together. There's no way she could possibly think I'm letting this go. It was one thing to smile sweetly and kiss me in my kitchen then curl up next to me, but waking up to her hands all over my hardened dick wasn't something I was going to pretend didn't happen.

I fling the bathroom door open, and there she is, standing in nothing but her shirt and underwear. It's clear she's scrambling to get dressed, even now. Her hair is soaking wet, her shirt is wet, and she looks like she's struggling to remember she needs to breathe air to function.

I saunter in and stop right behind her.

She's facing the mirror, and I can see it all over her face- trying to decide if she should bolt or stay. She doesn't really have a choice, especially when I step closer, so my chest touches her back. The air is thick and humid, making the room seem even smaller. I take a second to admire our reflections, then I lean forward. I place one hand on either side of her, grasping the sink. I instantly realize this would be a great spot to continue; I could watch her expression in the mirror while I thrust into her from behind, and I could hold onto her, one hand pressing her back into me.

Judging by the look on her face, she knows what I'm thinking.

"You seem awfully stuck in this bathroom, Everly." I let my lips graze her ear, and little Amity squirms. She finds my eyes in the mirror, hers big and wide, and I smirk at her.

"I…I'm getting dressed." She answers, her stare unwavering. She looks delightful like this. Her neck is exposed, the pink marks still there, and her hair is pushed to the side. She would look incredibly flushed if I went through with my thoughts, and there's little doubt I would add a few more marks to her neck.

"I should get dressed, Eric." She tells me, her bravery coming in waves, and she doesn't look like she's really in any hurry. I let go of the sink slowly, and my hands find her, gripping onto her hips until I touch the fabric covering them. Her underwear is soft, sort of flimsy, and it would be easy to tear.

"You gonna tell me what exactly you were doing back there?" I ask, sliding them a fraction of an inch lower. "Did you find what you were looking for?"

She doesn't move.

She holds my stare, her green eyes glued to mine.

"We could just finish this right now. Right here." I squeeze her tighter, pulling her back against me. She comes willingly, and I shamelessly press my hips into her. The ache is still there and so is the erection I've had since waking up. I bend down so I can find the juncture of her neck, and she shivers.

"You're awfully quiet, Amity," I point out, and a feeling of utter need washes over me. The urge to drag her out of here, throw her on my bed, and climb on top of her. To feel her hands in my hair again. Clawing at me, scratching at my skin. I can see it so clearly, so sharply, and now I can make it happen. She wants this, I realize. Her little event wasn't just because she was brave or bored or thought she'd be funny. She wants this. Me, her, together in my bed.

The thought makes me jerk back, staring at her like I've never seen her before. I was no stranger to people wanting to sleep with me. It might have been arrogant on my part, but I knew I was attractive. I knew women would do what I asked, just to see what it was like, even just one time.

But Everly isn't one of them.

She's been different from the start.

Fucking her in the bathroom doesn't seem fitting.

"I think I'd rather you continue your exploration in bed. Not here. Not right now." I let go of her immediately, stepping back and ignoring the look she throws me. I step into the shower and strip out of my boxers, throwing them over the door and turning the water on.

It takes her a minute to leave.

I hear her gather her clothes and her towel, and she shuts the door quietly.

I wash my hair for a long time, a very long time, until the only thing hard is the decision of when to sleep with her.

 

 

I generously give her the day off.

She's been working hard, and she's scored well enough on her survival training that I don't need her to repeat it, and I didn't particularly want to head back outside for more. So, after taking an agonizing shower, and pretending I hadn't been seconds away from her giving me a hand job, I take her with me to get a haircut.

I had given her the option of staying behind.

She was already dressed; her hair was mostly dry now, and she still looked sort of pink. I'm sure she thought I was about to ask her something else, because she looked surprised at my question of whether or not she wanted to run an errand with me. It should be surprising. I hadn't exactly given her a tour of Dauntless beyond what Four had shown them, and I hadn't really explained she could go wherever she wanted. Even if I had, she was too busy sleeping to be out exploring.

But she agreed to go along with me, not really answering if she needed a haircut or not, and we'd left after staring at each other a moment too long.

My actions this morning felt foreign and strange. At the start of her training, I would never have asked if she wanted to go anywhere; I would have simply dragged her along and had her sit in the lobby and be quiet. Maybe have made her bring a book to read, or something to work on so she wouldn't be distracting. Maybe sent her to run laps until my hair was back to normal. But things were just a bit different now, and I had decided to ask her.

Right away, it was clear that bringing her along was quite the event.

I'd forgotten that the mere sight of her triggered some rabid curiosity in everyone in the faction. She and I walked into the mostly empty salon, the only place in Dauntless to get a haircut unless you were doing it yourself, and every single head snapped in our direction.

Everly noticed.

She smiled, but stayed right next to me, taking in the dark floors, the mostly metal décor that gave the place an industrial feel, and the stylists with exaggerated edgy hairstyles. I paused at the desk, not giving a single fuck who cut my hair, and I glanced back at her. Everly was still looking around, so I decided to write her name down, too. I had no clue if she wanted me to, but it wasn't a big deal either way.

I stared at the sign in sheet for a moment.

They wouldn't know who Amity was, so I wrote Everly, then realized she was officially listed as Everly Coulter, so I added Coulter, just in case they were totally stupid. I squinted at the name, deciding it looked just fine, and set the pen down. Before I could tell Everly we could take a seat and wait, the girl at the desk told me to follow her.

Everly followed along without my telling her.

She took the seat beside me, curling her feet up beneath her and watching the process intently. I figured she'd never seen someone get a proper haircut in Amity, so this must be fascinating to see. It would have been better if the stylist who came didn't look like she might throw up. But she gets started quickly, and Everly leans in, watching as the girl shaves the sides of my hair back down to nothing. It doesn't take her long, and she moves on quickly, spraying the top and combing up a section.

"Is this okay?" The stylist stares at me, having dampened my hair and pulled it up so I can see. I agree, only caring that it's long enough to part, and she continues without asking me anything else. She's smart. She works silently; she's fast and precise, and her nerves seem to vanish after a bit.

I grow bored after a few minutes.

Every so often, Everly and I make eye contact in the mirror. She still looks curious, a little entertained when my hair isn't as straight as it once was. In fact, it looks similar to hers, though mine is far neater.

After cutting the top halfway, the stylist notices Everly watching, and she doesn't look pleased. She looks at her like she doesn't like her sitting in the chair next to us, and she stares at her out of the corner of her eye at every turn. I watch her squint again, her lips pursing together, when Everly pushes her hair out of her eyes.

"Aren't you getting your hair cut as well?" She pauses, looking at Everly with a strange hint of disdain.

Everly barely notices.

"I think so," She answers, and I stare at her through the mirror. "I hadn't really decided."

I wait.

A weird feeling washes over me, and I would bet this will be the moment where she goes nuts, chopping off her hair and dying it some wretched neon color. It bugs me that I even thought about it. I had no issue with anyone wearing their hair how they liked it. Shave the whole thing and color it blue if you pleased. Even Rylan and Jason had occasionally shown up with bright colors or designs etched into the sides of theirs. It made no difference to me.

But Everly's hair is far different than anyone else's here.

It's soft and pretty, and I swallow down the idea that someone was about to destroy it. But if that's what she wants, because that moment usually occurs at some point during initiation, it isn't my business.

"Okay." My hairstylist nods at Everly, looking relieved that she'll be leaving. She looks at the girl walking past us, one clearly trying to hurry by, and stops her.

"Can you take her?"

The girl nods hesitantly, realizing she's been selected to cut Amity's head full of hair, but she motions for Everly to follow her. What seems like an eternity later, they return. I swear they'd lead her off to a whole other floor just to wash her already washed hair. But she comes back with it combed out, even longer looking than before, and she takes the seat next to me once again. The stylists already looks tired; she looks at me, then Everly, then back at me, before she asks Everly what she wants to do with it.

I wait again.

Everly is looking at the woman's hair, her own eyes narrowed the slightest. The stylist's hair is pink, a shockingly vibrant color that I'm sure appeals to Everly, and her gaze is stuck on it. The girl's hair is also cut sharply, far above her shoulders, far shorter than Everly's is, and stick straight.

"Would you mind looking down so I can clean up the back?" My stylists asks politely. I look down at my boots, and she works quickly, lining up my neckline in a second. When I look back up, Everly is smiling.

"Can you just trim the ends? I have to put it up a lot during the day," She answers, and everyone around her looks relieved.

"Does that look okay?"

I glance up, taking in the sight of myself in the mirror. I look exactly the same, my hair short and clean looking, and I nod disinterestedly. She takes the cape off, and I stand up, smirking as the woman parts Everly's hair into multiple sections. She looks ridiculously adorable, her hair combed and sectioned in every direction, and the stylist looks concerned at how to proceed.

I get the feeling it's going to take a minute.

"I'll wait for you up front." I tell her, deciding not to wait around.

I head up front to pay, giving her one final look. I don't think she can see me, but it doesn't matter. I stop at the desk, and the receptionist -someone with blue and green hair- nervously asks if I'd like to pay for both services. I look at her darkly, wondering how she's really that dense.

"Obviously." I snap.

"Okay, well it's just they're both under Coulter and I wasn't sure…. if she was… really….with you…." She trails off, and I stare her down, not at all in the mood for this.

"Use the account number I have on file." I glance back into the salon, noticing two girls standing by Everly, one poised to cut her hair. "Email me the receipt."

"Sure." The girl answers, slowly typing away on the computer in front of her. "Thanks for coming in."

"How long do you think that'll take?" I ask bluntly, and she swings her head back to Everly. When she looks back at me, she looks strangely focused.

"Give us like, a half hour?"

I nod at her, and head out through the doors. I head toward the Pit, not having a ton of time, but enough to grab coffee. I make it halfway down there before I run into Jason, his hands full of books topped with a few bowls. He greets me cheerfully, and I realize he has a slew of cookbooks in his hands. Old ones, balanced dangerously high.

"What are you doing?" I ask, staring at the first one. "You suddenly into baking?"

"Uh, yeah." He answers as though I am beyond stupid. "You aren't?"

"No." I answer, and he shakes his head.

"You should try it some time. It's relaxing. I was dropping off a few requests from Max, and Quinten said I could take these. He said he doesn't need them anymore and I can use the practice."

"How kind of him."

Jason notices my disinterest, and he shrugs. "Where's Everly? You leave her with Four?"

"God, no." I find myself biting back a laugh. His class was still on their survival training, and there was no doubt it was still going terribly. "She's getting a haircut."

Jason's eyes light up and he grins. "Ah, yes. The moment in every young initiate's life when they decide the coolest and most edgy thing they can do is pick out a terrible hairstyle. What's she getting? A mullet? A flat top? A mullet and a flat top? Hey, where are you going? Want me to walk with you? I have a few minutes."

"A trim. And sure. I'm getting coffee." I point toward the least shitty place to get coffee other than my own kitchen, and Jason follows me, cookbooks in hand.

"Remember the first haircut Four got when he got here?" Jason snickers as we walk in, and I find myself laughing, thinking back to just one more of Four's terrible life choices.

 

 

I'm almost back from the fastest coffee run ever, when my phone rings shrilly. I answer it, greeting Max as I round the corner.

"You have a second?" He asks, and I nod, even though he can't see me. "I wanted to remind you about next Friday. I'm sending back a head count but I need verbal confirmation from each person. You're the only one I haven't heard from."

"I've been busy. And I already told Jeanine I'd be there." I answer, eyeing the salon carefully.

"Excellent. I'll put down you and…" He says something, but the connection cuts out as I walk further down the hallway, giving way to an earful of static. "Just make sure…knows what's expected….an honor to be….attendance."

He goes on and on, enjoying hearing himself talk even though I can't hear shit. The connection continues to be spotty, until I finally tell him 'sure' just to get him off the phone.

"Ask nicely, Eric."

His words come in loud and clear, his tone very commanding. It's rare he speaks to me like that, so I should pay attention to what he's saying. Or understand what he's talking about.

But I don't.

I have no clue who I'm supposed to be nice to or why he'd even think I'd purposely be nice. I shove the phone in my pocket, not bothering to try and figure it out, right as Everly wanders out looking slightly traumatized.

She heads toward me, her hair dark and shiny and still long. I squint critically as she walks closer, and I notice every few steps she pushes her bangs out of her eyes.

It appears the most drastic thing Amity was capable of was cutting a few inches off what was already always in her face. Before I can say anything, she meets my stare with an oddly irritated look.

"Yes. She cut them off by accident. She asked if my ticket had your last name on it, and I answered 'obviously', and she closed her scissors." Everly scowls, looking hilariously mad. Her hair looks the same; slightly straighter and less messy, but the bangs don't stay where she wants them. Every few seconds they fall right smack in the middle of her vision, and she tries to shove them aside.

At least it isn't anything awful.

"Could be worse," I tell her cheerfully, thinking the girl could have accidentally chopped the whole thing off.

"Sure." Everly answers, and then she looks at me, right at me.

"Can you start writing my real name?" She huffs as she pushes her hair out of her eyes again, and the action is amusing. I can tell they're going to drive her nuts until they grow out, but they aren't unflattering. They're intentional looking, and she looks slightly more mature than when she arrived. "Eric?"

"I wrote Everly," I answer in mock defense, but she's not amused.

She accidentally on purpose elbows me as she stomps past me.

 

 

 

She doesn't stay mad for long.

Or at all.

I tell her we're joining Jason and Rylan for lunch, and her face brightens considerably. My friends are of interest to her, especially after she announced she didn't think I had any. Unfortunately for me, she is also of interest to them, and it made for one annoyingly unamusing scenario.

When she sits down beside me, neatly placing her tray right next to mine, they stare at her as though they've been waiting for this moment all day.

I don't have to be psychic to know what they're thinking.

Jason eyes her up and down, and I can see him trying to calculate how tall she is. He goes as far as pretending to measure her with his fingers, counting quietly, and stopping when he gets to forty-eight. He then looks at her hair for a long time, trying to figure out what's different. When he comes up with nothing, he finally nods at me, giving his silent approval.

Rylan is no better.

He stares at her as she eats, then types something on his phone, then stares back at her. A second later his phone dings, and he stares again, then types on his phone. I could stab him with my fork, and I feel my eye twitch when I realize he's probably relaying this lunch to Christina- minute by minute.

They stare at me as well, waiting for me to do something to confirm whatever theory they've come up with.

It's not hard for them to read into every minute action. We're already in closer proximity than trainer and initiate should sit. But for good reason. We've been joined by an oddly ballsy Karl and one of his friends, and the seating arrangement pushes me even closer to Everly. Jason and Rylan watch obsessively, waiting to slap importance on the most trivial action.

Which occurs the minute I accidentally elbow her.

Jason and Rylan exchange a weighty glance, then look at me smugly.

"HOT." Jason mouths, and I glare at him, hoping he knows how little patience I have right now. Normally, I'd find his juvenile behavior tolerable. But I don't exactly need Karl and his moronic friend to notice anything, and Jason isn't helping at all. It doesn't make it any better when there's a lull in the conversation, and everyone looks around, waiting for someone to say something.

"So, are you guys... uh... doing anything today?" Jason asks, clearly trying to make small talk. It would be better if he didn't wink at me, then jerk his head at Everly.

Smooth.

"Training," Karl answers, sounding as though he's bored by the very idea. "I think we only have a few sessions left before they announce the final rankings. I think the real training will start once we're actual members."

I glare at his deep thoughts.

Karl doesn't notice. He smiles at Everly, who smiles back politely, taking a very slow bite of her lunch. I watch her intently, noticing she's oblivious to his adoration of her. His friend, whose name I don't bother to ask, nods in my direction.

"Yeah, Four's cool and all, but…" He trails off, shrugging around his sandwich. "But we're ready to be done."

"Great." I answer flatly, not at all impressed, though I could understand. Somewhat. I also can admit these two won't be completely useless. They're the best in Four's class. I'd watched them fight, I'd seen their scores, and I know they know they're close to Everly in the rankings. I'm sure it gives them some strange imaginary tie to her, one that doesn't exist except for in their minds.

Luckily for me, and unluckily for them, Four appears out of nowhere, looking at his watch as though he's the only person in the faction able to tell time.

"Guys, we've got five minutes until the next session." His gaze lands on me, unhappy to see where his initiates have chosen to sit. "I'd think about heading back now."

He finishes up his speech with a very pointed look, then waits while they finish, determined to keep his class on track these last few days. Both Karl and whoever reluctantly stand up, not at all enthused to follow after Four.

"Guess we'll see you around, Everly." Karl all too loudly announces.

I stare him down, hoping he realizes how much I dislike him. High ranking or not. Jason and Rylan watch, and Jason is polite enough to pretend to wave goodbye.

"Bye, Karl. Bye, CJ," Everly is also polite, but I notice she looks a bit dismayed at their departure. Strange, considering she's rarely been around them.

"Well, aren't they lovely," Jason declares, grinning at Everly and winking at me. "They seem to really like you, Everly."

Her expression darkens, and she shakes her head. "I barely know them."

She looks at me with a funny look on her face before glancing down at her plate, and I can feel the shift in her attitude. I decide it's time to leave. I can tell this lunch is about to take a different direction, one of terrible, and not at all subtle interrogation that will only further bother her. So, I purposely knock my knee into hers, and she looks back at me.

"You almost done? We have a lot to do this afternoon."

My plan doesn't go over so well. She looks even further dismayed at my words. I have the same sinking feeling as the night she walked past me without eating her dinner, but I ignore it. I know she doesn't want to sit here much longer, but I have no clue why her shoulders slump and she frowns.

"I'm done." She answers, standing up slowly and reaching for her plate. "It was nice to eat with you guys."

She lies through her teeth, her own sharp stare telling them she doesn't think they're all that clever, and she throws me one final, weary glance.

Rylan elbows me once she leaves the table, his eyes on her.

"More training?"

He and Jason wait for me to answer, and I shake my head.

"Not today."

I'd told her she had a day off, and I have every intention of sticking to my word.

"You uh, just hanging out?" Rylan presses, and I stand abruptly.

"Are you inviting us over?" Jason asks, clearly not noticing the fact that I'm already leaving the table. I stride toward Everly, and I catch her elbow just as she sets her plate down. She smiles tightly, and I realize she's expecting me to drag her away, down to the training room. I can feel the relief when I pull her the opposite direction, past my moronic friends, and past the shit show that is Four's class.

They all stare intently, and I regret keeping my hand on her elbow.

 

 

I decide to take the day off as well.

Strangely, my work is suddenly unappealing, and answering a million emails seems tedious. But there are a few things I need to get done, so I have no choice but to sit down and log onto the system, and at least do the bare minimum. I answer a few questions from Erudite about security clearances, I remind Johanna her factional usage reports are due, and I deny a request for more shift rotations in a section that doesn't need any. I respond to a group message, confirming that I am, in fact, heading out with the patrol squads tonight and I make a note of the time. We have a routine rotation, and my name only comes up every so often. The factionless could be handled by any of the lower ranking officers, but as Leader, I was required to go and check up on things.

I note with great disdain that accompanying my particular group is Four.

Fantastic.

It doesn't get any better when I read Jeanine's message.

It's mostly business, but there are a few lines that hint she's aware that I'm aware the Divergent issue has not been tackled, and my list is still sitting untouched. I don't really have any plans of pursuing anyone on it until I have time but telling her that is like attaching a target to my own back. Normally, I'd be all over it. There was nothing I enjoyed more than dragging someone out of hiding, but my interest had been dampened by Everly's training.

So, I bullshit her, knowing exactly how to push this off.

Halfway through my reply- a smart diversion where I ask her about a serum I know she's been working on, Everly appears. She's dressed casually, and she wanders over to the couch with a book in her hand. Without any hesitation, she sits close to me, really close if she were paying any attention, and makes herself comfortable. I watch her kick off her shoes and pull the grey blanket over her, and I realize this will be an all too pleasant way to spend the afternoon.

Until I catch a glimpse of what she's reading.

The very book I'd meant to throw away.

I'd had every intention of returning it to Daniel, except I'd forgotten once I'd seen him. I really should have thrown it at his head. I didn't want it, and I had no personal attachment to it. It was fictional garbage; a tale of a boy wizard that was completely stupid and unrealistic, and it had zero value to it. But Everly must have found the book, and even worse, she's completely lost in it.

I turn slightly, sending my email without really finishing it so I can look at her. She's in a whole other world, sighing as she turns the page, her eyes glued to the paper. She reads quickly, completely immersed, until she realizes I'm looking at her.

"Where did you get that?" I ask tightly, and I stare at the cover. I can't remember bringing it home, but I can remember the exact day Daniel gave it to me, cheerfully suggesting I might like it. I had sneered at it, insulted by the boy on the cover and the childish prose.

"I found it. On one of the shelves. I didn't think you would mind. It doesn't seem like anything you would read," Everly answers, and she shifts closer to me. "Do you want me to put it back?"

She's polite and also way too close. I could reach over and yank her and her stupid book on my lap without any trouble. I don't let her know that. I stare darkly at the book, wishing she'd picked something else.

"No. But reading about wizards isn't going to help you pass your training."

She looks at me knowingly, the barest hint of a glare behind her bangs. "You said we had a day off." She protests, setting the book on her lap.

"I did."

"So, I'm using my day off to read something not related to the training." She answers me, determined to get back to Harvey and his magical tale. I stare at her, cataloguing every inch of her face, and smirking at how mad she looks.

"Fine."

"You said it was a day off!" She protests again, and I ignore her.

If she wants to spend her time reading about his stupid magical adventures, then so be it. I shrug at her, turning back to the tablet in front of me, and I log out of my email. The security feed is still active, and I click on that, buying myself a few minutes of entertainment.

"Are you working?" Everly asks out of nowhere, her voice full of curiosity.

"No."

Next to me she sighs, sounding a bit put out. I decide to indulge her, glancing over at her out of the corner of my eye.

"Look at this."

I slide my arm around her, and she reacts instinctively. She settles against my side, what's clearly her preferred place to be, before she looks down at the tablet in front of her. She's rewarded with the majestic sight of Four's class scrambling as they try to scale the fake wall again.

She watches with an amused look on her face, her head cocked to the side. I take in the sight of her- bright eyes, a small smile when one of them doesn't do so well, and flushed cheeks from moments ago. I lean in and notice she smells exceptionally good, like something rich and expensive and off limits.

"Your little friend isn't half-bad," I murmur at her, my tone completely mocking Karl's appearance. Together, we watch him take his turn scaling the wall, and it's far easier for him than anyone else. I give him a fleeting speck of credit as he pauses at the very top, then repels himself down without looking. His friend congratulates him as they both reach the bottom, and I realize my fingers have found their way into Everly's hair by the time they high five each other.

"He's alright." She shrugs, and she leans into my touch. She's highly receptive, and I smugly think back to her this morning. I work slowly, touching her as gently as I please, while she stays still. I graze her neck, her skim warm beneath her hair, and then I tighten my fingers, digging in slightly.

She looks up at me, her big eyes searching mine curiously.

"He can't be in my class. So, don't even ask," I inform her, and she laughs.

The sound is pleasant. Cheerful.

To be fair, she's laughing at me, because I sound put out, like she might have suggested I accept him. Karl is ranking in second place, and were I to truly open up the program, he'd meet all expectations from everyone.

Except me.

"I wasn't going to. He didn't even climb a real wall, anyway." Everly cheekily answers, and I bend down toward her. The action is innate, the result of a strange pull between us that won't go away. I keep waiting to grow bored of her; I keep thinking the more I'm around her, the less thrill I'll get from this. The less desire I'll have to really carry her to bed, without the intention of her sleeping all night.

She smiles slightly, her lips temptingly close to mine. I can feel her pulse quicken as my nose touches hers, and I debate whether or not to give in to what I want. I think of this morning, of her hands on me, and her eyes wide and pleased while she thought I was sleeping during her exploration. I think of how easy it would be for me to fuck her on my couch.

I think of how badly I want her in my bed, and I decide now isn't the time.

"Finish your book, Amity."

It feels physically heavy when I pull away from her. I turn back to the image before me, a boy from Four's class gracelessly falling to the ground as Four watches with a depressed look on his face. His friends rushing to make sure he's fine. Karl snickering from the side. Someone shrieking in horror.

It feels appropriate.

I weave my fingers back into her hair, tugging on the soft strands and twisting them around my fingers. I hum in content as I go back to my emails and she returns to her book. The afternoon slips away just like I like it; quietly, with Everly against my chest.

 

 

Max calls again, right after I send Everly out to find dessert.

She'd asked if we had any cake, and when she discovered I didn't keep any on hand, I told her to go find Quinten and he'd be happy to help her. She looked at me like it was a trick, until I waved the knife at her and told her good luck finding the kitchens without me.

She left smirking, her hair bouncing after her as she walked out.

I answer the phone quickly, dicing up the green beans and tossing them into a pan. I had to make something easy, since I'd be leaving not too long after dinner. I halfway listen as Max yammers on about Johanna's report, ranting about what utter shit it was, and I placate him until I've heard enough.

"Anything else?"

I adjust the temperature of the burner. I'm close to hanging up when I hear him say it again, and I stop in my tracks.

"I said, ask her nicely. You need to ask her if she'd like to go to the dinner and not just order her to go."

"Who?" I repeat, my blood turning to ice. "Ask who nicely?"

"Everly." Max says slowly, and the stove blurs before me.

"Why on Earth would I bring Everly with me?" I snap. "I'm not bringing anyone."

I hadn't forgotten about the dinner, I just hadn't been thinking about it. I didn't love attending the Leadership Dinners and I found they occurred far too frequently. They were formal and stuffy, always full of Leaders pretending they got along when they didn't. It was supposed to be a night to set aside our differences, supposedly strengthening the relationships between the factions. But it always ran far longer than it was scheduled, and someone always gave a pointless speech. Jeanine would be there, analyzing every single person in attendance, and Ashley would be there as well.

I have no clue why I'd bring Everly to that.

"She has your last name. When I entered you in the system, it automatically includes a spouse. It searches by last name. Since she has yours, well, it included her."

"Well _un_ include her." I bark. "I'm not showing up with my trainee."

"Too late. I can't change it. So, like I said, ask her nicely and she'll be fine. Make sure she knows what to wear and tell her to be quiet during it. It'll be good for her…training as a Leader."

I stare at the phone in my hand in disbelief, and I swear the man snickers, then coughs to cover it up.

"I'll meet with you tomorrow, Eric. Good luck tonight. Hopefully, all sections are quiet."

He hangs up before me, leaving me standing there, realizing I have no way out of this. I could refuse to go, but he'd probably come down here and find me and not leave until I went with him. I could not tell Everly, but he'd also find her and then I'd have to explain why she wasn't at all prepared.

I shut my eyes tightly, groaning at the thought of sending her down to Christian to have something fitted for the dinner. He'd cater to whatever she wanted, and I could see it now.

I was about to be attending the dinner with my initiate, and she'd be dressed in the fanciest sundress in all the factions.


	12. Be my date, Everly Coulter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so let me just say that, technically, it's still Friday in Arizona! 
> 
> Thanks for all your amazing patience, your seriously well thought out reviews, and for enjoying Eric's version just as much as I am. 
> 
> Thank you SO SO SO much to Bamberlee for editing this long ass chapter ;)
> 
> I hope everyone has a lovely weekend!

She stares at me expectantly while we eat.

Everly had returned with her cupcakes not long ago, then set up camp next to me, watching me cook dinner. I'd expected her to leave, retreating into her room while I finished, or maybe losing herself in her stupid book again. To my surprise she lingered, setting the cupcakes on the counter and staying put.

Her presence wasn't unpleasant; in fact, it felt downright normal, as though this was where she belonged. I took it as a sign I was spending too much time with her. She was right next to me, her eyes watching while I diced up tomatoes, as though this was routine. Our routine. She casually leaned against the counter, her green eyes on my hands, patiently waiting until I handed her a plate and instructed her to head to the couch. I followed after her, my eyes on the back of her head, and I tried to pretend this was fine.

I felt off.

I felt unbalanced, my focus torn between watching her- suddenly appealing and ethereal as she sat there to eat dinner and thinking about the night ahead of me. This wasn't the first time I'd be leaving her behind, and I silently mulled over alerting Rylan or Jason to keep an eye out for her. Maybe to stop by, a few times. It wasn't that I was nervous or unwilling to leave her. It just felt strange, a sensation churning in my stomach that felt an awful lot like worry, and I didn't appreciate the feeling at all.

On top of that, I was leaving with Four, and he was my last choice for someone to be accompanying me this evening. Either Jason or Rylan could have taken his place, but neither of them had volunteered. They had good reason. They would be up soon enough as it was.

I angrily swallow down the salad I'd made, and I think of Four, and wonder who I'd pissed off enough that they'd dare partner me up with him. According to Max, the schedules were random, printed out and approved by him alone, and I suppose I could direct my anger at him. I debate this, chewing violently, and when I look up from my plate, I see Everly's stare on me.

It's unwavering, even when I stare back.

"Do you want to ask me something, Amity?" I skip calling her Everly, the urge to put some space between us appearing out of nowhere. Truthfully, I wanted nothing of the sort. I liked her here, I liked her with me, but the urge to shove her away still rose up, still very present.

My attitude doesn't bother her. She smiles at me, shaking her head and continuing to eat her dinner. I notice she's almost done, and she eventually sets her fork onto her plate. There's a funny expression on her face, one of curiosity and patience, and I realize she wants something. For one sweet moment, I wonder if she's planning on making up for this morning, but that thought only darkens my mood even further.

Because I won't be here.

When I look over at her again, she's lost in her thoughts. I wait patiently for her answer, and when I don't get it, I clear my throat.

She smiles innocently.

"No, I'm good," She pushes her hair out of her eyes, and I notice she's pretty even during the mundane act of eating. "I was just thinking…"

She pauses and her eyes meet mine. Neither of us move. Every word out of her mouth now sounds like there's something behind it, a hidden meaning I'd like. It's not quite full on seduction, but almost- like she's testing the waters.

"And exactly what were you thinking about so intently?"

"That it's time for dessert." She answers smugly.

She looks pleased I didn't figure that out, so I roll my eyes. I wave her away, not at all about to get up and fetch her the cupcakes she'd brought back. She skips off to the kitchen, this time taking my plate from me, and I recline back on the couch. I still have the idea to tell her to go right to bed, the urge to make sure she stayed put all night, but I ignore it.

It's worth it.

She pauses to hand me a plate with a single cupcake on it. She has her own, and she sits down, eyeing me over her treat. I have to admit, this is by far the most pleasing sight I've seen in a long time. I watch her eat it carefully, the only person in Dauntless to slow down and actually enjoy the dessert, as she watches me back. While eating. It feels like a trick, a hotly purposeful show for me, especially as she takes the last bite. Her eyes close in delight at the sugary extravagance, and I'm rewarded with the sight of her sugar induced high.

I swallow down a single bite of the cupcake she'd brought me, knowing it won't be much longer before I give in to her.

 

 

I get dressed without much enthusiasm.

I had a few routines I liked and working my assigned patrol was usually one of them. I enjoyed the dark, cold air. I liked the thrill of the night, the sharp winds creaking around the tall, rundown buildings, and the danger that seemed to spill from each shadow. I liked the heaviness of the uniforms and the sound of the squads patrolling over the land. With a gun in my hand and several rounds of ammunition, it all felt powerful, like this was what it was all about. This was what I was meant for.

Which made it confusing, as I adjust the collar of my jacket, that I have the urge to call off.

I could.

I could always have Jason or Rylan go in my place. They'd be pissed, but they'd eventually get over it. Or they wouldn't, and I'd hear about it for a week. I could always call in the newest trainee, knowing he'd gleefully come scampering along the minute I asked. He would be honored to go in my place, but that left Four in charge, and his rank wasn't high enough to lead both teams. He was only coming along because he worked in the control room, and he monitored the exact route we were assigned.

But it wasn't even him. As much as I didn't like Four, he wasn't the reason I wanted to stay home.

It was all because of her: the dark allure of Everly, watching me get dressed, perched upon my bed with a put-out expression on her face.

She was nothing cold or sharp. She might be cold, for she was wearing nothing but my shirt, gleefully plucked from my dresser. I'd watched her walk out of my bathroom in it, a smile on her face when she saw me look at it. It was a lovely sight, but more than that, it was a clear sign she knew full well there was little left of the line between us.

"Does everyone go on these patrols?"

She'd asked me while she climbed onto my bed, her stare on my jacket.

"Yes. All Leaders, anyone with a corresponding rank, and most patrol officers are required to go. It's mandatory." I answer her easily, while I watch her out of the corner of my eye. Her dark hair is no longer pulled up but falling down her side. My shirt has slid down to reveal her shoulder and her bare legs are curled beneath her. I know she has nothing else on, and that I'll be leaving her like this. Alone. In my bed.

For hours.

After the cupcakes, I'd told her I had to work a patrol tonight. I'd explained it quickly, not knowing why I felt obligated to tell her. But I did. I made a point to remind her I'd be back in a few hours, and there was little chance tonight would be anything out of the ordinary. There had been reports of increased activity in a few spots, something they were calling a riot. But really, it was no more than a weak protest by weak people.

A protest that would stop as soon as we made our appearance.

"Do you think you'll find anything?" She asks, her lips pursing together. "Or anyone?"

"No. It's routine," I answer, zipping up my jacket and reaching for the gun on my dresser. I turn to look at her, illuminated by the dim light behind her, perched on my side of the bed. "I'll be back before you wake up."

She doesn't move. She eyes my outfit, the full Dauntless uniform a few steps up from what the peons wore, and I fight back the urge to tell her to come with me. She could. She could throw on pants and a jacket and I could issue her a gun to bring along, but I don't really want to. While it could be valuable experience for her, a slow night patrolling, seeing just exactly what she'd signed up for, it also felt like too much too soon.

I fidget while I mentally wrestle over the idea, then I step closer to where she's sitting.

"Everly," I say her name, and she looks up at me.

"I could go with you. You know I can shoot a gun."

The offer, when spoken from her own lips, sounds downright ill advised. I stare at her darkly, wondering exactly when I became such a little bitch over a simple decision. The reality of it was, she wasn't a full-fledged member, and issuing her a weapon came with paperwork I didn't need to deal with. And a slew of questions I didn't want to answer.

And I'm sure, a lecture from Four.

"You'll stay here."

She sighs dramatically, like she fully thought I'd agree to her suggestion. "Fine."

"I'll be back in a few hours. Go to sleep, and I'll see you in the morning." I make the declaration loudly, even though if I knew her, and I felt like I now did, she'd probably be asleep before my front door shut.

"Okay." She agrees, sliding off my bed, and her gaze flicks past me. I realize she's about to head to the guest room to sleep, and I find the action insulting. I'd gone to sleep beside her for far too many nights now, that coming home to an empty bed isn't at all on my agenda.

I reach for her, stopping her so she's right in front of my chest and she stills instantly.

"You'll sleep in here. I'll be back soon."

I sound annoyed and I am. I have little desire to leave, and little desire to watch her slink out of my room. In turn, my body reacts like I'm possessed. I reach for her face, finding her jawbone and tilting her head up toward mine. Her eyes find mine, not at all surprised, even when I lean into her. A moment of something passes between us, live and electric, and I lean in further- until my lips touch hers.

I kiss her without any reason other than I want to. There's something in me that spurs the action, continuously pushing her and I together, until I pull away. I write it off as lust, a feeling that'll be gone the minute I sleep with her. I don't know what it'll be replaced with, perhaps more lust, but it doesn't matter now.

I smirk at Everly, her skin pink from this quick kiss, her eyes wide and large, and I step away from her.

My actions are once again juvenile, but it felt necessary, to claim what's mine as I depart even for just a few hours.

 

 

The sky is black.

We exit the trucks silently, weapons drawn and primed to go. We'd left on time, Four and I both arriving with an unhappy grimace, and both immediately agreeing to split up. He didn't want to be around me any more than I wanted to be around him. So, he drove the other truck, and the men split up evenly between us. I'd warned mine to be ready, not at all in the mood for anything to go wrong, and they'd listened. Now, they follow me silently as Four approaches, gesturing toward an abandoned building that's been decaying further and further over the years.

"This is where the last sighting was. We believe they're gathering in increasing numbers, preparing for something. An attack. Maybe some sort of ambush." He addresses the men and me, his eyes surveying the area carefully. He doesn't sound nervous, but rather sure of himself. "We've run a few scans of the area. Be on the lookout for any activity, no matter how minor."

"I suggest we split up. Each group take the opposite side. Refrain from going inside unless you see or hear anything, and as always- send an alert out first. They shouldn't be expecting us, but at the same time, act like they are. They know we're watching them." I command them harshly, growing antsy standing here. Even though the night is dark, we're lit up by sporadic, dim lighting meant to make the streets drivable. Despite being the ones sent to investigate, we're sitting ducks out here, and it would be easy to open fire on us.

I have the sneaking suspicion the factionless are up to something bigger.

Four had agreed about this in private, but his hesitation on the subject was suspicious. He'd looked away when we'd discussed how they could be armed, and he'd gone silent when asked if he'd seen them with any sort of weapons on the security feed. He'd shaken his head no, and I made a mental note to check the tapes myself. He had all sorts of things he liked to keep to himself, his controlling nature oozing through anytime we asked for something from his area of work, and I had the nagging feeling I'd find what I was looking for when I watched it myself.

"Alright. Head out."

My group takes off in the opposite direction of Four's. I lag behind so I can observe him carefully, making sure he goes where he says he is, until I see his tiny little head disappearing into the group. He waves his team around the side of the building, and once I'm satisfied they've all gone, I follow after mine.

The next few hours are boring.

We walk everywhere there's been activity, check the parameters sent in by Kacie, and double check the last sightings. We find nothing. Rubble. Broken doors. Shadows that could be something but never are. I find myself paying less attention to what's going on, idly observing as a few of the members take the lead and allow myself to wonder if Everly is asleep. I think about going home to her, about how she's probably sleeping, my shirt having bunched up and slid down at the same time, how her skin will be warm when I climb back into bed, how her hair will smell good and how I'll both press myself into her and pull her into me.

I think about all that, right as the bullet hits my leg.

"FUCK!"

I yell loudly, completely caught off guard.

I whirl around, both livid at myself for not paying attention and furious at the bullet that's pierced my skin. The sensation is unpleasant: hot and burning, and fiercely itchy, and there is a burst of heat with every step. I double back, aiming my gun wildly, and firing at the first man I see.

"They're armed!"

Four comes out of nowhere, his expression tense and his weapon drawn. He guns down the men running at us – a strangely, endless stream of men and women prepared to fight and our team rallies immediately. Fortunately, our men are well prepared. The next few minutes are a flurry of bullets firing and men shouting. Four and I easily take down most of them, while the team around us guns down the ones on the outskirts; these men and women aren't great at shooting, but it's obvious they've had some training. They hold the guns correctly, despite none of them looking as if they'd know how, and they are aggressive. Angry. They attack with force, desperate to kill us all.

"Four, get back!" I snarl at him, noticing him step forward toward a man whose stare is glued to him. My benevolent actions are rewarded with a burst of pain, and I double over as my hand flies to my chest.

"Motherfucker!" I swear loudly, and the world lights up neon red. I force myself upright, ignoring the sear of blinding pain, and I spot my stupidly brave victim. He's no one. He may have been someone at a sometime. Someone's brother, someone's husband. Someone who chose a faction that didn't suit him. Now he is a disgrace, and when he realizes I've set my sights on him, he panics. He backpedals, tripping over broken rubble, and I spare him no mercy. I aim the gun directly at him, shooting him repeatedly, not satisfied until he's no longer moving.

Mere seconds later, someone lands on my back, their weight knocking me forward, their hands grasping at my neck in an attempt to choke me. I duck down, knocking the woman away, but not before something sharp and hot stabs at my skull. The act hurts, their attempt rough and graceless. I hiss, knocking her off me, and firing a single bullet through her temple, only to look up and find myself facing three more.

"You're dead." One hisses, her clothes dark and dirty. She looks violent and feral, her eyes crazed with the desire for blood. She lunges at me, thinking she's got the upper hand but I meet her halfway.

"Not tonight." My punch lands to the side of her face, and I can hear the crack when it connects with her jaw. The next punch hits her stomach, and when she stumbles, I knock her down and watch as her head smashes into the pavement.

"Look out!"

Near me, someone is yelling, and the world blurs as men rush at me. Despite the large numbers, they're no match for myself or the patrol squad they've neglected. They're gunned down one by one, and I shove the last one off me, my breath coming in sharp pants.

"Eric, I think we got them all."

Someone touches my arm cautiously, and I realize Kevin has been shot as well. "Fuck dude, they all had guns! All of them! You okay?"

Kevin asks, his voice high, while yanking me back a step. I nod tightly. I'm fine; injured, but fine. He motions to his side, prying open his jacket to reveal bloodied skin and I force myself to breath slowly. I'd forgotten my leg hurt, I'd forgotten my chest hurt, and all because of the adrenaline. But now that I've stopped, the pain hits at once, and I grit my teeth together.

This attack feels wrong.

Strange.

Disastrous.

Planned.

Like someone led us into a trap.

"Anyone else get shot?"

I call out to the group, realizing the area has fallen all too silent. The woods around us are quiet except for the slight rustling of the trees, and the air has grown icy. It hurts, but I can't differentiate that from the sting of the bullet wounds.

"We're good." Someone answers, and the squad reassembles, heading our way. A quick scan tells me that for the most part, my team is unscathed. There are a few minor scrapes and bumps, but nothing major other than Kevin.

Until I see Four.

He's not on my team, but his injuries are severe enough that they count.

"Radio in. We're heading back. Send out four more trucks. Patrol this area through the night, but no one leaves the vehicles." I bark out the orders to whoever's listening as I storm over to Four, taking in his shitty appearance.

There was something odd about this attack, something that isn't sitting well with me. It felt personal, not just a random group of factionless upset with the system. I eye Four as he walks over, and I realize he'll be heading to the infirmary. If the factionless had seemed to have it out for me, these guys really went after him. His head is bleeding, his mouth is bleeding, and he winces when straightens himself up.

"They're…"

"Trained. I know." I eye him intensely, squinting in the dark at his injuries. He's got a deep gash somewhere beneath his neck, the blood soaking through his shirt and smearing his skin, and a bruise slowly darkening by his eye. "We're heading back. Take your team in. I've called for backup for the rest of the night. Their orders will be shoot to kill, no questions asked."

He is silent, disliking my instructions but not enough to disagree. He waves his team over toward the trucks, his hand pressing his jaw when he thinks I'm not looking. We leave after one quick final surveillance, and I swear I see him glance back at the building with a funny look on his face.

 

 

"What the fuck happened to you?"

Molly's words are blurted out, her eyes as big as saucers as she takes in the three of us in front of her.

Upon arriving back at Dauntless, I'd taken my time. I'd signed the trucks in, quickly called Max, and had a stern word with the guards at the gates, as well as Kacie. I wasn't at all happy with how the night had gone, and I'd tripled the security for the next three weeks. By the time I was done, I felt bleary. I walked back to sign in the weapons borrowed, and I realized Kevin and Four were waiting for me.

I could have left them on their own, but Kevin wanted to talk- frantically insisting he go back out as soon as he could, and Four lagged behind, his posture telling me all I needed to know. He needed to be seen as soon as possible, and he'd only waited because Kevin was keeping him upright. So, I walked with them to the infirmary, and while our arrival was anticipated, the extent of our injuries wasn't. Molly looks at us in horror, and she nearly drops the stack of files she's holding.

"I'll get you all back right now. There's no wait." She assures us, even though none of us have actually spoken to her.

"Fanfuckingtastic" I snarl, and I grit my teeth together. I had made the snap decision to let someone glance at my injuries. Taking my time might not have been a brilliant move on my part. I'd always had a high pain tolerance, and I'd been able to pretend I didn't feel the burning jolt every time I moved. But now, in the darkest part of the evening, I had to admit it really fucking hurt. "Make it fast. I don't have all night."

For some reason, Kevin laughs at my words, but when I look at him, he looks just short of hysterical.

"You're funny, man. It's so late. Who even cares what time it is? I can't believe I got shot. In all my years, I've never…I've never even seen…"

"It happens." I answer, eyeing Four out of morbid curiosity. He's been absolutely silent, but his skin has taken on a sickly grey color. It suits him, sure. But even I can admit he should be seen first. "Four, go sit down. I'm not in the mood to carry you back there if you pass out."

My words are meant to be as mean as possible, for I'd love to assign some of the blame for the attack on him. In fact, I do. I still believe he knew they were armed, and my intent is to point that out as soon as I can.

But he's not listening to me. He throws me a dark look, and steps around to the other side of the desk.

"Can we get started? I need to get home. I have work in a few hours…" He looks defeated, standing there with his jacket askew and blood smeared on his neck.

"Yeah, uh you know what? Let me get you back now. I'll take you to the emergency trauma section." Molly eyes him cautiously, like he might vomit all over the floor, then at Kevin and me. "You two will go back in a second."

"No worries." I answer crankily. "We'll just bleed out over here in the non-emergency section."

"I got it, Eric. Look, they called in the gunshot wounds before you got here. We've been getting ready. You two, go back and to the left. There's open beds that way. I'll send someone over. Uh, Four here, I'll help you." Molly instructs, her concern more that Four might die in the lobby and she'll be responsible.

"Thanks." I bark at her, and Kevin laughs, and makes a strangled sound when he takes a step. The thrill of getting shot is wearing off, and I can tell he's feeling about the same as I am. He follows along as I walk past the desk, back and to the left. I only see one bed, but before I can ask Molly if she can count, two nurses appear, and they usher Kevin away.

The remaining one points for me to sit on the bed and announces she'll be right back.

I sigh, sitting down heavily, realizing this night is complete and utter shit, and it is only going to get worse.

 

 

I'm right.

Twenty minutes later, I lose it.

"Absolutely not." I snarl, pleased when the nurse takes a step back from me. She frowns, the unfortunate chosen one assigned to help me. The look on her face tells me she's regretting her decision to work here. "I don't need your help. I'll just clean it out myself."

In my delirium and superior thinking, walking into the infirmary was a good plan. I figured I'd drop Four off, make sure Kevin lived, and maybe have someone give me a band aid to slap over the wounds. Maybe something for the pain if it got bad enough. Climb back into bed beside Amity and call it a night. Yank out whatever was stuck in my skin in the morning.

Instead, this chick with the snakebites through her lips is repeatedly asking me to take my shirt off and her irritation is only slightly less than her nervousness.

"Sir, I can't… I can't do anything if you're sitting there fully dressed. You reported getting shot in the chest and the leg." She pauses and looks directly at me. "But I can't help you if I can't access the area. You haven't even let me triage you. Any procedure requires me to triage you first."

"Fuck off." I hiss, my mood having soured completely. "I'm leaving."

"You can't leave until you've been treated." She protests, but she recoils immediately at the look on my face. "Sir, I'm sorry, but you'll have to do more than take your jacket off. I can't…I can't do anything until your shirt is removed. That's final."

She moves slowly, reaching toward me like she's going to help me, and I shove her back.

"I'm fine," I snarl, my words dripping with venom. "I don't need you touching me."

The nurse exhales irritably, finally having lost her patience with me. We'd been in this standoff for a good ten minutes, all because I refused to undress. I had decided I could handle this on my own, and now she simply needed to get the fuck away from me.

But she doesn't think so.

"You were shot. All gunshot wounds require medical care. I need to clean the wound out and remove any fragments of the bullet that may still be in your skin."

I glare at her, but she doesn't get the hint. She reaches to the side of me, grabbing a pair of gloves and snapping them on. A second later she has tweezers, and I realize she's decided she'll shove my shirt to the side and work around the fabric. I think it's time for her to reconsider her career path.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" I roar at her, and ready myself to jump down off this bed.

I'm halted by the arrival of Max, waltzing in as though he owns the place.

"Eric." Max's voice barks at me, and I jerk my head toward him.

The sight of him is strange. Maybe it's the exhaustion creeping up, but he looks odd in the infirmary, the lights too bright and the smell of rubbing alcohol too strong.

Even worse- he's not alone.

I stare at him with a burning hatred, because right behind him is Everly.

Her appearance throws me off completely. I glare at her over his shoulder, walking slowly, certainly not upstairs asleep. Her hair is pulled up in a messy bun, her shoes not tied, and her leggings have been thrown on. I realize, with slow and sticky horror, that after I'd called him, he'd gone and fetched her.

Like she needed to be here.

Like I needed her.

"Why is she here?" I ask him darkly, not bothering to look at Everly. She inches closer to me, her arms wrapped around herself. She looks like he'd woken her up out of a dead sleep, and I bet he'd noticed she's still got my shirt on.

"Can I see his chart?" Max asks, completely ignoring my question as he pretends he's a doctor. He glances at me once, mostly at the blood on my chest, then back at the nurse. She looks smug, and she gloats in my direction, thinking I'll now be forced to allow her to treat me. I make a mental note of her name, so I can have Arlene reprimand her later.

"Okay, Sir. Here's the problem…" Kelly announces to him, pausing when I throw her a nasty look right back. She takes Max's arm and walks him a step away, fully ready to give him an earful.

I hate her.

Everly uses the opportunity to step even closer, and her eyes fall to my leg. I hadn't even noticed the wound there, but under the bright lights, it looks far worse than expected. I stay perfectly still, realizing she's seeing firsthand what she's chosen. I had promised a routine night, that absolutely nothing would happen, and now I was sitting here, soaked in my own blood.

"Why did Max bring you here? You're supposed to be sleeping," I snap at her, my anger wildly misdirected. Everly didn't shoot me, and it's not like she came here on her own. But seeing her here is making this even worse. I'd been assigned to train her, to show her how to survive here. To make her lethal.

Now I'm seated atop a bed, needing medical attention, after crowing about how easy this patrol would be.

She doesn't answer me right away. She does smile up at me, her big eyes finding mine, but the smile is tense. Nervous. Not at all like the smile she'd given me while eating her dessert. It's distracting. I'm surprised when I feel her hand on mine, her small fingers touching my own so gently I want to flinch.

I look away.

"Eric." She says my name softly, so quietly I almost don't hear her. "Are you okay? I mean, really okay?"

I drag my stare back to her, wishing she wasn't here.

She looks far smaller than before, swallowed up by my clothes and these bright lights. I'm overcome by a fleeting flash of panic, of rocky concern, that this is what she's in for. She's an easy target. Small. Tiny even. The person who shouldn't be out there. On a patrol, she's what they'd look for. No amount of my training, whether it be rifle training, combat training, or even basic fighting, would prepare her for this. It happened to me, and it's with great dismay that I realize it could happen to her.

I stare at her, the way her eyes are soft with nothing but concern, and my stomach turns over unpleasantly.

The look on her face is pure worry.

I want to shove her away from me. She shouldn't be worried about me; this is nothing but a hazard of my job, one I was willing to accept the risks for. I can feel it radiating off her, this compassion because I've been injured, and she doesn't like it. I've never had anyone stare at me like they were consciously bothered by this, but there she is, tightening her grip on my hand as I realize out of all of this, he was right to bring her.

There is comfort in her, no matter how small or how ridiculous the idea is. Seeing her, knowing she was waiting for me to return, her hand on mine, it makes it all a little less terrible.

Which makes me feel like complete garbage.

"Promise me you won't leave the compound without me. Ever." I swallow heavily, finally speaking up when she doesn't move. She doesn't have to promise this at all; part of her job will be to know every inch of Dauntless. To be outside, knowledgeable of most areas, to be a presence in other factions. Staying here isn't really an option.

To my relief, she nods.

"I promise."

I look down at my hand, hers still on mine, the differences stark. I sigh, and I raise my head up to look over her, and the action causes a violent burst of pain behind my eye. It could have been the lack of sleep, the late hour, or the fact that I'd been shot. Or stabbed in the head. I can't even differentiate any of the pain anymore.

"Someone's been teaching the factionless how to shoot. Preparing them for battle… I don't know who it is. And my head fucking hurts."

I don't know why I'm telling her this, for Everly has not a single clue what I'm talking about. The factionless were not a nuisance to Amity and if they showed up, they wouldn't find them a threat. Everly had never seen them violent, never seen them rebel, and I doubt she'd understand why we were concerned.

Before I can explain, Kelly is back, tweezers in hand and a determined expression on her face. Her eyes drop to Everly's hand on mine, and she looks up slowly, realizing her error of looking at me. But she keeps walking, stopping only when I sneer at her.

"Arlene!" she yells out, and in front of me, Everly flinches. "I need your assistance."

I roll my eyes at Kelly.

Arlene appears moments later, and her smile breaks into a very self-righteous look when she sees Everly there. In fact, she looks so happy, so disgustingly pleased, that I feel ill.

"Everly! It's wonderful to see you back here." Arlene steps between us, examining me quickly. Her stare skates over my head, the blood seeping through my hair, my chest, and my thigh. She doesn't look impressed, but she doesn't look horrified either.

"Stand up and take your pants off. We'll try to make this quick, Coulter. We'll get you stitched up and you and Everly can head home." Arlene announces with nothing but professionalism. I eye her suspiciously, and she still smiles at me. Widely.

"I'm fine. And I'm not taking my pants off for you, Arlene." I shake my head at her. I'd rather risk losing a leg than stand here half naked in front of Arlene. "Head down to the Pit if you want a show."

"Funny." She snaps at me, "You want your leg to rot off, then fine. But I'll need to make sure there's nothing that can get into your bloodstream to cause an infection. Because if it does, Everly here will be joining Four's class."

"Were you shot in the leg, too?" Everly asks, sounding horrified. The look on her face is funny, a bit panicked when she realizes the blood on my pants is in fact, from my leg and not just a splatter from something else.

"I'll take care of it myself." I tell Arlene.

"Don't be stupid," Arlene snaps in return. She stares me down, her eyes flashing behind her glasses. "Take off your pants, now."

"Never."

Everly manages to step between us, and she tilts her head at Arlene. "Can you give us a few minutes?"

The room falls silent. Arlene stares at her, then sighs, as though she's got ten thousand other things to do and this is far beyond the limit of her patience.

"Three minutes. We've got other patients waiting," Arlene answers shortly. She nods, throws me a very pressing look that I'm sure I'll hear about later, and stalks off to presumably check on Kevin.

"Eric." Everly says my name again, and I feel hot when her fingers find mine. There's an ease to her touch, and I have to look away from her. I'm seconds away from giving in, mostly because she and I can go back home. It's bad enough to be seen like this, but in front of her feels like a total failure.

"It's fine." I insist. I grit my teeth together, and steel myself to leave. My leg is aching now, and my chest doesn't feel much better. But looking at it in my apartment seems better than in here.

Everly shakes her head.

"It's bleeding pretty bad." Though she says the words gently, I bristle at them, growing angry at myself all over again.

"Go back upstairs, Everly."

"Can you stand on it?" She looks up at me, ignoring my command. I shrug at her. "Try to stand up."

I stare dully, wondering at what point I started taking commands from the smallest person in this faction. But her stare is insistent. To prove her wrong, I slide off the table, smug as I land uninjured leg first. I try not to wince as I set the other foot down, but after sitting, the pain is nearly unbearable.

Even worse, I find myself gripping her hand tightly, as I straighten up.

"Fuck."

"Okay, so I think you should get the stitches," Everly announces, her eyes still full of worry.

I shake my head furiously, ready to smack her away. "Let go of me, Amity."

I start to turn and reach for my jacket, but she's quick. She reaches out, grabbing the waist band of my pants. She fumbles for the button, her fingers skimming the inch of exposed skin, and I shove her hands away.

"Stop it." She scolds me, then has the audacity to smack my hands away. A second later, she undoes the top button, then looks up at me. Her expression is amusing, and she yanks the zipper down while her eyes are on mine.

"This isn't exactly the scenario I had in mind when I imagined you taking my pants off."

She tries not to laugh, though my words are no lie.

"Me either." She looks at me pointedly, then shoves them down my hips until they stop at my knees. I sigh, pushing back up and onto the table, and I kick my boots off. I then gracelessly kick them at her, and she smiles tightly.

"Ready?" Arlene's voice, like nails on a chalkboard, comes out of nowhere. I'd forgotten she was lurking about, probably watching us and taking notes. I grimace at the sight of her, and Everly takes my hand in hers.

Like I'm a small child.

"Let her help you." She quietly pleads with me, and I find myself tightening my fingers through hers. Like a reflex I didn't want. I'd never held anyone's hand before, and hers seems comically smaller than mine.

Arlene is beside herself with glee.

"At least one of you has some common sense."

"Fine." I bark at both of them, and Everly visibly relaxes.

I ignore her while Arlene examines my chest first. She pulls out a few pieces here and there- sharp shards of burnt metal mixed with blood, and I stay still when she flushes the wound out. I ignore the disgusting waves of pain that come every few seconds. Arlene pauses, stopping to inform me it's not bad, a poor shot that more lucked into my chest than anything, and I take it to mean at least it didn't hit any major organs. She then injects something to numb it before moving on to clean out the wound on my leg.

She repeats the process. She works efficiently, washing it out and pulling a few fragments of bullet remnants out of the wound. She examines one before tossing it to the side. It clanks noisily in the quiet room, and once satisfied, she numbs my leg and goes back to my chest.

She stitches it up first, blocking the view of Everly, and I only cringe once, when the needle stabs my skin in a place that is far more tender than anticipated.

Everly looks like she's holding her breath.

Through it all, her fingers stay through mine, keeping us anchored together.

Once she's done with the stitches, Arlene places one hand on my head, and squints at my hair.

"You're lucky. Whatever they tried to stab you with only caused minor trauma. I can close it up without stitches. Just be careful washing your hair for a few days."

I don't answer her. There's a slight pressure while she pushes the skin together, applies something, then turns away, grabbing a syringe. I know what's coming, the clear liquid mocking me, and I shake my head violently.

"I don't want that."

She ignores me.

She stabs the needle into my exposed thigh, the sensation even more painful when she smiles.

"It's a very mild painkiller. It'll take the edge off your pain." She places a bandage on my chest, followed by one on my leg, then takes a step back to critically examine her work. "You'll sleep well tonight."

I sneer at her. I'd sleep just fine without her drugs. "Can I go now?"

"Sure." Arlene nods; she makes notes on the chart, writing quickly and neatly, before she turns to face Everly.

"He'll probably be sore tomorrow. Make sure to keep an eye out for signs of infection. Redness, swelling, oozing. Bring him back here if you notice anything. Especially if he spikes a fever. He'll be a little cranky tomorrow. But that's nothing out of the ordinary."

I glare at her, even though her back is to me.

"Sign here." She shoves the papers at Everly, and I silently groan as Everly reads them.

The pages are routine, implemented by Arlene after she took over the infirmary. She liked order and organization, though I doubt anyone here cared to read through her paperwork. The first page was a summary of the procedures performed, followed by a list of symptoms to look out for, a notice to return in one week for a follow-up, and at the very bottom, the need for a signature.

Since I had been given something that could potentially affect my balance or knock me out, I needed to be signed out.

Like a fucking infant.

Everly looks up at me once, and I don't have to read the paper to know Arlene has listed her as my responsible party and emergency contact because she shares my last name.

I watch her nod, then take the pen from Arlene. She skims the pages, then neatly signs Everly Coulter at the bottom of the paper.

Arlene turns to me, and I realize I am too tired to rebuke her self-righteous grin.

 

 

Our walk back is nearly identical to Everly's walk back from the infirmary, except this time, I bump into her. I can tell she's trying not to laugh, even when I nearly knock her into the wall. I chalk it up to the lack of sleep, Arlene's stupid painkiller, and the fact that I haven't had any coffee in the last five hours.

"We're almost back home."

Everly sounds sympathetic, her voice bouncing off the hallway as she very gently touches my arm to guide me around a corner.

I ignore the fact she's referred to my apartment as home and us as we.

Only because I'm tired, and the painkiller is slowly kicking in, and my head feels heavy and slow as I replay the events of the night, over and over again.

 

 

I lie on the bed, waiting for death.

Everly fumbles to turn the lights off, the act taking her two hundred hours, and I groan when she stops to undress. I have half a mind to yell at her to hurry up and get in bed already, my patience nonexistent but she's been nothing but disgustingly kind since we got home.

She'd walked me into my own bedroom, well- trailed behind me, and then helped me take off my shirt. She stood on her tiptoes to help gingerly pull it over my head, avoiding where Arlene had glued it back together. Much like my pants, this wasn't how this little scenario had gone down in my mind. I'd scowled when I tossed it aside, and her stare focused right on the bandage. Not on my chest. Not on my face. On the already bloodied fabric that hid the mess beneath it.

After forever, she looked up at me, still painfully worried, and I'd shaken my head.

I was fine.

I just needed to sleep it off, and I'd wake up good as new.

She'd eyeballed me while I kicked my shoes off, then my pants, and stumbled into the bathroom to brush my teeth. I silently cursed Four while I spit my water into the sink, and I vowed to avenge… myself… the next time I got stuck on a patrol with him. Once done, I stalked off to bed, and waited for Everly to finish doing whatever it was she was doing and join me.

My pillow feels heavenly, cold and comfortable, and I throw one arm over my eyes. I hear her bump into something, and I can only assume it's the wall. It dawns on me that it's incredibly late, and she more than likely won't have class in the morning.

"You probably won't have your simulation tomorrow. I don't think Four will be released tonight," I announce far too loudly, considering she's the only one in here. "I'm not going to visit him, so don't ask me that."

I hear her laugh, and the sound grows closer as she approaches the bed. "I didn't ask you anything." She answers, and I peer at her from underneath my arm. Her hair is down, and her leggings are gone, and she's looking at my thigh. She's certainly doing a lot of checking me out, except not in the way I want.

She frowns at the bloodiness of this one, her stare unimpressed.

This whole scenario feels a far cry from her hands down my boxers.

"Yeah, but you were going to," I mumble, not at all sure what I'm talking about. I hadn't even seen Four, nor did I have any update on him. But judging from his sallow appearance when we had walked into the infirmary, he wouldn't be teaching her anything anytime soon.

Everly shakes her head and climbs into bed beside me. She moves closer to me, bending over to look at the bandage. Her hair falls, grazing my chest, and I move my arm away from my eyes.

She looks right at me, her green eyes bright even in the late night.

"I was not," she protests. She reaches out to touch the skin around the bandage, frowning. "I'm glad you're okay, Eric."

Before I can mutter thanks, she settles against my side, lying her head down on my chest. It only takes her a second to get comfortable, and the weight of her is calming. Familiar. Comforting, I suppose. I close my eyes, and reach one arm up, resting it in her hair. I dig my fingers in, the act something I hadn't planned on, but it slows down the frantic pace of tonight. I feel slightly more normal, less irritable than seconds ago.

"Goodnight, Eric."

The room is dark and quiet, except for the sound of her sighing. I relax beneath her, and the next thing I know, I feel myself pulled down into a hazy, drugged sleep.

 

 

I wake up to someone banging on the door.

I open my eyes slowly, then shut them despite the persistence of whoever is outside. They're obnoxiously loud. But they clearly have a purpose, because you'd have to have a good reason to knock on my door for anything, let alone hours after I'd been shot.

Unfortunately for them, I have no desire to get up.

Neither does Everly.

She pushes her head into my chest, her dark hair spilling down my side, and one arm slung over my abdomen. I stare down at her, blinking slowly as she moves the slightest.

"Make it stop," she mumbles, and she sounds just as tired as I feel.

I give the person a second to realize I'm not answering the door at this God forsaken hour, but they don't give up. The banging grows louder, faster, more determined.

I groan, beginning the process of slowly untangling myself from Everly. Despite her somewhat awkward position, she hadn't moved all night. Maybe I'd kept her in place, or maybe she'd been too exhausted to turn over in her sleep, but she'd stayed right there, on my chest. Even now, she lets out a dissatisfied whine when I sit up, moving her to the side.

"Eric?" She says my name slowly, turning to peer up beneath long eyelashes at me.

I stare down the bedroom door.

"What the fuck," I bark, irritated as ever. "Who is that?"

Everly shrugs, but she doesn't move. She's warm and content beneath the covers, safe from the world in here.

So, I shove her over an inch, and look down at her, deciding she can get up. My guess is it's Four, arriving to valiantly drag her down to class. It would be right up his alley to decide he'd continue his training, probably having stayed up all night to prepare. I can picture his face clearly, and since he's looking for her, I decide I'm going back to bed.

"Go see who it is."

"You go see who it is," she retorts, sounding just as cranky as I do. I can't entirely blame her. I know she enjoys her sleep, and it felt like we'd laid down only minutes ago.

"I got shot. You go get the door." I remind her, and she finally opens her eyes. She doesn't look impressed, but she does look pretty.

She looks at me with a dark expression before she shoves the covers off her, sighing heavily. I smirk from my vantage point, and in brave retaliation, she chooses to climb over me. Except not all the way. She pauses, settling herself carefully atop my lap, and I reach out to grasp her hips without thinking about it.

Fuck the gunshot wound.

"Really. You couldn't just go the other way?" I forget all about my plans to go back to bed. I forget about being shot, about Four's bleeding face, and the mountain of paperwork that awaits my return to the office after this whole fiasco. Everly is staring at me, her green eyes darker as she chews her lip, and works hard to appear innocent. "I mean, I'm not complaining."

She bites down harder, and I know. Because I'm staring at her mouth, and she knows it.

"I'm thinking about asking for a room reassignment," She announces, suddenly very serious for someone who's straddling me. "And not telling anyone where I live, so that no one can wake me up by knocking on the damned door."

I narrow my eyes at her and she tilts her head to the side, pretending to consider it. "Maybe I'll tell you. You know, in case you want to come by and make sure my shower's working." Her bravery runs out as I tighten my grip on her, eyeing her carefully.

There was no point in pretending anymore. I'd let her get close, and after last night, I knew this was something more than I'd planned. Her presence had felt right, embarrassing, but right. And this, her little stunt reminding me she had gotten close to me, it felt all sorts of ways.

Mostly, arousing.

"You're playing a very dangerous game here, Everly. One you aren't about to win." I hiss her name at her, giving in to the urge to kiss her. The act is chaste: it's nothing more than my lips against hers, her hands sliding into my hair, and her shifting forward. I break away from her when I feel everything inside me tighten. The stitches pull awkwardly, my boxers feel a size too small, and my chest throbs where the wound is. She looks at me with her big eyes and I swear silently when the knocking reaches a level that might break my door down.

I blame Four.

Motherfucking Four.

"Go get the door." I bark at her, disappointed when she listens.

"Fine." She climbs off me slowly, carefully, and the loss of her warmth evokes a groan from me. Or maybe it's the friction of her, giving the slightest pressure to my aching dick, as she slides off the bed.

I watch her leave, and I sigh heavily.

The clock beside my bed reads 8:06, and I can tell it's going to be a long day.

 

 

 

I sit on the bed and read my emails.

There's plenty of them: a security warning for all the factions, a report sent out to all active patrol squads, a report from Peter, one from Kacie, a memo about safety precautions to take while driving at night, and a cc'd copy of the menu for the Leadership Dinner.

Out of everything, I read that one.

It doesn't sound terribly horrifying, but it does remind me I'm supposed to somehow ask Everly if she'd like to go. Judging from her little stunt getting off the bed, I don't think she'll turn me down. Still, the thought of asking her seems stupid, so I decide I'll ask her in my own way.

I slide off the bed when I hear Everly talking to someone, and I realize it's Max. This can only mean that Four isn't there today, and she'll have the day off since I'm not about to head down there and perform her simulations. I could, but the thought is unpleasant. Combined with the lack of sleep, I decide she can just do whatever she pleases today.

I head to the shower, deciding it's time to wash the blood off me, and I spend a long time thinking about how the factionless learned to shoot so well.

 

 

 

By ten, I give in to the urge to take something for the pain.

I'd showered, not bothering to do more than halfheartedly comb my hair and throw boxers on. The bandages had to be reapplied, and I scowled at the sutures in my skin. I had no time for this, but at least they were healing quickly. Arlene had not only applied something to speed up the healing time but injected it as well. I knew her stupid painkiller wasn't just a painkiller, and I muster up a minute amount of gratitude toward her.

Still, I have to admit I feel like shit.

Even that feels shitty, but there's little I can do. It hurts to walk on my leg, my head hurts from being split open, my pride hurts from Everly being summoned down to the infirmary as if they couldn't handle me.

I wander out into the living room, flopping down on the couch rather despondently. It feels the tiniest bit dramatic as I grab a few pillows, but I had instructions from Arlene to stay off that leg. She had snapped at me to keep it elevated, though I couldn't see why that would help. It did feel slightly better that way, but the angle felt weird and it made me irritable. After a minute of trying to get comfortable, I give up. I press my palms into my eyes hard enough that I see stars.

"Here."

I slide my palms down, looking up in surprise as Everly appears with my bed pillow in her hands. She shoves it behind me, adjusting it a few times, then she grabs the blanket from the other end of the couch. She throws it over me, but nicely, making sure I'm comfortable before she stops to survey her work.

To my dismay, she's dressed.

To my further dismay, I'm bothered by that fact.

"Going somewhere?" I watch her intently, suddenly slow and tired. She nods her head, fixing the blanket one more time until she's satisfied.

"I am. You look like you're about to fall asleep, and unless you want me to stay here and read out loud to you…" She answers cheerfully, and I scowl at her.

"I do not want you to read me a book about wizards."

"Did you know that they call non-wizards muggles?" She asks, her tone sweetly teasing. She sits down next to me, and I glare at her for even suggesting such a horrific idea.

"Did you know I don't care?" I snap, but it's not her. The painkiller has kicked in, and my eyes are heavy. I fight the urge to close them, hating that she's made me fairly comfortable, and really hating that she's about to leave.

Everly laughs, her smile bright as she reaches forward without any hesitation. I should smack her hand away for not being afraid to touch me, but I can't summon up the energy. She'd already seen me at my lowest, so I decided to indulge myself. I give in, closing my eyes as she touches my hair, her fingers pushing it back. She's careful as she strokes her fingers through it, avoiding where Arlene's work is, and the feeling is unbelievably pleasant.

Too pleasant.

So, I ruin it by blurting out the theory I came up with in the shower.

"I think Four has been teaching the factionless."

"What?" Everly stops immediately, her gaze fixed on me. "Why would he do that?"

I stare back at her, trying to wake myself up. "That part I haven't figured out yet. But I will."

She nods, untangling her fingers from my hair and I find myself glaring at her. I know she's leaving, and I want her to stay. I want her to sit beside me, where she's safe, until this shitty day is over. But she doesn't. She smiles at me, her fingers lingering before she pulls them away, and her eyes never leave mine.

"I'm sure you will."

I watch her stand up, and I have the strange urge to reach out and grab her arm and yank her back. But I don't. I stay right where I am, my eyes closing, and I give in to the much-needed sleep.

 

 

 

I wake up to my phone ringing.

I sit up slowly, the blanket having grown too warm but my head feeling somewhat better. Everything still hurts, but I don't feel quite as sleep deprived as before.

I answer the phone quickly, grunting hello.

"Eric? What the hell?! I've been trying to get ahold of you for ages!"

The rush of words comes not from the person I'd hoped it was, but from Ashley. In my sleep and painkiller-soaked brain, I'd assumed it was Everly calling. I'm not sure why. That thought made absolutely no logical sense. She didn't have a phone, and she certainly wouldn't know my number if she did.

But I'd answered, thinking she was on the other end.

"You've been declining my calls, I know. It's because of that stupid list, isn't it? Look, you know it's my job. Just like it's your job, and you haven't even been doing your job. I've been covering for you…but listen, I want to see you. Before the dinner. I know you'll be there."

Ashley rambles on in an oddly desperate manner. I can barely understand her, and I realize she's walking somewhere. I can picture her rushing through the hallways of Erudite, phone glued to the side of her head as she frantically tries to find somewhere private.

When I don't answer her, she grows cross.

"What is your deal? You've been a total ass to me, and in fact, ERIC, I get the feeling you're ghosting me. And I've done absolutely nothing to deserve it. NOTHING." She hisses the last part, venom seeping through the phone. "It's because of her, isn't it? That wretched little…"

She pauses, her breathing having grown erratic with anger, and she takes a deep breath to calm herself down.

"That girl you were forced to train. I know you're almost done with her."

I sit up, my world slowly coming into focus.

"Why are you calling?" It's the first thing I can think of to say, and I'm pleased when it comes out sounding nasty and not drugged. "I told you, I'm done. I'm busy. I have no reason to see you."

"You fucking liar." She retorts, and she lowers her voice. "It's her, isn't it?" Is she fucking you to pass her training and that's why you're too busy to take my calls? Am I boring you because I'm not some naïve little farm girl-"

"Fuck off." I bark at her, now fully awake. I stare at the blanket Everly had given me, and I have the sudden urge to shove it down Ashley's throat. "You have no clue what's going on. I've told you all along, there is no you and me. I don't owe you a fucking thing."

"Eric, wait!" She protests, knowing me well enough she's aware I'm about to hang up. Truth be told, I'm livid. If I could, I'd strangle her through the phone for daring to suggest the only way Everly could pass was to sleep with me.

"We're done here."

I end the call abruptly, my nerves firing in anger. I wish I'd never answered the phone, and I only have myself to blame. I wallow in self-pity for only a moment, before a cheerful knock interrupts my sulking. I eye the door warily, about to completely lose my shit if it's Four or Max, but to my surprise, it's Rylan, Jason, and Jeremy.

Rylan strolls in like it's the best day ever.

Jason follows, coffees in both hands until he shoves one at me, and Jeremy follows behind looking nervous. He flashes me an anxious smile, one that betrays his cool exterior, as his eyes sweep over everything. I can see him taking in the layout, one far larger than the temporary one he's been given, and his eyes soak it all in. The doors to the bedrooms – only mine open, and the gray blanket on the couch. There's no actual sign that Everly lives here, but my bedroom is another story. If he was ballsy enough to "accidentally" wander in there, he'd find my bed unmade and the sheets shoved to the side. He'd find her shoes next to mine, her clothes atop my dresser, and her hairbrush on my nightstand.

A wealth of information that not only did she really live here, but she shared my bed.

Luckily for me, he's not stupid.

He sticks close to Rylan, knowing that being brought along either meant they trusted him, or had been assigned to keep him busy. Judging by the way Jason kicks his feet up onto my table and eyes Jeremy with disdain, it's the latter.

"We thought we'd come check on you." Rylan announces, flopping down beside Jason and motioning for Jeremy to follow suit. "We heard Four led you straight into gunfire. What a prince."

He nods at me knowingly, and I roll my eyes, lazily wandering over to sit down. Their appearance is a much-needed distraction, and I find myself glad they stopped by.

"Right into it. I'm not sure why, but he did." I answer, and Jeremy stares at me with great interest.

"Cause he was hoping you'd die, that's why." Jason answers, taking a large swallow of his drink. "He's probably thinking Dauntless can only have one dark and mysterious person in it, and that's him."

"Seriously?" Rylan asks him, and I shake my head at Jason's tone.

"There can be only one." Jason continues dramatically, and Jeremy is having a hard time not cracking a smile.

"You guys, uh, you and Four don't get along?" He asks me, clearly uneasy on my couch. Or maybe because I'm sitting across from him in my boxers. I don't give a shit about the reason why, but I placate him by answering his question.

"No." I take a swallow of the drink they'd brought me, enjoying the bitter coffee. "And we never will. He doesn't agree with our new rules, and I don't agree with his entire life."

Jeremy nods, toying with the lid on his drink.

"He uh, I guess…dated my girlfriend."

The room falls silent.

"You have a girlfriend?" Jason asks, looking at me. "Who? The girl who fell down the stairs in front of us?"

"No," Jeremy shakes his head slowly, and his mannerisms remind a lot of Four. "Uh, Tris. She's coming with me to the dinner."

Ah.

Scratch that.

He's a newer version of Four.

Four 2.0

"You're going?" I ask, and I swallow down my coffee, hoping it'll kick in quickly. "Max invite you?"

"Yeah. He said I should bring a date. He said it would give us…a better impression? Makes us seem nicer or something. I asked Tris and she said sure. She told me she told Everly she was going. I told her I didn't know. I just assumed you were bringing your—"

He stops, and I cock my eyebrow at him, just daring him to continue with that little statement.

"My…?"

"Eric, did you redecorate? It looks bigger in here?" Rylan interrupts and I throw him a weird look.

"No." I answer flatly, and he silently tries to tell me to shut up. "I did nothing of the sort."

"Is this dinner fun? Max said it was a nice night out?" Jeremy asks, looking over at Rylan as he none to subtly tries to change the subject. He's realized the error of his question and he tries to cover it up. "Will Tris and I have fun?"

"Eh, depends on who you bring. I might not be there, but it's way more fun if you go with the right person." Rylan answers him, shrugging his shoulders.

"Why won't you be there?" I ask him, internally groaning. It was bad enough I still had to attend, but it would be far more bearable if he and Jason were there.

"Someone has to oversee the patrol squads. With the heightened security, it'll fall to a leader to be there. Max would rather die than not get a free meal, so he'll go. And he made it clear he wants you and your…Everly there, so you'll go." Rylan snickers, and I flip him off. "Jason has already been assigned an on-call shift that you know he'll get called into so he can't go, and Harrison informed us he ordered a suit so no one better dare suggest he stay behind."

"Interesting." Jeremy answers, and I lean back. The painkiller is wearing off, and I'm beginning to grow antsy. The bullet wounds have an itchy burn to them, and it makes sitting here and focusing a challenge.

"Four can't oversee the…squads?"

"No." Jason interrupts, shaking his head furiously. "Never again. The night is a very dark time for Four. He can't handle it. Nor will anyone want to go with him after his last appearance."

"Didn't uh, Eric didn't you lead the patrol?" Jeremy looks over at me, his posture far too casual for someone who's implying something he shouldn't have.

"I did." I answer sharply, and I enjoy the way he leans back into the couch, his bravery vanishing under my stare. "I lead it to where Four told us the activity had been reported. Is there something you're getting at?"

He backpedals immediately, holding up both hands in surrender. "I was just curious. Four seemed pretty beat up over it. But uh, I assumed he was like, ninth in command and had no real authority here. Tris and I saw him walking this morning. He looked rough."

"Great." I answer flatly, and Rylan sets his coffee cup down and wipes his hands on his pants.

"Hey, dude, I'm glad you're alright. We just wanted to stop by and say hi. We should probably let you get some rest before…Everly gets back." He stands up and motions for Jason to follow. Jason throws him a dirty look, one that darkens when Rylan shakes his head. "You and Jeremy are supposed to be working on the truck inspections, anyway."

"Fine." Jason stands up and stretches until his neck cracks. "Come on, newbie. Time to go inspect some tires. You may have missed this part when you read the Dauntless Manifesto, but our main purpose for being here is actually as a low paid mechanic."

"Sounds exciting. I must have missed that section." Jeremy nods, and throws a smile at me. "Glad you're… _alive_."

His intent is fine, but the word alive has such a weird stress to it that I narrow my eyes at him.

I don't say goodbye to him personally, but I do stand there after I shut the door once they leave, wondering just how close to Tris he really is. I think about it as I lie back down, falling asleep to the thought of him and Tris, attending the same dinner as Everly and me.

 

 

I wake up to Everly making what I can only assume is dinner.

I'd taken another painkiller after my friends had left, then almost immediately passed out again on the couch. I woke up sweaty and nauseous, and decided I needed to shower and eat something other than coffee. A quick glance at my leg showed the bandage was bloody all over again, so I peeled it off with great annoyance before stalking off to take my second shower of the day.

I ignore the fact that I'd wasted my entire day. It bothered me, wasting time while I could be productive. But I chalked it up to Everly needing a break anyway, and really- there was little I could do other than read emails and try to focus enough to send a coherent response.

Showering again seems more productive. I wash my hair for a second time, feeling somewhat more human by this point, and I dress in a shirt and boxers. I brush my hair slightly more neatly than before, and I stretch my neck from side to side, until my spine pops in relief. The shower helped; I'm practically healed as I wander out to the kitchen, fully prepared to take over whatever Everly was doing.

Mostly so my kitchen didn't burn down.

However, I lose my train of thought when she stops to hand me a plate of eggs and toast.

"Just exactly how long was I asleep?" I ask her suspiciously, and she smiles widely.

"Just eat it, Eric." She sounds cheerful as she follows me to the couch. She curls up next to me, keeping little space between us. I notice she has her own plate of the same food, and I make a mental note that someday, if she sticks around long enough to warrant it, I'll show her how to make things that are edible.

"Did you think about Four any further?" She looks over at me, pleased as she takes a bite of her toast.

I stare back at her darkly.

"I try never to think about Four. But I'll run it by Max. I can take a small team down there and see if any of them want to talk."

Everly nods. I doubt she's ever thought about the factionless like this, and it feels strange to tell her about it. But it's a reality she'll encounter someday, probably sooner than later.

"How is he doing?" She asks again, and I shrug, not at all concerned about Four. I still hadn't and wouldn't forgive him for what had happened, and I had already decided he was at fault. His hesitation and secrecy told me all I needed to know, and that was that Four knew they'd be armed.

"No clue." I stare at her, making sure she's paying attention. "And don't even suggest we go visit him."

She leans back against the couch, tilting her head up at me as though she's considering saying it just to be a pain in my ass.

"I won't." She stops eating, then smiles. Brightly. "I met Bob today."

Fuck.

I knew I shouldn't have taken a nap. Or a second nap. Her wandering around Dauntless wasn't something I'd encouraged, and while Bob was harmless, he wasn't subtle about anything. Or smart. I stare at her critically, wondering if he'd done something to her. Maybe she'd done something simple, like pierced her ears or her nose. Or maybe it was something I couldn't see.

Yet.

"Oh, yeah?"

"He said he wouldn't pierce me unless you were there." She sounds put out, and I can't help but smirk. I take it back, Bob is smarter than I thought. He knew I'd have something to say about it, even though Everly could pierce whatever she wanted.

"Oh, did he now?"

"He did," She answers, and she looks up at me, pushing her bangs out of her face. I suddenly wonder why she went there, and if there was something she wanted. I find it odd, that strangely, I can't think of a single piercing that would look bad on her.

"Did you want to get pierced?" I raise my eyebrow at her, the idea of taking her down there myself, bouncing around my skull. I could always take her after she passed her training, maybe as some strange and subtle way to celebrate her initiation coming to an end.

The thought dies when she shakes her head and stabs at her eggs. "Christina said he does your piercings. How many do you have? Because I can only think of the two."

Ah.

I exhale sharply, and this time, it's hard not to smirk at her.

Everly was smart. Very smart. In her persistence to sleep next to me, falling asleep atop me, and all our time together, she'd clearly taken a very careful inventory of my body and her confusion was to be expected. She was correct in that aspect; there were only two visible piercings, and I knew exactly what she was thinking. I wait until she's looking right at me, her innocence of the situation making me want to snort, and I smile at her.

Smugly.

"That's because that's all you've seen. For now."

She freezes.

I can see her mind whirling, her posture perfectly straight now.

"Tell me." She demands out of nowhere, and it's not what I was expecting. I almost knock my plate over at the look on her face, because her expression tells me she's oddly determined to figure this mystery out.

"Think hard, little Amity."

I watch, feeling very pleased, as she stares back at me. I nearly lose it when her gaze abruptly drops to my boxers, and her lips part open.

"Oh."

She blurts the word out, her cheeks now bright red despite all her previous teasing. She looks taken aback, like she's never considered someone might pierce anything but visible skin.

I stare at her, wondering what her reaction will be when she sees it.

Ashley had been grossed out.

She'd reacted like an immature shrew, clutching her invisible pearls and staring at me in complete horror. She'd all but backed away, convinced I'd lost my mind, and I'd been repulsed she'd been so juvenile.

But Everly, sweet little Amity with her long hair and big eyes, doesn't look repulsed by the idea. She does look embarrassed, so much that she might pass out. Her face is red, the blood flooding her cheeks, but she's still looking at me, trying to figure this out.

I watch her with great enjoyment.

She bites her lip, and in that moment, I decide to fuck with her.

"I didn't know you had such a dirty mind, Everly." Her eyes are glued to me as I stand up, pulling myself to my full height. I hold her stare in place, smirking down at her trying to avoid looking at my boxers.

"He stretches out the gauges in my ears every month. But I'm glad to know you were thinking of something else."

She blinks at the horror of her suggestion, to my face, that she thought I'd pierced my dick.

I leave her on the couch, sauntering back to the kitchen, imagining the look on her face when she realizes she was one hundred percent correct.

 

 

Her skin is soft.

She's lying in my bed, still asleep, her legs askew and one arm thrown out. I'd found her to be attractive, but a sleeping Everly was downright alluring. She was far more than pretty, her skin pale and bare except for her underwear and the flimsy tank top that I slid up just enough. Her hair was everywhere, a stark contrast to skin so light I could see the veins laced beneath it, and her eyelashes were long. They weren't smeared with anything to make them longer, there was no thick black eyeliner smudged over them, and her lips were free from the sticky gloss that was popular around here.

She was on the smaller side, not taking up all that much space in my bed, but her presence was everywhere. She filled every inch of my life, every inch of my mind, especially now, as I hover over her.

I trace my fingers over the soft and slinky fabric, and I smirk at the thought of her buying such underwear. They were hardly seductive, especially the pale pink color, but I had the urge to rip them right off her and toss them to the side.

I resist.

But I do slide my fingers across her skin, warm from sleep, slowly grazing down until they reach beneath the waistband. I take my time, moving with excellent precision, relishing in this moment.

Unlike Everly, I have amazing self-control.

Sure, I'd love to continue. I could mimic her actions from the other day, but I knew what would happen. I wouldn't stop. She'd definitely wake up quickly, and I definitely wouldn't let her scamper off to the bathroom this time.

So, I work slowly, until the sensation is enough that she jerks upright. I change my tactic immediately, moving slowly, tracing up higher, until I reach her hip bone. I stare at her skin, admiring the muscle she's built while here, along with the curve of her waist, while I greet her.

"Hi, Everly."

"Eric!" She reacts immediately. Amity squirms, struggling to gain some traction against me, but she's pinned in place beneath me.

"Yes?" I answer her leisurely, looking up as my fingers let go of her hips. I shift my weight forward until I'm directly over her, and she slinks back down into her pillow.

"Oh, did I wake you? " I settle my weight on top of her, giving in to the sensation of her beneath me. I'd spent plenty of time like this, sure. Her first training classes often ended this way, except this time, I give in to the urge that's hammering at my brain, and I rock my hips into hers.

Her eyes widen.

They darken.

They find mine.

Her lips part open, and I have to admit, I have to really focus on what I'm doing. My intent was to pay her back, but judging by the way my body reacts, I might be torturing myself in the process. My hips push forward again, my body screaming for me to tear the clothes off the both of us and just get on with it already. She feels the same. She lets out a shaky breath, and her head falls back into the pillows. I get an exact idea of what she will look like, splayed out in my bed, as I thrust into her.

To distract myself, I bend down, until I find the very place on her neck I want. I kiss her slowly, enjoying the way she gasps in surprise. Delight. Both. I let go of her, and one hand roughly finds her hair, yanking her head to the side. She's not the least bit afraid; she whimpers in delight and angles her head as I bite down to suck on her skin.

The previous marks have barely faded, the tiniest tinge of red still lingering, still holding on, and now, she'll have new ones all over again. She must like the idea, because she pushes herself into me, seeking out relief from the very frustration I share.

I refocus myself.

"Everly." I say her name deliberately drawn out.

It takes her a second, her legs tangled with mine now, and she attempts to answer while I move across her throat.

"Yes?"

My teeth scrape her skin, and I work my way back to her jaw, until I find her lips. I can't help the groan that slips out once I kiss her, my hips jerking forward, and her body pushing upward.

"Come to the Leadership Dinner with me." I say the words as I break away from her, barely able to get them out. "Next Friday."

I give her a millisecond to process this information before I kiss her roughly. I'm slowly losing it, the control I normally have over myself slipping away as my teeth crash into hers. I don't stop, and neither does she. This isn't just kissing her on my kitchen counter or kissing her goodbye. This is something else entirely, my body flush with hers, my hips working against hers as her legs widen and I sink down. In what might be the most embarrassing moment of my life, I realize if she moved just the slightest bit more, or one of us doesn't stop soon, it'll be over. I could come between her thighs, so painfully turned on that it hurts, like some inexperienced teenager.

She must feel the same way. She's sort of frantic, groaning in protest as I back away, and I wind up grazing her cheek with my lips.

"Leadership Dinner?" She gasps, and she looks up at me in confusion. "What?"

I've won.

I smirk against her, pushing myself up to look down at her. She looks absolutely delightful, her skin flushed and her lips swollen. Her neck is red and raw, and I can feel her pulse beneath her skin, the need radiating off her. "I know Tris told you."

"She mentioned…something about it." She blinks when I lean in, my nose touching hers. I leave it there for a split second, nuzzling her with mock affection, as she fumbles to answer me. "Okay, I'll go."

Her voice is far higher than I've heard it, strangled with the need for me to return to my previous position. I take one more look at her, swallowing down the thick desire to resume my attack on her mouth, and I shove myself off her. The air is cold as I recline back on my heels, smirking at her beneath me.

"Good. Maybe after the dinner, I'll show you my other piercing."


	13. Enough is Enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO SO SO much to Bamberlee for getting this back to me so quickly! 
> 
> Happy almost Friday! Enjoy this chapter a day early, or actually on Friday, depending on where you are in the world! (Ahem, Nikkol and Emily!)
> 
> Thanks to everyone who's followed along and reviewed ;) You guys are seriously the best!

She looks up at me as though she might murder me.

Or at least attempt it.

I'd left her just as worked up as I was, and the way her eyes flash angrily tells me she doesn't appreciate it one bit. I smirk down at the sight of her rosy skin as she sits upright, her stare glued to me. I'd reeled back from her and slid off the bed, mostly because I needed a second away from her.

She doesn't back down, not at all.

"Show me now." She demands loudly, sitting up even straighter. "Eric."

I can't even control my reactions to her anymore. My lips curl up in delight, her little game going on further than expected. She was cute when she was brave, and right now, she was downright courageous with her demands to lose my underwear.

"Ahh, getting a little impatient are we, Amity?" I smile widely as I step closer to the bed, and she scrambles to her knees. She kneels at the edge of the bed right in front of me, a glare crossing her face.

"Take your boxers off." She insists, refusing to back down. "Right. Now."

I blink at her, wondering what she'd do if I gave in to her. She was obviously trying to flip the tables on me, and while I like the idea, I shake my head. "No."

"Yes." She answers me through gritted teeth, and something flashes behind her eyes. I notice it immediately, and I lunge toward her, circling my arms around her until she's flush against me. I can feel every breath she sucks in, her heart beating like she's leapt from the roof, and her skin warm.

"Take them off for me. If you're so curious."

I dare her, watching her eyes intently. She doesn't hesitate at all, in fact, she proves she's far braver than I'd ever thought. She reaches her free hand down, skimming my side as she reaches for the waistband of my boxers. She's quick, sliding her fingers beneath the fabric for a split second before I shove her back onto the bed.

The temptation is getting harder and harder to ignore. Literally.

I push myself back onto the bed, and pin her down, settling between her legs. She squirms with faux determination to get free, but the way her eyes darken and her breathing is erratic tells me she's not really interested in going anywhere.

I think of everything that's transpired between us, everything that's happened to push us to this point, and I stare right at her.

Weeks ago, she had stood before me looking like she was lost, with her dumb dress, her big eyes, and her tangled hair. She'd mocked me with her tan skin, the easiness with which she slid into my life, and her cheerful disposition.

Then she aligned herself with me, fitting into my life as though it were meant to happen this way.

And now, she looks right at me with such intensity that there's no doubt she'd rip the boxers right off if I let her.

"Cute." I tell her, and her squirming doesn't stop. There's no real force behind it, and it would be easy for her to push me away if she really wanted to. "You're braver than I thought."

"Take them off, Eric." She does try to sit up, but all she succeeds in doing is scooting herself back into the mattress further up. "I'm starting to think you're all talk."

Her words nearly push me to the breaking point.

If this is what she wants, then this is what she'll get.

But not on her terms.

On mine.

"One more week," I hiss lowly, one arm on either side of her. Her chin juts out defiantly, unhappy with my decision to make her wait. "Then you're mine."

She doesn't take her eyes off me, or my smirk. The decision to sleep with her, fucking her until she can't see straight, has become a definite between us, but so has her irritation.

"Get off me," She pushes on my chest, scowling.

"Oh, so you don't like being woken up like this? Is it a little…" I pause, pretending to be thinking of just the right word. "Frustrating?"

She narrows her eyes.

"Why after the dinner?" She asks and changes her tactics. Her expression softens, and she looks up from beneath her hair. She sticks her lip out ever so slightly, as though she's part pouting at me, and part daring me to kiss her again.

This time, I resist her entirely.

"Because." I answer quickly, "I don't make a habit of fucking my initiates."

She nods her head, her dark hair falling in her eyes, and I climb off her, realizing we've got a long day ahead of ignoring our little agreement.

 

 

 

The next few days are miserable.

Not because I've been shot, and my injuries seem to be extra annoying at the worst moments, but because I'm bored. Boredom was something I rarely felt, but it seemed especially terrible since I was stuck at home with Everly. She wasn't at all awful, but after this morning, sitting around and staring at her felt like balancing on the edge of the chasm.

I didn't have much choice.

She reads a book next to me, lost in a world of witchcraft and stupidity. I find myself looking over at her when I don't want to, and I have to force myself to focus on the messages on my tablet instead of her exposed skin. Occasionally, I'd touched her hair. Messed with her. Twirled it around until it tangled. Pulled on the ends. Yanked it when she looked a little too comfortable.

She'd thrown me a look that told me she knew I was bored, and I could only smirk at her in return. I did stop pulling on her hair, instead, finding her neck and tracing an invisible pattern on it.

"Why is Snape so mean?"

I look up at her, shaken out of my intense concentration. She looks up at me curiously, her eyes amused since she knows there's no chance in hell I'm answering her question. I shrug and go back to reading about Max's reply to Jeanine. He was involved in what she was working on, and since she'd gotten nowhere with me, she'd focused on him instead. I had no sympathy for him. Leadership came with a few strings attached, and he wasn't exempt.

"I feel like you might identify with him." She says, trying hard not to smile, and I give her an even dirtier look. I knew who the character was, and I was even less amused with her comparison. I wait until she turns back to her book, leaning toward me a fraction of an inch, before I untangle my hand from her hair and find her leg.

She'd skipped the leggings since we weren't going anywhere and dressed in a pair of pajama shorts. They were soft, a pale pink color, sort of ruffled on the edges, and could only be the work of Christian. I supposed I should thank him, because they were short, and every time she shifted, they rose up even higher.

I lazily touch the fabric first, then her skin. It's just as soft as I knew it would be, and I let my fingers wander down, pleased when she squirms. I wait until she turns the page, her concentration wavering with each passing second, and she loses it completely when I run them along the inside of her thigh.

I don't look at her.

I keep my attention on the tablet in front of me, the words blurring and unblurring, the responses to emails not at all interesting. The black and white letters grow fuzzy, so I turn to steal a quick glance at her, noticing her breathing is not as easy as before.

Good.

I take my time. Everly and I have nothing to do at this moment. We're dressed alike, my own boxers and t-shirt all I'd cared to throw on, though Everly's clothes are far more revealing. She moves again, letting her leg fall toward me, unconsciously opening them up as she tries to keep reading.

She's fascinating to watch.

I hate that I'm staring, waiting for her skin to turn pink as the blood rushes to it, and her lips to fight off the smile that's coming. I hate that I know she wants this, that I want this, and I'm refusing to give in all because of my own high standards.

It's laughable now, but I stick to it on principal.

My fingers creep up to the hem of her shorts, and I can feel her hold her breath in anticipation.

I immediately slide them back down, and she exhales heavily, her frustration spilling from her skin.

She glares at me, a look that's mixed with a desire for me to keep going, so I purposely don't. I do watch her, smirking every time she looks over at me, until it's time for lunch.

 

 

She finds the movies.

I find myself irritable.

If I had been reluctant to let her into my bed, I was even more reluctant to let her dig through the box and pick out something to watch. My guess was she'd pick out something awful, the worst of what was in there, and I'd be stuck for the next hour, enduring her terrible choices. But it was damn near impossible to not turn it on for her. There was a look of honest joy on her face when she discovered I had them, and to my surprise, she had no clue what they were.

For a second, I wondered what she did in Amity for fun.

The movies I had were old, scavenged from somewhere and sold in the marketplace. They weren't exactly a hot commodity; you had to have a way to play them, and you had to have some knowledge considering we weren't exactly producing movies or DVD players. I had some of this knowledge, Jason had the rest.

He had gifted me the first box, shortly after our first year here. It was an act of strange kindness, one meant to solidify our friendship. He basically stole it from the person who'd been selling it, considering he knew all about the discs and the person selling them didn't. He fixed the DVD player in less than an hour, then gave me instructions on how to hook it up to the large screen in my bedroom.

While I didn't have a ton of free time, I'd quickly gone through the movies.

The technology was sorely outdated; it would have been improved by some sort of downloadable system, but it was all I had. I watched the first few out of boredom, skipping some because the covers on the boxes looked terrible, and then worked my way through the rest. The type of movies varied; some were terribly cheesy, meant to evoke fear and terror, some claimed I'd laugh hysterically, but since I found very little to be funny, I barely smiled, and some were sappy, love stories that I'd all but thrown away.

Everly seems oblivious to those, and instead, cocks her head at me and blinks. Prettily. She has this pouty look to her that has started appearing out of nowhere, occurring now when she didn't get her way. Or when she wanted something. Maybe I'd just never noticed it before. Or maybe now was a different story. Combined with her general appearance, her constant state of undress, and the fact that I'd have no issues fingering her until she groaned my name, I was having a very hard time ignoring her.

"I'm not watching this one with you." I sound cranky, even more so as I stab the buttons on the remote, so the screen will be on the right channel. I don't want to sit and watch a movie with her, let alone the one about the dumbass who decides to bring dinosaurs back from the dead, but here I am, still in my bedroom, remote in hand.

At least it isn't the vampire one.

"Okay," She smiles in an infuriatingly pleased manner when I walk over, taking a seat on the bed beside her. My original intent had been to turn it on and leave her alone with her prehistoric world. I had all sorts of exciting things I could do, like finish up her initiation paperwork, but instead, I'd sat down out of some form of self-inflicted punishment.

The movie starts with a loud roar, the room darkening until the picture slowly brightens, flashing a title across the screen.

I could grudgingly admit this one wasn't awful. There was an interesting scientific aspect to it, and it did make me wonder if the scenario was at all plausible. For about half a second. Then I realized the rest was nothing more than an excuse for people to run and scream through a terrible theme park, while a few got eaten and the most annoying ones died first.

Everly shifts on the bed next to me, so close that it could only have been better if we were lying down. Instead, she sits with her back against the headboard of the bed, her knee touching mine. She's quiet while the movie starts – lots of shrieking and screaming as a man is drug backward into a cage where he'll promptly be eaten.

She shifts again, looking back up at me when the logo flashes across the screen.

"You don't have to stay here. I thought you were going to meet Jason."

"Later," I shrug at her, squinting in the dark. She'd overhead me talking with Jason, confirming I'd see him to sign off on the reports that were due for all of us. It felt pointless; I'd be turning them into Max and myself, but it was protocol. "He's working right now."

I sound oddly jealous. I shift my leg again, wishing the damn thing was healed already, and Everly uses the opportunity to slide closer to me.

I react by tensing up at the feel of her so near to me. It's not that I don't want her close, it's that things are quickly spiraling out of my control lately. No matter what I do, no matter the distance I try to put between us, and no matter how I try to remind her of my authority here, she is immune to it. She had crept closer, until I could barely sleep without knowing where she was, and the thought of her alone in Dauntless was unsettling.

I shove those thoughts away, and raise my arm to sling it around her. She responds immediately, squishing herself carefully against me as I simultaneously yank her close. She leans against my chest and snorts at something, her gaze glued to the people on the screen.

It certainly isn't the movie.

I reach up and find the ponytail holding her hair in place, and after a brief second, I yank it out. When her never ending hair falls down, I shove it to the side, so I can see her neck. The marks are still there, a watercolor of splotches from my mouth on her skin, and I'm pleased.

"What's so funny?" I ask, trailing my fingers down her neck. I can't deny I like her like this, against me, throat exposed. She tilts her head back, gazing up from her position.

"I was just thinking how it's weird to feel your shirt. Usually you don't have one on," She answers, and she's completely serious. I squint at her, and the urge to pull her onto my lap is strong.

"Is that so?" I ask lowly, delighted when she leans back into me. I'm starting to get the feeling that as much as she likes this little game, she also likes the two of us, just like this. Torturing me, with her tiny self. Daring to tell me she likes me better undressed. "You prefer me shirtless?"

She ignores me.

She plays my own game right back at me, big eyes focused on the screen as a child is dragged off to be mauled by tiny dinosaurs. I sympathize with the child, knowing exactly what it feels like.

"Everly…" I drawl her name out, pulling on her hair when she doesn't answer.

"I do," She finally announces cheerfully. Smugly. "But I guess you'll need to keep it on to go hang out with Jason."

I exhale loudly, because she has a point. I could have pulled it off, pulled her fully against my chest, and sat there, content with this strange little scenario. But my rational side reminds me that I make the rules here, in this faction, and in this apartment.

She finally gives up pretending she only sort of wants to sit by me. She pushes herself closer, resting against my chest fully. I keep my hands on her, aimlessly twisting her long strands, and it's not until the first person dies that I realize I've let my cheek rest against her hair.

 

 

 

Jason signs the papers quickly, then shoves them across the table for me to sign.

His work day was coming to an end, and he was off to meet Meghan. It explained why his attention was fully on her and whatever it is they'll be doing, and not at all on his paperwork. He tries to tell me about his plans, but I have little interest in anything related to Meghan, so I only half listen. He's fine with it, until he's about to leave.

He changes gears, his attention shifting from the paperwork to me.

"Hey uh… did you ask Everly yet?" He sounds casual, but the way he scratches his head tells me he's been thinking of how to ask me such a question. "To the dinner?"

I shrug, stacking the papers in order. They are simply reports he's put together, somewhat useful, that will no doubt wind up buried in the hordes of papers on Max's desk "Sure. I asked her. She's going."

He nods, staring at my work intently. "Cool, cool. I was just curious. I won't be there since some of us have to stay behind and work. But I was trying to figure out what you'd do if she had said no."

His question throws me off.

"What makes you think she'd say no?" I narrow my eyes at him. "You think she's busy? Or she's got other plans? She goes to bed at 7:00 pm, remember? She's not exactly out, partying it up elsewhere."

"For now." He answers off handedly, and I step in front of him, blocking him from leaving. "Is there something you know that I don't?"

"No." He shoves himself away from me, then looks like he's debating what he's about to say next. He swallows the words down a few times, but eventually he looks at me. "Actually, yes. I heard some people talking about her. I was wondering if maybe she'd made some new friends. Since you know, you and she are just…you know…whatever it is you are."

"What were they saying?" My defenses flare up, exasperated at someone having something to say about her. I'd noticed the stares she drew when she walked with me, the ones that hinted she didn't belong here. But she'd earned her spot. There was nothing she'd done to cheat, nothing I'd let her off the hook for, and certainly nothing had happened that shouldn't have.

Mostly.

"JASON," I hiss, looking at him with something akin to murder.

He holds his palms up at me and shakes his head. "Whoa, dude. Relax. They were just saying how hot she is and how…she'll be hotter when she isn't glued to your side. I was just wondering if you'd asked her before one of them asked her out."

I swallow and remain impassive.

It wasn't what I expected him to say at all.

You'd have to be blind not to notice her, and I certainly wasn't.

But hearing this, that she's hot, and she'll be hotter when she's away from me, doesn't sit well with me at all.

"Who was it?" I ask with all the casualness of someone planning a murder. "Someone from Four's class?"

"Nah, not them," Jason answers, and he reaches for his phone. His attention span wanes in the alluring glow of technology, but he does look up after a moment. "Just some random dudes. I think one works in the control room during the day but don't quote me on that. The other one had a really ugly shirt on if that makes you feel any better."

"I don't need to feel better," I snap. "I feel fine."

"It's not a bad thing people think she's hot. I mean, I think she's a little fancy for my taste, but you seem to enjoy her."

"You've met her once." I point out, realizing I'm not doing myself any favors here. "For your information, she's coming with me to the dinner and she's thrilled to go. Honored. As she should be."

The smile on Jason's face is patronizing.

"Well that's good. You guys will have a blast. You'll be there, she'll be there. All the Leaders will be there… observing you. And her."

I stare at him, my mind whirling, and I hate to admit he's right.

"Is she moving soon? After her training?" Jason asks curiously, and he cocks his head to the side, like his brain weighs too much. "Meghan has an extra room. Maybe she needs a roommate. I could always ask her. That might be kind of fun for Everly."

I shake my head, snapping 'no' at him as I storm past him, a dull headache starting up out of nowhere. He calls out after me, thanking me for signing the reports, and I wave over my shoulder without looking back.

I think of what he said as I walk home, gritting my teeth when I think of her living anywhere but with me.

 

 

 

She brushes her teeth next to me.

I'd gone home after meeting with Jason and the night slipped by easily. Quickly. Everly spent most of it on the couch, still in her short shorts, still reading her book. She looked a little disappointed toward the end of it, frowning when she realized she only had a few pages left. We ate a quiet dinner, I took something far milder than what Arlene gave me and headed to bed, my bad mood somewhat fading.

She followed me.

She stood next to me, her head barely coming up to my chest, brushing her teeth at the same time I did. I eyed her out of the corner of my eye, watching as she undid her hair with one hand, sliding the hair tie onto her wrist. She waited until I spit out the toothpaste before motioning for me to hand her the cup I'd been using. She smiles at me in the mirror, watching as I swish water in my mouth.

I idly wondered if this was what everyone did.

Did they get ready for bed with their significant other beside them? Was this routine for everyone else? I would have laughed in Ashley's face if she tried to leave her toothbrush here, or even stood in the bathroom with me. But this felt oddly normal; watching Everly wash her face, seeing her head back into my bedroom, her toothbrush placed next to mine.

I try not to think about that as I turn the light off and climb into bed, but I do.

For a long time.

 

 

 

We resume our training the minute my leg stops bleeding.

Which, thankfully, isn't more than a day or so.

It feels fine, the stitches already fading and the skin no longer irritated, so Everly and I return to our normal routine as quickly as possible. Max had sent an email out, informing all Leaders that Four would be out for a few days. He'd made no mention of when he'd be returning, and Four's class was given the days off rather than training with Lauren. I'm sure she was pissed about that, thinking she'd be the one to take over while he was out, but Max had made it clear Four would resume overseeing his class when he was ready and the initiates were fine on their own.

I didn't bother telling Everly.

I only tell her we're heading down to work out, and she's ready before I can find my own shoes.

On the way down to the weight room she seems cheerful, taking the steps two at a time, her hair bouncing behind her. She walks in confidently, and she should. Her score is still the highest, even with a few days off, and we're about to head into the trainers' gym, where it should be blissfully quiet. There will be no one angrily scoping her out or questioning her every move, no one trying to figure out what she's doing, and Four's class would be nowhere in sight.

I'm right.

Our first hour is blissful.

She's not a bad workout companion. She's not anyone I'd normally pick to work out with, but I've grown to appreciate her determination. She works hard, trying to keep up with my pace, and she now knows enough about the workout room that I'm not stuck right by her. I watch her follow the routine I'd set when she first got here, pleased at how far she's come. She no longer struggles with the weights, her form is spot on, and she's able to move on by herself when she's done.

I only notice an hour has passed when Jason heads in, followed by Rylan and Jeremy. The attacks from the factionless have put everyone in the same mindset; the gym slowly fills up, people trickling in, determined to keep themselves in fighting shape. Jason walks past us, heading straight to the weight bench, but he does a double take when he sees Everly walking up beside me.

"I didn't expect to see you guys here!"

He eyes Everly for a second, then motions behind him. "We got stuck with Jeremy again. Max is on a call with Jeanine, so we're supposed to keep him busy until he can return to Max's filing."

"Sounds fun." I grunt out, setting the weights down next to me. I'd been careful with what I chose to do, not wanting to disrupt the stitches with my workout. Arlene had suggested I return to my routine when I felt ready, but I doubt she meant this early.

"You guys been down here for a while?" Rylan asks, taking the seat beside me. "Hi, Everly."

"Hi Rylan," she greets him, pushing her bangs back into place. "Are you going to work out with us?"

"Sort of." Rylan eyes her then elbows me. "We came down here to kill some time. Hey, you think Max is enjoying his call? He didn't look happy when we left."

"Of course not." I answer, sitting up straight to stretch my shoulder out. Where I got shot felt just a bit more sore than I'd like, but I don't plan on letting it stop me. "She wants results. We've given her none. Max hasn't either."

"You have been busy." Rylan points out, and he shakes his head when Jason strolls over. "What's up? Are you ready to start?"

"I have a better idea." Jason announces, his eyes gleaming. "I think we should make a bet. Let's see who can do more pull ups. Between the three of us."

"You really want to start this?" I roll my eyes at him, trying to figure out his motives. Even having been shot, I'm still far stronger than he is, and he knows this won't end in his favor. "You want to look like a dumbass? Because we did this not long ago."

"I've been working out." Jason smiles, and next to me, Everly fights down a snicker by pretending to cough. "Oh, I'm sorry, Everly Coulter. Is that funny to you? You want in on this?"

"Yes." She answers quickly, and she's close enough that her arm touches mine. "You really think you're stronger than Eric?"

"I do. And my, aren't we defensive of our trainer and roommate?" Jason taunts her and this time, she snorts.

"He's way bigger than you." She tells him. "My bet would be on Eric."

"You'll be changing your tune in the next few minutes." Jason declares, glaring at a few members walking by. "Keep going. Not you. I don't care what any of you think."

I smirk at him, and I stand up and point to the bar opposite us. "Alright. Let's get this over with so Jason can admit defeat. Come on, Amity. Loser works the other's next patrol."

"Figures that's what you'd pick." Jason laughs, and Rylan follows us, not looking happy.

"You really doing this? Don't you two get bored of competing?" He asks, and his stare flicks to Everly. "Every few months, one of them bets the other some physical feat, and then Jason has to work in the kitchen for a month."

"Excuse you," Jason protests, as he pretends to be insulted. "I have never worked in the kitchens. And I told you, I've been working out. So, prepare to take on my route, Coulter and Coulter."

I'm hardly worried.

He jumps up, grabbing the bar and pulling himself up with ease. He then lowers himself down, then back up, repeating the action in succession.

"You're doing amazing. Keep it up." Rylan calls out, leaning back against one of the machines, glancing at his watch. "Did anyone notice where Jeremy went?"

"I didn't." I shake my head.

"Me, either. But who really cares?" Jason grunts out.

Rylan shrugs-not entirely interested in babysitting, and he watches Jason instead. Jason makes it to ten before his form grows sloppy. At eleven his face is bright red, and by twelve, he drops to the floor with a large grin.

"Good luck beating that." He eyes my chest as he walks over to me, and I realize he's only thrown this challenge my way because he thinks he's got this in the bag. He's sort of right. I probably shouldn't be down here, working out muscles that had recently had a bullet tear through them, but I'm not about to back down.

I keep my stare on him as I walk over to the bar, and I smile something lethal. I nod at Everly, and she takes a step closer to me, somehow understanding my silent directions. I then bend my head down, whispering in her ear, and her eyes widen. But she nods and takes a step away from me.

A second later, her hands find my shoulders, and I crouch down. She climbs up easily onto my back, her legs locking around my waist and I straighten up.

"Enjoy my route." I announce, and I look at him as I reach for the bar.

"Are you fucking serious?" Jason asks, and he crosses his arms. "Doesn't matter. You still have to do twelve."

"No problem." I snarl, and I pull myself, and Everly, up easily.

She clings on for dear life, but really, she wouldn't fall very far even if she did. The first few pull ups are easy, and my muscles protest only because of lack of use. They warm up slowly, and by the time I get to eight, Jason is visibly sweating.

"Shit." He swears, and Everly's hands tighten around my neck.

After a few nights of carrying her to bed, I knew she wasn't heavy. The resistance came more from her trying to hold on to me than anything, but I knew the visual was impressive.

"Have fun with Four." I taunt, enjoying the way he's panicking.

"Sorry, bro. Looks like you're going to be taking Eric's next route." Rylan watches with a satisfied smile on his face. "He's at eleven."

I keep going.

I could probably do this for a while. The burn in my chest is easy to ignore. The stitches aren't tight anymore, and in a way, the pain is a pleasant change from the extreme boredom and constant arousal I've been drowning in. Eventually though, my arms begin to scream at me, and I drop down after forcing myself to do one more, making sure I've surpassed him.

"Well that was pathetic." Jason weakly jokes, watching Everly untangle her arms from around me. I feel her slide down, her feet touching the floor with a thud, and she stays there for a second too long. "Fuck, fine. I thought you'd lose since you got shot. Everly should have to do them on her own, though."

"I can." She answers, and she looks up at me. "Do I have to do as many as you?"

I stare down at her, remembering her survival training, and I shake my head before Jason can answer.

"No. Just do what you can. Maybe we'll call Meghan down here. See how many she can do." I smirk over at Jason, and he rolls his eyes.

"She can't. She just got her nails done." Jason stalls.

Rylan groans, having grown bored with this competition. "Are we actually working out? Or did I change my clothes for no reason at all?"

"Will you help me?" Everly asks me, walking to stand beneath the bar.

I head over too, observing her closely. Her hair is still up, and her tank top is fitted, revealing a tiny waist instead of drowning her in fabric. I stand behind her, grasping her waist without telling her, and she jumps in surprise. "Your turn, Amity."

For a moment, I flash back to her early training days. She leans back into me as I pick her up, waiting until she's got a good grip on the bar before I let go.

"Do two. I think that's how many Christina did." Rylan calls out. He's crossed his arms over his chest, now fully reinvested in this event. "She'll come down here if I call her."

"Great." I answer, not moving from my spot. I watch as Everly does one pull up, then lowers herself down. She hangs there for a moment, before wrenching herself back up.

"Oh shit. This is hard. It's way harder than outside."

"What the fuck kind of training did you two do?" Rylan asks, his eyes on Everly. She finishes a second pull up, but the look on her face is of utter regret. "Did Four approve such a thing?"

"Oh, definitely." I answer with fake enthusiasm. I watch Everly struggle, her arms straining as she goes for a third one, and I know she's done. "He's the one who suggested it."

"Oh fuck!"

Rylan and I both look up at Everly, and he looks surprised at her outburst.

"This is…" she gasps, "so hard."

"I didn't know people from Amity could swear." Jason announces, and I smirk at him.

Everly falls from the bar, her upper body strength having given out, and I catch her before she hits the floor. She looks at me like I'm insane: her eyes are wide and her face is bright red. Her hair is falling from its ponytail, and she tries to slow her breathing while being pressed against my chest.

"Nice work." I tell her, staring right at her. "Especially the swearing."

She nods her head, swallowing a few times until I let her go and she slips down.

This time, she lands on the Four approved foam mats, safe and sound.

"Well fuck me sideways." Jason throws his hands up, accepting his defeat in a mostly good-natured manner. "I thought you'd suck. Both of you."

Everly smiles, sweet and pretty, and I realize she fits in well here.

Not only with me, but also with Jason and Rylan.

I can't explain why, but this little discovery pleases me.

 

 

 

Lauren stares at me, her eyes blinking her displeasure every time she looks my way.

She's been alternating between staring intensely, her gaze skirting over Everly as though she were inspecting her, to simpering when I didn't help her corral any of the initiates.

Everly and I had gone along with her class to the fence. Max had ordered Lauren to take Four's class since he wasn't back yet, and his demand only came after I refused. My job certainly didn't entail babysitting or covering for him, so Lauren was left in charge of both classes.

I would have thought she'd be pleased. She and Four must have felt a silent, looming pressure to produce top notch members of the faction. There was no way they didn't feel it, watching their initiates fall off the rankings one by one. Lauren was competitive, but also arrogant. Taking over Four's class, even for the day, should have left her with a smug grin, but instead, she wound up sorely outnumbered.

To make it all the more difficult, the two classes seemed to repel each other.

The task for the day was simple.

They were taken to the wall, where they would shoot long distance targets that moved. Harrison had come up with the idea, pointing out they'd need to be able to shoot more than a stationary object. In any real scenario, they wouldn't be standing there, taking their sweet time aiming to kill. Everyone had agreed, without much debate. He'd implemented it immediately, a project he worked on seemingly overnight, before presenting it to us, and right after the meeting, brought us to what he'd been working on. All leaders shot a few rounds at them, and I had agreed it was a fantastic idea.

By this point in their training, it should be easily passable.

They were the highest-ranking initiates. This should be easy for them. I viewed it as one more simple task for them to get through, almost a reprieve from the simulations.

Unfortunately, Four's class was all over the place, distracted and disorganized as usual. They didn't like Lauren lurking around and ordering them where to go, and they wisely steered clear of me. They did listen as Lauren barked out order after order, lining them up and assigning them stations to work on, but she could only do so much. There seemed to be an infinite number of initiates spilling everywhere, and she couldn't turn around fast enough to wrangle them all back.

"Are you going to help me at all?"

She'd snarled the words as she stormed by, coaxing someone back into place. I don't answer her, but she goes in the opposite direction, redirecting a few of her own initiates toward the furthest end of the line.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Everly's voice is lost in the crowd, and her shoulder touches my arm as we head to a less crowded place. I glare at her, for no real reason other than my chest hurt. Participating in Jason's little contest hadn't done me any favors. The stitches had bled after my shower, she'd noticed as she climbed into bed next to me.

Her eyes had found mine, large and pretty, and I pretended to answer something on my phone.

She was worried. Her concern was something I wasn't used to, and I found it unsettling. She'd wanted me to go back to the infirmary to have it looked at. I ignored her again and had fallen asleep in a less than pleasant mood while she chewed on her lip and her fingers had gently traced around the stitches.

"Eric?"

"Nothing but a flesh wound," I snap at her, unfortunately wound up in more ways than I cared to think about. I find myself staring at her coldly, worry all over her face when she should be shooting at things, and her big eyes taking in one last glimpse of where she knew the stitches lie beneath my uniform. I suddenly feel angry; exposed, and furious. Stupid for my own error. Ridiculous for allowing her to get so close to me that she would be concerned over my wellbeing.

She notices.

She shrugs her shoulders and resumes aiming the rifle I'd handed her.

I take note of her frame, the way her hair is pulled up, and the way the rifle is almost too large for her. There is a splotch of red on her neck, still there, still bright. An obvious reminder of myself on top of her, my mouth on her skin, her body against mine.

I take off.

I pace back and forth, not able to stand behind her anymore. She was making me lose my mind. I was behind on my work, behind on my plans, and behind on everything else except inching my way to sleeping with her. I only look to make sure she's hit a target, then I move on, walking down a bit to watch Four's class.

They are pathetic.

I snap at a few who seem to still be struggling to hit the targets. My critique is harsh, harsher when I get to Lauren's class. They are a proud bunch, their superiority dripping off their boasting, until they begin shooting.

Harrison was right.

Shooting an immobile target was cake. This was not. Despite their training, they fail miserably, especially when I walk behind them. I take in the still intact target, gleaming in the sunlight, and I shake my head. They are distracted and lazy because Four has been gone, and I could at least give him credit for keeping them focused.

I offer them no helpful advice, other than to try hitting the targets. I smirk at a few with dramatic hair, their ears glittering with colorful studs stabbed through them, trying to impress me. It doesn't work. I roll my eyes when a girl with lavender and teal hair nearly drops her rifle, and she bumps into her friend right as I stop behind her.

"Impressive." I flatly announce, watching her struggle to resume her place. Lauren shoots me a look laced with a silent threat, but her initiates are slowly sliding down the ranks with every second, one by one.

I grow bored with watching them.

I turn my head, catching sight of Everly and Karl. He'd set up right next to her, more out of the need for a place to stand, but it still annoyed me. I watch him laugh, his head turning toward Everly, his eyes bright.

He was ranked second, right behind her.

I stare at her, her face lighting up as she smiles back, then her gaze finds me. Her smile changes, to something more knowing, and I blink.

I'd woken up with my body over hers. My sleep was shit; wracked with dreams of her, plagued with the idea of what it would be like to slide inside her and listen to her groan my name. It was hard to differentiate between the dreams and what was happening between us, but it left me reeling just the same.

She'd done her best to slip out from beneath me, eventually resorting to attempting to shove me off her without any luck. I was drowsy, sleep lingering as I tried to figure out what was going on. It took me far too long to pull myself back, sinking into the sheets with a groan.

She was driving me mad.

She slept like she owned me, all over my bed, all over me.

And I wasn't doing anything to stop her.

I watch her resume shooting, the heavy rifle aimed properly, and her smile wide as she hits every target. She's well trained for this, and really, far better than anyone out here. There's nothing I could critique her on, and nothing I would correct her on.

She's perfect.

For me.

The thought comes out of nowhere, a scarily unpleasant realization that really, there's nothing about her I dislike. My reasons for being annoyed by her are trivial, meaningless little scraps of nothingness meant to remind me who she wasn't. But there's my problem. She's not far off from the person she was when she first walked into here. There was nothing wrong with that Everly, really. She just needed a push in the right direction, someone with focused training, someone who would give her a chance. And now, very soon, she'll be a member of the Dauntless faction.

Alongside me.

The thought makes me smile, my lips curling up at the idea of her in my program, still living with me. She had made absolutely no protest at either of those ideas, and seemed content to keep things the same way they were. It meant we'd continue with our routine. She'd still eat dinner with me, go to bed with me, but this time, she'd be doing more than sleeping.

I look up, realizing I've been staring at her, my mind a million miles away. I'm not exactly smiling at her, but she takes it as acknowledgement that I know she's done. I nod, turning to continue observing the class, pacing behind them.

They are starting to annoy me.

I much preferred my alone time with Everly. She was focused, and once we'd completed a task, we could move on. But out here, we're stuck, waiting for both classes to finish up. I inform a few to keep trying, their posture sloppy and their targets clean, before turning back around. I find Everly watching me, and our eyes meet again.

I hold her stare for a brief moment, before looking her up and down, pausing when my stare reaches her neck. In the cold air, the marks are bright. They stand out on her fair skin, and the message behind them is loud and clear.

She belongs with me.

I stare at her, unwilling to look away, and neither does she.

 

 

The nights are not kind to me.

Dauntless, still in conservation mode, is freezing. I find the temperature appealing. I like it cold, I like my apartment cold, and I especially like my bedroom cold.

Everly does not.

Every single night, I wake up to her as close as possible. Her arm over my chest, her skin warmed by mine. I should feel insulted, thinking perhaps the only reason she wants to sleep in here is to stay warm.

But she sighs heavily, always pushing closer, refusing to give up her attempts to make sure there's no space between us, even in her sleep. She's always close, her skin icy against mine for those first few moments, until she's warm enough to fall asleep against me.

I sigh, the weight of her familiar, as her hair falls in my face.

The cold does little to ease the burning I feel, especially when her legs tangle with mine.

 

 

 

Four makes his triumphant return on the coldest day of winter.

I'd say I was surprised at how rough he looks, but I saw him the night he got shot. I half expected worse, or maybe for him to take a few weeks off, but he pushes through. I catch a glimpse of him when I leave Everly in his company, his skin still pale and his stitches just as dark as my own. He throws me one look- a warning not to say a word to him, and I decide not to.

There's nothing to be gained at this point.

I'd had Jason pull the security tapes of the factionless, but I'd had no real time to watch them. I planned on it, because so far, our patrols were turning up absolutely nothing. I still knew he had something to do with it, but until I was certain, I would stay quiet. Not silent, just quiet.

"Good luck." I declare to Everly, my tone short, and tense and she nods. Earlier this morning, she'd slid off my chest with a slow deliberateness that made me want to scream. She'd sat on the edge of my bed, stretching her spine as she woke up, and her tank top rose up with every motion. I had the urge to kick her off the bed, my thighs tightening at the sight of her, and a low burn starting that I had no time for.

She'd jumped down, slipping into the bathroom to take a shower before me, leaving me there trying to think of everything I hated. I tried to picture her in Amity, flitting around like a moron in a flower crown, anything to repel me for a few more days. I tried to think of her with her friends, bumbling about and doing nothing of any value, but all I could focus on was how flimsy her dress would be, and how easy it would be to tear the fabric off. The image of her in Amity, presumably half naked and drenched in sunlight, was no longer something to sneer at it.

It almost made it worse.

I think of it as I stalk down the hallway from the room, hating to leave her behind.

She'd worn nothing special today, but there was little doubt Four would notice her neck.

 

 

 

And just like that, Everly goes from narcoleptic to insomniac.

I lie next to her as she struggles to fall asleep. For once, she doesn't pass out immediately. I'm the one who drifts off as she tries to get comfortable, her feet kicking my shins and her tiny self desperate for sleep. She eventually sighs heavily, lies her head on my chest, and doesn't move.

I can feel her weight atop me as I slowly feel myself pulled under, and she seeps into my dreams. I see her face clearly, her eyes bright as she smiles slowly, the rest of her coming into focus. In my dream, she climbs on top of me, the feeling of her warm and soft, and she makes eye contact with me.

She settles right onto my lap, gazing at me sweetly.

In this dream, this hazy and fuzzy place of guilty pleasure, she slides the strap of her shirt down, all while chewing on her lip. She repeats the action on the other side, and I'm slow to react. I reach for her, stopping when she pulls the shirt over her head, tossing it somewhere.

My vision grows blurry. She floats in front of me, just out of reach, her naked skin the ultimate temptation. I try to reach for her, desperate to yank her toward me, and I succeed. I pull her flush against my chest, her skin warm and absurdly soft, and my eyes open.

I swallow heavily.

I might have been dreaming, but not entirely.

She's turned over, lying with her naked back against my chest, her shirt nowhere to be found. In my sleep, I've thrown my arm over her, keeping her pressed against me, making sure she doesn't move. My fingers rest against the bare skin of her abdomen, feeling every slow inhale and exhale.

I blink a few times, wondering what the fuck is going on.

Everly wakes up slightly, and once she realizes this, she pushes herself back. Seeking something. Warmth. Comfort. The feel of our naked skin together. I realize her actions are purposeful, not at all some accident. I wait as she settles against me, eventually stilling and letting out a deep, content sigh, before I react.

"Cold, Amity?" I ask her lowly, barely awake, but alert enough to know this won't end in my favor. She has her fear landscape in the morning, and I have a day of meetings to deal with. Waking her up or turning her over, giving in this very second, to the need to feel her beneath me, isn't a smart idea right now.

I think of this as my fingers skim over her ribs, the skin softer than anything I've felt before.

She shakes her head.

"Not anymore."

I let out an irritated huff. There is no doubt she did this on purpose. I can't think of a single reason, other than to pay me back for making her wait a few days, that she'd need to take her shirt off. She wiggles slightly, her hips pressing back into me, and I trail my fingers up higher to distract myself. The action is soothing; she falls back asleep quickly, leaving me wide awake.

I don't fall back asleep until it feels like hours have passed.

 

 

 

I think about her all day.

I sit at my desk, staring blankly at the wall. Linda had given up trying to make small talk and give me my messages, and Rylan had tried three times now to get me to walk down to the mess hall for…something. Donuts, maybe. I shook my head each time, my eyes falling to my paperwork, and I could have screamed.

She had won.

Little Amity finally had the upper hand.

I couldn't take it anymore.

I could have gritted my teeth and called Ashley. Found a random girl in the bar. There was bound to be one with dark hair and a small frame who would do. I could close my eyes and warn Ashley to shut up, until this feeling was gone. But it wouldn't be her. It wouldn't be Everly, and she was who I wanted.

And as badly as I wanted her, I had planned on waiting. There was a stigma about screwing someone who was an initiate. It felt taboo, though really, who was there to give a fuck? Four, maybe. Maybe Lauren, if word got back to her. But it was an unspoken age-old rule: it was a grotesque disgrace to fuck someone who didn't even have an official place in Dauntless yet. The thought lingered over my head. Mocked me. I refused to succumb to that. I had done everything I could. Ignored her little pouty stares, ignored her nearly naked body next to mine every single night, ignored the very way she made it obvious without even fucking trying that it was her and I and no one else.

But I couldn't now.

I was slowly spiraling out of control. The thought of sleeping with her was deliciously tempting, more so than anything I'd ever wanted. Maybe more than my position here. She shouldn't be.

She was wrong in every way.

She was not mean or nasty, crafty or cruel.

She was too soft.

Too kind.

Too sweet.

Too naïve.

There was an innocence to her- the sweet looks I caught as she fell asleep, or the ones where she really smiled at me, happy I was proud of her. Her honest ambition, her niceness to everyone around her, her fucking clothes that were made for her, the fabrics too thin and oh so tearable that she had purchased with my own points because I never gave her her own card.

It made her all the more alluring.

The idea of her, her stupid pink dress crumpled on my bedroom floor, her dark hair cascading down her back, her naked skin flushing as her hips rocked against mine, it was enough that I could barely see straight.

I had been fine. In control. Willing to wait. I knew what she wanted, and after last night, there was little doubt she wasn't trying my patience. I had planned to celebrate her initiation, simply her and I, until her eyes glazed over and her thighs were shaking.

This morning I'd shoved her away. Hard. Not like a half assed push to the side of the bed but something that revealed my desperation. I'd woken up to her still in nothing but her underwear, burning against me. I found it hard to suck air into my lungs. I was so close to what I'd been dreaming about for weeks and my hands felt scorching when I moved her. I caught sight of her as she turned over, the tempting curve of her breasts just beneath the sheet. The way the dark fabric draped over the slope of her hip, dipping in and fitting to her. She'd smiled up at me despite my look of fury, her lips full as she turned to stretch lazily.

I tilt my neck to the side until it hurts, the pain a pleasant distraction from the memory of this morning.

She'd looked at me cheekily, daringly. Like couldn't I just believe her shirt wasn't on her, and I'd caught her arching her spine like a cat, like this was absolutely fine. Normal. Something that happened.

I could have ripped the sheets off the bed, and instead I'd stumbled into the bathroom, angrily turning on the water. I'd left still painfully turned on, the throbbing hardness irritated by my heavy uniform pants. It only subsided the minute I reached my office, knowing I was stuck here for the next few hours, without any sort of relief.

So, I force myself to work, automatic robotic actions moving me through my morning. I decide that when I go home, I'll remind her of the rules. Of what we'd discussed. Of what I planned to do once she passed. Easy. She'll agree, sleep with her clothes on, and everything will be fine.

I make it until just after lunch.

 

 

I find her in my bedroom.

I had left after a worthless morning in my office. I'd tried to work, tried to answer Jeanine just one more time before I saw her in person, tried to answer Jack about some trivial question. I'd turned in time sheets. Signed off on Jason's hours without looking at them. Arranged another pointless meeting. Approved an order for bullets without looking who sent it in.

I thought of nothing but Everly.

It's all the worse when my eyes land on her, tossing her jacket to the side. She looks up at me in surprise, her lips parting open, as I stalk toward her, ready to rip her apart for undressing in my bedroom.

"Eric?"

She looks up as I grab her, yanking her flush against me, and I push her hair out of her eyes. They are dark, the green deep and rich, and her expression has only the slightest hesitation. I don't give her a chance to utter a word, because I'm seconds away from losing it.

"Keep your shirt on tonight." I hiss at her, and it's over.

I kiss her roughly, biting her lower lip and yanking on her hair, just because I can. I push her back a step until she hits the bed, reaching my free hand beneath her shirt. I find the same warm skin as this morning, my fingers trailing everywhere, until I can't think straight.

"I don't appreciate what you're doing." I tell her. I remove my hand from her skin and find the hem of her shirt. My thoughts are frantic: I should tell her to fuck off, that this isn't happening until later, or that this goes no further than right this very second. The rest are a swirled mess, her training, my work, her paperwork, my job, Divergents, then simply back to her. "I have work to do and you have training to finish."

She nods her understanding. She licks her lips unconsciously, nervously, and I drop my stare to her mouth.

I can't help it. She has the upper hand again, simply by existing.

I lean into her, tilting my head forward until my nose brushes past hers. I like the way she sighs, as though she's relieved by my actions, soothed by our physical closeness. We stand there like that, my fingers digging into her back, and I realize this is it. There's no coming back from this, no pretending I don't like her. I stiffen at the thought, for the second time today, realizing she's not like the others who've warmed my bed, the tiniest voice hinting this could be different.

She picks up on this, digging her own fingers into my skin, and it hits me I had no idea her arms were around my neck.

"Eric?" She steps back away from me, the removal of her hands heavy and cold, and she tilts her head up at me.

She looks exactly like the girl who stood before me weeks ago. Long dark hair, big eyes, a hopeful expression on her face, only different clothes. The black seems wrong, too dark for her, too oppressing.

The only thing I can think to do, is take it off her so she's the Everly I know.

"Fuck it."

I reach for her waist and push her back onto the bed. She barely has a chance to sit upright before I'm over her, kneeling with one leg on each side, and my hands tug at her shirt. The fabric is just as flimsy as I imagined. I yank it up roughly, tossing it to the side without looking, because my eyes are fixed on her.

She is a sight to be seen.

I take her in, inhaling a purposely slow breath to see if any of my sanity remains. I try to think of a reason to stop this. To climb off this bed and storm back into my office. The Pit. The breakroom. Anywhere but on my bed with her.

I can think of none.

I rip my own shirt off, nearly destroying the collar in the process, and I throw it to the side. I bend down, kissing her once, briefly. She responds immediately, displeased when I pull away from her. I meet her gaze, heavy with a want we've been sharing for weeks now, and I reach for her.

I fumble with the button on her pants, enjoying the way her eyes widen as I yank them down, to the palest and softest pink fabric I've ever laid eyes on.


	14. Closer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major thanks to Bamberlee for editing this chapter! 
> 
> If you're sensitive to this sort of upcoming material, or like ten, please skip the the entire first section of this chapter. Everyone else, carry on lol.
> 
> Thanks again to everyone who has sent in such hilarious, well thought out, and amazing reviews! I hope you all have a lovely weekend!

Her eyes are wide as I unbutton her pants.

Everly stares at me as I yank them off, impatiently ripping them as they tangle at her knees. Not wanting to waste another second, I toss them to the floor next to her shirt, all while holding her stare. Her eyes have always been lovely in the light of my bedroom, but they are dark now, watching my every move intently. I smirk at her. I use my time to take in the sight of her slowly, her bare legs now stretched out in front of her, taunting me.

I've seen her mostly undressed, partially dressed, and in nothing but my t-shirts. I've seen her wrapped in only a towel, her training clothes, and one tiny little dress I can't forget about.

But not like this.

Not reclined on my bed, her pink bra and panties somehow far more arousing than anything I'd seen before. They're nearly as pale as her skin, both revealing and conservative, and the sight of her like this is impossible to turn away from.

She looks right at me as I reach for her, her eyes locking on mine, as I forget every single thought I'd had about why I shouldn't do this. The warnings from before, simple reasons that meant nothing, vanish as my fingers find her skin.

I touch her wherever I can. I've waited too long to draw this out, so my actions are greedy. Her skin is familiar; in bed at night, my fingers have traced patterns over bruises, memorizing every curve I could. With heady arrogance I realize she's never once rejected a single moment between us, and much like now- encouraged them. After all this time of touching her slyly, touching her purposefully already has me feeling drunk.

I hungrily work over her- my hands roughly moving her hair to the side, then sliding down her neck, over her shoulders, down her arms. I catch myself in the chaos of it, my actions far less refined than planned, as I let go of her.

I kiss her roughly, aware of her arms sliding up and around my neck, never worried I'd shove her away. She finds the very bottom of my hair, her fingers digging in, and she arches up to meet me. I can barely think of anything except the feel of her. She is small, covered up entirely by my body, the same Everly who's been pinned beneath me countless times.

This moment shares the same vein of that sparking, crackling tension, only intensified by her bare skin.

I push my hips into her, searching for any sort of friction, and frustration spills over with every move. I want to simultaneously speed this up, fucking her just to rid myself of this obsession that's been growing daily, but also slow this down. I can't decide, so I kiss her frantically, trying to keep her flush against me, groaning when her legs tighten around mine.

"Everly."

It slips out before I can correct myself.

It feels darkly personal, an intimacy between her and I, especially as she tilts her head to the side, giving me access to the skin I'd marked time and time again. She's submissive enough, one hand sliding up higher in my hair, as if coaxing me to continue. I certainly don't need any encouragement. I let my teeth scrape over sensitized skin, memorizing the way she shivers, along with the way she groans. I bite down harder, knowing Four has seen these marks, and spent several nights agonizing over the thought of what caused them.

So have others.

I think of Jason's words, how she'll be hotter when she isn't with me, and they spur me on. If only they could see her now: in my bed, undressed, her nails scratching down my back. The smell of her shampoo, the softness of her skin, the way she is whimpering as I suck on an area that'll be hard to cover up.

She scratches just a bit harder, the action evoking a response from both of us. I react by rising up, her touch both expected and unexpected. She reacts by letting her hands trail over my back, taking her own time as she strokes up and down, skimming over the muscles I'd spent years building.

I indulge myself again, because really, this won't be anything more than indulgence at its finest, and my mouth finds hers. My eyes close like a reflex, shutting when she parts her lips, and I stay there, drinking in every single sensation that passes between us. Her nails scrape across my shoulder blades as I deepen the kiss further, and everything in me tightens.

I was already turned on by the sight of her lying on my bed before I had even climbed on top of her, but it only worsens when her legs lock around mine.

The warm, tingling sensation had started in my thighs. It spread slowly, hotly, until I was painfully swollen, aroused in a way I had never been before. I chalked it up to weeks of this feeling, this unrelenting pressure without any relief I'd been forced to endure. I'd refrained from giving in, determined to stay in control, even now.

Even as her hands leave my hair and slide down my abdomen.

She's certainly ambitious, brave, and as impatient as I am. She fumbles with the button on my pants, and I rise up slightly, completely willing to be rid of the fabric between us. She does her best to pull them down, her hands yanking on the thick fabric with little result. By this point, my erection has become painful. The urge to strip off my boxers and shove myself between her thighs is overwhelming. I push off her completely, kicking my pants off before returning right back where I was.

To my delight, she wastes no time at all. Her hands touch my boxers, sliding down quickly, until I groan with relief as her fingers wrap around my erection. She moves her hand up and down, slowly, the angle awkward, but I don't care. She could be jerking me off upside down and I wouldn't complain. My hips pull forward on their own, thrusting into her hand, and she makes the smallest, satisfied sound.

I close my eyes, trying to focus on something other than her.

Knowing it's her hand touching me, even through the fabric of my boxers, is almost enough to make me come. As delightful as her inexperienced hand job is, this isn't what I want. I steel myself as her grip tightens, hating the way I still push myself closer, the protest to keep going rising up my spine.

Everly suddenly stills, and when I open my eyes, she's peering up at me. The view is pretty; she's pretty, her hair splayed everywhere, and her lips parted, but I pick up on the hint of uneasiness there. It's been fun teasing her, the same way she spent night after night shoving her hips into mine, but this is real. There's no pretending this didn't happen.

Not that I would.

I move my hand to her side, my fingers traveling down her ribs, down her hip, until I find the pink fabric. I slide my finger beneath the waistband, tugging them down and off her, and she lets go of me completely when she realizes what I'm doing.

Everything in me screams at the loss of contact, my brain pointing out that I was maybe a minute or so away from the sweet release I'd been waiting for, but I ignore it.

I watch her intently, smirking at the look in her eyes, giving her credit for touching me.

"Brave girl." I growl out slowly, pleased at her actions. It's clear she is nervous, but willing. She swallows when I pull her underwear down to her knees, raising up to yank them off her completely. Her cheeks flush immediately, the redness lovely as ever, as I toss them aside.

She sucks in a deep breath, now lying beneath me in nothing but one tiny scrap of fabric, and I can feel her heartrate increase. To my surprise, I reach out to touch her, my thumb brushing over her cheek, like she needs reassurance.

Then I remember that she slept without her shirt on last night, and little Amity should have zero reason to be shy, so I jerk my hand away from her. I bend down to kiss her, reminding her this is what she's been asking for, this is what she wanted. That she'd pushed me to the brink of my sanity, leaving me rock hard day after day.

After a second too long, the action too soft on my part, I break away from her. I recline back so I'm resting on my knees, taking in the view of her. I'd seen various parts of her, always appealing, peeking through when her clothes seemed to fall off. But not like this. Not nearly naked, her underwear long gone, and the sparse, dark curls between her legs inviting. The throbbing grows worse, the pulsing the only thing I can think of, and I watch her.

When she locks eyes with me, I slide my boxers off.

I get a rush of amusement when she doesn't look down. I can tell she wants to, her bravery waning as I loom over her. She's missing out, because the answer to her question is right in front of her. But she stays perfectly still, frozen in place, until I move forward. I kneel over her, pulling her up slightly and she leans into me immediately.

I easily undo the clasp of her bra, the fabric soft and silky, and very much her. She shivers as the straps slide down her arms, and then it's gone, nothing else between us, and she's pushed back into the bed. I move over her, settling as best as I can between her legs. I feel everything all at once. Her nakedness, her breasts pressed against me, a warmth that I can't explain.

It's all surreal; Everly is tiny, and she easily fits beneath me. I have the urge to stay like this, to swallow her whole, with every single breath she takes. She's already warm, but she grows hot as my hands trace up her sides. My actions are slower now, leisurely as I find the curve of her breast, the highest point my fingers have dared touch so far.

It feels illicit, downright criminal as my hand splays wide, my thumb grazing over her nipple. I have the perfect view of her, her lips parting, her eyes closing, and her skin beneath my hand. Her head falls back ever so slightly with each stroke of her skin, and I like her reaction. I like her like this, so I take my time, repeating the movement on the other side, kissing her jaw as I grind myself against her.

"Everly."

I say her name again, mumbling it as a consequence of rubbing my erection into her thigh, desperate for her to open them wider.

She wiggles beneath me. Eventually, her fingers find my hair again, pulling me closer to her, interrupting my plan. I let out a huff of exasperation, still not done with my exploration, but she has a point. I could spend some time exploring her body, memorizing every single inch of her skin, or I could get on with it.

I slide one of my hands down further, over her ribs, over her hipbone, until I find her thigh. There's not an ounce of hesitation as I keep going, touching the skin of her inner thigh lightly, and she whimpers. Her legs tighten in an attempt to push my hand where she wants it, where I've been threatening to touch her all week. I smirk against her when she gasps, nothing eloquent or sophisticated, simply a groan when I find her already wet.

"Ohh."

Had I known she'd be this receptive, this turned on, slick as my fingers make a lazy circle around her clit, perhaps I wouldn't have waited. It could have been better for the both of us. She twists slightly, her hips pushing up into my hand, and I want to snarl that I know the feeling. The burn of this, the same want, the same pulsing need, exactly the same as when I'd woken up to her hand down my boxers. Luckily for her, I'm generous. I give her what she wants. She's easily manipulated by my fingers. It doesn't take long for me to figure out what she likes, and it's not long before she's worked up enough that my finger slips into her. I let my teeth bite at her fair skin as I insert a second finger, and she gasps out my name at the feeling.

"Eric."

I smirk at her, liking the way it sounds. She's said it a few times, but not like this.

"Yes?" I push up, pleased at the way she looks desperate and frantic, pleased at the way it's hard for her to look at me. Maybe it's because I curl my fingers into her, stroking her with enough pressure that her eyes shut. I knew exactly what I was doing, and I particularly like how she responded. I had long ago learned that this would be better for me if she were wet, or even came before I pushed inside her. But I have to admit there's something pleasant about watching her trying to hold it together, her jaw clenching down as I touch her.

"You like this?" I ask, and my voice comes out low. Dark. Rough. Like I'm baiting her to run just a bit faster, or a little further. Climb just a little higher. She nods, her hips jerking on their own, and I can tell she's close.

I move my hand away from her and she lets out a whine of disapproval.

"Should I make this easy for you?" I grin at her, the way her eyes have narrowed and she looks ready to snap. I've felt like this for long enough, and she deserves the same. I sit us both up, fully ready to put her where I want her, ready to finally give in. "Or not?"

She moves before I can. She grabs me, knocking me off balance and back onto my own bed. She's strong for someone so small, her arms on my shoulders as she pushes me into my own headboard. I raise an eyebrow at her when I hit the wood, and she meets my amused stare when I grasp onto her hair.

"Nothing with you is easy," she answers, and brave little Everly rises up on her knees. She moves forward, straddling me, but this time, there is nothing between us. Just her and I. Her skin on mine. Her weight balanced atop my legs. I let her fumble for a moment, but she's close, so close, that I can't help but thrust up between her legs.

She has other ideas. She tries to keep up with my assault on her skin, leaning in and pressing her lips to my throat. The feel of her mouth there sends a jolt through my nerves, especially when her nails claw at my thigh.

"Fuck."

I snarl at her, and she moves her hands to behind my head. The action is meant to connect us, and I react violently. I grab her hips, my fingers digging in harder than necessary, and I jerk her forward. I fight down the groan threatening to escape, my dick twitching, as she hovers right above me. I want to slam her down onto me, hold her in place, and not stop until morning.

She must feel the same way. She stays there for a single second, before she lowers herself down onto me, her eyes locked on mine.

I almost lose it.

It's not what I was expecting at all. I force myself to stay still, the feeling of her all around me. She is tighter than expected, warm and wet and I have to swallow back the desire to simply fuck her until I come.

She sighs, her breath already uneven.

I do give in just a bit; I push myself fully inside her, giving her a second to adjust, and I bask in the smugness of how she feels. She moves slightly, a minute adjustment really, but the sensation is even better simply because it's her.

Neither of us speaks; Everly is still, her fingers digging into my skin, a small whimper escaping her throat as my hips rock against hers. I ease into it, waiting until she's ready, before I increase the pace. She reacts to it by leaning into me, one of my hands finding the small of her back, as I lose myself in the feeling.

This wasn't Ashley.

This wasn't any of the nameless blondes who'd kept me busy when I'd grown bored. This wasn't even my preferred position. I'd never let anyone on me like this, never let any of them even touch me except for how I wanted. I could have easily pushed her onto her knees, or made sure she stayed facing away from me, but there's an appeal to this, something darkly sweet about the way she is on my lap, her body against mine.

She eventually moves to meet my thrusts, and each one is nothing but a wave of intense pleasure. She's not exactly riding me, and she's clinging onto me a little too much, but I can tell it feels good for her. She keeps us together, her grip tight, and I have to pull back when I realize I'm choking down air like I've been running laps for hours.

I keep going, urging her on as I watch her. Every so often she leans back from me. Her dark hair tumbles down her back, and her chest is flushed. She looks like nothing I've ever seen before. Her eyes are heavy with lust, her lips have parted open, her body moves forward. After a few more thrusts, she bites her lip to stifle the groan threatening to escape and I reach for her automatically, shoving her bangs out of her face, to look right at her.

I suddenly think of him.

The one in Amity, begging her to return.

I wonder if this was how she'd slept with him. Did she climb on his lap? Did she lower herself onto him, groaning at the feeling of him. The thought makes me angry, oddly furious, and I pull her closer to me. I mumble her name, half swearing it, half gasping it, as I kiss her. I kiss her again and again, until I'm consumed by all of it. The feel of her, the way her hips crash into mine, seeking out more. I hiss at her lips, her pace quickening, and I can feel her tensing up.

I react immediately. I touch everywhere I can. Her arms, her shoulders, eventually sliding over her breasts, squeezing as she arches against me. I like the way she looks as she pushes toward me, and I realize I won't last much longer.

Neither will she.

"Eric." She gasps out my name, looking at me pleadingly. I stare back at her, unable to form a coherent thought. I'm buried deep inside her, our skin sweaty and our limbs tangled. She looks like she could lose it at any moment, and I'm right behind her.

This can't be it.

This can't be how it happens.

I had planned to spend the night like this, drawing everything out until neither of us could stand it. I had planned to simply fuck her, a biological action we'd both benefit from. It could have become routine, maybe something that happened when we both grew bored, both of us easily in reach of the other.

But that thought is gone now. I feel nothing but a wave of extreme greediness toward her, and I realize I have no intention of letting her go. Maybe I never did, but this only solidifies everything I'd done between us. But before I can celebrate my superior thinking, I feel myself quickly approaching the point of no return, and I clench my jaw and silently swear.

"Don't stop." I snarl the words at her, losing it with every single second. She claws at me as my heart rate increases and my mind goes blank. I can't think a single coherent thought, except for how good this feels. How good she feels. How it's her, on top of me, making all sorts of soft sounds.

In return, her name is the only thing I can say, Everly, groaned over and over against her.

"Eric." She gasps my name after I slam into her, and that's all I need to hear. My hands tighten in her hair, yanking it hard, and I bite down as my head tilts back. I stay like that for a fleeting second, enjoying every hot, blissful second, before my eyes fly open. She looks wild and beautiful, lost in this hazy bliss. I crash my mouth into her, this feeling pushing me over the edge completely.

"I'm…I…" I can't think. All I know is her name, and it's the last thing I gasp. "Everly."

I'm overcome by the urge to feel her come on my dick. I slip my fingers between her legs, my intent purely to see her face when this happens. I can feel myself sliding in and out of her, the slick wetness between us, and I make sure I find her clit again. I want her to come, and I want her to come with me inside her, claiming every inch of her. Knowing this was just her and I, knowing what she looks like, her head falling back, eyes shut, her lips raw.

I can barely focus by this point, but it doesn't matter.

My touch is enough to push her over the edge. I can feel the exact moment her orgasm starts. She arches against me, her pace suddenly frantic and sloppy, as she tightens around my length. The feeling is glorious. Far more pleasurable than anything I could have hoped for. Better than what I had imagined. Every single moment squeezes me, drawing everything out of me, and it's not long before I feel myself follow right after her.

I tense up, the powerful release overtaking me as I come inside her. My mind goes blissfully blank. For a few wonderful moments, everything ceases to exist except her and I. I keep thrusting, cock pulsing with every spurt, and I open my eyes to her neck. I've dropped my head down, her name groaned one more time, and she whimpers quietly.

Everything slowly comes back into focus. Everly is warm and boneless, still on top of me, quiet as her orgasm subsides. I kiss her drunkenly, high off the feeling of what just happened, my actions slow and heavy. I kiss her throat, the marks still red and vibrant, her neck, where my bite marks are faint, and her cheek. She's trying hard to calm down, her legs shaky and her heartbeat racing, and I press one hand to the back of her hair.

I have the urge to do it again. To coax her back into the same state of arousal, just like before. To feel her all over again. Slower. More drawn out. Over and over. All night.

My body has other ideas. Out of instinct, I pull her back and off me, adjusting her so she's on my chest. She hasn't said anything or uttered a single word, so I lie us back down. It's with great reluctance that I slide out of her, and she shivers against me, once again cold.

My fingers sink into her hair further, my other hand finding her lower back. I pull her close against me, little Amity's heart still racing as she collapses into my chest. I stay still until it slows down, and I can feel her drifting off. I'd had every intention of waking her up, but instead I close my eyes along with her.

I sigh her name, before falling asleep.

 

 

 

I wake up to her over me.

We'd slept through most of the night, and my eyes are heavy as I pry them open. I'm rewarded with the sight of her leaning in, her hair tickling my chest and her stare right on me. For a second, I think I'm dreaming, then her lips touch mine. Sweetly. Softly.

I force my eyes open completely, and there she is, still above me.

"What are you…" I mumble at her, her lips leaving and touching mine a few more times before she slides over my hips, far more confident than before. She straddles me, one leg on each side, and my body reacts immediately. I'm half hard by the time I sit up, the ache is back by the time I realize what she's doing.

Everly settles there, her eyes dark and sleepy, and her hands on my thighs. Her nails scrape the skin as she leans back, teasing me as the weight of her shifts.

I should knock her off me and push her back into the mattress for this second stunt of the night, but I can appreciate the gesture. It's clear she felt the same way I did, wanting to continue when we'd fallen asleep. I lie there, admiring the view of her completely naked, as she reaches between her legs. She guides me back inside her, just as wet as before, and I can't stop myself from groaning.

Even in the low lighting, she's perfect. She's got absolutely nothing on, and eventually, the air becomes too cold. She reaches for me, her fingers prying me to sit up, and I give in to her. I remind myself that this won't become a habit. Giving in, or sleeping with her. My arms encircle Everly immediately, crushing her against me as she moves slowly, torturously.

I lose track of time. There is no franticness to this round; I kiss her slowly, sleepily, once again indulging in every second. I find myself holding onto her, allowing her to experience a pace more like what she's used to, until it becomes too much all over again. She comes on top of me for the second time, my name gasped into my neck, the sound echoing in my ears over and over.

She stays there until I've come again, her cheek against mine, and one of her hands clinging to my bicep. I turn, this time- truly drunk on lust, and my nose touches hers. I sigh her name, pulling her back into me, and she's the only thing I think about as I fall back asleep.

 

 

 

 

I wake up to my phone vibrating.

My brain is slow to wake up, and even slower to process what's going on. I loudly swear when it hits me I've slept through my alarm, and I swear again when I feel Everly's naked body pressed against mine.

The night comes rushing back all at once.

I blink the drowsiness away as I think of her, on top of me, sighing my name over and over. I think of her groaning, the soft noises of us together, the way she'd gotten to me, leaving me dizzied and under some sort of spell. I swallow heavily, thinking of her hips pushing into mine, and the way she looked as she came undone.

The first time.

The second time.

Fuck.

I slide out from beneath her, for once careful not to wake her. She's warm and soft, buried beneath my sheets and comforter so only her dark hair is visible. I ignore the fact that beneath my sheets is her naked body, and I look past her, over at the wall. She does stir slightly, but she doesn't wake up.

I head to the shower immediately, checking my phone as I walk.

My phone is blinking with twenty-eight messages. I scan them, growing irritable when I can't come up with a great excuse. There is no doubt Jason and Rylan will be suspicious of my lack of communication, but I don't have time to think of a good reason for why I'm not present at my own meeting. I turn the shower on and stand there, staring at myself in the mirror while I wait. I don't know what I'm expecting to see, so I step in, trying to focus. I wash my hair quickly, then my face, before I reach for the shower gel.

It suddenly hits me, right smack in the face, this is the first warm shower I've taken in weeks.

 

 

 

 

I dress in a hurry.

My phone vibrates as I tie my boots, and I ignore Rylan's third call since I got out of the shower.

I am screwed.

The clock beside my bed tells me it is almost ten. I had absolutely nothing to say to him. I was late. Anything I told him would be suspicious, especially since he'd seen me storm out of the office yesterday with a nasty look on my face. I head into the bathroom to brush my teeth, and I answer his fourth call by barking 'what'.

"Dude, you're late and we're waiting for you. Did you finally let Everly fuck your brains out and forget you scheduled this meeting? You better hurry up because Max is getting antsy."

I straighten up immediately.

His words are meant to be joking. I can tell by his tone he's not really in any hurry, and he's out of earshot from anyone who'd overhear him. Max wasn't likely to be antsy, because this meant he had time to sit and do nothing Still, the words are like ice water dumped over my head. I stay silent, tying my laces painfully tight.

"Eric? You there?" Rylan's voice sounds tiny, far away and I shake my head.

"I'll be there in ten minutes." I answer flatly, and I hang up before he can me ask where I am. I run my hands through my hair in frustration, and I walk back into the bedroom, chewing on the inside of my cheek. My stare immediately finds my bed like some terrible new habit, and just like I expected, there she is.

Of course, she's awake.

She's still in my bed, still under my covers. I stare at Everly, images of her last night floating behind my eyes, and the urge to climb back into bed is strong. It would be much more appealing to spend the morning with her, beneath my sheets, instead of sitting through this meeting I scheduled. But I can't, and the fact that I want to is an issue.

I slept with her last night, twice to be exact, and that should have been enough. I'd gotten what I wanted; the unbearable ache should have vanished by now, and the urge to sleep with her again should be gone. Sure, I'd enjoyed it. Everly had been a willing and generous participant. I'd go so far as to say I enjoyed her innocence, the sweetness of her seeping through every time her lips touched mine.

So, it doesn't make sense that I'm standing here, fighting the urge to do it all over again.

She looks up at me, waiting, her gaze heavy with anticipation. I know she's expecting me to say something. Maybe that last night was fine, maybe that it was awful, maybe kick her out and tell her I'll see her for her landscape.

"I have meetings all day today. I won't see you for lunch."

What comes out of my mouth is sheer brilliance. I sound like an asshole, indifferent and cold, not at all what she's expecting considering I'd blurted out her name countless times last night. I'd meant to tell her to sit tight; that she was free to go back to bed or do whatever she pleased, that I'd be home later. I'd never actually woken up to the same person I'd slept with, and seeing her here, still naked, was throwing me off.

"Okay." She nods her head in understanding, but her stare falls to the sheets.

I watch as her shoulders seem to cave in, and I regret saying anything. It might have been better had I stormed past her. I stare at her, an odd feeling churning in my stomach, and I bite down hard enough to taste blood. I have the intent to remedy this, but this is beyond me handing her a plate of chocolate cake.

Sleeping together had shifted things even more.

As much as I had tried to keep her away, even last night, I'd let her very close to me. Uncomfortably close. It felt shameful to admit I hadn't exactly fucked her like I'd planned; I'd kissed her, like someone who truly cared about her. I'd let her stay pressed against me, on top of me, her hands working to keep us connected. I'd said her name, her real name, blurted out without thinking, overcome with how good it felt.

How different it was.

And now, seeing her frown at my sheets, makes my insides twist up sharply.

I walk over to her.

She's still looking at the bed when I reach for her, tilting her head up to look at me.

Everly looks right at me, her eyes perfectly clear. She keeps her stare neutral, but I can tell my expression isn't the one she's hoping to see. I'm sure anyone else would have stayed in bed with her, waking her up in an entirely different manner. But I am not someone else. I'm someone who just fucked my initiate, and to make it even better, I liked it.

Really liked it.

And now I am late for work, with the very people who will assume she's why I'm late.

Without thinking, I brush her hair out of her eyes, and when I can see her, I feel a flash of relief. She still looks like Everly. There is nothing arrogant or furious in her stare. Just her green eyes, waiting for me to say something.

I move without thinking. I cup her face with both my hands, the action so unlike me, and unclench my jaw.

"I'll see you for dinner."

It sounds like a promise, one heavy with intent. Slowly, I bend in close to her, until my lips brush against hers. The act of pulling her close is automatic, as is the urge to keep going.

But I can't. I pull back abruptly as my phone vibrates, and I take one final look at her. She looks far less apprehensive now, her head nodding as her lips turn up in the barest of smiles.

I want to remember her like this: wide eyes, messed up hair, and naked skin.

I stomp out of the room, knowing the next few hours will be painful.

 

 

 

Rylan's eyes are narrowed in suspicion.

He watches me walk in, reclined back in his chair so far it threatens to tip over, and his arms are crossed over his chest. He smiles smugly, gloating that he's here before me, and I expect nothing less.

"Well, well, well. Look who decided to show up." He announces loudly, though he's the only one in the room.

I ignore his taunting. I shake my head at him, and flop down into the first available chair.

"Sorry." I flash him one very fake smile and pull out my phone. "I thought it was later."

"Did you now?"

He looks at me with a shit eating grin, flinging himself forward so he's sitting properly. "Max went to get Jeremy. Jason will be right back. He needed a pen. We started to talk about the security footage you pulled right before you answered your phone. We saw a few interesting things. Max wanted you here when we discussed them."

"Great." I answer flatly, knowing this is right up my alley. If what I'd assumed was correct, we'd find Four heading out of Dauntless to the factionless. Armed. Maybe with our own guns. Maybe intending to arm them. I'd meant to pull the security log for the armory but dealing with Brittney gave me a headache I didn't want to deal with. "Are they almost back? Why is no one here?" Why did you call me six hundred times to come sit here by myself?"

"What's wrong with you?" Rylan asks curiously. "You're normally in a shitty mood, but this one takes the cake? Is it Everly? Did she piss you off?"

"No," I answer quickly, too quickly, and his head cocks to the side.

"Sooo…she made you happy?" He raises an eyebrow and shifts in his seat. "Really?"

"Those are my only two options?" I snap, and the defensiveness feels hot. "I'm fine. Everly's…busy. Everything's good. She probably went back to bed."

"Back to bed?"

I stare at him, recognizing my error immediately. I look to the side of him, the sensation of drowning in my own stupidity suddenly very real. "She's tired. She was up late."

"Doing what?" He asks immediately, suddenly very focused on the topic at hand. "I heard she's going with you to the dinner. Did you keep her up late because you were asking her?"

"I asked her the other day." I force myself to sound disinterested, hoping he'll grow bored and quit prying. I toy with my phone, opening the contact list for no reason. "She's happy to go."

"Of course, she is." Rylan eyes me intently and then he smiles widely. A grin so large it can only mean he's about to tell me something I don't want to hear. "You slept with her, didn't you?"

"What?" I look up from my phone slowly. "Did I sleep with her? Are you serious?"

"You don't have to hide it from me. It's all over your face." Rylan answers, and he smirks knowingly at me. "You're late. You forgot about a meeting you scheduled. You didn't even blink when I said Jason forgot a pen because we all know he's never taken notes. Ever. You know she went back to bed and that she was up all night, and there's only one reason why your formerly always-sleeping initiate was up late."

"She lives with me." I answer through gritted teeth, and I look him directly in the eye. "She has stuff to do."

He smirks even wider.

"Rylan, so help me—"

"Relax. She likes you and you clearly like her." He pauses, and he looks at me triumphantly. "We knew it was going to happen. You let her climb onto you in front of higher ranking members. It was only a matter of time before she was climbing something else."

"RYLAN."

I hiss his name, fighting down the urge to snap his neck. I can already feel myself tensing up despite the fact he's one of my best friends. It's not like he's going to announce it to the faction, but him knowing gives me an underlying feeling of something I can't quite put my finger on. Something that makes me want to keep this quiet.

"Whoa man. How was it? Wild?" Jason plops down in the seat across from me, setting his feet on the table. Pen-less. "I slept with a girl from Amity once. She almost ripped my balls off."

"What the fuck?" Rylan stares at him, and he looks horrified. "She almost what? And what happened to your pen?"

"I couldn't find one." Jason shrugs and I resist the urge to tell him to get the fuck out. Or stand up and leave. Stab himself with his nonexistent pen. Tell Max to have Four sent off to live somewhere else and pin the attack on him. "They're all very sexually open. This chick was adventurous. Took me a few days to recover. That how Everly was? Were you not going to tell us? Is that why you're so crabby? Because we figured out your dirty little secret?"

The look on his face, the same knowing expression Rylan shares, tells me I have no options here. I can tell them, or I can deny it, and when they do find out, it'll make it look like I was hiding it. Like I was a coward. Ashamed of what I'd done. They're both awful choices. I push down the thoughts of Everly being an initiate, my initiate, and I pull my shoulders back.

"Fine. Alright, fine. I slept with her. She was fine. She was very…" I pause, not really wanting to add some sort of descriptive word to it. I was still pretending I was irritated at myself for giving in to her. I'd spent weeks ignoring the fact that not only had I let her sleep in my bed night after night, but I'd let her lie against me, completely absorbed in our own world.

"Sweet?" Rylan offers up a suggestion to fill my hesitation. His words rip me back to the meeting room and I shrug, unwilling to answer.

"Sweet." Jason repeats amused as he thinks hard about what Rylan just said. "I never thought I'd see the day when Eric described having sex with someone as sweet."

"I didn't," I bark, and I can tell by the way he averts his stare that he's picked up on my annoyance. For once he's smart enough to know when to stop and he doesn't say anything else. "Just drop it. It was fine. It happened." I mutter. Both of them nod, and Rylan suddenly looks serious.

"You know we won't say anything," he reassures me, and for once I wonder how on Earth he survived in Erudite for so long. I hope he's smart enough to follow through. If he had decided to open his mouth about what had transpired between Everly and I, I'd have no choice but to kindly remind him why things needed to stay between her and I.

There's a lot more on the line than just myself here.

But I can't think about that. Not right now.

"I won't say anything. Just let me know when you're ready to propose. I want to be there." Jason answers, cheerfully pulling his phone out. "Tell Everly congrats, by the way."

I stare him down, and Rylan snickers, coughing when I turn to glare at him.

"Hey, I think it's great for you. I bet your dad would like her."

I'm done.

The mention of Daniel pushes me over the edge.

"Great." I shove my chair back and walk out of the room before either of them can utter another word. I have every single intention to head down and get a drink. To drink until I can't see straight. Until going home to Everly doesn't seem like such a wonderful option. I could go to Clyde's. The Pit. The kitchens. Somewhere. Anywhere. Doesn't matter.

But it really doesn't matter, because I turn the corner to find Max and Jeanine standing there.

 

 

 

By three, I realize there's no way I'm making it to dinner tonight.

I hate that I feel slimy about that fact, thinking I shouldn't have told Everly I'd be back.

I had no clue where Everly had gone or what she was doing. During the late morning, I was alerted by Rylan that she was having lunch with Christina, but he didn't know much more than that. All day, he'd been giving me these very pleased looks. Silently reassuring me that sleeping with the girl I'd been training was just fine. He smiled when Linda interrupted to tell me I had a visitor, and he frowned in disappointment when he realized it was only Quinten and not Everly.

I returned to the table, to his scowl, and I had the urge to rip my own eyeballs out.

Jason, finally having found a pen, had drawn flowers all over his paper. Shitty flowers. Barely recognizable flowers, but I knew what they were. Max had eyed them curiously, the doodles clashing with the outline of how many deadly weapons we had. I nearly threw my coffee in his face when he wrote an E below one flower, then another E below another one.

This wasn't going to go well.

There was a reason I kept to myself. A reason I kept my personal life private. Him and Jason knowing she lived with me was risky enough, but knowing I'd slept with her, days before she was officially a member here, well that was just flat out moronic. Rylan might have been able to keep quiet, but he wasn't the issue. Just like before, if he knew, Christina knew. If Christina knew, the whole fucking world would know. I was not at all prepared to explain to everyone that it didn't affect her rankings at all. Her scores were almost done, she'd ranked first this entire time, and that short of not bothering to show up to her fear landscape- she'd still become an official member here.

"Eric, your thoughts please?"

Jeanine looks at me, her smile patient. She looks like she normally does, cordial and proper, but I know there's anger bubbling beneath the surface of her skin. She may not have said Divergent out loud yet- for we were still talking about fucking factional borders and riots- but I knew she was thinking about it. How I hadn't done anything for her lately. How I'd been ignoring her. Focusing on other things. Her spine was rigid, and her foot shook oh so slightly. It all spoke volumes. I hadn't expected to see her here today, but then again, nothing else was going the way I'd expected it to.

I stare at her with a bored expression, and I shrug just enough to display my lack of interest.

"It sounds fine to me."

"Well…" she presses her lips together in displeasure. "Great, then. It sounds like we've got this little…rioting problem under control."

Her stares stabs into me, and I brush it off.

I flip the page over, focusing on her list of serums. The ones used in each faction. The new ones she'd like to use. She offhandedly mentions a few have gone missing, blaming improper waste handling, before insisting we add a few more patrols through her section of Erudite for some reason. She juts her chin out when Jason looks at her curiously, then coldly tells him she's noticed an increase of suspicious activity around her labs.

Her paranoia is well earned.

Jason rolls his eyes when she isn't looking, but he agrees so she'll shut up. She changes the subject to discussing the side effects of the newer serums, and I eye the list while Jason doodles what looks a lopsided, black heart.

I don't say another word the entire meeting.

 

 

 

At five, Rylan texts me, despite sitting across from me.

Jeanine is still talking, despite the knowledge that her driver is waiting for her to wrap this up, and Max having clearly grown impatient with her never ending discussion on every thought she's ever had. Placid with her trapped audience, she goes on and on about Divergence and its effect on the factions, looking at me pointedly.

While I agree, I just can't bring myself to care after sitting here for hours. This meeting isn't anything new, it's just a push to get us all on board before the dinner. To refocus back on what she wanted. She'd waited for me to finish up this training, and now, she was ready for me to return to helping her.

I tune her out.

I know she'll be done soon. I'd nodded my head a few times, circled a few names, and feigned all the interest I had. Offered up a few thoughts about her selective requirements for Divergence. But by five thirty I was done, having accomplished absolutely nothing today.

Rylan nudges me, clearing his throat when Jeanine looks at him, and I check my phone.

His message tells me Everly has gone home, and there is little doubt she'd told her friends what had happened.

 

 

 

Max follows me home.

I wanted to point out he lived nowhere near me, but he stuck to my side after Jeanine had finally left, quickly running through the list of shit she'd left for us to do. We'd quickly divided it up, and I'd verbally agreed to make some progress on it. I'd have some free time now that the training was coming to an end, and Everly's Leadership Training would give me some flexibility. The pace was far easier than initiation, and a lot of it would be spent in the office. She could work on her own, and I could return to my actual job.

"Is Everly excited for tomorrow?"

Max asks so loudly that I half expect someone to open their door and see who's yelling. I turn and sneer at his face, his expression gleeful.

"Thrilled."

"As she should be. This dinner is a big event. It's a great time to introduce her." Max answers, ignoring my desire for him to stop talking. "It's an important night."

I say nothing. I'd thought about her off and on all day, debating my own reaction to sleeping with her. I was surprised to discover I wanted to see her. To me, there was nothing shameful in sleeping with her, but I wanted to make sure it didn't affect her. My reputation might have been on the line, but I had my place here. If people thought she'd fucked her way through the rankings, she'd never live it down. Her reputation would be tarnished before she'd even started.

To top it off, I wanted her again.

Just as badly as before.

Maybe worse.

We turn the corner, and he nods at a few members passing by. "I know everyone is looking forward to meeting her. All things considered."

"I'm sure." I answer dully, having no clue what the fuck he's talking about. I was bringing her just like he'd told me to, and I'm sure it would be fine. She was polite. Quiet. She would be happy to eat her dinner, and since it was obvious she'd never left Amity, I'm sure she'd die of excitement upon visiting Erudite. There was no doubt she'd be the perfect person to bring. A little naïve, but that was nothing awful.

I was a little concerned what she'd show up in.

She'd bought…something to wear, something I hadn't seen except for the alert on my account that the purchase had been made. There was little doubt someone had helped her pick it out, and if it wasn't appropriate, she'd just have to change before we left. The rest of the night would go smoothly. Dinner, drinks. Dessert that she'd like. We'd talk with a few Leaders; she'd see Johanna, be introduced to Andrew and Marcus, and I'd do my best to minimize her time with Jeanine. I saw not a single issue that would arise.

I had no clue why this was such an event to him.

"And she's ready to start your program?"

Max looks at me as we reach my hallway, and I nod.

"She is. I think she'll do great." It's the most I've said to him, and my words are true. I have no doubt Everly will do just fine. She's not cut out for working on the fence or working endless patrol shifts. She needs something more. Something with meaning. This position was well earned, and it made it all the more fitting that she'd be working with me.

"Her training went well." He remarks casually. Too casually. "You weren't too keen on taking her on, and look at you now. Trainer of the highest ranked initiate of all the classes."

I grunt in response.

It was true.

I hadn't wanted to train her the first second I saw her. She'd had everything working against her, and it had seemed like a monumental waste of time to train someone who'd ultimately fail. To my surprise, I couldn't have been more wrong. She'd far surpassed my expectations, and while I was proud of the fact that she was first, there was still the underlying issue that I liked having her around. Her training had put her in my life, and now I was the one keeping her in it.

"You two are quite the pair."

Max keeps talking, even as I open my door, even as I walk through it. He follows me in, uninvited, and I stomp through, hating the way he hasn't left. I come to a dead stop when I see Everly standing there, a look of surprise on her face.

She looks different with her clothes on.

Far too covered up, far too hidden beneath the dark fabric.

"Everly!" Max greets her loudly, and she and I lock eyes. She looks like a deer in headlights, more so when he keeps talking. "We were just talking about you."

Her expression changes to pure horror. I can only imagine she's thinking I told him I slept with her. She visibly pales, and her lips part open. I smirk at her, because I'd spent my entire day feeling like she looked, and now it was her turn to experience it.

"Oh, hopefully it was good." She answers. She sounds nervous, her voice high and stressed. I can see the panic on her face, waiting for Max to confirm her thoughts.

"Very good," Max declares. "Eric here is really proud of you." He claps me on the shoulder, looking at me with a slick grin. "You two have made quite the team."

Everly nods wordlessly, still white as a ghost, still frozen in place. She looks at me, and I shrug slightly. There's nothing I can say to save her, let alone make him stop talking. It feels strange to hear him say I'm proud of her, the words sounding entirely different coming from him.

"Thank you," she answers, taking a slow step away from him. He turns to me, and he changes gears entirely.

"Make sure you send Jeanine her patrols she wants. Let's placate her for a while. We throw some attention her way, and things will calm down."

I nod in agreement.

"Send Peter on one. Have what's his name do a few. Rylan can take over Saturday's. Just make sure she sees a visible presence, so she can't say a single thing about it." He keeps talking, his mind back on our meeting.

I watch Everly out of the corner of my eye. She uses this opportunity to try to get away. She slowly nears the end of the living room, just as Max decides he's done. He says goodbye loudly, leaving quickly with a slam of my door, and I turn. I cross the living room in an instant. I catch Everly from behind, yanking her back a step toward me.

She looks up immediately, her expression still horrified.

If only she knew what I'd endured today.

"Don't worry. We were talking about your leadership training. Not what happened last night." I find myself smiling at her panic, because really, she got off easy. If she'd told Christina, that was still nothing compared to Jason and Rylan. I tighten my grip slightly as she pulls back, attempting to flee.

"I didn't think that's what you and Max were talking about," She answers. She stops trying to slip away and turns to face me. She still barely comes up to my chest, and I find it surprising for some reason. She eyes me intently, pretending to be insulted that I knew what she was thinking. "Why would you even think that?"

I raise my eyebrow at her. "I could see it on your face."

"You could not," she protests. She meets my stare, and my lips curl up. I like how she looks right now, her big eyes focused on me, and her body primed toward mine. I think of her last night, my fingers between her legs, and I smirk.

"I've seen a lot of different faces from you lately." I pause, waiting for her reaction. She tries to stay still, but she bites her lip. "My favorite might be the one you made when you were on top of me. I think I'd like to see it again."

She tries to play it cool.

She shrugs, looking up at me from beneath her bangs.

"I don't know, you said you'd be back for dinner…" she points out, pretending she has the upper hand here. Her words hit an already fried nerve. I pull her against me, unwilling to stand here any longer. She crashes into me, her soft shirt pressed up against the rough fabric of my jacket as I bend down.

I kiss her.

I had meant to do nothing and everything of the sort.

I tug on her hair, the strands soft around my fingers, and I begin to drag her along with me, fully prepared to throw her onto my bed. It was clear this wasn't over yet; my hands slip under her shirt, finding the bare skin I wanted to touch, sliding over her ribs. She reacts immediately, pressing closer to me, her own hands looping around my neck.

"I'll have something else for dinner," I hiss the words into her ear, letting my nose nudge her ear. "So, take off your pants."

Everly smiles against me, and her relief is palpable as she sinks into me.

I don't have the right words to tell her I missed her, because really, did I miss her? Did I dislike that I didn't spend the day with her, against her, or inside her? Did I feel antsy? Distracted and annoyed that I was stuck in a meeting while she was here?

I ignore the answer I have in my head.

I simply pick her up, enjoying the way her fingers tighten as I carry her into my bedroom. I forget about Jason and Rylan, I forget about Christina knowing anything, and I forget about Max talking nonsense.

I toss her onto the bed, smirk still in place, and seconds later, I reach for her pants.


	15. Fear Landscapes and Marriage Licenses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to Bamberlee for editing this chapter! Her week was just as crazy as mine, and she worked miracles!!
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who took the time to review! To everyone following along to the story and for patiently waiting for this update :)

"Eric?"

Everly looks up from beneath me, her hands already under my shirt and on my chest. My fingers grasp the waistband of her pants, poised to rip them off. I'd had every intention of keeping my word. Last night, and early this morning were fresh in my mind. I'd planned to recreate our night all over again, all night long, especially the parts where she whimpered my name.

But my fingers froze in place, when I realized I couldn't.

Her final day of training was tomorrow. Her fear landscape loomed over the both of us and fucking it up by fucking her senseless wouldn't be smart. Even though she had no chance of failure by this point, her showing up like I did today would be my own failure. The landscapes were tough mentally, and it wouldn't do any good for her to head into the simulation half asleep. It also meant any new marks on her skin would be ammunition for everyone watching. Four. Jeanine, Max, Harrison. All watching her closely. Waiting for her to prove herself. I close my eyes at the idea of all of them there in one room, evidence of our relationship all over her, as she ranked first.

They might overlook a few things, but my actions—meant to announce she was mine, were suddenly blowing up in my face. They wouldn't overlook my interest in her, especially if they thought it affected her scores.

I pull away from her.

Her hands immediately drop from beneath my shirt as defeat washes over her face. Disappointment. Maybe a bit of expectance. I dislike all those thoughts.

"No. You need to sleep. We have a long day tomorrow. You should get ready for bed."

I mutter the words, still over her, resistant to them myself. She can tell, but she understands. She nods, smiling slightly, and in that moment- I have nothing but appreciation for her. She's smart. She's aware that recreating last night won't work in her favor, and her disappointment lessens when I silently reassure her it's not a no.

It's a _not now._

I pull back away from her completely, reluctance oozing from my skin. Everly sits up, sliding off the bed, but not before throwing me one very telling look. A look that holds me to my promise, that tells me she won't forget about this. I smirk at her, standing up to follow after her, and we get ready for bed together, just like every night these past few weeks.

 

 

An hour and a half later, she's still awake.

Her narcolepsy is cured and replaced with looming panic.

She lies with her head on my chest, her fingers tracing an endless maze. She's not at all hesitant to touch me, and she takes her time as her fingers skim over my skin. The action, this physical touch between us, feels routine in its connection. Not feeling her against me would be strange, and her turning over and simply passing out would have been concerning.

I let her touch me as she pleases.

She seems distracted, lost in her own thoughts, but I let her be. There's nothing I can say that will make tomorrow easier, and there's nothing I could tell her that she doesn't already know. Eventually, she grows sleepy, and her fingers pause here and there. She shifts against me, the tiredness washing over her quickly, as her mind finally quiets down.

My fingers mimic hers, stilling on her skin. I'd been trailing them up and down her spine, lingering over each and every vertebrae. She seemed to find some comfort in the touch, the feeling something else to focus on instead of tomorrow, and I'd happily obliged her. Now, I dig my fingers into the base of her spine, and she sighs heavily, her head pressing into my chest further as though she'd like to sink into me.

"Are you nervous about tomorrow?" I ask. It normally didn't take her this long to fall asleep, and I certainly hadn't expected her to be this nervous.

It's unsurprising when she nods her head.

I hadn't entirely thought about whether she would be or not. It was expected she'd do well. She'd handled each simulation just fine, working through it the best she could. Her efforts were praiseworthy; Everly hadn't let any of the scenarios get to her, and she'd tackled them one at a time. Tomorrow's would be the most challenging of all, but there was nothing she could do to prepare any more than she already had.

"I can't help it," she tells me, her voice quiet in the dark. "I'm worried it won't go well."

Her confession is spoken from deep down inside her bones. She sounds honest, but she's always been honest. It's not in her nature to be arrogant. She'd never once tried to pretend she wasn't fazed by the simulations. If anything, she'd been upfront about them, but I still didn't foresee tomorrow being anything other than routine.

"Don't be. You'll do fine," I reassure her, continuing to touch her back. I can feel her relaxing, her breathing slowing slightly, and her body melting into the mattress.

"What if something terrible happens during it?" She asks, and I let her pry whatever she can out of me.

I squint down at her, noticing her eyes are closed and her lips are frowning. Her voice is tired now, the sleepy Everly I'm used to. I can tell it won't be long before she falls asleep, and hopefully, she'll sleep well. I adjust the both of us, moving her closer to me and sliding my leg between hers. She grows content, her arm resting on my chest, always willing to close any space between us, and I keep stroking her back until I reach her lower spine.

"It'll be nothing worse than what you've already experienced."

She pushes her head further into my chest.

"I hope so."

Her last words are murmured into my skin, and I close my own eyes.

There is little doubt she'll do well. It's expected, of course, but I have nothing but the utmost faith in her.

 

 

 

She dresses in the official Dauntless uniform.

Christian had worked his magic, measuring her from afar and not questioning my orders to have it made before she'd even finished her training. New initiates weren't often granted such a uniform until they took their first jobs here, but Everly was an exception. I'm pleased with his work. The dark fabric is almost too dark against her skin, but it matches her hair perfectly, giving her the appearance of someone who'd been here far longer than she had. The uniform is symbolic, heavy in meaning of who she was here, even if she didn't know.

She stares at herself in the mirror, taking her time to make sure the uniform is correct. She straightens the collar repeatedly. The act is out of nervousness, nothing more. She eyes herself critically, mostly with a frown, pulling her spine up straight and her shoulders back, and I wonder if she has any clue how she looks.

Strong.

Powerful.

Fierce.

It's a far cry from the girl who showed up in a sundress. Miles from the girl who chose this faction rather than days of lazing around Amity. Standing there she looks dangerous, but still sweet. Like she'd lure you in, then kill you in the next instant. I know that beneath the sharp fabric and heavy zippers, is Everly. The same brave girl who came here on her own, wanting nothing more than to prove herself. The same girl whose nightgowns were neatly folded in my dresser drawers, whose love of all things soft and pink had bled into my closet, whose sunny outlook had pushed her through the training.

She should be proud.

I was.

I walk up behind her, eyeing her to make sure everything looks like it should, but it's more an excuse to stare at her. Her boots are shiny, her uniform is pristine, and her eyes are bright. She is just as perfect like this, as she is undressed before me.

"Ready?"

I ask her briskly, not wanting to give her another second to be nervous. She nods her head, but I can see her trying not to work her lips between her teeth, ready to gnaw away at the skin. She swallows a few times, the start of panic rising up, ready to take hold of her.

I step toward her, walking until my chest touches her back, and my fingers find hers. The act of touching her is automatic, like I'd planned for that to happen. I don't say anything when hers curl back into mine, seeking out reassurance. Words are unnecessary at this point. It's unspoken, but she will do well; we'll walk down there together, she'll complete the landscape, and we'll leave together.

There is nothing for her to worry about.

"Yeah," she finally answers me, sounding like she wants to say no. My thumb grazes over the back of her hand, the urge to touch her, to physically reassure her that she'll survive, winning out over my urge to step away from her.

I stare at our reflections in the mirror.

She is as tiny as ever. I had always taken her size into consideration, but two nights ago, I realized I wouldn't want her any other way. She'd always felt right; fitting nicely against me, or on top of me, and now, standing in front of me.

I let my stare wander down, noticing her hair spilling down over the jacket in a thinly veiled attempt to cover up the redness, and I smirk at her plan to cover up the marks I'd left behind. They were prominent, my own desire to mark every inch of her weighing out against my better judgement, and there was no way she'd cover them up. Even buttoning up the jacket wouldn't hide them. I mentally praise myself for not adding to them, but I decide I don't care anymore. The only person close enough to see them will be Four, and he won't miss them unless he'd gone blind.

"Four's still gonna notice."

I try not to laugh as I tell her, thinking of his grim realization that I'd done this to her. Thinking of his valiant attempts to find proof she'd cheated, or I'd pressured her into something she didn't want. If pressed, I'm sure she'd tell him it was me, that I had left these marks and she'd willingly let me, and I can just imagine the look on his face.

She leans back into me now, taking in the sight of us in the mirror. I feel like she's been here forever, like a life pre-Everly didn't exist.

I chalk it up to the uniform.

"I'm sure he will. He's almost as observant as you." She tells me, her lips turning up as our eyes meet.

I smile back at her, my lips curling up slowly, because I know what she means. If I had to bet on it, I'd bet he told her to stay away from me. To be careful in my presence and run as soon as she could. In his mind, he would play the hero, the one who rescued her from me the minute she was an official member. The one who saved her from big bad Eric, before she wound up murdered in my bedroom.

I can only hope he says something to me. I'd love to inform him just how she spent her nights, and just how unafraid of me she was.

"Too bad for him, he'll spend the rest of his days observing you from afar." I say the words lowly, mumbled in her ear, my lips grazing the outer shell, taking my time to linger there. "What a pity."

She smiles right back at me.

 

 

 

I walk in like I own the place.

Because I do.

My authority is well respected here, whether it be earned or by fear. I stroll in with Everly next to me, looking every ounce the Dauntless soldier she was expected to be. To protect myself against the risk that she'd show up half naked, and to rub it in the faces of the others, I'd ordered her uniform early. It protected her- making sure she blended in with the other members, as well as giving her a silent confidence. It elevated her amongst those in Four's class, leaving them gaping with jealousy that she already fit in here.

It would also make her look like she belonged here. Jeanine knew who she was, she knew her name had shown up with the most minor of all discrepancies, and she'd be looking at her closely. Looking for a single scrap of evidence to show she needed her, or any single reason to have me hand her over.

I knew Jeanine would be expecting me to pull something, maybe deciding we'd avoid her altogether. So, instead, I walk us right over to her.

Everly stays right by my side, confidently walking along. She has no real clue about Jeanine or her motives. She has no reason to fear Jeanine, and really, she shouldn't.

On the walk down here, I made the decision to keep Everly out of harm's way. I knew what Jeanine wanted and it wasn't Everly. She would be a waste of a test subject, not especially Divergent, and not especially helpful to finding out what caused Divergence. Ultimately, at worst- her life would end at Jeanine's hand, in a lab, after exhaustive testing. At best- she'd be factionless, disgraced by the tiniest of percentages.

I was determined to not subject her to anything of the sort. I wanted her in Dauntless, with me, just like she had been. I'd decided I'd do whatever it took to keep her here. Jeanine may have had her demands, but I had mine as well.

Everly keeps up right until we near the very center of the room; in the near distance Max and Four are talking next to the computers. Four looks preoccupied as always, but his eyes fly over to me, then Everly. He doesn't look thrilled, but that's not anything unexpected. Behind them, Jeanine waits, placated by Harrison, but her gaze fixed on us.

I smile at her, indifferent as ever.

I hadn't told Everly much about her, and quite often, I'd forgotten she was related to me. I never thought of her as family, for that felt too soft of a word. I thought of her as someone who used me just as much as I used her, and she knew it. We may have been related by blood, but neither of us would spare spilling the others if it meant we got what we wanted.

Jeanine barely smiles back at me because her gaze is focused on Everly. I had tried to make sure she was unremarkable today; the long hair would hide her neck, and the uniform took away from her newness. Even her boots were pristine. Unfortunately, Jeanine stares her down suspiciously, and Everly notices the sharp, icy gaze that sweeps over her. The narrowing of Jeanine's eyes, especially when Everly takes a step closer to me, like she'd like to slide behind me, and the way Jeanine seems drawn to her. To her credit, she doesn't back down, but I shove her forward, deciding to get this over with sooner rather than later.

"This is Everly."

I make the announcement loudly, smirking as Jeanine stares at her. For a full moment, it is silent. I can feel the desire to step behind me radiating from Everly, and I nudge her hand. The less time she spends in Jeanine's presence the better. I want to show her that Everly is no one of interest, simply someone with a minor blip on the tests and nothing more. A recruit for our faction, who would carry out Jeanine's orders just like the rest of the members.

Jeanine eyes her up and down. I know in her overly clinical mind, there is nothing special about Everly. She might be on a report, a name at the very bottom, black and white letters typed up by Ashley, but that was it. In person, she is small and unassuming, not at all what the Divergents were believed to be.

It takes Everly a long, drawn out second to speak, and her voice is far less sincere than one would expect. It sounds like she's dredged it up from somewhere, not at all pleased to be on display or gawked at.

"It's nice to meet you."

Jeanine blinks, her head cocking ever so slightly, as she observes her. I detect the irritation easily; her eyebrows knit inward, her forehead wrinkles, and her lips press together. I know what she's thinking. This is it? The girl who has taken up all my time? This is the elusive Everly? The mysterious creature I've placed before my own Aunt, focusing on her and not my orders.

She's not impressed or unimpressed.

She clears her throat.

"I've heard great things about you," Jeanine tells her, and I feel the slow, heavy wave of unease rising in me. "Lots of interesting things. You've ranked highly this whole time."

"Thanks." Everly answers, and she stands perfectly still, ignoring the silent suspicion. Jeanine waits for her to say something else, but she doesn't.

"Eric has done a fantastic job with your training. I'm rather impressed." Jeanine eyes me once, her words phony and tight, but I know she's done. She doesn't have the time to make a scene, but she's mentally catalogued this moment, carefully noting everything she could about Everly.

"Thank you." I snap, and I reach for Everly. I grab her by the shoulders and pull her back, turning her toward Four's class. "This way."

She follows along obediently, gratefully. Even I'm willing to admit the introduction was awkward and unpleasant, laced with Jeanine's true intent. Everly doesn't seem like she entirely noticed. She walks with me quietly, and I'm thankful she doesn't ask me anything about what just happened. Four's class is standing in the large hallway, doing absolutely nothing. They swarm around in small groups, anxiety and tensions high, worsening as I walk Everly through them. I stop once we are past them, throwing an irritable look at the one who thinks he's Everly's best friend. None of them have been introduced to Jeanine, and they should be grateful for that. This one smiles widely, and I sneer at him.

Everly notices. But she says nothing, only looks up at me with wide eyes.

"You're first, you know."

"Oh, good." She answers in a strangled voice, and I'm tempted to laugh. She loses any trace of ease she had, and now she looks terrified. She looks around at the people next to her, all hoping she's about to fail.

I reach for her.

I step right in front of her, blocking the view of the other initiates. I push her hair behind her ear, and I fix the collar of her jacket. It's a fraction of an inch off. Nothing noticeable. Nothing even relevant to the simulation. But I fix it anyway, my fingers grazing her neck where I feel her frantic pulse, and I frown. I'm about to tell her good luck, a weak meaningless statement that ultimately won't change anything, but the sound of heavy footsteps comes from behind, announcing Max's arrival.

I drop my hands immediately.

"We're ready for her." Max is suddenly right beside me, his smile far kinder than I've seen before. He looks at Everly proudly, like he trained her himself, and he waits for her to move. She doesn't. She looks over at me, smiling tightly, and all I can do is nod my head.

My insides feel liquified.

I have no clue what I'm about to watch.

Her fear landscape will be visible to us, and there is the sudden thought that I might be in it. My appearance could be assumed, since I've trained her. But I have no clue in what aspect. I watch her sit down, Four's stern expression expected, and her eyes find mine.

He says something I can't hear, then injects her quickly. Her eyes search for me while he wipes her neck off, moving back and forth quickly as the serum kicks in, and I suddenly wish I had said something else to her.

I stand perfectly still as her eyes close.

 

 

 

The fear landscape goes as expected.

Until it doesn't.

I stand next to Max, so close that his shoulder bumps mine every time he breathes. Jason and Rylan had both stopped by briefly, giving me heavy sympathetic glances at the monitors in front of us. They were both scheduled elsewhere today, their presence better served outside the compound, and I was both grateful and irritated. Having them here would have been a brilliant distraction and having them not here would have made it easier to pretend I'm simply watching Everly work through each scenario.

At first, they are nothing out of the ordinary.

She struggles as she's left behind, enduring a dull life in Amity, ending in some farming accident. I watch her fight off some sort of dark, faceless monster, rising from the deepest part of the lake on a rainy day. I watch her fight off someone much larger than her, attempting to kill her. There is no major fear of heights, but a quick slide down the side of a building- the view dizzying even to us watching, that ends with her nearly colliding into the cement at the bottom.

Her parents. Her friends. One flash of the man in Amity, covering up her mouth, keeping her in Amity. Darkness. Total and complete darkness. Some bug like thing that tangles in her hair.

I nearly zone out, until the very end.

The scene changes, the lighting falling away until it's just an empty room with a single lightbulb hanging from the ceiling. She stands there, in the very dress she arrived in, arms wrapped tightly around herself. My eyes narrow as the door to the room opens, and Four makes a coughing sound.

I wait for someone to walk in, half expecting it to be the boy who tried to kill her early on, but instead, I watch myself stroll through the door. Right up to her. My lips curl up into a slick sneer, and I laugh at her when she flinches. Her arms tighten in defense as I stop in front of her. Everyone next to me falls silent, as I draw my gun out, and aim right at her.

At her head.

"Interesting." Max comments, and he turns ever so slightly to look at me. "You really put her through the ringer, didn't you?"

I grunt in response.

The fear could mean anything. Fear of failure. Fear of disappointing me. Fear of failing my training. A thousand rationalizations explode in my brain. She could simply be afraid of the guns. Maybe the training had been too intense. Maybe she was worried about…

I shoot her in the head.

Four recoils from the screen, his eyes widening in what I can only assume is delight. Utter delight. Proof of what he'd been saying this whole time. The Everly on the monitor fumbles wildly, hands pressing into her dark hair, her dress splattered with her own blood, and she does her best to stand upright.

"That's…unexpected." Four's voice is low, but rich. "Who knew she was afraid of you?"

His words do exactly what they're intended to do: they burn every single cell of my body.

Jeanine makes a small sound of approval or disapproval, I can't tell. She shifts her weight to the side, her eyes glued to the glow of the screen, as she waits for the outcome.

I keep my eyes straight ahead, watching the monitor as Everly manages to get the gun away from me, somehow believing in herself that she'd be alive enough to push through. Once the gun is in her hands, the scene changes again, to an open field full of wildflowers, as the landscape winds down.

"Did you know that?" Four presses, smiling as he records her time.

I shrug my shoulders, not at all interested in entertaining him.

"Wasn't she supposed to be?" I step away from Max and Jeanine and shake my head. "Send me her scores the minute you have them. Don't take all fucking day, either."

I walk away, shoulders back, spine straight, my jaw clenched down just enough that the pain is nearly unbearable. Jeanine says a delayed goodbye, reminding me she'll see me later, and her words are like lead in the air.

My shoulders rise as I think of Everly and the look on her face when I aimed the gun at her.

 

 

 

I wait for her.

I could technically leave at any time. Her training is nearly over, and I'm certainly not required to walk her home. But I know she'll be looking for me, and she'll want to know how she did. What happened. What I saw. What I did.

So, I wait. I stand slightly away from Four's class and reach for my phone. I pull up Rylan's last message, and I type quickly, ignoring the nervous chatter around me as my fingers fly over the letters.

I need your help with something.

He responds immediately. He doesn't ask any questions, only offers to meet me later. Satisfied, I shove the phone back in my pocket just as Everly appears. I observe her quickly. She looks a little rough. Her hair is in her eyes and she chews on her lip as she walks toward the group. She looks left and right, uneasy at the initiates towering over her. I was right; she is looking for me, her stare frantic and dizzied, until it lands on me.

She smiles, but I don't smile back.

 

 

 

"You did _what_?"

Everly looks up at me in surprise. Her voice has taken on a high tone, heavy horror woven through it. She presses herself back into the couch, a subconscious attempt to get away from me, and she shakes her head slightly.

"Eric?"

I can only stare at her.

We'd walked home in silence. I didn't want to tell her what happened while storming through the hallways, where someone might overhear. This felt personal, because it was. It needed to wait until we were home, alone, just her and I. Until I'd come to terms with this.

But once we'd gotten here, she'd sat down on the couch and looked up at me expectantly.

Dredging up the words is uncomfortable. This whole scenario feels off; like I didn't really witness her fearing me so much that I'd kill her, but I did. In front of everyone. I'd stayed perfectly still, cold and detached from what I had witnessed, pretending it was what I wanted to see. What I expected to see. This could have been a good fear for her to have. It would have shown anyone watching that I had scared her. Pushed her hard during her training. Broke her in real good, just like everyone assumed I would.

"I shot you. In the head." I answer flatly, keeping my eyes on hers. She doesn't flinch, but she does look confused. Maybe at my anger. Maybe at what happened. Maybe at the unease I now felt. There was now far more at stake here than just her fear landscape. Me shooting her wasn't the real issue, it was what it stood for.

And it bothered me.

"But I don't think you'd shoot me."

My jaw clenches down as she misses the point entirely. "No shit. It's not a literal translation of your fears."

I feel angry.

Irrationally and blindingly angry.

I had pushed her hard; I'd given her a training fit for anyone but her. I'd made her work harder, longer, faster than anyone else. I'd let myself get wrapped up in her. I'd let her sleep beside me, telling myself it was to help her sleep better, so she'd perform better. I'd blown off my friends for her, preferring to spend my nights next to her, doing absolutely nothing. I'd let her sit on my lap, her body so close to mine, closer than anyone had ever been, while she sighed my name.

I force myself to breathe through my nose.

"But I worked through it, right?"

I nod at her.

It takes her a second, before she looks up slowly. I wonder if she gets it. Why she's afraid of me. Why I showed up in her fear landscape.

"So… I'm afraid you'll hurt me?"

Her voice is quiet, so quiet I almost don't hear her. She looks extra small sitting there, surrounded by the dark pillows, on the very couch I'd sat next to her on. The very spot I'd touched her, my fingers in her hair and on her skin, always keeping myself linked to her.

Not anymore.

She's going to leave.

I can feel it.

This fear is a prominent one.

It's not something she can dismiss. The idea that I'd hurt her, just like everyone told her, just like Four told her, is not something she can pretend didn't happen. It lives inside her, down in the deepest place, only rising up because of the simulation.

"Apparently."

I sound nasty when I answer her, and I know it. I look away from her, because I know what's about to happen. This is why I shouldn't have slept with her, let her get anywhere near me. It was a punishment, my consequence for neglecting my job and everything else in my life. Deep down I'd always known I didn't deserve anything like her. I'd indulged myself when I could, and now, I could feel it ending.

"But you've never even come close to physically hurting…" The words die as she speaks, and she flounders to keep going. "I've never really thought that…"

She's going to leave.

I'm staring above her, the wall blurring and unblurring, and I feel like I might snap.

"I have to go finish up your paperwork." I keep my stare above her, dull anger turning to a stabbing sensation. I have the urge to keel over, like my intestines are being ripped apart. My words aren't a total lie, but they are a cowardly way to excuse myself.

"Eric," she says my name gently, walking over to me. I can barely look at her. She's pure evidence of everything in my life falling apart. I only look down when she touches my jacket, grabbing on and pulling slightly, just like I had done to her hair. I immediately tense up, knowing she's done. She's been afraid of me this entire time, and now, she's free. She only walked back here to collect her rankings and her stupid fucking dress.

"I don't think you'd hurt me," She isn't as gentle this time. She sounds desperate, sort of frantic. I still can't look right at her, only at the wall, the blankness soothing my rage. "It was just the landscape…"

Her hair moves to reveal her neck, and I can't help myself. My words come out on their own, like they've clawed their way up my throat.

"You should have seen Four's smile when you got to that fear. His face lit up as though it were the best thing he'd ever seen." I can still see his face, the wide smile at his own brilliance. "He obviously took great pleasure in the fact that you think…"

"I don't think that!" Everly snaps, and when I look down, she's irritated. Her green eyes are flashing at me, and her grip tightens. "I never thought you would hurt me. It probably wasn't even you that it was about. You said it wasn't a literal fear."

I stare right at her.

I shouldn't feel like this.

I have the urge to laugh suddenly. This is ridiculous. All of it. I was losing my mind over some tiny girl who was no one here. I shouldn't care. I should be proud she was afraid of me, proud she thought I'd hurt her, because inevitably, I would. I didn't know what Everly wanted, but I would never be that person. I was letting her think I could. Letting her hold onto me like this, tilting her too large head up to look at me – and I suddenly think Jason was right. She's too small. Too young. Too sweet. I could eat her alive and spit her out, and then her landscape would be true. Everything everyone said would be true.

It makes me feel sick, like my coffee might make its reappearance any moment now.

"Do you still want me to go to the dinner with you?" Everly asks me quietly, trying her best to pull me closer to her. I'm jerked back to reality as she changes the subject wildly, to the girl in front of me who looks just as upset as I feel. I swallow heavily, realizing this is my chance. My chance to save face.

I'll tell her no.

I'll tell her to pack up her things. The rankings will be posted soon. She can go to the housing office and have her choice of apartments. She can find a roommate or live alone. Pick a job that is mindless and nowhere near me. I won't have to see her again, knowing she got under my skin, knowing she got to me.

Knowing I felt something for her, something I couldn't quite place, that hadn't subsided. It wasn't just the dark lust I'd assumed it was, and it wasn't the usual desire to simply maintain control.

I should tell her no.

"Yes."

Fuck.

The word is out of my mouth like my brain has become detached. I can feel my jaw bite down reflexively, my own defense at my stupidness.

"Okay."

Everly answers quickly, her hands letting go of my jacket. I feel her take a deep breath in, and I reach for her blindly. I yank her against me roughly, her jacket against mine, the dark fabrics bleeding together. I stay here silently, simply feeling her.

I don't want her to be afraid of me.

Everyone else, yes. Her, no.

I'd never meant to make her feel that way, and it's a painful feeling to think she would be. I duck my head down, her dark hair taking up all my vision, and I don't move. It's been her and I this entire time, and I want it to continue that way. No matter how strange that feels to admit.

"I would never hurt you."

I mutter the words to myself, stupidly trying to fix this situation. I feel her move, her head pressing into my chest, and her arms tightening.

"I know, Eric." She responds softly, gently, just as sweetly as one would expect. I still tighten up anyway; my arms contract and I have the urge to tell her to fuck this dinner. We'll stay here, her and I, and we'll pretend this didn't happen. I'll forget her landscape and focus on the two of us, just like I have been.

But I can't.

I have a commitment to keep, her paperwork to finish, and people to see. I'll still bring her, introduce her to the other Leaders, and eat dinner. It'll be fine.

At least that's what I tell myself.

"We have to leave here at five. I'll meet you before then." I let go of her. I take one final look at her, frowning at the look on her face and stepping away. My mind is whirling, one uneasy confession after another. Feeling this way – out of control, dizzied with rage and discomfort- has to stop. I can't continue with this uncertainty. I would never ever harm her, and I don't want her to think that.

I leave with a loud slam of the door, deciding there is only one way to fix this permanently.

 

 

 

"You need what?"

Max looks up at me in confusion, pausing mid drink.

He'd stopped drinking his coffee when I'd asked for the form, staring intently at me, then Tris.

I could have done without our second resident Stiff staring at me, her bug like eyes suspiciously watching me as she patiently waited for…whatever it was she needed to turn in. But she doesn't move. She stays there, frozen in place with a stupid look on her face as she waits to see what I'm asking for.

"A marriage license." I say the words lazily, deciding that Max must have used all his braincells pouring his own coffee today. "Any paperwork required to obtain one. I need the financial forms as well. And the ones used for census reporting."

Max stares like he's not sure he's hearing me correctly.

"Are they for you?" Tris remembers that at one point in her life, she'd been brave, and she decided to recreate that moment right now.

"Is that any your business?" I hiss at her, and she recoils immediately. She'd been dumb enough to follow me in here, but now she was pushing it by speaking.

"Get me the forms or get me someone who can. I don't have all day." I bark at Max, and he blinks.

"You want all of them? The license, the housing requests and…" Max moves slowly, turning to type something. "The one to set up a trust as well?"

He stops, and I nod.

It was an odd situation. Laughable that he was in charge of such paperwork. It would have been better suited for someone, anyone, other than him to print this shit out, but he did need to sign off on it. As far as I knew, he'd never really told anyone no, but I had zero intent of telling him it was for me. Especially not in front of Tris.

"Are they for you?" Max asks, pressing the print button.

The room went silent. I suddenly wished I'd sent someone else in here. His authority was the final seal of approval on all of it: housing reassignment, point cards, loans for points if you were too stupid to manage them properly, changes in status- the death of a spouse or family member if they lived here.

Or a marriage license.

It wasn't a huge deal in Dauntless.

No one hosted any large extravagant weddings. If you wanted a party, you would round up your friends and have them leap off the nearest building. Tattoo your significant other's name on your side. Move your shit into their shitty apartment, sharing your points for the rest of your days here.

I knew we used the paperwork to ensure our limited housing units were accurate. There were only so many apartments, and all married couples were required to share an apartment no matter what. It made sense we'd need all this information, and the fact that it was me asking, well that made it even juicer for him to know.

"One second. I'll need them back when whoever is getting married fills them out." Max points out, and I nod. Next to me, Tris coughs, and I give her the same look I'd given Four any time I saw him.

A nasty one that tells her I wish she'd stayed in Abengation.

He finally hands me a stack of forms and politely thanks me for coming by. I snap back my own thanks, smiling nastily at Tris as I walk passed her, and back to my office.

 

 

 

Rylan is torn.

For a second, he looks thrilled. Enthused. Like he might die he's so happy, but that could have just been a sugar rush from too many donuts this morning. A second later, he looks nervous, frowning at the papers and scrunching up his face.

"You guys are getting married? _You and…Everly_?"

He says her name slowly, testing it out like he's never heard such a name before, and he crosses his arms over his chest, the papers still clutched in his hand. "She's…excited for this? It seems a bit sudden."

"She is and it's not." I lie brightly, signing my name on the bottom of her training paperwork. I snicker at a few of her scores, remembering how it felt to have myself pressed up against her ass while she tried to focus.

"So you've wanted to marry her for a while? You're like, in love with this girl? Enough to marry her?"

I look up at him slowly, and I widen my eyes like he's incredibly stupid.

"If you don't want to sign as a witness, just say it now and I'll have Jason do it." I tell him.

"No!" He protests angrily, stomping closer to my desk. "I didn't say I wouldn't sign it. I just…where is she anyway?"

"Getting ready for tonight." I answer him flippantly, neatly finishing up the last page. Four had sent her score for her landscape not long ago. I'd read it, disagreed with some of it, and decided to change it. We'd obviously watched the same thing, but he'd tried to knock her down a few points unnecessarily. I'd fixed his errors, then resubmitted them to myself. Approved them. Signed them. Now, I'd get her signature on all of this, congratulate her on ranking first, and move on with our lives.

I smirk, because she'll be with me for a while.

Possibly the next year.

I could take my time with this training. I could make her do everything or nothing. We could visit the factions together, spending a few days if I decided we should, lazily working our way through what she needed to know. I'd have no one hovering over me, demanding to know how she was doing, and I'd have no watching her to make sure she wasn't being mistreated.

She'd also be married to me.

The idea had come to me after I'd left the apartment. My thoughts came at me like a train crash, all at once and loud. I tried to sort them while I walked, picking out the ones that made the most logical sense. I avoided the ones that pointed out I was upset because I liked her. Because I'd found someone who fit into my life so perfectly that it felt like slicing off my own arm to watch her walk away. It was uncomfortable to acknowledge I didn't want her afraid of me and I didn't want her leaving.

I swallowed those thoughts down, because they made me weak. She was something that could be used against me, and that wasn't good. A sore spot that could be pressed upon, until I flinched.

Luckily for me, despite her telling fear landscape, she didn't seem to want to leave. She'd had her chance to bolt, and instead, she had made sure we still had dinner plans.

That made me feel marginally better.

My own odd attachment to her aside, marriage was practical. Smart. I could keep her safe if she was with me. I hated to admit I was worried she'd be Jeanine's next target. She didn't deserve what Jeanine had planned, and there were only a few ways to avoid that. If she worked with me, I could keep tabs on her. Make sure anything even remotely related to her was sent my way. I couldn't stand to think of her in Jeanine's labs, at the mercy of whatever test Jeanine had thought up. This brought up a few other points, like maybe others might not have deserved it either, but I didn't have time to mull over that. I thought only of her, ripped away from me, and I shook my head. Like a lunatic.

Jeanine wouldn't let this go. Now that the training was done, she'd increase her manhunt. She'd be vigilant in her desire for answers. I thought of her list, the pristine paper on my desk with Everly's name on it, and I knew what I had to do.

I would marry her.

I would make sure her last name, still listed as mine, was permanent. I'd give her every benefit of being my spouse, making sure if something happened, she was left out of it. Jeanine trusted me, and once Everly was off that list, she'd back off. Everly would be placed dead last, the spouse of a trusted leader, and there was no way she'd be considered a threat to the factions.

I would also make sure she was taken care of if something happened to me. Retaliation was always possible, and this would ensure Everly would be safe. Everything would go to her, every point I'd earned would fall to her, and my entire existence would be linked to her.

I almost dismissed the thought, my hands clenching up at the idea of her here alone.

There was a tiny inkling of worry that this could blow up in my face. Marrying her was ridiculous. I had no need for a wife, especially not now. I wouldn't know the first thing about a happy marriage, nor what being a husband entailed. It felt stupid, but also brilliant. I could keep it quiet. Marry her without her ever knowing, and she'd just assume no one had ever fixed her last name. At some point, if need be, I could dissolve the marriage if things weren't working in my favor.

I ignore that thought too.

This would buy me time. Time to…I didn't know what. Maybe keep sleeping with her. Next to her. Maybe something would evolve out of this. The idea of us spending years together wasn't unpleasant at all. It wouldn't be horrible to come home to her, and to go to bed with her every night. I wouldn't be eating alone, and I would have a valid reason to spend less time at Clyde's, watching Meghan drink until she couldn't walk straight.

The only tricky part was marriage in Dauntless still required paperwork. No member was unaccounted for, and no one slipped through the cracks.

Which meant getting signatures from a few people.

A witness- Rylan.

The one with the authority to recognize the marriage -Max.

And Everly, as the willing participant.

I'd decided I'd shove it between the other pages, and she'd more than likely sign it without looking. Explaining to her what I was doing was risky. I couldn't predict how she'd react. Sheer horror, considering not long ago, she'd worked through me shooting her in the head. Maybe dread, feeling stuck to me when she wanted out? Or maybe she'd laugh in my face, snickering that I liked her enough to pull such a stunt.

I dismiss those thoughts easily. She'd never once tried to leave or expressed unease with anything between us. She spent most of her time trying to get close to me, and she'd very willingly climbed into bed with me. I wouldn't think she'd be horrified, but she might not get why I was doing this.

"You can gloat later. Think of Jason's face when you tell him you knew before he did." I eye the papers in his hands, waiting for him to cave in. The forms were plain, more functional than celebratory, and if you looked quick, you could easily mistake it for routine paperwork.

"Okay." Rylan finally agrees, smiling again widely. "I'll sign them. Actually, when you're done I can take them to Max if you want. I'll drop them off before I leave for my route. They'll process them tonight if I turn them in early enough."

"Great." I answer, pleased with how this was turning out.

I watch him leave, his dark jacket disappearing through the door, and it won't be long until Everly is officially and permanently Everly Coulter.

 

 

 

Her dress is not at all what I expect.

She's standing next to the kitchen counter, her body turned toward me, draped in a familiar fabric. The sight of it is torturous, reminding me of her nightgowns she likes so much. I knew right away it had been made by Christian, maybe not for her, but in the hope that someone in Dauntless would eventually be drawn to his slinky, soft garments.

It suits her.

I'd given her no guidelines for what to wear. I assumed she'd gone with someone to purchase it, probably and unfortunately Tris, and I'd expected the dress she picked to be plain. Covered up. Appropriate for a Stiff and also someone who had no clue what normal people wore. Or worse, something that would age her, covering up every inch of her illicit skin so I couldn't see it.

To my surprise, the dress is revealing.

It clings to every curve, somehow appearing innocent and sweet, but also looking like it might fall off at any moment. The fabric is flimsy; expensive and sheer, layered over and over again so it isn't entirely see-through. It is dark, fitted until her waist, with thin straps over her shoulders that would be easy to rip apart. It isn't exactly something I'd expect someone from here to pick out. If you squinted, it had a faintly Amity feel to it. An airiness despite the color, the way it lay on her skin, the way it seemed light enough that it begged to slide off.

She looks stunning.

My chest grows tight at the sight of her in it, and I wonder why I've never noticed this little fact before. Sure, I'd admitted she was pretty. I'd never found her unattractive. I'd appreciated Everly for Everly, but this is something new.

Something completely different to me.

I don't comment on it. I shove the papers at her, pretending she's dressed just like every other day.

"You need to sign these."

I call out over my shoulder, heading straight to the bedroom. I stride past the bed, into the bathroom, and start the shower. I don't have much time; I'd gotten distracted waiting for Rylan to return. I finished up her paperwork, making sure it was in order. I'd gone over everything twice. My last few tasks were to decline the form requiring a new housing assignment and sign off on her paperwork to start her Leadership training. She had a small break, nothing crazy, but a well-earned two weeks off from everything. In between all that, I had slid in the marriage license and required paperwork.

I think of her signing it, while I step out of the shower. I shave quickly, listening for any sound indicating Everly had gotten cold feet. There was always the chance she'd really read the papers and ask me about them. She wasn't stupid. I'd decided if she asked, I would tell her it was for her benefit and leave it at that.

I dress quickly.

The dress shirt and slacks I'd planned to wear had been freshly pressed, sharply creased and neatly hung up by Carol. I grab them from my closet, internally groaning at the thought of spending the next few hours with people I despised. I still contemplate not going, especially when I reach for my formal shoes instead of my boots.

Especially when I think of Everly, wearing that dress.

I catch sight of myself as I walk by the mirror. In my opinion, the suit isn't as impressive as my uniform, but it would be fine for this evening. I comb my wet hair to the side, spray it with something Jason had bought and given to me -complaining it left his hair feeling like he'd sprayed cement on it, and stalk out to the living room.

Everly is still there, setting the papers down on the counter.

I eye her up and down, letting myself stare at her unabashedly.

Her hair is twisted to the side, so it falls away from her. Her bare shoulders long for me to run my fingers over them, skimming over the exposed skin. I can see the marks on her neck, fainter than ever, still there. I take great delight in knowing I left them there, that she and I had shared such a moment together.

I walk over to her, the desire to touch her overwhelming.

She looks nothing like my initiate.

I stare at her, my fingers sliding under the strap of her dress, toying with how hard it would be to break it. It gives immediately under the pressure, revealing how fragile the fabric is.

"Did you sign everything?" I ask lowly, closing the distance between us as I slide the strap down.

She nods her head, and I mentally calculate how much time we have. Not enough, but I can make do.

"Good."

I lean in, pulling her against me as my lips crash into hers. I hold on to her waist, one hand slinking up the back of the dress, touching any bare skin I can find. I press my palm flat on her back, urging her closer, until the knocking starts. Everly shakes her head ever so slightly, her lips still against mine, sharing my dark frustration.

"That must be Max," I curse his timing- late, but far earlier than I'd expect from him. I step back from Everly, and button up the rest of my shirt while staring at her. Her cheeks are flushed, and she tugs the strap of her dress back up while looking right at me.

I have a hard time leaving her as I storm over to greet Max.

 

 

We walk in with my hand on her back.

The ride over was quick. The walk inside was quick. But once inside the elegant hallway, Everly takes in the Erudite building with a curious stare. I find her interest amusing; her eyes greedily rushing over every detail as we walk, her arm bumping mine every so often. Her shoes aren't high at all, but she walks carefully, taking time to look around at the décor.

I'd never found this place to be anything special, but the look on her face tells me she does.

"This way."

Max walks slightly ahead of us, his suit nicer than anything I'd seen him wear before, and his date is someone I'd certainly never seen before. She'd been quiet on the ride over, laughing politely when she knew she should, and touching his arm every now and then. Everly had watched her with a smile, pressing herself further against my side. I'd wanted to sling my arm around her shoulders, but I settled for idly touching her fingers when no one was looking.

"It's pretty here."

"Sure." I answer offhandedly.

Everly cranes her head up to look at me, and my fingers twitch. I want to touch her, badly. I want to yank her against me, making sure she doesn't get lost in the crowd of people, making sure everyone knows she's with me. I finally let my hand slide down around her hip, under the guise of guiding her toward the banquet room, through the large ornate doors.

She looks up at me instantly, smiling widely, and my lips curl up at her slowly.

 

 

The place card on the table reads _Mr. and Mrs. Eric Coulter._

I smirk at the sight of it. I saw it when we walked in, printed on both sides, so it also faces Tris and Jeremy. Tris' gaze is glued to it, her eyes flashing from the card to Everly, back and forth, until she succumbs to motion sickness and stops. She swallows, then sits back into her chair, politely smiling as the waitstaff fills up her water.

She finally looks at me, her stare daringly accusatory, and ironically, she's sort of right this time. Max had submitted my and Everly's name long ago, but tonight, Everly Coulter really is Everly Coulter.

And Everly Coulter certainly doesn't notice Tris' discomfort.

She's seated right next to me, watching Max. I'd pulled her in close, my arm around her waist and my fingers digging into her skin until she was close enough. She wasn't, but I remembered we were at a dinner with others. There were plenty of people milling around and pulling Everly onto my lap would draw attention our way.

Satisfied with this being the next best option, I'd relaxed, watching the people around me.

The room is crowded. Everly looks surprised at everyone here, but I'm not. I knew each leader brought their assistants, interns, dates, anyone they could pass off as being important enough to come. They liked to feel important, introduced to others, flaunting their superior status to each faction. Missing the point entirely. This dinner, an oddly formal affair held each year, meant to unite the factions.

Tonight, is no different. Jeanine's minions have done an excellent job of decorating, working hard to outdo themselves from the last time they hosted. It's nothing impressive to me. Overdone centerpieces, branches and flowers thrown around gold candles that had been lit up before we arrived. The heavy curtains are opened, this room an old banquet hall that's been redone to host…this. All in all, it looks fine. Tacky. But fine. Every so often Everly looks out the windows, the view of the city stretching before us as the sun sets, and she smiles.

"This is nice." Jeremy announces to us, grinning over at Tris. She still looks uneasy, especially when Jack takes the seat next to her. Jack nods at me, but his eyes immediately track to Everly, his head tilting as he watches her like she's on trial.

I haven't let go of her.

It's not so much that I'm afraid she'll run off somewhere. If she wanted to, she could walk around as she pleased. Sure, there's a risk she'll run into Jeanine, or perhaps find Johanna and succumb to the dark urge to bolt back to Amity. None of that bothers me. It's that I just want her close, the feeling of her against me satisfying as she sits there.

"I've been thinking." Max loudly drops into the seat next to me, his date now stuck either listening to him or talking to Tris. "I wanted your thoughts on those security tapes we pulled. We never went over them, but I'm thinking…"

He keeps talking, something prompting his thoughts to go back to work. Now, of all times, making himself look like the industrious leader he saw himself as. I halfway listen; I keep myself entertained by lazily touching Everly's shoulder, tracing our last name onto her skin. I get a great deal of pleasure knowing she'd signed the marriage license, and an even greater sense of pleasure as she leans into my touch. Jack watches the scene in front of him, especially when I slide my fingers up beneath her hair.

"I think it'll be fine. I'll go in a few days. They can each work an extra route on their shift. Have Peter join them or promote someone to oversee the additional routes." I answer, and Max shifts closer to me, his gaze drifting from me, to Everly, then back to me.

"You think that would be enough? You could always take on an extra ten and add them to the patrols. It would easily give you enough coverage." Max asks, and his date looks up at the ceiling. I can see the boredom wash over her, not at all expecting to have to listen to him discuss work tonight. She's listening though, every so often nodding along and pretending she cares.

She's not the only one listening in.

"Are you going on another patrol soon?" Everly tugs on my arm, and I tilt my head at her. I can see the worry all over her face, especially when she frowns. Max zeros in on her, his mouth threatening to break into a smile as she stares up at me.

"Sometime in the next week," I answer quickly. "I have a few questions for some of the factionless and I'm sure they have the answers I need."

"I don't think you should go," Everly tells me, her voice dropping. "Can't you send someone else?"

Max can't help it.

He smiles widely at her blatant concern, confirming every single thought he'd ever had about her and I. He looks at me with a pointed stare, and I roll my eyes at the both of them, before looking directly over at Tris.

"Don't worry. This time we won't bring anyone who's willing to commit factional treason."

She shrinks down in her seat even further, and next to me, Everly makes a sound of frustration.

 

 

 

The dinner is good.

Jeanine gives a speech before we eat, something eloquent and well written and total bullshit. Everyone raises their wine glasses to her once she finishes, and Jeremy is the only one who seems to actually believe what she says. His enthusiasm for her is nauseating, and even Tris seems to think so. Everly listens to it all carefully, my hand on her thigh, and her wine glass untouched. She does take a sip of her water, and Tris does exactly the same, before they begin eating.

"What do you think about Rylan? Has he seen anything?" Max swallows down the filet, viciously cutting up another piece. "He mentioned he had picked up a few of the shifts, which I greatly appreciate."

"He hasn't said anything to me."

I chew my own food, watching as Everly eats more of her salad than anything else on her plate.

"Excuse me, I'll be right back." She looks over at me, setting her fork down neatly, before standing up. I pull my hand away from her, nodding and turning back to Max.

"I don't think we'll find anything for a while. They'll be hiding out. They know we're looking for them." I answer him, but I watch Everly out of the corner of my eye. Not because I don't trust her to find the restroom by herself, and not because I think she can't go anywhere without me.

Because Ashley follows right after her.

I narrow my eyes while I swallow down a large gulp of wine, and I can feel it burn in my stomach.

I'd forgotten about her.

It seemed stupid. I knew she'd be here. She'd tried desperately to remind me right after I got shot, but I'd blown her off. It's only seeing her now, her blonde hair longer than ever -perfectly straightened and smooth, her exceptionally fitted dress, the high shoes that she walked in easily, do I realize how severe she looks.

She'd always been thin, but it's accentuated by the tight fabric, the stress of my lack of attention showing on her sharp face. She glides easily over the marbled floors, her posture perfectly straight and her eyes narrowed. I stare, just hard enough that I find myself frowning. There's a fakeness to what I once considered attractive, and it seems to glare right at me when she throws open the door to the restroom with a nasty expression on her face.

She was going after Everly.

It should be no surprise.

I hadn't stopped touching Everly since we got here. Eating next to her was second nature, and so was the closeness we now shared. It was natural, whatever was between us, and I'd mostly stopped fighting it. Maybe it was the idea of marrying her, that she was legally bound to me and I could protect her. Keep her safe. Go home to her at night. Continue our normal routine, just like always.

Ashley would have been watching.

She was seated next to Jeanine, right at the main table, with a clear enough view that she'd be able to see us. Riddled with fury. Had I not come with Everly, I would have noticed her. Her stare from across the room, a half smile that hinted she'd be coming home with me, a grin when she realized that was exactly what was happening. Last year I'd eaten my dinner while occasionally gazing her way. Smirking when she ate her dessert. Slipping out with her before the dinner was officially over.

Tonight, she'd gotten none of that.

I'd been solely focused on Everly.

"Do you need anything?"

"What?" I look away from the doors, jerking my stare back to Max. He's focused on me, graciously taking the coffee the waiter brings him. "Do I need anything for what?"

"Eric." Max laughs, and even his date cracks up, still as polite as ever. He says something else that sounds like he's trying to congratulate me, but I don't hear it. I only notice Everly walk back through the doors, her shoulders higher than when she walked in and her lips pressed together.

 

 

I watch her undo her hair.

She works the bobby pins loose from the mess of waves, wincing every so often when one gets stuck. I sit on the bed, my jacket already discarded before I'd sat down, ready for this night to be over. The rest of the dinner had gone by just as expected: too slowly for my taste. Everly had taken her seat beside me, but she was quiet. Sort of defeated, her lips struggling to do anything other than frown, until Jack left our table. After that, she perked up, not because of his absence, but because we had an endless stream of people who wanted to say hello.

To her.

Everyone was curious about Everly, and they drank her in just like I had. They eyed my name plate, then her, then me. They smiled, large cheerful grins even though they'd normally steer clear of me and sat down because Everly was approachable when I was not. They made small talk, until I grew bored with them. I kept one hand on Everly whenever I could, the cold, silky fabric beneath my fingers far more interesting than any of them. Johanna stopped by toward the end, hugging Everly and touching her hair, while she ignored me. I ignored her back. I also ignored the angry stare coming from Ashley, so dark I could feel it from across the room.

Like she deserved something from me.

Like she could spill all my secrets if I didn't give her what she wanted, and she would without any hesitation.

I'd wondered what she'd done. I'd wondered if she said something to Everly, maybe telling her exactly what would scare her off. Something that would add to her fear of me, effectively ruining everything I'd tried to fix. I couldn't find any real time to ask her while at the dinner, and I didn't want to give Ashley the satisfaction of thinking she'd bothered Everly, so I kept quiet.

But I noticed every dark, lengthy stare her way.

Every, single gaze, pointed and malicious, that landed on her.

I'd ignored it all.

But now in my bedroom, while Everly stands there in her dark dress, getting ready for bed, my curiosity wins out.

"What did she say to you?" I press my palms into the mattress, watching her undo the braided part of her hair.

"Who? I talked to a lot of people." Everly asks, and for some reason, I grow irritated at her naivety. Maybe Ashley hadn't bothered her the way she'd bothered me, but I was certain she had. Everly had come back with a funny look on her face, and it had stuck until Ashley took her own seat.

I hated not knowing. I disliked feeling so agitated over what someone did or didn't say, this unknown I couldn't control. This turmoil over why I was so drawn to Everly, so attached to just the idea of her and I, that someone could ruin that in a few minutes.

"Jeanine's lackey," I answer coldly, refusing to say her name.

"Ashley?" Everly combs out her hair, turning to face me. She looks both sweet and sultry, the darkest parts of her hair long and wavy. I stare at the way it tumbles down over her shoulders, grazing her lower back.

"She spent a lot of time glaring at you." I snap, suddenly hot all over. "As soon as you got up she went right after you."

I recline back on the bed, still dressed, still annoyed. Everly steps toward me, stopping between my legs.

"She certainly seemed to know you," she answers, reaching for me. I grunt a response, not wanting to answer that. Everly notices. She touches the collar of my shirt, and I feel slender fingers work to undo the buttons. Occasionally, they brush my skin.

I grab her waist and pull her closer.

"She said you never bring anyone to the dinners with you," Everly answers slowly, continuing to unbutton my shirt at a maddeningly slow pace. Her fingers still for a moment, and she looks up at me.

"I don't," I bark, but my fingers dig into her side, betraying my nonchalance.

"Did Max insist you bring someone this time?" She works another button, and I swallow down Max's phone call demanding I ask Everly to go. My reluctance to bring her. My resistance to the idea, until it was on my own terms.

"No."

I lie thickly, not wanting to hurt her. I'd told her I wouldn't, and this could. If she thought I didn't want her there, even after telling her I did, it would ruin everything. It wasn't worth it. Because I had wanted her there. I was glad she's gone with me, even if it hadn't quite been my idea.

I stare at her as she finishes her work, and her voice is quiet.

"She said you'd be done with me soon."

I shrug the shirt off, not all caring when it falls to the ground.

"Impossible, seeing as how you start training with me in a few weeks." I point out logically, pulling her flush against my chest.

"That's not what she meant." Everly meets my stare, and for the first time in all of our training together, there is something there that I can't figure out. "She said not to be devastated when you don't fall in love with me."

There it is.

I immediately grow furious.

Everly looks lost. Her eyes are too large, widening when I pull her down to sit on my leg, silently begging me to answer her.

But I can't.

I couldn't love her.

I'd never loved Ashley. Never. I'd never even considered the thought. But it had obviously been something Ashley had hoped for, especially now. Everly was visible proof of that. In Ashley's mind, she was a replacement. One who might flee if she didn't think it would go anywhere. One who Ashley could get rid of if she said just the right things.

My anger burns all over again, because I didn't want that. I liked Everly and I with what we had, but I couldn't love her. I had no clue how. Her boyfriend back in Amity might have. He would have walked under the moonlight with her, vomited up sweet words to whisper when he felt like he needed to, brought her flowers just because.

I couldn't do that.

The idea of loving someone was so farfetched, so unnecessary, that Ashley putting it in Everly's mind would ruin everything I had here. I didn't need that thought in her head. She might have been just fine with the way things were, but not anymore.

I can tell.

I react violently. I find her neck, kissing her below her ear, letting my lips linger. She responds exactly how I know she will. She lets out a sigh, sinking into my chest as she fumbles to hold onto me.

"Is that what you want?" I hiss at her, tightening my hands on her waist. "You want me to fall in love with you, Amity?" I bite at her, her skin salty, and my eyes burn while I wait for her to answer.

If that's what she wants, I don't know what I'll do.

I wait, feeling her weight shift as she tries to change the subject.

"You…you can't call me that anymore," she protests, not entirely mad. She stills when I pull the strap of her dress down, just like I'd wanted to all night long.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Everly." I mock her, standing up abruptly with her on my lap. I hold onto her easily, before I turn around to face the bed, dropping her gracelessly onto the comforter. She lets out a squeak of surprise, the dark fabric of her dress pooling around her lap.

I smirk when she locks eyes with me, and I reach to undo my belt.

I can't love her.

Ever.

It isn't in my nature. And if that's what she wants, then she'd be better off elsewhere. Not here. Not on my bed, drawing her legs up and patiently waiting while I slide my pants off. Not sitting there with her lips parted, as I kick them to the side. Not here, reaching for me, as I climb onto the bed, knocking her backward. Pressing her into the mattress, dragging the skirt of her dress all the way up.

"You didn't answer me." I hover over her, kissing her just once. I have the darkest desire to know what she was going to say. I want to know, even if it's not what I want to hear. I can handle it. But she still doesn't answer me. She looks up, sucking in a breath when I take one of her hands and pin it above her head. We stay like this, her heart thumping wildly, and I think how lovely she looks. How divine. How sweet as she peers up at me, always looking up beneath long eyelashes.

She would leave if Ashley was right.

"You want me to tell you how pretty you are? How much I can't stand to be apart from you?" I let go of her wrist. I slide my hand into her hair, grasping her neck to angle her head toward me. "You want me to make love to you? Is that it?"

She closes her eyes.

I kiss her greedily. Roughly. Frantic to erase the unrelenting doubt that keeps slamming into my brain. I kiss her until she whimpers, and my hips grind into hers. I reach down with my free hand, grasping a handful of the sheer fabric, and I yank it upward.

I lift myself off her, just enough that I can pull the dress up. It's a struggle for a moment; it tangles in her hair, but a second later, it falls to the bedroom floor in a crumpled heap. She lets out a gasp as I cover her again, touching every single inch of her. I work her underwear down with one hand, smirking against her lips as she reaches for my boxers.

I won't make love to her.

I won't even come close to that.

But I will make sure she's happy.

Satisfied.

Content with her life here.

With me.

It's all I can do.

 

 

 

I wake before her.

My phone dings, the email alert loud in my bedroom, at an obnoxiously early hour. I lift my head away from Everly, her naked body half beneath mine, curled against my chest, exhausted from our night together. I grunt when I reach for the phone, half expecting it to be Rylan, announcing he'd found something on the patrol, and half expecting it to be Max, announcing he needed us all in a meeting.

It's neither.

I squint at the bright screen, reading the email from the housing administration, congratulating me on my approved paperwork.

As of yesterday, your spouse, Everly Coulter, has been added to all current accounts. She will no longer qualify to receive separate housing, and if additional rooms are needed, please see a housing agent for reassignment. She will receive a new point card in seven to ten days, as well as a keycard for your assigned apartment. Congratulations on your marriage from all of us to you!

It's signed by a name I don't know, someone in charge of the housing office. I toss my phone back onto the dresser, smiling as I sling my arm back over her, pushing myself against her back. She moves sleepily, mumbling something as I press my cheek into her hair.

I fall back asleep, the thought of her as my wife the last thing I think of before I drift off.


	16. Here comes the bride, and she looks mad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to Bamberlee for getting this back to me in time for Friday's update! You are the real MVP here.

Arlene finds me first thing in the morning.

She bursts into my office looking like the cat who ate the canary. Her smile is so smug, so self-righteous and satisfied that I almost consider divorcing Everly on the spot- just so she'll slink back to her lair.

But I don't.

After last night, falling asleep with Everly's naked body curled into mine, the way she'd happily sighed my name despite the tense conversation not long before, I'd decided marrying her was smart. It benefited both of us. It made sense, logically, and as an added bonus, she couldn't marry anyone else. Like her friend who ranked second, who probably cried himself to sleep when she wasn't there during the announcement of official final rankings. She didn't know it, but we'd celebrated several things last night – that included, and if everything went well, we'd keep celebrating them.

But Arlene is a stark reminder that possibly not everyone would be wowed by my brilliance or understand what I was doing. They certainly wouldn't understand what was going on between us, especially since Everly had been an official member for less than twenty-four hours. They certainly wouldn't see it the way I did, because they were all stupid.

"Good Morning, Eric."

Arlene greets me with a grossly knowing smile as she slams a file down on my desk.

"Why are you here?"

I bark those words as a greeting at her, barely looking up from the reports I'd been reading. I'd left Everly in bed this morning, forcing myself to get ready while she slept in. I'd said goodbye to her, though she most certainly wasn't awake, and I'd spent a morning catching up on my life.

Despite my newly found marital status, things felt normal. Routine. Pleasantly boring. I made shitty coffee, read a few reports that told me everything and nothing that was going on, including the summary from Lauren's class. I watched Four slump back to the control room looking tired and unenthused now that his shining moment of trying to save Everly was over and he was back to control room peon. I ate a bagel with Jason, and I gave Rylan six points when he realized, with a horrified look of panic on his face, that Christina still had his point card and I avoided Linda telling me I looked somewhat cheerful.

I emailed Jeanine back, telling her I'd be in Candor soon, and I'd look up a few names while I was there. I rearranged my desk. Deleted a slew of emails of zero importance, including a reminder that Jeremy's birthday was coming up. I approved the hiring of almost all the new members of the faction who had selected positions already.

I smirked when I saw Everly's name. I signed hers first, granting her approval into my own program. I knew that she was still at the apartment, recovering from last night. Blissfully enjoying her first real day of being a member by being unconscious, but I didn't expect it any other way.

Life felt good.

Sure, she still might be afraid of me. Combined with the fact she'd met Ashley last night, had been interrogated in the bathroom, and had looked slightly wounded when I asked her about it. Less than thrilled with my answers to her questions. I suppose she could have been over this situation entirely. Except that she wasn't. She'd happily held onto me, sinking into me, her hands in my hair, her cheek against mine. I had a hard time taking my hands off her. I liked how soft she was, how resilient she was, how sweet she was when she kissed me goodnight, just one more time, both of her hands on my face.

No matter how roughly I tried to start things, no matter how badly I wanted to pour my aggressions and frustrations into her the same way I'd done with Ashley, I couldn't. The minute Everly's fingers slipped into my hair, touched my skin, or pulled me close to her, I lost my focus. Sure, the end result was the same.

But it wasn't.

Not even close.

Everly was no Ashley, and she never would be.

"I came here to congratulate you on your accomplishments. It's safe to say, I think you pulled off the upset of the year." Arlene remarks casually, taking a seat even though I glare at her.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome. You've earned it." Arlene pauses, and I know it's coming. "What position did Everly choose? I know you were both gone when they announced the rankings last night. I'm sure a few people are wondering."

I tilt my head at her, and I know right then and there she knows exactly what Everly will be doing. "Funny they'd be concerned. And hey, why weren't you at the dinner? Don't you excel at showing up places you aren't invited to?"

"Oh, did you miss me, Coulter? I was busy," she retorts haughtily. "Last night of initiation. Plenty of drunken, alcohol related accidents to tend to. Was your father there? He mentioned he might be going."

"He was not." I cock an eyebrow at her. "But really, he'd have no reason to be. No one cares about a surgeon who never leaves the hospital."

"You never know." Arlene leans back as I lean forward.

"Did you know I was bringing Everly? Did you tell him? Is that why he would want to go? Because if I remember correctly, he finds Jeanine…obnoxious and she knows it. He wouldn't have been invited."

Arlene doesn't back down.

She smiles, telling me she'd spoken to Daniel.

"He does. Max may have mentioned she was your date. I thought it was…a neat little situation. I may have brought it up in passing. He had friends there. He could have swung by."

"Good thing he was busy. Or Blythe reminded him he has a curfew to stick to when he's not glued to his desk."

Arlene rolls her eyes at my statement, and I decide to give in just a bit. She didn't like Blythe any more than I did, and it was – in some odd way – a bond between us. I knew she found her to be a wretched human being, not at all worthy of Daniel's attention in any form.

"So, what did you bring me? I signed off on the completed health evaluation forms." I lean back, grabbing the reports Tris had left for Max. Security footage and the corresponding shifts who worked in the control room. Who approved the tapes to be incident free- signed out, dated and initialed by a supervisor. Someone had whited out quite a few of them, and that didn't sit well with me.

"I came by to have you sign a few papers. I need you to redo your emergency contact paperwork."

I narrow my eyes at her, but she's serious.

Mostly.

She's trying to keep a straight face, but she smirks as she looks right at me.

"I mean, you can keep Rylan on there if you'd like, but I thought your new wife might be a better option for us to call. The next time you get injured."

"Fuck you. Rylan was never my emergency contact." I dryly answer her, opening the folder. Sure enough, it's my paperwork, updated a year ago. "I've never had a need for one."

I pause, my pen hovering over the line of this new form. Everything else is filled out electronically, but the stark white space under my contact information seems to mock me with its blankness.

"You work quick, don't you? Convincing her to marry you seconds after she finished her training? How'd you propose?" I look up to Arlene's hawk-like stare, and she gestures for me to fill out the form. I sigh and write Everly's name on the line. I don't have a phone number for her, so I write my own.

That'll show Arlene. Good luck trying to call Everly.

I sign my own name at the bottom of the page, then slam the folder shut.

"Anything else?"

"Are you having a reception?" Arlene smiles widely as she takes the folder back.

"You should go check on Four. See if he needs any more stitches or anything. Maybe a blanket to help him sleep at night." I dismiss her, returning to my computer screen.

"I knew you liked her. Anyway, thank you for keeping your medical records up to date. You're a model member here. Have a nice day, Eric."

She stands up and leaves quickly, taking the file with her, her expression annoyingly pleased.

I think about it for a long time, even when Jason sets off the fire alarms trying to make a cup of noodles.

 

 

 

"You didn't think we would have wanted to attend that wedding?"

Jason, despite having set the ancient microwave on fire for the second time this year- tries hard to look innocent, then furious, all while Linda storms past him with the now useless microwave. She throws him a dirty look, one that hints she'll be the one sent to find another, before loudly asking Max to help her carry it out.

"You said I could be in it." He sulks, eyeing my food intently. "Did your new wife bring you that sandwich? Does she know that I am also hungry? And now I have no lunch?"

"There was no wedding." I point out, taking a bite of the sandwich Rylan had brought. He'd practically thrown it on my desk, then sprinted back to his own office to grab his lunch. "And Everly cannot cook anything. So no, she didn't make me this sandwich. Rylan did."

"Great. Well, don't worry about me. I'll just…die of starvation. While you and Rylan and Everly have your threesome or whatever it is going on here."

"Whoa." Rylan sits down, handing Jason another sandwich and looking at him like he's nuts. "First of all, he said you could be the flower girl, and I wasn't even offered a position in the wedding. Second, Christina made all these sandwiches, not me. I guess she thinks I eat three a day, so I brought them all in to share because I had to grab my card from her before I got here. And lastly, Eric barely lets us see Everly, so I doubt he's going to let her participate in such an event.

"Never," I answer flippantly, and they both look at me. "Besides, you said she was too short."

"Well, she is." Jason retorts, but he sounds less insulted. "Can she even reach the top of your counters? Thank you for the sandwich, by the way."

"You're welcome." Rylan says pointedly, and he looks over at me as I try to decide between ignoring Jason or telling him to go jump off the roof. "Everly is eating with Christina. I can't wait to listen to Christina shriek about this for hours."

"About what?" I ask, watching Max look like he's given up on life as he storms past the breakroom. "Our lunch?"

"No, dumbass. You and Everly getting married. She's gonna flip her shit once Everly tells her."

I swallow down a very large bite of whatever this sandwich is, along with the sudden and strange sensation of acute dread. "You don't have to worry about that. She won't tell her."

"Why? She and Everly are close. She knew when you guys slept…" Rylan wisely stops talking, and he looks over at Jason. "In the other day. You know what, we could at least celebrate anyway. Maybe we could all go out for drinks."

"Pass." I shake my head and focus on the sandwich on my plate. Christina is certainly no me, nor Quinten, but at least I don't have to go down to the mess hall and wait in line.

Jason zeros in on my aversion immediately.

"I'm going to ask you this in the most polite and respectful way possible, so don't order your firing squad just yet…" he begins, slowly backing his chair away from the table in case he needs to run. Quickly. "But….uh, did you, by any any any chance, marry Everly and not tell her?"

I swallow then shrug.

Rylan chokes, just hard enough that he coughs his drink back up.

"Because of those reports, right? From Jeanine?" Jason looks at me with a crazy expression, holding my stare. "I got the same ones and I swore I saw Everly's name on them but I thought maybe I was wrong. But if you married her, she'd be a little safer because…she'd be with you?"

He finishes his brilliant and entirely correct theory rather brightly.

"You did tell her, didn't you?" Rylan asks just as Jason blurts out 'Or because you've been in love with her since she came here in that tiny little dress?"

The room is so quiet, I can hear the hum of the low watt lights above us.

"You know what, this was a great lunch. But I have to get back to work now." I stand up, quickly grabbing my sandwich.

"Wait, NO!" Jason yells in a voice that reminds me an awful lot of Meghan's, and I close my eyes tightly. When I open them, they're both still sitting, and they look ecstatic.

"You like her." Jason continues on, never having learned about social cues before, and I sigh.

Heavily.

"Clearly." I snap but he's undeterred.

"You've got it bad for her. Why? What does she do that's so great? I mean, she puts up with you, so there's that."

Rylan interrupts, smiling just as cheerfully. "You do like her an awful lot. I mean, you want to protect her from Jeanine, from that dumb report, and you haven't even thought about making her sleep in her own bedroom even though you're done training her. I mean, all you said was you needed the forms. You didn't tell me you were so into her that you couldn't live without her."

I raise an eyebrow at him, my personal business spilled out all over the breakroom table now, and I find myself nodding my head.

Once. So it could look like I'm just looking down at their stupidity.

"Fine. I like her. I wanted to keep her safe, so I married her. I'll tell her later. She's not dumb. She won't bat an eye at the news."

"I fully support this, by the way." Jason gleefully points out, reclining back in his chair. "I can't wait until you tell her. Can we be there? Maybe a dinner? I can see it now. We can all yell, 'Surprise, Everly! You really can't leave now because you're married to Eric. Who cares what your rank is!'."

He sort of sings that last part as I stare at him, hoping I'm right.

That when I do tell her, not now, and not for a while, maybe not forever, that she's completely fine with it.

 

 

 

She isn't.

She comes storming into my apartment with a dark look on her face. It's not one I've seen from her very often. It's sort of what she looked like every single time I woke up early, mixed with the day she realized didn't get any cake.

Furious, would also be another way to describe her expression.

At first, I hope it's something trivial. Maybe someone got her ranking wrong, or maybe Four tried one more time to check in on her and make sure she hadn't been murdered and was floating around as apparition. I could appreciate his vigilance had it been in regard to other things.

But it's not.

"Something wrong?"

She comes to a dead halt, ready to let me have it. I can see on her face she's upset, even as she stares at me. I'd come home after lunch, done with working in the office, done explaining for the eighteenth time- that yes, I liked Everly just fine, and yes, she was now considered my wife. My mental wellbeing on the verge of snapping, I'd gone home. I'd undressed, flopped down on the couch, and tried to work on an email that had been bugging me. It was unusual for me to be indecisive, and this email was the very definition of that. It felt important, like I should send it, but I couldn't quite bring myself to do it.

I look up from it now, to Everly's tiny, little self shaking with anger.

"You look a little…" I pause, cocking my head to the side and taking in the sight of her before me. Her hands balled into fists, her cheeks red. "Bothered."

"We need to talk." She announces, reminding me very much of myself as she puts her hands on her hips and storms toward me. I stretch lazily, eyeing her as she stops in front of me, thinking of how she's already living up to the Coulter name.

"Okay." I close the laptop, email still unsent, and I smile at her. Like I have no clue what she's going to announce. "Go ahead."

She dares to glare at me.

I know what she's about to say. I'd already been emailed that she'd been down at the housing administration and they were following up to see if perhaps we needed another apartment. When I didn't respond immediately, they had called. Concerns over really printing her a card attached to my account. Making sure it wasn't a joke, and they wouldn't be reamed out for adding her name next to mine, giving her complete access to my accounts. I had spent six minutes assuring the woman we were fine, and she only shut up when I told her I'd call her back once Everly was home.

"When were you going to tell me that we were married?" She hisses at me, staring down at me like she's about to lunge for me. I raise my eyebrow at her, and I decide to play her own game. She knew she didn't need an apartment, and she had absolutely no reason to be down there. I didn't care, but if you looked at it this way, she had brought this upon herself.

"I wasn't aware we were married." I try to keep my voice even and my expression bored, but she's highly entertaining all worked up. I fully respect her surprise, and I have a very valid explanation for things, but she doesn't give me a chance to express it.

"Then explain to me why the lady at the housing assignment said I'm listed as your spouse." She keeps going, stepping even closer to me, as though she might actually try to knock me off the couch.

"And why were you at the housing assignment office?" I put my hands behind my head, reclining back and smirking. "I filled out your forms already. Remember? I can't train you if you can't sleep at night."

"Don't change the subject." She practically yells at me, then backs down. "I went with Karl."

I roll my eyes, because of course she did. She eats by herself one time and he decides to try and make her his roommate. "Ah, yes. Karl. I suppose he would need help finding out where he'll be living."

She must find him to be a decent person, because she steps even closer, so close I could yank her toward me.

"Don't be a jerk." She crosses her arms over her chest, and I can see her cheeks darken even more. "The lady said I needed to talk to my husband if I wanted it changed."

"And what does that have to do with me?" I shrug, slowly growing minutely uneasy. She's still mad, more out of embarrassment than anything, and I can't ignore that completely. There's a chance, a small one, that marrying her might not have been the next step to take.

I dismiss that idea.

"Oh, I don't know, Eric. Maybe you should have informed me that I was signing a marriage license last night…"

She looks at me, and I feel it all over again.

The same hot worry, this time like I've put my hand into a burning fire, that'll she'll leave. Even trying to keep her safe, I can't. Maybe she won't understand. Maybe she won't get why being married could keep her safe. I think of her in the labs, Jeanine's serums rushing through her veins, while I'm forced to stand there and watch.

I don't want that.

I stand up suddenly, trying to fight down the image of a pale and lifeless Everly in front of me. "Don't push this any further." I pause, sounding angrier than expected, considering I've made this decision for the both of us. "It's easier this way. Trust me."

"What's easier?" She and I are so close, my chest touches against her. She looks up with big eyes, shaking her head but not at all ready to give in.

I have trained her well.

"The census report? It can't be that big of a deal for me to be counted on my own."

I bite down on my cheek, hating that I even have to explain this to her. "It's for your own protection. You're not only listed as my spouse, you're listed as my beneficiary. It offers you continued protection if something were to happen to me."

Her eyes widen and her lips part in surprise.

"It's only assigned to spouses, and I had to figure out how I could apply it to you. By signing those papers, you're protected. It leaves you out of anything I wouldn't partake in myself." I give her a second before I continue, thinking of the last assignment Jeanine had sent my way. One I'd promised to work on. "There are upcoming plans that I don't want you involved in. This allows you to stay out of them without drawing suspicion to you. Especially as a leader in training. They'd normally expect your unquestioning participation in whatever they ask."

"I…I…"

It's not what she was expecting to hear. I vaguely wonder if she was hoping this was laced with some sort of romanticism. That my actions stemmed from our talk about Ashley, and this was the poetic proof she wanted.

"What are these plans you don't want me a part of?"

I stare at her, but I can't answer her just yet. Telling her what I work on opens up a very interesting discussion I'm not ready for. There was some truth to Four telling her I was dangerous, but admitting he was right- that I did things Jeanine asked me to do, ridding the factions of people who she felt didn't belong, sounds like nothing Everly would participate in. She would be horrified. My job, my life here, all before her, was something else, and something she might not agree with.

It might just be enough to scare her off.

"I'll tell you when you need to know." I look to the side of her, her dark hair the only thing I can focus on, and when I think she might understand, I drag my eyes back to her. "Are we clear?"

"Yes," Everly answers, but she bites her lip and looks up at me. She no longer looks so worked up. It's replaced with confusion, and I hate that I can't explain more right now. Maybe…maybe someday. Maybe someday it'll all work out. This balance will finally even out, and I won't feel the strange, slippery sensation that I'm sliding faster and faster toward her, and less toward what will keep us both safe.

I reach for her.

I slip my hand into her hair, until it's low enough I can tilt her head up to look at me. "Until then, you'll refer anyone who asks about your marital status to me. Or you can answer it yourself if you choose to. Understood?"

"So, we are married then? Really married?"

Everly looks right at me.

Not the dressed up Everly, the one with fancy hair and a dress made of nothing. Not the Everly in her sundress, silently pleading with me to train her. And not the initiate Everly, in training clothes and a look of determination on her face.

Everly, officially Everly Coulter, looking sort of hopeful and sweet, until- I can't look at her anymore.

"Yes."

"Oh." She looks down immediately.

It's an embarrassing moment when my chest tightens. Each organ slips a little lower with each second that she doesn't add anything else to that statement. I realize I'm waiting for her to be alright with it, and that feels painful. Shameful.

I stare at her, making sure she's not going to flee, and it's with great relief that she doesn't. Her shoulders eventually relax, but she stays quiet, taking in everything I had said. I know it sounds like bullshit. Like I'd married her as some sort of joke, not told her, and let her find out on her own.

Really, I would have told her if I hadn't been in such a blind panic.

"I would have mentioned it, but we were late for dinner." I offer up, thinking maybe I should have. But then we would have been having this discussion then, followed by a discussion about Ashley and all those other questions I couldn't answer.

Everly nods her head, still quiet, and I start to panic. Internally. In response, my fingers tighten in her hair, holding onto her. I bend down, and in an act entirely out of character for myself, I kiss her forehead.

I've kissed her countless times.

Roughly.

Frantically.

Furiously.

Desperately.

But not like this, like I just want her to be okay with everything, because if she isn't, then it's all for nothing.

"This isn't a game, Everly. I'm trying to keep you safe." I mumble the words at her, and I feel the anger dissipate immediately. She leans into my chest and her arms slide around me, until all I can feel is her pressed up against me. She takes a few slow breaths in and out, before she sighs.

"I know. You still could have told me." She peels her head off my chest to look up at me, and she frowns. "Sorry I called you a jerk."

I try not to laugh. Out of everything that's happened, I don't need an apology from her, and I never expected one. In fact, had I been one to apologize, I would have maybe hinted that I could have at least hinted at it before marrying her. Maybe. But the fact that she feels bad for calling me a jerk is amusing.

"That's hardly the worst thing I've been called." I point out, and she narrows her eyes as if she's just realized something.

"What are you trying to keep me safe from?"

I shake my head.

Not now.

Not unless she was in some sort of danger, or I needed her to be on the lookout. In this case, the less she knows, the safer she is.

"We'll talk about it later." I stare down at her, and she's not at all satisfied. Which is admirable of her.

"This conversation isn't over," she insists, and she holds my stare.

"Of course it isn't."

I hold onto her tightly. Neither of us speaks. We simply stand there, her against my chest, like she could stay there forever, until my phone rings.

 

 

 

I decide to explain a few things while we eat dinner.

She calms down the minute she sees what I've made, happily accepting the plate of chicken, noodles and vegetables. I vaguely remember she had mentioned she liked something like this, and it felt like a peace offering, even though I had the best of intentions. I still do. I refuse to back down on my reasoning, especially when I voice my concerns out loud.

"Jeanine is planning a hunt for those who she feels aren't particularly loyal to their factions. She's been working with Erudite on several different ways to hunt these particular beings down. I don't want you to have any part in it."

"Is it dangerous?" She asks, scooting her chair in. We'd never once sat over here, at the table the apartment had come with the first day I moved in. Truth be told, I didn't think I'd ever sat over here either. It's far too small for both of us to be sitting at, and it feels weird to not be sitting on the couch.

"Some of it, yes." I stab at my food aimlessly, and I wonder exactly how much to tell her. Before I can even begin to explain that Everly could possibly be considered one of these people, she changes the subject.

"You don't seem like the type who would want to be married."

I grunt my response at her, because she's right. Never, in a million years, did I think I'd marry anyone. I knew Ashley had thought we'd someday be together, like some moronic version of Romeo and Juliet in two different factions, but I'd laughed in her face. The idea was ridiculous, especially when it came to her. Or anyone other than Everly. I was a leader here. I didn't have time to keep tabs on a wife who could ruin my reputation with her entitled attitude, nor deal with someone who needed my constant attention.

I look over at Everly staring at me, and we lock eyes.

She had neither of those traits.

I couldn't imagine her trying to pull rank by using my rank, demanding others wait on her beck and call simply because they had to.

Sure, she liked my attention, but I liked giving it to her. Every moment with her felt absurdly private, even doing shit like eating this dinner, and I found myself gravitating to her. Always coming back to her, back to her and me, to this.

And now, she is my wife.

The official title held far more weight than she'd ever know. My parents would have been notified. The leaders of the other factions would have been notified. An announcement would eventually be made to Dauntless, proclaiming her new hotly sought-after status. She would now be well protected as an important member of the faction. She had no clue, but the wife of a leader could have all the perks she wanted or demanded, and was well respected within the faction, rising up the ranks simply because of her association with me.

"Who signed as the witness?" Everly asks, prying just a bit further and I find myself being over this conversation already. I'd meant to fill her in slightly more than I already had, but she was focused on the wrong topic entirely.

And if she pried far enough, she'd find my own strange, uneasy fear that had solidified my decision to marry her.

"Rylan."

She nods in understanding, twirling noodles around her fork.

"And Four." That catches her off guard and it's hard for me not to laugh. I'd said it to be an ass, still thinking of him smiling in delight when I shot her. I think of him now, when he hears the news, and how happy he'll be for the two of us.

"What?" Everly nearly drops her fork

I smirk at her. "Just kidding. Just Rylan. But Max was happy to sign off on it."

"Does he know that I wasn't aware what I was signing?" Everly takes another bite of her food, chewing slowly. "Maybe we should stop by his office so he can congratulate us…"

Fuck no.

He'd be in to see me once he couldn't find a replacement microwave. "Eat your dinner. We can celebrate as soon as you're done."

I can see her struggling with something, because she looks at me with a very serious look on her face, her cheeks slightly pink. "You could have told me, you know." She pauses to take a sip of her drink, and I throw her a dark expression.

I may like her. I may like her in a way I can't wrap my head around, but I certainly wasn't going to ask her permission to keep her alive.

"I don't really do marriage proposals." I raise an eyebrow at her, and I realize that in the end, this was fine. She'd accepted our marriage, and I smugly think of how we'll celebrate tonight. "It all seemed to work out well, anyway."

She glares at me again, a new record of twice in one day, but there is nothing too heavy behind it. "Yes. It's exactly how I always dreamed it would happen."

I smirk at her, making sure she's looking right at me, as I lean across the table. "Don't worry. I'll make all your dreams come true tonight."

 

 

 

I carry her to the bedroom.

The act is ever familiar; she leans back into my chest, albeit after yelping my name in surprise. We'd washed the dishes together, and she was quiet. Lost in her thoughts, washing the same glass over and over until I'd taken it away from her and set it aside to dry. She'd then moved to help put them away, still silent. I got the impression that back in Amity, she used her time cleaning the kitchen to daydream. I wondered if she thought about coming here, about this moment, or this one- as I drop her on the bed and climb over her.

"Time to celebrate." I smirk down at her, my hands finding her side, sliding her shirt up and over her head. She lets out an exhale, her eyes wide with delight and the slightest bit of relief, and it isn't long before my own shirt follows suit, then my pants. Everly waits while I kick them off, reaching for my arms to pull me back over her, all her worry about being married gone.

I kiss her slowly.

I let myself enjoy the lushness of how good it feels, her warm skin against mine, her mouth against my own. The way she arches into my sheets as I drag her panties off, the way her nails scrape my thighs as she works my boxers off.

The give and take is easy, but only with her.

I press into her slowly, letting my head drop toward hers. This position is not my favorite, not by a long shot. I'd like to think I prefer her on her knees, facing away from me as I thrust into her. But that's a blatant lie. Every time I've slept with her, she's been on top of me. She's sat on my lap, both light and heavy, having no clue she was the first girl to pull such a stunt. I felt like there was a part of her that knew she was different, that everything she got away with was brand new to me, and she thrived off it.

Even now, as I push my hips further into hers, I hope she knows.

I'd never intentionally push her away from me.

Tonight is no exception.

I slide in and out of her, her feet wrapped around my calves, and my thighs against hers. The feeling of this position is something entirely new, not exactly mind blowing, but something else. Something slower. More important. More purposeful.

She reaches for my head, lacing her hands together at the nape of my neck, and she tries to pull us back together. Eventually, she whines in frustration, especially when I pull back.

"Harder."

She digs her fingers into my hair, and I smirk at her. I pull out of her completely, immediately noticing the burst of cold air between us, and I look down. From this angle, she looks completely different. The way her head is tilting back, her chest rising and falling with each gasp, and eventually, the way she sits up, so she can yank me back.

I stare for a single moment longer before I grab her waist. I switch our position, sitting upright and shifting her until she's back on top of me. If I'm going to celebrate our marriage, then I'll do it as I please. Like this, the weight of her pleasant on my thighs, one of her hands bracing herself. She meets my eyes as she eases herself down slowly, carefully, and I take hold of her hair. I slide my hands through the black strands, pushing her head to the side, her pale neck exposed to me.

"So pretty."

The words slip out as I bend in to kiss her neck, knowing she'll squirm at the sensation, pleased when she does exactly that. I open my eyes for a blurry moment, taking in the way she's taken over this unhurried pace, and I shut them quickly.

For a moment, all I do is feel her.

I forget that my intent was to celebrate my own way, that I'd told her I would never make love to her. That even though I want to slam her back onto my mattress, slamming into her until my eyes close, I want this more.

I lazily work my way up her throat, skating over her jaw, using one hand to hold her in place, and the other on her back. I finally make it to her lips, kissing her far less rushed than expected.

Her hips rock against mine, as she searches desperately for more.

"Eric." She eventually gasps my name, pleading for me to give in to her.

"Yes?" I answer lowly, jerking her toward me. There's really nowhere for her to go, but it feels better this way. Deeper. Tighter. One of her hands rests on my chest, and the other is clinging to my neck.

"Congratulations," I smirk against her mouth, kissing her once more. I thrust harder, enjoying the way she whimpers, and I feel her tense up. She keeps going, her hips automatically meeting mine as her eyes close. She groans my name, one of my hands gripping a fistful of her hair, and I blurt out hers.

Over and over.

Until the rush of white hot pleasure has died down, until she's limp and warm, her arms still around me and her head lolling to the side. She collapses into me, soft and warm, and the two of us stay just like that.

She mumbles my name one more time, sounding downright drunk, and I lie us back into the dark sheets, keeping her flush against my chest until her breathing slows down.

I fall asleep immediately.

 

 

Our morning is quiet.

I wake up far earlier than she does. She stumbles out sometime after I've made coffee, her hair twisted and tangled from last night and my shirt the only thing she's pulled on. I have the urge to head right back to bed with her, but she crashes into me in the kitchen, blearily searching for a coffee cup.

I pour her a cup, smirking when she gratefully takes it from me, and smiles widely.

She looks smug, especially as she leans back against my chest, lolling against me while she sighs in gratitude at my chivalry.

I lazily realize if she's going to stay here permanently, we'll need a real kitchen table.

 

 

 

Her hand brushes against mine in the hallway.

At first, I ignore it.

I'm sure, in the swamps of Amity, this is normal. After sleeping together more than once, it would be considered just dandy to hold someone's hand. To silently declare your attachment to them, for all the faction to see, as you strolled through the dirt and cow shit.

But here, in this dark hallway it is not. No one in Dauntless holds hands. No one here is cheesy enough for such a childish act. Even though her fingers graze mine every so often, never quite daring to do anything more, I feel uneasy.

Which is odd, considering I've done far more than touch her fingers.

We walk along together, closer and closer, through the tightest spots. This particular route is suddenly a hot spot of activity. It's like every member of the faction has decided to meet up here, laughing and catching up as loudly as possible. They look our way every so often, gazes wide and inquisitive, but smart. They know better than to outright gape at us. They look at Everly quickly, then me, then return to their conversations.

I stomp past them. If they looked hard enough, squinting in the low lighting, they'd be rewarded with my hand brushing against Everly's in the most obnoxiously erotic display they'd ever witness. I'm sure their eyes would have fallen out of their sockets, and they would have had to turn away from such a disturbing, public display of lewdness.

My fingers touching hers.

I've somehow stepped minutely closer to her, and my fingers move on their own.

She walks next to me, dressed in leggings and a shirt that hung off her shoulder. She had to be cold. She had a pair of leggings on instead of actual pants. Her boots were only laced up halfway, mimicking the way Christina wore hers- leaving her seconds away from tripping over them, and her hair was pulled up into this appealing mess. She walks easily, strolling beside me, occasionally shivering in the cold air, but always close to me.

It made sense I'd bump into her.

We walk down the uneven steps, and my fingers touch hers again. They brush hers lightly, but I play it off like I could have been about to grab her so she didn't miss a step and fall. At least that's what I tell myself.

The next time it happens, one more dark moment where it seems like I have no control over my own body, she presses her palm against mine. Flat against mine. A second later, her fingers slip between my own, curling in so I can't let go.

My own follow her lead, curling over hers.

I don't look at her.

I keep my stare straight ahead, storming along with her hand in mine.

No one actively notices. I could always claim she was holding on so she didn't get lost, ignoring the way I immediately felt exposed, raw and vulnerable because she was holding my hand. I had to admit it was pleasant, the feeling of her small hand in mine, as we walked along together.

She holds on tighter.

So do I.

I still don't let go. In fact, I hold onto her with more force than necessary, up until we reach the entryway to the mess hall.

There, I let go immediately, jerking my hand away like she'd tricked me. Because she had. I ignore the blistering stares from Jason and Rylan as they walk up, and the way even Everly seems to be staring at me.

Of course, they'd noticed.

Jason looks like he might start laughing, and Rylan is doing his best to stop snickering before he gets too close to me. I should have shoved them all into the chasm. Marrying her to keep her safe from our own resident villain was one thing but holding her hand like a lovesick teen was another.

Still, I hate to admit that I didn't really want to let go. It wasn't a completely disgusting feeling to hold her hand. Not entirely. I have the urge to reach for her again, lacing my fingers back through hers, but I resist on principle alone.

I glare at all of them as I stomp past their amused faces, not waiting to see if Everly follows.

 

 

 

After lunch, I discover that while very smart, Everly is no computer genius.

Were she not from Amity, I would have kicked her out of the apartment and told her never to come back. But I was a patient and understanding man, and I realized I'd have to show her a few things before her training started. I knew Amity tried to use absolutely as little technology as possible, so it wasn't like she'd have had the chance to learn anything.

But she'd caught on quickly during her training, so I didn't think it would take long at all.

I was wrong.

"Click here, then select export."

She immediately clicks 'import' and confidently hits enter.

"Oops, sorry."

I can feel my eye twitching as soon as she speaks. She looks up at me, her big eyes truly apologetic and her smile sweet, and I try very hard to actually be patient.

After lunch, I'd taken her to pick up her things for her training. I figured she might want a head start. She still had plenty of time off, but it never hurt to be prepared. I knew she had been assigned a laptop and tablet, identical to my own, half a dozen manuals she'd need to read through, new keycards, and an official email.

We'd gone home, and I figured we'd breeze through the set up. Get her signed in, get her email activated, and her log in information set to her preferences. What I didn't know, was that she'd have no clue how to even turn the thing on. I'd decided to show her a few things on mine before breaking in hers.

I reach for her hand, moving the mouse and clicking a few times to stop whatever she'd just imported. Her sweetness lessens when I groan as my plan doesn't work, and I wonder if I'll have to wipe my own computer. I look at the clock on the desk, and I realize we've been working on this for three minutes.

Three.

Whole.

Minutes.

The computer beeps in irritation, its system slowed down as the machine struggles to complete the task.

"Thank goodness you take better direction in bed than you do here." I scowl as the laptop seems to stop working, and she crosses her arms over her chest.

"That's a rude thing to say to your wife." She stands up abruptly, and I have to admit she looks insulted.

"Sorry." I mutter, still clicking away. The whole thing freezes, a box popping up, and I swear loudly.

"Fuck!"

"What?" Everly very innocently looks at me, her eyes bigger than ever. I look at her, realizing she's doing her best to appear innocent, and it makes it all the worse that she actually is.

It doesn't make it any better that I'm about to lose my cool. "You just imported every single Dauntless simulation ever recorded onto this laptop."

"But that's a good thing, right? I'll need them on my laptop." She bites her lip, the action more appealing than it should be, and she looks up at me.

I give up. I suddenly realize the error of my ways, introducing Everly to technology, and for a second I wish she'd ranked last. "No." I put my face in my hands, mumbling mostly to myself. "And you did it on my laptop not yours."

She lets out a frustrated sigh, and I feel her pain. I'd thrown her into this. I figured she could handle anything I threw at her, but it was clear I'd have to give her time to get used to the laptop. Or to tell which one was hers. I wait, as my laptop continues to protest the thousands of hours of data its currently trying to download, and I count to nine million.

I lift my head up slowly, to her scowling rather prettily, and I wave her over. "Come back here. I'll show you how to fix it."

She walks slowly. Hesitantly. Like I might murder her for destroying my laptop in a matter of seconds. If she was anyone else, I would. But she's not. So, when she's close enough, I reach for her, yanking her right onto my lap. She leans into me immediately, her hair soft and sweet smelling, and I sigh into it. I grit my teeth together as I mess around with the laptop again, pleased when the file finally stops flashing.

"What's this button do?" Everly points at the screen to one of the icons, and the camera immediately opens. The screen changes to her and I, our reflections staring back at us. I blink, staring at the image for a second, her perched on my thigh like she owns me.

Like she hadn't nearly destroyed the Dauntless files with a single push of a button.

"It's the program we use for video conferencing. This way leaders don't always have to attend meetings in person. We can communicate in real time with the other factions." I explain the camera to her, and I move the mouse to the bottom. The screen flashes to capture the image, displaying it immediately.

"You can take photos and save them for later reference. It's helpful if say, someone from Erudite is presenting something and you want to remember it for later. While we usually receive a transcript of the meetings fairly quickly, this allows you to take a visual reminder."

"Interesting."

She tries it out. She leans forward to move the mouse, and when she clicks it, it captures her looking like she's about to fall off my lap.

She frowns immediately. "Get rid of that one."

I delete it with a single click. She turns to look at me, her expression curious. "Do you do a lot of video conferences?" I nod at her, smiling suddenly. She looks rather pretty today, her hair falling into these soft waves and her smile bright as she looks at me.

"Don't download anything else while you're on here, ok?"

I ask her politely, my voice low. She nods her head in agreement, and I reach around her, clicking the mouse one final time.

"You want anything in particular for dinner?" I ask her out of nowhere, and she grins again.

"Anything you make will be better than whatever I had for lunch."

She slides off my lap, heading into the kitchen to look in the cabinets. I watch her for a moment, then turn back to the computer screen. I stare at the photo of us, physical proof of her and I together, in my apartment. It's odd to see us from another perspective. She's looking at me with this smile, a strange look of content and purely happy expression on her face, and my stomach tightens.

I have a similar expression on my face.

Behind the smirk of my lips and the narrowed eyes, I'm staring up at her with the same sort of look. I've never seen myself look like that, like she was everything, but there it was.

Right in front of me.

I move the mouse to the top left of the screen, clicking the first icon.

I save the image to my laptop.

 

 

 

I find Rylan at Clyde's.

I'd pushed him and Jason off for an unfortunate amount of time. It left me feeling somewhat guilty, guilty enough that once Everly's eyes shut, I slipped out to meet him. I dressed casually, lacing up a pair of shoes in the dark, and headed out once I was certain she was asleep.

I spy him sitting in one of the large booths, where he always sits. He's alone, his hair a mess and his head bent down over his phone, but he sets it down the minute I take the seat across from him.

"Hey."

"Hey."

He waves Lucy over, and seconds later, two beers are placed on the table. Rylan offers up his congratulations, clinking his bottle against mine, and before I know it, the next hour flies by. We shoot the shit like nothing has happened. Like I haven't spent the past few months training Everly, only to wind up having him help me marry her a day before she finished up. His eyes sparkle mischievously when he finally brings it up after a long swig of his beer, his grin wide.

"So, uh, are we gonna talk about it?" He looks right at me, waiting to make sure I'm looking right at him.

"About what?" I swallow down the last of my own lukewarm beer, waving the waitress back over.

"You and Everly."

I exhale in annoyance. "We already talked about Everly. She knows we're married. It's all good. Thanks for your help earlier. I appreciate that you had Max sign it for me."

"No, not that." Rylan spins his bottle around on the table and looks at me with a stupidly cheerful expression. "How you feel about her."

"I feel fine toward her." I avoid his stare, but I know exactly what's coming. He saw me holding her hand. For those incredibly long sixty seconds that I walked with her hand in mine, he saw. And now, he'd come to some brilliant conclusion about her and I, and he wanted to talk about it. Like he'd channeled Christina. "She's fine with it all."

"Are you in love with her?" Rylan blurts out loudly, like he's been waiting for this moment.

He doesn't even pretend to be surprised at me when I shake my head.

"No."

"Bullshit." Rylan leans toward me. "You held her hand. I've never even seen you so much as touch another person in here, let alone hold hands with them."

"That's what you wanted to talk about? That I held her hand? She grabbed mine. I-"

"Why do you like her? Because she's hot? Or because she seems to like you? Ashley liked you and you hated her. I never saw you hold her hand."

"You hated Ashley." I point out dryly not at all sure where he's going with this.

"I like Everly." Rylan counters and he still looks determined to win this conversation by any means necessary. "You never told us anything about Ashley. You eluded to the fact that you slept with her when she came here, but you told us about you and Everly together. I knew it was different when you admitted your nights together were sweet."

He sort of laughs when he says sweet, and I glare at him.

"I didn't-"

I get cut off again, when he dramatically slams his drink down onto the table, drawing the stare of the lone other customer in here.

"Admit it. You liked little Amity all along, and now you married her, because it's more than that. And you don't like it, because you don't want anyone to think you can feel anything other than annoyance and disdain."

I stare at him.

"You know who'd like her? P-"

"Don't." I hiss at him, suddenly ready to punch him in the face. "I'm not sure why you're so determined to have this conversation. I don't love her. She's fine and she's…you know what? She is sweet and that's it. I married her to keep her safe. Nothing more."

"Yeah, okay, so are you gonna marry Four and keep him safe, too? When Jeanine decides he's on her list? Or me? Or what about that chick who winks every time you walk into the mess hall? You gonna marry every eligible person in the faction to keep them safe, when you, Eric, are not at all a safe person?"

He crosses his arms over his chest, and finally frowns. "I have to tell you, I think you're lying. I think you've ignored me for months, and now you refuse to talk to me about your wife. And we're friends, you and I. I've known you for a long time. You can talk to me, you know. It doesn't make you any less of a person to admit you could have married her for a different reason."

"I already told you." I look above him, and I swear I could break his neck. "She's on that paper for the divergence and it's…it's not even a number that matters. It was a fraction of a percentage. There should be a margin of error and Ashley…" I pause, and the name tastes bitter in my mouth, like I could vomit. "She's submitted Everly's name multiple times now. To get back at me for not wanting to continue fucking her when I was bored. So, after…I decided I would marry Everly. Anyone else working on the project won't notice her name changed to Coulter, and Jeanine won't come after her directly if she's linked to me."

The words come out of my mouth, like they've been bottled up for some time now.

"The test is shit." Rylan agrees, and he orders another round of drinks. "You and I know that Everly isn't someone who's out there trying to destroy the system. I don't see why Jeanine's so focused on this now."

"No clue."

I finish my drink, and Rylan shakes his head. "What happened in her fear landscape?"

I hesitate to answer him, and he notices.

"You were in it, weren't you? I saw the tapes when you and Everly left, and you looked…kinda…miserable. Four looked pretty happy."

I say nothing.

I look at the table, struggling with why this felt so terrible to admit. He was right. He was the one person in this faction I could trust. He had my back; he'd proven it time and time again. Still, I shrug my shoulders, and I look over him again, staring at the wall.

"I shot her."

"In the sim?" Rylan pries, and I roll my eyes.

"No, in person, you dumbass. Yes, in the landscape. I found out she's afraid I'll hurt her. Four was ecstatic at that revelation."

I want to take the words back as soon as I say them, but he doesn't do anything but frown.

"You wouldn't hurt her." He looks confused. "Would you? I mean, you said you're trying to keep her safe."

"No. I wouldn't." I answer slowly, and Lucy walks by closely in a poor attempt to eavesdrop. I wait till she's far enough away that she can't hear me. "Look. Alright, I didn't handle that little scenario very well. I didn't want her to leave. I thought maybe after that landscape she'd realize that I could hurt her and she'd bolt. Room up with someone else. I didn't want that."

"Because-"

"I swear if you say it's because I'm in love with her…" I uselessly threaten him, but I trail off, having nothing to really threaten him with. "I just…it's easy with her. It's never been easy with anyone. I don't want to ruin that."

I stare at him, feeling like I have thrown up on the table. Sweaty, shaky. Queasy.

But Rylan nods his head at me, and this time, his smile is honest understanding at my confession. I hadn't planned on saying anything of the sort to him, but it's too late now.

He raises his beer bottle at me, winking.

"I knew you loved her."

I could kill him. Really, no one would look that hard for his body, and I'd be doing Christina a favor when she realized how annoying he could be.

Instead, I sit there, wondering how on Earth I'll talk my way out of this one.

In the end, I don't.


	17. Inside vs Outside

"So, is it true? You really married her?"

I narrow my eyes at the paper in front of me, pretending my interest is solely focused on the list.

The word _married_ is starting to sound offensive.

I look up slowly, making sure Peter can catch the disdain on my face, because the way he stressed the word 'married', makes it sound like something else entirely.

"Who?" I bark at him, marking off the routes with a heavy strike through the ones I don't approve. "What are you talking about?"

"Come on, man." Peter laughs, clearly enjoying himself. "That girl. The one you trained. Four was in here whining about her a few weeks ago. How you basically lorded over her the entire training and refused to let anyone talk to her. Then today, some of the new recruits were bitching about it. Saying how unfair it was since they never even had a chance with her before you married her. I overhear lots of interesting things, but this is a first."

"Great." I answer flatly. "You have six routes on here that need to be reassigned. You're looking for factionless, but more specifically, the ones who have been trained as soldiers. You won't find them hanging out in the middle of Amity."

"Are you taking over the Amity route? Since you're uh, so fond of that faction now."

When I look at him, he flashes me a blinding grin. I can't quite kill him right now, since I personally don't want to oversee any of these routes and he knows it. I was sending ten of them to Erudite today alone, and I had plans that didn't involve me accompanying them.

"Watch yourself." I raise my eyebrow at him, and he immediately backs up a step, but his smile stays. "If Four's feelings got hurt over an initiate he didn't want to train, it's not my problem. Same goes for the soldiers who came here to work. Change these last two groups. Send them to Erudite and have them report in every hour. Anything suspicious, send it my way."

Peter stares at me. "Why didn't he want to train her? And isn't that overkill for coverage for Erudite? There's nothing even going on there."

"Listen," I shove the reports back at him with a bored expression, and then I smile. "If you're confused about doing your job, let me know. I'll have someone come down here to show you how to read your emails."

The men behind him snicker.

Even as new members, they'd quickly learned about the man who was Peter. Peter was a low-ranking officer with minimal supervision tasks. He oversaw some of the routes that were considered of lesser importance and had proven to be fairly competent. He could have risen through the ranks faster, but he was often distracted by his lust to know the dirt on every person in Dauntless. He thrived off knowing the secrets of others, and maybe, he felt like knowing them covered up his own. But it was his downfall; just like now- the team behind him are nothing but smiles and exchanged looks at his mistake of trying to make me look stupid. If he wanted to ask me about Everly, had I really married her, and did I do it to piss off Four, then he should have just asked me.

I might have answered him. I'd once enjoyed watching him beat the shit out of Tris, back when he first came here.

But not now.

So, I leave, smirking once at the blonde haired male behind him, noticing the way his haircut looks awfully similar to mine. I leave them all to wallow in their desire to know about my personal life, just like every other fucking person in this faction.

 

 

I run into Jason on the walk back to my apartment.

He looks panicked; his skin is pale and sweaty, and he stops his sprint once he lays eyes on me.

"Hey, where's Everly?"

He sounds out of breath. He falls in line with me as I make the decision not to ask what he's doing. Occasionally, Jason covered the lowest levels of Dauntless in a monthly inventory assessment. He was sent to the darkest part of the faction, where we had holding cells, where we stored supplies, electrical equipment, and every so often, where we had a lone newbie get turned around in the maze down there.

Once, a long time ago when he first came here, Jason had gotten lost on that floor. He'd mistakenly taken a few wrong turns and wound up stuck until he worked his way out a good amount of time later. He showed up at Clyde's just as pale and sweaty as he is right now, frantically explaining all the odd noises and strange sounds he'd heard while down there.

He was convinced it was haunted.

Rylan had laughed so hard he spit out his drink. I had rolled my eyes at him, still high on my new authority here, and we'd never let him live it down. He still brought it up from time to time, claiming the ghosts of the basement sometimes floated up to the higher levels. Always to the floors he was patrolling, only when he worked.

"Eric?"

"She's at home getting ready. We're heading out today." I answer, shoving him away from me.

"You're going to the market?" He asks, shoving me right back. I eye him in confusion and he shakes his head. "I wanted to tell you I've been thinking about something all morning. I'm glad I ran into you."

He jogs to keep up with me, and I slow down just enough to let him continue, only halfway interested in what he could possibly be saying.

He bumps into me again, this time on purpose, and I wipe the sleeve of my jacket off.

"Why are you so sweaty?" I snap, then I shake my own head. "Actually, you know what? No. I don't want to know."

I take the stairs two at a time, relieved when the elevators come into view. I jab at the call button, and Jason eventually catches up to me.

"She's tall enough."

"What?" I turn to look at him, and he grins like he's single handedly figured out some huge mystery. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Everly." He answers easily, like he hasn't just been sprinting through Dauntless to avoid being killed by a vengeful spirit. "I think she's the perfect height for what I would have imagined your wife would be."

"You spent time thinking about how tall my wife should be?" I raise an eyebrow at him, and he tries hard to keep a straight face.

"I've had some free time lately." He smoothly cuts in front of me when the doors open, and triumphantly pushes the hold button. "Get in. I'll walk you home."

I say nothing.

I step in beside him, and silently watch while he pushes a few buttons.

"Are you ever going to let us hang out with her?"

"Why do you want to hang out with her? So you can ask her exactly how tall she is?" I ask him suspiciously, patiently waiting while the doors shut.

"No. I thought it might be really good to get to know her. She's one of us now." He points out. He pushes a few more buttons and I glare at him.

"Why are you pushing every button? You know where I live. You live on the same floor."

"So we have time to talk."

I exhale loudly.

It seemed all anyone wanted to do these days, was talk about how I was feeling. Over and over. Like they could get me to admit something if they just kept asking me.

Unfortunately for all of them, I'd rather throw myself down this elevator shaft than do anything of the sort.

"Come on, dude. She should get to know us. Not just what you tell her about us. You don't always have the best perspective on things."

I look at him, and he looks genuinely concerned. I have to admit that maybe, _maybe_ , I should let her really get to know them. Out of anyone in Dauntless, he and Rylan were two people she'd be able to trust. If she needed anything and I wasn't there, they'd be there for her without question. It wouldn't hurt for her to have a real relationship with them, and not an expected one just because they were my friends.

I suppose it is time.

"Fine. We'll all have dinner." I answer him through gritted teeth. "Sometime in the near future. The distant future."

"Perfect, I'll bring Meghan." He answers cheerfully.

"Wonderful."

The doors open up to the wrong floor, but I step off the elevator anyway. Jason calls something out but I don't turn around. I walk through to the floor, nodding at the few random members, until I reach the stairwell.

I close my eyes for a moment.

Maybe this dinner wouldn't be the worst. Rylan was fine, Jason could be fine, and Meghan wasn't entirely awful if she kept her mouth shut. Everly and I could eat a nice, quiet dinner with them then be home and in bed, just like normal.

That makes me feel marginally better, so I smile to myself, and head home to my appropriately tall wife.

 

 

 

Everly looks nice.

She and I walk down the hallway together. She's dressed in the dark clothes that have slowly bled into her wardrobe. At first, I had found them to be oppressive, but now, they sort of suit her. Not entirely, though. They are a vibrant contrast against her skin and the fabrics are far thinner than my own shirts. They aren't at all appropriate for winter, but she seems to think my sole job here is to keep her warm.

To my other surprise, she rarely picked out anything form fitting. Instead, she liked her clothes to slide off her. To expose her shoulders, her neck, sometimes her collarbone. She never wore actual pants, but instead chose leggings in some sort of attempt to stay warm, and at times, she pulled her hair up.

It drove me insane.

Despite being far more covered up than anyone here, she seemed the most exposed. I was the only person here who'd seen her undressed, and it felt like each glimpse of her skin was a reminder of that. Like she was hinting at me, teasing me with each inch of skin not covered in fabric, and it made me grit my teeth together.

Today, her hair is twisted in a bun, and she smiles at me every time we turn a corner. I smile back at her, noticing she's happy. Her days off have served her well. She'd caught up on her sleep, spent plenty of time tangled around me, destroyed my laptop, and now, we were leaving Dauntless for the remainder of the day.

"Do you go to this market often?"

Everly asks as her fingers touch mine, but I hold off from grabbing her hand. Not because I don't want to touch her, but because it's not enough.

"Every so often." I reach for her waist.

My fingers find the heavy fabric of my old hoodie. She'd found it in the back of my closet, one of the first things I'd ever bought here. It no longer fit me, and it didn't even fit her. But there was something in me that grew warm when she pulled it on, the sleeves hitting past her fingertips unless she yanked them up.

I slide my hand around her lower back, then lower, until I can curl my fingers around her hip. We walk right past Karl and his friends, all waiting to depart for Erudite. It was irritating to see Peter was already behind schedule, but I made no move to fix his error. I simply let them exist, Karl's stare fixed on the wall as he tries very hard not to look at Everly.

She smiles at him anyway.

I smirk.

I stare them down; I make sure to make eye contact with all of them, including Karl. He is the biggest and strongest of the bunch. He'd arrived as one of the tallest, but he'd quickly put on pound after pound of muscle. Had he been in my class, I would have been impressed with his stature. His progress. His final ranking. But now, his posture reeked of hurt feelings and a sour disposition every time his eyes fell to Everly.

I hold onto her tighter.

I'm not at all threatened by him.

I know that despite his attempts to room with her, she didn't really know him. He didn't know anything about her, either. I found it irritating that he liked her based off her looks alone, and nothing more. All in all, he'd spent scant minutes with her. He didn't know that she hated to be cold, that she didn't like sleeping alone, or that she was nothing but lovely as she watched me climb into bed. He had no idea how strong she was, not just physically, or how smart. How hard she worked just to stay here, when every single person had it out for her.

I make sure he sees everything, especially my smile, as I guide her around the corner.

He'll never have any of this.

Especially her.

 

 

 

I take her to the market on the sunniest day so far.

I'd mentally debated bringing her, not sure if this was something she'd even want to do. She'd expressed a few small moments of disdain for her former faction, and this market reeked of Amity. It felt like someone had suggested it to Johanna, Johanna had brought it up to all the factions, then immediately backed out from doing anything because it was a lot of work. But now, it was organized by someone who I'd never bothered to take notice of, and we had a weekly bazaar to shop at.

It was where Jason had found the DVD player. Where I'd hired someone to find my couch. Where Rylan bought his boots, the ones that weren't approved for our uniforms but were his favorite. It was one of the few places where you could find someone from every single faction, blurring together as they shopped for useless items. Baked goods. Flowers. Clothes. Handmade jewelry. Brownies that I wouldn't recommend eating. Anything one could think of.

The thing of real interest to me were the people who sold books.

In reality, they should have donated them to their faction libraries. But they were often sold for profit, rare books scavenged out of old homes, printed on fragile paper with heavy spines. I liked them far more than any of the electronic versions Erudite cranked out. I'd much rather hold a book and sink into my couch, than sit there and blink at my tablet, swiping the pages away.

To my delight, Everly did too.

I'd watched her zone out, night after night, lost in the book she'd found when she was supposed to be reading her way through her training. It made her all the more perfect for me; she could appreciate reading the same way I could, and there weren't many in Dauntless who enjoyed relaxing with a book. I'd go as far as to assume half the faction never read past what they were required to in school, and they spent more time drinking than doing anything else here.

I stop at a section of tables when I find the man I've purchased several books from. He recognizes me immediately. His royal blue jacket boasts that he's from Erudite, but the look in his eye tells me he could have been from Dauntless. I got the feeling he'd left Dauntless for Erudite, and it wasn't entirely gone from him. Especially considering he's selling these books instead of hoarding them.

But his eyes light up when he greets me, and I pause to introduce Everly to him. Ready to familiarize her with the man who'd find her the series of books if she wanted him to.

I turn to grab her, but to my surprise, she's not there.

She's wandered a few rows ahead. I spy her heading toward a table filled with flowers, and I groan when she stops at the weeds, excitedly greeting the girls there. I faintly recognize their faces, a fantastic feat since they look like every other person from Amity, and I sigh.

They're her friends.

Despite her reluctance the last time she saw them, she looks thrilled to see them now. They immediately race around the table to hug her, gathering her in a tangle of arms until she's lost in a sea of yellow fabric.

"Looks like you're taking home some flowers today."

My book dealer remarks with an amused grin, having picked up on my stare. I watch Everly step back from them, and they take her in, examining every inch of her. The leggings, the hoodie, the way she holds herself. I can see them trying to figure out just exactly what's different about her, just like last time.

They won't be able to.

"Great. You know what, I'll be back."

I tell the man before me, and I take off. Not toward her, though. I give her this time with her friends. I only watch them a second longer, their eyes wide and bright as they pull her toward the table, proud of their display of utter garbage. She looks down at the arrangements and I hope she's developed seasonal allergies so we don't have to bring any of that shit home.

I let her be.

I stalk through the maze of tables by myself, feeling a bit irritable at that fact. I head toward the furthest point of this market, past all the people milling around. The same guy who found my couch is there, standing amongst his latest finds, entertaining a few people looking at what he has for sale. There are all kinds of shit he'd scavenged; much of it is nicer than what you'd normally find around the factions, and he reminds me of a modern day pirate as someone bargains for him to lower his price on a pair of end tables.

"Stephan."

I greet him casually, eyeing everything he has while he walks over. My intent in coming here had been to find a new kitchen table. I'd had no need for one before, but Everly and I couldn't eat on the couch forever. Our first dinner as husband and wife had called for something more, and the current table I had wouldn't cut it. It wasn't a purchase I was excited to make, but it was necessary.

"Hey, man! What can I do for you today?" Stephan steps away from a Candor woman. He reaches for my hand, shaking it. He's clearly thrilled to see me. Probably because he knows I'll buy something from him, and I have far better taste than the others. I glance with heavy annoyance at the woman from Candor who accidentally bumps into me, and she scurries off to look at these dark rugs with a hideous print on them.

"I need a kitchen table."

Stephan grins.

Fifteen minutes later, I have a table. A large, darkly ornate table that would allow us to seat more people than I'd ever like to have in my apartment. I pay him for the table, plus extra so he'll deliver it, and I shake his hand once more. I have no idea where he finds the stuff, but it beats having someone in Amity make it.

"See you around, Eric."

Stephan happily waves goodbye, and I lazily wander through the crowd. I take a minute to enjoy this time of doing nothing. I'm not at work, and I'm not stuck beneath the ground, sitting at my desk thinking about work. I head past rows of dark fabrics mixed with lighter ones, and I skim over someone selling odd statues.

None of this is of any real interest to me. It's all stuff I have no need for, especially the flowers. I stop back at the tables full of books, pausing to idly flip through them. Most of these aren't my preferred genre of reading, and I'm about to walk away when I spy a familiar cover buried in at the edge.

The same wizard, peeking up from beneath a pile of murder mysteries.

"Have you read those?" My friend looks at me curiously, his brain whirling to figure out if I had. I don't want to entirely insult him by sneering, so I shake my head and hide my disgust that someone would think I'd spend my free time reading about magic.

"No, but my wife does."

I blame Everly without thinking. I also refer to her as my wife without thinking, but it doesn't sound half bad. It's a convincing statement, and the man behind the table smiles. Nosily. I can see the questions bubbling up, and I know where this is going.

"I uh, didn't know you were married. You want it? It's the last one I've seen around. A buddy of mine has the whole series. I could try to find them for you if you want. He likes them, so I don't know if he'll part with the hard copies, but for the right price he might."

"Actually, yeah. I'll take it. She'll be excited. You can see if he'll sell the others." I answer, handing him the card I'd just shoved into my pocket moments before. He takes it from me and swipes it on the device attached to his phone, then he picks up the novel.

"You want a bag?" He grins knowingly when I nod. "Is your wife the one over at the flowers? In black?"

I take the card back from him, and I follow his stare over to Everly. She's still talking with her friends, and she shoves her bangs out of her face every now and then. She sticks out, her clothes nothing like theirs, but she's smiling happily. When one of them leans in to say something, she reaches out to touch the flowers in front of her.

I stare at her, the way the sunlight slides down her skin, and the way she looks alive in the fresh air, surrounded by the bright blossoms.

"Yeah, that's her." My voice comes out rougher than I'd planned, and I take the bag from him. "Thanks. I'll see you next time."

He nods, his stare back on Everly.

I leave him standing there, and I head toward her and her friends. They're still talking, chatting quickly, like they've got to cram everything into these precious few minutes because they know she'll leave. I watch as Everly shakes her head, and her friends smile back at her, prouder than ever.

I had no real plans of interrupting, except that I do.

There's something about seeing her with them that feels uncomfortable. Like they could pull her right along back with them, even though I know she doesn't want that. The feeling settles in my stomach, making me want to hurry up and return home. I can hear them laughing, their voices sweet and giggly, and I'm right behind her when one of Everly's friends realizes I'm watching. Her eyes widen in pure horror, and the smile slips from her face completely.

It's a greeting I'm used to.

I squint at her, at the cheap fabric of her clearly homemade dress and she looks like she's suddenly frozen in place.

"Oh, uh hello."

The greeting is awkward, even coming from someone who's entire life revolved around accepting people. Everly turns around when her friend steps back, and her big eyes find mine. Luckily for all of them, I force myself to be polite. After all, these girls are her friends, and the last time I saw them, I was storming out of Amity ready to stab someone. I can at least be civil to the ones who had nothing to do with that little situation.

"Hello."

I greet the brave one in a short tone, and I step closer to Everly. I notice her friends are selling the flowers, neatly arranged in large bouquets, tied with brightly colored ribbons. It's proven to be a popular item for the rest of the suckers here. People stop fairly frequently to purchase them, oohing and ahhing over the vibrant colors.

I reach for Everly.

I find her fingers first, then her hand. I tug her in my direction just enough she looks up at me. "I found a table." For a minute, she looks confused at the change in conversation. She raises her eyebrow at me, and I roll my eyes in response. She's been with her friends for twenty minutes and already forgotten where she lives. "For the kitchen. So we don't have to always eat on the couch."

"Where?" Everly asks, forgetting about her friends momentarily, looking left and right in an attempt to see this table. She shifts closer to me, her hand still in mine. Her bravest friend watches intently, fascinated by the sight in front of her. It's one thing for me to be standing here holding her hand, but another to be buying a table for her.

It's probably the most romantic thing her friend has ever seen.

"Over there." I answer flippantly, not really wanting to go all the way back there. Stephan was nice. He was great at what he did, and I appreciated someone else wanting to find old furniture and refurbish it. But I didn't need Everly's approval on my furniture, and I certainly didn't need Stephan encouraging her to redecorate the entire apartment.

I watch her friends out of the corner of my eye while Everly looks where I point. They exchange a heavy look, one hinting that they're well aware my presence is a big deal. I turn back to face one of them, staring her down as she blinks a few times in disappointment when she realizes I'm taking Everly with me.

"You go." The girl leans into Everly, hugging her fiercely. She mumbles something to her, something I don't care enough to try and hear, and I zone out while I wait for them to say goodbye. I drop Everly's hand and take a step closer to the table while Everly says something back to her. She could be telling her anything, but I pay no attention. I pluck a few of the flowers off the table, ones that have fallen out from their ties, and I wonder if she likes them.

I wonder what if she had never left Amity, would I have seen her here, behind this table, smiling sweetly as she handed someone flowers? Her gaze finding mine. Her head tilting up to look at me. Her eyes glued to me, just like they had been since day one.

I wonder if I would have stopped to talk to her.

"Tell everyone I said hello."

My little daydream comes to a grinding halt when I hear her say that. I throw her a dirty look, tossing the flowers back down, and I step back over to her.

I realize I'd have never bought flowers from her. I would have stormed past her, pretending I didn't see her and this trivial little stand, but wanting to stop. I'd think about her later in the day, wondering who she was. I can see it now, and I have the sudden urge to smash all the flowers as the Everly in my daydream heads back to Amity and her long-haired boyfriend.

"Bye, uh Eric. It was good to see you again." I return to Everly as her friend politely says goodbye. I nod, reaching for her hand and sliding my fingers between hers. She responds immediately. Her fingers curl into mine, and I pull her back into the crowd without looking back.

Everly waves goodbye to her friends, but her hand stays in mine, holding on tightly.

 

 

 

On Monday, Max ruins my life.

For someone so disgustingly invested in what I was doing, he has a fantastic way of undoing everything I was doing.

I got his email late Sunday night. Everly sat next to me on the bed, combing out her wet hair, and she watched me read it. I should have thrown my phone at the wall or pretended I'd never seen the message, but he'd find me one way or another.

He wanted to speak to Everly and me.

There was little doubt he'd at some point mention the marriage. There was also little doubt he wanted to meet with us so he could insert himself into her leadership training, or add in a few of his own suggestions. I had no desire to watch Everly be trained by him, learning absolutely nothing except how to get out of doing work. But he was Max, he found himself to be very intelligent, and he'd want to make sure he could at least spend enough time with her to add his name to the paperwork.

I'm right.

I sit across from him now, watching him nearly spill his coffee while he rummages around for the paperwork I'd submitted. His office is pure chaos; his paperwork is thrown all over his desk, arranged in groups that are a façade of organization. His laptop is dangerously close to falling off the desk. His cell phone lights up constantly, buzzing over and over as he doesn't answer it.

"I'd just like to go over a few things before you start your leadership training. Mostly, I noticed that Eric has made some changes to the standard leadership curriculum."

Everly looks over at me, and I shrug ever so slightly. He isn't entirely wrong. I'd crossed off all the things she didn't need to do or that had little value. Or had her doing something I didn't approve of.

"Do you disagree with them? I took out what I deem unnecessary for her training. We covered more during her initiation than is expected." I point out slowly, reminding him her training was far more intense than the others. There was a chance that no matter what he wanted to add to it, we'd already covered it.

He pretends to think about what I've said. He makes a show of leaning back in his chair, crossing one leg over the other.

I hope his chair falls over.

"She'll need to complete all of it. Not just what you pick and choose." He sets the papers down and looks right at me. "You've negated several important sections, including inter-factional relationships."

I sigh, knowing the socialization is an important aspect according to him. I also know he'd prefer to do that than anything else. "I figured she could work on that later. It's more important to learn the basics instead of focusing on whether or not she can name all of Jack's assistants."

"Part of being a leader here requires Everly to be familiar with other faction leaders. It's mandated for her to know them. We must maintain neutrally pleasant working relationships with the other factions." Max doesn't agree with me. I don't agree with him. Everly will learn nothing by being dragged from faction to faction, attending meetings she doesn't understand with people who don't matter.

Unfortunately, he keeps talking.

"Everly will visit Amity with me in a few weeks, and you can take her to Abnegation, Candor, and Erudite as your schedule sees fit. She will also be required to shadow two leaders other than yourself."

I shift in my seat.

I'd normally be able to bullshit him. Get him to back the fuck off, because she is my trainee. Tell him to find his own. But the look on his face tells me he's actually invested in her now. He's going to make sure she completes every task on his overinflated list of requirements to become a leader, so he can bask in the glory of her success.

"Fine." I give up on trying to get my way, somewhat. "She can shadow Tori and…"

He has other ideas.

"She'll choose them herself, Eric." I look up in irritation, and he looks right at Everly with an amused smile. "You and Jeremy can shadow them together. He still needs to complete that part of his training."

I glare at him even more so when Everly takes his side.

"Okay." She smiles back, having no clue what she's in for.

"She's also required to continue her combat training, along with the two weeks of tactical planning and instructional training."

Fuck no.

My jaw tenses up so painfully, it could snap.

"She doesn't need to learn how to teach the initiates. Isn't that Four's job?" I snarl at him, hating him more and more with every passing moment. I don't really care what Everly does with her training. I had crossed out the parts that were useless. That would slow her down. I had planned to teach her everything someone should have shown me.

That didn't include working with Four.

Max looks back at me and I want to punch him. He stood right next to me as Four's face lit up during her fear landscape, and he'd be just as pleased to finally get his dirty little hands on her. "If the need be, I think Everly would make an excellent addition to the training classes. Look how well she did in yours."

I stare. The room is quiet; eventually, I lean back in my seat as Everly sits up straighter.

"Would I train with Four?" She asks, and I hate when he nods his head yes.

"Four and Lauren."

Well fuck me sideways.

She'll be training with the two people in this faction who are the most suspicious of me. The very two people who might as well marry each other so they could stay up late at night -but not too late- and analyze every single thing I do. Maybe they could also have an Eric themed wedding, and I could be the guest of honor.

"Anything else?" I reach my breaking point, and I snarl the words at him. "If you're so unhappy with what I feel she needs to learn, why not just train her yourself then."

Max blinks at my change in attitude. I'd gone from annoyance to pure loathing. It wasn't that I didn't want Everly exposed to other Leaders or other trainings. Far from it. I could force myself to understand his point, but this is simply to show how in charge he is. I want to remind him that I could make his life miserable, and I'd only refrained because I've been busy.

"Is all this really necessary?" I stare him down, and for once, he's not threatened.

"Just because you want her to train with you and only you, does not mean the rest of the training is unnecessary. You aren't the only leader here, and it'll do her some good to spread her wings a bit."

His words touch a nerve. One I'd been ignoring, the practical and ideal concept of making sure I knew where she was at all times. Making sure she was safe. Making sure no one hurt her. This changed things drastically, and it is clear I don't have enough authority to refuse.

Everly picks up on my extreme annoyance and shifts closer to me.

"What will I do with the other faction leaders?" Her arm touches mine and Max notices. He pretends to shuffle his papers into order, not looking at me.

"You'll meet with them to discuss some security features we're implementing. I'll make sure you have all the details you need before you go. You'll work with them to develop plans that work along their timelines, but you'll also need to make sure they are well aware this isn't optional." He pauses to make sure I'm paying attention. "You'll just need to take a few pages from Eric's book when it comes to bulldozing through their protests."

I hate him.

I stare at him darkly, thinking how pleasant it would be to never see him again. How he's doing this on purpose. I can't figure out why, or what's got him so worked up or suddenly so motivated to work. If I had to guess, I'd assume Lauren came in here in a hissy fit, demanding to know how I'd married Everly. Or maybe Four himself. Maybe he'd sulked enough that Max felt the need to placate him.

Either way, I dislike him interfering in my business and Everly is entirely my business. "Is there anything else you need before we go?"

Max shakes his giant head. "Not off the top of my head. I'll e-mail both of you the list of changes I've made, along with a copy of when they need to be done by. Enjoy your next week off, Everly."

I stand up immediately.

Max flashes a wide smile at the both of us as he stands up at the same time as Everly.

"Oh, and congratulations on the marriage."

I wait until Everly is out the door. I push her first, her shoulders scrunching up as she lets out a yelp of surprise. Then I turn, look directly at Max, and flip him off.

 

 

Everly also ruins my life.

As if she hasn't done enough by taking it over and turning it upside down, she proceeds to pick out the very reason I really didn't want her back in Amity. It wasn't that I was so much afraid she'd go and never come back. I knew she didn't want to live there.

It was who was there.

"Are you afraid I'll run into Landon if I go back to Amity? Is that why you crossed it out?" She asks as we walk to the elevators. I roll my eyes at her, pushing the call button repeatedly, as though that'll make it appear faster. "It's not like I'm going to see him and be overcome with the desire to go back there."

I turn to look at her, hating that she's said his name. I hate so much about this day, and she's certainly not helping. "I'm not afraid of anything of the sort, _Everly_." I say her name nastily, and she knows it. "I've made sure you're well taken care of here. I see no reason why you would even want to visit there."

To my dismay, she shrugs, dismissing the entire issue. "It's not a big deal, Eric. I'd like to be able to see Johanna again. And she'd probably agree to whatever security measures you want to implement if I were the one suggesting them to her."

Well then.

I stare at her, ready to bang my head against the wall.

I mentally add traitor to the list of things I don't know about Everly.

"Then go have fun." I storm past her, nearly knocking her out of the way. I'm so annoyed I can't see straight, and I can't quite figure out what bothers me the most.

So I decide it's everything.

 

"You're being ridiculous."

Rylan graciously accepts a basket of onion rings from Lucy, and he waits until she's a good distance away to keep talking. "That chick hovers more than anyone I've ever met. But really, you really thought Max wasn't going to intervene in your little plans? You scheduled Everly to be with you 24/7. You live with her. You married her. How much more do you really need to see her?"

I eye him darkly, taking a slow and violent bite of the hamburger I'd ordered. I'd stormed past Everly in a fit of rage, the thought of her working with Four exploding in my mind. I'd also thought of her in Amity, endangering her life by simply walking through the faction without anyone giving a shit where she was.

"Fine. He can train her. She can shadow other people. See if I care."

"For someone who doesn't care, you seem to care an awful lot." Jason points out, having been silent most of this time. "Are you afraid someone else will train her? Have her live with them. Months later, they'll silently declare their love for her and marry her without telling her? Over a quiet dinner, they'll inform her it was all for her benefit and now they've signed her up to be in their program."

I swallow my food and plan his death.

"He wants her to work with Four. He wants her to learn to train the class. Why? She's better than that." I narrow my eyes at him, ignoring the mockery on his face I get in return.

"Is she? Being the trainer is an important job. You've done it yourself. Is it the idea that she'll be with Four that's bugging you?" Rylan asks, throwing an onion ring onto Jason's plate. "You can't really have thought he'd let you train her all by yourself."

"Again." Jason interjects, and he winks. "I wouldn't worry. She won't fall in love with Four. No one can love that man."

"Neither of you are actually helping." I snarl, and I press on my temples. My head is throbbing now, the image of her face as I left her standing by the elevator, clear in my mind. "I planned out her training. I don't need him helping with this. She doesn't need to go back to Amity and hang out there."

"Well, not that I think she wants to go hang out in Amity, but I also think it sounds like neither of you have a choice." Rylan answers and he looks at Jason. "You know, she could shadow Jason and me. We'll make sure she stays safe. Tori will look out for her. The only one who really might lose her would be Harrison."

"And Four won't be that bad. Everly clearly likes you more than him. There's nothing he could show her that you haven't already." Jason stares at me and knits his eyebrows together. "She'll have already done everything with you. He won't be impressive at all. In fact, she'll probably be bored. I'm bored every time I see him."

"True." I answer, still annoyed. "Still. It's the principle of things. Max never works. And now he wants to dictate what she does."

"Well, that's shitty, but I don't think you're going to change his mind." Rylan argues, and I sulkily add him to the growing list of people I hate. At this rate, I might as well include all of Dauntless. "Maybe pretend you really don't care. Have her shadow him. He'll hate it when he realizes she knows more than him."

"Whatever." I eat my fries, and I stare at the booth behind them. Clyde's is busy now, and I start to feel antsy. Trapped. I greatly dislike when things don't go my way, but this really isn't going my way. "I'm gonna head down to the gym after this. Either of you want to go?"

"I'll go, but I'm not working out anywhere near you. I'd like to live through this day." Jason waves Lucy back over so he can ask for more ketchup. "It'll all work out. What doesn't work in your favor?"

I shake my head, swallowing down the last of my hamburger.

"More than you'd expect."

 

 

Punching things is the perfect way to distract myself from why I am so worked up.

I focus on the bag in front of me, holding nothing back. I work through Max's face, Four's face, her ex-boyfriend's face, even the face of some random member who gave me a dirty look last week. By the time I'm done, my hands are raw and it's later in the day than I'd planned.

I think of Rylan's words and I stretch my neck from side to side.

Maybe I was being ridiculous. Not entirely, but just slightly.

I could admit I was dealing with this poorly. Sending my wife to her former faction without me, entrusting her safety to the likes of people I didn't entirely trust. I hadn't handled it as calmly as I'd prefer, but I had good reason.

I could have sat down and expressed my worry to Max. Told him I didn't want Everly out under the not so watchful eye of Harrison, while someone hunted her down. I had an inkling of fear that it wouldn't be long before someone tried something. There was a very high chance Ashley would lose her shit when she discovered I'd married Everly, and her retaliation would come in the form of trying to destroy her any way she could. She wouldn't hesitate to start her own witch-hunt if the idea came to her.

Admitting all that was admitting I was a failure. That I couldn't keep Everly safe the way I'd said I would. She would get hurt, and it would be on my hands.

Admitting it also meant bringing up the fact that Everly meant something to me. More than just my prized trainee, more than a future leader I had trained. More than just someone I'd enjoyed sleeping with. I wasn't stupid; in fact, I was smart. Very smart. I knew that I liked her because she was everything I'd never had before. She was pretty and sweet, she liked me, and she had no intention of doing anything but staying with me. I kept waiting for the allure of her to wear off, the appeal of what we had to die down, to wake up one day and find her exactly the same as everyone else.

But it hadn't happened.

In fact, I was so worked up over her, over someone taking her away from me, that I was losing it.

Every day, just a little bit more.

Unfortunately for me, there's not much I can do about it.

 

 

She cut her bangs.

Or grew them out.

One of the two.

She stands in my bedroom, still dressed from earlier. The look on her face isn't entirely apprehensive, but something along those lines. I don't know if she expects me to apologize, but I don't. She smiles, her lips turning up as I stalk past her to head straight to the shower. I don't greet her, I don't tell her she'll survive this training just like the last, and everything will be fine.

Instead, I let myself drown underneath the spray of the water, until my hands ache even more from the scalding heat and my mind is quiet.

Seeing her in person makes it worse.

Knowing she's here, waiting for me, makes me want to march back to Max and tell him to go fuck himself. That she'll complete the training I want her to. But there's protocol here. A level of respect that even I can only push so much. There's also my sanity and giving him reason to think I was becoming unhinged over one girl wasn't going to do me any favors.

So, I push it all down.

Just like everything else.

I turn the water off and stand there, memorizing the tile. I'll let her go do what he wants her to do. I won't be happy about it, but I'll go along with it. I can wait for Four to mess up, because he will, and I can wait for Max to mess up, because he will.

I step out of the shower and grab the first towel I can find. I wrap it around my waist, comb my hair back quickly, and remind myself who I am. That this shouldn't and won't bother me. I stand there a second too long, my grim expression reflecting back at me, before I walk back into my bedroom, right to Everly.

Of course, she's there.

She's seated on my bed, waiting. She tries hard to keep her stare at eye level, not daring to look any further than the towel. I notice her hair is down, dark and shiny, and her feet are pulled beneath her.

"Are you still mad?"

She questions me immediately, doing her best to keep her expression neutral. I can tell she's trying to pretend this doesn't feel like an argument between us, but it does. Very much so.

"No." I lie through my teeth. I press my lips together to avoid saying anything else. I yank open my dresser drawer, tearing through the clothes until I find what I want.

"I'm not mad." I shrug at her, taking a step back toward the bed. "You can train with whoever you want. I'm sure you and Four will have tons of fun together."

She looks up at me.

I think back to her at the market. Her and her friends. The flowers around her. The way everyone seemed to notice she was with me, looking at me as though she shouldn't be.

Her time with Four would be no different.

I undo the towel around my waist, watching her eyes widen in surprise as I step into my boxers.

"I can't wait to hear how much you learn from him."

Nothing.

She'll learn nothing from him, but maybe that'll be alright.

 

 

 

On Monday, I head into my office.

By myself.

Despite my shitty attitude and general hatred of everything and everyone I'd come into contact with, I almost prefer it. I'd left Everly alone, warm in my bed, half asleep. She'd said goodbye, not giving in to my irritation, a far better person than myself.

It felt fitting to sit here, typing away another response, another email, another approval, until my eyes blur and I've stared at my screen so long I swear they're bleeding. I take a break to catch up with Jason, and wind up agreeing to meet him and Rylan for a celebration of sorts. It takes them a while. I'm in no mood to celebrate anything, but eventually they wear me down. I vaguely commit to nine pm, knowing full well I can bail on them if I decide to.

I don't bother to tell Everly.

 

 

 

I work through the rest of the day.

By five, I'm starving. I realize I haven't stopped to really eat, and my head hurts from staring at a computer screen all day. By six, I've nearly finished everything on my list that I had planned to do. By six thirty, I'm done. I'd wasted an hour of my time deleting all of Four's personal information from the system. I'm well aware it's petty, but deactivating his existence, forcing him to schlep back to Max's office and ask him to reactivate everything feels like a small victory.

I look up in surprise when Everly walks through the doorway, not at all dressed like I expect her to be.

"Hi Eric."

"Hi Everly." I answer her easily, shoving aside the papers I'd printed out. It's a revised copy of her training schedule, with copious amounts of changes made to it. I'd signed off on the changes without looking at them and printed it out to go over later. "Did you eat dinner?"

She shakes her head and walks over to me.

I watch her, noticing she's not at all hesitant to walk behind my desk. I like that about her, that she's brave enough to simply head over to me, despite my not having spoken to her all day. When she's close enough, I grab her. I give in to the desire to pull her close to me, yanking her onto my lap. She leans back into my chest immediately, her hair touching my cheek, and her bare legs dangling over my own.

"I was going to make you something, but I didn't know what you'd like. Then Rylan said we were meeting him tonight. But you didn't come home, so I came to find you."

She toys with a pen on my desk, sounding quiet and lovely. I smile even though she can't see it, knowing full well she can't really cook anything. I could show her. I could teach her to make whatever it was she wanted. I mull it over silently, my hand moving to wrap around her waist, and I decide I'm relieved that Rylan had found her.

"Are we meeting them?" She asks softly, and I nod against her.

She smells good; she smells like she always does, partially like something sweet, and a lot like me. I rest my head against hers for a second longer, then pull back.

"Yeah. We should leave now. I'll make us something to eat."

"Okay." She doesn't ask me why I didn't come to get her, or why I didn't come home. She might have assumed this was how I dealt with things, avoiding them until I couldn't. If she had, she was right. It had worked my entire life, so I don't see any reason to change now.

"Hey Eric?" Everly stands up with a hint of reluctance. She slides off my lap and looks down at me. I look up at her, and she smiles ever so slightly.

"What's Clyde's?"

I reach out and take her hand. I examine her slender fingers, and rise up to meet her.

"You'll see."

 

She looks happy.

Happy enough that I wonder if I should have done this sooner.

We sit in the oversized booths along the walls. She glances around every so often, taking in every single detail she can. I watch her look curiously at the bear head above the fireplace, its jaw stretched open to reveal sharp teeth, the gun used to shoot it right next to it. Legend said that this particular bear had wandered into Dauntless years ago, and immediately attempted to maul one of the guards. It was ravenous, mistaking a poor young soldier for a snack, and was promptly shot by a returning patrol squad.

Now, its head sat above the roaring fire, its teeth gleaming in the low lighting.

Clyde's had only been open for a year. One of the older members, a man near his death, had taken every single point he had and thrown it into this small space. When I first heard of what he was doing, I felt it was out of sorts: themed as a hunting lodge, or maybe a mining restaurant, along with the promise of carrying food that was somewhat better than what was served in the mess hall. To my surprise, it turned out well. It is quiet. Dark. Pricey, but worth it. The owner had made a deal with Amity to secure the beers that were served here, and he'd managed to make sure they were exclusive to our faction. He attended the opening day, where members trickled in to check it out, including myself.

It didn't take long for the word to get out. It became an overnight success, and he promptly died a week later.

It isn't a huge space, but it feels like it is. It has a rich flooring that looks like it has been scorched by fire. Plenty of booths line the walls, allowing for tables in the middle. Metal lanterns are strung up to give off some lighting in the shadowy atmosphere. I like the moodiness of it, the way you could sit here all day and watch member after member traipse through the doorways, and the way people are drawn here.

It doesn't feel so much like Dauntless, but like something else. Somewhere else.

Everly certainly likes it.

She leans into me, my arm slung around her shoulder, watching Jason and Rylan. Sure enough, he's brought Meghan, and sure enough, she's loud. Her long hair is a mess of vibrant and dark green, tangled like she'd brushed it in a hurry, and every so often, it gets caught on Jason's watch. They'd already ordered drinks for us, something dark and sweet, and Everly sips hers so slowly it's like she's never consumed anything with alcohol in it before. I idly wonder if she has.

So far, this evening isn't entirely awful.

Everly had looked at me expectantly a few times, and now was no exception. During dinner. During our walk over here. While we were walking in through the doors of Clyde's. While we took our seats in the booth.

I knew she wanted me to say something. But I hadn't addressed anything with her, because I didn't know what she wanted me to say. I wasn't going to apologize for being concerned over her wellbeing. As a result, I had kept silent, until Meghan started talking.

"Okay, okay, everybody. Let's get serious here. It's time for us to really get to know each other."

She practically yells the words, and it's obvious she's not on her first drink. I get a thrill of delight when Everly finds her obnoxious, though she's polite about it. Every time Meghan talks, she presses herself into me, like she's trying to get away from her. My wife clearly has the correct assumption about her: Meghan continues to shriek, growing louder every time she takes a sip of her drink, leaning across the table to get our attention.

Jason finds her hilarious.

He's almost as drunk, having arrived far earlier than our agreed upon time. He cracks up when she knocks her drink over, and occasionally, he stares at her with a lovesick expression on his face. For some reason, he finds her appealing, and she feels the same way about him.

"You start, Meghan. What's the worst place you've ever been caught screwing what's his name?"

Meghan snorts, and her eyes light up. This is a popular game they play that usually ends up with them being mad at one another. They both like to hear about the other's sex lives, up until a certain point. I immediately decide to opt out.

"His name…" She pauses theatrically, like anyone at this table will care. "His name was Emmet, and I have to say it was in the control room equipment closet."

Rylan makes a face of disgust, but Meghan and Jason start laughing. I roll my eyes. Next to me, Everly takes a sip of her drink, shivering as she swallows it.

Meghan cocks her head to the side, and her eyes focus on Rylan. "Just think of that the next time you need to get a modem out of there."

"Gross." Rylan blanches, but even he's a little hammered. He suddenly laughs loudly and turns to Jason. "Fine. Jason, who's the last person you slept with? And don't say Denise because we all know you aren't banging the new nursing assistant."

Jason throws him a dirty look. I vaguely remember him talking about Denise. I want to say she took his blood pressure once, and that was the end of their romantic tryst. I wait for him to say Meghan, but he sheepishly confesses it was someone else.

"Fine." Jason mutters. "Stacie."

I smirk at that one. Everly looks a little lost, the names flying over her head, and Rylan, well, he looks grossed out but also slightly impressed.

"My ex-girlfriend? How was that case of crazy for you?" He winks at him over his drink, and I make a mental note to tell Everly about Stacie at some point. It was a great moment for all of us when Rylan discovered she was stalking him, months after he'd set his sights on Christina and politely dumped Stacie. He'd woken up to her in his apartment more than a few times, even after changing the lock on his door.

Jason looks mildly embarrassed. He flips Rylan off, then shrugs. "She was fine. She said to tell you hello, by the way."

Everly elbows me ever so slightly, and I twirl a piece of her hair around my finger. Eventually, they'd get to her. While I was mildly interested in what they could come up with, I couldn't predict how she'd answer.

I don't have to wait long to find out.

"Everly, what's the most adventurous place you've had sex before?" Jason pulls no punches. He wanted to be friends with her, and in his mind, this was an appropriate way to get to know her. I take a long sip of my own drink, the alcohol burning before I even swallow it, as Everly answers him.

"Outside."

I immediately choke.

The alcohol goes down the wrong way. It coats my lungs, and I try to swallow and force myself to breathe normally.

Outside.

I have a sudden image of her, fucking someone else, outside.

In fact, it's all I see.

She shifts in the seat next to me, and I realize she's gone completely silent as everyone stares at her. Jason's expression is impressed, both at her honesty, and her answer.

I am not.

I'm very bothered by it.

She sinks back against me, and he turns to look at me.

"Interesting. Eric must know all the spots where the cameras aren't. Nice man." He nods his head and keeps going. "Eric where's the…"

"Pass. But nice try." I snap at him. I pick my drink back up, downing it until it's empty. I'd never once expected Everly to be a virgin, but after the past few days, the thought of her with him, with anyone other than me, is enough to push me over the edge. Even a man that existed in her life before I did.

"Oh come on!" Meghan protests as she blinks rapidly. "I'm dying to know who the last person to warm your bed was."

Her voice takes on an entirely different tone. Maybe she's too drunk to realize it. She sounds almost flirty, but mostly drunk. Next to me, Everly tenses up, and my fingers dig into the skin of her shoulder.

Every head at the table turns to look at the two of us.

"My wife." I snarl the answer at her, sitting up straight. I narrow my eyes at her stupidity, and I regret bringing Everly here. This was a dumb idea. It always was, and I should have known nothing good would come of it. "And neither of us will be answering any more questions tonight."

Meghan blinks. Her eyes find my arm around Everly, and she very slowly realizes her mistake. "Oh."

I drop my hand from Everly's shoulder, feeling oddly scrutinized.

"I told you we were celebrating his marriage." Jason yells at Meghan, his voice not even remotely quiet. "You're an idiot."

I say nothing.

Meghan looks like she wants to die. She's not an official part of this group in any manner. But her association with Jason means she's always been welcome. Invited. She's normally stupid, but I feel a flicker of empathy for my friend, because the look on his face tells me he tried to warn her not to say anything too dumb.

My hand falls to Everly's leg. To the bare skin of her knees. She'd worn a dress today, because it's freezing outside and it made perfect sense to her.

"I think it's time for another round!" Rylan waves Lucy over, his motions frantic. He looks over at me once, his eyes holding mine with a silent, coherent apology. I can see him trying to fix this, smoothing it over with more drinks, but I'm done. His distraction does the trick for everyone else. Jason and Meghan begin talking, debating their drink order and Everly relaxes.

I don't.

I think of her.

And him.

Together.

Outside.

I think of the fact that I've only slept with her in my bed. And while that is a feat in and of itself, that I liked her in my bed night after night, it wasn't outside.

It was boring. Very boring. There were lots of places I'd like to fuck her other than my bed. The idea churns in my brain, over and over, and I find myself slowly forming a list of them.

I certainly wasn't about to be outdone by some hick from Amity.

I eye Jason and Rylan, watching them argue over who could drink more, and my fingers leave Everly's knee. I push the fabric of her dress out of the way and trail them up the inside of her thigh. Her legs are parted just enough, but they fall open the higher I trace. She squirms when I stop to lean in close to her ear.

"I had no idea you were so adventurous, Amity."

She lets out a sharp exhale. She'd been holding her breath, her gaze glued to the table in front of her while she waited for me to continue. I oblige her. I knew Everly was brave, and I knew she was certainly a lot of fun, but I'd never pictured her having sex outside. The thought spurs me on, and my fingers continue their exploration until I graze the edge of her underwear. I already know they're pink, or some other pastel color that she was drawn to, and the fabric is as slinky as I'd expect. She raises her stare to Jason, focusing on him while he ponders how much alcohol he can consume this evening.

I barely notice Lucy's arrival. She stands a foot away from me, reciting a long list of specials. Her rehearsed speech drones on forever, but it gives me plenty of time. Not a single person other than Everly is aware of where my hand is, and only I hear the tiny noise she makes as I press the fabric out of my way.

She bites her lip.

Hard.

"Are you feeling adventurous now?" I ask her lowly, working my fingers exactly where I know she wants them. To my delight, she's already turned on, and she makes it easy for me. Despite the way her thighs close together every time I lazily stroke my fingers over her clit, she pushes them open again. Over and over. Her hips push forward, and she lets out a strangled whimper when I slow down.

"Eric."

She groans my name, and I feel myself grow hard.

There's no way anyone else hears her. I wonder if she'd ever groaned his name like this, pleading and soft. Her legs press against my hand as I stroke up and down, with just enough pressure that her breathing grows erratic.

Right in the middle of the bar.

Still, no one notices.

Clyde's is crowded now; those getting off their patrols are heading in for drinks with their friends, and their conversations are loud. Cheerful. Enthused about who they did or didn't find. The happy hour specials are in full force, and there's little free space left anywhere as people vie for a spot.

I keep my stare on my friends, but I watch Everly out of the corner of my eye. Her skin is flushed pink and she fights to keep her eyes open. I can feel her, every single time she moves, and my fingers are slick. I slide them lower. She pushes forward. For a moment, a silent battle rages. There's a chance she could come right here, right at this table, while our friends order their latest hangover. But I don't like that idea. My dick doesn't either.

"Eric." She whines my name when I draw my fingers away from her. There's no other way to describe it. If anyone were listening, she sounds desperate, like she's no longer having fun.

I smirk.

I let my fingers slip right where I want them, grazing down slowly, until I can slide one inside of her. She tenses up immediately, and her eyes finally close. I slip another finger inside, enjoying the way she practically writhes against my hand, especially when my thumb rubs a lazy circle over her clit.

I'd quickly learned what she liked. I'd memorized the look on her face when she came, and just exactly what made her come undone. I know she's close now, and if I keep going, it won't be long before I feel her tighten around my fingers and she really moans my name.

I bend my head back down, and I find the most sensitive skin on her neck. I kiss her there, letting my teeth scrape over the skin, and I smile.

"Don't worry, we're gonna finish this outside in a minute."

I jerk my hand away.

This time, she makes an audible sound of frustration.

"Are you okay, Everly?" Rylan turns his head, his stare falling on her. He takes in her red cheeks and the way she looks worked up, and he frowns in genuine concern. "You look a little red."

"Just a little too much to drink. I think it might be time for us to head home."

Her words come out in a rush, a garbled bunch of nonsense as she looks up at me. Her eyes are dark, both lusty and murderous for me stopping.

I like the look on her.

Luckily for both of us, Rylan buys her excuse.

He nods his head sympathetically. "I wasn't sure if you liked to drink. Take something tonight. Then you won't wake up hung over in the morning."

My fingers dig into the skin of her thigh and she nods. Rylan still looks worried. I can tell he's trying his best to be helpful, but she looks ready to snap.

"Thanks." Everly mutters at him, and she shoves my hand away from her. When I look over at her, she looks ready to kill me.

I make sure my smile is sugary sweet.

Slow.

Patient.

"I just need to pay." I remind her lazily. Her eyes darken even further at my words, and I can see her mind whirling.

"No way, drinks are on us." Jason yells, desperate to make this right. I shrug my shoulders, and I finally move my hand away from her leg. Everyone at the table grins, probably out of relief that we're leaving. I take a final look at Everly before I climb out of the booth awkwardly, trying to ignore the throbbing ache that's growing with every passing second. Everly follows me. I yank her in front of me, her dress tangling at her knees, and I smile at everyone.

"Goodnight!" I cheerfully say goodbye, and Everly accidentally steps back into me, swallowing heavily. I push her forward, and she immediately takes off toward the exit. I stay right on her heels, ushering her through the doors, sneering at everyone we pass. I have no intention of taking her home, and every intention of one upping Landon.

Her shoulders sink down as we walk down the hallway. Her assumption is we're going home, but she's wrong. I walk her toward the railing, right where the waterfall comes into view. She turns to ask me something, and I shove her back against the wall.

"This is far enough."

I'm out of patience. My lips find hers, kissing her like I've been waiting forever for this moment. I snake my arms around her, her tiny body pressed up against mine, and she kisses me back just as desperately. She's frantic from being left in a state of arousal, and I can feel it radiating off her.

In turn, I bite at her. My frustration slips out as I nip at her lips, until she parts them open. A second later, my tongue finds hers, and I use her distraction to my advantage. I slip my hands down her back, under her ass, and lift her up. Her legs wrap around my waist on their own, holding on tightly.

Everything grows hot.

I'm painfully aroused, swollen and hard and aching against the rough fabric of my boxers. I yank her closer, desperate to feel every inch of her. I push against her, hard. She's now perfectly pinned up against the wall, her hands clawing at my hair, trying to pull me closer even though there is not a single millimeter of space between us. I drop one hand away from her, and I work to unbutton my pants.

This is like nothing I'd done before.

I could have done this with anyone.

I could have fucked anyone I wanted, wherever I wanted. But this, with Everly, is something entirely of itself. There's a desperate want radiating between both of us, and it only grows when her hand wraps around my cock, her grip tight and hot.

I grunt against her. She looks absolutely perfect like this, her body against my chest, and her hair spilling everywhere.

"And to think I've only had you in my bed. That's not very fair." I hiss the words at her. They are slow and rough, and if she's paying attention, obviously jealous. The idea of someone else inside of her, her legs wrapped around them as they thrust into her, her head tilting back, her neck exposed, is maddening. Infuriating. Explosively debilitating.

"It never came up." She answers breathlessly, her words gasped. The look on her face is pure honesty. I slide her down until she's standing, then I push her skirt up and around her hips. The fabric bunches in place, and I kiss her, attacking her without a second thought.

I move without actually thinking. I hold onto her hair. I yank on it, fistfuls wrapped in my grip as I nudge her legs apart. When I'm satisfied, I shove my boxers down without stopping but I do pull back from her, and her gaze drops.

Her eyes widen.

I know what she's looking at, and it brings a slow, dark smile to my face.

The piercing she'd asked about.

It's quite obvious she's not expecting to see it. I'd gotten it ages ago, a ridiculous dare from my friends that no one believed I'd actually go through with. Jason and Rylan had gone with me, watching in drunken horror as Bob slid the needle through the underside of my penis, followed by the bar. It had hurt, sure. But it was fleeting; the pain felt good and a rush of adrenaline had followed.

I'd smirked at both of them, not at all uncomfortable even though they were.

Neither Rylan nor Jason pierced anything that night.

Everly takes in the piercing, her eyes bigger than ever, and I'm struck by the sweetness of how naïve she is. The piercing is nothing. A few minutes of my life that proved I was braver than someone else. A week of discomfort, and a few months of making sure it healed properly. Ashley had nearly gagged when she saw it, wrinkling her nose and staring at me like I was crazy, backing away like she'd changed her mind.

Everly reaches for me. Her hands encircle my cock, tightening and sliding up and down a few times, her fingers sliding over the bar every so often. I give in to the sensation of her jerking me off, her fingers grazing the head of my penis, then sliding away before I can really enjoy it. Still, it feels heavenly, especially knowing it's her hand.

My head falls back when she works just a bit faster, and her name slips past my lips as I thrust into her hand. For a second, there is nothing but pure bliss. The sensation of what she's doing is overwhelming. She slows down briefly, sliding her thumb over the tip, then back down my shaft.

My thighs begin to tense up. Everything aches for the release I know is coming, but I refuse to let it happen like this.

I yank her away from the wall.

A few steps later, her hands grasp the rail, and I push her forward. Bending her over, just like the time I snickered behind her, ruining her rifle training. She easily goes along with what I want. I push her forward again; my hands slide underneath her dress, until I can reach her hips. I yank her underwear down, and I'm right. The pink fabric falls to her ankles, and she steps out of one side. I jerk her back into place, lining myself up with her.

"Told you I preferred this position." I hiss at her, and a second later, I push inside her.

While the position is familiar to me, nothing else is. Everly stays still, her hips pushing back oh so slowly, and she rises up on her toes in an attempt to be closer. My eyes close and I can't hear anything. Not whatever she's saying, not the roar of the water, and certainly not the faint voices floating up from below us. I can only focus on how tight she is, how wet she is, how willing she is.

I stay perfectly still for a moment, until the feeling of her around me becomes too much. I thrust in and out of her easily, pleased when she arches her back. I suddenly wish she didn't have her dress on. I wish she had absolutely nothing on, especially like this.

"Fuck. You feel good." I reach for her hair, grasping onto her the best I can. My other hand is on her hip, holding her in place. Everly groans, pushing back against me, and I glower at her. If only he could see her now, her dress around her waist, my hands on her, while I thrust into her from behind. "Did it feel like this with Landon, Amity?"

"No." Everly shakes her head, and her answer is a shaky, uneasy gasp. My grasp on her hip lessens; I reach between her legs, stroking her just like before. Just like in Clyde's. The angle is awkward and it's hard to focus when she's tightening around me, but she reacts just like I want her to.

She lets out a groan of pleasure, and the sound echoes everywhere. I try to focus on her, but it's nearly impossible. She's rocking back against me, grinding against my fingers, desperate to get off. With every second, her whimpering grows louder. There's little doubt she won't last much longer, and her next groan tells me so. I let go of her hair, and I cover her mouth with my hand.

"You better be quiet little Amity. Your friend Karl's down there, and I'm sure he'd love to come see what you're doing."

She lets out a muffled squeak. I don't stop thrusting, and she doesn't stop squirming, but she does quiet down. My words are not a lie and she knows it. Her little friend is one single floor below us, about to cross over a walkway that juts out beneath us. If she keeps it up, these appealing little noises escaping past her lips, he'll hear her.

I thrust harder into her, even more turned on at the thought of him, discovering her in such a position. Just like Landon, I could imagine the look on his face. His shock and dismay, knowing she belonged with me.

Everly groans against my hand, and I slam into her, unable to slow down. Our sex life had been absolutely great in my bedroom, and there was nothing wrong with how we'd been sleeping together. But this is animalistic; it's my lusty desire to be everything to her, to best anyone who'd ever so much as blinked at her, all because she's mine.

"Eric, please." Everly pleads as quietly as she can, her words muffled against my fingers. "I'm so close."

I stroke faster. Everything is slippery and wet, swollen and throbbing.

"Never thought you would like this so much." I grunt out, bending my head down to hers. "I want to hear you say it."

"I like this. I like it a lot." She answers immediately, then gasps as I touch just the right spot. She tightens around me, the feeling so painfully good, I only last a few more thrusts. I slam my hips against her a few more times, riding out the orgasm until the very last second.

She falls back into me. Her breathing is uneven, coming in shaky pants as I slide out of her. The loss of contact is immediate. She shivers in the cold air, and I hold her against me as I pull her underwear back up. I smooth her skirt down, pleased when she mumbles her thanks, and I kiss her quickly. Then again. Then again. She looks dazed when I pull her away, and she tries to comb her hair back into place while I button my pants back up.

I smirk as the sound of boots grows closer, and Everly looks at me with a slow, panicked expression.

"Thought I heard something." Karl mutters. He takes a quick look at Everly, and if he really looked at her, he'd noticed her dress is crooked. It falls off her shoulder, and not on purpose. The fabric is now ruffled. Her hair is a mess, having been ravaged by my grip. Her lips are swollen and her eyes are sleepy. One of her shoes is not entirely on.

He doesn't.

He knows better.

He retreats quickly, leaving without another word.

 

 

 

I hold her hand on the walk home.

Really hold it.

Her fingers laced through mine, her arm touching mine, her hips bumping into me every so often. We walk lazily, taking our time, until we finally reach the apartment. I should drag her to the shower, or maybe to the bed for round two.

Instead, we linger in the doorway. She looks up at me, her eyes finding mine, and her cheeks are still flushed. Her hair is still a mess, and she chews her lip when I step closer to her.

She's never looked lovelier.

It's not the fact that I just fucked her in the middle of the compound. Not that anyone could have seen us, that they'd have caught an eyeful of her and I. It's not that I was so overcome by lust I couldn't wait to get her home, or the fact she willingly went along with it.

It was that she trusted me.

Every day she showed me just a little bit more. She looked past all the bullshit. The stupid disagreement over who she would train with, the fact that I'd left in a fit of rage, or that I'd avoided her all day. At the end of it all, she still trusted me.

I reach for her, touching her lip with my thumb and I smile.

I lean in to kiss her slowly, shoving both my hands in her hair.

She responds sweetly, pressing her lips against mine, and her hands reach for the back of my head. In the distance, a door shuts, someone having caught a glimpse of her and I, but I don't care.

This time, there is no rush.


	18. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Major thanks to Bamerlee for editing this chapter!
> 
> Major thanks for everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter!
> 
> Have a lovely weekend!!

Jason's text messages start around two am.

Either the alcohol has begun to wear off, or he's officially shit faced, because he sends them rapid fire, lengthy rambling thoughts- in groups of twelve at a time. I blearily glance at a few of them, trying to turn down the brightness so it doesn't wake up Everly. The messages are mostly coherent, a few misspelled words here and there and a few forgotten commas, but they're readable.

He apologizes for Meghan over and over again, then for asking Everly that question, then he says he'll meet me for coffee in the morning.

I don't respond to the first thirty-six.

I lie my head back down and close my eyes. My fingers are in Everly's hair, pulling on the strands and twisting them while I think about what he'd done. Him and Meghan asking her a stupid question wasn't the end of the world.

And I had to admit, it wasn't entirely his fault.

I'd been pretty tight lipped about her. I'd given them more information than I had anyone else, but there was plenty I didn't know. Which meant there was plenty they didn't know.

Despite all our time together, little Amity is fairly secretive about her life back in Amity. Not that I wanted to hear about her days wandering around high on peace serum, but she hasn't exactly been an open book.

That left me to assume whatever I pleased.

I could try and piece it all together. I'd seen her ex-boyfriend. The grossly long and dirty hair, the beard, his pleading expression for her to come back, the way he'd assumed she'd fail out of Dauntless.

I could assume that when he looked at her, he saw a multitude of reasons why she'd fail out of her initiation. Why she should return to him. I could imagine he'd grown up knowing her, spent his days longing for her, until he had finally gotten what he wanted. It was obvious he didn't believe she'd ever make it in Dauntless, and he had decided the safer bet was to stay in Amity with him.

But I didn't know any of that.

She hadn't told me.

She'd been pretty quiet herself, only letting it slip that her brother had taught her how to fight. During her training I'd goaded her enough that she'd confessed he'd helped her so she could come here. Judging by her disappointment that no one showed up to visit her, I'd say the decision to come here was hers and hers alone.

It still left plenty I didn't know about her. I had a few things I'd figured out, things I saw that others didn't, but I figured she'd eventually fill me in on the rest of it. There was plenty I didn't want to tell her, so it worked out for the both of us. In the end, her past didn't really matter to me. I didn't need to know every single detail of her homelife, nor did I want to hear about her times with Landon.

Or maybe I did.

Maybe that's why her confession about fucking him outside had sent me into a fit of rage. Because I wanted every single detail about her, and I'd been granted only a handful.

My phone vibrates again, and this time, Jason has sent twenty-four messages. Asking me to meet him for coffee, and please- otherwise he'll just show up to fix this.

I start to type something back to him, but it's late, and I'm tired. Everly makes a tiny sigh, pushing herself closer to me, and I fall asleep before I can answer him.

 

 

The knocking starts early. Far earlier than I'd like someone to be banging on my door.

I decide to kill them. I sit up slowly, or at least try to. I've got Everly wrapped around me, clinging onto me for dear life. Her head is buried in my shoulder, in a way that couldn't be even remotely comfortable, but she'd slept like that for most of the night. She digs her fingers into my chest when I try to sit up, and her leg presses into mine in a strange attempt to keep me anchored in place. She doesn't open her eyes, but groans in protest when she thinks I'm leaving.

Her warm body is far more appealing than answering the door, so I lie back down and readjust us. I pull her against my chest in a more comfortable position, settling her where I want her, and I shut my eyes.

"They'll go away." I announce, mostly into her hair. I think of the last few times someone had been knocking, and it solidifies my thoughts that maybe someday, she and I will move.

She seems to agree. She nods. Her arm tightens over me as the knocking picks up again. It doesn't last long- another few minutes until the person gets the hint I'm not answering the door.

Then, just as abruptly as it started, it stops. I fall back asleep with Everly on top of me, content as ever.

 

 

I wake up at eight thirty with a start.

I sit up abruptly. Everly sort of falls off me and onto her own pillow, but she doesn't wake up. She turns over, buries her face in my pillow, and drifts back off to sleep immediately.

I'm late.

I had work I'd planned to do today. At some point, I'd have to find Jason, and I'd have to talk with him. I knew he was afraid I'd never forgive him for asking her such a question, but he shouldn't be. I wasn't entirely furious he'd immediately jumped to her sexual history. In his mind, that had been the fastest and best way to get to know her. He was used to Rylan and Meghan, where nothing was off limits and asking someone where they'd fucked last was a completely normal question.

In reality, I should probably thank him. My night had taken a rather pleasant turn, and it was all thanks to him.

I climb out of bed slowly, stopping to take one final look at Everly.

She's barely visible beneath the covers. All I can really make out is a mess of tangled hair, the dark strands having been ravaged by me last night, and one hand. I smirk, thinking of her bent over the railing, lustily informing me just how much she enjoyed our time together, and how good it felt.

Having her like that, completely vulnerable and in the middle of the compound had been the ultimate high. There was a huge chance someone could have walked by, and there was a definite chance that the control room had gotten an eyeful.

I knew exactly who was up there.

If she was going to work with Four, then so be it. But I'd like to see him look her right in the eye with a straight face, knowing he'd watched her have the living daylights fucked out of her right by the chasm. He would have seen it, of course. There were a few different camera angles he'd have flipped through, and I could imagine the slow horror when he realized what was going on. That no matter which camera he selected, there she was. On her toes, arching her back into me, my hand over her mouth.

I'd made sure she was mostly covered up. I could have ripped her fancy little dress off and tossed it to the side, but I hadn't. I liked keeping that little sight just for me and only me. But I had to admit, there was something incredibly pleasing about knowing he'd have seen her like that, while he sat there all alone.

He would have watched us walk home after. Her hand in mine.

I think of her while I head into the shower, washing my hair and zoning out beneath the warm water. I think of her gasping how much she liked it, how I'd subconsciously never taken her from behind because it felt grossly close to what I'd done with Ashley. Like I couldn't quite bring myself to fuck her that way, because she wasn't Ashley. But this had been different. It wasn't fucking just to get off. I'd made sure Everly was satisfied, even while drunk on the arousal between us. I'd made sure to clean her up and get her dressed, and I'd kissed her after, slowly and lazily, holding her against me until her legs weren't so shaky.

I rinse my hair, thinking of her in bed not long after that. She'd gone to bed slightly pink. She'd looked lovely; her skin flushed, her hair everywhere, her nightgown unnecessarily on. Before finally falling asleep, I'd kissed the top of her head. Not because I was disgustingly romantic or because I felt like I needed to, but because I wanted to kiss her, and she was half asleep. So, I'd settled for that, and I'd fallen asleep with my head tilted toward hers.

I bet Landon's time with her was nothing like this.

I bask in the ultimate glory of our night together. I shut the water off, and head toward the sink, grabbing a dark towel and slinging it around my waist. I'm in no real hurry now. I'm already late, and my work isn't of any pressing importance that it couldn't wait another hour. Truth be told, I could probably have gone in after lunch, so I allow myself the luxury of taking my time.

I wipe off the mirror and reach for the shaving cream.

I wonder if I should make her breakfast.

I try to decide this while I slather the shaving cream on my face, making sure it's neat and even. I only pause to turn when the bathroom door opens. I'm not entirely surprised to see Everly walk through it, but she stares at me like she's never seen me before. She walks right up next to me, her hair still a mess and her eyes sleepy, but she looks very much alive. Her eyes trace over my arms, my chest, and finally up to my face. I smirk when she stops beside me, and she easily pushes herself up onto the vanity to sit next to me.

"Everly." I raise my eyebrow at her, the way she's watching me intently, and she smiles. "Well you certainly look well rested."

She fights the blush that creeps across her cheeks, and I smirk again. She's clearly been thinking about last night, and if her posture tells me anything, she's never quite experienced anything like that in her life.

Neither had I.

I open up the cabinet, fumbling for a moment while I grab a sharp razor, and I shut the door. She stays quiet while I start one side, eyeing my actions carefully. Occasionally, she kicks her feet, tilting her head to see what I'm doing. I work methodically, enjoying the way the razor makes a scraping sound as the shaving cream vanishes, leaving my skin perfectly clean behind. I rinse it once, then return to the next section. This is much slower than how I'd shave in the shower, but I prefer this method.

The straight razors had been hard to find. I much prefer them over the cheaply produced ones that are sold here. I like the weight of these, the cold snap when you opened them up, and the danger that came with every swipe.

I'd given Rylan one. Once. He'd used it exactly twice, and after nearly needing a blood transfusion from his lack of discipline while shaving, he'd gone back to the shitty disposable kind.

Everly watches me with an intense focus. After some time, she reaches out to touch my hand.

"Can I do it?"

I stare at her.

She's looking at me hopefully, and after a moment of mental debate, I hand her the razor. I move to stand between her legs, right up against the cabinets. I step very close to her, tilting my jaw up slightly, and I realize either she'll do a fantastic job, or I'm about to bleed out in my bathroom.

She can tell I'm hesitant.

"Do you trust me?" She asks curiously, and I work hard not to smile at the slight insult in her tone. I suppose I trust her in a few ways, but maybe not with a razor blade against my jugular. I shrug slightly, pleased when she doesn't waste another second.

She reaches up, pressing the blade against my skin. She slowly swipes it upward, carefully, and her actions mirror my own.

"Can I ask you something?" She is focused on my throat, her motions occasionally slower than I'd prefer considering she's got a sharp object against my skin, but I grunt in response. I have a feeling she's going to ask me about Jason, and I suppose I could answer that.

"Did you sleep with Ashley?"

Or not.

I don't move.

She asked right as she pressed the razor against the bottom of my throat. While I'm silent, she glides it up, over the tattoos, and under my jaw. Her legs tighten around me, an unconscious act to trap me into answering her, and I wait until she turns to rinse off the shaving cream.

"Am I supposed to answer that question because you've got a razor blade against my throat?" I eye her warily. She looks small sitting before me, her collarbone sharp as she shifts, but she's serious.

"Just answer the question." She replies, and her tone reveals she's not joking. She really wants to know, perhaps as some form of payback for bringing up Landon. Her blush last night had told me she knew she'd confessed something intimate that didn't involve me, and it was slightly embarrassing for her. I shift my weight from side to side, tilting my head up to give her better access, and she works to continue shaving my face.

I debate answering her question, because I get the feeling she already knows the answer. I stare at our reflections in the mirror, and I wait until she's done before I grudgingly respond.

"Yes."

She looks crushed.

It's the only word I can come up with to describe it. I've spent plenty of time around her, so I can see the way her eyes fall, and her lips threaten to turn downward. My stomach knots up unpleasantly as she sinks into herself. It's not a lack of confidence on her part, it's my confirmation that the girl she'd encountered in the bathroom, the one who tried her best to get to Everly, was telling the truth. Everly stares at my throat, biting her lip before she presses the blade to the next section of my throat, and unfortunately, she keeps going.

With her questions and her shaving.

"In your bed?"

Her voice is dangerously soft.

I wince at the tone. I have a feeling she's asking these questions for a very specific reason. I rationalize to myself that I don't have to answer her. I could tell her to get the fuck out of my bathroom and be quiet. That really, just like how her secretive little past isn't public knowledge, neither is mine.

But the way she looks up at me makes me grit my teeth. I feel like she's in this far too deep now, and she refuses to back down.

I haven't done much to dissuade her, either.

"Yes."

She nods her head at me. I immediately wish I hadn't answered her. I can't quite put it into words, because none of it makes sense to me. Ashley had been a means to an end. She was a cure for my boredom. She helped satisfy the primal urge to sleep with someone, and for a while, she was the safest and easiest option. I could make sure she was silent about it, and I didn't have to pay much attention to her. Our arrangement solely benefited me, and Ashley clung onto it in hopes it would turn into something more.

I had brought her back here, to my apartment, to my bedroom. It was the most private place I could think of. I wasn't going to screw her in my office, or on the conference room table. I'd made sure she was only here a short while, and when I was done with her, I was done. She got dressed and left, always throwing me a pointed look that hinted she'd like to stay. Or maybe at least have been called by her name.

It was nothing like what I did with Everly. I'd found myself forgetting that my original plan of sleeping with her because I could- had blown up in my face, and now it was because I wanted to. Because when it was her and I, it all made sense.

Unfortunately, I can't explain all that to her. Admitting she's different, that this is different, that the past few times I'd slept with her as my wife and not just some girl in my bed, made it all the more complicated.

Everly stays quiet.

She doesn't say anything. She slides the razor over my cheek, making sure the skin is perfectly clean before rinsing the blade in the water. Her fingers lightly touch the skin where she'd shaved, and she frowns. I pull back from her slightly, catching her stare when she looks up at me, and I open my mouth without thinking.

"She never slept in my bed. Not like you do."

I make sure she hears me. Her green eyes are locked on mine, and I hope she understands. That my desire to keep her with me had paled in comparison to my desire to keep her safe. Now that pales in comparison to keep her with me because of what I felt for her. This wasn't Ashley, this wasn't some girl from the bar who I'd never bothered to ask her name.

It was something else entirely.

Everly exhales sharply, and she resumes her work on the other side of my face. She works more quickly on this side, having gotten the hang of using a straight razor, and I stand very still. Once done, she examines my face intently to make sure she hasn't missed anything, her fingers lingering.

"Eric…"

She says my name hesitantly, and I take the razor from her before she can decide to use it for something else. I wash my face off, pat my skin dry, and when I look up at her, she's staring at me. But her gaze is a million miles away. She leans forward, her fingers following along the edge of my jaw, her lips parting. This bathroom seems to have grown far too small. The air is warm and heavy, especially when she stops at my neck.

"Did you love her?"

My eyes fly up to hers. I loathe that she's asking me this question. I'd never once asked her if she loved the man she left behind, and I could live my life just fine without ever knowing the answer.

"No." My answer is rough. Short. Just as sharp as the razor blade she'd run over my skin. I swallow down the urge to leave her sitting there, because her hands are still on me. Her fingers have curled in, and I know what's coming.

I lean into her, my nose brushing against hers, and my lips about to touch hers. I can shut her up easily if I try.

"Do you lo…"

I kiss her very gently. Unusually slowly. I stop her from asking me what will only further disappoint her. For a brief second, I linger against her lips, hers soft and familiar, until I break away.

"Don't ask me what you're about to ask me." My words are flat. Purposeful. Telling. She nods her head at me silently, and I reach for her. My hands find her arms, skimming down them. "And if you must know, I prefer you, and only you, in my bed. Underneath me. On top of me. However you want it."

I don't wait for her to answer me. I grab her waist, picking her up off the counter and easily taking her along with me. I head out of the bathroom, right toward the bed, and I gracelessly drop her onto the mess of sheets. Despite my answers being nothing she'd wanted to hear, she smiles up at me, my own shirt bunching up around her thighs, sliding off one shoulder.

I can't love her.

I have no reason to.

I can like her, and I do. I like her as my wife, as the person I come home to at night, as the only person I'd ever allow to touch me like she just had. But the idea of loving her, something so selfless and impractical, makes no sense. She can be married to me just fine without me loving her. I'll still take care of her. I'll still do everything in my power, down to my last minutes on this Earth to make sure she's safe. Happy. Content. Satisfied.

But loving her isn't something I can do.

I undo the towel around my waist, tossing it onto the floor and climbing onto the bed. I can show her, that I will give her whatever I can. That what we have may never be what she was dreaming of, but it's all I have in me. And if that isn't enough, then she should get out now, despite my wanting her to stay.

My mouth finds hers, my hands find hers, and it's not long before her questions are long forgotten.

I decide I won't answer any more of her questions.

For her own sake.

 

 

"Yeah, so I'm…really sorry dude. Maybe I should have starting by asking her something else."

Jason looks at me with a forcefully apologetic stare. I was right about his barrage of incoherent messages last night. He hadn't drunk himself into a total oblivion, but he'd spent a lot of time regretting asking Everly such a question.

"I didn't…I didn't know she'd fucked some dudes in Amity. I didn't know you were so uptight about it, either."

"It's not…it wasn't a bunch of dudes. It was one." I mutter, sitting down in the breakroom chair. He'd found me on my walk in. His stalkerish ways had worked out for him: he roughly yanked my arm to get my attention and I'd gone along with him to make coffee. Once there, he'd started making…something. He'd instructed me to sit and wait, and since my morning was already off to a terrible start, I'd obliged him. "And I'm not uptight about it. I just should have told you so you didn't bring it up."

"You choked on your drink." Jason points out, and he slides some toast at me. I stare at the avocado spread on top of it in confusion, wondering where his culinary talents had come from. "Don't you dare look at it like that. Quinten had never even heard of this before and now it's his favorite. He did say something about avocados being expensive and you never want to approve them…"

"I'm not approving.…this. And to be honest with you, no. I don't want to hear about who she slept with." I press my lips together, and shift in the seat. "I just… I was surprised at her answer, that's all."

"Oh yeah, who would have thought that she likes to get freaky outside. Is she bad in bed?" Jason asks, taking the largest bite of his own toast and swallowing it quickly. "Or not bad, but not like, you know that other one?"

"We already discussed this. She's a little inexperienced but it's not anything to complain about." I mutter. In fact, I had nothing to complain about. I'd never had this much sex in my entire life, and I still spent a lot of time thinking about having sex with her again.

He zeroes in on what I've said immediately. "But she had sex outside. With someone else."

"Yes, back in Amity." I grind my teeth together. "With some dude who looked like every other guy in Amity."

"He sounds hideous." Jason offers, and I stare at him blankly. "But you don't really know about him? Or you do? Because you basically dragged her home right after that. I thought maybe it started a big fight. I didn't want you two to leave."

I take a slow bite of the toast, and I mull over what he's said. I've become very used to everyone's sudden interest in my life. Especially my friends. Their desire to know all my secrets had reached an all-time high, because really- what else was there to focus on? The threat of the Divergents? Jeanine looming over us? The factionless rebelling? The memo about the new serums they'd just sent out? Clearly, the most important thing going on was how I felt about Everly's life before she came here.

"I only know a few things." I look at him, shrugging and pretending I don't care. Because I don't. Really. "Her life in Amity was just that. Life in Amity. I don't need to tell her about every girl I've slept with, and I don't need to hear about Landon."

"Landon." Jason repeats, and he makes a face. "Even his name is stupid."

His words make me smile.

I can't even stop my reaction, because his disgust is pure. He's never met Landon, never seen him, and wouldn't even know if he walked right in front of him. But I can appreciate his immediate disapproval for my sake.

"He told her she could come back. If she failed here." I tell Jason while debating eating another bite of the toast. "I saw him when we went to Amity. He kept talking to her and she kept frowning. At one point he tried to kiss her, and she didn't take it very well."

"Scorned lover. Scandalous." Jason dramatically waves his toast in the air. "She left to escape from him. I bet he was horrible to her."

I roll my eyes at him.

"I'm sure he was fine. I think he wanted his life in Amity to stay the same, and her leaving put a kink in that plan. It was obvious he didn't believe she'd ever amount to anything. I think he was planning on her staying there and being nice and quiet." I give in to his desire to simply talk, and it's not entirely awful. If I'm honest with myself, it feels nice to sit and theorize with someone other than myself. "I don't think anyone thought very much of her."

"That's shitty." Jason declares, and he finishes his toast in a single bite. "I mean, it's shitty that he loved her and still didn't think she had it in her to come here."

I look at him slowly, and a slow wave of dread washes over me.

"What's wrong?" Jason asks. "You look ill."

"I…" I can't continue. I don't know what I was about to say. I'm stuck thinking about whether or not he really did love her, and if that's why she was going to ask if I loved her. Maybe she'd mistaken my affection for her to be more than it was. "You think he loved her?"

Jason shrugs. "Uh, yeah. You said he tried to kiss her. And she fucked him outside. It sounds like they were in love. I wouldn't have sex in the grass with just anyone. Think of the bugs. The hives."

"Everly…" I start to stay, but I stop.

"Everly…" Jason repeats, when I stay silent, and he gestures for me to continue. "She…"

"She wanted to know if I loved her." The toast feels like lead in my stomach, my disapproval of avocado toast suddenly justified. "She asked me this morning if I did."

"Did you tell her yes?" Jason questions and I shake my head.

"No. I told her no. I don't love her. That's ridiculous. I barely know her." I reach for my coffee, and I hope it'll dissolve the terrible toast he'd made. "I don't know what she expects from me, but I can't give her that."

He looks at me in confusion.

"I, um, I'm pretty sure she expects you to eventually love her."

"Why would she think that?" I shrug at him, disliking his expression. "Why are you looking at me like that? Like you're about to laugh."

"Because." He answers slowly. "You married her. You got all butt hurt about her ex-boyfriend, and you want us all to make sure she stays alive and no one else can come near her, oh and you ordered her uniform to be made like, ten weeks early so it would match yours, when she still had a chance to fail out of here. And let's not forget, you refused to tell anyone you actually liked her, but really, you come home to her every night, looking smug as fuck, and you wander the hallways with your hand in hers. But no, there's clearly no chance you'd ever love her."

"No, there isn't." I answer him just as flatly as I'd answered her. "That's cute and all, but it's not what it is. I'm not about to profess my love in front of the faction or show up with flowers just because I like being with her. I married her because I don't want her to get hurt. Did you not hear me the first time I explained it?"

Jason stares at me.

For a long time.

"What um, what exactly do you think love is? Just out of curiosity."

"Jason?" I jerk my stare from the wall, back to him. "What are you going on about?"

"I don't know. I'm not in love with anyone, but it sounds like you uh, well it sounds like you could possibly love her. In some ways. Maybe not like, an ooey gooey love where you can't be apart for two seconds. Actually, wait." He stops, smiling widely, and I glare at him.

"No."

"Hey, man, look. I'm just saying it's not the end of the world to feel something for her." Jason, suddenly the most knowledgeable armchair psychologist in Dauntless nods his head at me. "You've liked her for a while. You are bothered by her being intimate with someone else. You're more bothered that he thought so little of her. I'm just saying…if the shoe fits, lace that bitch up. You can love her. She's not going anywhere. Maybe, if you two admit you love each other, you can hear about Landon, she can hear about Ashley, you'll both heal each other's wounds, move on, and you'll live happily ever after."

I swallow down the rest of my coffee in a single gulp.

"We're done here."

"You know, Eric. Someday, you'll thank Rylan and me. When you're still happily married to your wife, who somehow has always had your last name, and you're no longer pretending to be an emotionless robot, you'll owe us. Because for someone so smart, you're dumb as fuck." With that, he crosses his arms over his chest and scowls. "Also, accept my apology right now. I didn't mean to ask about Landon and I'm sorry if it brought up all kinds of feelings you don't want to deal with."

"Apology rejected." I snap back, and he scowls even further.

"You can't reject my apology, you asshole."

I roll my eyes. "I can. And I will. Don't ask Everly any more stupid questions. I don't need you putting ideas in her head."

Jason's eyes light up and he smiles threateningly. "Oh, I get it. You're blaming me for bringing up Landon because that somehow related to her wanting to know if you love her. Well since it's my fault, I'll answer her for you. Right now. You're welcome in advance."

"NO. You don't even know where she is." I roar at him, standing up ready to strangle him. But he's fast. For someone who drank his body weight in alcohol, he's out the door before I take a single step.

I groan, letting my head fall back and closing my eyes briefly. This is exactly why I didn't need to share anything with anyone, ever. They took it and literally ran with it. Who knows what he'd tell her, and there was now a great chance I'd come home to her wanting to know if what Jason said was true.

But before I can decide to go after him, Four walks right into the break room and his eyes meet mine. He immediately throws me a dirty look, and turns around to storm out, slamming the door behind him.

I smirk as it bounces back open when Harrison walks through, muttering in confusion about how rude Four is. I can see Four stomping away, rubbing at the back of his neck as he tries to avoid Linda. Unfortunately, he's too slow. He gets stuck when she asks him something, and she traps him in the hallway.

He locks eyes with me when I step out of the breakroom, and he glares. To my delight, he looks rather disgruntled.

I smile at him, widely, until he looks just as violent as he pretends not to be.

 

 

 

Jason sends me a message not much later.

I read it quickly, sighing in relief when all it says is 'I told her I was sorry'.

I respond back thanks, sending it just as he replies with another text.

I'll keep your secret for now. But you should tell her at some point.

I don't answer him.

I do throw my phone onto my desk, shutting my eyes tightly and I realize he's not going to let this go.

Great.

 

 

 

At eleven, Arlene waltzes into my office with a stack of papers. I reach for them, and she takes the seat in front of my desk, her eyes greedily searching every wall for something different. When she finds nothing, she focuses on me.

"Six new serums. Erudite's certainly been busy." She cocks her head to the side and frowns. "Also, are you aware Everly is due for all of her follow up immunizations. It's important to keep her up to date, especially now."

"Why now?" I ask, signing the bottom of the page. It's not Everly's paperwork like I was expecting. It's a form that needs my signature on the date to begin administering the new vaccines to the faction, including a trial period for the serums in very low doses. "And no, I wasn't. I was under the assumption she'd get them eventually. Obviously, I'd like to have her vaccinated against these newest serums as well. See if you can get started early. I don't want her reacting to any of these."

"I figured. I have some samples I can get started with. And she should be up to date on any vaccines in case of pregnancy."

I look up from the paper slowly, to Arlene's innocent grin.

"Pregnancy? She's on birth control. Birth control that you, yourself, administered." I stare at her, and I raise an eyebrow at her. "For fucks sake, I hope you actually administered it and not some placebo."

Arlene raises her own eyebrow at me. "Of course, I gave it to her. Having an initiate get knocked up by her trainer wouldn't have looked very good for either of you. But the shot isn't permanent, Coulter. It wears off after a few months. She's supposed to get it routinely. I have no way of contacting her since the number you listed for her is the same as yours. And when I called yours, it didn't go through."

"I blocked your number." I answer easily, and she has the audacity to look insulted. "You don't need to call me. Ever."

"Then enjoy picking out a crib." Arlene snaps, and I stare at her. "You and I both know she's young and healthy. She could easily wind up pregnant since you clearly can't keep your hands off her. If you continue being so…adventurous, you'll need to think about moving to a bigger apartment."

She looks at me with a very knowing smirk, and I roll my eyes. My little event against the chasm railing was really making the rounds.

"Did Four come in for some anxiety medication? Such a shame his eyes would have to witness such a sight. I'll make sure to approve his time off request so he can recover."

"Keep it in your apartment, Eric. I don't have the infirmary staff to support a wave of pregnancies when you give the faction some new ideas to spice things up."

I snort at that.

"Fine. I'll send her your way today. Give her the shots. All of them. Especially, the birth control." I wave her away, but she doesn't budge.

"You might like a baby. They're fun. The kid might look like you."

"Please leave." I don't sound at all polite. Arlene doesn't notice or isn't bothered by it.

"Have her come down to see me. I'll make sure she's up to date." Arlene finally stands up, and she stares at me.

"What?"

"Did you tell your father you got married yet? Or are you waiting for the generic announcement to go out?" She asks, and her tone changes. "You could at least call him."

"I could do a lot of things but I choose not to." I point out, and this time, she gets the hint.

"You should call him."

"No thanks." I type nonsense on my keyboard, pretending to be busy while she waits.

Eventually, she gets the hint that I'm ignoring her. She leaves in a huff, taking her papers along with her, and I enjoy the silence once the door shuts. This day has left me feeling sort of queasy. Far too much talk about feelings and love, and now, the added bonus that if my wife didn't keep up on her birth control, I could wind up getting her pregnant.

I try not to think about that last one as I stalk home to find her.

 

 

Everly peers up at me from beneath her bangs, her green eyes blinking her dismay. I don't like the way her face falls, and as painful as it is for me to tell her this, I inform her she has to go see Arlene. In the next hour.

"She said I never have to go back there."

Her protest is pretty. She pouts up at me, her lower lip sulking at the thought of being in Arlene's presence, and I agree with her. I'd rather jab my eyeballs out than make an appointment to see Arlene. But I can't risk her getting pregnant. She'd definitely think I loved her then, and I'd never hear the end of it. From everyone.

"Well, she's a liar." I announce brightly, trying hard to ignore the way Everly steps closer to my chest. I'd stopped home briefly, with the intent of shooing her into Arlene's office. The appointment should be quick: I was having her vaccinated against the new serums to make sure she wouldn't be affected by them. I was also having her birth control shot administered, though she had signed up for that one on her own. "It's just… you have to go. All members do."

"Today?"

Her arms slide around my waist, and she tilts her head up even further, until we lock eyes. "You don't think I could go tomorrow? You could stay here with me instead. We could go lie down for a little bit. I'm kind of tired but not really that tired."

She reaches up, her fingers finding the zipper on my jacket, and I do my best to pretend my wife isn't trying to seduce me into bed to avoid getting a shot.

"I'll meet you after. Then I'll take a nap with you."

I shoot down her little plan quickly, before I actually give in to her. I have to confess, her idea is way better than going back to work, but the idea of Arlene storming up to find us is enough to make me shake my head.

"Promise."

I kiss her forehead, disgusted at myself for such an affectionate act. But I like her against my chest, her arms wrapped around me, especially when she rises up on her toes to kiss me.

"Fine." She mumbles.

She kisses me very sweetly, all soft and slow, like someone who could possibly love someone.

It makes it all the worse when she's the one to break away, and I'm stuck standing there, wishing she hadn't stopped.

 

 

 

Forty-five minutes later, Arlene sends an email confirming my wife is now up to date on all her vaccinations, as well as her birth control.

She does, however, suggest we seek out the family planning counselor in the health offices and she'd be happy to help me schedule such appointment.

I immediately block Arlene from emailing me ever again.

 

 

 

I return home to a quiet apartment.

I shrug off my uniform jacket, tossing it onto the counter and glancing around. I'd worked through my lunch break, eating with Harrison while he talked about something he saw in the woods. He swore up and down it wasn't a bear, but that it looked like a bear except six feet taller.

I halfway listened.

I was reading the email from Jeanine about water distribution per faction, and how much each faction used. It was a mind-numbing report, but it didn't take a genius to figure out what she was doing. If her little serums were successful, and she didn't have a way to distribute them- because some factions simply refused them, she'd put something in the water. I tried to figure out how it would work. The water supply lines were massive. They carried thousands of gallons of water beneath the city, and the amount of serums needed would be immense. I was almost at the end of the report when Harrison loudly declared he'd find out what was in the woods once and for all.

I told him good luck.

I'd spent the rest of my afternoon working on a list of weapon rotations, wondering if perhaps we should be using something more powerful.

By the time I left, I was more than desperate to see Everly. I wanted to return home to her, especially to make sure Arlene hadn't been obnoxious to her. I'd make dinner. Eat next to her. Maybe let her pick out some movie, hopefully not one of the terrible ones, and I'd touch her. She might not feel amazing after the shots, so we could watch the movie in bed. She could lie on my chest just like always, and I'd run my fingers through her hair until she fell asleep. If she felt fine, maybe I'd try to show her that I didn't have to tell her I loved her to make her happy.

Unfortunately for me, I come home to silence.

Her things are on the counter. The paperwork she'd brought home and her keycard. I walk into the bedroom, thinking maybe she'd taken a shower, or maybe she was organizing her clothes from pink to pinkest, then black to blackest.

To my dismay, she's doing neither. She's sound asleep, curled up in a tiny ball beneath my covers. Her breathing is slow and deep, and her skin has a lovely, wretchedly pale tone to it.

I immediately grow oddly angry. I don't want her asleep, drugged from the injections and sickly looking. I wanted her awake, with me, just fine. I turn and step away from the bed, catching my glare in the mirror. I swallow down the disappointment I feel, embarrassed at myself for feeling such a dramatic and childish emotion. I was being ridiculous. I could eat dinner alone. I'd eaten alone for most of my life, and one more meal by myself wouldn't kill me.

It doesn't make me feel any better when I sulk on the couch, eating a sandwich without much enthusiasm.

 

 

She sleeps so long, I begin to wonder if something is wrong.

I check on her every so often. She's always the same: fast asleep, her eyes closed, her head on my pillow, and her shoulders peeking up beneath my sheets. I have the urge to wake her up, to ask her what happened and why she doesn't feel good, but I don't.

Instead, I shoot myself in the foot by calling the one person I'd sworn I wouldn't.

"Hello, Eric. How are you?"

Daniel sounds appropriately wounded.

I recognize the tone immediately, and his hurt feelings make me dislike him all over again. I'd been ignoring his phone calls off and on for a few weeks. By now, he'd have been told I'd married Everly. He would have been alerted to the status change out of political politeness, and he was reacting just as I'd expected. Like he should have been there. He should have known. I should have called him to tell him what I was doing. In his head, he would have conjured up a scenario in which an elaborate wedding was held, and he wasn't there. I'm sure he would have used such an event to further boast about how wonderful and smart he was, and it probably killed him to lose out on such a chance.

But I had called him because I needed to ask him something, and my choices were either him or Arlene.

And I refused to call her after her last email.

"I'm fine. I have something to ask you."

I have a clear image of him in my mind. I can see him tense up, this moment the one he's been waiting for. Unfortunately, I'm not calling to talk about my marital status, or anything of the sort. I'm calling to make sure I don't need to take Everly back to the infirmary.

Whatever Arlene had given her, it had done a number on her. She'd been asleep since I got home, only waking up once to wander to the bathroom. I'd immediately gotten up off the couch, not even bothering to pretend like I wasn't sitting in dead silence just so I'd hear if she woke up, and I'd met her when she walked back into my bedroom.

She was half asleep.

She'd blinked at me, her bangs pushed to the side, her skin still pale, and I swear, she looked right through me. I wondered if she was sleepwalking, and something that felt like gross, hot panic rose up when she walked right by me and climbed back in bed without a single word. She turned over onto her other side, shut her eyes, and that was it. No greeting, no recognition of who I was, no mumbled explanation of what she was doing. Nothing.

I gave into the panic.

I paced the living room, grabbing my jacket and my phone, ready to find Arlene. Everly could be having a reaction to the serums. They could already be working. I knew full well there was a chance they'd be used to induce a simulation like state, and that was my fear. By giving her the trial version in a low dose now, she'd build up a tolerance to it, making them less effective, or hopefully, entirely ineffective.

I froze when my phone lit up, an email from Quinten appearing across the screen, and I swiped it away.

Immediately, I realized I had a better option. Someone who I could ask, but who wouldn't be able to sprint up the stairs and come here.

I called Daniel.

He didn't work on the serums, but he could tell me if her symptoms were normal. Involving Arlene meant a great chance she'd come up here and use it to her advantage. I'd owe her for the rest of my life. Daniel was a safer choice, especially at this hour.

Luckily for me, Daniel picked up his phone immediately.

"So, how many shots did they give her?"

He listens. For once, I can appreciate him for his clinical disposition. Talking about anything medical put him in doctor mode, and now was no exception. I listen as he types something, the clacking of the keyboard louder than normal, and I hear a voice next to him.

"No thank you, Blythe. I'll be out soon. Did you need me to have a referral sent to your office?"

I hear Blythe say something in response, a very cold 'yes she does need a referral', then she falls silent to see who he's talking to. I eye my ceiling with great interest as Daniel says something else to her, something tight and irritable, and I decide if she tries to say anything to me, I'll hang up.

"Sorry about that." Daniel mutters, and the heavy click of the door tells me he's home, and Blythe has just left his office. "Everly should be fine. Normal side effects can include a low-grade fever, body aches, and an upset stomach. The new serums, now I'm not entirely up to speed on those yet, but if she's resisting the simulation or her body is fighting it off, it can result in extreme exhaustion. The uh…the…" He pauses, and he sounds mildly disappointed when he continues. "The birth control she's been given shouldn't really have any side effects. It might cause a headache or two, but that'll vanish the longer she's on it."

"Okay."

I sound far away when I answer him. I'd stopped my pacing in the doorway of my bedroom, and I remind myself that I didn't purposely wander in here just to check on her. Again.

"She's just…been asleep for a long time."

"Well, if you're really concerned or you think something's wrong, I would maybe take her to the infirmary. Have her checked out. But if she's not running a high fever, and she's not vomiting or incoherent, I think you're fine to let her sleep it off."

"Fine." I've already walked over to the bed. I touch Everly's forehead once, and while she's oddly warm instead of freezing, she's not burning up. I feel relieved by this, especially when I notice she doesn't look quite so ghostly anymore. "I think she'll be alright."

"Good. They've given her a lot all at once, but I understand your concern. Jeanine's new serums are-"

"Thanks for your time." I interrupt him quickly, not at all about to indulge him on a rant about Jeanine. He wouldn't tell me anything I didn't already know. I knew her serums were a slippery little way to control the factions. Were we not careful, she'd have them distributed everywhere in the blink of an eye. It would be easy for her to hide them in the water, in the mandatory vaccines, all under the cheerful pretense of carefully worded concern. "Have a good night."

"Eric, wait." Daniel protests but I hang up anyway.

I hate that I called him. I hate that I needed his help and asking him made me want to smash my phone into the wall. He was the only person I could think of in my panic, but talking with him brings up a strange, heavy feeling. I'm suddenly reminded of all the times he didn't answer his phone, and I shake my head once to clear those thoughts.

I've never had him in my life, and I certainly don't need him now.

 

 

She wakes up late the next morning.

I sit beside her, pushing her hair off her face under the guise of feeling her forehead, and her eyes open. She blinks a few times, confusion all over her face, as my fingers move to touch her temple.

Her eyes close, then she forces them open again.

I can tell it's a struggle, the urge to sleep still heavy. After a moment, she wakes up just enough to notice it's later than she'd thought.

"Are you okay? Do you not feel well?" I ask her, having been on my way into work. I'd spent the morning making sure she was alright, working from home and getting ready, but I had a meeting I couldn't put off any longer. I'd decided if she didn't wake up today, then I'd fetch Arlene.

To my surprise, Everly shakes her head.

"No. I got the second set of shots today and Arlene said I might feel sick." She says the words slowly, and I know she still doesn't feel good. I frown, not at all pleased. I dig my fingers into her hair, pulling them through the million strands that are currently splayed out over my pillow.

"I fell asleep when I got home. What time is it?" She looks up at me again, her green eyes worried.

"Eleven." I answer her, my eyes flicking to the clock beside the bed.

"Eleven?" She sits up abruptly, and she looks around frantically. "I slept all day?"

She's clearly disoriented, and for a second, I find some humor in the situation. She loved to sleep and sleeping an entire day should have been a dream for her. It was cute she thought it was eleven pm.

"Eleven am. You slept all night, too." I catch her stare, and she looks horrified. "You got up for a minute last night, but you went right back to bed."

"Is that supposed to happen?"

I shrug. "Arlene said it could. It affects everyone differently." I decide to skip over the part where I'd panicked and called Daniel. Arlene would have told me the same thing, or maybe not. Maybe she'd have forced her way up here, just to check on Everly. Either way, she was the least embarrassing option. Telling Everly I'd chosen to call my father didn't seem right. Plus, there was a high chance Everly would believe Arlene was nosey enough to check up on her.

"Are you feeling better now?" I look at her intensely, looking for any obvious symptoms. Her skin color is back to normal, her eyes are no longer glassy, and even though she looks tired, she's awake.

Everly nods her head and shifts on the bed. "Yeah, I do. I started to feel sick after lunch so I went to lie down and…I don't remember anything after that."

I nod my head, and I make a mental note to ask Arlene about this later. "I got you something."

I leave her sitting there, sliding off the bed with one quick glance back at her. The bed seems to swallow her up, and she looks slightly out of it. I walk to the dresser, grab the book I'd bought at the market, and return to my previous position. This time, I sit up higher, right next to her.

I kindly shove the package at her, the act of giving her a gift awkward, and she slowly takes it from me.

"Thanks." She opens it just as slowly; she undoes the brown paper my friend had wrapped it in, until the wizard's face appears. I sneer at the cover, trying to decide what I find more stupid. The boy, dangling from a bird as it flies into a tunnel, or the fact that I'd purchased such an item to give to her.

"How many are there?" She looks up at me, and her eyes are just as large as the boy's. "Did you get this at the market?"

"It's a whole series." I shrug, and stare at the sheets of my bed, not interested in saying much else. Giving her the book felt stupid. I have the sudden urge to stand up and leave because my concern for her is overwhelming; I had gotten a shitty night's sleep, I'd spent most of my day thinking she was awake, and my disappointment when she wasn't always felt juvenile. I'd existed without her for a long time and this shouldn't bother me.

But it did.

"Thank you." She holds onto the book with both hands, like I've given her something far more valuable than a book. "No one's ever…"

She pauses, and this time, her own stare falls to the sheets.

Neither of us say anything else, not until I stand up to go make lunch.

 

 

 

She flips through the training packet with a horrified expression on her face.

I found the binder to be aesthetically pleasing. It was neat and organized, divided into multiple sections, and it weighed a ton. She would work through each module, and upon completion, she'd be well versed in how to oversee the faction.

Her expression changes when she gets past what I know she'll find boring- meeting agendas, a code of conduct for how she's to behave while in other factions, the list of all current leaders- including a photo of myself that she stares at with a funny look on her face. When she gets to the end, she touches our marriage license, and I leave the room before she can ask me a single question about it.

To my relief, she'd recovered from her shots not long after I'd given her the wizard book.

The next morning, she'd taken a long shower, brushed all the knots out of her hair, and dressed in something appropriate for Spring. Since we weren't really going anywhere, I didn't bother to point out it was snowing outside. She sat at the table, her sundress barely skimming her thighs, her bare feet curled beneath her, and she'd flipped through the training papers with great apprehension.

I let her go through it on her own.

She didn't need me to tell her things would be fine. While the amount of information could look intimidating, it wasn't. It was simply routine bullshit she'd quickly get through. I'd only given it to her early so she'd feel ready come Monday and not be blindsided to find it sitting on her desk.

She had no clue she would be given an office, either.

To celebrate both her new adventure, and her recovery, I'd taken the rest of the week off. I called in to myself, then Max. I didn't have to explain a single thing to him. I only stated I wouldn't be in, and in case of an emergency, I still wouldn't be in.

I used my time wisely.

While Everly slept off the vaccines, I cleaned out my closet. I had grabbed a few boxes from my office, old plans, new plans, paperwork that shouldn't ever see the light of day again, and I'd taken them home. I had the odd feeling to move the shit before someone else went through it, and I couldn't figure out why. No one could get into my office, but I'd taken everything incriminating with me and boxed it up.

I distracted her with the manual, and I lost myself in this task. Eventually, I look up in surprise when I see Everly walk through the door to the guest bedroom.

"I thought you were reading your packet?" I reach for the next box, one I'd labeled with a dark marker, and I pick it up easily. "Did you finish?"

"It's four hundred pages long, Eric. I skimmed through it." When I look at her, she's watching me, eyeing my shirt with great interest, then my arms. I smile in amusement at four hundred pages being too long for her to read.

"Your wizard books are twice as long and you had no problem reading through those." I point out. I shove the box up higher, picking an empty shelf so the others won't break. The closet is nearly full, filled with Everly's old training clothes and shirts that I hadn't parted with, and these boxes don't help.

"Well those are exciting."

Her voice is just as dry as my own, and I find myself trying not to laugh at her. I like when her sarcastic nature slips through. She is just as witty as I am, I find her highly entertaining when she gets like this.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Dauntless policy and procedures aren't exciting enough for you? You don't like reading about the eight different ways it's acceptable to respond to another faction's requests for more paper products?"

She looks at me for a long moment, shrugging her shoulders then she looks at the bed.

I wonder if she's thinking about how she slept in here. I'd thought about it the moment I'd walked in. The first time I'd watched her walk through the door. The day I'd yanked the covers off her bed when she wouldn't get up. The times I'd wondered what she was doing, even though logic told me she was more than likely sleeping away her exhaustion.

The day her shower "broke".

"Why is it so cold in here?" She asks out of nowhere, her fingers touching the heavy comforter she'd found in the closet. "It's way colder in here than in your room."

I shrug my own shoulders. Dauntless heating wasn't exactly my specialty. When I walk over to the bed, she looks up at me. "Couldn't tell you. I've never slept in here."

I reach for her waist. I pull her against my chest, and she tilts her head up. I have half a mind to tell her the heat has never been on, and I doubt the vents in this room are even open. I decide not to bother explaining any of that. "I thought about it once. When you couldn't seem to quite figure out which bedroom was yours."

She glares at me.

"Funny. You sure didn't seem to mind." Her tone is warm and lovely, especially as she reaches her arms around my neck. Gone is the gross tension of did I and could I love her, and things were back to normal. She seemed to come to terms with whatever she'd been worried about, and so had I.

Sort of.

"I didn't." I snort at her, my lips curling up when she grins. "I told you before, I like you in my bed."

I lean in to kiss her, my lips brushing hers gently, far more softly than I'd ever kissed anyone. I enjoy the feeling of her mouth on mine, breaking away to stare at her.

She reacts like she always does. The blood rushes to her cheeks, causing a pink flush to appear. She always looks like she's waiting for me to change my mind about her, but I don't think I could. Not now.

Not ever.

"Move the rest of your stuff into there. There's no point in keeping it in two rooms."

"Are you sure?" Everly asks, her gaze on my throat. Her eyes linger on the tattoo for a moment before looking up at me. "I don't want to take all your space."

I blink. She's giving me an out. It would be very easy to have her keep her stuff in this room. It would keep that permanent divide between us, that while she was welcome in my bedroom, her life remained in the guest room. Having her move her things into my room meant something, and she was being very careful about it.

"It's not a big deal."

It's not entirely a lie. It felt like a way to make things permanent. A way to maybe make her forget her worries over Ashley. A way for me to reassure myself she wasn't leaving. A way to make sure it was her and I, our clothes and shoes together, like it was supposed to be that way. I'd shared my apartment with her for all this time, and this was no different.

"Okay." She smiles in agreement and leans against my chest.

I stand there stupidly.

I'm slightly thrown off by her actions, but she seems content. I hold onto her, one hand on her back, and one on her hair, until I decide we should go eat lunch.

 

 

I show her Jeanine's email.

In a few days, Everly Coulter will make her first appearance as a Leader in Training. She will be expected to have knowledge of what's going on, and despite my best efforts to keep her out of Jeanine's way, I was now throwing her right into the mix of it all.

Which meant explaining what was going on and hinting that she herself could be a part of it.

It feels fitting that she's curled up next to me, her legs touching mine and her head against my chest. I observe the way her expression changes to confusion as she reads the email and she pushes back against me.

"So, she wants to find anyone who she thinks is committing factional treason? Or will commit treason? What does that even mean?" She sets my tablet down away from us, like she doesn't want the email all that close to her.

"Anyone who she thinks isn't in the right faction." I shrug, and I pretend she's not on the list, and I'm simply explaining this to anyone.

"How would you know they aren't in the right faction? Isn't that kind of…subjective?" She turns around to look at me, and she chews on her lower lip. "I mean, we get to choose. That's the whole point of the ceremony."

I try to react casually, like I haven't been fully on board with this whole factional treason thing. "You do. Say you chose Dauntless, but you suddenly start focusing all your efforts into what's going on in Candor. She's looking for stuff like that."

"But how would you even be able to look for that?" Everly asks. She's looking right at me, green eyes glued to mine, and I grimace under her intense stare.

"She's working on a way."

"Well that sounds stupid." Everly announces loudly, and I find myself snickering at her annoyance. I roll my eyes in agreement, then move her hair off her shoulder as she scowls.

"What's the initiation process like in Amity?" I change the subject after a moment of silence. She narrows her eyes ever so slightly, knowing full well I know about the process. I know every initiation process in every faction, but I want to hear her tell me something I don't know. Maybe something I've overlooked.

"Um, so the transfers have to help in the fields for two weeks, then they shadow three or four areas of their choosing. There's agriculture, livestock care, the culinary center, uh pesticides routine and wild animal endangerment patrol…" Everly talks quickly. She rattles off the areas of interest, pausing only to look at me. "I'm forgetting something."

I touch her shoulder, pulling the strap of her dress back up. "Does anyone ever not make it through the Amity initiation?"

That throws her off. She squints her eyes in concentration, trying to recall such an event. You'd have to be either incredibly stupid or obnoxious to not make it in Amity. "Occasionally. It was almost always a transfer."

I watch her carefully. "Did you know they don't give the transfers the peace serum?"

"What? No, I didn't." She looks surprised, shaking her head. "I, um, I didn't always take it. I knew the foods it was in, so I sometimes avoided those."

She looks at me like she's confessing some deep dark secret, and I smirk at her.

"How rebellious." I tease her, and I don't doubt she didn't want to feel stoned off her ass on a daily basis.

"You use it here, though." Everly changes the subject back, swatting my hand away when I touch her collarbone. She stares at me intently, her mind whirling frantically. "What's the connection?"

"We use the serum in the simulations here. The simulations reveal more than just the person's fears. They show us if you lean more toward another faction. But it's not always accurate. You could have someone who received Dauntless as a result but might still strongly identify with their original faction. The loyalty is often deeply ingrained and doesn't just disappear in a few months. It's a flawed logic."

I pause to examine my cuticles with faux interest. "Jeanine thinks that's how we can find out who's more likely to commit treason."

Little Amity puts the entire thing together easily. "So, she'll want it administered to everyone? Why doesn't Amity give it to the transfers? Why didn't I know that?"

I don't have a great answer for her. I didn't live in Amity. I'd rather die than live there, but I can't imagine this is common knowledge. Johanna was risking the safety and peace of her faction by letting the transfers attempt to hide their flaws. She was lucky none of them had lost it and gone nuts trying to live in peace and harmony.

"Johanna claims it's because they want to see their true unaltered temperament." Everly stares at me, waiting for me to finish. "Jeanine will push for all factions to use some sort of serum in their next initiation. Maybe before then. Abnegation doesn't use the serum either. But they'll be forced to."

Her frown is immediate. "That seems a little disturbing."

I hate telling her all this, because eventually, she'll realize Dauntless occasionally has our hand in it. "She's working on a new one now. She'll need volunteers to test it out." I pause. "She'll come here first."

She freezes.

"Don't worry, you'll be exempt. She was curious about why you did so well. She didn't quite think it was all due to my training. " I look at her, and she looks panicked at this information. "Do you see why I wanted to keep you away from it all?"

She nods ever so slightly and bites her lip hard enough it could bleed. "Will she test it out on you?"

"No." I shake my head at her. "She'll only go after those she thinks will yield a positive result to prove her theory. I've gone through the testing before. My results were satisfactory enough that I'm not what she wants. But other people are."

"Do you have any idea who that is?" She looks right at me, and I have to stop myself from spilling the details of the list to her. Do I dare tell her that her own name was on it, that her lousy three percent could be used against her? Do I tell her that her single friend from class, the only boy who hadn't tried to kill her was on it? Do I tell her that I had, at one point, signed off on such types of lists, and willingly brought these people before Jeanine?

I simply tell her yes, and she leans away from me.

 

 

She sits on my lap, her head tilted up and she stares at the sky. It's cold out here, and her flimsy dress and my hoodie are a poor choice to stay warm. To avoid freezing to death, she pushes back into my chest; my legs are bent up and around her, and my arms tighten around her arms.

We've been sitting here for some time now. I thought she needed a break from Dauntless, and this was as far as I dared take her.

She'd returned from telling Karl looking rather dismayed.

It wasn't any surprise to me that he wouldn't believe her, or that he'd dismissed what she was trying to tell him. I saw the hurt on his face when she walked by him the other day. Even if she'd never hinted that she wanted something more than being his friend, he had wanted that. He had wanted anything she'd give him, which unfortunately, wasn't much.

His pride was wounded, and in return, he'd decided he didn't need to recognize she existed.

But now, she was trying.

She wanted to save him, her lone sort of friend from the training class. She wanted to make sure he knew to watch his back and stay put in Dauntless.

"His dad was sick, so Four let him take a leave to go see him. He said he works in Candor."

She sounds strangely wistful. She holds onto my fingers, idly touching them while she sinks against me. She'd wanted to tell him immediately. She'd hopped off my lap, gone to the kitchen, and reached for her jacket. I had shaken my head. I wanted to skip telling him this little issue. There were far more risks by telling him he had a target on his back, but Everly was dead set on it.

I had grudgingly gone along with her, but not before warning her she had to make sure he stayed quiet. If she was willing to risk him blabbing this because he panicked, we'd have an entirely different problem on our hands.

She swore he wouldn't say a word.

I had planned to enforce that.

I walked along with her, trying to figure out the best way to approach Karl. He wasn't fond of me, and while he had liked Everly, he'd been rather cold to her since discovering she was married. I mentally debated letting her tell him by herself, right up until the moment we ran into Max. He'd insisted I go with him. Something had piqued his interest, and he wanted my help on it. So, instead of accompanying her to see Karl, I'd gone to the control room with him, watching as Kacie replayed the surveillance footage over and over.

Just like he said, there were huge chunks of time missing. We watched the frames skip, losing the same thirty minutes, then another thirty minutes, over and over, from multiple angles. The cameras had been turned off, but not from the control room.

I didn't care.

Yet, I did. Very much so. Someone had left the compound, and they were smart enough to know how not to get caught. After much debate, I had Kacie pull a different set of cameras, and sure enough, we were rewarded with grainy, spotty security footage of someone walking out of the furthest most entrance of Dauntless. They certainly knew what they were doing: the route they had chosen was a long walk, out of the way and hidden. To their benefit, the footage was too blurry to get a clear glimpse of their face.

It was enough for Max to pounce on, and I'd stayed there while he and Kacie tried pulling every single tape they could think of.

I stayed because I had nothing else to do. I sat at a computer screen and clicked through it until I found where Everly went. I watched an even tinier version of her talk with a very uninterested Karl. His body language was incredibly telling; he tensed up immediately when he saw her, and he crossed his arms over his chest for a good chunk of their talk. After several minutes, he eased up somewhat, but he glared at her rather fiercely. At one point, she glared at him, and I could feel her frustration. I'm sure he felt like she was accusing him of something, and in a way, she was. Finally, they both turn to face the opposite direction, and their stares are glued to something.

I tried to get Kacie and Max's attention, watching the same blurry figure walk away, but I grew impatient when they were too focused on whatever they were looking at. I gave up, loudly instructing Kacie to pull up section seven, and I'd stormed out, having seen Everly head back.

I found her in the hallway by the entrance, her expression gloomy after Karl didn't jump for joy at being told he was on some list, and I'd taken hold of her hand. Lead her up the stairs. Up several flights of stairs. To the roof where Four's class had nearly shot each other, and Everly had proven she took direction well.

I lead her to a quiet corner, sat down against the wall, and roughly pulled her onto my lap.

"Forget about it, Everly. You told him. Now, it's up to him to keep his nose clean. As long as he works and stays out of trouble, he'll be just fine." I try to reassure her somewhat. Jeanine might never get to Karl's name, or she might zero in on it first. There was no telling with her.

"Will she hurt him? Is she going to look for him soon?" Everly's grip tightens on my hands and her voice is swept away by the wind. I can feel the worry rushing through her, and I find it somewhat admirable that despite her friend treating her like garbage, she was concerned he'd be killed. Concerned enough to try and warn him.

"Eventually. If she gets to his name." I answer her flatly.

She would.

Even worse, she'd send me to find him.

"He's not a traitor, you know." Everly announces, and I nod my head.

"I don't think he is."

I didn't.

Karl, despite having an embarrassingly juvenile crush on Everly, was a fine soldier. You could tell he'd chosen Dauntless for a reason, and he had no plans of fucking it up and sneaking back home. He'd fit in well with the squad he'd been assigned. He had friends who he worked with, and he hadn't made any enemies other than myself. He had made a fairly seamless transition here. If you looked quick enough, you might mistake him for a seasoned member.

I could look past his feelings for Everly. Somewhat. I was still irked that he felt he deserved her simply because he found her attractive. Even now, my knuckles turn white as I grip them together, thinking of how he'd looked at her darkly when we walked by.

"Will you know when she looks for him?"

Everly leans her head back so she can sort of look up at me.

"I will. She'll send out an email first, then she'll have…" I pause, not sure how to word the rest of it. She'd have me drag him in by any means necessary. Unless he kept his shit together and stayed under her radar. By that point, Everly would realize that the person sent to hunt him down would be me, and wouldn't that be quite the spectacular moment when she saw it all fall into place.

I swallow down that dreadful scenario.

"Why are you so worried about him?" I finally snap the words at her, suddenly frustrated at the situation unraveling before me. "He can handle himself. You told me he'd be fine. That you were sure of it."

"I don't know." She answers quietly, and she sighs. Heavily. "No one ever really looked out for me. I guess, I was just trying to be a good friend."

I stare at the back of her head, overcome with a sick feeling. But before I can throw her off my lap and inform her that I was doing exactly fucking that, she turns around to face me.

"I don't mean you." She looks right at me, and her hands find my chest, gripping my jacket tightly. "I know that's what you're thinking, Eric. I want you to know, I'm aware you looked out for me. I know you still look out for me. You said… you said that's why you married me. So I'd be safe."

I stay silent, watching her light up by the pale light pouring over us.

"Before you, not a single person ever cared about what I did. I could have walked out of Amity and never returned and no one would have noticed." She looks at me very seriously, and I reach up to touch her jaw.

"Why?"

It's not what I meant to ask her, but it's what my brain chooses to blurt out.

Why would anyone not notice her absence?

"I don't know." She shakes her head and shrugs. "I wasn't anyone there. My parents might have noticed if no one was around to watch my brothers and sisters, and maybe…maybe Landon. If he hadn't seen me in a few days. But not like you. They didn't…"

She stops talking, and for the first time since she walked into my life, she looks like she might cry. "It's a big faction, I guess. A lot of people coming and going."

"Yeah, it is." I answer her stupidly, my fingers curling into her skin. "You don't have to do this, you know. This worry. He'll be fine. Jeanine...she'll focus on something else soon. Not him." I stop, and her gaze falls. "Everly, are you trying to save Karl because no one would have saved you?"

She lets out a shaky breath and nods her head. "Yeah, I think so. He hates me now, because…because I'm with you, but he doesn't get it. He doesn't understand what…we… you and I…and I don't want to mess this all up."

She stops talking. She looks like she's blurted out something she's afraid of saying, and only caught herself at the last second.

I stay silent.

I can only stare at her. In this moment, she's told me more about herself than in all our time together. But when I think about it, I'd always known this about her. She is kind. Honest. Lovely. There is a good in her that I've never seen before, even as she sits on my lap, about to unravel from the pressure placed upon her.

She had no clue what she was in for.

"If I was no one here, would you still save me?"

She looks at me, and in that moment, it hits me in the face. It's not Jason's stupid text messages, not Rylan's prying, not Arlene's stupid commentary, nor Meghan's moronic questions. It's not anyone asking me repeatedly what I felt for her, just because they wanted to know every single dirty little detail of every single moment that had ever happened between us.

It was something they'd never understand, because I didn't understand it.

I look right at her, her hair twisting and falling down around her, her green eyes wide with nervousness, and her small hands holding onto me for dear life.

I realize right then and there, they had all been right this whole time. I could pretend all I wanted, but deep down I knew I hadn't married her in hopes that everyone would overlook her name change. I hadn't married her to keep her away from Jeanine or because I wanted to keep her away from the others.

I'd married her because I felt something for Everly Coulter that would be my ultimate undoing.

It would be my downfall.

The only thing that could possibly ruin everything I'd worked for in my life, all by one single tiny girl, who'd only ever asked me for a single chance.

I loved her.


	19. Meetings + Meltdowns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me just take a second to thank Bamberlee for editing this chapter + sending it to me tonight! Honestly, between our schedules, I was so excited to see it in my email!
> 
> I'd also like to thank everyone for reviewing. Some of them are as entertaining as the chapters, maybe more so lol. 
> 
> Thanks to everyone reading along! 
> 
> I hope all of you have a wonderful weekend, and this chapter brings a little bit of happiness into your life!

I kiss her.

My actions come with less grace than I'd like. I lean into her without warning and kiss her voraciously. Her hands tighten on my jacket, my hands tighten on her.

She gets her answer in some way. I may not have said it out loud, but of course I'd save her. I was insulted to think she thought otherwise. She had never been no one to me, and maybe I'd overlooked that idea from the very first day. From the start of her training, she had become the focus of my life, causing the rest of it to simply orbit around her and I. I had loved her the first time she fell asleep on me. The first time she trusted me with her life. The first time I kissed her, jealousy hot and angry as it pulsed deep within my veins, because someone else was closer to her than I was.

My feelings for her had always been frantic; quick to accept her, quick to like her, and unbeknownst to me, quick to love her. I had taken Everly for what she was worth, every single ounce of her being, and I had never looked back. I'd fallen hook line and sinker for every moment between us. Every long, lingering look. Every slow, purposeful touch. Every time she had climbed into my bed, ignoring the fact that not only was I her trainer, but a Leader who could easily end her life and no one would dare blink at me. Every time I had touched her, silently letting my own finger prints leave their trace on her skin, I had loved her.

I hadn't recognized it. Even now, as her lips press against mine, soft and cold, and my fingers slide into her hair to pull her against me, it's like a slice to my skin to allow her this power over me. Feelings weren't something I caught, and not just this. I'd often ignored my own friends' miserable moods, their dampened spirits when things didn't go their way, Ashley's longing for a human connection that I blatantly refused to satisfy. I knowingly ignored my father, I outright refused to acknowledge my mother. I wasn't stupid. I knew all of this went on around me. But this moment, Everly on my lap and my thoughts spilling in every direction, this was the first time I'd felt something that seemed honest.

And now, I am screwed.

I think about her question over and over, feeling the sudden woeful ache nestled inside my ribs that substantially hurt, that someone would have failed to notice her existence. My own failure to verbally answer her question feels shameful but answering it out loud would have told her everything she'd ever wanted to know, everything she'd suddenly asked for, everything I'd been afraid of.

That I love her.

The thought is terrifying. Far more intimidating than any simulation, far more chilling than the thought of my own failure. To know I'd fallen for the very girl I'd trained, and not just fallen for her, but become so entangled in her that I now couldn't imagine myself without her. It would take Everly Coulter down right along with me.

If my feelings for her became public knowledge and made their way a single faction over, it wouldn't end well for either of us. I could see it blowing up in both of our faces, loud and messy and irreparable when Jeanine realized she could make this work to their benefit. When she realized she had leverage over me, far past family relations. When it became clear that I'd do anything for her.

"Yes."

I say the words against her lips, unwilling to break away from her, even though I'll soon run out of oxygen. I suddenly feel like I'm being pulled far beneath the water, and the surface is vanishing with each passing second.

I wondered if everyone felt like this.

I tried to accept it. I'll tell her, some way. In my own words. I think wildly, kissing her in silent reassurance. But because I wanted to. I wanted her to know I would save her a thousand times over, so long as I was breathing, until I couldn't take another step. I would do everything in my power to keep her safe, no matter how high the stakes got.

And they would.

I could only keep Jeanine away for so long, but there would come a point in time when she would demand what I was unwilling to hand over, and that was Everly.

I should have put a stop to it. Reminded her we might be married, but it wasn't for the reasons she thought. Lied to her. Kept her thinking her place was behind me, not next to me. Let her believe I could never love her like she wanted.

Except I did.

And here I was, with her on my lap, kissing her in the dark, beneath a million blinking stars, with no intention of letting her go.

She responds just like I'd hoped, her legs now on either side of me, leaning into me like I am everything.

There is nothing but cold air slicing around us. The temperature seems to have dropped to a level that should make Everly freeze. But for once, it doesn't seem to bother her. Not yet. She holds onto me firmly, her lips parting open to deepen the kiss, and I dig my fingers into her scalp, determined to keep her in place.

I grasp a fistful of her hair, urging her forward, and I wonder if it had been obvious to everyone but me. All this time. I must have looked like a fool, letting her take over my life without even trying. Allowing her to get beneath my skin, one cold night after another.

"Eric," she mumbles against my lips, breaking away to rest her forehead against mine. Her eyes are closed and she shivers, my hoodie doing little to keep her warm.

In this moment, I don't care about any of that. I push all my logical, rational thinking away, and I give in to how it feels to be in this moment. I have her, soft and slight as she pulls me closer, her hair tickling my hands. I have us, her linked to me by marriage, even though everyone had seen right through that flimsy piece of bullshit as I tried to force my feelings into place.

I could have everything with her, so long as we both stayed alive.

I swallow heavily, not wanting the warmth that I'd been surrounded with to burst. But I realize she is really shivering now, and my plan to get some fresh air and clear her head might end in her catching pneumonia.

"Let's go home, Everly."

My voice is low and rough, like I've pulled the words out from somewhere deep within me. They aren't the answer she wanted, but in a way, they are.

I will take her home.

Back to our home.

Where I would fall asleep next to her, making sure she's as close as possible. Making sure she is warm and safe, content as she drifts off. My thoughts will be a blurred jumble as sleep eludes me, until I realize it will be safer for both of us if she doesn't know what I feel for her.

Ever.

 

 

In the morning, I return to my normal, logical, even tempered self.

Despite the sudden realization that I had fallen into something I wasn't prepared for, I remind myself, that I am Eric Coulter. I am a leader in Dauntless. I have spent my life working to obtain this position here, I have spent my days working to better this city, and I have spent my time doing things no one else has. Things that I will keep Everly away from, as promised, but I will regain all control over my life. I will not be controlled by someone who's barely five feet tall.

Therefore, I won't tell her.

In the early morning, she looks at me like she's waiting for me to say something. Our conversation on the roof last night had left plenty of things up in the air. She looks at me sleepily, rubbing her eyes and reluctantly pushing the covers back just the slightest. Enough to tell me she's not really getting out of bed, and I could stay right there if I wanted to.

I do my best to appear busy, not wanting to return to the realization that I cared for her in a way I'd never experienced before.

I leave her in bed to take a shower, standing there and staring at the shampoo bottle for an inordinate amount of time. Staring at the bottle without moving. Until I hear her voice, asking if I'm alright. I blink away the water on my face, and I blame it on the upcoming meeting. My mind is antsy at the thought of bringing her to it, both concerned and proud. I was happy to have her along with me, for she'd earned every second of her place here, but there was a fantastic chance she'd be interrogated by the others.

"I'm done."

I step out of the shower, having rinsed something out of my hair without paying much attention. She tilts her head to the side to watch me, and I realize she's grown to recognize every single change in my mental wellbeing enough that she knows something is off. Fortunately, she has to get ready as well, and she steps right in to the shower I'd just left.

I dress without thinking. Dark shirt. Dark pants. Same heavy jacket. Same boots as always. The time slips by in the blink of an eye. I get ready for the meeting while Everly returns from her shower. Every so often she bumps into me, and I fight down the urge to grab onto her and hold her in place. Maybe throw her back onto my bed.

Tell her what I'd been up all night thinking about.

Instead, I catch her elbow the next time she walks past me, and I remind her we don't have long before we have to leave.

 

 

The email dings loudly as we walk.

I read it on my phone, while Everly walks a few feet ahead of me on our way to the meeting. I would roll my eyes at the message, but it doesn't deserve that much effort.

It's from Ashley, and all it says is 'you fucking asshole'.

 

 

Everly's first meeting is quite the event.

Jason and Rylan are so excited she'll be attending it, that they both show up early, despite them not having to attend. Far earlier than Everly and me. Jason's uniform is stiff and cleanly pressed into perfection. Rylan's hair is combed. I eye both of them with a smirk as they hand her a cup of coffee, and escort her the long six feet to the conference room.

It's already packed.

End of the year is a big time for us. This meeting had been put off, rescheduled, and eventually, demanded by Jeanine and pushed to the top of the list. It was a rare one where it seemed every single person from every faction attended, and Everly's eyes widen at the sight before her.

She had the same expression right before we left this morning. She'd looked overwhelmed at the papers in the packet, and I couldn't blame her. I wanted to tell her she had all the time in the world to do it. Really, there was no rush. I'd signed her up for this program because I knew she could do it, and she'd excel at it. But she didn't have to become a leader in a week. There was plenty of time to work at whatever pace she pleased, and I'd make sure she was confident in what she did before moving on. This wasn't her initiation, it was an introduction to leadership.

Including the uniform.

Her jacket had arrived, along with the standard uniform pants.

Christian had tailored them to fit her, but she'd shaken her head at the heavy fabric, and returned with leggings, a pair of brand new boots, some shirt I couldn't see, and her jacket. Her hair was down, and she'd smiled when I walked over to fix the collar, letting my fingers graze the skin on her neck.

She looked perfect.

A little less formal than most leaders, but other than maybe Harrison, I don't think anyone would care. I certainly didn't care if she ever wore pants.

She looks even better as she walks a few steps ahead of me, and she takes a seat next to Jeremy. She smiles at him, their unspoken solidarity as the newest leaders, and it wavers only when she glances around the room and spots Ashley.

Whose message now made sense.

I'd assumed her message came from my lack of communication and general interest in her. Once I'd married Everly, I'd completely forgotten Ashley existed. I hadn't even read half the shit she'd sent, her emails were skimmed only because I knew they came with information from Jeanine, and I never responded to them even if my response was needed.

With everything going on, I'd forgotten she'd be here, even though it was unlikely that Jeanine would step away from her precious research. She'd sent Ashley and another assistant to fill in for her, not bothering to show up for a meeting she had insisted upon.

I survey the room from the doorway, watching the way Everly listens to Jeremy say something. Ashley is seated one seat away from Max and her sharp eyes are zeroed right in on Everly, taking in her appearance. To her dismay, Everly looks like she fits in here.

Ashley looks like she might fall apart at any second. Her hair is blonder than before, lightened to a severe shade of nearly white, and her shirt is halfway unbuttoned. Her makeup gives her a harsh appearance, too vain to have come from Erudite. Were it not for the unbuttoned royal blue jacket, you'd never know she was from Erudite. In fact, Harrison squints at her in confusion, especially when she sighs in annoyance as someone walks a little too closely to her.

"Are you alright?" Harrison asks her suspiciously. He waits until she nods, and her eyes turn to me. They slowly work up and down, stopping on mine for a split second in an attempt to force a connection, and she smiles. I realize right then and there that the empty seat is a silent invitation. That even though I am married, she'd be fine with that.

I sit down right next to Everly.

I lean back in the chair, greeting a rushed looking Tori, and watching Jason and Rylan stand to the side, still not ready to leave. They stand with their arms crossed, eyeing Everly like hawks, like they've been assigned to make sure no one tried to do anything stupid before the meeting. I hadn't asked them to, but I don't dislike their actions.

In fact, when I look over at Everly, despite reading through her manual a few times, she looks a little lost.

I nudge her slightly, grinning when she tilts her head at me.

"Are you ready?"

She nods her head and drops her stare to examine the papers in front of her. They are stapled together with the Dauntless logo on the cover page; Linda always typed up the meeting agendas and I had to admire how neatly she organized things. They were uniform and orderly: six pages total, with plenty of room to take notes. Four of those pages had actual importance and the last two were bullshit events that you could attend or not attend. This meeting was to discuss new safety measures that were a result of the factionless attacks. The last two pages would be brought up, and I knew Max would push for us all to be present at them as a pleasant distraction from everything else.

Everly flips through them and zeroes in on that page.

"Is this a normal thing? That other factions would be willing to attend…" She looks confused. "A New Year's Celebration? What is that?"

I squint at her, pointing to the title of the first event Dauntless is hosting. I grow confused, because the name is pretty self-explanatory.

"You've never celebrated New Year's before? It's the end of the calendar year, every December." I stop, wondering if she'd truly never heard of such a thing. These celebrations were always open to other factions, but they were mostly a mixture of people from Candor and Dauntless. Abnegation rarely showed up, and Erudite had a few that liked to slip out and let loose. I'd seen a handful from Amity, but I'm surprised to hear she doesn't know what New Year's Celebration is. "The celebration is always open to other factions. This year Dauntless is in charge of the fireworks show."

Everly shrugs her shoulders, and Ashley watches her with a violent look on her face. Ashley wouldn't have dared show up for these celebrations, not unless she thought she had a shot at coming home with me.

"No. We had a lot of celebrations, but I don't remember celebrating anything for end of the year." She looks up, and I'm still staring at her. "Has Amity always been invited?"

"Every year. All factions are invited."

"Interesting." Everly answers, and she looks sweetly concerned. "Are we going to this celebration? You and I?"

I let myself smile at her, widely. I'd never considered taking her, but if she wanted to go to such a party, I don't see why we couldn't. "Do you want to go?"

"Yes." She answers easily, and I find myself pleased.

"Good." I forget that I'm sitting in a meeting. That Jeremy is a seat away from her. That Harrison is loudly asking who brought coffee for everyone but him. That Rylan looks ready to hyperventilate. "It's a rather fun night to celebrate."

"Do you have anything planned to celebrate my first day of training?" Everly asks with just a hint of teasing to her tone. When I don't answer right away, she leans in, so close that I could easily tilt my head to touch my lips to hers. "I know how much you like celebrating."

Ashley's knee hits the table.

"I guess you'll find out."

It's the last thing I say to her. Jason starts coughing, Rylan is nodding his head in approval of something, and Max clears his throat. I lean away from Everly, watching as someone takes the seat next to Ashley. She's dressed appropriately, and she looks bored and irritable already. Compared to Erudite, this underground meeting is taking place in a shit hole. I'm sure they found it atrocious to meet in such an atmosphere.

A second later, Jack Kang chooses his seat, and he watches as Andrew Prior picks the seat next to him. For the most part, everyone tries to stick by their own faction. There are a few empty spots at the table, and just when I wonder if Jason and Rylan will try to stay, there is a rush of two girls who run in and sit down. Their red and gold fabric sticks out in the office, and Everly looks at them in surprise

They are several years older than her and neither acknowledge that she's sitting across from them.

"Johanna insisted on sending two randomly chosen members to come to this meeting." I roll my eyes at the girls, watching them fumble with the papers as they try to get settled. "She likes to make sure everyone in the community has a fair opportunity to contribute."

I'm not at all impressed by this tactic. Not only did it mean there was always someone new needing a security clearance, it meant that we often gave important details to members of Amity who wouldn't know the first thing about a security camera if you smacked them in the head with one.

I lean back into Everly. I'm so close that I can smell her hair, and my lips graze the outer edge of her ear.

"Had you chosen to stay in Amity, I might have met you in this very meeting rather than during initiation."

She looks up at me out of the corner of her eye, and her cheeks darken.

She would eventually have shown up here. Probably wearing a sundress, probably afraid of me. I could imagine I'd have written her off immediately.

Or maybe I would have stared at her from across the table, until I'd decided to stupidly fall in love with her.

I lean back in my own chair, moving it over ever so slightly. When everyone finally shuts up, Max stands at the front of the room and gestures at my friends lingering against the wall. They behave; Jason and Rylan bow out quickly. Both are being sent to make sure there are no security issues while we have guests here. Rylan nods his silent goodbye and Jason waves, mouthing my name until I look up at him. I wave goodbye back, in a fake, cheerful manner, and settle in to listen to Max drone on.

Unlike the physical training Everly had gone through, this training was about to bore the living daylights out of her.

The meeting kicks off immediately, starting with something not on the paperwork. Max begins by announcing the addition of our newest leaders. He points to Jeremy, whose presence I'd mostly ignored since he started. I eye him while Max talks. Jeremy looks pleased when a few people congratulate him. His dark eyes take everything in, really observing everyone. I still can't help the strange feeling that he reminds me of Four, but maybe it's because he gets on my nerves.

Max pauses until everyone is quiet, then he turns to Everly.

He looks at her jacket, her long hair, and how close I'm sitting to her.

Then he smiles.

Far too enthusiastically.

"We'd also like to welcome our newest leader in training, Eric's wife, Everly."

The room does not break out in excitement, instead, it falls silent. Tori nearly spills her drink, Jack's intense stare immediately finds Everly, and the girls from Amity finally look up. Then they look at each other with big grins, and I realize they might know her. Maybe.

I smirk at all of them, their eyes big and their attention snapping between Everly and myself. I'm sure they're noticing that she barely comes up to my shoulders, and her long hair is touching my elbow. I'm sure they're noticing how close I'm sitting to her, and the way she's leaned into me, just as I've leaned into her. I let them stare. I know they have a million questions, but they'll never get the answers they want.

After a moment of their silent examination, they all welcome her, and I'm especially pleased when Andrew leans in to look at her with great concern. I'm sure the word wife is throwing him off, because he's not exactly my biggest fan.

For some unknown reason.

"Thank you all for coming. We've got a few things to go over, and we'll try to make this quick. Those of you from Dauntless are aware we have a meeting after this one, so we'll try to wrap everything up by lunch time."

Everyone in the room focuses back on him.

Almost everyone.

Ashley continues to stare at Everly, and she looks ill. I half expect her to vomit all over the table.

She's clenched her mouth shut, her lips pressed tightly together, and her face is twisted into a grimace. If you looked quickly, you might assume she was having some sort of stomach pain. She looks at Everly like she's dissecting a lab specimen, her eyes frantically going over every inch of her, desperate to find something to pick apart.

Next to me, Everly sinks against me, and I feel her relax somewhat.

They are nothing alike, not in any way.

I move impossibly closer to Everly.

I haven't forgotten about Ashley's little stunt at the dinner. Because of her, Everly had come home with quite a few questions. She'd wanted to know several things that I had no desire to talk about, and she'd pushed enough to get a few answers. She hadn't been worked up the way Ashley had wanted, but she'd quietly prodded, gently touching me until I gave in to her. Until I'd taken off her nightgown and reminded her just who lived with me.

Ashely had no clue that all she'd done was let Everly slip a little bit closer to me.

Just like now. I sling my arm along the back of her chair, and Ashley's entire face turns red when I lazily trace along Everly's shoulder blades. Even through the jacket, I can feel Everly lean into my touch, and I have to fight down the urge to leave this meeting. To take Everly with me and tell them to just email me the notes.

"How long do we have to get this done?" Andrew Prior sounds like he has less patience today. He doesn't look thrilled at what's being presented, and he certainly doesn't like me touching Everly. He frowns when my hand doesn't leave her, and I smile every time he looks right at me. Jack shares a similar expression, though he's annoyed he didn't put together Everly's presence at the dinner sooner.

"Three weeks." Max tells him. "Jeanine wants everything functioning by the New Year."

"And where is Jeanine?" Jack speaks up, leaning forward to place his chin on the top of his fingers. "Her absence is regrettably noticeable."

Max smiles offhandedly. He doesn't have a great answer, so he looks at Ashley, but she doesn't answer him. She's staring at Everly like she'd like to leap across this table and rip my arm away from her. After a second, Jeanine's other assistant nudges her, and Ashley looks up, startled.

"She's busy. She's been working on a few things and couldn't step away." She tries to sound confident. Jeanine would have given her a statement to announce if anyone asked, but her voice wavers. She's distracted, thrown off by her hatred of Everly.

Jack seems unimpressed with the answer.

"Curious. She calls for a meeting, then fails to attend." Jack leans back in his seat and crosses one leg over the other. "Is she that busy that she could ask all of us to clear our schedules but not herself?"

"She's…working on a few things." Ashley glares at him. She doesn't look so smug now as she's being called on her bullshit, and she knows it. I can see the unease bubbling beneath her skin, and I know if Jack keeps pressing her, she'll eventually snap.

I can see Everly watching intently, so intently she barely moves when I kick her ankle. I wanted her to look at me, but she's watching Max glare at Jack and Ashley, both at a standstill when Ashley can't come up with anything else to say.

"Alright, let's move on…"

Half an hour later, Max makes the last announcement. He says a quick thank you to all who attended and dismisses everyone who isn't returning. He reminds the rest of us to come back in fifteen minutes, and Everly looks relieved when everyone around her stands up.

"Eric, a word?"

I remain seated. I nod at Everly as she stands, silently telling her to go ahead and enjoy her break. She walks out with Jeremy, and I wait for Max to finish up with whatever he's looking at. After a brief second, he and Harrison walk over, and I recline back lazily.

"Yes?"

"Are Jason and Rylan scheduled for anything this evening? I'd like to find out who's been leaving the compound. We believe it's related to the factionless attacks. I want someone to follow them and see where they're going."

"Rylan isn't scheduled, Jason is. You want them both to go along?" I sit up slowly and glance at my watch. "I'm sure he won't care."

"Send Rylan." Harrison answers and he looks thoughtful. "He and Jason are too much of a distraction together. Send Rylan and someone else. We can meet up later to go over what he finds."

"Fine by me." I shrug, swinging my feet to the ground. "You think they're leaving tonight?"

I hadn't given much thought to the person leaving Dauntless. It wasn't a crime to get out for a bit, but this was something planned. Sneaky. They were taking great pains to avoid being caught, and it was likely they had some knowledge as to how Dauntless operated. They knew enough about our security systems and cameras to mess with them, and that lead me to believe I knew who it was.

Which meant that when they dragged him back in here, I'd take great pleasure in kicking him out.

Valid reason or not.

"Maybe." Max suddenly seems distracted, and he shoves past Harrison. "We'll talk more after the meeting."

Harrison raises his eyebrows at me, and I shrug again.

"Great." I announce flatly, and I stand up to go find Everly.

I'm assuming she's gone to get something to drink. I walk out of the conference room and out of the corner of my eye I see Ashley, lingering by the reception desk as Linda asks her something. Her eyes are on me, and I purposely avoid making eye contact with her. I let her stare as I walk by, and I know if I were to turn around, she'd take off toward me. She'd sink her nails in so she could let me have it for marrying someone other than her.

She'd always thought it would be her.

I find Everly standing in the hallway, waiting for me with a funny look on her face. She's watching Ashley watch me, and I put a stop to it immediately. I stalk over quickly, my eyes glued to her, and I stop right in front of her. I reach for her waist, yanking her toward me, and I stare down at her.

"There's a lot we can do in fifteen minutes."

I smirk as I bend down to kiss the frustrated look off her face. She reacts immediately; she steps back into the darkness of an empty office, never breaking apart from me. I walk us back a step further, until she's pressed up against the wall, and I could kill Max for eating up these few free minutes I have with her. I kiss her again, liking the way her hands have slid into my hair, and my own hands slip beneath her jacket. I find her warm skin and dig my fingers into her back. She breaks away first, taking in a slow, sharp inhale.

Her eyes are wide and sweet, but the look on her face tells me she has a lot of questions.

Unfortunately for her, I don't have time to answer them. Nor do I want to. So, I resume what I was doing before. I find the pale skin of her neck, and I press my lips there.

"Did you know she would be here?" She asks quietly, right as I attack her neck. I kiss her lazily, hating the amount of clothing between us. I do appreciate the way she tilts her head up, and her fingers tighten in my hair to hold me in place. "Eric?"

I shake my head, enjoying the way her skin tastes. My teeth sink into her, and she sighs.

"Did you normally sleep with her after these meetings?"

Her words make me break away from her with a dark look on my face, the same sharp anger popping up unexpectedly. I knew Ashley's presence wouldn't be a great thing for either of us, but Everly's questions just get worse and worse. "No."

I want to snap at her, because my answer isn't entirely true. In the later days, I hadn't. I had left these meetings without saying a word and gone to work on whatever it was I was doing. Not too long ago, I'd left these meetings to find Everly. But telling her this, that yes- at one point, I'd fucked Ashley minutes after Max was done with his speeches, wouldn't make this any better. It was a time before her, and it was a time I'd like to forget happened.

Everly looks at me, and I want to take her home. Right. Now. I want to take every single frustration I have out on her, because she's all I want, and every step forward seems like a thousand steps back. Unless I were to walk out there and snap Ashley's neck to the side, Everly will still always wonder about her. She'll always wonder if Ashley was more, and I can't quite grasp how to show her how wrong she is.

"We slept together a handful of times. Do you want the details of every single encounter?" I have to stop myself from growling the words at her. They come out angry, but not as angry as I'd expected.

Everly shakes her head at me, and her hands tighten around my neck. I'm thrown off when she rises up. "I was just curious. She was looking at you rather expectantly."

I let out a huff of exasperation, but there's a relief to her words. I'd thought this was about to launch another round of questioning, but Everly looks sort of amused now.

I shake my own head at her, flashing back to Max's announcement and the look on Ashley's face. "She must have missed the part when Max introduced just exactly who you are."

She smiles, her eyes right on mine. With that, she kisses me, sweetly, even when her nose bumps against mine and I eventually pull her back toward me. We stay like this, the minutes ticking away one after another, until I can hear Max yelling if anyone knew where Everly and I had gone.

 

 

 

Four's exit is brilliantly captured by the newest cameras.

Max's decision to send Rylan after him suddenly made sense. I'd been wondering how on Earth he knew the person would leave tonight, but once we lined up all the footage, there was a clear pattern. He left once a week, for the past few months, on the same day. The timing varied, but I suspected it was whenever he had the best opportunity to go.

And today was that day.

Everly stands next to me as we watch him disappear through the gates, over and over. Next to Everly is Max, Rylan- who must have visited Christina because his hair is now rather uncombed, and Jeremy- a good distance away. Harrison stands at the very end, watching the loops of security footage with a very displeased look on his face.

"This last time was the longest he's been gone." He announces, and he frowns. "I thought you had guards patrolling all exits."

"We do. But on this footage, he doesn't return for twelve hours. Different crew. It shows him here…" Rylan points at a spot on the map on the table. "But nowhere else. It's like he went through the gates and vanished. Patrols seven and eight both saw him coming back in but didn't stop him because he has clearance." Rylan stops to turn to Max. "Paul asked him a few hours later where he'd been. He told them he'd gone to check the generators. We've had a few outages in the outermost sections lately, so his excuse isn't that far-fetched."

Max doesn't look impressed.

He looks just as irritated as I feel.

"Let me guess." He speaks slowly, and I find myself smiling at what he's about to figure out. "There's no report of anyone actually checking the generators, now is there?"

Rylan shakes his head. "There's not even maintenance scheduled for them because we sent the team to Candor. They've lost power three times since the last snow storm."

Everly listens carefully; she bends her head down, examining the map before her while Rylan talks. I'm sure she's never seen it, or even thought about the boundary lines between the factions. To most, I'm sure it's fairly interesting; Dauntless is between Erudite and Candor. Amity is somewhat across from Dauntless, pleasingly far away. Abnegation is the smallest portion, nestled north of Erudite. The map also shows a maze of train tracks, old streets, and absolutely nothing past the fence.

"Did anyone think to question Four any further, or did we all just assume he needed some fresh air?" I can't help my delight as Max grows irate. Rylan cringes, and Jeremy shakes his head, his gaze still glued to the computer screen.

"I don't think anyone's questioned him, sir." Rylan looks at Everly, and Tori frowns at everyone in the room. She's been quiet, but she looks annoyed now.

"Has anyone seen him today?" Tori asks.

To no one's surprise, everyone shakes their heads no.

"I can go find him." Jeremy volunteers and I turn to look at him. I can't help but find him odd. His uniform is a shade lighter than everyone else's, and there's something off about his tone. Even his ambition irritates me, the way he's volunteering to go drag our trainer back into his own faction with so much enthusiasm.

"Let's leave him alone for now. We'll see if he does it again. It's not like the leaders can't be alerted if he tries it again." I stare him down, thinking back to Max's idea at the end of the meeting. "He's not going to offer up any information if you find him and ask."

Jeremy's head drops in response, and he looks slightly disappointed. I decide maybe he should go, maybe this will be serendipitous for Four to be brought back by Jeremy.

"True." Jeremy mutters. He nods, but he doesn't seem convinced. "But how can you be so sure he'll leave again?"

I smile at him, darkly, and he backs down immediately. "Because I know where he's going."

 

 

"How do you know where he's going?" Rylan walks so close to me that I have to shove him away when we round the corner. "Really, Eric? You know where he's going? We just discovered it's him who's been leaving. How do you know where he went?"

"I don't." I roll my eyes. "But I can figure it out."

"That's not what you said!" Rylan yells as I take the stairs two at a time, not bothering to wait for him.

After the security meeting, we'd been forced into another meeting. This one was about the newest technology updates from Erudite. Someone from their technology department spoke for a solid hour, never picking up on anyone's boredom, never changing their tone of voice. Halfway through, Max fell asleep. Everly curled herself up on the chair, and I could tell she wasn't paying attention at all. Rylan had spent his entire time texting Christina. Harrison looked up several ways to blow things up. I had halfway listened, wanting to point out that we already had updated some of the technology, but I mostly thought about how nice it would be when I could kick Four out of here. How much I'd love to see his sad little face when he heard the news. It would probably be the same one he had when he stomped in to demand we fix his keycards that had ceased to work for some unknown reason.

When the meeting finally concluded, and everyone was leaving, I stood up last. I turned and grabbed a half asleep Everly, and I kissed her. Really kissed her. I'm sure everyone in the room thought I'd lost my mind, but I hadn't. She was warm and soft, leaning into me for the past hour while the woman had droned on and on about these updates, and I'd wanted to tell her goodbye. I was about to be stuck with Rylan for the rest of the day, and I wouldn't see Everly until much later.

So, I kissed her, until I could tell she was struggling to breathe and then I waved her off. She'd stumbled away in surprise, watching me wave at her as she went to meet her friends.

"We'll catch him. Red handed. You and Jeremy will follow him out tonight. See what he's doing. My guess is he's visiting the factionless. He's not exciting enough to go anywhere else. He's certainly not going home." I snicker as Rylan smiles, and together, we reach the lower level.

"Wait, Jeremy? Why are you sticking me with that fucker?" Rylan sounds dully insulted now. "You can't go? Or Jason?"

"I have plans. And last time you and Jason went after someone, it didn't go so well, now did it?" I point out, and he shakes his head.

"Look, it was his idea to bring the beers. I just had a few." He sounds remorseful, but he agrees.

"Max thinks he's leaving tonight. Tell me, if you were Four, and you had nothing here. No one. Where would you go? Back to Abnegation? Or out for an exciting time with the people who also have nothing?" I smirk as I think of him getting caught leaving, and I shrug my shoulders in faux contemplation. "Whatever he's doing, it's related to the attacks. They went after him like they were pissed off on a personal level. We'll find out why."

"I'll find out why. I'm all over this." Rylan cheerfully answers, and I find myself smiling all the way to Clyde's.

 

 

 

Much to my delight, Rylan's mission is a success.

His text message comes late at night, right after Everly falls asleep, taking up most of my bed and her hand resting on my chest. I sit up, shoving the covers back and trying not to wake her. She doesn't move, except to pull the covers up higher when she immediately grows cold. I watch her for a second, preferring to lie back down with her, but there's no way I'm going to bed now.

Rylan has asked for Max and me to meet him and Jeremy, and he says it's urgent.

 

 

 

Despite my suspicion of him, Jeremy proves to be a valuable asset to the team. An annoying one, but still valuable. He stands next to Rylan with a pleased grin on his face, especially when I walk through the door.

"You were right. It was Four. He left, went to visit the factionless, and returned back to Dauntless all within two hours." He smiles while he talks, pleased to have such information.

"Where are they?" Max immediately questions him, sharply- because of the late hour. I would bet a week's pay he'd been asleep when Rylan texted him and it took him a long time to decide if this was worth getting up for. "Did you see what he was doing?"

"Not quite." Rylan answers, he looks directly at me. "There's something weird about –"

"The whole thing." Jeremy interrupts suddenly, shaking his head at everyone. "I mean, we're all wondering. Why is he visiting them? What business does he have going there? We couldn't exactly see what was going on."

Behind him, Rylan shoots me a pointed look. He looks unhappy, despite having been successful in discovering just what I had assumed.

"How far from here are they?" I ask.

"Thirty minutes on foot." Jeremy responds easily, and I tilt my head to the side. "We walked. We thought taking a truck would be too obvious."

"It would have." I answer sharply, and I look at Max. "There you go. You have your answer. Now what do you want us to do?"

"We lay off him." Rylan announces firmly, and I look over at him in confusion. "He's gonna figure out sooner or later that we're onto him. We don't need to run down there and throw this in his face. We didn't see what he did or why he was there. We can't blow the lead we've gotten."

"Are you serious?" Jeremy asks just a little too loudly. "We're letting him go?" The disappointment on his face is just as loud. I'm sure he was thinking this would solidify his position in Dauntless as a leader. Discovering treason from one of our own would make him look fantastic, and it was even better that it was Four.

"He's not here. But yes. We didn't actually see him do anything. Talking to the factionless isn't illegal." Rylan points out, and the tension between them is thick. I suddenly wonder what transpired on this mission that prompted Rylan's reluctance to move forward on this. "Obviously, he went for a reason. It could be related to the attacks, or it might not. We need more time to be sure. If we go find him now, he's not gonna talk."

I notice Jeremy looks uneasy now, and he shifts his weight back and forth. "So, we let him go back there again? And follow him a few more times?"

"Yeah." Rylan answers slowly. "I think that's our best plan. We can use him to our advantage. Maybe he knows something we don't."

"Doubtful." I snap, greatly disliking this turn of events. "But I suppose I agree. We hold off on talking to Four until we have concrete evidence he's involved. Until then, we keep an eye on him."

Max doesn't look sold on the idea, but he agrees with us, mostly so he can go back to bed. "Fine. Just keep me updated." He pauses to squint at Jeremy, hesitating for a fraction of a second. "Nice work tonight. You've done well. Both of you."

His words are loud in the quiet room, but they're the sort of reassurance Jeremy wanted. He smiles slightly, nodding as Max leaves us.

Rylan stays quiet.

"Alright, well I'm heading home. I'll uh, I guess I'll see you next week. Same time. Same place." Jeremy waits until one of us acknowledges him, then he leaves with one last look back over his shoulder. There's an awkwardness to him, one that could be blamed on his newness as a Leader, but that's not quite it. I halfway expect him to return, but he doesn't. Rylan stays silent just until the door shuts completely, then he turns to me and sighs.

"You can't go after him. Not now. Maybe not for a few weeks."

"Why the fuck not? You want to explain that little change of heart back there? Are you Four's best friend now? I backed you up because I agree. I want evidence of what he's doing. But I'm not good with letting him wander around as he pleases." I retort, not at all happy. I was fine to sit and wait for solid proof, but this was starting to sound like Rylan knew something I didn't, and he wasn't sharing that information.

And that pissed me off.

"That's just it. He's not doing anything." Rylan answers quickly. "Eric, trust me on this."

I stare at him.

"I got as close as I could. Without Jeremy. And yes, Four did meet with them. But not for the reasons we're thinking. I think he knows one of them. Like, really knows them. He spent a good hour pleading with the woman who I think is in charge." He pauses, only to look right at me and shrug. "You won't care, I know. But I think she's his mom."

I still stare at him.

He's right, I don't care.

Even though this would be an impressive feat if it were true.

"His mother is dead." I remind him, not at all wanting to rehash Four's terrifically tragic upbringing. "She's not…"

"Yeah, I know. I heard the story. But, stay with me here, I don't think she's dead. I think she's with the factionless and I think she's trying to start something. Four was there, but he definitely didn't look happy. And definitely not like someone trying to ramp up an army just to kill you." Rylan argues.

"It's not just me." I spit out quickly, but I'm struggling to find a speck of sympathy for Four even if what Rylan said was true. "But you want to just let him continue what he's doing because he found out his mommy is alive? I don't think so. Maybe we should bring him in."

"Eric, no." Rylan says the words again, and I freeze in place. "He's trying to stop her. Trust me on this one. I don't have any reason to try to save his ass. They were arguing, and he only left when he got pissed off enough. He wasn't there attempting to do much of anything, other than stop her. But if you go after him now, you could blow our chance to find out what she's planning. Because she's plotting something. And I doubt it's good."

It takes me a long time to let Rylan's words sink in, but I finally nod.

I agree to let him figure out what Four's trying to stop, but I'm not happy about it.

 

 

 

Daniel calls on my walk back home.

I have half a mind to block his number, but for some reason, I don't. I enjoy the satisfaction of watching his call going to voicemail, knowing he could always attempt to call me at any time, but I won't answer.

He calls a second time, and I swear he must have some alert for when I'm pissed off and that's when he chooses to brighten my day with his pathetic attempts to talk to me.

"Yes?" I answer quickly, but there's silence on the other end. I wait what seems like an unnaturally long time before the phone makes a clicking sound, and he says hello. Choppily.

"What do you want?" I bark into the phone, walking back to the apartment. I walk along in the darkness, the low lighting seeming extra dim tonight. "Daniel?"

"Eric!" He yells my name, and I pull the phone away from my ear to glare at it. "Sorry, the connection is spotty. How are you?"

"I'm fine." I answer through gritted teeth, trying not to remind him that I'm underground and its unlikely I'll have amazing reception. "Now, what do you want?"

He ignores my polite tone.

"I was calling to check on Everly. I wanted to see if she was feeling better." He cheerfully answers back, and I stop in my tracks. I'd forgotten I'd called him, and now I don't know what's worse- that I called him in a panic, or that he knew I was panicked.

"She's…fine." I tell him, turning left and nearly taking out someone walking by. They let out a shriek of terror, and rightfully so. I'm sure the look on my face is full of rage, and my posture – straight spine, clenched fists- doesn't help. "She's better. It wore off."

"Good. Good." He stops talking, and I hear him type something. I vaguely wonder what it could be, considering it's fairly late for him to be at work. "Have you given any thought to stopping by? Maybe she'd like to come see-"

"She's very busy." I cut him off and I can feel the start of a headache coming on.

"What uh, what…job did she take?" His voice trails off at the end as he grasps for a way to keep this conversation going. He's normally well spoken, but he's not well versed in the positions available in Dauntless. Though I had to admit, I'm shocked Arlene hasn't filled him in. I contemplate unblocking her phone number temporarily.

"Arlene said you uh, you and Everly were working together still. She started to say something about you maybe having some free time in a few months, but that Everly might not be feeling too great then. Something about…"

My phone cuts out. I automatically take a few steps forward, unaware that I've walked so it'll reconnect.

"Are the new vaccines administered that frequently? Didn't she just get them? I was trying to think of why she wouldn't be feeling well. Unless…" Daniel trails off, too polite and too cowardly to continue asking me what he really wants to.

I come to a dead halt. For the second time.

I'm well aware of what she was hinting to him. If he thinks we're about to swing by for lunch so Everly can announce we're having a child, he's out of his mind.

"Arlene also mentioned she suggested you see some counselor?"

He sounds confused now. He's the only one talking, and I'm suddenly angry enough I can't see straight. He knew exactly what counselor she was talking about. Arlene had implied that neither Everly nor myself would keep up to date on the birth control. The family planning counselor she spoke of was her, but even she had to know that having a child with Everly was laughable. Everly was barely eighteen years old, and the thought of knocking her up would mean a slew of things neither of us had time to deal with. Not to mention the fact that if it were to get out that my wife was pregnant, she'd be an even higher security risk than she already was.

"Eric?"

Forget unblocking Arlene. I was about to block her right into the chasm.

"No. I will not be having any free time and Everly won't be feeling sick. She's fine. She's…asleep right now, but she's not sick and she certainly won't be sick ever again." I march the rest of the way, hissing when I reach the door. "Thanks for calling."

I say the last part as nastily as possible, fully prepared to hang up before he can get in another word. I might have understood Arlene's meddling in my life, I could even appreciate her concern for Everly, but telling Daniel this sort of shit didn't sit well with me.

"You're welcome. I hope you and Everly have a nice night."

And that's it. The phone disconnects, and I stand there, in front of my apartment door, staring at it in rare surprise.

For once, Daniel has hung up before me.

On me.

I don't know why, but this bothers me. Enough that it's all I think about until I climb back in bed and fall asleep.

 

 

 

The rest of the week is a slow blur of training Everly and balancing my own workload.

She's surprised to discover that being a Leader requires more work than one thought. I show her all the emails that pop up, one after the other, each claiming to be the most important thing I'll read today. I show her the spreadsheets used to balance budgets for every single section of Dauntless. I'm pleased when she catches on, typing away just as fast as I can, and she only deletes a few important items.

Her afternoons are spent in the control room.

It's not my highest choice for her, but it's first on her agenda of areas to cover and an important area of Dauntless. She seems impressed by it, even though she's been in here once before. I smirk when I think of her standing in here, having been brought in with Max, like a lamb ready to be slaughtered.

Today, the control room is busy, but calm. To my delight, Four isn't on a single one of the shifts she'll be working. I'd like to pretend it's not entirely due to my suggestion to Kacie that he work nothing but nights for a while, and it doesn't hurt that Kacie seems to find him annoying.

She seems to find Everly annoying as well, or maybe it's just the fact that Everly isn't bothered or impressed by her. Or the fact that I had forced Kacie to let Everly train during the day, rather than at night like everyone else had. I much preferred our nights together, and having her spend them sitting here, watching the darkness, didn't seem worthwhile to me. So, I'd flat out told Kacie that Everly would work with her this week, and she'd agreed because she didn't have a choice.

Now Everly sits in one of the desk chairs while I stand behind her, showing her a few things. I had never worked in here as a routine position, but Jason and Rylan often did, utilizing the security cameras and sometimes just escaping for a few hours. It is quiet, out of the way, and inaccessible unless you have a keycard. You could sit in here for hours without anyone bothering you, so long as they thought you were working.

I show Everly how to do a few easy tasks on the computer, ignoring the chatter around us. After a while, she looks up at me from beneath her hair, and I smile when she nudges me on purpose.

"Are you leaving me here by myself?"

"Kacie's going to train you this week. It'll go by fast. And it's a nice break from doing paperwork." I point out, letting my chin rest on the top of her head for just a second. No one is outright paying attention to us, except they are. The guy a few seats over stares at Everly from time to time, then goes back to watching the screens.

"It seems like it." Everly agrees, and she leans back slightly. "How many people normally work in here?"

"Depends on the day." I watch the screen before us, a bright shot of Candor, and Everly reaches out to touch it. It immediately zooms in, showing us the front of Jack's office building. Once I decide Everly is fine on her own, I lean back, my hands touching her shoulders briefly as I get ready to leave her. I catch her pleading look that I stay, especially as Kacie takes the seat beside her.

"Bye Amity. I'll meet you later."

She gives me a dirty look, one that intensifies when Kacie inspects her without bothering to pretend she isn't. She makes a disapproving tsk at Everly's leggings and off the shoulder shirt and grows visibly bothered when Everly pushes her hair back over her shoulders.

Everly picks up on her disdain.

"Alright. Bye Eric." She says my name sweetly, looking up at me with an expression that makes me regret having to leave her here. I watch Kacie's eyes flash darkly, and I smirk at the both of them.

Everly said my name in a way that not many have, and she's the only one who could ever really get away with it.

 

 

 

Her second week of training is rougher.

Faster, but rougher.

She takes everything in, doing her best to keep on top of it all, but the days are just as long as her initiation. By the end of Friday, I can see the exhaustion peeking through, especially when we head to the trainers' gym and out the doors, instead of going home.

"This way, Amity."

To her credit, she runs alongside me, keeping up the entire time.

I flash back to her training, the early mornings we spent together, and how she tried just as hard then. We stop on top of the same dilapidated parking garage, and she stands just as close to me as she did then. She surveys the city below us, the sun sinking into bright orange, except this time, I take hold of her hand and slide my fingers between hers.

 

 

On Friday, she falls asleep at an obnoxiously early hour.

I should have seen it coming. All week she'd been falling asleep earlier than normal, and tonight would be no exception. She'd been pretty quiet while I made dinner, sitting at the table and reading her manual. But her posture was wobbly. Her shoulders slumped every so often, and she blinked when I handed her a plate, like she'd forgotten we were eating dinner.

I took a phone call while she showered, listening to Jason shrilly debate the email I'd sent out. He was surprisingly eco conscious; he had agreed with the question about our hazardous waste material disposal, and my snappy response had displeased him. While I listened to him argue over whether or not it was a biohazard that we burned whatever waste we could, I also listened to Everly fumble in the dresser drawers, looking for something to wear. By the time I hung up, Jason only pacified when I told him if he felt so strongly about such a project that he could oversee it, Everly was asleep.

Which had not been on my agenda for this evening.

I'd been looking forward to this night all day long. Despite my reluctance to acknowledge what I felt for her, I was fine admitting that I liked her. That I cared about her. That I wanted to take her home, undress her, and show her all that without ever saying it. In fact, I'd planned it all out. I made her a dinner I knew she liked, one with far more noodles and less vegetables than I'd liked, and I'd even had a movie picked out. It was something creepy, that would force her close to me, and I had plans to distract her when she grew too scared to watch it.

Now, I sit on the bed, a petulant frustration washing over me as I realize she is sound asleep. Slow, deep breathing, her eyes shut, and her hand splayed across my pillow. She looks peaceful and lovely, her dark hair a damp mess in a now useless ponytail, and her body curled up beneath my sheets.

After a long week this is what she needs, and it's the exact opposite of what I want.

So, I shove her shoulder to wake her up.

After a moment, she does.

"Are you really going to sleep right now?" I ask sulkily. I dislike the whine that sneaks its way into my tone, but I can't help it. Everly had gone to bed early every night this week. I had been fine with it; I had caught up on a few things, watched a documentary about serial killers who were long dead, and eventually, gone to sleep when I was bored enough.

But tonight, I am not bored. I'd like to spend some time with her, and she can sleep after that. In fact, I know she'll sleep well, once she's done groaning my name.

Luck is not on my side. Everly opens her eyes blearily. She sits up slowly, looking like she's miles away, and the sleep is heavy behind her eyes. "What time is it?"

I stare at her, realizing my plans for this evening are going to be a massive failure.

"Eight thirty." I scowl at her, because there's no chance in hell she's staying awake. "Are you really that tired? You've fallen asleep early every night this week."

Everly stares at me, her bangs falling in her eyes and I have to wonder what took me so long to realize how pretty she is.

"Oh, do you miss me, Eric?" She sleepily teases, the same way I'd teased her all those weeks ago. I'd find her amusing if I wasn't about to go to bed just as frustrated as I had been during her training.

"Funny." I mutter darkly. I reach up to tug the pony tail out of her hair, and it falls down, the strands silky and wet. It's obvious I'll be spending the night alone. Again. "I guess you should go back to sleep."

I sit there glowering at her, and she looks at me, her lips turning up ever so slightly.

"I am really tired." Everly answers, pausing to look right at me. "But you could lie down with me."

She looks at me expectantly, like I should jump on this prestigious offer of lying next to her and suffering.

"I'm not exactly in the mood to sleep." I retort, wondering if she's aware that even though I'm sitting here, wanting to do anything but go to bed, and that I've missed her company. My apartment has been ultra-quiet, except for the noise from the tv and my brain, and I've missed having her on the couch next to me.

Not that I'd tell her anything of the sort.

"You could still lie down for a minute." Everly reaches out to touch my fingers, and I shrug. I don't want to lie down beside her, but I suppose it's better than sitting on my couch and basking in the glow of the tv screen. I placate her by lying down with zero enthusiasm, sighing heavily. Everly immediately turns to face me, resting her head on my chest and pressing herself as close as possible. She slides her leg between mine, and I clench my jaw.

"Is this a record for you? Two weeks?" She mumbles the words against my chest, and I find myself stiffening. In a couple of ways.

"Hardly."

"Just admit that you miss me." Everly keeps on with her traitorous ways. She curls herself into me, until her hips press against mine, and her warm skin is all I can feel.

I have no answer except to grunt my displeasure at her.

"I think you could admit that." Her voice is soft now, hinting at something -always, that there are things she'd like me to confess. I can't help but think back to her asking me if I loved her, and the way I'd unconsciously answered her. Even now, pressed against me like she's never not slept here, I find myself giving in.

"Fine." My words feel painful, like I'm scraping them out. "I don't like it when you aren't awake."

Everly moves her head ever so slightly, and I get the impression that's not what she wanted to hear.

"That's not what I said, Eric." She pushes her leg further through mine, until there is no space between us at all.

Really, there never had been any.

"Close enough." I say the words while I smooth her hair down. There's something nice about the fact that she showered here, climbed into my bed, and fell asleep. That she's curled into me, about to fall back asleep.

And she does.

Easily.

Within a minute, her breathing slows down, and her body relaxes. I lie there holding onto her, until my own eyes grow tired and I shut them.

I enjoy the feeling of the weight of her against me, and as I drift off, I can't help but think that maybe, just maybe, things will calm down and I can tell her a few more things.

 

 

 

"Eric."

My name is groaned, the vowels and consonants dragged out as she digs her fingers into my hair. I'd woken up somewhat early, having grown tired even in my sleep of waiting for Everly to rise on her own.

I'd pushed the covers back, pushed her sorry excuse for pajamas up to her waist, and sunk my teeth into the inside of her thigh. It hadn't taken long for her to really wake up, especially when I slide the flimsy pink fabric off her, tossing it somewhere to the side of the bed.

"Are you still tired?"

I mutter the words against her skin, pleased at the red mark that's been left behind. If someone were to examine Everly closely, the physical prints of our relationship are all over her. I'd been careful to never hurt her, but there were certainly enough bite marks and red splotches that would give anyone the answers to their unspoken questions.

"No, no I'm not, no, Eric."

This time, my name is a squeak, as I realize that little Amity, from the land of free love and hideous, outdoor sex enjoying boyfriends, has never had anyone go down on her. She wriggles and writhes, both out of frustration and embarrassment, until her head falls back onto my pillow in sheer submission.

I ignore what this does to me.

"Stop squirming." I murmur, my nose against her skin as I pull away. Her hands grip my hair in wild defeat, ruining the part, and she tries to pull me back against her. I smirk into her skin, as she does her best to hold still, impatiently waiting for me to keep going.

"Too bad you fell asleep early last night." I point out as she groans, and my fingers tighten on her hip bone. She stills immediately, and I hum with delight that not only will I make sure she enjoys this, but she will remember it was me who did this to her.

No one else.

"Good girl."

Not much later, she comes again, this time while I slide in and out of her, slowly, deliberately, until there is nothing but a hazy drunk feeling of utter orgasmic bliss and her legs wrapped around mine.

 

 

 

My weekend is over far too quickly for my liking.

We spend it making up for Everly's time sleeping, and it works out well for the both of us. Which means Monday feels like a slap in the face, especially when I sit down with Jack and his assistants to discuss their thoughts on the new serums. To my surprise, Jack doesn't like them, and he's hesitant to use them.

I listen to him for a good hour, his assistants occasionally interjecting here and there, until I've heard every counter argument they could possibly come up with.

"I understand." I answer, and I shift in my chair. "Unfortunately, if they produce positive results, they'll go into production per Jeanine's orders. She's looking out for the factions. That's the bottom line. There's nothing to worry about."

Jack frowns, and I frown right back.

My words are an utter lie.

They are along the lines of the same bullshit I've been spewing for years, believing in every word that came out of her mouth without question.

"Will you be administering them here? To all your members?" Jack asks, his voice heavy with intent.

"Yes. If you must know, we've begun testing them out already. So far, we've had no real reactions to them." I answer quickly, knowing Everly had received a smaller dose than was used in the vaccines, and eventually, she'd become immune to them. I don't mention that she felt like garbage for a few days, because the end result will be worth it.

"And your wife has had them?"

I blink at his words, surprised he'd ask me that. But before I can answer, my wife steps through the door, looking absolutely livid. Her eyes are wide and wild, and her skin has a pink flush to it- the anger visible even from a distance.

She completely ignores everyone sitting in my office and zeroes directly in on me.

"Were you going to tell me you'd decided we should have a baby?" Everly questions loudly, her gaze glued to me. Jack's head turns slowly, taking in the sight of Everly, and I'm sure he's wondering how she missed him sitting right there. Regrettably, she looks so worked up I half expect her to ask me to divorce her right then and there.

"Eric?"

But it's her words that catch me off guard. I sit there, with the Leader of Candor and his assistants in front of me, and she asks me that. I'm not often surprised, but my jaw has dropped slightly, and I hear her question echo over and over, her disdain and horror at the thought of us having a child together bouncing off the walls of my office.

I'm silent.

Jack coughs.

I compose myself quickly; I steel my expression back to something I'd reserve for Four and I glare at her. I don't quite have the words ready yet, but Jack steps in before I can say anything.

"Hello, Everly." Jack greets her cordially, but his tone is highly amused. To him, there is nothing more entertaining than Everly storming in here, after just being announced as my wife, demanding my thoughts on reproducing. She looks over at him slowly, and her eyes widen in shock when she sees him sitting there.

"Hi."

She sounds horrified.

To her credit, she's now realized I wasn't alone when she decided to barge in here, and she's paled considerably. I rise up from the desk slowly, my stare stuck right on her.

"Everyone this is my wife, Everly." I manage to say the words through gritted teeth, noticing every single stare that Jack's assistants exchange. I make the decision to remove Everly from here, immediately. "If you'll excuse us for a moment."

I stalk around my desk and grab her by the elbow. I take a second, so it doesn't look like I'm about to throw her out, but I none too gently shove her through the office door.

"I…uh…so I was just going." Everly panics. I've never seen her look so thrown off, but I can tell she's realized the error of her ways. She looks everywhere but at me, and I wonder what I did to deserve this moment.

"Everly." I say her name lowly, pleased when she looks at me like I might kill her. "Don't you think if I wanted to have a baby I would have mentioned that to you?"

This could go one of two ways. She'll either voice her concerns over having a child, or she'll be apologetic for interrupting this meeting. Fortunately, my wife is easily distracted. She chooses neither option; and instead, she stares at my lips, then my eyes, then my lips again. I can see her forcing herself to focus now that her panic is subsiding.

"No." She answers firmly, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "I don't."

"No?" I can't help but grin at her. Even if she'd just ruined this meeting, and I now have to go back in and explain myself to Jack, I can't be entirely mad at her. I had a hunch that sooner or later, Arlene would catch up to her. Or Arlene's words would. Arlene could only be quiet for so long, and it was obvious she was dying for some excitement. Adding a newborn to the mix was clearly what she was hoping would spice this place up.

"You failed to mention that we were married." Everly reminds me, and I smile even wider. I think back to when she found out, and she had the same look on her face as she does now.

"I told you." I shrug, not really seeing a problem there.

"That's right." Everly looks me dead in the eyes. "You told me, you didn't ask me."

She has the nerve to sound put out, as though she'd been expecting some elaborate proposal. I roll my eyes at the very idea of it all.

"Fine. Everly, will you marry me?"

She's unimpressed. She puts her hands on her hips and looks adorably annoyed for someone who was hellbent on ruining my sparkling reputation with Jack Kang. "Stop changing the subject."

I smirk. "Fine. We'll discuss this later. I've got to finish this meeting before Max returns." I stare at her, and she bites her lip.

"Okay. But Eric, Arlene told Molly…" Everly stops midsentence, and she looks like she regrets saying anything. Or everything. I stare behind her, with the sinking feeling that while this had Arlene's name written all over it, Everly was now nervous. That Everly would think every decision I made would be behind her back, with the reasoning of her safety always attached to it.

"I wouldn't get you pregnant without you knowing what I was doing. I hope you don't think that I would." I shrug my shoulders at her, and I can't help the lingering thought that she had sounded like it would have been the worst thing in the world to have a child with me. I'd never wanted a child, never even entertained the thought of having one, but this feels like a sharp cut to my skin.

"I've never even thought about having children, so don't worry." I finish the words quickly, making sure only she can hear me. They sound casual enough to me, and they must to her as well.

Everly nods her head, her dark hair slipping in her eyes for a split second before she shakes it away. I stare at her, a heavy moment passing between us as I realize this isn't sitting well with me, and her reaction to it might be the worst of all.

Maybe my original thinking was right.

I shouldn't tell her how I feel. This was what I needed to see, that Everly Coulter may be my wife, and may not want to mess this up, but she didn't want anything more than that.

Which is fine.

I lean in, kissing her cheek quickly in silent reassurance that I didn't want to ever do anything of the sort with her, and I return to my office, to try and explain myself to Jack.

I don't wait to see if she leaves, but I do sit there after Jack and his minions have left, staring at the background on my computer until Max comes to find me.


	20. The Confessions of Eric Coulter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! My son was sick all this week, and then I wound up super sick with whatever he had. So this is a day late, but I hope you enjoy it just the same!
> 
> Thanks so much to Bamberlee for editing it!
> 
> Thanks so much to all those reading + reviewing!

I find Arlene taking someone's temperature.

I'd stormed past the empty reception desk without saying a word. My blind rage had subsided to something on par with cold blooded murder. I felt oddly calm, because it wasn't that I wanted to kill her, not yet. I still needed Everly to get a few more shots, and if Arlene was dead, that meant my personal business would be pried into by someone else. So, for now, she would live to see another day.

But there were a few things I needed to say, and she was going to hear them.

Whether she wanted to or not.

"I'll be with you shortly, Coulter. You can wait over there."

She shoots me a condescending look as I stalk up to her, and her look darkens when I rip the thermometer right out of her hand and throw it to the side. It lands loudly; clanking against a bed before exploding with a bang that echoes through the infirmary. The guy sitting in front of Arlene is pale and sweaty, enough that even I can tell he has a fever, and he leans away from me as I cock my head at Arlene.

She's unfazed.

"Fine. I guess I'll find out what you need then I'll send you the bill to have that replaced."

"Fuck off. Take it out of your own check." I snarl, and she glares at me.

"I can't wait to hear why you're in here. I'm sure it's riveting." Arlene crosses her arms over her chest and looks at the guy in front of her. "Kevin, I'll be right back. Lie down and I'll send someone over. You come with me."

She motions for me to follow her, but the look on her face is incredibly irritated. I share the same expression. I do follow her, pretending to listen to her orders, and she stupidly walks us out of the main infirmary and into the hallway.

"What the fuck has gotten into you?" She asks, and I have to stop myself from destroying something else. Maybe this wall. Maybe this whole infirmary. Maybe Kevin.

"What did you say to Everly?" I demand, and her eyes immediately flash with guilt. "What did you say, Arlene? She just came storming into my office, interrupting a meeting with Jack, to ask why I'd decided we should have a baby. A baby. She thinks I want to have a child with her, and I wasn't going to tell her." My rant is short and sharp, and apparently- not at all impactful.

"Don't you?" Arlene asks, cocking her head. "You can't tell me that the idea of having a family with her isn't appealing to you? Who would have thought that you, Eric, could be the poster child for the perfect family here? If you can get people to follow in your steps by fucking near a waterfall, perhaps you can get them to help populate the factions."

"It's not your business." I answer hotly, no longer bothering to be quiet. "Leave her alone. Stay out of our lives. Whatever you said to her, or Molly- who by the way, you tell one more person about my private life and I'll make sure neither of you are seen again…whatever you said bothered her enough to come storming after me."

Arlene stays quiet, and her own jaw clenches down.

"My meeting. She interrupted my meeting with Jack Kang. Who had a hard time not laughing for the rest of his visit." I grit out and my hands tighten into fists. It had taken everything I had in me to play it off like Everly hadn't dropped by unannounced. Jack didn't seem to mind her interruption, but he spent the rest of the meeting smiling in a way that told me he'd found a weakness. That I was distracted and unfortunately frazzled by the appearance of her.

And he knew it.

"You can't blame this on me. Molly was trying to set Everly up for her birth control reminders. However, you failed to fill out any personal information for her, other than your own. And since we can't call or email you, we could only conclude that you aren't going to see her birth control reminders, and it wouldn't bother you if she got pregnant." Arlene squints at me, and I realize she has a point.

One I refuse to acknowledge.

"You were thinking nothing of the sort." I snarl. "You just wanted to-"

"You think my life is so boring that I'm waiting around for you to do something stupid? I'm not. I have plenty going on. But I will tell you this." Arlene takes a step closer to me and stares me down like I couldn't stab her with her own pen. "Don't fuck this up, Eric. She's good for you. Don't push her away."

"I'm not." This time, my words are said through clenched teeth. "But you might. Leave Everly alone. Do you hear me? If she and I decided…you know what? No. No more discussion about this."

I stop suddenly, and I realize Arlene looks taken aback.

"Did she tell you she didn't want to have a child?"

"She's been here for months. That's it." I point out quickly, and I feel my shoulders lower. "She has enough going on. She looked horrified when she was in my office."

"Well then." Arlene stares at me from behind her glasses and she looks heavily displeased. "Alright. I'll make sure she has a standing appointment for her birth control shot. But I think you should reconsider…"

"Arlene." I snarl again, and feeling marginally better, I give her one more dirty look. "I mean it. She already doesn't want to come down here. Don't make this any worse. You'll apologize to her. Tell her you'll stay out of her personal business from here on out."

"Fine. Fine." Arlene steps around me to return to Kevin. "You win. I apologize for thinking of your future."

" _ARLENE_." I threaten her loudly enough that a few nurses peer around the corner, their eyes immediately widening when they see me standing there. "Fuck off."

Finally, Arlene shakes her head. "Fine. Sorry your meeting got interrupted. We all know Jack Kang is the most important Leader of all the factions. Let's hope he finds the grace to ignore this little mishap. And you know what, I'll never look out for you again. But then don't come crying to me when something goes wrong."

"I'd rather die than come to you." I tell her flatly.

Arlene rolls her eyes and I know her words are a promise that's way too good to be true. I watch her return to Kevin, giving me one final, unimpressed sneer. I give her one right back, just before I rush past a very wide-eyed Molly who looks ready to crawl under her desk.

I throw her a dirty look, too.

Just for good measure.

 

 

 

"Are you tired?"

It's the middle of the night when Everly asks me such a question. The queen of sleeping is gently touching my arm, suddenly wide awake when she shouldn't be. "Eric?"

Her voice is tiny in the dark, and she shoves me hard enough that I open my eyes to pitch black. I rub them a few times, and she sighs, her hands resting on my bicep.

"Sorry." She apologizes quietly when she realizes that I was, in fact, asleep, but her fingers dig into my skin. "I just keep waking up and I thought maybe you were awake."

"I am now." I answer slowly, trying to figure out what time it is. I squint at the clock just past her, and I grunt when I realize it's nearly two in the morning. "What's wrong, Everly?"

As soon as I say her name, she pushes my arm out of the way and slides back against me so she can lie down. She rests her head on my chest and puts one arm over my stomach, like she had been waiting for this moment. I lie there silently, until she sighs heavily.

"I'm really sorry about interrupting your meeting today. I just…I had lunch with Molly and Christina and Molly told me…that…and then I decided I needed to talk to you in person. I didn't know he was in there."

I can't help but yawn, and I slide my arm around her back to hold her closer.

"It's fine. Jack Kang was too busy laughing to debate any further, so he left agreeing to try out the serums. So, I guess it worked out." I stare down at her hair, though really, it's just as dark as the room. "I wouldn't worry about it."

"But I am." Everly responds, and she sounds tired. "I didn't know you were in a meeting. I feel really stupid for walking in like that. I didn't even knock."

"No, you definitely didn't." My words aren't as sarcastic as they sound, but I'm tired. Really tired. My brain has been working overtime to figure out just what to do with my wife, just what to tell her, and the best way to keep us both alive. Neither of us needed Arlene intervening in our lives or the added anxiety of a pregnancy.

But I had to admit that somewhere, in the furthest corner of my mind, a small part of my brain felt like it was slowly being woken up. It was starting to pick up on the subtleties that I'd ignored for so long, and it seemed to have a lust to make my life as uncomfortable as possible by noticing them. By pricking at my skin, pointing out that Everly's look of horror hurt and there was nothing that I could do to get rid of it. I was stuck feeling every single thought that popped into my head. Like now. I flash back to her expression and it settles right into my stomach, heavy and boiling. I know from experience that no amount of punching – whether it be people or things, would alleviate the feeling, either.

Even now I can feel it. She shifts her body toward mine, her feet pushing on my calves and her arm tightening, and it feels hard to swallow.

"It's fine. Go back to sleep. Jack will forget about it. Or not. Either way, it doesn't matter." I mumble the words because truly, it doesn't matter. Jack will have had a good laugh all the way back to Candor, but he'd looked at Everly no differently. He didn't dislike her because she interrupted us, nor did he find her stupid for asking me such a question. He liked things black and white, and her blunt, never-ending questioning was something he could appreciate.

If anything, he probably really liked her now.

"Okay." Everly answers, her voice soft enough to disappear into the air. She eventually relaxes, and I think of a million other things to tell her to help ease her worry over this.

I don't end up saying anything. I fall asleep with one hand on the back of her head, my fingers laced through her hair.

 

 

In an attempt to start my day on time, I get up early and take a shower.

In an attempt to alleviate some of the low burning tension between us, Everly joins me in the shower.

There are few things in life that catch me off guard but turning around to her standing there- her long, dark hair tumbling down over her shoulders until it reaches the bottom of her ribcage, her tiny self barely visible in the steam, well, that was one of them.

"Hi Everly." I greet her lowly, knowing full well she'd been standing there while I washed my face. The look on her face tells me she had plenty of time to stand there and stare at my ass. I don't know what's more pleasing: the guilty expression on her face, or the confidence in the way she steps forward, walking right up to me.

"Hi Eric." She stops right in front of me, reaching her arms out to loop around my neck. There is no hesitation on her part at all; she rises up on her toes to kiss me. She kisses me far differently than the Everly who used her sweetness to wear me down. This Everly kisses me forcefully, spurred on by something I haven't experienced before.

For a few minutes, there is nothing but she and I in my shower. My hands cradle her head, her hair slowly growing damp from the water and her skin warm and soft. I pull her back a step so she's closer to the water, and she shivers when my hands move to trail down her side. She presses herself right up against me, and for one moment, I think maybe I'm still dreaming. I kiss her impatiently, having a very vague idea of where this is going as she pushes harder, her fingers digging into my neck.

Fuck going to work on time.

"I'll help you wash your hair." I stop kissing her so I can drink in the sight of her, and she nods with a big smile on her face.

I don't look away.

I grab the first bottle my fingers touch. Everly turns around to face the wall, and I stall, taking in the sight before me. Everyone I'd ever been with had been taller than her. But there's something about her, half the size of me, that makes this all the better. I can't look away from her, not even when I dump out whatever is in the bottle into my hand. The air grows hotter as I work it through her hair, and I can see Everly's eyes close as my fingers dig into her scalp. I work slowly, watching every single minute expression on her face. Her head lolls back into my touch, her whole body leans into me, and the feeling of her wet hair against my chest pushes me over the edge.

I'm sure she can't miss my erection throbbing against the back of her, and it takes everything in me to continue at my current pace. I'm so impatient I can barely see straight. But I like the way she makes these tiny sounds, satisfied as I press my fingers down her neck, along the span of her shoulders, then down her back.

"Eric, I…"

She starts to say something but stops the minute I grab her hips. I nudge her legs apart, and she sucks in a breath of air.

"Good morning, Everly."

I make sure she's right where I want her, and I push forward, entering her with a quick thrust. Despite the warm and lush feeling of being in the shower, I have no desire to take this slow. The feeling of her, tight and wet and oh so familiar, takes over. I lose myself in it, letting everything fall away except for the sight of her, wet hair tangled down her back, bubbles slipping over her shoulders, her head falling forward, spine arching, and the feel of her tight around my dick. I have no clue what's gotten into her, but I can't say I dislike it. I like it even more as she groans in pure delight, until she suddenly jerks forward and swears.

"Fuck!"

Despite my keen observation skills, I'm a little distracted. I hazily realize she's wiping furiously at her eye, and she makes a sound of frustration when I stop thrusting into her.

"I was trying." I mutter, and I realize she doesn't find me amusing. She wipes at her eye again, blinking to get rid of the soap. "Here."

I pull out of her completely, my body protesting the action angrily, and I help her rinse her hair out. I watch with great interest as she stands there soaking wet, her hair everywhere and her eye red. I smirk when she frowns, her plans to seduce me in the shower now ruined. I push her wet hair off her face, then lean in to kiss her. "I still think I prefer you in my bed."

She lets out a huff, but it's good natured. She loops her arms back around me, attacking me with a vengeance as though seconds ago she wasn't about to go blind. I pick her up easily; her legs wrap around me to hold on, and I kiss her all the way back to my bed. Once my legs touch the edge, I sit down, still holding onto her, and let her knock me back so she can scramble on top of me. To my delight, she groans my name again, her legs now on either side of me, her head thrown back and she moves her hips back and forth.

I decide I like this position the best.

I can see every single inch of her. Her hands resting on my thighs as she leans back, and her throat exposed.

It doesn't take much to make her come, and afterward I help her shower again.

But this time, without getting a single drop of anything in her eye.

 

 

 

I meet Christian right after breakfast.

I'd eaten with Rylan, avoiding all his pressing questions and mostly offering up a bored 'right' every so often. He knew I wasn't listening, but he didn't seem to mind. There was also the fact that I had nothing to tell him. Judging by his suddenly uptight posture and the way he kept leaning in to talk to me, I knew Jason had told him that what I felt for Everly wasn't so simple anymore. He'd kicked my ankle while trying to force me to eat a muffin, all under the guise of being concerned that I wouldn't make it till lunch.

He'd offered to walk with me, until he found out I was meeting Christian.

"Fuck no. That dude stares way too long and way too hard." Rylan had stood up in a huff, throwing me a dirty look for daring to schedule such an errand. "He's always talking about adding just a little glitter here or taking something in. Or pleats. How many pleats something has. No one cares."

But Christian cared.

Despite the fact we just had new uniforms made, all leaders were now required to wear a jacket with a blue stripe on the arm. It was a silent but visible support of Erudite, and it wasn't optional. It wasn't Christian's favorite thing to make either. The disgusted look on his face told me this, as he pulled and pushed the fabric to make sure it fit properly.

Or just used it as an excuse to keep his hands on my bicep.

"It looks good. I'm not a fan of the stripe placement, but there's only so much I can do with these jackets. They're over designed as it is." His eyes are wide and bright. They scan over every inch of me, despite having just come in for this particular jacket, and he frowns at the tablet in my hand.

"It's fine. It's just for now." I point out, not really in the mood to debate the fabric choices of our factions. "I'll send Jason and Rylan down here later to get theirs. Did Max pick his up?"

"He did." Christian exaggerates the word did, and he crosses his scrawny arms over his chest. "Speaking of leaders, does Everly get one of these? I didn't make her one, but I can."

"No." I answer flatly, and he looks surprised. "She's fine. She has the one you just made. By the time she's officially a leader, they'll be on to something else."

"It is tacky how you're forced into supporting them." He steps away from me, and his boots clack on the flooring. "Or advertising for them. You know, maybe I'll make Everly one anyway. I have some free time later."

"Great." I answer, trying to muster up any enthusiasm for what he's saying. He could make Everly all the jackets he wanted, and it was unlikely she'd wear them even if I pointed out it was snowing outside. Even then, she'd probably ignore my warning and expect me to keep her warm.

Which I would.

But still.

"You know," Christian pauses, spinning on his heels to look at me. "I could make her whatever you want. I can make anything. I've noticed she's not as…she doesn't dress like the others here. There's nothing pretentious about what she buys, and she could buy whatever she wanted. She's a little bit…boring."

I blink at him.

"She also doesn't know what size she wears. Or what season we're in."

"No, she doesn't." I answer that one, because even I can't figure out why she seems to think she won't be cold. "I'll send her your way sometime. You can go nuts."

"Do you promise?" Christian is dead serious, staring me down with a vengeance. "Say it. Out loud."

"Yes." I dryly answer, and I adjust the sleeve of the jacket one more time. "The minute she gets some free time she'll come to see you."

"That would be amazing." Christian perks up considerably. I wait for him to say something else, but he flits back to his desk, and immediately opens up a large sketch book. "You know what, Eric? Enjoy your jacket. I'll see you later."

I watch him immediately getting to work, muttering to himself as he begins to draw…something, and I can only hope he's planning on making something that isn't hideous. I leave while he's busy; I walk out quickly, groaning as the beeping starts. It's an email alert on my tablet, and I scowl when I see it's from Jeanine. She's marked it urgent, but she's been marking everything urgent, just so I'll open it. I click on this one reluctantly, opening up another graph and a chart and several walls of text. I read it while I walk, until someone interrupts me. Loudly.

"Hey."

I jerk my head up in extreme annoyance. It wasn't that I found Jeanine's message fascinating, but I'd just gotten to the part where she outlined just how soon all the new serums would be made mandatory. Exasperation rushes over me, not just at her stupid plans, but at Lauren, standing before me with a pissed off look on her face as though I dare ignore her presence.

"Yes?" I snap at her, having no time for whatever it is she was about to bitch about.

"I heard you married Everly. Never thought you were one for cheating," Lauren throws out quickly, her tone dripping with condescendence. She's come to a halt right in front of me, and there's something behind the look on her face besides amusement. It looks a lot like disgust. Utter loathing. Suspicion. She stares me down, waiting for me to answer her, with her head cocked at a weird angle.

When I don't, she keeps going.

"I think there are other ways to make sure your initiate stayed in Dauntless. You know, like actually training her."

I can feel my eyes narrow and my lips press together. I know that beneath Lauren's rashly brave attempt to call me out, there's something brewing.

Bitter hot jealousy.

From experience, I now knew what a shitty feeling that was.

Lauren had once stood before me, stark naked, with the hope that I'd fuck her against the trainer's showers and it would turn into something else. She was no better than Ashley, assuming this was something I wanted, and better yet, that I had been missing out on. Ironically, from a distance, she resembled Everly. They shared the same slight frame, the long dark hair, though Everly's was impossibly darker. Lauren's skin was slightly more tanned, but her eyes weren't green, and she was missing the airy, easy way Everly existed.

I stare Lauren down, waiting for the inevitable flinch that I know is coming.

"You think I married her in case she failed her training? So she wouldn't have to leave Dauntless?" I speak slowly, letting the words sink in, one by one. Her reaction is equally slow, as she tries to downplay her lessening bravery.

"I don't see why else you would marry the little weirdo. You can't possible enjoy listening to her talk about butterflies all day." She shrugs, and I can feel my blood pressure increase. Second by second. My blood grows boiling hot, until I'd like nothing more than to smash Lauren's face into the wall.

You could say whatever you wanted about me. I was long used to the rumors and whispers about who I was and what I did here. I'd known Lauren for some time now, but Everly didn't. Everly had been here a hot minute and she had done nothing but work her ass off. She had earned everything she'd accomplished here, and Lauren had nothing on her.

Not to mention the fact that Everly was far from some weirdo from Amity. She was probably the most normal person to come from that faction, but Lauren wouldn't know that. Her words are simply a low, unintelligent insult from someone who didn't matter.

But I won't forget them.

Ever.

I step forward, until there is no space between Lauren and me. Despite the close proximity to her, it's nothing like the way I stand with Everly. I'm used to Everly looking up at me, her gaze coming from beneath long lashes, usually far sweeter than I deserve, right before she asks me something stupid. But this is not that. I'd love to beat the living shit out of Lauren, until her mouth is bleeding, and her eyes are unfocused. Luckily for her, I have better things to do. But I do lean in, and I make sure my tone is nasty enough for her to get the hint.

"Don't you ever, ever, talk about my wife like that again."

"She wasn't even a member of Dauntless. I had no idea that's what you were into." Lauren's words lose their casualness as she grasps for straws. "She wasn't…you married her so she'd stay."

I sneer at her, until she swallows.

"You might want to start paying more attention to what's going on, and less to what Everly and I are doing." I hiss the words at her, and just like I thought, she flinches. Lauren despised being left out of anything going on, and she often was. I look directly at her, and I smirk in delight. "And by the way, Lauren," I emphasize her name, and she struggles to hold my stare. "I married her because I wanted to. And now, she's got everything you ever wanted, doesn't she?"

She turns away immediately.

She throws me one dark and violent look over her shoulder, and she's gone without a single word. I watch her leave, her dark hair bouncing behind her and her hands clenched tightly.

She might look like Everly if you looked fast enough, but she'd never come close to her.

 

 

 

By the time the sun sets, Everly is less than half dressed. She lounges on my lap with her head on my chest and her feet balanced on my shins. She can't possibly be comfortable, but she lies there anyway, in nothing but her underwear and a tank top of mine.

My hands keep themselves busy, all with a mind of their own.

They skate down her sides, over her hips, to occasionally rest on her thighs.

We stay like this for a long time, her watching the documentary I'd started months ago, back when she first came here.

I pay even less attention this time.

 

 

 

The next day begins testing my patience before I've even left the apartment.

It's early when Everly hands me the packet of papers while we walk to the kitchen table. She's dressed seasonably inappropriately, but I can't complain. She yanks the shoulder of her shirt back up and into place, where it stays for approximately one second before it slides back down. I read the paper as she pulls her feet up beneath her, and I wearily take the seat beside her.

"Max and myself." I say the words unenthusiastically, because I know this won't go over well. If Max had been reluctant to let her train with just me, he wasn't going to be thrilled that my name was on here. There's no way he wouldn't think I put her up to it.

"What?" She looks up at me curiously, shrugging slightly.

"That's who you selected to shadow."

She shakes her head, and her hair falls into her eyes. "I picked Max and Jeremy picked you."

I ignore the flash of irritation at that little discovery. I wanted nothing less than to have someone shadow me during my day. "Why Max?"

"Why not?" Everly smiles, like she had made the most brilliant choice of all. I stare at her, wondering if she'd missed the way Max preferred to stay in his office, or rarely knew what was going on. As the oldest of the Leaders he had a somewhat given authority over us all, and while I could fight him on it, I didn't always win. But he wasn't exactly productive, and I can't see the value in shadowing him.

He was also just as heavily involved with Jeanine as I was. When Jeanine couldn't get to me, she went straight to him, though he often didn't have the answers she wanted. I had assumed Everly would have picked Tori, or even Jason or Rylan. Though I'm sure Max would have objected to those two, at least they could show her a few places in Dauntless I hadn't.

"I think it'll be fun." Everly shifts closer to me, and she sounds honestly happy with her choice.

She's in for a rude awakening.

I flip the page over, and I can feel my face settle into what can only be pure exasperation.

In bold letters is the announcement that Everly will visit Amity along with Jeremy. It's a part of the first agenda, under a section about inter-factional relations. She notices the scowl that's crept onto my face, and her own lips turn down.

"I know. But I can't exactly opt out of that meeting, Eric." She tells me.

"You could tell him you don't want to go."

My words come out barked at her, for a few reasons. Not too long ago, she'd promised me she'd never return there. She might have been distracted when she made that little deal, but I was going to hold her to it. Second, Amity was nothing but trouble. For such a boring faction full of rainbows and unicorn shit, they were bringing nothing but pure turmoil to my life. Not to mention the fact that Jeremy would be the one she'd be heading there with, and that meant minimal security on her part.

"But I do want to go."

And with that, she makes it even worse.

She looks at me with a pleading yet determined expression on her face, and I realize she's not about to back down.

"Everly." I say her name threateningly, but she barely blinks.

"Eric."

For a moment, we sit in silence, staring at each other, waiting for the other one to look away. She fidgets ever so slightly, her sudden fond memories of Amity probably filling her head, and I narrow my eyes.

"Just tell Max-"

"It has nothing to do with you. It's just a meeting with Johanna. I'll be back before sundown and we'll have dinner together and everything will be right with the world." She blurts out quickly, just as I was starting to kindly suggest she tell her new favorite mentor she'd like to do anything but go to Amity.

It's obvious she has other plans.

"Right." I snap and I sit up straight. I look over her, noticing the dark expression on her face as she crosses her arms over her chest. "It sounds like you've got it all figured out."

"Are you going to be mad every time I want to do something that you don't agree with?" She asks, and she looks insulted. "Do you think I'm cut out to be a leader here? You signed me up for this, so I'm assuming you think I can do it."

Her words come out in a rush, and they are unlike her.

They are sharp and frustrated.

I can see it behind her eyes, frustration bubbling up when I don't immediately give in to her, and it makes me clench my jaw down in anger.

Of course, I thought she was cut out to be a leader here. I had signed her up for this program because I had the utmost faith in her. I just didn't want her to wind up murdered in a field of corn because someone saw the opportunity to catch her alone.

But telling her that won't make this better.

So I resort to sneering at her, like she's suggested we move to Amity.

"Obviously."

"Then stop acting like I can't walk down the hallways without you." This time, her tone is completely different. It is sweet, soft and kind, and hopeful.

Insulting.

I don't want any of that.

I cross my arms over my chest and I bite down hard enough to taste blood. Maybe she's forgotten the map she stared at and just how far away Amity really is, or maybe, maybe she's trying to drive me insane enough that I'll break down and profess my undying love for her.

Either way, I still refuse.

Even with her pretty and pleading stare.

"Amity isn't exactly down the hallway." I point out slowly, sounding completely unbothered. "I'm just worried…"

I stop talking, snapping my mouth shut.

Immediately.

I hadn't meant to tell her that. Sharing my worry for her would do nothing except make me look weak. Like I was a controlling asshole who wouldn't let her go anywhere because I was the one who was afraid. It's not the case at all, but of course, she doesn't miss that last part. She sucks in a deep breath and smiles. Not widely or smugly. Not even sarcastically.

But the kind of smile that tells me she's on to me, and it won't be long before Everly Coulter has won this round.

And she does.

She reaches over to touch my hand and laces her fingers through mine. A second later she scoots closer, pressing herself right up against my side.

"Everly." I say her name sharply, but it dies on my lips. Her free hand slides up to touch my cheek, and she slowly works it around my jaw, to pull my head down to her.

"Thank you."

She whispers the words quietly, right before she presses her lips to mine. The feeling is overwhelming; her lips are soft and warm, but the intent behind them is something pure enough that I immediately give in. My hands take root in her hair, until I forget how angry I am that she will return to Amity, and I let myself lean into her, until I've somehow agreed that she'll accompany Jeremy to her former faction.

It doesn't mean I won't conveniently have a meeting at the exact same time there, or that I won't show up with backup. But it does ease my worry enough that I close my eyes, enjoying the way her fingers reach for the zipper of my jacket and she tugs it down easily.

 

 

 

The security footage is mind numbing.

Jason had dropped it off this evening. He knocked far too loudly, then came in the second I opened the door, rushing past me to stand triumphantly in the entryway. Once there, he spun around until he saw Everly, waved hello, then handed me a paper with a bunch of dates messily written on it.

He could have easily texted it to me, but he'd insisted that he hand deliver it, mostly so he could be nosey as fuck. I saw him eyeball Everly as she stood in the kitchen, and he was probably dying to know just what exactly she was getting to drink. Fortunately for all of us, he left just as quickly as he'd arrived. He explained he was meeting Meghan and she'd threatened him that if he was late again, she'd dump him for the guy who worked in Clyde's. I'd rolled my eyes, but Jason took it to heart, and now he was off to show up for his dinner thirty-seven minutes early.

I'd walked over to the couch, fully prepared for an exciting night of watching grainy footage.

Everly had decided to watch it with me. I pulled it up on my tablet, and together -with her on my lap once again, and her hands occasionally touching mine, we stared at hours of footage condensed into small sections. Everly stays quiet as the camera zooms in on a man in Amity trying to pry open a water grate and failing miserably. Not only is his act suspicious, but he looks left and right repeatedly as to not get caught.

We watch it from different angles. Different times. A color version. One in black and white. A version that is sideways and makes my eyes hurt.

We grow bored at the same time.

There's nothing entirely fascinating that can be used, nor does the tape tell me what I really need to know. I can order more patrols, demand Johanna let me station guards in her faction, and I can increase the security around those areas. But he could have been sent there by Jeanine to check out the water lines, and if I sent our soldiers there, I'd get an earful about how I was interrupting her plans. There was also the chance that he was simply some dumbfuck trying to figure out how to flood the faction.

I could get behind that guy.

I can tell Everly is bored, because she sighs, and for once, we have nothing pressing to do. She's already dressed for bed. She's recently showered, and her hair smells clean and sweet, much like the time I washed it for her. I occasionally press my nose into it, not because I want to sit here and give the impression that I can't not be close to her, but because she's on my lap. I wait until she sighs again before I reach for the book to the side of me, and I neatly slide it onto her lap. Her head immediately tilts down, and she picks it up gingerly.

"I found this one for you."

She looks at me quickly, then back at the book with a funny expression.

She's mistaken.

If she thinks my words are some sort of apology, she's wrong. I'll never apologize. At least not for wanting to keep her safe. Her being alive is important for several reasons, mostly all selfish, but all important. I don't want her to think I don't believe in what she can do, or that she can't do anything without me. So, when I saw the book on Rylan's desk, the bright cover sticking out from beneath piles of paper, I helped myself to it. He'd looked up at me slowly, and I very painfully promised I would buy him another copy.

He agreed, only because he assumed I was the one reading it.

"Where did you get it?" Everly asks, looking over her shoulder slightly. Her lips are turned up just enough that I can tell she's happy, and I'm both pleased and somewhat uncomfortable that I gave it to her in the first place. I didn't owe her anything, but I like that her face has lit up, and she's no longer stuck on the thought that I prefer her to stay in Dauntless.

"Around." I answer her offhandedly, like these books were a staple of the Dauntless Reading Program.

Everly leans back against me, holding the book up and turning to the first chapter. She smiles widely, and pretends she's reading the title.

"Chapter One: The day in which Eric Coulter learned it's okay to tell people you're worried about them."

I snort against her hair.

"You have no idea." I mutter.

She smiles again, but even with all this, I am no closer to telling her anything than I was before.

She'd have better luck hoping an owl would show up with a letter for her.

 

 

 

On Friday, she works at night.

As if I didn't have enough people breathing down my throat, Max -high off the lustrous allure of Everly choosing to shadow him, pointed out that she had to work at least one night shift. I myself had signed off on it when I signed her paperwork, and without my knowledge, she was scheduled to work it.

Which meant that I made dinner for myself, showered, and climbed into bed by eight. I sat there reading the news updates that came from Erudite and alternately checking my phone. The email was bland. It was a bullet point formatted report of news that wasn't anything I didn't know, but it was soothing to read and it took up a good chunk of my time. When I finished it, I scrolled through the rest of my emails, and I groaned when I saw I had one from Four.

I debate deleting the message without reading it.

Morbid curiosity wins out, and I click on it just as Everly walks past the bed. I hadn't even heard her come in, let alone the apartment door shut. She slips by silently, clearly on some mission because she barely says hello, so I continue reading.

Four's message makes me want to gouge my eyes out with a fork. It states he's received Everly's assigned dates to train with him, and he's pleased to work with her. His overly formal but sloppily formatted email makes my brain hurt. He goes on to say when he'll meet her, and I scowl at the thought of her being forced to work with him. I'm sure she'll hate it, when she realizes how much time she'll actually be spending in his presence.

The bed dips the tiniest bit, just as I glare at my tablet. I look up to find Everly right next to me, sitting on her knees, her eyes wide as she waits for me to notice her.

I'm immediately suspicious.

Her hair is down. It's long and wavy, tumbling over her shoulders and down her arms. Her eyes are wide and sweet, and she's dressed in a nightgown that is nothing more than a scrap of the finest, flimsiest, silkiest fabric that Christian could find. It's so low cut that if she sneezes, the whole thing will slide right off of her, and short enough that it's already at the middle of her thighs.

She wants something.

Something I'm not going to want to do. Or give. Or say. Or answer. Or show her.

I can tell by her posture; the way her head is cocked at me, her whole body primed toward me, and her lips smiling.

I decide I might as well get this over with, because it's doubtful she'll give up.

"How was your final shift with Kacie?" I ask briskly, and she watches me like a hawk, waiting for a sign of weakness. Unfortunately for her, I have none.

"It was fine. But I need to talk to you."

I knew it.

She scoots closer to me and it's with great reluctance that I nod my head. I'd almost rather email Four back than answer whatever it is she's about to ask. But then he'll respond again, thinking I want to talk to him, so perhaps talking with Everly is better.

"Alright."

I decide I'll humor her, but I'll make sure it's on my terms. I sit up straighter, tossing the tablet to the nightstand, and I wait. Patiently.

She immediately climbs on my lap. She straddles me like she's done this a million times, and I lean into the feeling of her. I have to say I'm pleased. This is about to go in a very different direction than what I was thinking.

"Tell me what your favorite color is?"

Or not.

I stare at her in confusion, and she nods encouragingly, but I'm thinking she can't be serious.

She wants to know what my favorite color is. Like we're five. Trading secrets in elementary school. I wait for her to tell me she's joking, but she looks extremely patient, like she'll wait all night for my answer if she has to. I decide why the fuck not, considering it's probably going to lead up to something I'll refuse to answer anyway, and this will placate her.

"Black." I answer quickly.

"What's your middle name?" She shifts forward. The fabric of her nightgown creeps up her legs, and she bites at her lip.

"I don't have one." I stare at her, letting her take her time.

"What's your favorite food?"

I can't help but smirk at this one. "I don't discriminate amongst my meals."

I can tell she thinks my answer is funny. She struggles not to smile, but she eventually returns to her serious gaze. "Are you Dauntless born?"

That catches me off guard. I look at her in surprise, mostly because I'd been sure she'd heard a few rumors about me. Maybe not. "Erudite."

It's her turn to look surprised, but she also looks like something has clicked in her mind. "Are your parents still there?"

I debate answering this one. While Daniel and Blythe did live in Erudite, I hadn't thought of them as my parents in a long time. I can't even remember a time when I did. I also have zero plans to ever see them again, despite being in Erudite quite frequently.

"Eric?"

I eventually nod, sighing because she'll now have a million other things she'll want to know about.

"Did you get Dauntless as your test result?"

I eye her warily. I'm reluctant to answer this one as well. But I shake my head no, and I focus not on her face, but on her shoulders. On the strap that's threatening to slide down her shoulder, revealing the pale skin that I'm very familiar with. I bite down on my lip, and I wonder how easy it would be to rip the fabric apart.

She's lovely.

Absolutely perfect.

Especially in this particular nightgown.

"Why don't you want me to go to Amity?"

I jerk my stare back up to her. She's looking at me earnestly, but I frown when she pushes herself even closer. If she thought she was going to trick me into telling her something she didn't know, she was wrong.

"We already went over this."

Everly purses her lips together and shakes her head slightly. "You said you were worried, but why? There's no danger in Amity."

"There's danger everywhere." I reach for her, my fingers skimming over her collarbone. She tries to stay still while I trace it back and forth, focusing on the way I can see her struggling to breathe normally. I watch her focus on something, a mental war raging on until she asks her next question.

"Did Ashley want to have a relationship with you?"

This question is very quiet. Everly's hands are in her lap, but she keeps her eyes on me.

I can't help but hate that she'd still wonder about her. "Yes."

"And you didn't?" She reaches for me now, continuing with her slow torture, as she pulls at the bottom of my shirt.

"No." I answer dully, and I watch her twist the fabric.

"What's the longest you've been in a relationship?"

Her questions feel like needles in my skin. At first, they weren't unpleasant, but she stabs them in a little deeper, demanding to know everything about me. I unexpectedly tense up. I had steeled myself so she wouldn't bother me, but this question is one I'm not about to get into. "Pass."

"Just answer the question." Everly insists, and I shake my head firmly. I push the strap of her nightgown down her shoulder, pleased with how it looks bare. I touch her shamelessly; part distraction, part want. My thumb arcs over her skin, and I take great pleasure in the fact that I'm the only one here who's touched her like this. She reacts just like I'd expect; she works hard to fight off a shiver, but I can see her move ever so slightly.

"Tell me."

She's insistent.

I look past her. I've told her more than I've ever told anyone and she still wants more. She stays still on my lap, waiting for me to answer, and I decide I've had enough of this little game. I cock my head to the side to look at her, and I smirk widely.

"What's your favorite color, Everly?" I ask her slowly, my voice low and her name drawn out, and she responds easily.

"Pink."

I smirk at her all over again. She's waiting for the next one, but I don't want to hear about her favorite food or what faction she grew up in. I know all that. If she wants to play dirty, then we'll play dirty.

"Were you in love with Landon?"

She freezes, but only for a second. I can see her surprise, but she very clearly shakes her head at me. It seems like it takes a long time for her to answer, but only because this is something I've been wondering.

"No. I wasn't."

Her words are funny. I can tell they are honest, but they seem sticky, like she feels guilty admitting them. If I had to solve this mystery, I'd assume Landon was madly in love with her, and she left him behind, and she hadn't felt good about it. From what else I'd heard, she shouldn't.

"Why didn't you stay in Amity?" I focus back on her shoulder, tracing an L and then an X through it. "Weren't you happy there?"

"Not quite. I wanted something more. Something more adventurous than taking care of crops and planting flowers."

Her answer makes me laugh. She's picked two of the most commonly used activities used as insults to the Amity faction, and she didn't even mean to. "Well you certainly found adventure here." I cheekily reference the other night together, the one where she was bent over the railing, out in the wide open, and she pretends to glare at me.

"Do you hate Amity?" She asks, and I notice her hands have worked their way up my shirt. She's holding onto me, her grip tight.

"The faction as a whole or the people in it?"

She debates this for a moment, her eyes flashing upward. "Both."

"I don't hate either. Amity serves its own purpose. And it does produce some worthwhile people." I move my hand from her shoulder and let it trail down her side. I find her hips, and I dig my fingers in there. "You wouldn't be Everly if you had grown up in another faction."

"Do you miss your parents?"

I shake my head quickly, refusing to elaborate. I had no desire to see either of them ever again. But I get the feeling Everly is another story. "Do you miss yours?"

She bites her lip, and I immediately grow annoyed. Neither had shown up to see her on Visiting Day, and from what she told me on the roof, they wouldn't have noticed if she'd vanished into thin air. But there's a look on her face that tells me that she hasn't written them off entirely. Not like I had.

"Sometimes I think of them. And I wish I could see them. But I don't want to live there. Or the way they live. I'm happy here."

She looks right at me when she speaks. She locks eyes with me, and the two us stay perfectly still as her words hover in the air.

Her words are very purposeful. Whether she meant them to be or not, they are weighty and heavy with the implication that I am all she has here. I'm not stupid. I knew what she did all day long, and who she hung out with. Because of me, she has exactly one friend. Two if you counted Tris, which I wouldn't count Tris for anything. Four if you counted Jason and Rylan. Other than that, it was her and I, together, against this world.

There is a large, gluttonous part of me that is absurdly happy to hear this. Had she wished to return home, or not been happy here, it would have been because of me. I normally wouldn't give two shits about how I affected someone else, but the thought of Everly being unhappy because of my actions didn't sit well with me. At this point I couldn't even be sure how I would have reacted.

In fact, I don't want to think about it.

I swallow, and it's hard to look at her. "I'm glad you're happy."

My words sound off. They sound like someone else is saying them, and I'm simply parroting them back like a line I've been fed.

"Are you happy?" Everly asks, and her fingers dig into my chest. I stare right at her, her big green eyes wide and clear, and it's like I've never seen her before.

"I am."

I immediately feel nauseous. The confession comes up easily, slipping past my teeth before I could simply nod or shake her off my lap or refuse to answer her.

"You're happy being with me?"

In a perfect world, Everly would have stopped thirteen questions ago. But she hasn't, and all I can do is stare at this creature on my lap, asking if I'm happy being with her. I'd never thought of us as being together, as in the juvenile manner of was she my girlfriend. I'd always pictured her as my equal: one who still needed my help so she'd live to see another day, but someone who made my day just a little bit better. Even with her never ending questions and her desire to make me feel things, she's the only one I want.

She's the only one I've ever wanted.

I suppose she deserves to know that. Especially now.

"Yes." I pause, and my grip tightens on her hips. "And you?"

She lets go of my shirt. She recoils slightly, but only so she can reach up and loop her hands around my neck. Her fingers touch the very bottom, and she runs her fingers over the nape. My eyes close at the feeling, the gentle stroking and the warmth of her, until she starts speaking.

"I am. I just want you to trust me that I can make some of my own decisions."

I blink my eyes wide open.

She's speaking very gently, fully prepared for me to lose my shit. She knows that I don't want her traipsing around another faction, especially Amity, but we both lose out on this one. If she doesn't go, she'll prove that I run her life, and know that I don't trust her enough to complete a simple, mandatory task. If she does go, I'll spend the day on edge, knowing she could be in danger at any moment.

Unfortunately, I have no way to relay this to her. She won't understand the power Jeanine has, or the threat of the factionless. She won't get why I don't think it's a great idea for her to go with Jeremy alone, because she'll relate it to me not believing in her.

I'll be no better than Landon.

After a long time, I sigh heavily and nod in her general direction.

"I do trust you. I just don't trust anyone else." She tightens her fingers on my neck, and I stare at her. "Are you asking me all this to try to figure out why I've made decisions for you?"

She nods her head.

My exasperation is swift, but I push it away. She's not sitting here demanding the world. She simply wants to do her job – a job I assigned her, and I'm going to have to let her do it. But there's a physical ache at the thought of her leaving Dauntless to return to Amity, especially without me. And I'll just have to suffer through it. She's also asking me to tell her what she means to me, no matter how she words it. Asking if I'm happy with her was brave, and I suppose she deserves some sort of answer.

Too bad I can't give it to her.

I lean into her, losing my view to her dark hair, until I graze her ear. I move to kiss her gently, and she immediately sinks into me and I find myself wanting to tell her…something. Anything. Whatever will ease her doubts, just as long as she returns to me and things go back to normal. I don't want her wandering around, wondering if I was okay with her living with me, or thinking that someday, I'd snap and she'd be gone.

But explaining that is impossible.

"I was supposed to train you, Everly. That's it. I wasn't supposed to find myself giving a shit about who you hung out with, or where you slept at night. I wasn't supposed to have you stay in my apartment, let alone in my bed."

I keep going, kissing my way down her neck, feeling every single breath she takes. I can feel her sigh when it feels particularly good- the spot where her neck and shoulder meet, and I linger against her skin.

"If I kept you close to me, I figured you'd eventually want to stay here on your own. I can't handle the thought of anyone else with you. Anyone else knowing you the way I do. Touching you, knowing what you sound like beneath them…" I stop, lifting my head up to look at her. "I know what you're doing, Everly."

She blinks her long eye lashes at me and her cheeks darken.

"I know what you want." I nudge her nose with mine, and I can feel the hope radiating off her. It's almost vibrant, how badly she wants me to confess every single thing to her. "You want to hear me say it. You want me to tell you how much I miss you, how much I think about you all day long, how I can't wait until I can be close to you."

I press my lips to hers gently. Hers are soft, lusher than anyone I've kissed before, which was basically no one. It only proves my thoughts that it's always been her, and only her.

"How much I care about you." I mumble the words against her mouth, and one of my hands snakes up and into her hair. I grab a fistful, drawing her closer as my fingers knot in the waviest part. "You want it all. You want me to confess everything to you." I draw back from her, and she swallows heavily. "Don't you?"

My room suddenly seems like the temperature has risen by twenty degrees. I stare at Everly, watching her chew on her lip as she contemplates what I've said, my mocking everything she's wanted to know because I couldn't bring myself to say it.

Even though I just did.

"Don't you?" Everly asks, and I can only stare in response. I could tell her, sure. I could blurt out what's been bothering me, that despite her sweet little pajamas, or her thousands of questions as she tries to get to know me, that the thought of her eventually walking away is driving me insane. That while her actions only show that she's not going anywhere, I still can't bring myself to tell her anything more.

It feels an awful lot like fear, but I refuse to believe it could be.

So I do the only thing I can. I yank her right up against me, and I kiss her roughly. Not sweet or soft, but violently, like I could drown myself in her and thank her when my heart stopped beating. I kiss her until I can't take it any longer, but neither can she. She looks at me with a dark and sweet expression as I fumble with the silky fabric. She smiles when I pull the nightgown off over her head, breaking apart to watch it slide over her dark hair and onto my floor, and I pull her right back against me.

I've told her enough, and if she listened hard enough, Everly Coulter would have gotten all of her answers.


	21. Almost, but not quite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Bamberlee for editing this chapter! 
> 
> Have a good weekend everyone :) Thank you for all your kind words! I'm seriously so happy people are enjoying Eric's version!

And just like that, life becomes normal again.

Jeanine's demands increase, despite the fact that since training Everly, I have not brought a single Divergent before her. I never made it to Candor or Amity, and she knows this. I can feel the pulsing disdain through the words of her email, as she tells me how disappointed she is in me.

That should make two of us.

I look up from my phone and Jeanine's list of ways to rectify this little situation, only to see Everly standing right in front of me. She's dressed for her day with Max. I warned her if she thought my apartment was cold, she was in for a rude awakening when she had to spend longer than half an hour in Max's office. He liked it freezing, and it was only when he got cold enough to throw on his jacket, was he somewhat satisfied.

I gave her an hour, tops.

She reaches for me, but Jeanine's email is all I can see. I try to pretend Jeanine won't come down here soon, or worse, have Max and I come to her. We could always refuse; I might be able to pull it off but he wouldn't. He wouldn't dare cross her if it meant his cushy life was on the line. I'm sure he'd be reluctant but quick to blame me, and it wasn't something I was interested in dealing with. He may have followed my lead in not caving to her every demand, but I had a reason.

He did not.

"I guess I'll see you tonight." Everly stands right before me, her head barely coming up to my chest. I nod wordlessly, unenthused for this day.

I lean in to kiss her goodbye, and this little action has now become routine every time she leaves. Today she smells overwhelmingly like flowers, and I'm only reminded how many of them I'd trampled over in Amity.

"I'll see you for lunch." I mutter my goodbye, but my fingers are still in her hair, wishing she wasn't about to spend the day with Max. I have plenty of work to keep me busy, in fact- I wouldn't even be here for most of the day, but there's an unfairness in this situation. She'd already worked at night, and now she was spending the day probably doing nothing but proofreading his emails and shivering.

"You better not be late." Everly grins, her terrible sort of joke making me smirk. She's learned that I hate being late for anything, and if I am -she's the cause of it. I smile when she rises up on her toes to kiss me one more time, and my fingers tighten on the back of her head.

Eight hours.

Eight hours until Max sends her home and she regrets having selected him.

"I'll see you soon." I slowly work my fingers out of her hair, and she watches me with a smile on her face. She was still thinking she'd won, right up to when she'd sighed my name more than a few times last night. She had been satisfied, so thrilled that I was happy to exist with her, that I felt stupid for thinking I wanted more. Logically, I shouldn't be hung up on her for any particular reason. I'd married her, acknowledged my feelings, and buried them so I never had to deal with them again. She'd made it clear how she felt: she was happy with me, but content with the way things were. And that was fine. Really. I could respect her for this.

But each moment with her left me thinking that this being a permanent situation wasn't so bad, and maybe if she knew I felt more for her than I let on, she'd be inclined to feel the same way. A life together with her wasn't awful, nor was it impossible.

I vaguely wonder if I could trick her into feeling the same way.

There had to be a subtle way for me to make her believe it was her idea, and I was just going along with it. This way, I'd spare my own feelings, not needing to reveal anything of myself, and she'd be happy for a long time.

Just like she's happy right now.

I give her one final look before I walk away from her with my shoulders squared. I've decided that today, I'll spend less time in my head. Less time trying to dissect what I had with Everly, and more time doing my job. I could accept that she didn't want a child or anything of the sort with me and I could accept that she wanted to know what my favorite color was.

I couldn't accept the thought that someday she'd grow tired of not knowing things about me. It was hard enough to answer her trivial little questions, and she was leading up to some big ones. There was no doubt she'd eventually ask again if I loved her? Could I ever love her? She'd bat her big eyes at me, my answer a deciding factor in whether she hung around or not, and I'd be unable to answer her just like every time before.

Eventually, the more that I wanted wouldn't be appealing to her by then.

I catch her stare as I turn, waiting for the elevator to arrive. She's watching me, like she can't bear to turn away just yet. Like she won't be satisfied until she knows I'm on the elevator.

Like this could be more.

I smile.

I hadn't planned on it, and really, it's only half a smile. The sight of her is pretty; she looks nice standing there, her hair ruffled from my hands in it, and her boots halfway laced up and wrapped around the ankles. All around her, the office slowly comes to life. Linda arrives with her hands full of papers and coffees, Harrison stumbles in looking like he's been out all night, and Jason wanders by, his hands full of a load of muffins he clearly stole from the mess hall.

I watch Everly stand perfectly still, even as I step into the elevators and jab at the button for the ground floor. The doors close slowly, and Everly disappears from my sight.

I stare at the dull metal, and I decide that I'll make a detour today.

 

 

Max's text comes earlier than I'd expected, right before he normally eats lunch. He announces he's keeping Everly with him all day, maybe even a few extra hours so he can bang this out all at once, which is fine. Rylan and I left an hour ago, and I won't be back in time to eat lunch with her. He'd keep her busy until we returned, but there was no way of knowing how long this would take.

Rylan and I walk through Candor briskly, and I read his second message while I step over the curb of a crumbling street corner.

"This place needs some work." Rylan kicks aside a broken sign, one that's been here forever. It meant nothing now, but at some point, it had. "What's Jack using all of his budget on? His suits?"

"We'll find out today." I answer, and I head toward the heavy doors of his office building. "You ready?"

"Uh yeah. Who's not ready to sit and listen to Jack pontificate for hours?" Rylan rolls his eyes as I kindly hold the door open for him. "I personally love listening to him talk about how much smarter than us he is."

I roll my eyes at him as well. We'd only come to talk with him about a security breach of his emails, but there is little doubt he'd point out this never would have happened on his watch. He had little to do with the technology used between the factions, but he liked to pretend he did. He only knew about it because we told him. His emails had started coming at all hours of the night, and when he couldn't account for them, we knew something was up.

And while Candor liked to talk, he wouldn't want their secrets spilled out to every other faction.

"What'd Max want?" Rylan nosily asks, and I glare at him for reading over my shoulder.

"Nothing. He's working with Everly today and I'm sure he's already out of stuff for her to do. He wanted to know what she likes to eat for lunch."

I shove my phone in my pocket. I didn't respond to Max's message, and I can no longer pretend it doesn't bother me. He'd asked me a few questions, and short of telling him I didn't know everything about her, I'd told him she'd eat whatever.

Because despite having filled out our marriage license, I have no idea if she has a middle name, and this nags at me for the next hour.

 

 

We eat lunch with Jack.

Our meeting went surprisingly quick. He seemed to understand that the security software we wanted to install came from Erudite and not Dauntless, and he wasn't as obnoxious about the entire thing as I'd expected. He agreed to a new update without much argument, and just when I thought we were in the clear, he asked us to join him for lunch.

Rylan had readily agreed.

I had not, but I went along because Rylan and I had driven together and I felt marginally bad about ditching him to drive back.

Marginally.

I considered it, but in the end, I followed them down to a large building on the corner, through glass doors, and right into a section of elegantly decorated tables.

"This is…nice. How long have you had a restaurant? This reminds me of Erudite." Rylan looks around furiously, trying to notice every single detail he can.

This place is new; it's busy with people all admiring the sleek, wide open dining space and it reeks of them trying to one up Erudite. Out of all the factions, both Erudite and Candor deemed themselves to be the classiest. It was a running joke in our meetings; our soldiers were often happy to have dinner, they didn't care if it was served on glass plates by fancy waitstaff or in a bucket. But here, in this large room with obnoxiously high ceilings, and its white marble everything, I know exactly where his budget went.

We're sitting in it.

So his faction could enjoy their fine dining.

"Thank you so much. Gentlemen, this is Leslie. She'll be taking our orders today." Jack politely introduces us to a short, blonde haired woman who looks so enthusiastic you'd think she'd downed nothing but espresso this morning. Her black shirt and pants are well tailored, and she poses at the end of our table with what looks like a small tablet in her hands.

"Hello and welcome to Candor! We are SO THRILLED to have you visiting. What brings you here today? Have you read the menu yet? Can I get you a drink? Water? Tea? Soda? We don't have any beers on tap, because you know, Amity isn't quite budging on their deal with uh…you guys, but we do have some fine liquors if you'd like. We also have coffee, non-alcoholic smoothies, and a juice bar."

She speaks in a high voice, so rapidly I can only stare at her. She almost makes me miss the bitchy waitress we normally have in Clyde's.

"Uh…I'll…I'll have some water." Rylan answers, and he grins in amusement at her.

"And for you?" She chirps, and Jack smiles widely.

"Eric and I will have coffee." He answers, and I don't bother to add anything to the order. I'd planned on eating when I returned, but at the very least I could have a drink if it meant maintaining my normal, polite façade of indifference.

"Great, okay one water, two coffees. Make sure you look over the menu. I'll be back to take your order. In the meantime, if you need anything, Ben can also help you. He's over there –" she pauses to point vaguely in the distance at a man who's taking the order of another table. "Or Gerry. He's over there. He's not quite as versed on the menu, but he'll do. Otherwise, I'll be right back."

I can only stare at her.

She leaves in a whirlwind, and Jack smiles apologetically.

"She's very…enthused about her position here. We opened up a few months ago. So far, it's been very productive. We found it's a great space for people to get together and talk, and lots of great ideas have come from sitting at this very table. We'd be open to having others from different factions join us, but you know how that is."

"It's nice…really nice." Rylan agrees, and he opens a menu with what appears to have everything in the world on it. "You uh, wow you guys really have a lot of different food on here."

Jack says something in response, but I miss it. My phone beeps again, and this time, Max asks me what he should have Everly do for lunch if she doesn't want to eat with him. I pick up on the stressed out vibe that he doesn't quite know what to do with her, and his anxiety over whether or not she'll sit at his table for lunch is highly entertaining.

I type back whatever, wanting nothing more than to point out it was his idea to have her work with other people, and I resist slamming my phone down on the table.

"Right, Eric?" I turn to Rylan, and his eyes are glued to me. "Erudite has a lot of places like this. Dauntless only has a few."

"Our budget doesn't exactly allow for something like this. You know, with all the members we have to feed, I don't think it would work out." I point out, and I get the feeling Rylan is as impressed as Jack was hoping he'd be.

I'm not.

Erudite has plenty of places like this to eat. If you wanted to sit at a stiffly formal dinner, while the wait staff and everyone around you judged you, it was the place to go. The food was pretentious, only the best for their members because they believed they were superior to others with their high intellect and genius mentality, and the rest of the factions were subpar. No one in Dauntless gave a shit. But Candor, they clearly cared, and that's why I was now sitting here, at a table with a black tablecloth and black napkins, impatiently watching Leslie set down my coffee.

"I thought this might be a chance to catch up. Informally, of course." Jack smiles again, polite as ever. He has perfect posture as he sips his coffee, pretending that Rylan and I fit in here. Despite our uniforms being black, we have nothing in common with this place.

Rylan gives me a funny look. He's subtle about it, as Leslie hands him a plate of fancy looking bread. She announces she'll be back, and she's gone before anyone can even answer her.

"Sounds…great." I toy with the menu, wondering what the fuck he plans to ask us. He and I knew each other somewhat, but Rylan didn't know him quite as well. But the three of us weren't exactly friends, and short of political politeness, I didn't have much to say to him.

But he's not quite as interested in Rylan. He's focused on me, particularly, my hand.

"How's your wife, Eric? It was nice to officially meet her."

I knew it.

I have to force myself to only glare slightly, keeping my expression as neutral as possible as I pick up the heavy steak knife beside me and stab it into the loaf of bread Rylan has passed me.

"She's fine."

"Fine?" Jack repeats, and across from me, Rylan nods.

"He always says that." Rylan announces, buttering the piece of bread he'd cut with great enthusiasm. "It's his favorite word."

"She is fine. There's nothing to tell. She's working with Max today and…" I pause, shrugging my shoulders as though Everly had been in Dauntless for years and Jack was stupid for asking about her. "How's your…"

I realize I have no clue if he's married.

I don't really care, either.

"I would have loved to really get to talk to her. I saw her at the Leadership Dinner. You two are very close." Jack stares right at me. "Did she come to terms with your plans for a family? Good for you for thinking of ways to keep our factions thriving and populated."

"What?" Rylan drops his knife, and it hits his plate so loudly the entire restaurant falls silent. "Sorry." He then looks at me with a dark look of betrayal and disgust. "You didn't tell me that."

He hisses the last part.

I sit back in my chair, and I decide I will leave at any time now.

Rylan can walk back.

"It was a misunderstanding." I take a long drink of my coffee, hoping it'll burn my vocal cords right off so I can dip out of here. "She's…very busy. She's training now, but I'm sure you'll see her again, soon. In fact, I believe she's scheduled to visit here with our other Leader in Training."

"She's training to become a Leader. How ambitious. She's so…young."

And there it is.

Another person, with another opinion, on _my_ wife.

"Everly is really good at what she does." Rylan interrupts defensively, and he waves his bread at Jack. "She ranked first. That's a big accomplishment for being the only female in the class. Eric trained her himself."

"She was the only female to choose Dauntless during your initiation?" Jack continues his investigation, stopping only to order from Leslie when she appears out of nowhere. I listen to Rylan order chicken fingers, even when Leslie protests that they're on the kid's menu. I notice there's not a single child in here. But she gives in and turns to me. I order something quickly, mostly because Rylan kicks my knee and shoots me a dirty look. "I'm sure everyone was very interested in her as the only female."

"She did rank first. She has no problem tackling whatever she puts her mind to." I answer sharply. "Everyone loves to know what she's doing around Dauntless. Seems it's the same way in the other factions now."

"Excuse my curiosity." Jack apologizes, and there's a hint of sincerity in there. Just a hint. "I know you don't like people prying into your private life. I just found her to be…interesting. She walked right into your office like she owned the place."

"She thinks she does."

I mutter the words to myself as a joke, but both Rylan and Jack can't hide their grins.

"She's cool." Rylan leans back in his chair, tilting it so he can balance. "Hey, oh man. Eric, look. We went to school with that guy!"

"Who?" I look over mostly to stop talking about Everly, but I see no one who I'd know.

Rylan points far across the room, past the large glossy set of stairs, to an upper mezzanine section. He looks thrilled to see someone in black, just like everyone else, milling around while they wait for a table. "I think his name is Calvin. I'm going to go say hi. I always wondered what happened to him. He threw up when we dissected frogs."

He doesn't wait for me to answer. He slams his chair down as he bounces over, leaving Jack and I sitting at the table alone. Jack watches him for a second before he picks up his coffee cup and raises it at me.

"I'd like to talk to you about something else." He sets it down, not having taken a single sip. "And I think this is something you and I can come to an agreement on."

"What?" I don't mean to sound rude, but I'm immediately suspicious. Especially when he leans toward me, so no one else can hear him.

"Tell me why you were so hesitant to give your wife the new serums?"

I blink in surprise, and he shakes his head.

"Don't try to lie, either. I know there are side effects. I also find the sudden, persistent desire to have all the factions utilizing this new wave of serums highly suspicious. When I asked you about Everly taking it, you didn't look thrilled. In fact, you looked like you didn't want to talk about it."

"I don't." I answer, and I work hard not to stare nastily. "Everyone wants to know about my wife. I didn't see why you'd even ask. The serums are a-"

"They're a way to control us." Jack points out, and he looks right at me. "I'm not stupid, Eric. I know you have an in with Jeanine. I find her absence everywhere quite suspicious, and I find her newest theories about why we need them to be groundless."

"You already use a serum." I point out, but he shakes his head.

"That's different. It's tried and true. I know what happens when it's injected. I know nothing about these new serums, and I'm being told to accept her words on blind faith? To risk the wellbeing of my faction?"

"You want the lab studies on them?" I ask, and I lean away from him. "What do you want me to tell you? Not to use them?"

"It's not quite that simple." Jack answers sharply, and he cocks his head at me. "I want to make a deal with you, and I don't think it's one you'll refuse."

I stare at him, but I don't get up. Part of me is interested, and the other part is ready to storm out of here.

"I don't trust Jeanine and I don't trust you, either. But I trust your wife. Your wife who you didn't want to give this serum to. I hear things, Eric. Lots of things. And I know something is brewing behind the scenes and it isn't good."

I can see Rylan enthusiastically greeting Calvin, and he points over at me.

"When it happens, whatever is beginning, when you catch wind of it, I want you to tell me. I want you to tell me that I shouldn't give my people this serum, because you know what it's for. I want you to tell me the second you can see things are about to go bad, because they will. I want you to tell me that this security update will go into effect and you can work around it, so we can stay in communication without being monitored."

"What's in it for me?" I answer flatly, because he's right. Every single fucking thing he's been debating about, he's right. And I can't deny that, not right now. But I can try. "You can believe whatever you hear if that's how you want to run your faction. But-"

"I'll back you." Jack answers slowly and his fingers curl neatly around his cup. I swallow down another sip of my own, stalling to process what he's saying. "When this empire Jeanine has built begins to crumble, you'll be at the root of it. You'll either take her out or fall with her when she turns against you."

"How could you possibly know that?" I ask, ignoring Rylan trying to wave me over.

"Tell me, Eric. How much do you care for Everly?"

I immediately tense up, and he smiles. Knowingly.

"Let me tell you what I saw. At the Leadership Dinner last year, you spent half the time with Jeanine, and half the time with some blonde girl. You had little interest in anything or anyone else. Your own faction. Your friends. Those who knew you. You were drunk on your power, knowing you had control over most in the room. This year, you spent the entire time with Everly. I watched you. Your hands on her. Your eyes on her. It was obvious that she'd won you over, and the look on your face was interesting. Like you'd kill for her, right there, if she asked you to." He pauses, and I press my lips together as my pulse increases. "I'm not the only one who saw that. As controlled as you are, you slipped up. You've lost interest in what Jeanine wants, and you barely acknowledged her."

"And?"

I bark at him, and over his head, Rylan motions again, nearly smacking Calvin in the face.

"Jeanine doesn't like that, does she? And I'll bet she wouldn't like it if she heard you didn't want your wife to have that serum, now would she? I'd also bet you weren't giving her what a normal, regular any old member of Dauntless would get, were you?" Jack insists.

"No." I blurt the word out without thinking, and I try to get one step ahead of him. "Why do you care? What are you getting at? So I don't want her to be under the serums. That has nothing to do with me keeping you updated on what Jeanine wants to do."

I'm saying too much, but Jack nods slowly.

"It does. Because you can't play both sides for much longer. Something has to give. When Jeanine slips up, you'll be the first to tell me. As the Candor faction, we'll back you. We'll do whatever it is that we can to help. I can see the cracks in this allegiance you once had to her, and I know what she'll go for first. I refuse to watch my faction burn to the ground with Dauntless."

I clench my jaw down. I'm being played. Big time. But there's nothing I can do about it because he's not wrong.

"Your wife….well, she's your background on your computer. I found it interesting that you, of all people, would leave such sentimental proof of what you feel for her. But you did, and it's out there. I'm not the only one who knows it. You can't possibly disagree that it would be a shame for such a pretty girl to be subject to the cruelty of her husband handing her over when Jeanine goes after her, now wouldn't it?"

"You're making huge assumptions here." I snarl. "You have no proof of any of that."

Jack is undeterred.

"Like I said before, I hear things. Words rise up when actions haven't. I know there's about to be huge issues when it comes to forcing members to be injected with things they don't want to be injected with. You're hesitating on your own wife, and that tells me I won't be giving it out here. But there's more to this. The serums aren't your only hesitation. I want to be ahead of the inevitable collapse. But that only happens if you tell me. If you agree to help me, then I agree to help you."

The room feels very still. Like all the noise has stopped, and the entire restaurant is waiting for my response. In reality, not a single one of them are looking in my direction.

"You want an alliance?" I ask, and my voice sounds unlike me. "You want me to-"

"You call it whatever you want. I just want the facts, and you'll give them to me. In exchange, we publicly support you when the shit hits the fan. No questions asked."

I stare directly at him as he nods in encouragement, his dark eyes flashing because he knows he's right.

I watch Rylan say goodbye to his friend and turn, preparing to head back to our table.

Next to me, Leslie sets down my lunch, chirpily telling me to be careful, the plate is hot. I have no idea what I ordered.

"Fine. You've got a deal." I swallow down the words, letting them sink as I realize this could easily blow up in my face. There's a chance Jack won't hold up his end of the bargain, but I have no choice right now. If I don't agree to this, he could easily point Jeanine in Everly's direction.

The glint in his eye tells me he's not above that, either.

"Good." Jack smiles, and he takes a long sip of his coffee. "I knew you'd tell me what was going on. How could you not?"

I suddenly feel nauseous, a wave of seasick dizziness sweeping over me, as I stare at the empty coffee cup in front of me.

Fuck.

 

"What was he talking to you about?" Rylan asks, looking away from the road and over at me. I'd never not driven before, so he was immediately thrown off when I told him to drive. Despite my best efforts to pretend I was fine, I'd barely touched my lunch and drank enough water that it almost made me sick.

"He wanted to form an alliance. He thinks something's going to happen with Jeanine." I answer him dully, the slow burn of a headache forming. "He wants me to keep him updated on what happens. Everything. Anything out of the ordinary. So that way, he'll be prepared. He thinks Jeanine is plotting something and it'll be her downfall. And if I help him, then in return he'll support Dauntless however he can. If I didn't agree, then I run the risk that he uses Everly against me."

"Whoa." Rylan answers, and turns sharply. "That's uh, not what I was expecting you to say. Do you think it'll really happen? That'll you ever need an alliance with him? Is it worth it?"

I stare at the sky out the window, the dark clouds hanging overhead and threatening to snow. They are dark and ominous, and oh so fitting.

I nod my head, and Rylan strangely doesn't ask any more questions.

He knows Jack is right.

Eventually, Jeanine's plans _will_ blow up in her face, and I'll either be right there with her, or the one pulling the trigger.

 

 

Keeping with my promise to myself to stop overthinking about Everly and Jeanine, I focus on other things. I halfheartedly agree to let Rylan stop at the market, and once there, I regret it immediately. The area is unusually busy; people are swarming around, preparing for the next storm, and they spill out of every aisle. There's a franticness slicing through the air. If the storm is bad, there will be no market for a while, so people are trying to get rid of whatever they can before they head home.

Despite having just eaten lunch not too long ago, Rylan buys a hotdog as we wander through different tables and shops. For the most part, we walk around wordlessly, cutting in between the crowds. Occasionally, he stops to point something out, and I keep going. Just a few feet ahead of him, so I don't lose him in the crowd. But this last time, I notice he's stuck looking at a shirt, so I turn the corner and keep walking.

Until I find Stephan.

I need absolutely nothing from him.

But I walk over there anyway, my eyes surveilling what he has left. It's not much. Piles of odds and ends, a few larger pieces of furniture that are too expensive for most, and some odd-looking statues. I'm more interested in the large display case he's brought, and I spend far too long examining what's in it.

"You uh, you need a ring?" Stephan appears out of nowhere. He is dressed warmly, too many coats piled on and a pair of worn gloves. He steps around me, wiping off the dirty case and grinning. "Are you thinking of proposing?"

"I'm married."

The words are easy as they slip out of my mouth, and I stare at the array of both glittery and dull jewelry. I can't picture any of it on Everly. I'm quick to pick most of it apart, but my own memory of what people wore as wedding rings is skewed. Daniel wore an expensive but plain wedding band to announce his sham of a marriage. Blythe wore something gaudy and loud, the diamonds big enough to make it slide around on her skeletal finger as she pretended her life was nothing but pristine perfection.

"Oh."

It might be my imagination, but Stephan sounds disappointed.

I look over at him, and I realize my jaw is clenched so tightly it hurts.

"Can I show you something?" Stephan asks, and he ignores my grimace when he nudges me out of the way. "I think you'll like it."

He talks to me for the next fifteen minutes, until Rylan shows up and shoves what appears to be a large mess of flowers at me.

"What the fuck?" I ask, and he grins in an obnoxious manner.

"Give them to Everly. She'll like them. I got Christina yellow ones."

"They're hideous." I point out, but he doesn't care. He shoves them at me again, until Stephan snickers when I finally take them. "I'm not giving her this. I'm throwing them away."

"I bought them from some girls from Amity. It was 'buy one get one free' because it's about to snow. I think she'd love them. They're pink, after all."

Rylan can't hide his laugh as I struggle to do something with them. I want to throw them at his head, but I refrain for the sake of my own image. I glance down at them with a scowl and I shake my head. They are nothing I'd ever pick out, nor anything I'd ever give to Everly. "Why? Why does she need these? What is she going to do with them?"

Rylan smiles widely, and Stephan joins him. I feel betrayed as they both exchange a weighty glance, one that says they think I'm stupid for missing the point they refuse to tell me. I can't fathom what on Earth Everly would do with them. Stick them on our counter and sit and watch them die?

"Eric…" Rylan answers slowly, and he looks like he's biting back some witty commentary that'll make me want to shove them down his throat.

"Fine. You know what, I'll take them. In fact, I'll go buy more. I'll make sure Everly has more flowers than Christina. And I'll tell her to tell Christina, too." I snap at him, feeling angrier than ever as I storm away from Stephan's area.

"See you soon, Eric!"

Stephan calls out loudly, and I ignore him. I find the stupid flower table, from the stupidest faction around, and I roughly grab two more of the bunches of pink flowers. Everly's friends recognize me immediately; they stare with wide eyes, and I slam down my card on the table with a grimace.

"Are those for…" One of them starts, but I can't tell them apart. They are both dressed like morons, and one has braided pigtails that make her look like she's five. "You know what, you can just take them. They were always her favorite."

"Great." I exclaim with mock enthusiasm, and I grab my card back. "Have a nice life."

I stalk away before anyone can recognize me carrying them out of the market.

Rylan eventually finds me, and he drives us back, the flowers sitting in the middle of our dark truck.

 

It takes her two hundred years to notice them.

I stare at her, my gaze glued to her every move, and she looks everywhere but at the flowers. Rylan had tried hard not to laugh the whole ride home, and I'd made him park in back. I didn't want anyone to see me carrying them in, and I'd walked with them pointing down, as fast as I could.

But she barely notices.

She's mostly staring at me, her big eyes taking in my sulking posture, until they fall to the table next to me. I grow irritable when her face lights up in delight, and I decide I will tell Rylan she hated them when he asks.

Because he would.

"Were they all out of black flowers?" Everly teases. My arm has snaked around her back, pulling her against me, and she kisses me once. Far too quickly for my liking. I move to pick her up, setting her atop the table, right by her stupid flowers.

"Stop talking."

It's all I say before I kiss her, her lips smiling against my own as I move to undo the zipper on her hoodie. She doesn't protest at all. Not even when I pick her up and carry her to my bedroom, nearly knocking the offensive pink flowers off the table.

 

 

On Thursday, Max fails spectacularly as a human being and Leader when Everly cracks her head open.

Max's phone call comes right in the middle of my blistering reply to someone in Candor that I'd call Jack when I had the time, and I answer him just as irritably. I'm only halfway listening, slowly typing out the letters F, U, C, K, O, F, F when I hear him ask me to meet him in the infirmary.

"What?"

I bark at the phone, so loud that I can hear Linda yelp.

"What did you say?" I snarl as I take off out of my office. I stalk past a frazzled Linda, and she scampers out of my way. "Did you say she hit her head?"

It takes everything in me not to slam my fist into the wall, simply at his lack of attention to her. I knew that today they were taking a tour of Dauntless, one I had not given her. She'd have no clue where to go or what these levels were like. Where she and I had gone was relatively safe unless you were a moron. Where he was taking them was different; the deepest, and most intricate parts of our faction, where normal members didn't typically cross.

Not to mention the fact that the storm had hit with enough force that our backup generators were now wheezing along. Heat in all the hallways was cut off. Because the Earth was frozen, so was our faction. Icicles had formed in the coldest and darkest parts, and the stairs were a viable hazard. Some sections had open roofing, or poorly patched areas that had caved beneath the pressure of the heavy snowfall. This left some of walkways frozen with black ice, nearly impossible to walk on.

I hadn't really thought about her getting hurt on this tour, but I should have.

I'd also forgotten she was scheduled to accompany him today. I'd woken up to her on top of me, grumpily untangling her arms from over me, and sulkily pushing the covers back. I told her I'd taken the day off, and she'd looked at me with a miserable expression I'd never seen before. I wanted to keep her home, to have her stay with me, curling back beneath the sheets and against my chest, but she couldn't. She and I both knew it. Against my better judgement, I'd watched her leave, and wound up heading into my own office to kill a few hours.

Turns out now, the only thing I'd be killing was Max.

 

 

 

I arrive at the infirmary much later than I'd like. Molly doesn't bother to tell me to wait, because she knows I won't. I walk past her, my hands clenched into fists as I scan the area for Everly. I find her after a second, seated atop a bed, with Jeremy right next to her. Even from a distance, he looks nervous. He shifts his weight from side to side, and eventually leans away so Arlene can work. He awkwardly grimaces as Arlene pulls out a needle, and when he looks up, he and I lock eyes.

I see red.

Nothing but red.

"You okay, Everly?" I can see him saying something to her, his voice frantic as if he can soothe this just by talking, and I wonder if this is his fault. I keep my gaze fixed on him, my gut telling me something is not right here. Maybe it wasn't Max, the liar who wasn't even here, but Jeremy's fault she had gotten hurt. Maybe he shoved her right into the wall or down the stairs in an attempt to make himself the only candidate for Leadership. Whatever the case may be, I telepathically tell him to get the fuck away from my wife because I am fully ready to end his life and I will.

He gets the hint.

He visibly cringes when he notices I'm walking toward him. He immediately scoots away from Everly, sliding down off the table and landing loudly.

"What happened?!" I bark at all of them. From what I can see, Everly is fine. Arlene is stitching something in her hair, but she's alive and breathing. She looks more embarrassed than anything, but she keeps perfectly still. Arlene doesn't answer me either, probably because I hinted that she should never speak to me again, but she keeps working, throwing me one impatient look out of the corner of her eye.

The only one who speaks is Jeremy, and he sounds ill. "I uh, I didn't see." He holds his hands up in surrender and shakes his head. "Max and I were ahead of her. We were going up the stairs and we heard…"

He pauses, not wanting to tell me anything that'll piss me off.

Too late.

I sneer at him, at his panic, and I take a step closer, wishing Arlene would move the fuck out of the way. My defensiveness is working overtime. The sight of Everly injured is doing something odd to my stomach, making it clench up in a painful manner. She looks small sitting there, wincing every so often, and upon further inspection, I see Arlene is closing a gash on her head.

One that wasn't there when she left this morning.

"Why is her head being stitched up?"

"It's not his fault, Eric. It's mine. I wasn't paying attention." Everly announces carefully, reaching for my hands. Hers are freezing, and they pull me forward. "The stairs were really slippery, and I missed a step and fell backwards."

I give into her touch, immediately stepping as close as possible to her. In the process, I knock Arlene out of the way. She lets out a huff of annoyance, but she's mostly done. She's been silent this whole time, somehow managing to keep her word. For now. I stare at Everly to make sure she's truly alright, and not just trying to make Jeremy feel better. But aside from where Arlene was working, she seems fine.

I slide my fingers through hers, and I reach forward to touch her face. I can feel Jeremy watching me, his beady eyes glued to my hand, and I gently turn Everly's head to the side. I can see where her head's been cracked open and Arlene's neat stitches lie, but nothing more. I let my thumb brush over her cheekbone, until Arlene clears her throat.

"Coulter, I need to finish up and you're in my way."

Her words are as polite as I'm going to get. I step to the side, staring at Everly like I'm waiting for her to vanish into thin air. Out of the corner of my eye, I spy Jeremy slinking away with his shoulders tensed and his head down. He seems disappointed, but for a reason I can't quite place my finger on. I frown, and when I look back at Everly, she's frowning, too.

Fiercely.

"Everly…"

"I'm alright. We'll just have matching stitches." She tries to smile, but it's ruined when Arlene knots the final stitch. The look on her face tells me it hurts, especially when Everly tries to wince away from her. Arlene throws me a very pointed look that tells me she's dying to say something, but she somehow refrains. I know this must be killing her to not comment. She makes a few notes on the papers beside her, then mutters she'll be back with the discharge papers and not to leave without them.

"I know what you're going to say." Everly stares at me with a look on her face that tells me she regrets getting out of bed today. Or maybe choosing to shadow Max. Or maybe not listening to me when I said I was worried.

Good.

"Oh, and whatever would that be?" I sneer at her, but not really. I'm relieved she's fine. I found that I didn't like her getting hurt, but I do find some irony in her being injured while on Max's watch. There's a reason he isn't down here, explaining what happened himself. I would guess he'd say it wasn't his fault, and Everly seems to agree with that. Before she can say a word to convince me otherwise, there's a loud screech, followed by a blur of black rushing past my legs and over my boots.

"Henry! Get back here!"

It takes me far too long to realize there is a child running around here, even as he stomps all over my boots, on purpose. He stops to look up at me, his dark hair an uncombed mess, and his face covered in chocolate cake. He reminds me of Four, particularly the way he's a walking disaster who's glaring at me. He stands there defiantly, as the woman I can only presume is his mother rushes up behind him. She's holding a smaller child in her arms, this one also messy and unkempt, and she looks equally the mess. Her hair is sloppily pulled up, and she yells for her spawn as she passes the second bed.

"Henry!" She yells his name again, her face showing her annoyance, as shockingly, he does not listen and immediately return to her. He takes off in the opposite direction. There are a few more bangs and crashes as Henry finds a cart full of medical supplies, and she rushes off to catch him before Arlene can take notice. We hear her shriek his name a few more times, the sound obnoxiously loud, and I narrow my eyes when Henry gleefully appears without his mother.

Sweet freedom is once again his, and he bolts right at us.

He runs like a maniac. Someday, it'll come in handy for him. Now, he's an obnoxious pest, one who stops right in front of me, like I'd been the one yelling his name. He cocks his head way up to look at me, and his mouth falls open when his eyes land on the tattoos on my throat. For a second, I expect him to run. I'm dressed in my uniform, and he's in what looks like pajamas, and he's basically a foot tall.

To my disdain, he doesn't move.

"You're Eric!" He yells my name in a very loud voice, and I wonder if his mother wears ear plugs on a daily basis. He's undeterred by my scowl; he keeps staring, and he even comes closer, like I wouldn't kick him across the room if he pissed me off enough. "I saw your picture in my book at school! We learned about faction leaders last week."

He sounds proud at knowing this fact, and I bite back the urge to tell him to fuck off. My photo is everywhere. It's in every contact list for every faction, on quite a few posters, and in the manual Everly was reading. In the school books, the latest copy printed by Erudite to make sure all children knew about the other factions, and even on the projected announcements when needed. There was no reason he shouldn't know who I was.

He keeps grinning, something wide and smug, until he looks at Everly next to me. His eyes immediately grow wary of her, especially when he sees my hand on hers.

"Who are you?" He rudely demands, and he frowns at her again.

Everly isn't bothered by him. In fact, she seems to find him entertaining. She waves the fingers on her free hand at him, and she looks down at him with a smile.

"I'm Everly."

"Are you his girlfriend?" Four Junior sounds displeased at this idea. He tilts his head to look at her sideways, then flings it back up when he's done. "Because my mommy said that Eric's girlfriend is way too nice and way too pretty to be involved with him."

Everly smiles even wider.

I raise my eyebrow at the both of them. His words, while accurate, are spoken with a dramatic and exaggerated tone that tells me I've been the topic of his mother's conversation. I am none of her business, even if her child has seen my photo in a school book. Next to me, Everly tries not to laugh and I glare at her for good measure.

"Is that so?" I jerk my hand away from her and cross my arms, insulted that my own wife isn't sticking up for me. The kid grins, pleased that Everly finds him funny. She notices my scowl, and she shakes her head.

"Eric."

I ignore my traitor of a wife, and I decide I will sign off on her working with Four for the rest of her life if this is what I get.

Henry turns back to her and rises up on his toes to get a better glimpse of her face. "I'm six. When I grow up and I'm nine, I'm gonna take Eric's job around here." He pauses, waiting for Everly to be impressed with his shitty and impractical plans. "When I'm a Leader, you can be my girlfriend."

I momentarily debate telling him he can have her. I should tell him she'll make him share his blankets and his cake.

Everly humors him by smiling again and shaking her head as though he were serious, and she'd actually contemplated it. "Thank you for the offer. But I'm actually Eric's wife."

He doesn't take rejection well.

I smirk as he stomps his foot in protest. "But he's mean!" He scowls and looks over at me. "That's what my mom said."

"Oh I'm mean, am I?" I hiss at him, fully done with this conversation. I'll show him how mean I can be. If Everly wanted to sit here and entertain him, it was all on her. But I wasn't about to be insulted by some infant whose mommy was offended by my daily attitude.

Luckily for Henry, his mother appears before I can decide if I should leave him to spend the day with Arlene or throw him right into the chasm. She comes rushing around the corner clutching her other child, and she stops a few feet away from me. Her gaze swings wildly between Everly and I, and I can see her discovering that Everly in person is far different than talking about her in the safety of her apartment.

She looks like she also wants to bolt, and if Henry wasn't here, she would.

"Henry." She half whispers, half yells his name, deep mortification all over her face. "Apologize right now."

Her eyes stay on me. Every so often they blink at Everly, but they mostly are stuck on me. She has the same look on her face as someone right before I knock them unconscious, and her fingers curl around her baby as though I'll rip him right from her arms.

I should.

Because I'm mean.

I'm not sure what I'd do with it, but I could figure that out later.

"Henry."

She says his name again, this time pleadingly. Next to her, Henry shrugs and stares at his boots. Then the table. Then the ceiling. He finally turns to me and sticks his nose up.

"Sorry." He mumbles, and he doesn't sound very sorry at all.

"I am…I am so sorry. I'm taking him home now. We just came in because he had a fever…"

His mother keeps mumbling, like I care why her precious little brat is in here and that will make it all better. I don't care. I glare at him until he leaves, his mother grabbing his arm and yanking him along with her, and she apologizes again.

I ignore her.

I ignore Arlene, too.

She laughs so hard that she actually looks like she's crying, and I hope she chokes on something tonight.

Everly watches all of this; her head wound long forgotten, and she snickers as she hops down off the table. I glare at her as well, even when she takes hold of my hand, and even when she whispers that she doesn't think I'm that mean.

I glower all the way home, reminding myself to be extra mean to everyone from here on out.

 

 

On the 25th of December, it finally stops fucking snowing. I don't have any real attachment to the weather, but it means the trucks can patrol again, and we aren't stuck inside. Which wouldn't be bad, if I didn't have Dauntless' head investigator sitting on my counter and watching me cook dinner.

"Are you going to tell me about your last relationship?" Everly neatly takes a bite of the carrot she's holding. She'd been helping, mostly by sitting there and observing me. While her company was nice, her questioning was not. I raise my eyebrow at her, wondering where that came from, before I return to the dish in front of me. I stop when I'm happy with how much of this turkey I've carved away, and I point the knife at her.

"Points for bravery, Amity."

She's unafraid. She rolls her eyes at my threat and watches as I reach for two plates. When I was younger, and Daniel managed to come home for dinner one time on this very day, he had told me that long ago, people celebrated this day. He had some reasoning behind it, one that made no sense to me. But the next year he had to work, so Blythe and I sat and glared at each other while one of our maids brought dinner in from the kitchen.

I can still remember eating a meal similar to this, even though at the time I hated every second of it. And while I wouldn't typically make an entire turkey for myself, it felt like I should do this for Everly.

Even if she wouldn't know why. Nor did she care.

"Just tell me." She looks up at me, swinging her bare feet back and forth, returning to her normal, casual, investigative self. She shivers slightly, finishing the carrot and crossing her arms over her chest.

My apartment is cold. The whole faction is cold, but I'd kept Everly warm. In fact, just last night I'd made sure she was nice and warm as she drifted off to sleep, completely exhausted after I'd undressed her.

I hate to inform her I'll let her freeze if she doesn't stop.

"It's unimportant." I keep my stare on the plate in front of me, admiring my work. Sure, we'd never eat even half of this, but that was fine. Except I wasn't fine. I wasn't about to inform her that if she wanted to be technical, she was the first and longest relationship I'd had. I don't think I could quite pull off calling fucking Ashley in my free time an actual relationship, no matter what Ashley tried to make of it. And everyone else in between, they were simply no one.

"I told you about Landon." Everly protests, and her voice is very kind. I look up at her briefly, and she smiles.

"And a thrilling tale it was." I count to ten. I wipe the knife off and set it in the sink, then reach for the pot on the stove. "Do you want green beans?"

Her lips press together as I change the subject. I'm well versed in her reactions, and I know she's not thrilled. But since the night she asked me ten thousand things, then sixteen more, I'd managed to avoid her any time she asked me anything. I didn't see the point in trying to define anything. I'd told her more than I'd ever told anyone but fessing up that I loved her left me the vulnerable one. I'd look stupid. She'd be validated that I'd developed some school girl crush on her, and I was trying to make something out of nothing.

But it wasn't nothing.

She was happy with me, sure. But that didn't mean she loved me, and truthfully, she shouldn't. Jack Kang was right. My life was swinging wildly, only held together because I was great at avoidance. But really, I was one single email away from losing it all. One demand for either my full attention or my wife before I was pulled in two directions. One dark request from snapping, as my entire life fell apart right in front of me.

I am no one she should love.

"Yes." She finally answers, and I finish her plate. I turn to hand it to her, and she stays perfectly still.

"Eat up. You'll gain absolutely nothing by knowing anything about my past relationships. They are utterly irrelevant to what goes on between you and I."

She still doesn't move. Or she doesn't believe me. She has her plate, but she's staring at me like she's trying to solve some unsolvable mystery. I silently wish her the best of luck as I walk over to the kitchen table, taking the first seat I see. "Are you eating on the counter?"

I glance back to see her slide down and off the counter, careful not to spill her plate. She follows me to the table, sitting down and pulling her knees up beside her. I take a bite of my food, pleased that it's turned out well, and Everly pretends she's eating.

"Is she still here?" Everly stabs her turkey, but I can see her looking over at me. I stop chewing, wondering if she's really serious. If she really thinks she can ask me such questions, of if she's lost her mind. But she pushes her food around her plate, this dinner I just spent hours on, and I swallow heavily.

"Everly." I say her name darkly, and she doesn't look up. "Stop it."

I must be speaking another language. Everly doesn't eat, she just stares at me, her fork poised above her mashed potatoes.

"Am I going to run into her? Won't I look awfully stupid if I sit by her at lunch and don't even know who she is?"

"I can guarantee you won't sit next to her at lunch." I snap, growing more and more irritated by the second. It would be a cold day in hell before Everly sat by someone who I'd slept with.

"But what if I do?" Everly finally takes a bite of her dinner, but she looks distraught at the thought of eating lunch with an ex-girlfriend of mine. "Eric?"

"You won't." This time, I snap right at her. I may like her, and I may have feelings for her that I'll never admit, but I didn't sign up for round two of her questioning. Especially because the answers don't paint me in a very favorable light. Admitting I'd never dated anyone long term was bad enough, but Everly's only relationship had been with someone she'd spent her entire life with. Fucking random members of the Dauntless faction because I was bored with Ashley wasn't exactly the same thing.

It wasn't that I regretted it, but it certainly didn't make me sound like someone she'd marry. And the fact that I was even worked up about it all, made me livid.

"Is she…"

"Enough." I snarl loudly, and I realize I've had it. I stand up, shoving my plate out of the way, and I stare down at her. Everly looks at me with wide eyes, never having really been on the receiving end of this shitty mood. But I'm done. I'm done being reminded that my life was shit before her, and I'm done trying to forget that I am solely responsible for that.

But I'm not done with her.

I reach for her. I slide my arms around her waist, pulling her up until she's right against me, standing next to the chairs. My fingers find the nape of her neck, and she looks up at me with her large green eyes, and I can see her mind working. I'll bet she's thinking this is the moment she gets to see just how mean I am. That whatever Four warned her about was true, and she should have run when she could.

I work to slow down my thoughts, before I destroy everything I have with her. I open my mouth, intending to tell her to just drop it, but what comes out is not what I had planned.

"They meant nothing to me. Nothing at all. You want their names? All the details? You want to hear what I did with each of them? How it compares to what I do with you?"

Everly bites her lip and shakes her head. The regret is all over her face, and I feel something along the lines of remorse for snapping at her.

"I just want you to tell me…"

She pauses, and the way her voice trails off, tells me that I'm in the wrong. This questioning isn't to remind me about my life here before she walked into it, nor is it to make me look stupid. It's for her own reassurance, a reassurance she's so bravely sought out.

"You want me to tell you that I love you. Believe me, I know."

I don't mean to say that, either.

In fact, I snap my mouth shut as her eyes widen.

"I ended things with both of them. I grew bored, uninterested in them past the point of my bedroom. Is this what you want to hear? I never kissed them goodnight and I never held them against me while I slept." Everly shifts ever so slightly, and I realize she's moving closer to me.

"I never said their names while I had my way with them. I never bothered to remember where they came from, or what they were wearing the first time I met them. I never thought about marrying either of them."

"How long did you think about marrying me for?" Everly peers up at me, and just like that, the rotten block of anger starts to break apart. I close my eyes for just a moment, and I loosen my grip on her hair. I think of the day I'd first seen her. I hadn't wanted anything to do with her then, but that was the image that always came to me when I thought of her.

"Long enough." She nods her head, and one of her hands grips my shirt.

"Eric, I…"

"No more questions for a month, Amity."

I lean in to kiss a silent, unspoken apology to her. For all the things I can't or won't say, for the very way I'd reacted.

For a second, things are fine. Then she breaks our kiss, shaking her head no. "Two weeks." She bargains very prettily, and I smirk at her pleading expression.

"Three weeks." I remain perfectly neutral, my eyes on her.

"Two and a half weeks." She does her best to counter back, but I'm onto her.

I raise my eyebrow, pleased when she narrows her eyes right back at me. "Two months."

"That's not how negotiating works, Eric." She protests by sliding her hands up until they reach my jaw. They curl into my skin and she pulls me down to her level. Had she been anyone else, I would have resisted. But I give in to her, my forehead resting against hers.

"I wasn't aware you were in any position to negotiate with me." I press my lips to hers gently, and she reacts immediately. Softly, sweetly. Until I bite at her lower lip, happy with the way she pushes closer to me. I decide right then and there, that if she can get it out of me, I'll tell her whatever she wants.

She won't, but the idea makes me feel better.

"Fine. Two weeks. But you'll have to work for the answers." I feel pretty smug when I think about my decision. There's a very slim chance I'll actually tell her, but there are worse things in life than Everly wanting to get close to me.

Of course, she runs with it.

A huge smile breaks out on her face, the same wide and happy one – much like the time I gave her the chocolate cake, and her eyes find mine.

"Anything I want to ask you?"

I squint at her, and the impending doom smacks me right in the face.

This might go down in history as one of my worst ideas ever. The glint in her eyes tells me she's going to keep asking me questions, until I can't dodge them anymore.

"We'll see about that."

She smirks at me, and I have the sinking feeling I don't stand a chance.

 

 

She plays dirty.

I am caught completely off guard when she climbs into bed, giving me one very sweet look right as she slides the shirt she's wearing right over her head. Her leggings follow, and she kicks them to the side with practiced ease. I wait for her to grab something to wear- my shirt, a nightgown, a tank top, but instead she throws the covers back and climbs right in, scooting over until her back is against me.

"It's really cold in here." She announces, pushing herself closer, until I reach one arm over and yank her against my chest. "I think the heat is broken."

"Could be." I mutter, and I bend my head down to touch hers. She stays still, and I enjoy the way she feels against me, even if she's freezing. "Or maybe it's the fact that you're almost naked."

"I was thinking…" she starts, and I close my eyes. Her hair smells good, she smells good, and she's slowly warming up. She none to subtly shoves herself back against me even further, and I don't even bother trying to stop myself from pushing my hips forward. "Eric?"

"Yeah?" I'm completely distracted. My hand creeps up her ribs, skimming her skin slightly, up to her collarbone. I touch her lazily, and she reacts just like I want her to. Her feet graze my calves and she sighs, reaching up to take hold of my fingers.

"Are you excited for the…the party?" She says the word tentatively, like she's not really sure what to call it.

I nod against her head.

"Do you think a lot of people will be there?" She tightens her grip on my hand and moves it. She slides it down lower, until it rests on her stomach.

"I'm sure." I mutter, far more interested in what she's doing than asking. "Everly, what are you trying…"

She pushes my hand down further, and this time, my fingers skim the waistband of her underwear. I can feel her smiling, and it takes me half a second to get the hint. I slide them beneath the waistband, all while trying to take off my boxers without using my hands.

"Do you go every year?"

Her head leans back into my chest, and I somehow manage to kick my boxers to the bottom of the bed. I lie back again, pulling her over and right on top of me. Mere seconds before I'm buried inside her. I listen to her sigh my name, enjoying the view as I sit up to kiss her.

"No." I mumble against her lips, sloppily trying to reach for her hips and her hair. "Not every year. Sometimes Jason and Rylan and I would go to Clyde's. There's a feed of the party we would log into. We'd…" I pause, and I have to force myself to stay still, enjoying every single second of this. "We'd watch it there."

"Oh."

I don't know what her lengthy oh is in relation to. It's either my answer or the fact that I've slid my fingers right where she wants them, and she groans as she pulls me back toward her.

"Did you ever bring anybody to this party, Eric?"

She whispers the words in my ear, gasping a few times as well.

"Or am I the first one you're bringing as…someone."

Fuck. I know exactly what she's doing, and even worse- she's getting away with it.

I should pull away from her and remind her that I said two weeks before she could ask me anything else, but she looks utterly delightful in this moment. Her hair is falling around me, her body is pressed against mine, her hips rock back and forth, and I'm buried so deep inside her that I could come right then and there.

"Everly…

I try to say her name warningly, but it comes out sounding like I'm really enjoying myself and not at all mad that she just tricked me. That she took advantage of my trusting nature and now she wants to know if I'd ever brought anyone as a date.

In the end, I lose to her little game.

I blurt out yes, yes she's the only person I've ever brought as my date, and she smiles widely. She goes to ask me something else, something that sounds like she's asking me if we can go next year too, but we both come right before I can answer. In the haziness of my mind, I make a note to tell her no more. That I won't be seduced by her because I'll know she's doing it so she can ask me something.

Luckily for her, I fall asleep almost immediately after. I'd meant to stay awake, but her head was on my chest and her legs had slid through mine and it was too warm and nice to protest.

I tried to gloat that she hadn't gotten all her answers, but sleep won out, and the last thing I remember is her softly saying my name, her fingers tracing something over my chest.

 

 

New Year's Eve is sort of cold.

Everly stays as close as possible to me. For once, she wasn't dressed like it was spring. I'd reminded her this party was held outside, and she'd listened. She threw on a few long-sleeved shirts, my hoodie, a jacket that matched mine, and boots that looked far warmer than her others. She'd look pleased with her decision, up until we actually got outside. The air was sharp and biting, and it forced her right up against my side in an attempt to not freeze. I put my arm around her, nodding as we walked past a few members I recognized, and found myself relaxing when no one seemed to bat an eye at our arrival.

The rooftop was packed. For those visiting, it probably felt dangerous to be up here. There was no railing along the edges, and the lighting was dim. Large bonfires in metal cans were lit around certain points, and there were a few metal lanterns above the bar that had been slapped together. This year's looked marginally better than the last, and a few of Clyde's staff stood behind it, busied with a long line of visitors waiting for drinks. There were areas with old worn couches shoved together, small sections set up so people could sit together, and there were plenty of people who were already taking advantage of the chance to sit down and relax before the party really got started.

I watch Everly with a smirk on my face, as she takes it all in.

It felt like she'd been here forever, but she hadn't, and there was something disgustingly sweet about the way she seemed impressed by the sight before her. Her eyes flit over the different people, their outfits giving away their factions, as they mingled. Old friends found each other, happy to reunite once again, and new friends were introduced. She watches it all with a funny expression as a few members of Dauntless stumble by, their outfits far more revealing than normal and I forget she's never seen Dauntless in action. They saw the cold as a challenge and dying of pneumonia was a small price to pay.

"This way."

I guide her to the left, around a small group gathered around one of the fires. I immediately know they are from Amity, but I've seen them here before. Despite Everly's confusion over this party, these people from her former faction had been here a few times. They laugh with a group from Candor, talking excitedly over each other as they warm their hands over the fire.

"Do you want something to drink?" I glance down at Everly, her arm still around me, and we step closer to the bar. The line has mostly dissipated, and she nods her head. I like her this close to me, and so far, not a single person has given her a dirty look or tried to stare at her. This feels like a total win, like an acceptance neither of us need, but I'll take it over people questioning why she was with me.

We pass by Peter, schmoozing some girls from Erudite and trying to pretend he's far more important here than he is, and we pass a group of our newest members, including a cheerful and red-faced Karl. It's obvious he's already had a few drinks. He laughs loudly, and he and his friends shove each other good naturedly. Everly doesn't seem to notice; she's staring at the edge of the roof with a look of apprehension on her face.

"There's a menu there." I point to the sign, wondering if she'll like anything. "They're all…festive. For tonight."

"Have you tried them all?" I shake my head no. She's quiet as we reach the bar, reading the list of drinks they'd written out while we wait. I nudge her with my elbow when it's our turn, and she steps forward.

"I'll have a mint hot chocolate." She announces cheerfully. The man behind the bar grins at her, his eyes taking her in. In this dim lighting, she could be anyone, but even in the dark she doesn't look like some random member of Dauntless. He eyes her a second longer than he should, but not in any way other than kindly. She's looking at his hair, the mohawk sprayed with glitter and spiked up as high as it'll go.

He reaches for a glass mug and begins to pour a clear liquid into it. "You sure? It's strong." His mohawk stays in place while he works, and he's impressively fast.

She nods her head and looks over at me, and the judgmental expression on my face. "It sounds good."

I can't help but snort. It might sound good, but I know she picked it because it's hot.

"What?" She pretends to look shocked. "You don't like hot chocolate?"

I shake my head, hoping she doesn't wind up completely hammered off this one drink. I knew for a fact it would be stronger than strong, and Amity hadn't proven to drink all that much. Not that I cared. I liked her just the way she was, and I had little desire to see her sloshed out of her mind, especially once the fireworks started. "Enjoy your tequila and peppermint schnapps with splash of hot chocolate."

She looks slightly confused as I turn back to the bartender and glance at the same list she was just reading. The options are a bit fancier for tonight, so I pick the first one that sounds appealing. "Shot of Evan Williams. Don't mix mine up with hers."

The bartender throws a sly look at Everly, then winks at me. He slides Everly her drink, then he pours a very generous amount into my glass. Next to me, Everly wrinkles her nose at the strong smell, then takes a sip of her hot chocolate.

"What is that?" She asks curiously.

"Bourbon." I answer, and I wonder if she's ever had any. I'd guess no. I put my hand on her lower back and guide her toward one of the fires. There's an empty couch there, and she'll be warmer if we sit close by. She sits down impossibly close to me, curling herself right into my side.

"Are you cold?" I ask, looking down at her.

She smiles up at me, pleased when I move my arm so she can get closer.

"I'm good now." Everly answers, watching the people around us, and I lean back.

For once, we have nothing to do.

I'm content to sit here with her, in the cold air, with a drink in my hand. Jason and Rylan are off getting ready to light the fireworks, and so far I haven't seen a single other Leader here. Not even Max, who insisted we all attend such an event. Not Tori or Harrison, and not even Wonderboy Jeremy.

Everly leans in closer, taking a slow drink of her hot chocolate as someone trips, and smacks their head on a trash can. She laughs quietly, and my fingers touch her earlobe. It's warm where we're sitting, and I have the urge to slowly touch every inch of her. Unfortunately for me, the minute Everly turns to look up, Jeremy and Tris appear. They both look red, and Tris attempts to flatten her hair back into something less terrible than it normally looks.

"Sorry." Tris smiles at Everly, but she works hard to avoid looking at me. "We lost track of time."

Jeremy pretends to be embarrassed, and I bite down the urge to say something nasty. Everly had very carefully mentioned they would be here. She also very carefully mentioned she told them we'd be here. She'd then blinked at me and looked up at me with an expression that told me she'd agreed to meet them and she couldn't think of a way to get me to be on board.

"It's ok. We just got here." Everly answers brightly, and they take that as an invitation to sit down next to us. Tris looks incredibly uncomfortable, and Jeremy just looks awkward. I decide they're perfect for each other, but that doesn't make me like either of them.

For a second, there is silence between us, and noise coming from the party around us. It's obvious neither of them knows what to do. Tris isn't drinking anything, and Jeremy looks far too stiff to be her date. Or maybe stiff enough.

Eventually, Jeremy leans forward, and when I notice him, and he nods.

"You uh, find anything else out about that e-mail Max sent out?" He rubs the back of his neck nervously, like he's not so sure he can talk about work out here. Not that I want to, but I'm not about to start up a conversation with him of my own free will. "I'm not sure how to find out what areas use localized water sources."

Everly sits up straighter and looks at me. "What e-mail?"

"You didn't get it? I thought Max sent it out. He just wanted to know what factions use additional water sources. Like lakes and streams." I can feel myself start to grimace, wondering how she could have missed it. It's not like it was riveting, but it had gone out to everyone. Though I hadn't looked to make sure her name was on there. "Dauntless has a backup water system in case the main one fails. Same thing with the generators. Max didn't go over this with you?"

Everly shakes her head, and she looks confused. "No. Maybe he will soon. Why would Max want information about this?"

I smirk at her innocence.

"He doesn't. It was forwarded on from Jeanine."

She nearly drops her drink. She catches it, and I lean in so my lips touch her ear. "It's exactly what you're thinking, and I suggest you pretend you are none the wiser."

Everly nods her head and clutches her drink tighter.

"Just e-mail the faction assistants and ask them. If you don't get anything back from them you can talk to someone from Erudite's resource preservation teams. They'll tell you."

Jeremy nods, and you'd have thought I shared some deep dark secret with him. He looks like he's about to say something else, but there's a loud banging sound coming from somewhere behind us, and the lanterns flicker, then turn off completely. Everyone on the roof quiets down, and the air goes absolutely still.

"It's starting!"

The shriek comes from somewhere ahead of us, and Everly perks up.

"Who's in charge of the fireworks?" Everly asks quietly, and she's looking around frantically. She squints at the fires, and I nudge her arm and point up into the black sky. Tonight, there are no clouds, only stars and darkness that'll soon be lit up.

"Look up there. Jason and Rylan are in charge of them. There's a pretty good chance one of them will end up catching fire before the night's over."

Everly turns her head at the perfect moment; a second later, the first firework goes off.

Her eyes widen.

She leans forward, her drink long forgotten.

The fireworks are loud, far louder than one would expect; they burst one right after another, carefully timed by Jason and Rylan, carefully mixed with colors from each faction. She stays still as the sky lights up with white, then a blur of gold, pink and red. Eventually, these fireworks fade, until the next group explode in a burst of blue and green. There is a hint of black mixed in them, so dark you can barely see it, but it's there.

Everly watches in rapt fascination. Every so often, her face is lit up by the colors in the sky. She looks beautiful, her dark hair a contrast to the light shadows, and her face in awe of the explosions in the sky.

"You've never seen these before?" I ask her lowly, noticing she's now on the edge of her seat. We had a great vantage point from here. I knew where Jason and Rylan would light them off from, and this was the perfect spot to watch them. I just hadn't expected her to be so riveted.

"I haven't." She answers quickly, never taking her eyes off the sight in front of us. I lean forward, moving until I'm even with her and my thigh is pressed up against hers. I slide my arm around her waist, pulling her close into me, and I tilt my head down.

"Your Amity is showing." I tease her, and she elbows my chest so she can pay attention to the show.

"Quiet, Eric."

I can't help but laugh at her, and how she's the only one who'd ever get away with saying that to me. I move her hair off her neck, and I lean in to press my lips there. Her skin is warm, and she shivers when my teeth sink into her skin. I feel her suck the air into her lungs, as she tries hard to sit up straight and not give in to me.

"Pretty." I murmur against her skin, rising up when six fireworks go off at once. I watch them with little enthusiasm, the sight in front of me far better than the one in the sky, and Everly looks back at me suddenly.

"They are really pretty." Everly answers sheepishly, and her cheeks are red. Maybe from the cold or maybe because she's been staring at the sky like she's never seen such a sight before and I'm not watching it at all. I find myself smiling, my lips curling up as I lean into her.

"I wasn't talking about the fireworks, Everly." I forget that two seats down, sit Jeremy and Tris. I kiss Everly slowly, her lips cold and soft against my own, and I fumble to set my drink down.

Everly follows suit. She somehow puts her own drink next to mine without spilling it. She slides her hands over my cheeks, until they stop in my hair. I feel her fingers dig in as I kiss her harder, completely forgetting about everyone around us. I know it's unlikely they can see us in the dark and the brief bursts of light, but I don't care. All I can focus on is Everly, how sweet and lovely she is, and how good it feels when her lips part open. I slide one of my hands into her hair, my fingers tangling in the softest strands, and she collapses into me. I want to pull her onto my lap so she's as close as possible and I grunt when she breaks away from me with a heavy inhale.

She only stays away for a split second. She moves closer, rising up on her seat so she can kiss me again. She sighs in content, and my fingers tighten in place. I want to save this moment forever, her and I, in the cold air, beneath an exploding sky.

Eventually, the fireworks slow down, and I break away from her with the intent of giving her a chance to catch her breath.

My mouth is a step ahead of my brain.

"Everly." I say her name lowly, and I feel out of control. I stare at her, her face the only thing I can focus on, and she leans in. She presses her forehead against mine, and swallows.

"Eric." She whispers my name, and I realize that I no longer have anything to hide. That out of everyone here, Everly is the only person who I want to know everything. Even if I don't want to tell her myself, I want her to know. I want to tell her how I feel, that she's the only one I've felt such things for, that she's all that's ever mattered.

I realize I have that chance. That she might not even hear me, because the fireworks suddenly explode in a frantic burst. All around us, people begin cheering as the finale kicks off, and the roar is deafening.

I decide to tell her.

It'll risk everything. If someone happens to notice or overhear, Everly and I will both be a target for Jeanine. Or anyone who simply wanted to have something over me. But that's not enough of a deterrent for me. I lean in closer, until my nose touches hers and I stay there. I could easily kiss her, but this is far more intimate.

"I…"

The words stick in my throat.

Three little ones, that should be easy to say. Hell, I could bark them at her and she'd more than likely accept them.

Yet, I can't say them. I swallow them down, listening to the people around us shriek their excitement as the finale really picks up. All around Everly, the sky is lit up in a rainbow of colors, and they explode louder than before.

"You. Only you. I only want you." Before I can say anything else, I kiss her frantically. My unspoken words feel like shards of glass sliding up my throat, but I ignore it. I kiss her again and again, until the fireworks stop, and I pull back. My eyes open to the sight of her, lush and lovely, and I can't look away from her.

I love her.

And I should tell her.

Right now.

"Everly, I…"

I don't get to finish what I'm saying. Not because I chicken out, or because I can't say the words again, but because someone begins screaming bloody murder, right before a gunshot goes off.


	22. Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to Bamberlee for editing this chapter!!!
> 
> Major thanks to all who reviewed the last chapter!! You guys are awesome! 
> 
> I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!! Just a heads up- next week I will be out of town for my children's fall break. I will do my best to update on Friday, but otherwise, it'll be updated Sunday when I'm back.

The second gunshot is louder than the first.

I react instinctively; I break away from Everly and shove her back into the couch, and I take off straight toward the gunfire. My ears ring loudly, and I focus only on pushing my way through the crowds of people gathered around, moments ago transfixed by the fireworks. It's only been mere seconds since the gun was fired, so people are reacting slowly. A few look confused at the sound and a few look terrified. The group from Amity are shrieking, and their friends from Candor are looking around wildly, trying to figure out what's going on.

Most from Dauntless immediately head toward the sound of the gunfire. Even off duty, they are well trained and ready for action.

I know exactly where the sound came from. I stalk toward the back corner, where an ancient, rotting ladder leads up to this roof. There's already a small circle of people formed, all in black, attempting to keep the man from venturing any further into the party. They'd been on patrol duty, stationed at several points of entry, and they're on him. When he doesn't back down, they draw their weapons, just as I break through.

"The fuck are you doing?"

I bark at him, and I wait for him to stop now that he's surrounded. He's filthy, clearly factionless, but his expression doesn't convey coherence. He doesn't seem upset that his plans have been interrupted. In fact, he waves the gun around like a lunatic, and he stumbles forward as if the idea to simply walk past me has just occurred to him. After a split second, he grins, and aims the gun right at me.

"Put the gun down. They'll shoot before you can."

I hiss the words at him, just as he comes for me. I've dealt with worse. I'm unarmed, but I step forward, shift my weight, and punch him as hard as I can.

Behind me, someone shrieks even louder. The gun in his hand flies to the side as he collapses, and I hear it clatter on the rooftop.

"Grab the gun." I announce to no one in particular. Those nearest to me are from Dauntless, and one of them grabs it before someone else can. "Keep it on you. And you, hold still."

The man groans, his hands pressing against his jaw in agony, and he slurs something angry in my general direction. The punch had hurt him more than me, but my own knuckles ache from the blunt force of punching him. I ignore the feeling as I step over and around, jerking him to his feet. He smells like pure alcohol, and he swears loudly as I twist his arm back.

"You got him, Eric?" The circle has grown closer now; the man to my left works a weekend patrol, and he reaches forward to grasp the man's other arm. I watch him quickly handcuff him, and I nod.

"I got him."

I stare over the dirty, matted hair, and my gaze goes right to Everly. She's standing next to some people from Candor, her eyes focused right on me, and an expression of pure concern on her face. I try to slow the adrenaline running through my veins, both from this, and the fact that seconds ago, I'd been about to tell her I loved her. The words had been right there, sliding up and ready to spill out, until he'd ruined it. I can't decide if I'm grateful or pissed off that he caused such an interruption, but his appearance isn't good.

"I can't see!"

Someone in the back yells out, upset that their view is blocked, but they quiet down when there are a few final explosions in the air. Everly never takes her stare off me, a flash of green amongst everyone else, and she only looks up when there is one more obnoxiously loud bang that feels like it shakes the roof.

Behind her, the fireworks finish their finale. The roof falls completely silent as the sky darkens, and no one moves. The factionless man mutters something as someone hands me the gun, and I realize with a slow and dark dissatisfaction- it's one of ours.

Fuck.

I stare him down, rage building, as my mind whirls. I think of all the ways one would have a gun from Dauntless. It wasn't like we had a manufacturing plant handing them out; they were carefully cataloged, down to the very bullets in them, and we assigned them. Soldiers checked them out as needed. Very few carried them full time. But this factionless man had one, and I was ready to rip his head off to find out where it came from.

But I'm forced to wait when Max makes his grand appearance like a bat out of hell. He rushes through the crowd with Tori on his heels, and an annoyed look on his face. Whatever he was doing was interrupted, but this wasn't the sort of interruption he could overlook. Factionless sometimes wandered near the Dauntless compound. It wasn't often, and they usually weren't right in the head. But none of them willingly came here, and if I had to guess, I'd say this one drank enough until it sounded like a good idea. I didn't think he came here on his own, but I was hoping I was wrong.

"What happened?" Max's question is loud, spoken quickly as he halts beside me. I take in his ruffled appearance, and I ignore him.

I turn to the factionless man, watching him mutter to himself. I tense slightly, the reaction automatic, as he mumbles what sounds like my name. I brush the feeling off, blaming his drunkenness on the slurry of words that are mostly garbage. A few of the Dauntless search his pockets, coming up emptyhanded except for another sleeve of ammunition.

"Why are you here?" I snap, looking him directly in the eye. He focuses for a minute, and I swear there's a speck of clarity there.

Until he lets out a loud, coarse laugh. He begins coughing, and I hear Max mutter something about him being just another drunk waste of space, when the man looks right at me.

His eyes flash, and I watch him speak slowly, his words a stark and blunt warning.

_Drink up._

 

 

Jason and Rylan show up just as I leave to take Everly home.

They are grinning from ear to ear, pleased with how their show went off, and both of their faces fall when they catch the somber mood on the roof. Aside from Max and Tori muttering about what to do with our factionless friend, and the low, panicked murmurs of those around us, the roof is almost painfully quiet. The party vibe has officially died, and everyone looks uneasy.

"What happened?" Jason nearly knocks Everly over as he pushes through the crowd, and he looks around frantically. "Why is it so quiet? Why's that guy in handcuffs?"

"Hey! Whoa." Rylan is a step behind him and stops right next to me. "The factionless came up here? How'd he know we'd be up on the roof? None of them have ever come up here before."

I stare at both of them, Everly's hand in mine, and I nod.

"Someone must have told him we'd be here. All of us. Including people from other factions. Someone who knew this party was going on." I grit my teeth as I look right at Rylan, and he nods slowly.

"Someone on the inside." He pauses, and he tries to connect the dots. "You think Four told him? But why would Four want to interrupt our party?" Rylan chews the side of his cheek and shakes his head. "I don't think it was him. I mean, he might not like parties, but I don't think he'd send someone up here with a gun to shut this one down."

"Tris did show up with another date." Jason snickers, and he points at Jeremy. He and Tris are hovering near the edge of the roof, and Jeremy looks visibly bothered. "Maybe he finally snapped. I saw him looking pretty miserable the other day. But he always looks like that, so who knows."

"You think Four did this? Because Tris came here with Jeremy?" Everly asks very quietly, and her fingers tighten in mine. Her concern is far different than mine. She's worried about Tris as a friend, and Four as a member of the general population. As much as I'd love to validate her statement and it pains me to even have to admit this, I don't think he's involved. There was something about the words the man spoke, and the fact that he knew how to get up here, and his drunken, disoriented state that didn't quite link this to Four. The pieces didn't quite fit together enough that I could place blame on him.

"No. I don't think he was involved in this."

I say the words evenly, and my gaze falls back to Jeremy. He throws one final look at the group of us, and he practically yanks Tris away so they can leave. I find myself frowning, not just at the way she appears to be protesting, but at the way he looks livid when she yanks her arm away from him. She looks back with her lips pressed together, but she follows after him eventually.

"Do you think someone sent him up here?" Everly asks, and this time, I tighten my fingers on hers.

Had he gotten just a little bit further onto the roof, just a few more large strides into the crowd, he could have done some damage. I was too wrapped up in Everly to even notice what was going on, and it could have cost me everything.

"Yes."

It's my last contribution to this conversation. I can't do anything until I find out who the gun belongs to, and that won't be in the next five minutes.

I decide to take Everly home. I'm careful not to yank her around; I nudge her in the direction of the exit, and she nods. She seems to understand, but she's quiet the entire walk back.

 

 

 

 

Everly's hands are far smaller than mine.

She holds onto my hand, hers paired up with mine, as though she's comparing the size. Her nails are painted pink, the same laughable color of the flowers on the kitchen table, and her skin has completely lost the summery tan she arrived with. She extends her fingers to try and meet mine, quiet until she laughs at something, and I fold my fingers down over hers.

I'd taken her home with the intent to forget about the rest of the night and celebrate the new year. This last year had been the strangest year of my life. I couldn't quite figure out how in the span of so few months, I'd wound up with a single initiate, marrying her the second I could, and was now lying in bed wallowing in the disappointment of the way this night had ended. It felt unfair; just another example of why things might not work with her, but I would be hard pressed to let myself fail now.

"What's so funny, Amity?"

I look over at Everly, and she shakes her head. She looks lovely, far nicer without all those heavy layers of clothes on. She moves her hand away from mine and turns over. She smiles as she props herself up over me, and her hair falls to touch my chest.

"Eric, what were you going to tell me up there?"

She looks right at me. Her eyes are bright and sharp, and I know there's no way I'm getting out of this. She clearly doesn't miss anything, nor did she forget about it.

"What?" I stare up at her, shrugging like she's crazy for thinking I was going to tell her something.

"You can just tell me how you feel you know." Everly offers, leaning even closer to me. "It's just me."

Of course it is.

It's always just her.

And I'm always in bed with her, while she does her best work.

"Oh I can, can I? Tell you how I feel?" I mock her, cocking an eyebrow when she doesn't get off of me. I really should go down and find Max. I should find out who the gun is registered to. If it's one that sits in our storage, or one that's assigned to someone directly. At the very least, I should see what they'd done with our latest visitor.

"Eric." Everly says my name insistently. She cocks her head at me, and her nightgown bunches up higher.

"I feel like you should take off that nightgown."

I reach out and push her hair out of the way, and my fingers graze the fabric of the nightgown she had on. While I usually found them to be arousing, this one was simply too much fabric. It was ruffled and twisted, and I swear it was slightly pink when I looked at it from a different angle. "Where did you get that anyway? It looks like it's for a small child."

Everly is displeased. She narrows her eyes at me to stare me down. "It's pretty."

"Pretty in the way." I retort, wishing she'd just take it off. I much preferred the night she climbed into bed wearing nothing. "I feel like you would look much better without it on."

"Eric." Everly says my name, and she scrunches up her nose. Her tone is not at all pleased, and she shakes her head no. "That's not what I meant."

I know that.

But now, in the stark quiet of my apartment, the moment is gone. I could say what I wanted to say, but it doesn't feel like the right way to tell her. I'd been utterly absorbed in her on the rooftop, but the events were jarring, and as much as I wanted to, I couldn't force that moment to come back.

"Eric."

"You wanted me to tell you how I was feeling." I say the words lightly, twisting her hair around my finger. She's warm, her body resting almost entirely on top of mine, and this view isn't bad. To make it even better, despite what's gone on, she doesn't look impatient or mad. She looks beautiful, her skin nearly as pale as her nightgown, and her lips pressing together. She does look a bit sulky, perhaps because that moment was ripped from her as well, and she knows it.

I sigh, and I decide at the very least, I could try to make up for it. It won't be the same, but it's better than nothing.

"I have something for you."

I easily push her off me. She sits down next to where I was lying, and watches as I climb out of bed and walk into the living room. I find my jacket, discarded on the counter, and I unzip the pocket I'd shoved her ring in. It was a stupid idea, one that felt embarrassing when I thought back on it, but I'd wanted to give her the ring tonight. I'd thought maybe we'd have a moment during the fireworks. I could play it off casually, like this was something she was supposed to have, and that there was no real emotional meaning behind it. Maybe she'd think it was routine or that she was supposed to have one.

I'd forgotten all about it when the gunshot went off, and luckily for me, the ring had stayed put. I toy with it for a moment, wondering if she'll even like it, or if she is about to laugh in my face. Everly is far from mean. She is the most patient and kind person I've ever encountered, but what I'd purchased for her might make her laugh. Stephan had showed me something gaudy and ridiculous. It would have looked stupid on her finger, but I'd found one hidden to the side, and he seemed hesitant to let me purchase it.

Because it wasn't at all like the others, nor did it announce that she was the wife of a Leader in Dauntless.

I walk back to my room as I try to predict what she'll think, and I catch sight of her looking down at my sheets. Her hair is longer than ever, and she's made no move to fix her hideous nightgown. It sits pooled around her lap, and she looks up in surprise when I walk back in.

"Where did you go?"

She looks up curiously, watching as I slide beneath the dark sheets, and I smirk at her. Any man would be lucky to be in bed with her, and I feel a bit triumphant when I realize this will officially announce that she'll never grace their beds.

Ever.

"Lay down and close your eyes."

I patiently wait, not entirely wanting to see her face the minute I slide it on her finger. Everly throws me a quick, suspicious look before she lies back down. She makes herself comfortable, looking far too pretty as I lean over. I move her hair off her neck, and I brush my lips against her fair skin. She squirms, and I can tell she's working hard not to grin.

"Hold still."

I kiss my way up her neck, enjoying the way she sighs, and I kiss her lips quickly. Then I lean back and take hold of her hand. I stare for a moment, her eyes closed as she waits, and her fingers in mine. I work them apart just a bit before I slide the ring down her finger. To my relief, it fits. I hold her hand in place, staring at what is most definitely a wedding ring, far more romantic than shitty flowers from Amity, and I feel a wave of intense pressure wash over me. By giving her this, I am formally announcing her as my wife. Even if the words hadn't been spoken to many, this would solidify the rumors, slicing the pleasure of those debating if it were true or not.

Because now, it was definitely true.

Her eyes open as I twist the ring and then the band around, until I'm pleased with how it looks.

Everly's eyes focus on the ring on her finger, and she sits up slowly. I recline away from her, watching her take in the sparkly diamond I'd bought with great interest.

I'd picked it out after finding it the only one satisfactory. It was the brightest and shiniest, and it reminded me of her. The dulled dark bands would have been more appropriate, or even something less girly. She rarely wore any jewelry that I'd seen. There was nothing in her ears. She never wore a necklace or a bracelet, and she could not want this.

It's what I'm thinking as she looks up at me, her cheeks flushing in the low lighting and her stare very questioning.

I knew no one in Amity wore a wedding ring. It would have been impractical on the farms, or easy to lose in the crops. Dirty from the acres of dirt roads. There was a risk of catching it in the farming equipment. There was also the price of these rings, and no one from Amity was overly concerned about such a thing.

So there is a strong chance Everly might thank me and slide it right off her finger.

"Do you…do you have a ring for yourself?" She asks, and her voice is quiet. She stares at her finger again, the ring gleaming every time she moves. I watch her carefully, until she looks back up at me. "Eric?"

I do.

I nod my head, and I reach for the other ring that had been in my pocket. Stephan had said it matched perfectly. I wasn't going to argue with him, but I also wasn't blind. The band was dark, and I had made sure it fit before I left. She watches as I slide it on my own finger, the weight of it immediately noticeable. It feels cold and heavy, but permanent.

Everly stays silent.

The air in my bedroom feels like it's been sucked out. She's staring at me with a look on her face like she wants to blurt something out, but she can't. I want to tell her I feel the same way, but I also can't.

Eventually, I look to the side of her, and I clear my throat.

"I was going to give it to you after the fireworks."

She lunges for me.

Everly Coulter kisses me frantically, her hands suddenly everywhere. They grip my hair tightly, pulling on the longest strands, and her nails dig in as she yanks my head toward her. She makes a strangled sound in her throat, breaking away to press her nose against mine, and I hold onto her tightly. She kisses me again and again, both of us desperate to reveal something, and this is as close as either of us can get.

Literally.

My tablet begins to beep, the emails coming at a rapid pace, and I realize by now, they've discovered who the gun belongs to.

I kiss her once more, slowly, and when I break away, it's like a punch to the stomach.

 

 

 

"It's registered here. To the armory. It's one used on all routine patrols. No major issues. Rarely fired. Last checked by a guy whose last name is Smith. Sounds fake if you ask me, but it was returned a week ago."

Rylan and I take the stairs two at a time, and he jumps down the last three.

"Brittney didn't notice it was missing. No major discrepancies in the inventory reports, but if you ask me again, she's been making up the numbers for a long time now. She reported we have twelve thousand semi-automatic rifles and we don't."

"Great." I groan, and I follow him down the hallway, until we reach the armory. The guards at the door look bored, waving us through without asking for identification. Rylan frowns at this, but I shove him forward, until the door shuts behind us.

"Hey, why does Jeanine hate Everly with a burning passion? She spent the whole meeting staring her down. Does she have something else against her? Or just that you love her more than life itself?"

I stop in my tracks, turning to find him smirking in front of the shelves full of guns. I want to remind him where we are, and that it would be easy for me to shoot him, but I give him a break. It's been a whole week since he asked me something Everly related, and after our meeting today, even I had to think it wouldn't be long before Jeanine asked me to divorce her.

Jeanine had shown up looking like someone had dragged her down here at gunpoint. She led a cut and dry meeting, expressing her displeasure at both the factionless man and the growing factionless population. She announced there would be no questions while she stared nastily at everyone. Me. Max. Rylan. Harrison- who deserved it because he was doing a crossword puzzle and not listening to her at all and not even bothering to try and hide it. Jeremy. Jason, who was eating his cereal as loudly as possible. And finally, Everly, who was probably the only one listening. She'd looked at her a few times with great irritation, each look sharper than the last.

"I told you. She's on the list." I say the word 'list' mockingly, and I shrug. "Jeanine knows I'm not interested in what she's doing and I'm not on board with agonizing over how much a fraction of a percentage counts toward Divergence. I don't have time to do her dirty work now. I have other things going on."

"Like your wife." Rylan grins, and he quickly counts the handguns in the cabinet he'd opened up. "We know you're all over her."

"Obviously." I retort without looking at him.

Jeanine had kept us after the meeting. Well, she'd asked for me. Rylan had stayed out of solidarity. After my talk with Jack, Rylan was fully invested in this alliance. He was now convinced it would come into effect sooner rather than later, and he took every opportunity he could to make sure he knew what was going on. Jeanine didn't appear bothered by his presence, at least until she realized neither of us were fully on board with what she wanted to do.

Since she had two of us there, she'd tried to give Rylan and I an intense and detailed patrol schedule. I'd squinted at what she showed me on her tablet, and I'd laughed in her face when I realized this kept me in Erudite for the next month even if I split the shifts with Rylan. I'd shoved it back at her, told her we'd be in touch, and I'd grabbed Rylan. We had already told Max we'd investigate how the weapon was found outside of the armory, and he'd told us to go for it. Jeanine had let out a huff, lowly threatening me with something along the lines of how dare I disrespect her when she could end what I had here, and I'd been ready to shove her down the stairs.

Until Rylan elbowed me and shot me a very pointed look.

One that told me I needed to keep this on good terms, because otherwise, I'd have Jack to answer to as well as Jeanine. That even he knew she was trying to lure me back to doing what she asked, but also to keep me away from Everly and if I didn't, I'd pay.

So, I smiled tightly, and told her I'd fit it in. I offered to send a few squads her way in my place. I explained that we were working to find out who had stolen our gun, and that I was personally following up with this factionless issue. I even went as far as to hint that this might be an act of divergence. This man could have been fed up with all the factions, and he'd gotten his shot at all of them.

Literally.

Jeanine had relaxed considerably when I offered up the factionless man if he proved to be Divergent. I didn't think he would, but she didn't know that. I also had little desire to involve her in what I was doing, but what I was telling her sounded convincing. Like it all related to what she wanted, even though I had no intention of bringing anyone before her. She backed off somewhat, pacified at the thought of another test subject, but the suspicion was still there.

Especially when her eyes had fallen to the ring on my finger.

"Here we go. Brittney's log for last week. Let's see, everything looks good up until Tuesday. That day, all the patrol squads who would have come through here are signed out as 'whoever', 'guy with purple mustache', and 'ugly face'." Rylan reads the report with a straight face, and he shakes his head. "Sir Smith checked out the gun in question, and for the time, she wrote, and I quote- 'none of your damn business'."

"Fuck." I swear, and I glance around wondering where she even is. "Pull her from the rotation. Have someone else work down here until we figure out what's going on. She can't work here if she's not going to do the job."

"I can't." Rylan answers and he suddenly looks stressed. "We're so short staffed. She's not even scheduled in here for the next two days, because she's working for the next month straight. With all the extra security detail, we're screwed. There's no one, unless Jason or I come down here."

"No. That won't work." I shake my head, and I realize my hands are tied. I could pull someone off their route, but that left them short, and I'd have to deal with Peter acting like he was majorly inconvenienced. But I needed Jason and Rylan doing what they were doing, not standing in here for hours organizing things. "We'll talk with her when she's back. I'll have the security footage pulled to see who was in here. Maybe we can see who took it out."

"Alright. Maybe she'll listen." Rylan agrees, and he sets down Brittney's sign out sheet and shuts the cabinet. "Hey uh, so you and Everly. It's like, official official."

"Marrying her wasn't official enough for you?" I stare at him over my shoulder, toying with a few stray bullets.

"No, dumbass. The wedding rings. I saw hers. It was nice. I was wondering what you bought from that weirdo. You can't possibly need any cat statues." Rylan grins and I roll my eyes.

"Maybe I do. What if I'm a cat lover?" I look him dead in the eye, and he starts laughing so hard he knocks over an entire shelf of loose bullets.

"Fuck. Help me pick these up. And doubtful, because you hate cats." He immediately scrambles to pick them up, and I recline back, watching him try to get them all.

"I'm not helping you. That's what you get for asking dumb questions."

I cross my arms over my chest and he glares at me.

"I thought the ring was nice! I'm on your side! You have one, too. It's cool. Did she like it when you gave it to her?" He dumps a handful of them on the table and sighs. "Fuck, why do we have so many bullets and why are they stacked over here."

"They aren't supposed to be." I point out and we both stop at the same time.

"Shit. Someone moved them. They did it to make sure they could just grab them as they walked by." He quickly looks left and right and groans. "They're supposed to be locked up. The guns don't matter so much, but the ammo does. You can't shoot anyone if you don't have that."

"Just leave it. Have the two outside pick it up." I announce, and I decide I'm already over this. Rylan drops a few more bullets on the shelf and he puts his hands on his hips.

"Okay, but the rings. I mean, no one wears them here. There's no need. Did you really buy them at the market? Everly didn't want to tattoo one on her?" He laughs as he says the last part, the idea of Everly getting a tattoo hilarious to him, so much that he apparently can't stop laughing.

I glare at him, but I smile when he hits his head on the shelf as he stands up.

"Yes, I bought them from Stephan." I stalk toward the exit, growing impatient over this conversation.

"You bought rings from a warlock? Interesting. I just…I've never seen anyone wear them here." He shoves the cabinet shut again, and I hear something fall with a loud clank. "Let's hope that's not loaded."

"He's not…" I give up trying to defend Stephan, because really, I only know him from the market, and once again- I've lost all control over this conversation. My preference for being in charge of everything has suddenly become tested every single day of my life, with every interaction. "You know what, let's go get lunch. I'll put in orders to have Brittney brought to my office once we're back."

"Sounds like a plan."

Rylan slaps the cabinet, and there are several more clanks as what sounds like everything inside slides down and hits the bottom. He raises his eyebrows at me, and bolts for the door. He's out before I can say his name, and I decide to have Brittney go to his office instead of mine.

 

 

 

A day later, Jeanine digs her sharp nails right the fuck into my skin.

It's not an email this time, it's her in person.

With a paper in her hand and an assistant with her, both seated in my office. It's not Ashley, but another generic blonde clone, who neatly writes down everything she's saying while somehow keeping her gaze locked on me. Jeanine speaks slowly, paranoia creeping up through every articulate and proper word, and I can do nothing but agree to help her because if I don't, it's quite obvious that I'm the one going against the system now.

Her office was infiltrated by a factionless man much like the one here, except this one warned her it wouldn't be long now.

 

 

 

On a day that's just as bleak as my mood, I sit in my office and stare blankly at the computer screen in front of me. My email has been blinking on and off for the past fifteen minutes, new message after new message popping up, each one demanding my immediate attention. They are all from various sources, and the sudden influx of impatient technology grates on my nerves.

I answer Jack's message first, neatly and warily typing up that Jeanine had a security breach, and I hesitate in sending it. It is sensitive information; all our emails are presumably stored somewhere, and I feel a bit woozy as my fingers hover over the send button. This is it. This is what he wanted. To know that not only did we have an issue, but it had happened in Erudite, too.

His demands are clear in my mind, and the image of Everly's face is right behind them. There's an internal debate raging, one that I could lose out on either way. Tell him and risk that it gets out that I'm sending such classified information, or don't tell him and risk that he finds out anyway and makes good on his threat.

In the end, Everly wins out above all.

I send the message to Jack, along with a thinly veiled message to call me when he gets it, and I sigh heavily.

I had barely seen Everly all week.

It felt like a year since I'd been home to eat with her, and six years since I'd gone to bed with her. I'd been working around the clock to find out how these factionless suddenly had access into factions, and it felt like pulling teeth to get answers. Security systems were bypassed. Cameras were clear. Patrols saw nothing and caught no one. Security teams in Erudite couldn't verify where they were at the time of the visit nor did they see anything suspicious. It was maddening, but no more so than coming home to find my wife asleep, clutching my pillow.

It all felt like disappointment. Crushing and heavy regret that I was failing in every aspect and winning at nothing. I couldn't make progress in my work, because every fucking step was a dead end, and I couldn't make anything better with Everly, because I never saw her. Jeanine was sneaky and sly, and once she'd sunk her claws in, she dug them just a bit deeper until she hit blood. Instead of training Everly like I was supposed to, Jeanine pushed to keep me busy, and blowing her off would lead to a whole slew of consequences I couldn't single handedly defeat. I couldn't even defeat them with Rylan and Jason's help.

My only hope was that at some point, she'd misstep, and I'd have an out. Because at the rate Jeanine was going, eventually, she'd fuck up. I grit my teeth when I realize I'm hoping for this. That it would be a quick way to untangle myself from her and her work, and I could focus on my life here in Dauntless.

It was feasible.

Maybe Jack was right. He paid careful attention to her, more than he let on. He was smart enough to notice the cracks in my allegiance to her were widening, the gap increasing with every threat that came toward Everly. The more Jeanine pressed, the less interest I had in what she was doing. I'd never found her theories to be all that enthralling, but I liked having the ultimate authority to do as I pleased. To take my aggression out on those who didn't matter to me. To control those beneath me, because I could.

But now, things were different, and it wasn't good.

Everly was a key element in all this, and everyone knew it. There wasn't a chance in hell I'd ever turn her in or do anything to endanger her. I'd promised to keep her safe, and I would. Unfortunately for me, my options were limited as to how to handle this situation when it came up, and I was fighting the clock before that time came. It was becoming clear my life would never be the same. There would be no quiet or easy nights with Everly as long as Jeanine had an interest in her. She might ease up for a while, but I'd always be on edge, wondering if at some point, Everly fell into the rigid criteria of who belonged here.

I could always try to take care of it, but I'd be taking it on myself, an act that could wind up looking like I'd murdered her simply because I could. I'd have to have plenty of evidence to prove what I was saying, and I was so deeply intertwined in her plans, there was a strong chance I'd go down right along with her. There would be no forgiveness since my hands were just as bloody, no matter how neatly I worded it or how much evidence I had.

I might be able to convince the Dauntless faction to see my side of it, but I'm sure plenty would oppose. Starting a revolution on my own terms wasn't something I could just do. If I was going to try, I needed time to prepare and it felt shitty to realize I didn't have the luxury of such time.

All this left me sitting here, realizing I missed her.

It isn't something I'm used to. No one in my life had ever been of any importance. Not seeing my friends wasn't detrimental to my wellbeing. Sometimes Jason got quiet and vanished for a few weeks, popping up to gloomily attend a meeting and leave before Rylan or I could ask what was wrong. Sometimes Rylan stayed with Christina and barely acknowledged anyone else existed. I didn't exactly miss them past sort of hoping they were alright because they were my friends. They knew if things were really shitty, they could show up and we'd handle it.

But this felt different.

Not seeing Everly felt cruel.

Like the worst punishment someone could have come up with if they had really wanted to get to me.

And they did.

Just.

Like.

That.

My attention is torn right back to Jack, and I wearily begin to type up a few further details he's asking for. He responds instantly, asking if he can call me, and I realize I won't make it home for dinner tonight.

 

 

 

Everly notices.

For once, her silence is deafening.

She watches me work from her usual spot on the couch. She is nothing but large eyes, messy hair, and oversized shirt. Her legs are bare, pulled beneath her, and she pretends to be reading the book I'd given her.

But she's not.

She's staring at the screen on my tablet, a chart of serum response times and why they vary, and she frowns. The next email is a video of people under the newest simulation, those who were unlucky enough to be Jeanine's test subjects. She watches them walk like zombies, gazes blank as they make their way through a test area, and she frowns even further. The next screen is a chart of errors, and she sighs.

"Are you…uh… do you have to look at all that?"

When I look over at her, she looks just as unhappy as I feel.

I don't know if she misses me, but it's possible she might.

 

 

On Friday, Harrison throws a coffee mug at Four's head.

Four ducks just in time, and it shatters when it hits the desk behind him.

"Are you serious right now?" Four asks dryly, and he crosses his arms over his chest. "Look, I already told you, the footage isn't there. I can't find anything from that date at those times. The sections go black. But it's not anything unusual. It's just…the storms…the backup generators…too many cameras on at once. Everything operates from here, and if we're running in conservation mode, that means we're bound to drop a few cameras now and again."

"Find it." Harrison informs him, and he points his finger right in his face. "You deleted it on purpose. You know what I saw."

"I didn't delete anything and how could I possibly know what you saw. You don't even know." Four defends himself, and Harrison shakes his head.

"Likely story."

I listen carefully, pretending I'm not. I toy with the screen I'm watching, while Kacie types furiously next to me.

"Nothing on this one. Brittney didn't show up today, but there's nothing out of the ordinary on the other ones you asked for." She speaks just as quickly, and her typing increases as she speeds up the video. "I can go back as far as two weeks. Anything past that is archived and it'll take me a few hours to dig it up and run through."

"You have time." I answer easily, and my watch beeps to remind me I was determined to head home and make dinner. Everly had looked pretty this morning, but also pretty pissed off. I wasn't used to seeing her look so irritable, but she barely shrugged when I said I'd meet her for dinner.

I couldn't blame her.

"Email me what you find." I demand, and I lean away from the computer.

"You don't want to wait for it?" Kacie spins around, and her eyes find mine. "Don't you need this?"

"I do. But not at this moment. And I'm not waiting here for two hours." I answer her rudely, watching Harrison threaten to demote Four. "I have dinner plans."

"Well then." Kacie huffs, and she sighs in annoyance. "I guess I'll just email you what I find. Or I could call-"

"Just email it." I answer, and cock my head as Four's face darkens when Harrison asks him to find the missing sections again. "If you find anything of major importance, call Rylan. He'll answer."

"Sure." Kacie answers in a bored tone, irritated that I'm not sitting here to watch her dig through footage. Or maybe it's because I'd asked her to do something she felt was beneath her. Either way, it was her or Four, and Four was currently trying to explain why whatever Harrison was stalking in the woods wasn't caught on tape.

"The truth is out there if you know where to look." Harrison loudly announces, and Four gives up on life.

He throws both of his hands up and shakes his head. "I'm taking my lunch break."

"You can't. You just got here." Kacie announces over her typing, but Four ignores her.

He falls in step with me once he reaches the door, and he swipes his card angrily. For a moment, the two of us walk in silence. I don't say anything and neither does he. When we reach the elevator, we part ways in an attempt to avoid each other. I take the stairs up, he takes them down.

I smile all the way home, thinking of his expression when he realized Harrison wouldn't let this go.

 

 

 

I make it back in time to make Everly dinner.

She looks surprised to see me, coming in the door right after me, and her face lights up when she realizes I have no intention of working through the evening. I make something quick for us to eat, doing my best to ignore the fact I can hear my phone vibrating on the counter the entire time, and it only grows more frequent the longer I don't answer it.

Everly can hear it, too.

She cocks her head every time it rings, and her lips turn down.

I hand her a plate, and practically push her toward the table, desperate for some normalcy tonight. She sits down next to me, so close her leg touches mine, and she smiles every time I bump against her. Her response is sweetly juvenile, but I can appreciate it. I kick her foot to make her smile, but her grin lessens when my tablet begins beeping.

I pretend I can't hear the stupid thing, but she can.

"Is someone trying to get ahold of you?" She asks innocently, and I'm sure she's wondering what's going on. But her expression is cranky, and I want to snap that I share her sentiments.

"Yeah. They are." I swear if it's Kacie, I'll fire her myself.

It beeps again, this time four times in a row, and I put my fork down.

"I'll be right back." I mutter, and I shove the chair back.

To my surprise, Everly does the same.

"Don't bother." She practically hisses the words right at me and her head falls down to glare at her food. The dismay is all over her. Her shoulders bow inward as she reaches for her plate and I can see the defeat at my distraction.

But I don't focus on that. I freeze in place, not sure if I heard her correctly. It's far unlike her to look so put out, like I personally asked every single person I knew to message me while I was eating tonight. But something nags at the back of my mind that this isn't really what she's upset over, and her snapping comes from that.

Too bad I have no clue what else could be bothering her.

It's also too bad that I have no patience for anything. If she knew half the shit that was going on, she wouldn't be sulking at the dinner table. I had only told her bits and pieces, enough to keep her in the loop, but not enough that the information could be used against her. I'd tried to protect her, and she was acting like I'd asked for Jeanine to shove herself right into my life.

"What did you say?" I snap right back at her, and I'm stuck a few steps away from the kitchen table. I can't help but think she's probably the first person other than Arlene to ever dismiss me in such a manner. "Did you tell me, don't bother?"

She stands up and shrugs. "It's fine. I'll just eat by myself. I know you have work to do."

It sounds like a much nicer version of her telling me to go fuck myself. The words feel spiteful and nasty, though I doubt she means them that way. But they bother me, as if she thought I was sitting in my office doing absolutely nothing all day. Or that I could simply tell Jeanine to shut up, and she'd listen and give me a day off.

"I have a job to do here." I darkly remind Everly, wondering if she's forgotten. My words are practically hissed at her, and she looks everywhere but at me.

"Whatever, Eric. I said it's fine." She shrugs again and pulls her still full plate close to her chest. "Just finish what you were doing. It's obviously important to you."

I stare at her, wondering how on Earth I thought it was smart to put myself in such a position. How I'd gotten in so far over my head, and no matter how hard I clawed, I couldn't get out. The worst of it was that Everly was miserable enough that she was about to storm out of here, and I can't deal with any of this right now.

I have the urge to throw something, preferably my tablet, right at the wall. I'd love the satisfaction of watching it burst into a million pieces, freeing me from the demands that just won't stop. But since I need the tablet, and I doubt Everly would be impressed with me launching it past her head, I stalk away from her.

I leave in a huff, my own plate long forgotten as I storm into my bedroom. Everly follows right behind me, and she stops in the doorway at the same time I do. We stand there staring at each other, both stuck in place; I can't quite wipe the snarl off my face at her thinking I'd chosen my work over her, and she can't quite shrug off the disappointment that's plain as day.

"I'm going to go eat with Tris." She announces, and she sounds defiantly angry. "I'll be back when I'm done."

"No, you aren't." I bark the words at her before I can stop myself.

"Yes, I am." She insists, and she shakes her head. "You can do your work. We'll eat together whenever. Maybe next month if you can pencil me in."

"No." I answer loudly, and my frustration wins out. I've missed her, and judging by tonight, she's missed me. At least, I think that's what's going on. But I don't know how else to fix this situation without spending a million hours explaining why I have so much to do, so I reach for Everly and yank her right up against me. I can tell she's not at all expecting it. I walk her back until she hits the bed, and I push her backward. She lands with a yelp, and I lunge for her like a wild animal.

I lose it.

I grasp the bottom of her shirt and yank it up and over her head. I'm rewarded with the sight of her pale skin contrasting against the dark fabric of her bra. I'd like to stay and linger, taking in the curve of her breasts, the way her skin flushes with anger or lust, and the way she shoves her hair out of her eyes.

But I have no time for that.

"Eric!"

I ignore her. I rip my own shirt off over my head, tossing it to the side without looking. I kneel over her, pushing her back into the pile of pillows, pleased when she reaches for me. My mouth meets hers willingly, and I focus only on how this feels. She's warm, her skin flush against mine, and her legs wrap around me.

And I have to admit, it feels far better than reading Jeanine's emails.

I rise up to undo my belt. Once I'm satisfied, I work her leggings down along with my pants, and I'm suddenly grateful she never seems to wear actual clothes. I kick them out of the way, returning to focus on her skin. I push her head to the side, until her neck is exposed. I sink my teeth in, enjoying the way she groans, and I find myself determined to leave a reminder of just where my focus is.

"You aren't going anywhere."

I work my way down, and one of her hands rises up to slide into my hair. She works to hold on to the short strands, and she pushes her hips up when I push mine down into hers. Her head presses back into the pillows as I break away from her and recline back.

I forget that minutes ago, she was furious that my phone was beeping.

I work quickly before she can remember.

I reach for the straps of her bra, the flimsy material far more sheer than I'd realized, and she sits up so I can undo the clasp. I immediately push her back down, her eyes big and her skin flushing with every breath, and I resume what I was doing. I yank her underwear off, giving her a few points for choosing something other than pink or pinker.

"Eric."

She says my name again, and this time, there is no real anger behind it. Only frustration that I'm not touching her, and a longing that I understand. I push her legs apart, pushing up to kiss her lips quickly, then I work my way down. I don't take as much time as I'd like, because really, I want to lose myself in her, all while simultaneously reminding her that I'm simply doing my best here.

I kiss her skin erratically. Down her sternum, my hands lingering as they trail over her breasts, squeezing when she groans. I kiss her ribs, her stomach, her hip bone, and I bite the inside of her thigh when she shivers.

"I told you I'm trying to keep you safe." I try to remind her nicely.

"I know."

Everly sighs. Her exhale is slow and wanton, and her fingers gently tug my head upward. If she's assuming she knows what I'm doing, she's right.

I lick slowly, enjoying the taste of her just as much as I did the first time. I find great satisfaction in knowing I am the only one who's ever done this to her. I know exactly what she likes, and just what will make her groan.

And Everly reacts just like I'd prefer; she isn't quiet. She gasps my name, and her fingers dig into my hair.

"Ohhh."

Everly tightens her legs around me. Her hips jerk forward as I suck on her swollen clit, unable to stop myself. It was clear I'd never fucked her in any aspect, but this was far more intimate than anything else. She trusts me, her hands pulling on my hair and her thighs shaking, and that is far more important than anything. I shift forward, one of my hands bracing her thigh, and I suddenly realize I'm painfully hard. I break away from her with a slow, reluctant stroke, and her breathing is erratic when I sit up.

I rise up on my knees, and I reach down to stroke my erection. It does little to ease the throbbing, but the sight of her before me, completely naked and wet, is enough to make me keep going. Especially the way Everly watches, her eyes following my hand, and she groans when I twist my hand faster. I'd never once jerked off in front of Ashley, but I'd be just fine doing this in front of Everly.

She has other plans.

She leans up to reach for me, mumbling 'you' as she tries to pull me back to her.

I oblige.

I slide my boxers off, and a moment later, I push inside of her. She is small beneath me, but she's all I can feel as she clings to me. I get lost for a second, the warm slickness all I can focus on, and she feels overwhelmingly good. Which is great. Mind-blowingly great. But I flash back to her telling me she's leaving, and it spurs me on all over again. I grab one of her wrists, and I pin it up above her head. She doesn't seem to mind. She lets out a soft, breathy moan, and I thrust into her harder, thinking of how lucky and smart I am that I married her.

Everly Coulter is my wife.

She is the only one I want to share this with. She is the only one I want in my bed, gasping my name, as she comes until she can't see straight. I am more determined than ever to keep her not just alive, but with me. Forget worrying about if she loved me or if I loved her. Forget living in fear that my life would come crashing down because of Jeanine. Forget that Harrison was off stalking a mythical creature instead of doing his job and I'd had to pick up the slack all week.

Everly is mine just as much as I am hers.

She is still mine more though. I wasn't going to let her duck out because things got tough, no. We were going to get through this, just like the two of us had gotten through everything that lead up to this moment.

"Everlyyyy."

I groan her name, and I realize she's just as close as I am. Her free hand is clinging to my neck, and her nails dig into my skin. She's frantic, her hips pushing up to meet mine, and she bites her lip when I kiss her quickly. I let my forehead rest against hers, and the urge to come first is right there. I'm so close I don't think I'll last, but I don't want this to be over.

Not yet.

I pull her up until she's sitting, then I pull out of her. Her protest is immediate. Her no is whined at the loss of contact, and she sighs in relief when she realizes I'm pulling her on top of me. For a moment, she hovers there, balanced on her knees before I slam her down onto me. I hold onto her tightly, one of my hands in her hair, pulling her toward me.

"I've missed you, you know."

I linger as I hiss the words, hoping she'll be satisfied with that little confession. I watch as she bites down on her lip and looks right at me. After a moment, she nods her head, and I pull her closer, until there is no space between us. Her expression is relieved, but just as impatient as my own. I smirk against her lips, kissing her roughly, noticing the exact moment she tenses up around me. The sensation never gets old; everything inside me rises up, my organs feeling like they could explode along with every cell of my body.

All it takes is Everly groaning as her hips work forward, and she comes easily. I don't think I'll ever tire of the way she collapses against me. The way her whole body pulses forward, nails digging into my skin and her eyes closing. Knowing that no one in Dauntless has ever seen such a lovely sight, and they never will.

I come right after her, tensing up until I feel high off the release I'd been searching for. Everything falls away: the shitty day, the shitty weeks, the time away from her. There is nothing but my hands on her, one tangled in her hair, the other on her hip. I lean back, keeping her on top of me, and at some point, I slide out of her when she moves. She rests her head on my chest as she slowly comes back to awareness, and one of her hands rests on my abdomen. Her breathing eventually slows down, returning to normal, or even slower- as the sleepiness washes over. I should sit up and have her finish dinner. Find some dessert. Finish out the evening and return to bed at a normal time.

Everly digs her fingers into my skin, and her head presses into my chest before I can move. I feel her shift slightly, and when she finally speaks, it's soft and gentle and everything I've never wanted until now.

"You could have just told me how you felt."

I huff in response, because I did tell her, I just went about it a different way than most.

 

 

 

A few days later, Everly destroys the toaster.

She calls in a panic, interrupting my doing absolutely nothing other than watching Jason see how many grapes he can stuff in his mouth.

"I don't know what happened. The thing just…it made a weird noise and the knob broke and I couldn't get the toast out…and then Max. I should have just hung up but I didn't!"

I halfway listen to her. It's not that her tale isn't fascinating; there's some major panic behind her voice, not just that she broke my prized toaster, but that she had told Max she missed him as he ended their call.

"I don't think I really need this phone. I forgot I wasn't talking to you."

"Eleven." Jason announces, his voice garbled by the grapes.

"Keep going." I wave at him, and I prop my feet up on my desk. "I don't think Max will care. He'll probably be thrilled someone misses him. I don't think anyone else does."

"Yeah, but Eric…" Her phone cuts out, then cuts back in. "Plus, I don't even want to go with him. He thinks I know more than I do. He asked me how many people lived in Candor and I have no clue. No one gave me the population statistics."

I shrug, even though she can't see me.

"It'll be fine."

"Nineteen." Jason mumbles, and I throw one single grape at his head. He fails to catch it, but he's busy trying not to gag. "Twenteeeth."

"Wait, my phone is beeping, but who would be calling me?" Everly sounds horrified, and I can picture her face at this brand-new technology I'd slapped in her hand. When I'd given her the phone, she'd looked excited. She was impressed with the shiny toy for a few moments. Then it began beeping and dinging, and she looked over it by the time I left for work.

So far, I'd only programmed my own phone number in it, leaving her with the element of surprise when anyone called her.

And they would.

Her name had gone out on an updated phone list for all Leaders, and I'm sure there were a few people who'd make good use of it.

"Alright, I'll see you…later. I have to go take my ID photo now."

Everly sighs, and I start to hang up right as Jason begins to gag. "If you're going to throw up, go in the hallway. Don't do it in here."

He says something incomprehensible, but he refuses to give up. "Blergseth."

"Who are you talking to?"

Everly's confused voice echoes in my office, and I realize I haven't entirely hung up.

"I'll explain later. Bye Everly." I announce, and this time, Jason spits out all the grapes.

"BYE EVERLY."

He shouts so loudly I'm sure the entire floor heard him. I sigh when he throws the rest of his grapes away and asks if I want to go get lunch.

"Why not." I cheerfully answer, not even caring that it's barely ten am.

 

 

 

I recline back against the booth at Clyde's, enjoying the sporadic yet frantic messages from Max. In the span of a few hours of this morning, Everly has also broken her computer. To be fair, she's been assigned a refurbished one that was probably rebuilt by Jason, so there is a high chance it never worked in the first place. But I can feel the resignation as he accepts my advice to just order a new one from Erudite, and I wish him all the best.

He asks what I'm doing, and I very smugly reply that I'm at a work lunch.

He goes silent, and I can bet he's suddenly wishing he hadn't been so adamant about training Everly.

He'd been hellbent on covering more of her training himself. Despite nearly murdering my wife with his negligence, he found her charming. Very sweet. Utterly ambitious. He told me all this over coffee, and I merely nodded. I wasn't sure if he was waiting to see which adjectives I agreed with, but I wasn't about to give in to his sudden obsession with her. I did, however, agree that he could oversee whatever he wanted since I was busy.

But things had quieted down and having Everly work with him gave me a chance to catch up. For the most part, there was a sudden calmness everywhere. I loathed the feeling, because I found it suspicious. Four had mostly stayed put where he belonged- which was out of my sight. Jeremy was busy training, though I found him staring at Tris with a disgustingly torn expression on his face. I could only guess she hadn't slept with him yet, and he was ready to lose his mind over his uptight girlfriend. Rylan was busy both wooing Christina and fending off her sudden obsession with going out every single night. Brittney had finally shown up in his office, and he'd tried to keep a straight face while she explained that Harrison had signed off on all her paperwork and told her to keep up the good work.

And now Harrison was gone, taking a weeklong vacation because he wanted to.

Despite all that, the faction was blissfully quiet.

Even better, it was quiet everywhere.

The factionless had been behaving, which also made me suspicious, but I could appreciate it. We'd learned the man from Jeanine's office was factionless, a failed Candor transfer, and when questioned, he gave a terse, brief statement. He claimed he was drunk when he did it, and he had no real interest in harming Jeanine. He claimed he'd made a mistake and begged to be let go.

No one believed him.

He was still awaiting sentencing, because Jack was involved. He'd been utterly fascinated by the case, and he didn't believe the man's statement one bit. Which meant he wanted a trial. Which meant the man had to be transferred from Dauntless to Candor when we had the time. Jack had been in constant contact with me, and I'd given him full reign to ask the man whatever he pleased, however he pleased. He and I shared a theory that someone had put him up to it, and I was currently awaiting Jack's findings.

Which meant that my time was sort of pleasant again. Everly and I got to stay up late, doing nothing and everything. She watched plenty of shitty documentaries with me, her legs thrown over me, and she read her equally shitty books. We ate dinner together. Went to bed together. I woke her up for work with a great reluctance, mostly because she had to go in and I didn't.

Things felt just fine.

Which lead me to analyze every second of it.

Every look she gave me. Every shift in her mood. The way she sat on the couch. The way her hands always found me, her gaze sweetly skimming over my face, like she was in on some secret I wasn't. A few times I looked away from her stare, mostly because I felt pressured to say something. She had an expectant look to her, never meaning to, but it was there, flitting up when she smiled.

Since giving her the wedding ring, I felt like things had taken a rather serious turn.

I'd found myself defaulting to thinking of her. I held her hand in the hallways while we walked, and I held onto her tightly. I often worried she'd slip again or fall face first down some of the darkest points. I hated the way she laced her shoes, choosing to make them look different rather than practical, and I was constantly waiting for a phone call that she'd broken her neck by tripping over them.

Which meant I held onto her with a death grip, despite the blisteringly curious stares that washed over us. Eyeballs finding our hands in the dimmest of lighting, always zeroing in on any minute speck of affection. I made sure they got it, along with the hint that I'd rip their heads off if they said a single word. What happened between Everly and I was private, even if the wedding bands stated otherwise.

"Hey, what are you ordering? Fajitas? Are you doing anything next week? Any uh, celebrating anything?" Jason breaks my thoughts by slamming the menu down, and I look up slowly.

"We have fajitas? And no, I am not celebrating anything."

"You should consider it. And that's strange. I swore I just read that they started making them." Jason announces, and he leans in to whisper across the table. "Hey, what's the deal with Jack? Why'd he want that guy?"

I don't lean in. I look above him, at the antlers mounted on the wall. "He thinks someone orchestrated this whole thing. Both attacks. Jack believes the factionless are after Jeanine and they're showing us they're ready for a fight. He asked to question the man, and I said sure."

"You believe Jack?" Jason asks, just as suspicious as ever, and I nod. Rylan was already involved but having Jason on board wouldn't be a bad idea.

"I do. I don't have any reason to disagree. The attacks are suspicious and ill planned." I shrug my shoulders and pretend I have to really think about it. "I mean, if someone trained them, they did a shit job. But they're making enough of a scene that Jack noticed. When Rylan and I were there, I made a deal with Jack to protect his faction. He'll back us when the time comes."

"When what times comes? When they start a war?" Jason grins, and he leans back. "I've decided I'm in. I hate those fuckers. I'm always picking up their trash. You think they could at least throw it away."

"They'll start something. It's inevitable." I roll my eyes.

"And you think Jeanine is the one who deserves to be taken out?" Jason furrows his brows together and looks confused. "She's shitty, but can you kill her for that?"

"It's what she's trying to implement. Her ideas about the Divergents. She's getting a little too ahead of herself trying to find them. I think the factionless are sick of her for making and keeping them factionless. They're fighting a separate agenda over there."

"I see." Jason nods and waves Lucy over. "So when you combine that, she's at fault for both."

"Yep. Jack thinks she'll fuck up and it'll get out. He's thinking it'll be me who takes Jeanine down." I casually announce the words to him, awaiting his reaction. Jack didn't quite say it that way, but close enough. He and I both knew I could get close enough to Jeanine without her suspecting anything, and really, who else would it be? It's not like someone was about to volunteer when the time came.

"Yeah, I could see that." Jason answers just as easily. "She might be related to you, but she's a nightmare. You really think you'd do it? Could you do it? How would you do it?"

I shrug.

"I'd make sure I had enough proof that she was committing crimes against the other factions. I can't just walk in there and kill her because I feel like it." I point out, and Jason shakes his head.

"No, but I wish you could. I can't stand her. She's always staring at me like I'm slime." He pauses and looks right at me. "Has she asked you to leave Everly? Is that where this is coming from?"

"No." I close my own menu, and Lucy takes three slow, sulking steps toward our table. "But at some point, things will go wrong and she'll blame her."

"Good luck, man. I kinda like the peanut. I would hate for something to happen."

"It won't." I answer firmly, and Lucy cocks her head, as always, listening the best she can.

 

 

 

Everly stands before me, looking defeated. She reluctantly hands over the ID card, and even I can't stop myself from laughing.

My wife, who is the prettiest and loveliest person to ever set foot in Dauntless, has managed to take the world's worst ID photo. I stare at it a second time, the creature on the card far from the girl who climbed into my bed at night, and I nearly drop my coffee cup.

She scowls right at me, her expression dark.

I smile back at her.

"Wow, you look hideous."

"Eric!" Her tiny hands ball into fists like she's about to punch me, and it makes me laugh even harder. The photo is bad, but luckily for her, it's also unrecognizable enough that she won't be able to use it.

I hand it back to her, thinking maybe I should save it for blackmail.

"We'll go get another one tomorrow. I know the guy who does them." I brush her hair out of her eyes, and she's still scowling. "It's ok. I still think you're pretty."

She's hardly pacified by my words, but at the very least her lips turn up. She shoves the ID back in her pocket, and I find myself laughing any time I think of that photo, for the rest of the day.

 

 

Four reluctantly walks into my office.

I look up to acknowledge his existence, then wave for him to sit down. I listen to Jack finish telling me what he'd found, which confirmed a lot of things. Things I didn't quite have the time for, but I would have to make time.

The factionless man had told him that someone named Evelyn had sent him to Jeanine, and his orders were to kill her. He failed when her security team became suspicious of what he was doing, but if they hadn't, he'd have shot her right in the head and returned back to the factionless to celebrate his triumph. He was proud he'd been selected, and he'd do it all over again because he claimed it was better than standing for nothing.

"What do you recommend I do with him? I have my own ideas, but the final decision is up to Dauntless." Jack sounds calm, but there's the slightest trace of displeasure in his voice. This whole scenario, this man vocalizing an uproar that was growing, wasn't part of Jack's neat plans. He'd been banking on Jeanine fucking this up for herself, and now she had the perfect chance to show how she was the victim. He knew she'd play it up, forcing stricter security measures wherever she could, pushing her agenda under the guise of her own safety, and ultimately, making it hard for us to get anything past her.

I just had no clue Jack was so eagerly awaiting her downfall.

"I'll arrange for a team to come and get him. We'll see if he wants to share anything with us. Otherwise, per protocol, he'll be executed for attempting to end the life of a Leader. Attempted murder isn't something we overlook, especially if it was targeting…" I pause, knowing the number two traitor is sitting in my office. "I'll have him picked up tonight."

"Alright," Jack agrees slowly. "Eric, while I know you can do something with what I shared, this news isn't something I was hoping for. There's an unrest amongst these people. They believe…"

"They believe the system is wrong. Yes, I know. It's obvious they're becoming restless." I answer, and Four watches me carefully. He toys with the papers in his hands, and I gesture for him to give them to me. They are his training plans with Everly, and if my wife is about to spend time learning from him, it better be what I approve. He hadn't been happy I'd demanded he bring them in here, but he did it, because he knew he was on thin ice. "The factionless are a problem I'll be happy to fix. One way or another."

I look right at Four, and even he can't hide the slight flinch in his posture.

 

 

Everly seems pleased.

She brings home the training papers with her, and I pretend I hadn't seen them hours ago.

I wave her off as well, because every time she says 'Four', it gives me a stabbing pain in the side of my head.

 

 

A few days later, the blonde one, Everly's biggest fan, stands before us grinning. Next to me are Rylan and Jason, both also grinning. I'd told them to show up and look presentable. I would have called Harrison back in from his vacation to make this look even more official, but I decided against it. Instead, I made Max actually show up, and Tori as well.

Karl beams when he is offered the position of Patrol Leader. After a decent amount of time working as a routine patrolman, this promotion is important, and he knows it. The opening was created after my talk with Jack, and I'd decided that it was time we expanded our army. It felt like the right thing to do, especially now. We might as well take advantage of every soldier we could, and after creating a few new teams, I knew they'd need someone in charge. Someone other than Peter.

Karl, despite my initial dislike of him, would do just fine.

He had breezed his way through initiation, and had I overseen his training, he would have been the complete, ultimate killing machine. Because he had been in Four's class, he was still as cheerful as ever.

I could overlook that.

He was tall and strong, intimidating for most to look at, and clean cut. He reminded me of a lesser version of myself, just as ambitious, but a little clueless as to what to do about it. I can tell he'll do a good job, because the threat of letting me down would be devastating to him.

He takes the risk. Karl accepts the job willingly, his face lighting up, and I shake his hand. Rylan and Jason follow suit, followed by Max and Tori. He leaves with a grin on his face, off to get new keycards and a permanent assigned weapon, and I can't help the odd, slithery feeling that something was about to go wrong.

I can't shake it for the rest of the day, not even when I head home to Everly.

For once, I hope I'm wrong.

 

 

 

Of course, she is not thrilled for her friend. Not one bit.

"Won't that put Karl right on Jeanine's radar?" She's sitting on my lap, and I'm doing my best to look around her. She'd been marking off the days until she could ask me things, and while she still had a few to go, she wasn't wasting any time. She used every opportunity to sneak them in, and I used every opportunity to ignore her.

"Eric?"

She says my name impatiently, glancing back quickly. I raise both eyebrows to show my feigned annoyance, and I swat her hair out of the way when the remote won't work. I aim it over her, but she leans in blocking my way.

"I thought you wanted to watch this movie." I try to move, aiming the remote elsewhere, and I feel a rush of satisfaction when the movie begins. "You picked it out."

"Don't ignore my question." She sounds threatening, but her posture is anything but. She'd been lounging on me ever since we got home, and she was thrilled we were already in bed. She was even more thrilled she'd found what I'd been hoping she'd never find: the movie version of her books. I had groaned out loud when she held them up, her eyes bright and her smile wide. As endearing as the sight was, I tried to convince her otherwise. I pointed out that the movies were long, very long in fact, and there was a high chance she'd fall asleep before anything actually happened.

She ignored me.

"Your movie is starting." I announce when she elbows me, and I halfway attempt to shove her off me.

She doesn't move, but I didn't try very hard. She shakes her head, and I get an eyeful of her hair as she pushes herself back into me. "I don't want him to get hurt, Eric."

I could gag.

Her concern is very nice, except there is a high chance he'd already have gotten hurt by patrolling through the shittiest parts of the city. Being a patrol leader won't be any different. He's simply responsible for those around him now. "He won't. That's why I put him there. He'll be too busy with his new position to be too focused on anything else. Plus Jeanine's been off track lately."

"Why?" She's curious, but her attention flits back to the TV as the opening credits begin.

I internally debate not telling her too much. "She's had a few setbacks with her serums." My words are mostly true. There has been a silent resistance to her new serums, and she's picking up on it. On top of the fact that someone arrived in Dauntless to blurt out her plans to distribute them, and not too mention, she was attacked in her own office.

But Everly is smart, and she picks up what I'm hinting at.

"That factionless man?" She asks quietly, and I sigh in response. "Why did he come up to Dauntless?"

I shrug, and yank the hair tie out of her hair. A second later, her hair falls out everywhere, spilling down her shoulders and mostly in my face. "I think someone sent him up there. But I can't figure out why." I nudge her and point at the screen. "Oh look, there's a flying motorcycle. I bet you didn't see any of those in Amity."

"You don't have any of those in Dauntless and stop trying to distract me." Everly wiggles herself back, sulking against me. The feeling is pleasant, and if she wants to watch her movie, she better stop.

"Oh, I'm distracting?" I reach for her waist, and I tighten my grip on her. She looks right at me, and I realize my mistake a second too late.

"Eric did you tell Arlene you wanted to have a baby with me?"

I stare at her. Her own stare is unwavering; her gaze is locked on mine, waiting for me to respond even though she's got a thousand more days to go before I answer her questions. I blink, and she leans in closer, looking up at me.

I scowl at her, having thought we were long past Arlene's running commentary. "That's it. You aren't allowed to be on top of me anymore." I move to push her off me, and she protests loudly.

"Wait! No! What are you talking about?"

Everly Coulter pretends she's very innocent. Her eyes widen, and she chews on her lip.

"Every time you want to ask me something, something you know I won't want to answer or I'm not going to answer, you crawl into my lap and bat your eyelashes at me and it's not working this time." I shake my head no. I may have been fooled once. Maybe twice. The third time was because I wasn't about to turn her down while she shoved my hands down her underwear. But this time, I refuse to let her win.

"I thought you liked me on top." She continues to pretend she hasn't spent half her time here trying to get me into bed. I give her one final, sharp glare, then I easily knock her off my lap. She lands gracelessly, huffing as she moves to fix her ugly and all too revealing nightgown.

"Well from now on you get to be on the bottom." I refuse to look at her. In fact, I move away from her, mentally congratulating her on keeping her spot as Dauntless' number one traitor. I cross my arms over my chest and stare at the boy who should have died until my eyes blur.

"Ok, but did you? Tell Arlene that?' Everly asks again, but this time, she's quiet. Her voice is very even, not at all like the time she came rushing into my office.

I keep staring at the TV, wishing Arlene would get cursed into another dimension.

"I didn't say that I wanted to have a baby." I snap and Everly blinks in an annoyingly attractive manner. "I didn't answer her question and she interpreted it her own way."

"So you told her by not telling her." She comes to this brilliant conclusion on her own, looking pleased instead of livid that someone had suggested such a thing.

"No." I answer slowly. "That's not what I said."

She keeps looking at me, completely unconvinced. "Okay, but Eric…"

"We aren't talking about this anymore."

"Wait!" She protests and I shake my head no for the thousandth time. I'd already come to terms with the fact that her being pregnant wouldn't be anything good for either of us, and I'd reminded myself I didn't want that sort of family.

"No. And it hasn't even been two and a half weeks. So no more questions, Amity."

She turns sulky real quick. She crosses her arms over her chest and looks rather put out as she slumps next to me. "That's really mean."

"It's hardly mean. Mean would be me telling you that Dumbledore dies in the sixth book."

Her eyes widen immediately and her jaw drops. I relish in ruining one of the biggest plot twists in the whole series, even if it meant admitting I'd skimmed ahead so I'd know what she was reading.

"Now watch your movie."

She does, but at some point, she winds up back on my chest, her fingers curling in while I twist her hair around my fingers.

We don't watch Dumbledore die tonight, and it feels sort of unfortunate that eventually, we will.

 

 

In the morning, Daniel calls while I comb my hair.

I pick up the phone, watching Everly climb out of bed looking half asleep after forcing herself to stay awake for the whole movie, and I answer him in a bored tone. "Yes."

"Hey, Eric! Good morning! I'm surprised you picked up. I was hoping you wouldn't be at work yet."

I roll my eyes at the mirror, and I go back to parting my hair to the side. I make sure it's even, and I realize he's talking and I'm not at all listening.

"What? I missed that. Shitty connection." I lie, and this time, I pick up the phone and walk out into the living room. I hear Everly crash into something behind me, swearing as she heads into the bathroom to take a shower.

"I just wanted to call and say Happy Birthday. I was hoping I'd catch you at a good time. I was thinking maybe I could come by for a drink. Don't say no just yet. I just…I know you're…busy, but I have to come down and see Arlene and I thought if you were there..."

I stare at my couch and I suddenly hate him more than ever.

In my entire life, he'd made it to a handful of the birthdays that were planned by Blythe only to show what a happy family we were. She had been able to play it off for a while, but eventually, I resented her to the point where it was hard to hide. Even worse, there were a few years where the sting of disappointment when Daniel didn't make it home in time was painfully disappointing, and I quickly learned to pretend it didn't matter. He didn't matter. No one would make me feel like shit, especially not him.

But right now, this wasn't any better.

"Eric? Are you and Everly doing something today? I could stop by and-"

"It's next Friday." I snarl into the phone and I shut my eyes. At this point in my life, he shouldn't bother me. Not at all. I'd long written him off, and I'd vowed to never let someone have any sort of power over me.

"Wait…what?" Daniel fumbles with something, and I can hear him frantically flipping through his planner. I grow furious, realizing I've never been anything more than a note on his list of things to cross off. "No, that's not right. I made sure-"

"It's not today. But thanks for calling."

I hang up on him, and I throw the phone at the couch as hard as I can.

It takes me a long time to calm down, and it's only when Everly emerges from the bedroom, her dark hair pulled up and a smile on her face, do I finally unclench my fists. I reach for her, causing her to trip over her own bare feet, and I yank her against me. She immediately wraps her arms around me, holding on tightly for no reason other than I wanted her to, and I vow to never ever let Daniel see her.

He'll only disappoint her as well.


	23. Eric's Birthday Weekend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to Bamberlee for editing this chapter!
> 
> Gracias to everyone who patiently waited during Fall Break. I'm so bummed it's back to school and back to work!
> 
> And finally, a huge thank you for reading & reviewing! :)

My birthday arrives without much fanfare.

I wake up to a dark apartment, my eyes opening far earlier than they need to, and Everly against my chest. I take a second to blink away the sleep lingering there, and I tighten my grip around her waist, feeling the warmth coming from her, and the long, tangly strands of her hair that are stuck beneath my arm. I try to move slightly, but it's enough to wake her up. She groans and yanks her hair away from me.

"It's too early." She mumbles against my skin, and I smirk down at her. She pulls the covers back up and over us, and nudges my leg. "Go back to bed."

"I will." I idly promise her, and I let myself enjoy this moment. The weight of her on me, the feel of her bare skin against mine. The fact that this is my wife with her arm thrown over me, and her legs twisted through mine. For once, this day hasn't filled me with rage and I toy with the idea that maybe I should tell her today is my birthday. It wouldn't be entirely awful to share that information with her. Her fingers dig into my skin and I immediately decide against it. I have no reason to celebrate being another year older, and she has no reason to want to celebrate it.

In the grand scheme of things, she's the only one of any real importance to me and having her here is enough.

 

 

 

I spend the morning avoiding Jason and Rylan.

They are both fixated on 'doing something' for my birthday, when really- I'd like to do nothing less than to celebrate. They are both aware of my aversion to celebrating such a trivial thing, and when Rylan brought it up just to see if I'd suddenly changed my mind, I accidentally let it slip that Daniel had called a week early.

His expression was similar to mine. He looked visibly bothered, then annoyed.

"How did he forget that? Did he call you today?" Rylan had thrown me an oddly sympathetic look when I shook my head no, like I had some great relationship with Daniel that would now be fractured by this mistake.

I'd let it go.

Not really. I would hold this grudge forever, because why not. It was all the more proof that his attempts to call me were to pacify his own guilt and I had decided to stop indulging him. Last week, I'd set his phone calls to go to voicemail, and I'd unblocked Arlene just long enough to tell her I'd approve whatever she wanted so long as Daniel never set foot in here again. I didn't read her reply because I immediately reblocked her as soon as I was done.

But all these events left Rylan on some mission to smooth things over, and Jason followed right along. They both sat in my office, staring at me in a triangular standoff to please just go have one drink, until I threw my hands in the air.

"I'm not going anywhere. I've got enough paperwork to last me six weeks, I've got Four's shitty training plans that need to be gone through again, and I've got Jeanine, with some crisis calling me every three minutes. I've got Max suddenly very interested in the Amity borders and water usage. And I have you two, doing nothing. So thank you, but I'll pass on getting wasted at Clyde's. Or the Pit."

I throw a pointed look at both of them, and they turn guiltily toward one another.

"You could at least just get some fries at Clyde's. Birthday…fries." Jason starts, and I shove my chair back violently.

"No. Get out of my office. I'll be working all day and I'm not even supposed to be here."

"Fine." Rylan pretends to look wounded, and he shrugs. "We'll eat without you. We really wanted to see if you wanted to get lunch since you went with Jason last week and didn't invite me."

"Really." I stare at him like he's insane, and Jason rolls his eyes.

"You were probably banging Christina. We don't keep tabs on what you do all day." He mutters, and Rylan shoots him one dark, unamused look.

"I was. But fine."

"While I appreciate the offer, and really- I do, I have no time for lunch." I announce venomously, and they get the hint that my mood is far from celebratory. I had been off today, until Max realized he was about to be in deep shit when it got out that he had little clue as to where our water came from. "Can one of you take these to Everly on your way out? I have to call Jack. He's only sent a dozen messages and had his assistant call twice."

"I'll do it." Rylan volunteers immediately. "Where is she?"

"At home. She's off today. Like I'm supposed to be." I eye him warily. "She won't know what these are, but I want to ask her a few things about the areas. Just tell her I'll explain when I see her."

Rylan nods and takes the printouts from me. They are satellite maps of Amity, delivered by someone from the control room. They'd been able to use them to print out some of the furthest and least used areas, including the lakes. I had the strong suspicion Everly had never been to any of these places, but it was worth a shot.

"Just give them to her and tell her I'll be home as soon as I can. _Nothing else_." I warn him.

Rylan smiles widely in return, and he mock salutes me. "Will do."

He leaves very enthusiastically, bouncing out the door in a hurry, leaving Jason and I both staring at each other.

"Twenty points says he tells her." Jason offers up, and I shake my head.

"If he knows what's good for him, he'll keep his mouth shut." I announce, and I sit back down. I sigh as I read the latest email, a frantically frustrated message from Max that he can't log into the security system, and I relax somewhat.

It might be my birthday, but things are just like always, and Rylan can't possibly be that stupid.

 

 

In keeping with the tradition of my birthday always being utter garbage, Arlene shows up at lunch time.

She looks disturbing, but it could just be because she's smiling.

"I just came by to say Happy Birthday, Coulter. I hope it's been treating you well."

I look up from my lunch, a sorry excuse for a salad that I'd made Linda grab me, and I sneer at her. "Why are you here?"

"Please." Arlene saunters closer to me and invites herself to take the seat in front of my desk. "I wanted to see what you were doing today. I was shocked to hear there was no big party in your honor. I thought you'd want to gather up the whole faction and live it up?"

"I'd rather die." I answer flatly, and she smiles even wider.

"What did Everly get you?" Arlene rattles on and I shake my head.

"Nothing. I didn't tell her it was my birthday because I don't care."

"Well, I care." Arlene announces brightly. "I thought maybe you'd like to know what I got you."

"I don't." I glare at her, knowing this won't be good. "You can keep it. I'm sure it's horrifying. So, give it to someone else then leave so I can do my work."

She smiles again, and this time, she looks deranged. "Speaking of that, your father called me. He sounded upset. He said he's tried to call you a dozen times but there's no answer."

"I don't get reception in here and I wasn't speaking of him." I smile brightly at her, enjoying the fact that Daniel wasn't having a great day. "You know what? You can tell him I'll call him back never, and to have a good life."

"I heard he messed up when he called to wish you Happy Birthday. Called you on the wrong day. If you ask me, he's under a lot of stress." Arlene causally throws out, and I roll my eyes hard enough that it hurts.

"I'm sure he is."

"Jeanine is pushing him to use the serums in the sedation of his patients. She wants to…experiment a bit. See how it turns out. She thought it was a great way to slip them in without anyone knowing. Daniel wasn't quite on board."

I stab my salad so hard the plastic fork breaks. "Wow. He must be crying himself to sleep at night with all his morals and high standards."

"You're one to talk." Arlene retorts and shrugs her shoulders. "Maybe you should call him. You've been in his exact shoes."

"Maybe I shouldn't." I answer brightly. "I'm sure he's got it under control. If he doesn't, Blythe will."

Arlene looks at me and shakes her head slightly. "I get that you don't like him. But he's trying, you know."

"It's a little late for that." I point out, and I contemplate lobbing the rest of my salad right at her. It wouldn't be a waste considering it tasted horrible anyway. "I can guarantee he'll live even if he never hears from me again."

"Alright." Arlene isn't pleased, but she knows I don't care. "Do whatever you like. But are you really not telling your own wife it's your birthday? I thought out of everyone here, you'd like her to know."

"Why?" I ask, and I take another bite of lettuce that doesn't taste like lettuce. "So she can buy me something with my own points? I don't need her to do that. She and I can celebrate tonight. Away from everyone else."

"Just keep it in your apartment this time." Arlene smirks at me, and I decide I still hate her.

"Maybe. Is Four working tonight?" I raise both eyebrows at her, and she throws something at me. I look down at the neatly wrapped rectangle and I refuse to touch it. "What's in it? Poison?"

"Close." She answers immediately, and winks. "I had your best friend print it out. I think you'll like it."

I eye the present with great hesitation but Arlene's phone rings before I can throw it back at her. She answers quickly, snapping at someone that she'll be right there and to sedate if necessary.

"Someone fell down the stairs again. Fifth one this week. This guy is hysterical because he's about to miss his shift in the shops. You'd think someone was sending these people to this particular area on purpose just so they'll slip."

"Maybe they are." I answer and watch her stand up. She stares at me, and I stare at her, still not opening whatever it is she'd brought. "Thanks for coming by. And for…" I gesture at my desk, and grimace. "This. Whatever this is."

"Open it before you go home. And you're welcome. I was hoping you'd be doing some actual celebrating tonight but I suppose eating in your apartment with your wife is enough."

"It is." I answer quickly, and it's the first non-irritated thing I've said to her. "Good luck down there."

Arlene nods in appreciation, slowly shutting the door behind her as she leaves. I stare at the present on my desk, gingerly touching it with a pen as I wait for it to explode. Out of every person in the faction, she was someone who always gave me a present despite me never telling her it was my birthday. I suppose she felt like she should, even though half the time she hated me just as much as I hated her.

When the gift doesn't explode or make a noise, I unwrap it slowly.

I sit there, a heavy feeling settling over me, as I hold it in my hands, staring until Everly calls and asks if I want to get dinner.

 

 

Clyde's is crowded.

It's no real surprise; it's Friday night, happy hour is in full effect, and most of our members have just ended their shift rotations. I sit in the booth we normally sit at, reading an email from Jack, sort of watching for Everly. I know if Jason or Rylan wandered in here, they'd lose their minds thinking I was celebrating without them. So, on the walk over, I'd told them both Everly had invited me for dinner, and they were oddly supportive and excited for me.

I'd arrived earlier than necessary, because I was sick of sitting in my office. I quickly ordered a very strong drink for myself, and a soda for Everly. I then sat back waiting for her, reading the newest message to pop up.

I can't help but scowl when I read Jack's message. The screen is bright, especially in the dim lighting of the bar, and his words seem extra stark. He'd like to move forward in creating another alliance, this time- with Abnegation. His words make sense on the screen: he thinks the more people we have on our side, the easier it'll be when the time comes to take Jeanine down. But involving others- including a faction that despised the sight of me and would never dare to make waves, is risky.

If this got out, it would hint that our plan had shifted from a simple partnership of convenience, to an active agenda to turn the factions against Jeanine. I quickly type back that I don't think Abnegation will agree to this for a few reasons, but especially not with my name attached to it. Last year, I'd patrolled through there with a particular, personal vengeance. I hadn't been at all civil, and I'd thought lowly of every member I came across. Neither Marcus nor Andrew would willingly want to side with me, and this might blow up in my face if an attempt was made.

Luckily, Jack's response seems to agree. His immediate reply is understanding, until he mentions Johanna. I glare at the screen, wondering if he had a life outside of emailing me, and I begin to type. I only write NO, but then I decide I'm done, and he can wait until tomorrow for my answer. Which will still be no.

I look up suddenly, wondering where on Earth Everly is, and when I do, she's right there.

With quite a few people looking at her.

More heads than I'd like are turned to catch a glimpse of her, mostly because they don't see her all that often. Despite being a Leader in training here, she's usually working or at home with me. I can see the rapt fascination as she walks, her dress revealing and sweet, and the pink fabric bright against the darkness of Clyde's.

The very same dress she'd had on the day I met her.

I watch as one member eyes her up and down, and I know what he's seeing. Her dress fits more loosely than before, the neatly tied straps falling down every so often and the skirt hitting above her knees. Her arms and shoulders are bare, her legs are bare, and the dress is soft looking, flimsy enough that I have the urge to rip it right off her. I'd never once found anyone from Amity appealing. They drowned themselves in odd colored fabrics and too many layers of pointless clothing, but this is the exact opposite of that. The dress is almost too delicate for her to be wearing out here, especially with a good chunk of the faction dying to see what she looked like out of her uniform.

This.

She looks just like this, sitting on my bed in a nightgown of similar style, ready to be pulled over her head by me.

She smiles wider when she sees me staring, and I can't help the flash of irritation as the man behind her leans over to get a better view. Everly takes a second to slide into the booth, and not a moment later, she pushes an envelope at me.

It doesn't take much to figure out she knows it's my birthday. She looks up at me, her hair even prettier than normal, and her skin shimmery, and I suddenly realize all this was planned. That she'd worn this dress on purpose, someone had curled her hair, and Rylan is now dead to me.

"Happy Birthday, Eric." She says cheerfully, completely ignoring the dark look on my face.

"Is that what why we're here?" I cock my eyebrow at her, and I glance down at the envelope. I don't know where she even bought such a thing, since our faction wasn't churning out greeting cards. But unlike Arlene's gift, I readily open this one, and I find an almost all black card. I open it, wondering what on Earth she could possibly have written, and I'm rewarded with the sight of her handwriting.

Pretty, flowy letters that spell out all kinds of things.

I read them a few times, the words causing me to feel surprised. It started out normal. She wished me a Happy Birthday, then quickly went on to say she was glad I was her husband. That she was happy we were married, despite her prior mostly joking protest that I'd robbed her of a proposal, and that at the end of the day- there was no one else she'd want as a husband.

She'd signed it prettily; the words 'Love, Everly' written in a mixture of loopy cursive and print right below it all.

I stare at the word love, and I press my lips together in defeat. Her words are sweet. It was nice of her to give me a card, and even nicer that she expressed what appeared to be very honest sentiments. I had only told her I was happy with her when forced, but she had willingly told me she was happy with me, and here again. As much as it pains me to admit it, these words seem too soft for me, meant for someone who'd readily parrot them right back, right down to the part where it said love.

But I still didn't think it was the love I was thinking of.

Everly is by far the kindest person I'd ever met. Even at the lowest and hardest part of her training, her snapping and cranky moods were few and far between. She was never mean or nasty to anyone. Her frustration stemmed purely from me and I learned she was far unlike anyone I'd ever met. I knew what went on between us had transcended from fucking her because I wanted to, to falling for her in the worst way possible.

But I didn't think what she felt was love. She simply felt safe. Happy. Satisfied with how things had turned out, knowing that someone was finally looking out for her. I didn't think that equated the love I was thinking of, the way my heart often felt like it was being wrenched out of my chest, or the way I simply couldn't handle the idea of her being with someone else because that would mean she wasn't with me.

But this is fine.

Especially today.

It was enough, and I'd take it.

"Come here." I put the card down, and I motion for her to come sit by me. She immediately moves over to me, and once she's close enough, I yank her right up against me, making sure there is no space between us. She is cold, her skin chilled because she's wearing a dress in the middle of winter in an underground compound with little heating, and I expect nothing less.

"You didn't have to do anything. I've never bothered to celebrate my birthday before." I tell her, my fingers digging into her side right as Lucy appears. She sets the drinks down while managing to stare at Everly, and her face expresses great displeasure. She stares a second too long, then looks at me like I'm about to drag Everly away and murder her.

"I'll be back to take your order." Lucy loudly announces, giving Everly the opportunity to say something. Maybe yell for help or blink a few times to hint she's being held captive. When she doesn't, Lucy leaves and Everly reaches for her drink. She takes a long swallow, scowling at the dark amber glass in front of me.

"Why don't you celebrate your birthday?" She leans into my chest, and her stare is focused on the bubbles in her drink. She smells good, like shampoo that's better than mine, clean and pretty, and a lot like home. "Birthdays are the best days."

She tilts her head right as I sigh heavily. There's no point in trying to explain the disaster I associated with my birthday. I don't need her suddenly feeling sorry for me, as though I'd been robbed of something because I didn't make a big deal about nothing.

I take a long sip of my drink, mostly stalling for time, and I shrug.

"Just never have. It's just another day, Everly."

She swallows heavily and I can feel her sink against me in embarrassment. I suddenly realize that her giving me such a card is brave on her part, that it might have taken a lot for her to write those words. Maybe she meant them in a way I'd missed. My reaction isn't at all gracious, and I can tell she's second guessing inviting me here.

Which in turn makes me feel like an ass.

I stare down at her dark hair against my chest, the strands blending into my shirt, and I lean my head against hers. The action is cowardly; I want to be closer to her, and I don't want her upset, but I don't quite know what to do with this day.

I feel all over the place, once again.

No one has ever said these things to me, but I've certainly never deserved them.

Or maybe I did.

Maybe just like Everly deserved someone looking out for her, maybe I deserved a moment or two of happiness on my birthday.

"I'm glad I'm celebrating it with you, though." I let myself stay there for a moment. I let go of her, find the ends of her hair and twist them around my fingers. She relaxes until I bend forward, my lips finding the outer edge of her ear. She shivers immediately, pushing herself closer against me.

"Nice dress, Amity."

She immediately smiles. The apprehension is gone, and she turns to look up at me. She looks just as beautiful as she did the first time I met her. Her eye lashes are long and her lips are lush and glossy. I vaguely wondered what would have happened had I given in to her earlier, because despite my horror at realizing she was my initiate, I'd never once truly regretted taking her on.

Lucy appears to take our order, and I have a hard time deciding on what to have for dinner. Eventually, with Everly's fingers digging into my thigh, and her head on my chest, I order for the both of us, and I tell Lucy to hurry the fuck up.

 

 

 

The pink fabric lands on my floor.

I'd taken it off Everly in a hurry. I wasn't gentle, but I didn't have to be. It was my birthday, after all, and Everly wanted to celebrate. Over the fanciest dinner Clyde's had, she had told me about birthdays in Amity. How it was the only day she really enjoyed, being free from her responsibilities and there were usually unlimited desserts. I'd smirked down at her when she said she was happy we'd celebrated with dinner, but I was just getting started.

I watch as she eyes the fabric from my bed, her naked skin taunting me as I lean over her.

"I still remember how much you hated this dress." She grins as she reaches for me, her fingers finding the first button on my shirt.

"I didn't hate your dress." I smirk down at her, her fingers deftly unbuttoning the shirt I'd worn today. I feel fairly smug at the sight of my wife taking my clothes off. "In fact, I thought it would look rather nice on my floor."

Everly laughs right as she undoes the last button. The shirt falls away, and I shrug it off along with the undershirt I'd worn beneath it. I linger while she looks up from beneath her hair, and it's finally my turn to lunge for her. My self control falters at the most opportune time; I kiss her gracelessly, wanting to feel her lips against mine, and I grab a fistful of her hair. I walk her back until she's right up against the bed, and she breaks away somewhat.

"Happy Birthday Eric." She says the words with the utmost sincerity, spoken mostly against my lips. I grin at her, the smile full and slow as I realize this isn't so bad. Today might be a day that I'd despised in the past, but dinner with Everly, and now this- pushing her backward onto the bed I've shared with her for months, it doesn't seem so shitty.

I kiss her over and over, her bare skin only warm once she's beneath me, and I decide I'll celebrate next year, too.

Her fingers touch my hair.

I open my eyes slowly, still tired and not at all ready to get up, and my view is a blur. It takes a second for it to focus, and I realize I'd fallen asleep on top of Everly with my head on her chest. The position should be awkward; she's less than half my size, and I've pinned her down like I was thinking she'd wake up and sneak out in the middle of the night. I blearily remember that I'd given in after the second time I came, early this morning, and I'd collapsed on top of her before I could think twice.

The first time had been what I wanted. To forget everything but the feeling of her and I, because then, I knew just how she felt. There was no way the way she groaned my name or her nails dug into my skin meant anything other than what I'd hoped for. The way her legs wrapped around my waist, and her lips urged me on meant what I couldn't tell her. It felt just right to let her name drawl off my lips, or to hold her against me, my hands roughly shoving her hair off her face just so I could see her.

The second time was nothing like that.

It had been slow, half asleep, but completely and utterly engrossing. Everly had the upper hand, and she knew it. She'd pulled me on top of her, and one of her hands had slid behind my head, tugging me down to kiss her. By far- this had always been the last position I wanted to be in, but with her, it was different. I liked it. Her actions were slow, almost romantic in nature, right up until the moment I blurted out her name in a garbled rush of words. I could have told her anything and everything in that moment, but all I could do was let myself crush her.

I'd rested my head on her chest, and her hand had found my back, just like now. Her fingers skimmed over the years of muscle I'd worked hard to build, and they'd pressed all her secrets right into my skin.

Even now, I close my eyes, and though I should feel slick embarrassment at falling asleep like this, I give in. I fall back asleep in the exact same spot, blaming my birthday – the drinks at the bar, her scandalous dress, and her sweet, soft way in which she tricked me into bed, and I forget why I was ever disappointed.

 

 

 

"You ready for her to leave? I'm sure she's excited to get out for a bit."

On Monday, I hate so much about the person Max is. He's looking at me like I should be jumping for joy that Everly will return to Amity. I want to bark at him that it's not the faction that bothers me: it's who's out there. There is no amount of armor or guards, no matter of ammunition or weaponry that will protect her. Not even him. He's proven he can't keep an eye on her while she's simply walking, and here I am- mulling over the fact that once there, she's a sitting duck. Stuck in a faction whose biggest act of violence is mowing the grass.

They'd be of no help if they were attacked.

"Sure."

I answer him offhandedly, and take a long, slow sip of my coffee. Today, I have no desire to argue with him. Getting riled up over this will only spur him on. He knows I don't want her being sent around to all the factions without me, and since he enjoys making my life miserable, if I prove him right, he'll send her to every faction he can. Multiple times if I piss him off. He'll override my entire program just to prove a point, even though he'd already fucked up.

"Oh, well. Is she…excited to go back to Amity?"

I take my time looking over at him. His expression is utter disappointment, and I can't help but think how much I want to roll my eyes at him and his transparent scheme to piss me off. I'm not giving in to him today, or ever again.

Besides, from what Everly told me, she might be excited to see her friends, but it was doubtful she wanted to return there permanently. Especially when everyone had expected her to.

"Thrilled. I'm sure they'll welcome her with open arms." I finish my coffee, and set it down on his desk. "Enjoy your day. I've got a few meetings myself I need to schedule. Good luck in Amity. Try to make sure she doesn't wind up with a concussion this time."

"Sure." Max answers, and he shuffles through some papers, trying hard to ignore my coffee on his desk. I leave it there, just because I can. "You uh, know that wasn't entirely my fault, right? She slipped."

"That she did." I smile all the way out of his office, thinking of all the things I will schedule. My words aren't a lie. I do have things to do. People to see. Meetings to plan.

I just didn't specify where I was having my meetings.

 

 

Days later, I wake up in a shit mood.

I can't even pretend I'm not pissed off. I watch Everly get ready, her dark hair shiny and bouncy, and her uniform neatly pressed. She ties her boots properly for once, and she looks at me for reassurance that she looks presentable enough to venture out with Max and Jeremy.

I don't give it to her.

She looks fine, sure.

By anyone's standards, she's a great representative from Dauntless. She's cleaner and nicer than any of the people we've sent to meet with Johanna, and she certainly won't cause any issues while they're there. I suppose, if you squint and maybe make up all sorts of things, she might even have an in with Johanna that could speed up the grueling process of using logic to tell Johanna that the surveillance cameras were for her own benefit. But it all means she's leaving for half the day, with men I don't have much confidence in, and short of going along with her like a raving lunatic, there is nothing I can do about it.

I told her I trusted her and now I have to prove it.

I just didn't have to like it.

"So…I have my keycard and my phone." Everly announces to no one, because I'm not listening to her. I'm watching her out of the corner of my eye, internally raging over her leaving. I am pissed I don't have the authority to override all this, but it is mixed with pure, utter, unfounded horror that she might not return. Max's ass would be on the line, so I don't think he is dumb enough to lose her, but you never know.

"Eric."

Everly says my name firmly and I finally look up at her from the laptop I'd been working on. I stare at her uniform, the wedding ring on her finger, and her long hair falling down for once rather than being pulled up.

Oh good.

She's going back to her faction looking nice. There's not a chance in hell that she'll go unnoticed. Especially by her ex-boyfriend.

"Are you leaving?" My words are flat, and I press my lips together. I stare at her fingers again, more specifically, the ring I'd placed there, and I have to work to drag my stare back up to her face.

When I do, Everly smiles brightly. She's working very hard to remain cheerful despite my petulance toward her. "I'll be back this afternoon."

She sounds hopeful.

Her scheduled assignment was blocked out for several hours. They had an hour of travel time, and once in Amity, they would have their meeting and leave. That was it. But Johanna was notorious for giving Dauntless a hard time, especially when she felt we were too invasive, and Max was banking on Everly winning her over. All in all, it wasn't anything out of the ordinary, but it could wind up taking longer than planned. A few hours could mean weeks at the rate my luck was going.

"Maybe even earlier." Everly keeps talking, attempting to reassure me. I can tell she thinks I'm being obnoxious, maybe even overbearing.

But I'm not.

Ever since the night on the roof, where I'd almost come to terms with how I felt, I had looked at her differently. Not just as my trainee, or even a Leader in Training, but as someone who I cared about in a way I couldn't wrap my mind around. No matter how I looked at it, it all came back to her. And without her, I didn't know if any of this had any meaning.

So therefore, my rage is justified. Because now she is heading back to Amity, and I will be here.

Nearly two factions away from her.

Unable to help her if anything happens.

But she doesn't know that. In fact, she's barely uncovered the tip of the iceberg when it came to factional relationships. She knows a few things that could help her survive questioning, but she doesn't know enough if she wound up backed into a corner. But both she and Jeremy were sort of in the dark when it came to the gritty underbelly of what went on behind the scenes, and it wouldn't be until they'd completed the program that they'd be thrown right into the mix.

Her life in Amity wouldn't have shown her that despite accepting all and preaching harmony and kindness, Johanna did not take kindly to us showing up to help her. She also didn't feel she was endangering her faction by letting them flail with minimal technology and security. She was obnoxiously polite at fending off Jeanine. She liked to fall back on the Amity lifestyle and insisted that the addition of such things – like minimal security, a functioning health center, even a central, working computer, were too much for them.

Everly would have no idea the unrest these ideas caused.

She'd just be walking right into them.

"Okay, well I guess I'll go…" She trails off, still talking to no one.

I'm staring her down, and everything in me tenses up. I close the distance between us so I can kiss her, but it's not at all a nice sendoff. It's nearly violent, a display of my jumbled fears and my reluctance to have her be that far away from me, and I dig my hands into her hair.

I think of her last time in Amity.

Her and Landon.

Her and I.

How I'd nearly mauled her in my kitchen shortly thereafter.

I hope she remembers.

I break apart from her quickly, and she does her best to compose herself. She works to slow her breathing, smoothing down her hair while trying to fix what I'd messed up, and she nods her head to signal she's really leaving. I watch her carefully, knowing full well the sight of her will forever be my undoing.

She pushes her hair out of her eyes, and her ring catches the light. It looks large on her small fingers, and I realize it is enough to announce she's the wife of a leader here.

Good.

I hope Landon sees it.

"Just remember you're my wife and you live here."

I hiss the warning not at her, but also right at her. It's unlikely she's forgotten either of those things, but I can't shake the unease from before, and it only worsens when she throws me one long, pretty look and walks out to meet Max.

 

 

I hold my meeting in the control room.

I kick everyone out except Four, and the look on his face tells me he does not appreciate being the chosen one to remain here. He watches Tris leave, and when he turns around, Rylan takes his seat and kicks his feet up, nearly spilling Four's drink. A second later, Harrison sits down next to him. Neither one greets Four, despite him standing right there.

"Why are you in here? You really don't want anyone working right now? Didn't you just send out a security memo discussing how important it is that we're on top of every single thing that happens?" Four looks at me like I've lost it, crossing his arms over his chest as Jason slides his chair all the way down the long line of desks, nearly crashing into Four. "You really want no one working in here?"

"We're good to go. The others are heading down for their breaks. They'll be back at…" Jason pauses dramatically, looking at the watch on his wrist. "Whatever the fuck time o'clock. You told them you needed this room for at least an hour and a half, so I'm assuming sometime before then."

"Great." I answer casually, not giving a fuck if they ever showed back up. "Change these cameras and let's get started."

"What do you need me in here for? You sent all the staff on break before ten am and you want me to what? Help you?" Four raises his eyebrow in disbelief, and I narrow my eyes in disgust.

"It'll be a cold day in hell before I need your help. And you're not on break. Go do your job and monitor the factions."

"All of them?" Four answers flatly, and he stares when I nod. "You want me watching every single camera."

"I do. I guess you better work fast so you don't miss anything."

I'm not looking at him anymore. If I were, I'd have caught the dark, infuriated expression on his face. But I don't. I'm watching Jason pull up the Amity faction, and I smile when it comes into focus.

Ten minutes later, I relax just as Max nearly runs over a cow.

"Holy shit." Rylan gleefully rewinds the feed, and he laughs so hard he nearly falls out of his seat. "Did you see that?"

"Johanna certainly won't be impressed with his driving." I snicker, and I recline back in my seat. I watch as the cow doesn't move, and Max drives around, clearly frustrated at the livestock.

Once Four had gone off to do the job of every single person in here -far, far away from us, we'd pulled up every security camera along the route to Amity. We'd watched them drive along the deserted roads, making sure not a single leaf was out of place, and I realized I was gritting my teeth together by the time they reached the border of Amity.

I wasn't going to watch the whole time.

That's what I told myself.

I had high hopes Everly would be fine, and I was justifying this by labeling it a security threat. I'd flagged the trucks for the patrol routes, and I wanted to make sure my wife came back unharmed. I'd also sent Karl's newest group as close as I could get to the faction without actually having them go there. I was prepared, and I feel smug when I watch Max park the truck. A second later, Everly hops out of it, glancing around at the oddly quiet faction. I watch her look left and right, her gaze lingering over the dilapidated structure that they called stables, and she lags behind when Max and Jeremy walk inside. She then heads into the stables, and I lose sight her.

Great.

"Hey, have you ever asked Everly how many cows they have?" Jason asks, and he spins the chair entirely around. "Even a rough estimate?"

"No. Strangely enough, that topic of conversation has never come up." I answer, and when I look at him, he shrugs.

"Weird. That's the first question I would have asked her if I had been training her."

I shoot him a dirty look.

"Well, I didn't. And I'm not going to. Why don't you count them on the screen while you're here?" I turn around when I realize Harrison is looking at me, and he shakes his head.

"This is gonna take forever. The old cameras don't pick up anything past what we're seeing, and it'll take Johanna hours to decide what she wants to do. I'm gonna go get coffee. You want one?"

"Yeah." I answer, and I slide my seat back. "Actually, I'll go with you."

"Jason? Rylan? You fuckheads want anything?" I wait impatiently. Rylan nods his head, and Jason does, too. "Alright, let's go."

"Are you asking Four if he wants one, too?" Rylan grins, and I turn just enough to see Four clicking through several monitors. He looks sort of sweaty, doing his best to observe all of the screens before they change a millisecond later.

Before I can answer him, Harrison interrupts.

"No. Fuck that guy. He ruins everything."

Jason snorts, but he goes back to counting the cows, and I walk out with Harrison. He swipes his card, and the two of us walk along in amicable silence. Dauntless isn't at all busy today. The cold weather has kept everyone seeking out heat, and the hallways are vacant. Harrison asks a few questions as we near the Pit, and for the first time in a long time, he seems to have a vested interest in the factionless issues. It isn't until we order the coffee does he ask me why I'm so worried about this Everly person and just who invited her to Amity.

I pretend I don't hear him.

But on the walk back, I do listen to his story, a wild ride from start to finish. By the time we reach the control room, I'm not entirely doubtful that Four deleted his footage.

I'm sure of it.

 

 

Harrison's right.

The hour creeps by.

Amity is quiet; nothing really happens, and occasionally, a few people wander in front of the cameras. They all look the same: long hair, long sleeved shirts, worn work boots. Some have children who walk along with them, and I squint at them, wondering why they aren't in school.

I suppose it doesn't matter.

It's unlikely they'll ever leave their faction, especially now.

It looks like it's about to snow again, and I watch what appears to be one of Everly's friends stroll by in nothing but a dress and sweater.

At lunch, Jack calls.

I answer, because I've learned that he doesn't handle rejection well. If I decline his call, he'll only call ten times more. Then he'll text. Email. Send a carrier pigeon. Anything to get my attention because he has something to tell me right then and there.

To prevent any of that, I answer right away, and my lunch sticks in my throat when he speaks.

Turns out, he doesn't need an alliance with Amity. They're working on something all on their own.

"What?" I force myself to swallow the sandwich I'd taken a bite of and I shake my head. "What do you mean? What are they doing?"

"I spoke with Johanna at length. They agree that Jeanine is out of control. They don't want to be tied down with the security systems and tapes and recordings and patrols and they believe she's enforcing all that. They're sick of soldiers walking their faction under the guise of keeping peace. Just last week, Johanna said she had two members stopped and they were forced back into Amity at gun point. Does that sound like something Johanna would be good with? When I asked her why she didn't report it, she said she was working to fix it herself."

"Were they from Dauntless?" I ask, and my brain begins to work frantically to figure out when. I hadn't seen an incident report from Amity in forever, and I hadn't seen any from our soldiers either. This would have been documented and sent to my office, especially if our guards had found reason to force someone back into Amity.

"I believe so. She didn't go into such details with me. But her point is, they believe that rather than bringing the factions together in peace, Jeanine is forcing everyone apart. She wants total control. If people are too scared-"

"Jack," I interrupt, and for once, he goes quiet. "What is Johanna…what is she planning? Is it…did you agree to help her?"

"No." Jack answers firmly, and I hear him walk away, the line falling silent as he weaves in and out to find some quiet. "I won't align myself with the factionless, but she is. She thinks they can take Jeanine down. She let it slip that she'll agree to whatever security measures are asked of her today, then she'll work to eliminate them when she can. She said she knows how to turn the cameras off. She's helping the factionless however she can. Allowing them resources if need be."

"I see."

I answer tightly, and barely register that Jason and Rylan are asking me something. Everything is slowly clicking into place, maybe not the exact perfect pieces, but enough that I have a general idea of what's going on.

There aren't just two sides to this whole thing, but three.

"She has similar ideas to what we discussed. But, I'm much more confident in partnering with Dauntless. I don't personally believe the factionless are in the right. I did however, agree to keep an open communication with her. I told her I'd listen when she needed me to. I can offer her an outside view without any judgement."

I don't bother pointing out he's made plenty of judgements already.

"Did you tell her what you were doing?" I ask slowly, and my stomach tenses up at the thought of Everly in a location full of factionless. "Are they…are they all there now?"

I watch Jason elbow Rylan, and they both turn to look at me. Their expressions are oddly serious, all joking from moments ago suddenly gone.

"Of course not. I called pretending I had a few concerns and I wanted her…thoughts." He pauses, and I can tell it killed him to utter such words. "She's being careful. But I don't know how long that'll work for her."

"Thank you." I tell him, and I reach for my drink. "And not long. She won't be able to hide that secret forever."

"You might be wise to make your presence known there. From what she told me, it's the exact opposite of what she wants."

I'll keep an eye on the faction. Make it a top priority." I answer, and he cuts me off.

"If the factionless were to kill Jeanine, they'd want to take over, wouldn't they? I went back and forth over this. It wouldn't be a terrible scenario to have someone else watching over her, but they won't be conducive to what you and I were thinking."

His words make my head hurt. If anyone were listening, it would sound like he and I were planning to overthrow all the factions for our own benefit.

"I suppose you're wondering who'll get there first." Jack pauses. "The factionless…or you."

I fall silent, and he notices.

"Are you feeling obligated to tell Jeanine? Is that why you're quiet. Because if you do, this negates our deal. I'll make sure she knows-"

"No." I snarl into the phone, and I shake my head. "But I don't have a good feeling about any of this. Any of it."

Jack is quiet, and I hear the gentle, dinging sound of an elevator.

"Me neither."

 

 

 

It's nightfall when Everly returns.

At the end of what feels like the longest day ever, I sit with Jason and Rylan, watching the most recent test results. They're streamed to our computer thanks to Rylan, and despite normally finding them fascinating, this time, I watch with little interest.

"That guy sucks." Jason announces, and I look over to see a nondescript guy with nondescript results walking out the doorway. I suppose I agree; his test results are boring and there's absolutely nothing about him that stands out. He's got a 100 percent loyalty to Candor, and when he shuts the door behind him, even the tech looks bored.

We'd been watching them for a good few hours now. Jason and Rylan loved to bet on who'd make it here, and this gave us a good idea who'd been given Dauntless as a result and who had the guts to follow through with it. They liked to gamble on the odds of them actually coming here, based off their home faction. Test results said a lot about the person, and I like the psychology behind them, but I was busied with the thought that I hadn't checked back on Everly in some time. In fact, forever ago, Jason had mentioned she'd found her friends, and I'd eased up on my surveillance. Karl had radioed that all was quiet, and I was reassured I had no real reason to worry.

But now, I couldn't help but wonder what she was doing. Her plans to come back for an early dinner hadn't exactly panned out.

Jason, Rylan and I had eaten a long lunch and an even longer dinner. I'd talked with Jack once more, still disliking him trying to involve the Amity faction, and we'd returned to the control room just as the staff changed shifts. Harrison left immediately, announcing he'd be in his office, and I'd sat back down in the same spot as before, watching Tris avoid Four like the plague as she stopped to clock out. She'd returned with the rest of them, and she'd been quiet. Every so often she looked our way, like she wanted to say something. I'm sure she'd have loved to tell us it was wrong for us to be watching the results, but she wisely kept her mouth shut.

She's there when I look up again.

Jason nudges my arm, and I look away from watching a kid named Paul flounder until he's awake. I look over my shoulder to find Everly standing there, in different clothes than before. She's gone home to change, and I'm sure she's been looking for me. I feel a wave of relief when I see her, pleased that she's home entirely unharmed.

But she doesn't look happy.

When her eyes find mine, they are large and worried.

I push the chair back away from the desk, and I eye her carefully. For the most part, she looks fine. There's no evidence she's been in Amity, except for the look on her face. Next to her, Tris stares at me, and I do my best to pretend she doesn't exist.

"How was Amity, Amity?"

I expect Everly to react, but her expression is odd. She looks up at me from beneath her hair, and I immediately close the distance between us. I reach for her waist pulling her against my chest, but she shakes her head no. Before I can ask her what's wrong, she rises up on her toes and whispers in my ear.

"I need to talk to you. Alone."

I loosen my grip on her immediately. I suddenly wonder if something happened, or if this was the result of spending too much time with Max. I turn around to find Jason and Rylan watching, and I nod a quick goodbye and a silent warning for the two of them to shut up.

"I'll see you both tomorrow."

They both nod without question. Jason watches us out of the corner of his eye, but he stays quiet. Tris scampers off with one final look at me, and I find Everly's hand. She's freezing, her oversized sweater doing little to keep her warm, and I lace my fingers through hers.

"Did you eat dinner?"

I lead her out of the control room. She walks along quietly, and her grip on my hand is so tight it should hurt. It takes her a minute to answer, but she finally shakes her head.

This isn't like her. Not at all.

I glance down at her, and I realize she's chewing on her lip and her gaze is miles away.

"Okay."

I lead her to the mess hall, deciding we can eat there for a change. It's not so late that I couldn't make something, but I figure this is faster. Luckily for us, it's deserted in here. I pick a random table, and I tell her I'll be right back. I grab two plates of the first few edible items I can find, and I return as quickly as possible.

She's sitting there, but she looks like she doesn't really want to be.

"Are you alright?" I set her plate down in front of her, then slide right up against her. She's still freezing, and I scoot even closer, until her leg touches mine.

"I saw Landon." She blurts the words out, and my reaction is to immediately want to commit murder. I bite my jaw down to prevent myself from saying something unnecessary, but it's impossible to keep my expression neutral. "He just kept talking about how I didn't know who you really are, and how you apparently would get rid of me if need be."

Her words are like one swift, stab right to the stomach. She makes it worse by looking up at me with a rather miserable expression.

"I believe I've made you aware of my desire to keep you safe." I answer flatly. Defensively. But Everly isn't exactly convinced. She sighs and pushes her chicken around her plate half-heartedly.

"I know that." She answers, and she looks right at me. "But then Courtney and Sophia said they went to a meeting with him and there are people planning to kill Jeanine. They said they'll kill anyone working for her and her projects."

Everly pauses, and she's confirming exactly what Jack had told me hours ago.

Normally, this would be of some concern to me. Given the increased appearance of the factionless, and their suddenly brave attempts to rock the boat, I'd think something was up. That they might want a war, one we should be preparing for. But I'm not convinced they'll pull it off. The factionless are weak people who didn't make it anywhere and being enraged over failure doesn't make you a hero. Not even with Four's shitty help.

"You have to understand that Jeanine is a major target. Any one in any of position of power is a target. You'll become one yourself as soon as you become a Leader."

She swallows heavily and sets her fork down. Her posture is defeated, even more so when she speaks. "They also said that you were in charge of Jeanine's project."

My exhale is sharp and quick. I have no reason to lie to her. I'd already clued her in to some of this, but it certainly doesn't sound nice to hear her say it. Even worse, I know where it's leading. "I am. You know that. I told you that."

She stares for a second longer than I want her to. She's biting her lip so hard it should be bleeding, and she doesn't blink. "Eric did you watch my results?"

I look away from her.

I have to.

I can't look my wife right in the eye and lie to her. A few months ago, I would have laughed in her face for daring to ask me such a question, but she's smart, and she's figured a few things out on her own. Things I'd kept away from her, because she didn't need to know them.

"No."

"Why?" She asks, and her voice is tight.

I stare at her. Her big green eyes. Her dark hair. Her fair skin. Her shoulder exposed, just enough that I want to reach over and trace my fingers up the slope of her neck. The bravery that isn't as obvious as her physical features, but it's there, just as important. Maybe more so.

"I only have access to those who received Dauntless as one hundred percent of their test results. Your results were also positive for Amity, but much less so."

She presses her lips together.

"That can't be. I never wanted to stay in Amity."

Everly looks at me, and I feel the dull burn of irritation rising up my throat. I have no good answer for her. I was someone who'd followed these very guidelines right up until the moment she walked into my life. Had it not been for her, I'd still be following them.

If you asked Jeanine, I was still following them.

"I told you, a lot of time people retain loyalty to their faction of origin. It's an unconscious result, and it usually means nothing. Your result was strong enough to show up Amity but weak enough that it was not the main result. Everyone receives the factional result that is strongest suited for them. It's been happening more and more that the results are not one hundred percent."

"And Jeanine thinks anyone who receives a result less than one hundred percent of the faction is a traitor, right?"

She's looking right at me, and unfortunately for her, I can only nod my head yes.

 

 

 

"If she asks you to, are you going to turn me in?"

Her words are spoken with the utmost defeat. She sits on the edge of the bed, looking as miserable as I feel. I suppose most of it is from discovering her husband was the man in charge of finding these factional traitors. I didn't have an explanation that would make her feel any better. I had been in charge of such a project, and I had enjoyed it. For a long time, I believed that I was doing my city a justice. Even now, the factionless were proving me right; these people didn't fit in, and they'd do nothing but destroy what we'd worked to achieve.

But Everly isn't someone I'd ever turn in, no matter what her results were.

She isn't someone trying to destroy the system. She just wanted to be happy. She'd left her old life behind in search of something new. Her three percent was hardly enough to brand her Divergent, and she'd proven over and over that this was where she wanted to be.

"Of course not."

I snap at her, and I stop dead in my tracks. She'd barely touched her dinner, and I'd thrown everything away. We'd walked back in silence, and I suppose somewhere, Four was laughing himself to sleep.

This was it. He was right. She should have stayed away from me. I was the very person he'd warned her about. He didn't know that I'd put off my loyalty to Jeanine because of her, and that I wasn't on her best side right now. I'd chosen Everly over her, keeping Jeanine away from the both of us so I could have this fleeting moment of happiness.

I'd come so far with Everly, and it was about to fall apart because there was no way she'd stay married to someone who had committed such acts of violence.

"I haven't…" I stop, the words sticky and wrong and nearly impossible to say. "I haven't worked for Jeanine in a long time. I mean, I have, yes. Because it's my job. But not doing what she wants. I haven't found anyone she'd consider Divergent since…"

She looks up at me, and her gloomy expression is hard to look at.

"Since I started training you."

I wait for her to leap off the bed in relief, but she simply stares at me. She doesn't move a muscle. She watches me stand there, my uniform still on and my hands balled into fists.

"Everly."

She looks up just enough to make eye contact and she swallows.

"You don't…you don't have a question? There's nothing you want to ask me?" I stare in disbelief that after weeks of never-ending questions, she's now silent.

She shakes her head.

"I don't know what to say. It was a lot to hear from my friends. Landon, he said a bunch of garbage to me. And Sophia and Courtney…they…it's just…what do I do? You work for her. I don't. She already doesn't like me. I know you did things before me, and I can't blame you for that."

"Everly."

"Because I didn't get Dauntless as a perfect test result, I'm someone she doesn't think should exist. How long before she asks you about me?" Everly asks, and her eyes look dark. Not dark like I like, but dark like she might cry.

"No." I answer firmly. "She knows better than to ask me such a thing. She's not looking at you right now. She's looking for total divergence. Rebellion against the system. Not you."

My words do little to reassure her. She nods her head, her hair falling in her face, and I realize with a blind rage that I had done this. It wasn't entirely my fault; I never came up with the guidelines or even the idea, but I had been a part of it.

I can undo it, but it'll be a monumental task.

One I'm willing to take on, if it means Everly will never have that look on her face again.


	24. Love and Other Things, like actual love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who took the time to review and send me your thoughts on the last chapter. I appreciate them all! 
> 
> Just a quick note, there won't be an update next week, but we'll resume the Friday after that. So maybe read this one slowly or wait until next week to read it. I'm sorry in advance! I'll try to make the next chapter extra extra long to make up for it lol:)
> 
> Thanks to Bamberlee for editing this chapter!

My fingers tangle in her hair.

I make sure she's warm beneath me, my head bent down to rest against hers, and I don't bother to pretend I'm not groaning her name as her nails dig into my back.

"Everly."

She sighs, her nails scraping my skin as she grows hot. I had no other way of reassuring her that she was safe. There were no words to tell her what she meant to me, and no eloquent speech to explain that I'd do whatever it took to keep her alive.

The only way to show her how I felt was like this; my body over hers, her legs tightening as she worked to pull me closer, and the feel of how warm and soft she was.

I'd been lost since she arrived back, her expression bleak and her words even bleaker. My cheerful Everly was now afraid, and rightfully so. The things she'd heard were true, and worse, they were occurring even as she spoke them. There was little doubt the factionless were planning to attempt to assassinate Jeanine, and there was little doubt Jeanine would grow sick of my shit.

It was only a battle of which one would happen first.

Which was why telling Everly that no one would ever take her away from me was the best I could do, but this was even better. It wasn't that I wanted to get off or fuck her until I couldn't see straight.

I only wanted to reassure her that she was my highest choice, and she always would be.

 

 

I wake up to an empty bed.

I sit up slowly, looking around in confusion. After attempting to prove to Everly that I wouldn't hand her over if Jeanine asked, Everly had fallen asleep almost immediately, and I'd followed suit. I'd gone to bed with my arm over her, keeping her right against my side, and I'd planned on waking up the same way.

Instead, I'd woken up to nothing. Everly was gone, but her side of the bed was still warm. I notice the sheets are a mess, like she's pushed them back in a hurry, but she isn't anywhere I can see.

I stare at her side of the bed in utter confusion. Which is irritating. I'd grown so used to her sleeping beside me, that her absence feels oddly uncomfortable. I give her a second, thinking maybe I'm dreaming, or she's gone to get a drink, but she doesn't reappear. I give her one more second, and when she doesn't walk back in through the door, I shove the covers off me and climb out of bed.

I can't quite pinpoint what possesses me to go and find her. She's more than welcome to wake up and do whatever she pleased. I wouldn't blame her if she had a hard time sleeping, or if she was still worried over what she'd learned. I'd spent plenty of nights unable to sleep myself.

But something feels off.

In my half-awake state I realize my bathroom light is on and the door isn't entirely closed. I head that way, listening to what sounds like someone sniffling, and it's there that I find her at my sink.

Hunched over, looking downright miserable.

"What are you doing?" I blink, both at her and the bright light.

Everly looks up at me in surprise, but really, I'm more surprised than she is. She looks like she's been crying, really crying, and her eyes are still wet. I've never seen her break down, not even when no one came to visit her, or she told me no one would ever notice if she went missing. Not even when Four tried to kill her, or Max failed to notice she was walking up icy stairs and her head was split open.

She'd held it together this entire time.

Until now.

"Are you crying?" I ask stupidly, because it's clear she is.

I walk over to her, still half asleep, still not sure what I'm seeing. I come to a halt right beside her, and when I reach for her, she's freezing. She stays silent, but her shoulders shake as she works hard to not start crying again.

"Everly, what's wrong?"

She still doesn't answer.

She shakes her head in a weak attempt to shoo me away. Her hair falls in her eyes, and I watch her scrunch her face up as she tries to pretend she's completely fine. I can make all the assumptions in the world, but I would guess this had to do with our talk about Jeanine. I give her a moment to compose herself, but I have a hard time just letting her stand there. I lean in to brush her hair back out of her eyes so I can see her. The action is slow and soft, so as not to startle her, and before I can stop myself, I brush my fingers over her cheeks.

This is the second time in less than twenty-four hours that she's looked ready to fall apart, and the second time in less than twenty-four hours that I feel nauseated.

"I just had a bad dream." Everly finally says something, but her voice struggles to stay strong. She sounds small, and even though she's close to me, she feels miles away.

"A bad dream." I parrot her words back at her, and I squint again when the lighting suddenly feels too bright. I have the urge to drag her out of here, because I feel like I'm the one being interrogated under these lights, but I stay put. "Was I in it?"

Her stare drops down away from me.

So do her shoulders.

I don't need her to say anything else to know the answer is yes.

I sigh heavily, and my hands have found their way to wherever they please. Over her waist, up her side. Digging into her skin to pull her toward me. It takes her minutes to raise her stare back up from the floor, and only then does she meet my gaze.

"Is Jeanine asking you to kill everyone on her list? Are you going to kill everyone that she asks you to?"

Everly asks me this question very quietly, all while reaching for me. I should be embarrassed at how relieved I am when her arms wrap around my waist, and she's the one to step closer. She stays right there, her arms locked tightly around me, and one of my hands finds the small of her back.

I'm reminded of the first time this happened. Down in the infirmary, when Four had the brilliant idea to let his class try to kill her for fun. She'd fallen into me when she stood up, then stayed there like she needed me. At the time, I didn't want her to need me. Especially like that. I'd been uncomfortable at her touching me, but now I can't imagine a life where Everly wasn't pressed up against me.

She takes her time catching her breath. I can feel every inhale and exhale, and she relaxes when I rest my chin on top of her head.

"No."

"Good." Her response is shaky, and I tighten my arms around her. She seems content, but eventually wiggles away to look up at me. "Eric?"

"Is that what you're worried about? That she'll have me kill you? I told you I'd never hurt you. You just have to trust me." My fingers dig into her skin, but she doesn't seem to notice.

She nods her head, and she looks marginally relieved at my words. I hope she is. But I'm tired, it's the middle of the night, and I have little experience dealing with women crying in my bathroom.

"I do trust you, Eric. I just don't trust her."

I frown, sharing the exact same sentiments. "I don't either."

She looks at me for several long moments, then smiles. She rises up on her toes, and before I can make sense of what's happening, she presses her lips to mine. It's brief, but necessary. She breaks away far sooner than I'd like, but she no longer looks quite so devastated.

"Thank you."

I feel an entire lifetime behind. I shrug my shoulders, glad she's alright, and my brain reminds me that both of us should be sleeping.

"Can we go back to bed now? All this talk about murder can wait till the morning." I don't bother to see if she answers. I'll murder whoever she wants, whenever she wants, so long as she agrees to go back to bed. I dislike her thinking I'd ever harm her, and eventually, I'll have to find a significant way to prove to her that I won't.

But for now, we're going to sleep.

I reach for her waist and pick her up easily. Everly responds just as I'd hoped; she wraps her legs around my waist, and her head drops down to rest on my shoulder. She seems to be less worked up now, pacified by my words. I carry her back to my bedroom, and I set her down where she normally sleeps.

I half expect her to say something, but she doesn't. She watches me walk around the bed, her eyes never leaving me, not even in the dark. Once I've climbed in beside her, her head finds my chest and her arm is thrown over me. She's still cold, but I can fix that. I adjust us together, making sure Everly isn't being crushed by me, and I don't relax until I'm sure she'll fall back asleep without any further worry.

It doesn't take long at all before her breathing slows down considerably and her eyes shut. Her fingers curl against my chest, and I hope she doesn't have the same dream again.

"Goodnight Amity."

I doubt she hears me. She's fast asleep, her terrible dream hopefully long forgotten.

 

 

In the morning, she looks much better.

Gone is the worry and the shaky voice, and she smiles when she hands me my breakfast. I smile back when my fingers touch hers, and I kindly take a bite of whatever she's made.

It's supposed to be toast, but I'm not sure she knows the toaster isn't fixed yet.

I don't tell her.

I kiss her goodbye, holding on tightly to the sides of her jacket, until Everly's cheeks are pink.

 

 

 

Jack's latest email is cc'd to not only his assistants, but the entire leadership of Dauntless. For a quick second, I'm ready to rip him a new one, but I calm down when I realize he's replying to something Max sent him.

I rubbed my hands over my face and I had to admit that maybe, just maybe, I was starting to feel the pressure weighing down on me.

His email was the first I'd read, but it's followed by Jeanine's. With this newest round of initiation starting, she wanted us to focus on the hunt of finding those who had incomplete, edited, or imperfect test results. She believed so firmly in the aptitude test, that in her mind, those inconsistencies were the best indicators. The first signs of Divergence.

Her email was only to me, but it came along with a list of names that she and Ashley had gone over, and I smirked at the thought that Ashley had to sit and watch the test results just like I had. Except I wasn't pouring over them for any reason other than to make bets. But Ashley would have been bored out of her skull, comparing a list of results with recorded footage to make sure it matched. My smirk slipped a little when Jeanine hinted that if she didn't have some results soon, there would be consequences. She went on to say she was basically handing me the answers, and it was up to me to procure as many as I could.

I don't respond to it.

I don't have anything to say to her.

Her criteria is off, and so are the names she'd sent me. The inconsistencies were there, true. But their results were the lowest of low, and she'd bypassed names that should have been higher on her list. I knew where this was heading, and I wasn't pleased. For a few moments, I mentally debate pointing this out, because there was a good reason she was doing it, but bringing it up wouldn't be wise.

Not yet. I have to be smart about this and pissing her off early in the day wasn't on my agenda.

Neither was dealing with Jeremy's sudden interruption or Everly's pleading stare.

They both arrive in my office in a whirlwind. Everly had stopped in to bring me coffee, and Jeremy had stopped in because he could. I look up to see Everly walking through my doorway, her expression rather put out as Jeremy trails in after her. She heads straight for my desk, and he follows right along. He walks close to her, far closer than he should, and he looks like he's afraid to let her out of his sight. Maybe he is.

What he's not afraid of, is staring at the card on my desk.

My birthday card.

The one she'd given me at Clyde's. No one had ever given me a card before, so I had no clue what I was supposed to do with it. Did she expect me to display it in my apartment? Keep it for years to come? In a strange moment of uncertainty, I'd brought it along with me. I'd mentally played it off like it was nothing. I didn't want to leave it in my apartment where it would get tossed onto the counter or thrown out. I'd grabbed it when I grabbed my jacket, and I'd decided it would be fine on my desk. The card wasn't obnoxious or anything that warranted anyone's attention but mine, and it was unlikely anyone would be in here to see it.

It would also be over my dead body that someone picked it up and read it.

But Jeremy is staring at it like it's the answer to every single question he's ever had. His eyes are fixed on it, doing their best to read her loopy handwriting even though he can't see all of it from his angle. When he gives up, his eyes narrowing in frustration, he turns to Everly and loudly suggests they read up on factional resourcing.

In response, Everly throws me one very pleading look.

I keep typing, raising one eyebrow at her.

I could help her. I could tell him to get the fuck out of my office and never return. I could give in to my wife's miserable stare, pulling her onto my lap and deciding we were both done working for the day. But I don't. I watch with amusement as Jeremy steps even closer to her, tugging on her sleeve like a child when she doesn't budge.

My email dings again, and this time- Jack tells me to call him as soon as possible.

"I guess we'll go…" Everly trails off, right as I type 'two minutes' to Jack. This newfound alliance was starting to become the bane of my existence. He was a smart motherfucker, and I could appreciate that. I just couldn't appreciate anyone being able to manipulate me, and that's exactly what he was doing.

"Bye ERIC."

This time, Everly says my name darkly, figuring out that I'm not saving her from hours of research. I look up to see her disgruntled grimace as Jeremy starts to drag her out of my office to spend hours pouring over an outdated guide.

I shrug. I'm sure they'll be fine; I knew that at some point, they'd need to find the person in charge of factional resourcing, and that was Jason. He was usually entertaining to talk to and could spend forever if they let him. Plus, he liked Everly and would want her to be on his side of this issue. He wouldn't care about Jeremy one bit, and that could be hilarious to witness.

I watch them leave and pick up my phone to call Jack. He answers immediately, and I rub my temples when he asks for the security routes our patrol squads walk.

"Why do you need them?" I warily eye my computer. They're all on there. Every single route was sent and approved by me. The latest ones from Karl were blinking at me, awaiting my approval for today. But sending Jack such information didn't sit well with me, and he can tell when I don't answer him right away.

"I was thinking I might be of some help." He immediately begins typing, and I shake my head even though there's no one in here but me.

"Absolutely not. You can't accompany the soldiers. If you're thinking you'll go along with them and blend in, you're wrong. We want to keep an eye on the factionless. Not alert them that we're watching."

"Not me. I'd send someone else." Jack answers too easily, and I shake my head again.

"Have you been attempting surveillance on your own?" I stare at Everly's card as I realize I don't want him to answer this question.

But he does.

Exactly the way I was hoping he wouldn't.

"Yes, we have been."

Fanfuckingtastic.

"So you're aware the numbers are increasing." I ask, and I quickly respond to Max's message. He's typed it in all caps, announcing that Everly has missed an important meeting, and he was sure he'd sent her a reminder. I tell him I have no clue, but I'll look into it.

"I haven't personally, but the few who went said they felt like the factionless population has been growing. A few have been approached to join some movement or attend some meeting. I'm concerned we're overlooking something here."

Jack keeps speaking, but all I can hear is Everly yelling. Loudly.

"Go away." She shrieks at someone, and I close my eyes.

"You know what, I have to call you back." I mutter, and I hang up before he can protest. I walk out of my office and into the hallway, leaving my phone on my desk to immediately ring again. I hear Everly threatening to kill someone, and I can't say I'm too upset with her choice of handling whatever it is that's bothering her.

But everyone else might be.

"Your friend is yelling at that moron out there." Harrison pops his head out of his office, and waves in the general direction I'm walking. "I can't focus with her doing…whatever it is she's doing."

"She's fine." I answer flatly, and I notice he's grown a beard. "Go back to whatever it is you were doing. I'm sure it's important."

"It is." Harrison snaps, and he slams his door shut.

"Why is Everly yelling at Jeremy?" Rylan appears beside me, and he elbows me as he walks in front of me, cutting me off to go into Jason's office. "She's awfully loud for someone so small."

"Who knows?" I hiss at him. "As you can see, I'm right here. Not out there."

I shove past him and stalk down the hallway until I see Linda saying something to Everly. Jeremy looks panicked, as though Everly really might kill him, and Everly looks like she just might. Her expression changes to horror when she sees me walking over to her, and she takes a step back, realizing she's far louder than she thought she was.

"What is going on? Why are you yelling at Jeremy? I can hear you two all the way in my office." I stare directly at her, cocking one eyebrow in her direction. I don't care if she wants to stab Jeremy in the office. I have no personal attachment to him whatsoever. But I don't need her making a scene. She'll at least need to kill him somewhere quiet and out of the way.

"Leave your wife alone Eric." Linda interjects, and I stare at her nastily. "Jeremy was giving her a hard time about the baby and she just told him to go away. It's none of his business anyway."

The coffee slides right up my throat, burning away the lining of my esophagus. "The baby? What baby?"

I stare at my wife, who, despite looking very appealing in her dress and what I suppose she was considering a sweater, is looking at me with a very odd expression. She puts her hands on her hips, and I suddenly wonder if this was why she'd been crying.

Maybe I had been wrong.

"There is no baby. Jeremy thought that for your birthday we were having a baby."

Or I was right.

She looks at me with a very pointed look, and she's not as loud as before, but she might as well be. I swear every person on this floor can hear her, and my fear is confirmed when I hear Rylan whisper 'a baby'. I realize he's in the hallway, and if he's there, so is Jason. And Harrison. Max. The whole faction.

"I didn't know it was your birthday Eric! Happy Birthday, big guy!" Linda turns to look at me, and she smiles widely. She smiles even though I'm glaring at all of them: Jeremy, still looking pale and sneaky, Linda, still oblivious to the fact that I would never ever tell her it's my birthday, and Everly, the most traitorous wife of all, trying to appear innocent.

She's not.

I'd learned that the hard way. It was too late now, but I should have let Four train her.

I step backward, and I glare at Everly one final time. "I'll see you for lunch." I point at her, and to her credit, she nods.

"Well someone's got a case of the Mondays." Linda chimes in, and she must want to be fired. I resist the urge to knock her out, instead throwing a dark look at all of them. Jeremy gets the hint and he walks away from Everly with his gaze on her, and Everly throws me one sulky stare as Linda leans in closer to her.

I hear Everly mutter something to her, but I'm not listening. I nearly walk right into Rylan and his sly, pleased grin.

"You're having a baby? With her? Jason's gonna lose his shit." Rylan crows, and I push him out of my way.

"We're not." I bark, and I look forward to escaping into the safety of my office. "So keep your mouth shut."

"Too late. I already texted him." Rylan announces, and Harrison opens his door again.

"Neither of you should be having a baby. With what's going on right now, what's in the woods…"

I stop to look at him and he's completely serious.

"We're not…"

"Also, don't you two do any work around here? A baby isn't going to make you more productive." Harrison looks at me suspiciously, before retreating back into his completely dark office.

The irony is rich in his statement. I flip him off and walk to my own office. Once there, I slam the door shut. I sit there in silence, ignoring the 87 missed phone calls, and the 56 messages, until the entire technology department arrives. They are a mix of staff from Erudite and Dauntless, working together to improve our security system feeds the best they can, approved by Jeanine herself. They were here for a meeting with Kacie, one that wasn't due to start for another hour.

I'm not expecting them, which makes their excitement even more annoying.

It takes me thirty minutes to explain that their congratulations are not necessary, nor are they appreciated. At least one girl looks disappointed, and a few look like they don't believe me.

I kick them all out, and I vow that Everly will never leave my apartment again.

 

 

 

The rest of my week grates on my nerves.

Every single minute of my day is filled with something. Jack's vigilance on monitoring not only the factionless, but the ever-increasing movement that they were pushing for. Jeanine's returned push for the serums. She and I spend a long time talking about the side effects, and her disappointment when I tell her they didn't work the way she wanted them to was deafening. I can hear her spine snap into place when I suggest a second trial, or making some adjustments to them, but it's just what she wants to hear. My involvement. My allegiance to her. My help.

Her list of Divergents is abandoned as this becomes her priority.

I do, however, bring her one person.

I bring him to Erudite on a cold Wednesday. I'd left Everly with Max, noticing her pained expression at my departure, and I'd smirked right at her. I'd watched her leave for Amity with a similar look on my face, and today, she watched me march out to pick up the factionless man from the roof.

Jeanine's face had lit up when we walked through the doorway of her office. She'd been awaiting the results of his trial with Jack for some time now. I was lucky she hadn't asked what was going on, because Jack and I had stalled. We had kept him in Candor, allowing Jack to interrogate him endlessly, until Jack was convinced we had every ounce of information possible. I'd learned quite a few things, including the name Evelyn -spoken over and over with high esteem, and her plans to make everything fair for everyone.

With her as the one, main leader.

Jack had looked unimpressed. It wasn't that he entirely agreed with Jeanine's strict ideas for who fit where, or her enforcement of them. He just didn't want someone over him, telling him what to do.

What he also didn't want was a war; a messy, unrelenting bloodbath that would affect him just as much as the others. He didn't think it was necessary, and he had decided to do whatever he could to spare his faction. He loathed the unrealistic ideas of what the factionless wanted, their seemingly perfect utopia governed by one person, and he was now determined to stop it.

That meant when he was done with our no name visitor, he'd arranged for me to pick him up, and I'd taken him straight to Jeanine.

It felt fair.

Not too long ago, I'd have executed him the minute I could. If not me, it would have been Jason or Rylan. He had arrived at our faction with a loaded gun, ready to slaughter us all to prove a point. It was reminiscent of what Jeanine would like to do, but it wasn't something I'd let slide. Everly had been sitting there, not too far away from where he was, and he could have shot her. I'd have watched her bleed out in front of me, and this man wouldn't have suffered at all. Even his eventual death would have been too kind for him.

Which is why I had no issues leaving him in Jeanine's office, handcuffed and screaming.

I told her to try out her next batch on him. If he wanted to make such a difference, here was his chance.

She'd smiled in delight, and I left quickly before she could ask me too much. The truth serum was fully out of his system, and while there was a chance he'd try to tell everything Jack had asked him in hopes of her releasing him, she wouldn't believe him. I'd explained he was delusional, and that Jack had been unable to get anything out of him, and everything he'd uttered was a lie.

I drove out of Erudite feeling unsettled, but this had to be done. It would be a subtle warning for the factionless that we weren't about to play their games, and a stark warning for anyone who thought we'd let them off easily.

Compared to that, Thursday felt boring.

Everly had told me she was going out for drinks with her friends. I was assuming she was using both the words 'drinks' and 'friends' loosely. She'd had exactly two drinks since she'd been here, and she'd finished neither. She also had exactly two friends, and both of them were people I wouldn't trust even if it meant my own death.

But she'd looked excited and I felt insulted. Somewhat. Deep down I knew she needed this. She needed others in her life who weren't myself or my friends, and there was absolutely nothing wrong with her going out like a normal member of the faction. I didn't love the idea, simply because the image of her crying in my bathroom was still burned into my memory, but I merely shrugged and told her to have fun.

I knew the odds of her getting into any real trouble were slim, and I'd planned on a very quiet evening at home. I'd even toyed with the idea of calling Daniel. Not to tell him anything. But to see if he'd heard anything from Jeanine. If he was going to use me, I'd use him right back.

Instead, Rylan and Jason both show up in my office, and they slickly ask if I want to get a drink. I think nothing of it, until Rylan suggests we go somewhere other than Clyde's. I cock an eyebrow at him, and only then does he admit Christina told him where they're going, and I realize he fully plans on showing up there.

I can't fault him for his logic.

I agree, but I wave them off, saying I'll meet them later. I've just discovered someone has changed the security settings on Everly's email, and I know who did it.

 

 

 

I roll my eyes when I discover where they're going.

It's not like there were a ton of options for a night out when you lived in an underground faction, but this bar was notorious for it's chaos. It was the perfect storm of bright, neon lights that flashed off and on, no other real lighting, and plenty of tables and alcoves that people used to hook up in. It was almost always crowded, and there was a good chance you couldn't see who was next to you.

Tonight is no exception.

I lag behind Jason and Rylan, taking a sweeping glance over the crowd.

I'm relieved and not relieved when I don't see Everly out there. This doesn't at all look like somewhere she'd want to be, and the crowd of people dancing seems to spill everywhere. I walk along lazily, recognizing a few faces each time a wave a bright light bursts over them, but they pay no attention to us. The music is so loud you can barely think straight, and the pulsing, repetitive beat speeds up in time with the lights.

I idly wonder if I've been here long enough that this counts and I can go home.

It doesn't. Rylan steps right to the side of me and cocks his head to the side.

"They're over there." Rylan elbows me, pointing over to the bar.

"Where?" I can barely see through the crowd, and I still can't see what he's pointing at. I finally make out a few dark haired girls sitting right up at the bar, and I head that way. Jason splits off in a different direction, catching the allure of glowing green hair somewhere in the distance, and I smirk when I see Everly sitting beside Christina.

She doesn't look like Everly.

At least not my Everly.

Her hair is down, hanging far below the back of the barstool in pretty, even waves. She looks not quite so innocent, not like the girl who sits on my bed in her fancy nightgowns, but like someone you'd have a hard time not staring at. The urge to take her home is strong, but there's something appealing about seeing her like this. She's grinning, staring at the drink in her hand, and she tilts her head in surprise when Rylan trips over someone and knocks the thing right out of her hand.

I'm close enough that I hear it shatter, and the sugary cocktail splashes everywhere.

"Sorry about that. Hi ladies. Wow, you all look nice." Rylan winks at all of them, shoving himself between the girls. His smooth greeting isn't quite as impressive as he hoped. Christina smiles wryly at the sight of him, Everly looks annoyed, and Tris throws him one long, unimpressed stare.

"Hi Rylan." Everly greets him, but her stare skips right over him and finds me. Her dark eyes make their way up and down, and I smirk when she gets to my face. The fact that my own wife just checked me out is amusing, and I saunter over when she waves at me.

"I can't find her." Jason walks up with me, sulking when I ignore him and head toward Everly. I stop in between her legs, pretending I don't see her, and I wave over the bartender. I don't know this bartender, but she acknowledges me with a smile, holding up a finger to signal she'll be right there.

"Hi Eric." Everly greets me loudly, and when I look down, she's staring at me like she's never seen me before. Maybe it's because Rylan had told Jason and I that we both had to change, and not to wear the uniform jackets. I'd rolled my sleeves up before we left and shoved my keycard in my pocket. I left my phone at home and had decided I might as well enjoy myself.

"Hi Everly." I smile down at her brightly, ordering a drink when the bartender arrives. She asks if I want to open a tab, and I shrug. I don't plan on being here for long, but it'll be easier to pay and leave when I'm done.

"What are you doing here?" Everly waits until I'm done ordering to elbow me. My hands have found her waist, skimming up beneath the dark shirt she has on. She looks entertained, like she expected me to be here, but her expression changes to something lustier when I skim my fingers over the bare skin under her shirt.

"Guy's night out." I cheerfully mock her, remembering the way she'd looked adorably confused when she said Christina wanted a girl's night out. I took it Amity didn't have too many nights out in Amity, unless you counted chasing the escaped cows as a good time.

"Funny Coulter." She answers just as mockingly, and I lean in close to her.

"Oh, it's Coulter now, is it? Are we back to that?" I hold her stare, and I enjoy the way her lips fight off a smile. "I can make you say your own last name if that's what you're into."

She laughs. If I wasn't right up against her, I would have missed it. I'm glad I didn't. She looks relaxed and happy, her big eyes soaking in everything around her eagerly. This is a far better sight than the ones I'd seen lately, and I want to tell her that. I lean in just as my drink slides across the bar to me, and I kiss her right below her ear. Her skin is warm, and the smell of her clean, soft hair is overwhelming.

She immediately squirms, pushing herself closer to me. "Eric."

"Yes?" I raise my eyebrow at her, backing away slowly. "Do you need something?"

"I thought you guys normally went to Clyde's."

Her question is cute. She sounds suspicious, and rightfully so. I reach for my drink, pretending to mull over what she said. She's right; we'd only come here a handful of times, because none of us truly enjoyed this bar. I swallow down the pleasingly bitter drink, and when I look at Everly, she looks absolutely gorgeous. I smile at her, the action stupid and not at all what I'd planned, and she notices. She smiles right back at me, and my fingers tighten on her.

"Thought we'd try something new." I tell her slowly, pausing to take note of the way her eyelashes are long and lovely, and her cheeks are shimmery. "And you're here."

It must be what she needs to hear, or maybe it's my fingers leaving her skin to find her bare shoulders, because she reaches forward to wrap her arms around my waist. She pulls me a step closer, having some leverage since she's sitting on a tall bar stool, and her head finds my chest.

"Are you guys staying?" She asks, and she pushes herself closer. Over her head, I spy Rylan, doing his best to woo Christina into leaving. Jason is watching me from a few steps down, his eyes glued to the back of Everly's head. He mouths the word 'nice', nodding as he waits for his own drink.

This seems surreal. Everly at this bar, my two friends close to her, and no one batting an eye at my hands in her hair. I lazily twist a piece of the longer strands around my finger, and I finish my drink in one sip. The burn feels good, warm and strong and just what I needed.

"Maybe." I watch Rylan lean into Christina, his hair combed for this special occasion and his shirt mostly buttoned up. He shows her something on his watch, and she's less impressed than he's hoping. Everly raises her head up from my chest and turns to see what I'm staring at, and she watches her friend intently.

Beside them, Tris is watching everything with a disapproving look on her face.

"Did she tell you he's asked her out a few times?" I ask Everly, and she shifts against me. I feel like I'm letting her in on some secret, and I wonder if she knows how hard Rylan had worked to win over her friend. Rylan was head over heels for Christina, despite Christina's odd hesitation. He'd hinted more than once that if I could just be a little nicer to her, it might be easier for him. I suppose there might be some lingering concern, considering I'd nearly let her fall to her death during her training. But I wasn't focused on that. She'd learned her lesson, I'd proved my point, and we'd moved on. I had no reason to be around her, and she wasn't exactly on my list of priorities.

But Everly was, and since Everly was also friends with her, I assumed I'd be seeing more of her.

But I'd never be nicer.

That was just unnecessary.

She and Rylan were just fine together. She made him happy, and I supported him, no matter how terrible his dating choices were.

Against me, Everly shakes her head and smiles. "No, she's never told me. He looks like he's determined now." The two of us watch them both lean into each other. Rylan tucks her hair behind her ear, the action slow and warm as Christina blushes, and I have little doubt she'll go home with him.

It might not be as his girlfriend, for they'd been dancing around that subject for what seemed like ages, but it would be enough for him.

For now.

"Dauntless never give up." I tease Everly, and I find myself irritated when Christina pulls back away from him, and her eyes flash over me.

The hesitation because of me is clear, and I force myself to smile at her, though I doubt it looks like much of a smile.

But it works.

She smiles back and reaches for Rylan's hand.

 

 

An hour later, Everly sits on my lap.

The air has grown sticky and warm, a mixture of the fog that's pumped in to add some intrigue, the hundreds of people dancing, and the smoky hazy lights. The music is just as loud, the lounge is just as crowded, and we'd left the bar to grab seats away from the busiest section. We were joined by quite a few familiar faces, all drunk, some drunker than others, and I had to admit this was a nice break from everything that was perpetually swirling around in my brain.

Meghan had shown up, her green hair electric under the lights and she'd immediately sulked when Jason paid no attention to her. He was busy balancing his drink on top of Rylan's, both in oversized glasses that lit up when the lights hit them. Rylan and Christina had followed us; Christina seemed somewhat more relaxed when she realized I wasn't going to bring anything up and she and Rylan were close to fucking on the couch they were sitting on if they didn't leave soon.

Uriah and Marlene had shown up, flocking to Tris. They were sitting next to her, spinning round and round on the barstools until one of them fell off dizzily. Tris watches them with one eye, and she tries to focus between Everly and I, Christina and Rylan, and Peter and Four. Four had shown up looking near death; he looked tired and irritable, and he'd zeroed right in on Tris. I almost asked Everly where Jeremy was, but I thought better of it. Tris looked the most normal I'd seen her in a long time, despite her tense expression.

After a good few minutes of them talking, Peter stalks away, and Four says something that makes Tris smile. She looks odd, and I realize that for once, the two of them look happy. For once in his miserable little life, Four is smiling too.

Peter is not.

He storms away, rubbing his eyes while he waits to order something to presumably drown his sorrows in.

"What's wrong with him?" Everly cranes her head up to look at me, and I shrug. I take a drink of the beer Rylan had ordered. It was something fancy and pretentious, meant to impress everyone with his knowledge of craft beers, and I had told him it tasted like every other beer we had.

He'd also ordered Everly a drink, something she didn't seem to be enjoying, and I had to laugh when I realized he'd ordered her a ginger ale mixed with some sparkly syrup.

Judging by the way she was barely drinking it, I didn't think she was enjoying her mocktail.

"He's probably asking them why he's not helping with the next training class." I touch her hair, the long strands falling onto my lap. I pull on the ends of them, pleased when she tilts her head back. "He's a pain in the ass."

Everly smiles slowly, and I lean down to whisper in her ear. I've grown bored sitting here, not with her, just with the general population of Dauntless dancing around us like morons. "You know, it's still my birthday month. I believe you said you'd help me celebrate it for as long as I'd like."

I pull on the ends again, and Everly must agree. She sits up, turning to look at me, and nods her head. Her arms loop around my neck, her sorry excuse for a drink long forgotten, and she leans in to press her lips against mine.

When we stand up to leave, I notice Four watching us, a look of odd, obvious discontent on his face, and it only intensifies when Everly reaches for my hand, sliding her fingers between mine.

 

 

On Tuesday, I find Jeremy in the break room.

He looks edgy, but he always does. He looks up slowly when I take the seat next to him, reclining back in my chair to watch him. I don't greet him, but I watch him grow uncomfortable when I smile darkly.

Twenty minutes later, he still can't explain why he blocked Everly from receiving half her emails, and his only explanation is that he was trying to help her when her computer broke and he must have accidentally done something. My warning to him is blunt and straightforward.

He's to leave her alone, and if he dares try anything else, I won't hesitate in making sure he never finishes his days here. He agrees, and I leave, cheerful as ever.

 

 

 

I head to Candor shortly after I eat lunch.

I drive myself, enjoying the silence as I focus on the falling snow.

Jack had asked me to stop by, promising it would be quick and painless. I knew that meant this would be time consuming and I'd hate every moment of it. I thought about grabbing Rylan, but he hadn't shown up for work this morning, so I went alone.

I hadn't even had time to find Everly. I sent her a message while I drove, but my phone beeped every so often to show it was undeliverable. This was a rare occurrence. It meant she was either far underground, where the reception didn't reach, or I was too far out of range to have service. Some of these spots where too heavily forested, and we struggled to track the patrols in some of the denser areas.

I think of this as I walk into Jack's office. My phone doesn't reconnect until I sit down in his chair, and I realize I have several missed calls and my message still hasn't sent. But I don't look at any of them, nor am I able to attempt to text her again.

I sit across from Jack, listening patiently as Jack tells me what he's been observing.

I have to force myself to stay on this side of the desk, because if I listen carefully, I want to lunge for him and tell him to stop. But he knows he can't mess this up. I take everything he says seriously, neatly filing it all away. He's taken precautions to write everything down only on paper. While this is easy to lose, it's safer. Nothing can be tracked or duplicated if only he and I have a copy of it, and it's not being sent electronically.

I try to relax, but I keep waiting for someone to walk in here, realizing I'm not just here for a routine visit.

I eat an early dinner with him in his fancy restaurant. The waitress recognizes me, and she grins in delight as she pours me an oversized cup of coffee. For the most part, the conversation is pleasant. Jack seems fine with what we've worked on, and he's content that no one else is involved. We come to an agreement to slowly focus on a few errors Jeanine has made when my phone rings shrilly. It's Rylan, and I excuse myself to answer it.

I walk outside, grateful for the second of silence as I exit the restaurant. I stare at the snowfall, lazy heavy snowflakes that aren't sticking anywhere as Rylan tells me that Everly has left for Amity.

Her father had a heart attack, and Rylan's voice grows tight when he tells me they don't think he has long to live. He tells me everyone had been trying to get a hold of me, and it was only when Arlene gave up and went and found RyIan did I answer the phone.

I stand there, staring at the clouds and I feel like shit. I wonder if she's tried to call me, and I imagine her leaving the faction on her own to return to Amity. I remember to thank Rylan, then I leave immediately. I give Jack a quick explanation, and I suppose I can appreciate his sympathetic expression.

I have no clue what I should be doing, but all I can think of is that I need to find Everly.

 

 

The snowfall is heavier by the time I reach Amity.

The sun had begun setting not long ago, and the air is biting. I park the truck to the side of the stables, ignoring the few inquisitive stares thrown my way. The faction is practically empty, said for a few lingering members who are rounding up the livestock and shooing them inside. They're doing their best to prepare in case it storms again, and they don't look enthused at my presence. One heads inside, ducking his head down as he pulls one of the doors closed. The other one throws me a kind look, and he walks over when I slam the truck door shut.

"I assume you're looking for Everly?" He eyes me up and down, my black uniform the exact opposite of his oversized coat and tan pants. He waits until I nod before he points far into the distance. "Sorry about your father in law. Hank was a good man. You're uh…Everly's out that way. She left about half an hour ago. You might want to get her inside before it snows."

His words catch me off guard.

I'm completely surprised by them, mostly because I'd never even met Everly's father. I wouldn't have known him if he walked right in front of me. She'd rarely mentioned him, and I'd been under the impression she hadn't left on good terms. That wasn't uncommon. She'd left the most peaceful faction for the most violent one, and while she was hardly violent in nature, it had to feel like betrayal to her family.

"Uh, thank you." I mutter, and I stare at him. "Is she…"

"Through the groves. Her mom lives down the road if you need anything. Or Johanna's in her office until around eight or so."

"Alright." I press my lips together, a strange feeling of discomfort hitting me, and I take off.

I follow exactly where he's pointing, my boots crushing over wet mud and dead branches. Amity is especially hideous this time of year. At some point, it was probably decent. Maybe. But the snow has fallen and melted, leaving everything a wet, damp mess. The fields are bare, the trees are bare, and it feels like a ghost town.

Fitting.

I turn to find these groves he mentioned, never having been this way, and I step off the main pathway. This area is dark compared to the rest of the faction. The trees are stark, long branches reaching and weaving to create an intricate canopy that covers the sky. I immediately feel claustrophobic as I walk past the trees, until I see Everly.

I can see her standing there, in the same sweater dress I'd watched her put on this morning, and the same dark boots she didn't really lace up. Her hair is down, falling around her face as she walks, and her hands are clasped together in front of her.

Her grief is striking.

It's like the life has been sucked out of her, and she looks brittle enough to snap. Maybe it's the sight of her against the dark trees, or maybe it's the way her shoulders drop in unfair defeat. I look at her carefully, wanting nothing more than to yank her away from here, but I can tell that's not what I should do.

She looks up at me once, her eyes wide and filled with hurt, and then she looks away right as the sun gives up.

I stop in my tracks.

All around us, the air is sharply cold, so much that my jaw hurts. Everly walks toward me, always, but she's a million miles away. It's not until she's right in front of me, do her eyes meet mine, and I know the news isn't good.

"He's gone."

Her voice doesn't shake, not like after the nightmare, but it's quiet and low.

"I'm sorry." It's the first thing that comes to mind. I reach for her, grasping her hands in mine. She's freezing, though I'm assuming she hasn't noticed. I pull her close to me, her boots bumping against mine and she looks up at me. "I came as soon as I heard. I was stuck in Candor. I didn't know what happened until Rylan called. I didn't have reception anywhere."

My stomach drops when she nods, her voice not so sure anymore.

"It's alright."

The snow falls down around us, choosing the perfect moment to dump itself out of the sky. It sticks in Everly's hair, wet sparkles that don't immediately melt. I brush them off, sighing when I don't know what else to say to her.

I'd never lost anyone. Especially someone close to me.

"Everly…"

"Will you stay here with me? Just for the night?" Everly asks carefully, and I would bet she thinks I'll say no. Really, I wonder if she really wants to stay, or simply feels obligated. "Tomorrow they'll…they'll honor his life here in Amity. I should stay for that. And I haven't even gone to see my mother yet."

Her voice betrays her words. She doesn't want any of this, but she feels like she should. I understand. I can't rip her away from here if this is where she needs to be.

I nod my head at her, and she leans into my chest. Her head falls forward and she rests her cheek there. I slide one of my hands up to the back of her head, pressing her against me, simply holding her as close as I can. She's silent as the weight of her father's death sinks in, and the sun finally vanishes into total darkness. The air grows colder, tighter around us, and it's then that she breaks away. Her eyes find mine and I act without thinking. My hand finds her cheek, and I kiss her very gently. Quick enough that it's almost nothing. I feel her shiver, and I have a hard time letting go of her.

I realize why. Because away from me, I can't fix this. I can't fix it with her against me either, but at least I can offer some comfort that way.

"Let's get you inside."

She nods, and I take her hand. We walk out of the groves together, silently, and I discover I have lots of questions about a man I'd never met.

 

 

 

My own father calls while Johanna searches for a key.

Her desk is a mess, so it takes her some time. Everly watches with a funny look on her face, equal parts confusion and misery. I step away, touching her elbow quickly, and my boots echo as I stalk away from the office.

Johanna had been waiting for us when we arrived back. The expression on her face told me Hank's death was unexpected, and she carried her grief just as visibly as Everly. She had reached for her, crushing her against her and smoothing Everly's hair down, and she'd managed to look at me with a flash of fleeting sympathy.

I didn't deserve it.

I was here for Everly, not because I knew her father.

There was no honor in my appearance. I couldn't reassure her that he had been proud of her, nor could I remind her of all their times together. I knew nothing of him, and judging from the look on Everly's face, she regretted the way she had left things.

"Yes."

I answer Daniel quickly, not having bothered to call him back any of the times he'd tried to call me. I feel a speck of guilt at that, but I squash it down, blaming it on the loss of Everly's own father. Daniel would never have a place in my life, and that was fine. I had no need to feel alarmed that he might suddenly drop dead in the operating room, though the chances were high that he'd die doing what he loved. Which was working.

"Eric, did you…did they get ahold of you? Arlene called asking if I'd heard from you. No one knew where you were."

His voice is wrought with unnecessary worry. I am far past the age where he should be concerned about my whereabouts. However, I humor him, mostly because Arlene had a perfectly valid reason for trying to track me down.

"Yeah, they did. I had no reception in Candor. I think it was the incoming storm. It's fine."

"Arlene said it was important. She didn't tell me what, but she was frantic trying to find you." Daniel continues, and I hear the quiet murmur of the hospital behind him. I can picture it clearly; the pristine white walls, the royal blue scrubs on those around him. His glasses shoved up every few seconds as he stood there, prepped for surgery.

"I'm in Amity. Everly's father died." I inform him of this like I'm telling him it's snowing out. I stare at the empty faction before me, lingering in the doorway so I'm not entirely out of Everly's sight. "We'll stay here tonight. They'll have a celebration for him tomorrow."

"Oh." Daniel sounds far away, his voiced muffled as someone tells him they've prepped the room for him. "Eric…"

I close my eyes.

"Will you tell her I'm sorry. I know I've never met her, but I…I truly am sorry for her loss."

He sounds sincere.

And he is.

I can hear the noise behind him increase as someone calls out a code, and he hesitates.

"Eric…"

"I'll tell her." I lie.

Maybe I will. Maybe I won't.

He has no business being involved in Everly's life, and given her despondent appearance, I might not either. Not right now.

"Please. I'd like to…to meet her sometime. Or maybe I could just come by and say hello. Before-"

"Yeah. Okay." I agree without thinking, and I chew on the side of my cheek. "I'll call you when I'm back in Dauntless. I'm gonna go find out where she's staying."

"Okay," Daniel readily agrees, sounding relieved. I can hear it in his tone, and it stays there when he says goodbye.

I hang up to find Everly standing there, watching me with wide eyes.

 

 

I'd expected her to stay with her mother.

Not me personally.

I could only assume everyone in Amity was assigning some invisible, secret blame to me, as if I had done this. In their minds, I had taken away Hank's daughter, married her, refused to let her come home to Amity, kept her with me until she couldn't fend me off any longer, and was the supreme leader of all things violent and evil. I'm sure Landon had woven some intricate, stellar tales of my days in Dauntless, and the result was Hank's heart had given out.

I had walked along with Everly and Johanna, fully prepared to be asked to stay elsewhere. I could refuse, of course. Everly is my wife. There is no missing the ring on her finger or the fact that she was clutching my hand tight enough to leave a mark. I was silent as Johanna led us to a small set of houses off to the side of Amity. There were half a dozen of them, all empty, all dark. She had taken us to the first one, announced she wouldn't be far away if we needed anything and vanished into the darkness.

"They used to use these when visitors came here. But…we didn't get a lot of visitors." Everly tells me, shoving the key into the lock. She struggles with it, the door groaning in protest, and I press my lips together. I have a feeling I'm about to enter a shit show. I put my hand over Everly's, and I shove the key and the door until it creaks open.

To my surprise, it's nice.

Sort of.

The room is large. It has furniture that is in better shape than I expected, and everything is white. There are large windows along one wall, a fireplace in the corner, and a bathroom off to the side. It isn't the worst room I've ever stayed in, and Everly seems just fine with it. She walks in first, letting her fingers trail over the edge of the bed, and her head bows down.

I shut the door behind me, locking it in the event someone wanted to wander in and say hello, and I realize with heavy dismay that I have no clue how to fix this.

This isn't something I can fix, but if I could, I'd do anything in my power to bring her father back.

 

 

She warms up once we're in bed.

She lies against me, dressed in the most hideous nightgown so far. Johanna had dropped off a pile of things for the both of us, and I'd set them on the dresser. Everly had changed without saying much. She'd crawled into bed when I took off my uniform. I left my boxers on, and I brushed my teeth with the toothbrush Johanna had left. This felt like an odd camping trip, one I wasn't at all prepared for.

To make it even worse, Everly is quiet.

Really quiet.

Not that I expect her to be rambling away, but I feel uneasy with her silence. I'd almost rather she have a complete meltdown, because this told me she was keeping it together for my benefit. But she didn't have to. I wasn't that cruel of a person that I'd expect her to be stoic this entire time.

I slide into bed next to her, and she reaches over for me. She's still cold from outside. Her skin is freezing as she presses herself into my chest, and I angle myself closer to her.

"We can leave tomorrow."

She finally speaks, quiet as a mouse in the large room. The lights are off and the fire is the weakest thing I have ever seen, but it is just her and I. I feel her inhale deeply, once again, doing her best not to cry. But the tears win out, and she wipes at her eyes to stop them.

"Whenever you want." I hold onto her tighter, and I mean what I've said. If she wanted to stay longer, we would.

I touch her hair while she lies there, brushing it down over and over again. I can offer her no real support, but I'm trying. I hold her as close as possible, not knowing what to say other than I'm sorry, and that seems hollow. I am sorry. I don't want her to go through this, and I don't want her thinking she can't be upset. Or that she made a mistake by leaving Amity. She had every right to want happiness for herself, even if her father hadn't approved. I want to tell her all of this, but I can't. None of it sounds right coming from me.

She sighs again, pushing her palms into her eyes for a few seconds.

After a moment, she sits up, and looks down at me. She looks young, like the girl who first came to Dauntless with large eyes and a hopefulness behind them.

"You okay?" I brush the stray pieces of her hair out of the way. She nods as my fingers touch her jaw, and she closes her eyes briefly.

"Thanks for staying here with me." She says softly, and her gaze is fixed on mine. I watch her intently, noticing the way her eyes are greener than green, and her nose turns up the tiniest bit. I'd seen every inch of her, yet sometimes, it was like I'd never stop discovering new parts of her.

"I wouldn't leave you alone." I smile slightly, but it feels somewhat sad. My fingers curl into her hair, pulling the dark strands around and around, and I hope she doesn't think otherwise. "You know that right?"

She nods her head slowly, and I watch her bite down on her lip to stop it from shaking.

"Everly." I say her name quietly, and I shake my head because there are a million things I could blurt out right now.

None of them seem fitting enough. They never will be.

"You know that you mean…" I hesitate on what to tell her, because there isn't anything that can accurately describe what I feel for her. "You mean everything to me."

I feel oddly triumphant as I say the last part. Euphoric even. I'd told her something, other than I was happy.

Her eyes widen, and I sit up. I meet her halfway, kissing her softly, until my hands cup her face. It seems to be the right thing to do. She leans in, sighing against me. I press more firmly, her lips salty against my own, when I hear her say it.

Mumbled against my lips, but clear as day.

"I love you."

I'd been in the process of kissing her. I'd planned on trying to show her what she meant to me, and if this was how I could accomplish that, then I'd go for it. But I break away from her at her admission. I reel back, staring at her in disbelief at the words she'd just spoken. No one had ever said them to me. No one had ever meant them, or felt them, or even thought them.

But she does.

I can tell.

She looks at me with her eyes wide and wet, and her lips parted slightly, and I realize that I'd never thought this possible.

Everly Coulter loves me, possibly the same way I love her.


	25. The Farewell of Hank Carlen

_I love you._

I stare at Everly until she blurs then unblurs. Her dark hair comes into focus first, then her big eyes, and once clear- her expression is sweeter than ever. She's looking at me like she's loved me all along, maybe not that first day, or the time I dragged her out of bed at five am, but for far longer than I'd thought. Long before I'd realized I couldn't bear to be away from her, and long before I knew what I was feeling.

It lasts for a second. While she had sounded confident in telling me she loved me, there is a hint of uncertainty there now, one I fully understand.

I had been convinced I had no clue how to love her.

I might have been in love with her, but this is different. Her words are something I don't know how to react to, nor am I sure that she wants me to. I've struggled for some time with the idea that she wanted a husband who'd tell her such things. I'd mocked them to her face, smirking and sneering that she'd be foolish to think I could love her. The joke was on me when I found myself to be the one who was sickly in love with my initiate, unable to ignore the warning signs going off in my mind every time she curled up against my side.

Her whispering that she loved me, telling me during such a low moment in her life, meant more than if she had blurted it out in bed. It was whole, unprompted by anything but her true feelings for me. I can practically feel it radiating from her, the affection and understanding she'd had since day one. The patience, to wear down my reluctance to feel anything real, and the willingness to accept it. She had never done more than press me for what she knew I could tell her, and she was well aware that I could only give her so much.

But loving her is something else. It meant I'd be facing emotions I had no desire to experience. Things that weren't me in any way. Things I'd written off as only appropriate for the undisciplined.

Fear, hurt, vulnerability.

I'd long dismissed love as having no place in my life. Love was a cowardly emotion, better suited for those who couldn't control themselves. I'd had no reason to love someone, and no one had a reason to love me. I'd always assumed that loving someone meant you were weak, because you gave up part of yourself to be with them.

I'd convinced myself the act of loving someone was pointless. It brought forth nothing except headache and unease, and just because she could get close to me, didn't mean I owed her such feelings. But after months of being completely submerged in a life with Everly, I'd experienced other things. Softer things. Kindness. Affection. Understanding. The odd sensation of realizing I had someone who waited for me to come home at night. Someone who seemed to like me no matter how many uncomfortable details she found out. Someone who sunk against me in her darkest times, because she found comfort in my presence.

And now this.

Everly blinks at me, and her brave stare begins to crack. In this room, the low light coming from the crackling flames, and her body primed over mine, I realize the weight of what she's said. Long ago, I'd told her I'd never love her. I'd lied through my teeth, but never known that I'd be eating those words someday. She'd hinted all along that this was more than just a marriage to keep her safe, and now she was telling me to my face.

She is brave. Braver than anyone.

Without even trying, Everly had become my wife to the fullest extent. She'd given me what I never knew I wanted, and now she's giving me what I needed.

What I should deserve, if I thought I did.

"You don't have to say it back."

Under the crushing weight of my silence, Everly looks to the side of me. To stark white sheets, and her whole face has tensed up as she discovers this might have been something I didn't want to hear. I hate that she looks like that -always seemingly at my doing, but I don't know what she expects. I haven't exactly been wooing her like Rylan had wooed Christina, or dragging her out to the fields to fuck her beneath the moonlight. Professing my love for her wasn't something I had planned on doing, ever.

I couldn't begin to figure out how. Or why she'd want to hear it from me.

But now I can.

Because she's looking at me, her eyes still on mine, and her hair touching my chest. It's always been her and I, since day one, and it is clear this is the end she had in mind. She had no desire to pretend to be my wife so she'd stay alive. She wanted everything I could give her, and with one bat of her long eyelashes, she'd get me to give more.

Every time.

I shift beneath her, pushing myself up a bit higher to gain some leverage. I look at her pretty face, and I stupidly realize she's on top of me, and she's won.

Again.

She's been right this whole time. She had hoped I loved her, perhaps wished it that night we sat on the roof beneath the stars or one of the times she sat on my lap coyly asking me my favorite color.

Whatever the case was, she'd gotten her way, and I could respect that.

I could tell her.

"Of course I love you." I wind up snapping at her, realizing she'd tricked me again. She seemed to have a knack for pulling out the worst of my secrets, and here they were. Lying on top of me, smiling when I've said exactly what she wants to hear. She beams as she looks down at me, and I scowl even further in defeat. She loved me, I loved her, and this wasn't what I'd ever planned for when I agreed to train her.

"Now get off of me." I struggle to sit upright. Everly is hardly in the position to pin me down, but she does push me back, refusing to move.

"What? Why?"

I narrow my eyes at her, reaching for her arms in a weak attempt to push her away. My discomfort is in full effect. I love her, but we don't need to have a debate about it.

"I told you. You are always on top of me when you decide to have these little discussions. I clearly remember saying no more."

She only smiles brighter.

The mood in the room has lightened considerably, even though I'm glaring at her now. I feel exposed, raw and uneasy at my own confession of such feelings. A wave of hot, juvenile embarrassment rushes over me as I fumble to ignore her triumphant stare, but the attempt is futile. I don't really want her to get off me, but I don't want her realizing that what I feel for her is far beyond snapping an I love you. What I feel for her is very honest, as well as honestly terrifying.

"Everly." I say her name warningly but she shakes her head no.

"Say it again."

I can feel my eyes widen. No one has ever bossed me around, but then again, no one had ever loved me, either.

I could readily and willingly announce I had loved no one. Not Blythe. Not Daniel. Not the lady who'd walked me to school when I was younger. Never Ashley. Certainly not Arlene.

Everly is the only person I've ever felt such things for, and now she knows.

I have to admit, staring at her, at her smiling face and her soft expression, that it feels far less painful than I'd thought. I could still lead my faction, even if I loved her. No one had to know that I felt such a thing.

Except for her.

If that was what she wanted, then I'd give it to her.

Only her.

"Fine. I love you." I look right at her, making sure she doesn't miss what I'm saying.

She doesn't.

She lunges for me as best one can when they're lying on top of me. Her lips find mine, and she pushes me back further into the white sheets. I immediately give up, knowing full well I can't win this one. Maybe I don't want to. Maybe I've never wanted to. Maybe all along, I'd secretly hoped this was how it would turn out. I relax into the sheets, pulling off the hideous monstrosity that Johanna had given her, and I give in to Everly entirely.

This time, I tell her I love her while her forehead rests against mine, and her arms are looped around my neck.

She says it back, over and over, until the idea of being in love isn't quite as repulsive as it once was.

 

 

I wake up to Everly talking to someone.

I open my eyes to the fresh, white hell that is the Amity guest house. I blink at the bright light pouring in, the white sheets around me, and the white walls that remind me I'd come here to find my wife after her father died. I groan, also remembering I'd told her I loved her and it was unlikely she'd ever forget.

There is a high chance she'd now expect all sorts of romantic gestures and I'd learned I had a hard time not giving in to her. My reputation would be ruined if she expected things of that nature, and I'd have to remind her that while I loved her, I wasn't a moron.

I lie there in my own misery, listening to her talk quietly to someone. The voice isn't at all familiar, but it isn't Johanna. They're talking about her father, and I'm reminded that today is the day they're celebrating his death. That I found my wife wandering in an empty grove, miserable and quiet as she processed what had happened. I can see her clearly, her tiny figure lost amongst the dead trees, and the image of her face peering up at mine, her hurt expression right there.

I shove the covers off me, and I figure the sooner we get started, the sooner we can return to Dauntless. I walk out of the bedroom slowly, still not entirely awake, and I'm greeted with the sight of Everly and her friend. I don't remember which friend she is, nor has Everly really pointed either of them out to me, but the girl's eyes widen in surprise as I walk over.

I catch the end of what she's saying, something about being proud of Everly, and I have a hard time believing this girl is being honest with her. I watch carefully, noticing she's staring at me like she's not sure what to do, and her nervousness increases when I walk past her. I let my fingers touch Everly's waist, skimming over the thin fabric that she'd thrown on to answer the door, just enough that her friend notices. I'm distracted when I realize she's brought breakfast, and I reach for one of the cups she's brought, grateful that despite being from here- this girl had the foresight to bring the both of us coffee.

Her eyes find my bare chest, and she turns just as red as Four did when he stomped out of my office after he realized I knew he'd been in the control room the night Everly and I had visited the chasm for a quietly romantic moment.

"I uh… I should let you guys eat." The girl's voice is high and squeaky, and she backs up a step when I turn in her direction.

I smirk at her unease, grabbing the cup closest to me. It's obvious she wasn't expecting to see me, nor does she know what to do.

"Nice to see you again." I walk back to stand by Everly, not bothering to pretend I can't see our guest staring at my state of undress like she's going to burst into flames. Her friend nods and looks down at the tray. There's plenty of food on it, but I'd prefer not to wind up a mindless zombie for the duration of my stay here.

"Thanks for the food." I tell her, and I try not to sound entirely disgusted at what she's brought. There's little chance any of it is actually safe to eat, but even I can admit the gesture is nice.

"You're uh very welcome." She looks at me once, but her gaze goes everywhere. My arms, my legs, my stomach. My boxers. She looks up guiltily, and I smile over Everly's head.

Her friend stares back, and Everly immediately elbows me.

"I'll walk you out." She tells her, and I elbow her back. Her little friend is still staring at me, and while I understand the sight of me is appealing, her gaze is entertaining. I hear Everly say her name, trying to get her attention, and I smirk once more.

"Bye Courtney." I call out, walking over to sit down at the table. I squint at the food, wondering what my chances were of there being peace serum in everything. I remember Everly telling me it was only in the bread, and luckily for me, there's none on here.

"Bye." Courtney answers, and she doesn't move. She looks at Everly, finally done with staring at me. "Will you stay all day?"

"I don't know. Maybe? I'm going to go see my mother after this and then we'll see." Everly shrugs, and her voice changes to something tight and uneasy. I glance at her out of the corner of my eye, but she looks alright. I get the impression we won't be staying the entire time, and there's nothing wrong with that.

I also get the impression the eggs are safe to eat, so I decide to take a few bites. They seem normal, so I eat some bacon, and I pretend I can't see Courtney looking back at me. She leans in close to Everly, and she whispers something.

I look up when Everly laughs.

"Yeah, I know. He looks bigger without clothes on."

I think that's what I hear, but I can't be sure.

Either way, it doesn't concern me.

Everly is smiling, and it lasts for a decent amount of time after her friend leaves. She closes the door once Courtney pries herself away from ogling my chest, and she walks over to the table I'm sitting at. She smiles when she sits down, and she and I eat breakfast, our knees bumping into each other beneath the small table. The little house is quiet, and I hate to admit that despite being here for the loss of Everly's father, it's nice to spend this time with her.

It would feel normal, until my head begins to hurt and I curse whoever cooked this food.

 

 

Not much later, she leaves to go find her mother, and I leave to find Johanna.

We'd both showered and dressed after breakfast. I put my uniform back on, refusing to wear anything Johanna had brought, and Everly dug through the clothes to retrieve the darkest things she could find. She told me I could go with her if I wanted, but the look on her face told me she wanted this time alone.

I understood.

I also understood that her mother might not be enthused to meet me today. I knew nothing about her, had never even asked about her, but I wasn't exactly popular here. There was no way she'd appreciate me showing up at her house, here because Everly asked me to be. It would be better for Everly to go alone.

So, I kissed her forehead and watched her head out. Her boots were still half laced, her leggings were dark, and the oversized sweater wasn't going to keep her warm enough. But she looked like Everly, even if she did look extra small walking along the dirt pathway all alone.

I watched her until she took one of the forks in the pathway, and once she disappeared, I laced up my own boots and went to find Johanna in her office. Since getting dressed, I'd thought long and hard about how to approach her. I was well aware this wasn't exactly the time for such a discussion, but it was necessary. In fact, it might be my only chance to talk with her while her guard was down.

Yesterday, Johanna had looked just as distraught as Everly had. Losing a member of her faction was bound to affect her, but the look on her face told me she had either been close to Everly's family, or she knew Hank had been struggling. This wasn't the time to ask her about her growing faction, or hint that I knew not all the members were honest, official members, and I didn't plan on starting with that. I'd work it in once I got a feel for how things would go.

I head to her office, walking up the rickety wooden stairs, and clearing my throat when I see her sitting at her desk. It's doubtful she's working, but her head is bent down, analyzing something. She looks up at me, her gaze finding mine, and she nods her head in greeting.

"Eric. This is a surprise. I thought you'd be with Everly."

There's a stress on Everly's name, and my assumptions are correct. I know Johanna doesn't like me, and I don't care. My goal is to keep her faction safe, not make her my best friend. But this stress seems to come from the fact that I'm here and not with Everly.

"She went to see her mother. She wanted some time alone." I answer, and I walk toward her desk. I'd been here a few times, always met with great resistance, and I expected nothing less today.

"I see." Johanna eyes me up and down, and she motions at the empty chair in front of her desk. "Have a seat. It looks like there's something on your mind."

I nod, sitting down carefully. I keep my posture formal and not at all relaxed. I remind the both of us I'm not here on business, but I'm certainly not here for fun.

"I have to admit, I wasn't expecting you to show up." Johanna aimlessly moves some papers on her desk, and I catch sight of the Dauntless logo on them. They are, no doubt, the ones from when Everly was here with Max. "I wasn't even expecting her to come back. We called, because Hank asked for her, but we took great pains to remind him she might not return home."

"This isn't her home anymore."

I answer without thinking, and my words are petty considering we're here for a death.

Johanna eyes me intently and she manages to maintain her patient expression.

"I'm well aware this isn't her home anymore. We all know she's…very happy in Dauntless. Your marriage to her was big news here." Johanna answers just as quickly, and I detect a hint of something in her words.

Disapproval.

"Great." I answer flatly, and Johanna manages a small smile.

"It's wonderful that she's back. I'm sure her mother will be happy to see her. As will her brothers and sisters. This isn't an easy time for them."

"I'm sure." I look at her, and Johanna looks right at me.

"Why are you here, Eric? You want to know something. I can tell. I'll give you the answer if I can." She offers, and I'm immediately suspicious. "All you have to do is ask."

"Why did he want to see her? Why did he call?" I ask, and Johanna cocks her head at me. For a long time, she is silent, and she pushes the papers even further away from her. "If she were anywhere else, she wouldn't have been able to come back here."

"You and I know that. He wasn't very coherent when he asked for her, and it was obvious he knew he was dying. That he didn't have much time left. When she left Amity, he wasn't happy. She was his first daughter. They were always close, until he realized she wasn't going to stay here. Imagine your child seemingly denouncing everything you'd taught them. It was bad enough he caught wind that she was not only leaving, but for Dauntless. Everything he'd taught her felt like it meant nothing."

"Did he really think she'd stay here?" I entertain the thought, and I hate it. "Even though he knew she wasn't happy?"

"No." Johanna answers firmly. "It's very easy to tell when someone isn't content with this way of life. For some, the quiet and slow pace is what they need. For others, like Everly, it's a life sentence they aren't interested in. He would never ask for her to stay for him, though I'm sure a part of him wished she'd wanted to."

"I see." I stare at her, wondering just what she thought went on in Dauntless. Our life was pretty quiet there. "That doesn't explain why he wanted her to come back. He'd written her off. He didn't even show up to see how she was doing."

I sound oddly defensive, and I am. I think of her, the way her shoulders fell as she told me not a single person would notice if she vanished, and that included Hank. Everyone seems oddly attached to a man who had no interest in his daughter once she didn't follow what he wanted.

"It might have been too painful for them to see her." Johanna squints at me, and frowns. "He wasn't happy she chose Dauntless, and she wasn't happy here. He couldn't fault her for leaving, but he had an idea of how her life should turn out, and in his mind, that didn't include her choosing another faction. That doesn't mean he didn't want to say goodbye to her."

I say nothing. I lean back in the chair, staring at the dust drifting down from the rafters.

"You seem very, very protective of her." Johanna says slowly, and my stare returns to her. "I'm grateful for that. Especially now."

I squint back at her.

"Why now?"

"I think you're aware of the things that go on. You do oversee the soldiers who patrol through here, don't you? Your name is on half the requests I get."

I nod, and I realize she's answering what I hadn't asked. I wonder if she knows it, or if she's messing with me.

"I'll do whatever I can to keep her safe." I announce far too loudly, and Johanna nods.

"I have little doubt you will. For now."

"What does that mean?" I snap, and she looks right at me.

"Everyone has a breaking point Eric. Yours will come soon enough. You've trained Everly well. I'm sure she's able to survive on her own."

I stare at her, and something scrapes up my spine, inch by inch.

"What are you-"

"Her mother's name is Eden. Her house is down on the left. I'm sure someone will help you if you get lost." Johanna continues on, and her tone implies she's done with this conversation. "I wish I had time to talk more, but I'm sure you want my approval on these issues you sent."

She holds up the papers and smiles.

"What are you trying to say?" I demand, but Johanna barely blinks. "You said my breaking point will come soon. What are you implying?"

"It will. It always does. Grief is a funny thing, Eric. It's clear you've never experienced it." She pauses, and she smiles. Kindly. "Thank you for stopping by. I'll see you at the dinner if you both decide to stay. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a few things to tie up. Your latest email said you needed these sooner rather than later."

She dismisses me, turning to the computer she rarely turns on, and I watch her. She's hiding something, clearly, but I can't figure out what. I can't even begin to put it together, especially because she's right. I have no clue how to handle Everly's grief, but I'll do whatever it is I can to help her.

Johanna ignores me, only smiling blandly when I stand up, and stalk out of her office.

I call Karl while I walk, instructing him to call every available member he has.

 

 

Eden smiles at me, her gaze warm and welcoming even if the rest of the faction isn't.

Sure, it's prompted by a heavy dose of peace serum, probably far more than necessary, but she still smiles in my direction, pleased as ever to meet me.

I joined Everly and her mother for lunch after finding Everly walking along with her on my way back from Johanna's office. I had to admit I felt both enraged at Johanna's words, and edgy that she seemed to hint something was coming. Karl had readily called in everyone he could, and he'd assigned them to search the woods for anything suspicious. I wanted to leave immediately, a large part of me gearing up for something that I wasn't even sure about, but I couldn't. I'd promised Everly we'd stay, and I was keeping my word.

I'm jerked back to the present when Everly and I sit down at the small table, and her mother sits next to her. The lunch here is dismal at best; mostly vegetarian items, plenty of salads, and a few selections of bread I shove away from me. I eat a few bites here and there, my arm touching Everly's every so often, trying to figure out who Everly looks like. I'd never seen Hank but I was seeing Eden, and Everly looked nothing like her.

Her mother stares at me like she's looking right through me.

Her gaze is unnerving, if not heavily medicated. She examines every inch of me; my hair, my face, my uniform. My hand on Everly's knee. She seems placated when Everly leans into me, gently pushing a glass of water at me.

She and her mother are the only two who don't seem bothered by my presence.

Not that I care.

That doesn't mean I can't feel the dislike of this entire faction creep back up the longer I sit here. All around us is a swirl of colored fabrics and glossy gazes, all flitting in our direction. My black uniform stands out and so does my wedding ring.

Eventually, it's all Eden focuses on while we eat.

 

 

The celebration starts hours after it was supposed to.

The disorganization feels appropriate for Amity, but there's little I can do about it. Everly had disappeared after lunch. Her mother had grabbed her elbow and guided her in the opposite direction of where I wanted her to go. I didn't say a word. I watched her throw me a look over her shoulder, one I couldn't read, shrugging as they walked along, and I shrugged right back. I went back to where we had spent the night. Someone had cleaned up the room, and I sat on the edge of the bed, reading my messages.

For once, they are surprisingly nice.

A few from Arlene, having taken full advantage of not being blocked. Jason. Rylan. Jack. One from Max, telling me to take all the time I need, but also sneakily sort of asking if he could use Everly's name in the promotional material for the faction. Daniel, very politely asking that I call him when I return to Dauntless and I could always stop by on the drive home as if it wasn't in the opposite direction I needed to go.

Karl, informing me he was putting in overtime for him and his patrol squads.

Karl, also telling me that Harrison kept trying to reroute the patrols.

Karl, then informing me he had given in because Harrison had more guns than he had.

I call Rylan, only because he's sent six of them, and I owed him for letting me know Everly was here.

"Hey, how's it going?" He asks, and I can hear the noise of the mess hall around him. "Is she okay?"

"It's…going." I answer, sighing heavily as I stare out the window. "She seems alright for now, but there's some…celebration thing she's supposed to go to. I can't tell if she wants to, she's staying because everyone seems to be guilting her into going to it."

"Weird." Rylan takes a drink of something, and I can hear someone yell his name. "She probably wants to stay but wants to leave, you know. She's nice that way. Tell her I'm sorry. I watched her when she left Dauntless. She looked pretty upset."

"Yeah, turns out her dad didn't want her leaving Amity. I don't think she thought this would happen." I watch the forest through the window, the branches of the trees swaying under the weight of the wind. "She's doing as okay as one could expect. Any word from the patrols?"

"Nah. Karl hasn't found anything. We pulled everyone we could. Even Harrison went. But we came up empty handed. I had breakfast with Karl. He said she like, cryptically hinted something was happening then stopped talking. You think Johanna was fucking with you?"

"Something like that." I hate that I sound irritated, but I am. "I got the impression she's involved but I don't know with what."

"You think she's helping the factionless?" Rylan asks, and then he laughs. "Fuck, by the way, Jack called me. He said he didn't want to bother you, but he could talk with me. He wouldn't shut up for an hour. I had to hang up on him so I could eat lunch."

"I'm sure." I roll my eyes, and I look at my watch. "Just remind him I don't need his help right now and he should stay put. What about Jeremy? Did he go along?"

"Nah, that fucker is quiet. I haven't seen him all day. I did see Arlene. She wanted to know when you'll be back and if you opened her gift."

"Hopefully, tonight. And tell her no. I was thinking of mailing it to Four." I retort, stretching my head from side to side. "Hey, uh. Can you do me a favor? When you have time, can you pull a report on Everly's family? See who they are. Everyone is all worked up over her father, but I can't ever remember hearing anything about him."

"Yeah, will do. I'll do it tonight. I gotta head back to my office anyway. I told Jack I'd call him back so I blocked out six hours."

"Thanks." I mutter, and he says a quick goodbye. He hangs up right after, and I sit on the bed, wondering what I should do next. I want to leave, because I have this looming, uneasy feeling we should get out of Amity. Like if we don't leave now, we never will. I decide I should go find Everly, instead of sitting here and doing nothing.

Luckily for me, Everly returns a second later. She walks in slowly, her arms wrapped around herself, and her expression grim.

When she meets my stare, I know things are about to get rough.

Johanna was right. I know nothing about her grief, and judging from the look on her face, it isn't about to go away overnight.

 

 

 

Like the storm threatening in the air, Everly's grief worsens as the day wears on.

Her other friend, the one who is less blonde and seemingly dumber, shows up with an armful of clothes for her to wear. Everly takes them all in with a strange look on her face, and she glances over at me as she slowly pulls out the darkest one she can find. It's odd that the Amity would choose to turn to the dark side to celebrate the death of their loved ones. Everly's own dark clothes have become a symbol of the person she's become. She might favor her choice of pale and pretty dresses, but in her Dauntless uniform, there is power and meaning to her.

It's unfortunate that here, the dark clothes are symbolic of death.

Her friend leaves after several tense moments of standing there while Everly went off to change. She'd eyed me with a friendly apprehension; remembering me from sulkily buying Everly flowers, but once again, I'm the reason her friend was not here for her father's death. We stood in amicable, mutual reserve for each other, and only when Everly returned wearing the dark dress, did her friend murmur a goodbye in my direction. She looked at Everly sorrowfully, and I blinked when she muttered my name in the same sentence.

Like she was obligated to include me.

I'd struggled with the feeling that I shouldn't be here. That I didn't have the right to witness the faction at such a time. But I wasn't here for them, I was here for my wife, and I wouldn't let them forget that. I'd spent the afternoon doing a whole lot of nothing, simply waiting until Everly had returned from her mother's. I passed my time by working, relieved when Rylan's call broke the silence.

He'd called me not too long after lunch, and he'd told me what he'd found.

His own curiosity had won out over Jack's pressing phone call. He'd pulled up anything he could find on the Carlen family, and he shared it with the mirrored disdain I was feeling. Her father had worked in the fields, never quite specializing in the agricultural area, but he knew enough that he often took on new members under his wing and taught them whatever they needed to know. From what Rylan found, he was easy to get along with, he loved his family fiercely, and he found comfort in the Earth.

Her mother was a nutcase.

Rylan had sounded like he was trying not to laugh when he said she believed in treating everything naturally, and she was often the "go to" for medical issues. They looked at her as a specialist, if a specialist believed teas and oil concoctions would fix everything. It explained their lack of a proper infirmary, their reluctance in medical treatment, and why Everly had been confused when I took her to see Arlene.

He'd hung up by snickering that the Carlen family was large, and not a single one of them had ever left Amity. For generations. Everly was the first and only one, and suddenly, everything made sense.

It meant their family ties were huge. Their roots in Amity went back years, and it explained why everyone in the faction was affected by the loss of Everly's father and her abrupt departure.

It also meant that Everly's nails were digging into my skin while we walked, hard enough that I expected her to draw blood. We'd left in silence, and she'd reached for me the second we stepped outside the door. She walked closely to me, and I glanced down every so often to see her leaning in, like she could vanish into me if she got close enough. Her borrowed dress was not at all weather appropriate, and she shivered with every step.

We walked beneath heavy clouds, through sharp winds that skated right off the surface the lake, until the area where the celebration was being held came into view. I squinted at it, taking in the groups of tables that had been set up, the large bonfire in the middle, the dark lanterns that hung in the trees, and the people milling around. There are plenty of Amity scurrying to set up the tables, even though it is far later than we'd been told.

I watch curiously as some set down bunches of flowers they'd brought with them, and I notice there are large groups of white flowers everywhere. The tables are set with dark blue plates, and they do their best to light candles, which are almost instantly put out by the wind.

The atmosphere is fairly upbeat, meant to honor a loved member of their faction. You can feel the appreciation for Hank that swirls through the air, even beneath their somber expressions. I watch as a few children run by, and a few lag behind them. They are older, and they don't look quite so thrilled. One has the same expression Everly does, and her tangled blonde hair hangs in her face as she walks. Someone takes her by the elbow, and she looks up miserably, refusing to smile as the woman hands her a few baskets of wildflowers.

I watch them intently, until Everly yanks on my hand. She's stopped walking, and I look down at her in surprise.

She's frozen in place.

Her expression is of utter defeat, and she pulls me back closer to her. The look on her face tells me she'd rather be anywhere than here, and I can't blame her.

"You don't want to go?" I ask quietly, but it's not like anyone can hear us. We're far enough away that they haven't even noticed our near arrival. I wait for her to answer, but Everly only shakes her head, and her lips are pressed tightly together.

She looks pale, her skin translucent even in the waning sunlight. I realize all I want is to take her home, far away from here, where the display of affection and sorrow is too much.

"Okay." I nod at her, only looking away as a group of people walk past us. Their arms are full of trays of food; it's all neatly arranged, all kinds of pastries, cakes, and cupcakes. They nod at Everly and I, missing my fingers laced between hers, and they politely go around us when we don't move. "Do you want to sit out this dinner or do you want to go home?"

I turn back to her, and she's staring up at me with a hopeless expression on her face. Like the idea of coming here and staying had been just fine, but actually doing so- walking right into her former faction and mourning the loss of her father in a large, eager group isn't what she had in mind.

I could have guessed this.

While social, she was just as content as I was to retreat from the Dauntless faction. She seemed to enjoy the quiet and the silence just as much as she liked being out. There was an ease in being home with her, and I wonder if she'd prefer to head home and process this, rather than being forced to smile and eat dessert.

"I don't know. I just want…" She pauses as another group of members walks by, ones older than I've seen around here. They eye the both of us with great, well-mannered interest. They smile sympathetically at Everly, and they do their best not to frown at me. They look at my uniform, then back at Everly, and I can't tell if they're happy I'm with her, or as dismayed as they can be.

"Everly?"

She's still quiet. She watches them from beneath her hair, and her fingers tighten on mine.

My chest tightens at the look on her face, and I step closer to her, so no one can see that she's standing there.

"Do you want me to take you back to Dauntless? I'll take you home if that's what you want." I reach for her with my other hand, very easily pulling her close to me. I can tell by the way her shoulders bow down that she has no desire to take another step toward the group. "Just tell me what you want me to do."

Every looks up at me and she tries very hard to smile.

It doesn't work.

Her eyes are holding back the tears that have been threatening since she got dressed, and her whole face crumples as she steps forward. I'm sure, in her mind, this feels like the ultimate betrayal. She'd come this far, doing her best to deal with everything in a polite and gracious manner, but it's clear it's overwhelming. Her hurt, whether it be by her father's death or her sudden regret at leaving on bad terms, is too much.

Her head hits my chest, and the tiny, muffled gasp as she gives in to the urge to cry hurts. I swallow as I press her against me, one of my hands on her shoulder blades, and I hold onto her as the wind picks up.

She stays this way, her face buried in my jacket, sniffing until she can speak.

"Can we just go home?" She whispers the words, like speaking them is too painful.

I nod, and I loosen my grip just enough that she can look up. Behind us, there is a smatter of applause, and people begin to cheer at something. It suddenly feels wrong, celebrating her father's loss of life when she doesn't want to. I brush her hair out of her eyes and look down at her. I can't deny the relief that's washing over me, any more than I can deny the fact that I want to take her home. "Let's head back and get your things."

"Okay."

Everly sounds unlike herself, and it takes her a minute to let go of me. I step away first, giving those watching the allusion that I'm the one who wants to leave, and I'm fine with that. They can hate me all they want, but I won't force her to go sit through a dinner if she doesn't want to.

She catches my hand as we near the guest house, and I don't hesitate to hold onto her tightly, right as a heaviness settles into my chest.

 

 

 

On the way out, no one stops us, except for her ex-boyfriend.

I suppose having gone all this time without seeing him was lucky enough. But that shitty luck runs out as we near where I've parked the truck.

Landon comes out of nowhere.

Like he's been waiting here to see if she'd leave. Like he knew she wouldn't stay, or even better, like he was hoping he'd catch me forcing her away.

I squint at him as he approaches us, but for once, he's not interested in her. His gaze doesn't even fall to her. He comes right up to me, his hair a wild mess and his expression smug. He blocks our exit by stopping in the middle of the pathway, widening his stance and holding his hand up as though he has the authority to keep us here. I notice he looks different than I remember, even more unkempt and sort of feral.

Ages ago, I'd watched him kiss Everly in a desperate attempt to get her to return to him. He'd been gentle, but insistent. His expression was of deep hurt, like she'd stabbed him in the chest when she left and that was his one chance to win her back. I could now say I understood his feelings, and I could almost sympathize with him.

Until he speaks.

"Leaving so soon? Let me guess, Eric here's gotta get back to Dauntless and he's dragging you along with him." He pauses to look at me, and he's close enough that he's nearly touching my jacket. "Nice husband you got there. Won't even let you mourn the loss of your own father. You really know how to pick 'em Everly."

She blinks.

I stare at him, watching his Amity nature become overpowered by something else.

"Did you hear me?"

When he doesn't get the response he wants, he looks right at her.

I don't think she heard him.

Everly stays quiet, doing her best not to give in to him. When she finally looks up, his expression turns triumphant. Like he's finally gotten to say what he wanted to say for a long time, and he stands behind it. For someone so peaceful and calm, he looks violent in this moment, especially the way he's primed toward both of us.

He smiles, and I can feel the want coming from him. But it's not her he wants. It's me. He's trying to provoke me, so I'll prove everything he's said.

I immediately dismiss him.

He's of no importance to me or Everly.

"Are you done here?" I ask him, and I stare him down. There's something rising up in him, a dark anger that I would bet he works hard to keep hidden, and it boils beneath his skin.

Like it's been there all along, and he's no longer able to keep it under control.

"Does she know?" He looks right at me, brave and wild as he leans in unsteadily. "Does she know that you're simply an asshole who doesn't give a shit about her? "

Beside me, I can feel Everly stiffen at his words. She looks up to see my expression before staring at Landon like she can't believe he's saying these things to her. I could come to my own defense, snarling and hissing at him to fuck off, but before I can say anything, Everly interrupts.

"I decided to go home. I've said my goodbyes here."

I watch him carefully, and it's not what he expected to hear.

Landon's expression changes to complete and utter hatred. There is no other way to describe the look on his face. His expression is familiar, and so is the way his hands clench into fists. It's clear he assumed I was the one who wouldn't let her stay, the one who pulled her away from here. His sneer darkens, and Everly notices.

"It's a little weird for you to be so outwardly angry. Are you sure you're okay, Landon?" Everly cocks her head at him, and her arm touches mine.

I find myself leaning closer, in front of her, in an unconscious attempt to keep the space between them.

Landon laughs in her face, and I give him another second before I punch the life out of him. "You're so naïve it isn't even funny. Shame on you for letting Eric take away the sweet girl you once were."

He takes a step back, smiling his disapproval. "It was nice knowing you. Sorry that I wasted all those years of my life with you."

While his words shouldn't bother her, for she'd told me she never loved him, I can tell they don't feel good. Everly sucks in a deep breath and her stare drops. I share the same moment of rage she does. He has no clue about anything she's done, nor would he ever be able to wrap his mind around it. He has no right to speak to her in such a way, especially today.

Before I can shut him up once and for all, Everly lunges for him, and she punches him right in the face. My eyes widen in surprise. She barely comes up to his chest, but she hits him right where she wants to, just like I'd shown her all those times. With perfect form, and just the right amount of annoyance. Landon stumbles back a step and his hands fly up to his nose. He pulls them away to discover they're now bloody, and he looks up at her in slow shock.

"What the hell?" He yells, and I can see something in him snap. She's furthered the distance between the Everly he remembers and the one he wants. He reacts violently; he moves to grab Everly, his well hidden rage now clear as day, and I step between them without thinking. I grasp him by the throat, lifting him simultaneously, and I dig my fingers into his skin until he whimpers. It's easy to hold him in place, and I stare at him, wondering if he knew how much restraint it was taking for me not to kill him.

Say what you want to me, but it'll be a cold day in hell before he hurts Everly.

"Come at my wife again and I'll make sure you don't have too many more years of your life left." I hiss the words, and I watch as his face turns red. There's blood smeared across his cheeks now, and he struggles to breathe as I tighten my grip further. When I'm sure I've made my point, and his eyes begin to turn glassy, I shove him to the side. He lands just like every other one of my enemies: gracelessly, with the life nearly gone from him.

Landon coughs as the air returns to his lungs, and Everly lets out a sharp exhale of surprise. She looks over at me, and I reach for her blindly.

I slide my fingers between hers, silently reassuring her that not only am I proud of her, her actions were warranted. I glance down and turn her hand over, fairly sure her knuckles will be bruised tonight. I pull her hand up to examine it, and I gently touch her fingers. I know they must hurt, but it's nothing a little ice won't fix.

She smiles tightly, and when I'm sure she's alright, I tug her back toward the direction we were heading. The two of us ignore Landon. He's back on his feet, attempting to keep pressure on his still bleeding nose, and he swears at her as we walk away. He curses her name endlessly, his tone changing to a hurt howl, but she doesn't flinch.

I keep her close to me, my fingers tight between hers, and neither of us look back.

 

 

 

We return to Dauntless just as the sky turns black.

Everly stays in the truck after I park it, her gaze somewhere far out the window. Her eyes are red and swollen, and her hair has fallen out of the bun she'd put it in. I open her door, eyeing her as she wordlessly undoes the seatbelt. She looks down at me, and her lips part open like she wants to say something.

She doesn't.

Maybe she can't.

I reach for her, helping her down by grasping her waist and pulling her down from the truck as gently as I can. Her boots hit the ground with a thud, and she's pressed right up against my chest. She tilts her head up to blink at me, and I keep my hands on her, sliding them up her back.

"Is it wrong I didn't stay? I didn't even say goodbye to my mother."

She looks at me like I have all the answers, and I don't. But I shake my head no, ignoring the sounds of a patrol group returning from their route.

"No. You went and said what you wanted to. You saw your father. You saw your mother. I don't think anyone could have expected anything more of you. Some people wouldn't have even gone home." I point out slowly.

Everly nods her head, the stray strands of her hair spilling everywhere.

"I just don't want anyone to think I didn't love him. I did." She pauses and both of her hands grasp the front of my jacket. "But I couldn't stay there. You saw that. That's not…me. It never was."

"I know."

My answer is heavy, the thought of her in Amity always a nick to a rushing vein, and I bend my head down to hers.

"He knew, Everly. Even if you didn't say it, or you never went back, he would have known you loved him."

My words are heavy and warm, reminding her that she was the kindest person I'd ever met. She nods against my forehead, and one of her hands slides behind my neck. She rises up on her toes, kissing me slowly, and she breaks away with a pained expression.

"Thank you, Eric. Thank you for…for staying with me. It meant a lot."

I nod, and I only turn away when someone comes to check in the truck. The man greets us, unaware of what he's interrupted, but I'm not entirely mad. It's cold out here, Everly looks like she needs a drink of something not made with ginger ale and maybe a hot shower. I acknowledge him as I take hold of Everly's hand and walk back into Dauntless with her.

She's quiet the entire time, and she grows even quieter when she walks into my bedroom with her head down.

 

 

 

"Did you guys know…" Rylan pauses dramatically, chewing his eggs with great enthusiasm. Then he takes another bite, then another. "That…"

"That what? Just say it already." Jason glares at him, not at all enthused at our early morning breakfast. "It's six am and it's too early for trivia hour."

Rylan grins, taking a slow and deliberate drink of his orange juice. He stalls, knowing full well we're waiting.

"Okay, fuckface. Just say it. No one cares, I can guarantee it." Jason glares at him and stabs his waffle with a steak knife "You've been gloating that you have some big news to share and Eric is finally here so spit it out or leave this table."

"Why would I leave? There's nowhere else to sit." Rylan throws him a defensive look, glancing around quickly. "Actually, the only other person in here is…aw, fuck. It's Four. I'm not sitting with him. I have standards."

I snort as I drink my coffee. From a table not so far away from us, Four throws Rylan a withering stare, and I'll bet it takes everything in him not to storm out of here.

Rylan had started calling at five. I'd opened up my eyes to pitch blackness, a vibrating cell phone, and a wife who made a noise that sounded like a cross between the start of her crying again and her sudden blood lust aimed at whoever woke her up. I'd told her to go back to sleep. She'd spent most of the night with her head on my chest, and her eyes closed. Nothing I said made anything better, but that was nothing new. She wasn't hungry. She wasn't tired. She was cold, but she wasn't that cold unless you counted her freezing hands. She didn't want to lie down, but she did. She didn't want me to leave but she didn't want me to say anything.

She simply wanted me, beneath her, listening to her pretend she wasn't crying.

Eventually, she'd fallen asleep. She wore my shirt to bed, skipping over the pretty nightgowns in favor of something warmer, and she'd sunk against me like she had no energy left.

I had no clue what to do, but I figured this was what she wanted. We laid there for hours, until her breathing slowed down, and I'd fallen asleep because I was trapped.

But Rylan's call had been insistent, ignoring the fact that I'd just returned from Amity, and that Jason rarely rose before the sun was up. Rylan announced he needed to see us both in the next hour, and he mentioned Quinten was starting a new breakfast menu we could try out.

I'd shrugged my way out from beneath Everly, catching a glimpse of her sad face beneath my sheets, and I'd kissed her forehead without thinking. I told her I'd be back in a bit, and to go back to bed. I'd dressed in the dark, then headed down to meet a grinning Rylan and a scowling Jason. Where we now sat, waiting for Rylan to reveal his grand announcement.

Which apparently was second only to his announcement that he'd never eat breakfast with Four. Ever.

"I'd rather eat off the floor than eat with Four." Rylan half sings, winking at Four when he sighs heavily.

"I can hear you. I'm one table over. And thank you, but I'd prefer you didn't eat with me. So, you can stay over there." Four retorts, and his sunny disposition slips away as he crankily takes a drink of whatever it is he's drinking. I idly wonder how no one has poisoned him yet.

"Wow, that must really hurt your feelings, Rylan. Four doesn't want you to eat with him." Jason mocks and he starts laughing when Rylan looks insulted.

"Wait, that's rude. Why wouldn't he want to eat with me?" He slams his fork down and throws both hands up at Four. "Really, you don't want to eat with me? Really, Four? That's how it is?"

"Yes." Four answers flatly. "I want to eat in peace. Which is why I came down here so early."

"Oh, sorry for eating in your mess hall." Rylan fires back in a high pitched voice. "Excuse us, your majesty. You can't sit with us anyway."

"You can't just tell people they can't sit with you. Technically, this is open seating." Jason points out, and I lose all my patience.

"Rylan, why are we here?" I interrupt. Normally, I'd enjoy watching them harass Four until he got up and left, but I felt tired, beyond tired, and I still had no idea what to do once Everly woke up. "I want to get back before Everly's up and wondering where I went."

"It's about her." Rylan flips off Four, who rolls his eyes. "Did you know that tomorrow…" He pauses again, and Jason looks ready to stab him. "is her birthday."

The room is silent.

Well, really- it's only the three of us, plus Four who is doing his best to look like he's not listening since he doesn't want to sit with us.

I stare at him, then over at Rylan until he cocks his head at me.

"I can't tell if you did or did not know that."

I glare at him.

I can only assume he discovered this on his report. I badly want to tell him yes, I knew. I'd seen it written on her transfer papers, proving she was old enough to have taken the test and chosen Dauntless. I'd seen it on her report from the infirmary, and I'd seen it written in the card with the condoms that undoubtably had holes poked in them, with a note from Arlene to celebrate our birthdays safely.

I just hadn't really thought about it.

Especially now.

"I don't think Everly is in any mood to celebrate." I point out, and Jason looks up curiously.

"Why? What happened? Was it the baby thing? I heard about that from this dude who came to show me the wonders of our new software. He mentioned you were-"

"No." I slam my coffee cup down just as Four snaps his head up. "That's not why. It's because her father died two days ago. I don't think she's in the mood to eat onion rings with either of you."

"Wow, okay well that cut deep." Rylan pushes his plate away and crosses his arms over his chest. "You know, I have to say, I'm really not enjoying this breakfast at all."

"Me either." I announce.

"Me either." Four echoes, and I throw him one very annoyed grimace.

"Thank you for bringing it up, but I don't think she wants to be around anyone. She's mostly just…sad."

"Well yeah," Jason looks at me like I've lost my mind. "I'm sure she's not feeling great. We can celebrate later. It's not like she's going anywhere."

"Fine by me." I answer, and I finish my coffee quickly. "In a few weeks. I'll…arrange something. I'll make dinner and you guys can come over."

"Alright." Rylan agrees, having recovered from his least favorite breakfast ever. "Fine. Tell her Happy Birthday from us. And don't you dare not do it. I'm going to ask her."

"I'm all over it." I roll my eyes, and I stand up and grab my plate. "I'll see you guys later."

"Later." Jason echoes, and he stands up as well. "I'm going back to bed. I'll see you in the office."

"Fine. But I'm finishing my breakfast." Rylan keeps eating, waving us both off. Jason and I walk to put the plates away, and I smirk when I see Rylan sitting there.

He and Four are both facing each other, at different tables, silently eating their breakfast.

Together.

After all.

 

 

 

Everly's birthday is rougher than I'd like.

For starters, I wake up with the nagging feeling that I should have done something. Or arranged something. At the very least, brought it up to her. But I hadn't, because Everly had looked half alive, and every time I asked her something, she looked up at me like I was speaking another language.

I tried not to take it personally.

I could tell she was dealing with her father's death the best she could. She looked more tired than I'd ever seen her, and her crying came out of nowhere. Usually, while she was lying against me, or sometimes while she was sitting there, out of the blue, until it seemed like she couldn't cry anymore.

That was when she started again.

With some not so gentle prodding from me, Max had given her time off. He'd hastily told me she could have as long as she needed, and there was no rush for her to return back if she wasn't ready. I'd thanked him for his generous act of kindness, but there was some panic behind his words, and I knew he didn't know what to do with her either.

The sight was startling.

From the moment I'd met her, Everly had been optimistic. Even when I was glaring at her, refusing to train this tiny thing from Amity, she'd been sweet. Cheerful. Adorably confused over where she should sleep. Even when things got her down, and it took a lot of them to really bother her, she'd pushed through them. But this wasn't something trivial, and it wasn't something temporary.

It was the permanent loss of her father, something no one would ever be able to fill.

There was no one who'd ever replace Hank, no matter what her relationship with him had been. I could see it in the hollowness of her stare, the way she pulled at the pink polish someone had painted her nails with, chipping away at it until it was gone. The way she seemed swallowed up by everything: her hair, my sheets, her sundress, myself.

This Everly, one who looked so unsure and so distraught, threw me off. I tried to imagine myself in her shoes, but I could only conjure up images of burning disappointment and sticky resentment. I quickly moved on to making sure Everly knew I would do whatever she wanted, and I felt a speck of ridiculous guilt when her birthday was blessed by a tremendous snow storm.

If she was cold before, she would surely be freezing now.

On this particularly shitty and icy day, I left her sitting on the couch while I ran a few quick errands. I swallowed my pride and called Linda as I made my way down the stairs, asking for a favor that made me want to gouge my eyes out. She readily agreed to help, and I'd hung up before she could get too excited. Once done with everything I needed to do, I went home to grab Everly, and more or less insisted she come along to lunch with me.

It was then that I'd handed her a dark envelope and told her she could open it at Clyde's.

She'd looked at me with the barest hint of amusement, her eyes flitting over the black square in my hands with a knowing look on her face.

It most definitely was a bribe, and she most definitely took it.

We walked to Clyde's together, and with each step I felt like she looked a little better. Her hair was down and while her leggings and shirt were dark, she didn't look like she'd dressed to show off her crummy mood. Her fingers touched mine as we walked, until I slid my fingers between hers. I walked us to the booth Linda had reserved as though it would be slammed in here, ignoring the few stragglers that were in here, and I pulled Everly right next to me.

Now, I sit with her pressed right up against my side, so close she might as well be on my lap. She sighs as she sinks against me, and she toys with the envelope in front of her.

I felt foolish giving it to her. I felt foolish buying it, even though I shouldn't. I returned the cashier's piercing stare, and I'd pretended I wasn't aware that she was dying to comment that she knew who it was for. There was only one person in this faction I'd ever buy a card for, and if this cashier enjoyed having two hands that were intact, she'd forget she saw me down here.

"Can I open this now?" Everly asks, and she tilts her head up slightly.

I nod, examining the napkin in front of me while she gently pries the envelope open.

I swear it takes her ten minutes. She finally pulls the card out, nearly identical to the one she'd given me, and her shoulders pull up while she reads it. I try not to watch her; I only glance out of the corner of my eye, ignoring the hot stabbing feeling that had begun to explode in my head.

She reads the card slowly, occasionally tilting her head as she leans in, and especially when she gets to the end.

Other than wishing her a Happy Birthday, squinting as I realized my wife was all of nineteen years old, I had written that I loved her.

It looked different on paper than it did in my mind.

I had expected it to look black and white, a simple phrase that anyone could have written to her without much thought.

But it hadn't; my precise lettering faltered when I wrote it, giving way to reveal it wasn't something I had written-ever. I hope she knew I meant it, that I'd always mean it, no matter what.

"Thank you. You didn't have to do that. I didn't…I didn't think we'd celebrate." Everly cranes her head up to look at me, and she smiles. It's not as bright as I'm used to seeing, but it's the best I've seen in days.

"You did say your birthday was the best time of all. Even…even now we should at least have a nice dinner." I remind her, and she smiles just a little bigger. Her expression changes considerably, and I push her bangs off her face. "At least we could have dessert."

I smile down at her, even though I feel incredibly uncomfortable. Logically, I shouldn't. I can celebrate her birthday and I can share cake with her. I'm capable of being nice, despite what everyone thought of me. Up until now, there was simply no one I wanted to be nice to.

But now, there's no reason to feel out of place when I'm sitting next to my wife. It's my own annoying thinking, that this isn't right to want to make sure she's okay, when it is.

It has been right this whole time.

I look down at Everly, fully prepared to say something else -that I'd already had her dessert ordered and I had cleared my schedule for the rest of the day. That I planned for us to do absolutely nothing and everything she wanted us to. I fully planned on telling her all of this, until I get the feeling someone is watching me.

I look up slowly, paranoia ripping my stare away from Everly and up to the bar.

I was right.

I'm rewarded with the sight of our waitress, Lucy, gaping at us alongside her manager. They're both leaned against the high bar top, idly eating a plate of food, while staring at the back of Everly's head. Their posture hints they've been there for a minute, watching Everly open up her card as though they'd never seen such a sight.

I keep my stare on them, until I can pinpoint the exact moment they realize they've been caught. They freeze, looks of pure horror washing over them, and they know I won't forget this. Ever. I won't let them.

I see spots of red.

Everly disappears in front of me, and all I can see is Lucy's neck, snapped to the side, along with her hideous friend.

Lucy's stare is glued to Everly, even in her panic. Her mouth opens as she hits her friend with her elbow, and this was exactly why I kept my private life private.

They had no clue what was going on. Everly and I were not some show for them to watch, or something to gossip about when things got slow in the bar.

I open my mouth to say something, ready to snarl at them even from a distance 'good fucking luck surviving after I dragged both of them out of here', but my plans are interrupted by Everly. She reaches up to touch both sides of my face, oblivious to the two dumbasses watching her. She pulls me down to her level so she can kiss me. It takes her a single second to recapture my attention. Her lips press gently, then forcefully enough that I forget about the people watching my life like some soap opera.

"I love you."

She says it again, the words so easy for her to tell me, and my chest tightens.

I return them the best I can, keeping my eyes on her until a different waitress comes by to take our order.

 

 

 

She's quiet for days.

To anyone else, her silence would be painful. Unusual. Loaded. But having spent nearly all my time with her on top of me, attempting to stay warm, I know she's alright. Disheartened, but alright. A few times I try to slyly point out the things I think she'll look forward to. Her training the incoming initiates, having regular, normal days off, getting to see the training from an entirely different perspective.

She doesn't react really; she smiles slightly, then sinks back against me and slides her fingers through mine.

The nights grow colder as the storm refuses to let up, and the lights flicker as I walk through the hallways. Everly has left a few times with me, but the word had gotten out that her father had passed away and she was well aware that people knew. She'd caught glimpses of their expressions even though they did their best not to look right at her. I had to admit the faction was appropriately respectful. They might not know a ton about her, or be part of her everyday life, but they were sympathetic.

Even the ones I wouldn't expect.

On the day when Max announces he used a picture of Everly at his speech to showcase her as our success story, Quinten barges into my office. I look up over Max's head, half annoyed he used Everly as a form of propaganda, and half pleased that she was such a success story thanks to me, when he comes in carrying something.

He's quick; he roughly tells me he's sorry for my loss, and I look up to tell him he's made a mistake, when I realize he means Hank. Before I can explain I never even met the man, he carefully slams a giant plate down on my desk, with a large, overly frosted cake on it. It towers high, tiers stacked atop one another, and what I think are supposed to be flowers along the sides. His skills have improved tremendously, and while it still looks like shit, it's fancier than what he serves in the mess hall.

He huffs at me like I'm an idiot, then explains it's for Everly, and Jason had insisted he make it.

I blink in surprise. Quinten looks uncomfortable at my hesitation, but he insists I take it, and even Max looks impressed.

When I give it to Everly that night, she starts crying, big tearful gasps until I give up entirely on trying to figure out women in general.

 

 

 

"Did she eat it all?"

Jason finds me sitting in the conference room, scrolling through nothing on my phone. I'm half reading the messages, half debating on just going home for the day. Everly had looked far better than I'd seen her, and it felt wrong to kiss her goodbye this morning. She'd attended a handful of meetings here and there, and today, she'd smiled widely when I mumbled what sounded sort of like I loved her. The words were hard to accept, harder to think, and nearly impossible to say.

They felt like knives in my throat, but in an entirely pleasant way. Like every time I said them, they scraped away my inability to believe them. The look on her face told me she'd loved me for longer than I'd known, and I was slowly, almost impossibly slowly, coming to terms with it.

"The whole cake? No, she didn't eat an entire cake. I think we had a few pieces and she said she was good for a while."

Jason lets out a grunt of annoyance, and I sigh at his sudden neediness.

"She liked it. I didn't say she didn't. She just… she can't eat an entire cake. Could you?" I cock my eyebrow at him, and he nods.

"Yes, I could. At least she liked it. I wanted to do something…nice." He informs me, flopping down into the seat beside me. "Quinten said he'd help, but I did most of the work. He took credit for it because I had to leave. Did you know he didn't even know how to frost it like that?"

I stare at him, wondering when on Earth Jason had become the master chef of Dauntless.

"I didn't." I answer, and I elbow him. "Thanks for making it. Are you sticking around for a bit? I'm meeting Four."

Jason looks at me with a grin. "I'll stay for that. I have nothing planned. I was meeting Harrison but he canceled. He said something about heading out to a post, but I don't think he realized it's snowing still."

"Maybe he'll freeze out there." I suggest, and I can't help but snicker. "Did he find his…whatever he was hunting?"

"No." Jason sounds mildly disappointed. "He's still upset that Four erased his footage. He's been plotting something else and trying to recruit people to go with him, but he got interrupted when you had Karl send everyone to Amity. Did they find anything?"

"Nah," I shake my head, scrolling past a message from Ashley. I read the subject and decide to skip it. "Minor activity. I think Johanna was bullshitting me. She's lost her mind."

"Speaking of lost minds, why are you meeting Four?" Jason kicks his feet up on the table and looks at me. "You uh, inviting him to hang out?"

"Yeah, I was hoping he'd come over tonight." I delete an email from Jeanine, and I open up one from Jack's assistant. "Everly is working with him tomorrow. She'll be helping to train the new initiates. It's not my idea but she seems enthused about it. So, I'm making sure she stays alive. I'm going to remind him that if he says anything or does anything to endanger her life, I'll make sure he doesn't see the light of day."

Jason looks over at me and rolls his eyes. "She's training a group of newbies. What could possibly go wrong?"

"Well, she's working with Four, so…. everything?" I retort, just as he walks in the room. He takes the seat opposite me and slides some papers across the table.

"I don't have long. Are you ready?" He dares to raise his eyebrow at me, and I raise my own right back.

"Let's see what you've got."

He doesn't smile.

An hour later, Four leaves, disgruntled as ever.

He's been warned to not only make sure his class is successful, but that if anything happens to Everly, I'll shove him into the chasm myself.

 

 

 

On Friday, Harrison returns from his mission. I'm walking with Rylan when I see him come in, covered in snow and wide eyed. He holds up something…what looks like damp fur matted from the snowfall, and he looks triumphant.

He stomps past us, and I swear the thing moves.

Rylan does, too.

He elbows me, and we both look as Harrison heads toward the stairs, and I wonder if he knows he's captured the wild and rare mythical raccoon.

 

 

 

We watch the initiates from the comfort of the control room. Everly sits on my lap, balanced on my knee, her stare fixed on the computer monitors. Jason and Rylan sit on either side of us, and Tris sits by Kacie a few seats down. The atmosphere is cheerful, even as people come in and out of the room to get a glimpse of what's going on. Kacie is working fast to record them all, counting as many as she can and typing them on a list. Once they jump, she'll match them to her list of who received Dauntless as a test result. She'll give me a count, and I'll compare with Tori and Lauren to see how many from the Dauntless faction chose to stay.

It's not a foolproof system. There were people who wound up deflecting, or simply disappearing instead of choosing a faction. It was rare, but it happened. This was the best we could do to keep an idea of the numbers that were coming here, and a necessary way to try and track those who vanished.

We watch as the roof fills up, all sorts of colors smashed together as they wait for their turn to jump. It seems like Max's use of Everly has worked. I've never seen quite so many people vying to come here, and yet they keep spilling out from every direction.

"There are a ton of them. I don't remember this many when I got here." Everly comments, and she shifts so her feet leave the floor. She leans back into me as Four gives a dramatic and terrible speech while someone wobbles on the ledge, and she watches as they finally step off the roof toward the darkness.

"There weren't. We've got record numbers this year." I answer easily, and I toy with the ends of her hair, pulling the strands loose from the braid she'd had it in.

I pull harder as she leans forward, pleased when the braid begins to undo itself.

I hate her hair like this.

It wasn't any of my business how she wore it or what she did with it but twisted up like this reminded me of her friends in Amity. I liked her hair down, because it reminded of my times with just her and I. Her hair was long and pretty, soft between my fingers, and I was determined to undo it before she went down to greet them. I wanted them to see the Everly I saw, the one who would train them.

"Who's at the bottom?" She turns to look at me, giving me a dark look when I reach up higher, pulling the braid apart around the base of her neck.

"Peter. He volunteered to help." It falls apart with some effort, and Everly doesn't look very impressed at my work. Maybe she did mind, but that wasn't going to stop me. I undo it further, and she turns to mock glare at me. Again.

"Peter is the worst introduction to Dauntless one could possibly imagine. Welcome to Dauntless, I'm Peter and I'm here to annoy you for your entire training and the rest of your life." Jason mimics Peter's voice, scrunching up his face in disgust. Everly laughs, giggling when Jason does it again, just to make sure everyone heard him. She misses the dark, unimpressed look from Kacie, and the smallest, poorest excuse of a smile from Tris.

"Is he helping with the training?" Rylan looks at Everly, squinting at her hair. "Did he finally worm his way in?"

"Not that I know of." Everly answers quickly, shaking her head to avoid my fingers. "It's Four, Lauren and myself. No one's mentioned anything about Peter."

"You're not training anyone this time?" Rylan looks at me with a smug grin, watching me yank a section of Everly's hair down. I shrug at him as Everly turns around again, and this time, she attempts to knock my hands away.

"Nah, look what happened last time someone volunteered me to train a class." I knock her hands right back, pleased when she shoots me a defiant glare. "I don't think I can handle a second wife."

This time, she smacks me.

Hard.

Jason laughs so hard he snorts, and I smirk at the both of them.

"Funny." Everly looks right at me, and her eyes are very green. "If I remember correctly, getting married was your idea."

Tris lets out a burst of laughter, the first noise she's made since we got in here. I suppose Everly has a point. I think of this while I roughly pull the rest of her hair down, and it falls around her shoulders. She looks much better now, less like someone wandering in from the Amity fields and more like someone who could easily kick the asses of the initiates.

"I don't hear you complaining." My eyes flick to Tris' screen, a heightened view that shows the remaining two initiates hovering near Four. The braver of the two finally steps on the ledge and looks horrified as he sways on the narrow space. Eventually, he more or less falls, and I watch his silent scream as he disappears off the screen.

It won't be long now, because once the second and final one jumps, she'll need to be down there with Four. It'll be her first official job here in Dauntless, even as part of her leadership training.

I suspect she'll have no issues.

"It's time for you to head down there and meet your new class."

Everly's eyes widen, even more so when I stand up, and gesture for her to follow me.

She stands up straight, brushing her hair off her face. There's no nervousness on her part, only a big smile as she realizes this is it. She wanted to change her life, and she did.

She high fives Jason as she walks by, but she misses the dark and jealous stare from Kacie.

 

 

The initiates pay no attention to Four.

I smirk as I watch them, keeping a careful enough distance away that Everly doesn't think I don't believe she can do this on her own. I simply came down here to be supportive, but also to see just how many initiates there were in person.

I shouldn't have been surprised, because I'd seen them all on the roof, but in person, it looked like far more. An endless amount of people, milling around, taking up every free inch they could find. Their old clothes labeled them from their former factions, and they stick toward the familiar. A quick perusal tells me Max was successful in his mission, because this time, I spy far more lighter colors than usual.

"Fuck me, there's like nine hundred of them."

Jason steps on my foot as he elbows me to get a closer look. If any of them were to turn around and gaze to the left, they'd spy us standing there. We'd found an alcove to lean against, one that was large and dark and just out of Everly's sight.

But they aren't focused on what's behind them.

They aren't focused on the architectural themes of Dauntless either, or the open concept floor plan. They aren't even focused on Four, dully droning on with a speech that he hadn't changed in five years.

They are staring at Everly, gazes glued to her like she was the secret to passing initiation, even as Four talks louder and louder. He doesn't appreciate it when they whisper and nudge each other, and he glares at a few who shriek Everly's name.

"They're gonna have their hands full. Four already looks overwhelmed." Jason elbows me again, grinning when Four frowns. I watch him carefully, noticing the way he sweeps his stare over them, then at Everly. He does look marginally overwhelmed, more so at the thought that he's got to drag them all on a tour of Dauntless, and there was a high chance he'd lose one or two, but he shouldn't worry.

"He's got help. He should be fine." I point out, and we both fall silent as Four and Everly lead them away. She walks right alongside him, easily, without any hesitation. As much as it pains me to admit it, she's absolutely natural next to Four. She has an easy confidence, and she smiles brightly as he motions for them to turn left. She lingers to make sure they've all left, and she rejoins them, walking by a few from Candor.

There's a small commotion as one of the larger transfers stays hot on her heels, and I narrow my eyes at him.

He's got his sights set on her, and he shoves a boy from Candor right out of his way so he can keep up.

 

 

 

"I think we've done well." Max joins Jason and I, and he raises his coffee cup at us. "The numbers are impressive this year."

He'd wandered over after the initiates were fully out of our sight, delighted to find us standing there, talking about how many had shown up.

"Yeah, but what are you going to do with them all?" Jason asks. "We only take on so many. It's a shame that over half of them will end up factionless."

"Half of them. More like two thirds." I point out dryly. "Your plan worked to get them here, but now we'll be adding to the factionless population. We're basically handing them a fuck ton of new members. You really think that's wise right now?"

To his credit, Max looks nervous.

"I know. I've been thinking…about this. Trust me. I'll come up with something." He looks oddly thoughtful for a moment, then smiles brightly. "I hope this goes well for Everly's sake. I'd love for her to take on the position permanently. Peter's been asking, but she's better suited for it."

I stare at him, despising the idea that she'd work with Four forever, and he picks up on it.

"If she likes it. Who knows? She might hate it." Max shrugs.

"She will hate it." Jason defensively answers for me, and he crosses his arms over his chest. "She got a much different training than the one Four does. She's going to think this one is boring."

"Actually, they changed the curriculum." I reluctantly inform him, because it meant this might turn out to be a fantastic class. "Four submitted the outline to me, and it's not entirely his own training. He let Everly add things into it, and it's far more comprehensive now. She took what she learned and added it in. Took a few repeat things out. Lauren declined to use it, so we'll see how her class stacks up."

"I think this will be an exciting time for all of us." Max beams, and I despise how thrilled he looks.

Personally, I hope he's wrong.

For Everly's and my own sake, I hope the training is nothing but smooth sailing and low drama. I hope it bores her to death, and she chooses to do something else.

Far away from Four.

 

 

Dinner is a loud and obnoxious affair that only reaffirms my brilliance of never eating down here.

The mess hall is normally crowded, but tonight, its jam packed with people. Most of Dauntless has turned out to catch a glimpse of who was brave enough to come here, and there are plenty of sneaky looks and knowing grins as the initiates fumble their way through the dinner. They awkwardly sit at tables, grouped together either by their old factions, or with the fast new friends they have made. Not very many of them are eating, and most are looking around with rapt fascination, trying to soak in every detail they can.

Normally, I'd have left already, but since Four was required to be down here, Everly was required to be down here. Since Everly would have to eat with them tonight, I would be forced to choke down the slop Quinten had made as a welcome dinner. I wanted to bark at the ones who were barely eating that they'd better live it up now, because the food wasn't about to get any better.

"Brings back memories, huh?" Peter strolls up out of nowhere, seemingly always around now. He elbows Everly hard enough that she looks up in surprise and he shoves himself right next to Four. He stands tall, even when Four shoots him a withering stare to move away from him. "Doesn't it seem like yesterday that we were sitting down there, eating our first meal in Dauntless, contemplating who would be the first one to go home."

Everly doesn't look like she cares. She shrugs, looking over at me quickly. "I don't. I ate with Eric my first night here."

To my delight, Peter looks confused and Four manages to look even more irritated. I had been his last choice of people he'd ever want to be near Everly, and his little attempt to save her life had pushed her right into my lap. Where she'd made herself entirely too comfortable.

"I didn't know Eric knew how to cook." Peter quips, clearly not seeing me right there.

I knock him out of my way as I walk over to stand right next to Everly. "I didn't know you didn't have to fulfill your patrol shift. Shouldn't you be out on the fence?"

Peter looks over at Everly, and his expression darkens at being called out on having to work. Our patrols were still in full force, and while almost the entire faction was here, there were plenty that were working. "I took the night off. Didn't want to miss out on seeing all the newbies."

"I'm sure they were thrilled to have you." I snicker, enjoying his grimace. As long as I was here, he'd never have anything to do with the initiates. I didn't trust him as far as I could throw him, nor did Jason or Rylan.

Peter is quick to reply, but he's cut off when Max starts his welcome speech. Miraculously, everyone shuts up as he talks, and after a few minutes, it's clear someone else has written it for him. Probably Arlene. Everly listens intently, and I smirk when I remember she never heard it. I'd taken her home right after Max had insisted I train her, robbing her of the chance to see him in action. It was the first year I'd skipped the welcome speech myself, but I found myself preferring it that way.

When Max finishes to a round of enthusiastic cheering, we head to find a table. I spy Tori sitting at one of the less populated ones, so I head that way. I notice plenty of initiates watching Everly walk along, including the boy from earlier. His stare is intense, and he's far larger than anyone at his table. He looms over them, a good head taller than most, staring as Everly takes the seat beside me.

Something pricks at my neck.

Without looking, I reach for Everly, and I yank her over. I forget all about her class watching, or my goal of being slightly easier when I want her close by, and I pull her right up against me. A few of the transfers look surprised, but the boy doesn't. He stares at her like he knows her, and I idly wonder if he's related to Landon.

It would make sense.

He's got an air of dislike hidden behind his stare, similar to Landon's, and that would explain his fascination with her. Maybe he's here to avenge his brother, or maybe he just wanted to get out of Amity just as badly.

Everly scoots closer, and she smiles up at me. "Do you remember eating here your first night in Dauntless?" She takes a plate off the table while she talks, and gingerly selects a hamburger. I can't deny the rush of satisfaction when she wrinkles her nose at the food, and she looks up at me like I'll have brought a secret meal for her to eat.

But her question makes me flash back to my first day in Dauntless, and I am forced to relive sitting at a table just like this, just as impatient for the dinner to be over. Impatient to get started.

Impatient to take out my competition.

Including Four.

"Eric?" Everly asks again, and I press my lips together.

"I ate with Four." I answer dryly, hating that I even have to say it. Out loud.

But my response delights her. I can see her trying not to laugh, and she smiles a little too brightly for my liking.

"How cute is that."

I roll my eyes at her.

I don't bother giving her any more information to use against me. The mess hall grows louder the longer the dinner goes on, and I take a few bites that are hard to swallow. For now, the atmosphere crackles with excitement. It'll die down once they start their training, but it's pleasant enough that I don't entirely hate it.

It gets better when Everly leans into me. We're joined by Four, who's followed by Peter, and eventually Tris and Jeremy. They sit down in the only empty seats, and I don't mind at all.

In fact, I'm thrilled they chose to sit with us.

Four's shoulders rise up, and so do Jeremy's. They sit there in a silent, awkward standoff, one that Jeremy inevitably wins since he's going home with Tris.

Everly watches her friends intently, and I do my best to enjoy my shitty hamburger. The night stretches on, until the noise comes to an abrupt halt, and the initiates make their way to where they're sleeping. I grin as Everly grins at me, and I know what she's thinking.

I'd taken her home that very night, and we'd never truly slept apart since that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A million thank yous to Bamberlee for editing this chapter, especially considering she's been back from Paris for like, a day. 
> 
> You are the best :)
> 
> Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! Have a good weekend!!
> 
> Next week is everyone's most favorite chapter ever, so uh, get ready.


	26. The Training

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to Bamberlee for editing this chapter. 
> 
> If you've read The Training, you know what's coming. You can always wait to read this with next week's update, or you can read this and ruin your weekend. The choice is yours. 
> 
> On that happy note, I hope everyone enjoys this chapter as if that's even possible.

She dresses like my initiate.

I watch her from the bed, doing my best to delete every email from every person I hate. There are plenty of them: Jack whining that he felt out of the loop from what he deemed to be a lack of updates, Arlene – fully using her privileges of being unblocked to remind me that Everly needed both a flu shot and something else she doesn't specify, Peter- putting in a request to take on more responsibility while also offering his services during the training if the need arose, and finally Jeanine, losing her shit because her serums were still not working to her specifications and asking me to personally come to Erudite so we can discuss some things.

I look up as Everly comes out of the bathroom. Her hair is completely dry and she smiles despite the early hour.

"You didn't reply to my email." I look up at her, taking in the dark tank top and leggings and her big eyes on my bare chest.

"I was five feet away from you. You could have just asked me what I wanted for dinner." She points out, looking back at me like I'm nuts. I'd only emailed her to make sure it worked. Ever since Jeremy had fucked with her email settings, I had been determined to make sure she didn't miss anything. He'd since been scarce, avoiding me like the plague, and I much preferred it that way.

I shrug when Everly stares as I don't respond, continuing to delete a few more messages. There's one from Daniel that I scowl at, reminding me that I'd agreed to meet up at some point, and I decide I'll pretend that didn't happen. I blame a moment of weakness while in Amity, and I choose not to answer him.

Once done with clearing out my inbox, I realize I should head in to work. My goal was to be home before Everly, hoping that she'd have a mostly pleasant day. Any day spent entirely with Four couldn't be that great, so I'd make something she enjoyed for dinner and we could go to bed early.

I shove the covers off me and climb out of bed, noticing she's still standing there. I stop in front of her, reaching to pull her against my chest. She tilts her head up to catch my stare, and she does her best to keep a serious expression on her face.

"Good luck today, Amity."

Her stoic expression gives way to a smile. She'll forever be Amity to me, and she'll forever be here with me. I smirk back at her, pleased when she reaches up to kiss me goodbye.

"I love you, Eric. Maybe I'll see you for lunch. Maybe you can come down and scare the initiates a little bit."

She looks unbearably pretty today. Her eyes are dark and lovely, and her cheeks are flushed. I have a feeling several of the initiates will find themselves having a crush on her, especially considering she's only a year older than them.

"I'd like that." I cheerfully answer her, and I do. Spying on them will be fun, and so will reminding them that she's married to me.

I kiss her goodbye one more time, my fingers digging into her hair and holding her close, and I swear there's a shift in the air that I haven't felt before.

I mumble that I love her, quiet enough that she might not hear me, but I hope she does.

It's not easy for me to say, but it's getting there.

 

 

"So?"

Rylan looks at me from across my own desk, propping his boots up so he can recline back.

"So what?" I respond, still typing, still working. He'd arrived a half hour ago, but I'd been on the phone with Jack. Rylan didn't seem to have anything else to do, so he made himself comfortable, and ate his breakfast while I worked. I didn't care, except that every so often he threw me one impatient glare over his breakfast burrito.

Even mouthing 'Jack' hadn't given him the clue that this would be a minute.

"What did he want?" Rylan looks right at me when I hang up, and if I didn't know him, I'd swear he sounded jealous. Which was entertaining. If he wanted to be the one Jack called a thousand times a day, I'd gladly arrange it.

I look at his sulky expression, and I'm unable to stop myself from grimacing.

"He spoke with Andrew Prior. Jack has a friend of a friend in Abnegation, and he somehow managed to work his way into visiting. While there, he bumped into Andrew, and he decided to share some of his security concerns. Unfortunately, while neither Andrew nor Marcus trust Jeanine, they were unwilling to do anything with the factionless. They won't cease helping them, nor do they believe they are a threat."

"They opened fire on us. Twice. How are they not a threat?" Rylan asks, and I can only shrug.

"Logic is apparently too selfish for them. Jack pointed out there have been increasing attacks, and he claims he very subtly hinted they should consider contacting Dauntless over any instances or suspicions."

"Yeah right." Rylan sits up straighter. "They hate having us there. They've mentioned a few times it was invasive and we barely go there."

"Exactly." I answer flatly. "Andrew was very unwilling to even talk with Jack, and he was not at all willing to have a large Dauntless presence there. He claims it'll cause unrest, and he doesn't want to worry his faction."

"Is his faction going to worry when they get attacked?" Rylan makes a good point, and he looks up as Jason bursts through the door. "Why aren't they getting attacked? Is it because they help them? I'll help the factionless if they chill out for a few seconds."

"I can only assume. But you're right. It's highly suspicious the factionless haven't attacked anyone in Abnegation. Only here and Erudite, and if Jack doesn't keep to himself, I'm assuming they'll hit Candor next."

"They will." Jason chimes in, and he takes the seat beside Rylan. "Hey, do either of you have any free time tomorrow? I'm supposed to go somewhere with Karl and Harrison, but we need a third person."

"PASS." I answer quickly, remembering that I'd last seen Harrison dragging in a raccoon. "I have to organize my shirts."

"Same." Rylan sets his plate on my desk and throws Jason one smug look. "Why don't you invite Peter? Maybe you could ditch him in the woods."

"I wish. He's been everywhere I turn around." Jason shakes his head and shrugs. "Fine. I'll go with Harrison by MYSELF. Some friends you are."

With that, he stomps out, muttering how much we both suck.

"Fuck that, I'm not going anywhere near Harrison. He probably has rabies from that thing he brought in."

I can't hide my snort of laughter.

"It's a high probability."

Rylan spends another few minutes sitting with me, idly chatting about what he and Christina are doing the next few nights, and it's a pleasant distraction from my actual work.

I ignore the email as long as I can, but eventually, I tell Jeanine I'll see her soon.

 

 

 

At lunch time, I beg off Rylan to go see Everly.

Normally, I'd invite him to come along. Especially with the look of disappointment flashing across his face when I tell him where I'm going. But Christina calls him not a moment before I leave, and he happily agrees to meet up with her instead.

Relieved that his feelings won't be hurt, I leave the office in a hurry, bypassing a nosy Linda and a security team looking for Max. I vaguely listen to them talk amongst themselves, discussing their finds on their most recent patrol, and I smirk as I walk down the stairs.

On the suspicion of Johanna helping the factionless, I'd arranged for our focus to shift to the Amity faction. It was fairly close to where Rylan had said Four had gone, and to my delight, we'd found several factionless in the woods. They weren't doing anything illegal, but they were suspicious. They'd immediately bolted upon being seen, and they'd disappeared into where I assume they liked to hang out.

They'd also found a few from Amity very close by, and they were standoffish. One soldier reported them refusing to talk, and one mentioned they were pissed when the soldiers escorted them back to Amity. I wouldn't doubt there was some connection, and while I should be thrilled at this news, I found it highly unfortunate. It meant they were getting braver. Gearing up for something.

I pushed that thought away.

I head down to the training room, not at all missing having to be down here, and my eyes skate over the large space. I pause right outside the doors, taking a quick survey of the room. It's crowded, every area teaming with initiates, and the atmosphere is completely different than our last initiation.

This time, there is a good mix of males and females.

I watch them from afar, and none of them notice. At first glance, they appear to be doing fairly well. They aren't split up in any particular order, and their black training clothes strip them of their former identity.

Based on past experiences, some are still sticking with who they know.

Some are not.

The strongest ones – the largest, heaviest, and presumably toughest- have smartly joined together. They punch with a viciousness that'll come in handy one day, and a few are very precise with every movement they make. Like they've been waiting to come here. There are plenty of others, males and females mixed together, but the girls seem most comfortable in small groups.

I spy Everly walking behind them, pausing to help one or two when she can. I have to admit she looks too pretty to be down here, and my lips curl up when a few boys watch her walk past. She's far smaller than Four, far smaller than half of them here, but there's a confidence to her, especially when she observes them critically. I wonder if she's looked over Four's scoring, or if she'll use mine. I can see her making mental notes of the girl in front of her, observing with a smile when the girl can properly replicate what Everly asked her to do.

Further down, Four tries to help a girl nearly as short as him, and she swings her arm with wild abandon. I'm barely able to stifle my laugh when she misses his face by centimeters. The expression on his face is priceless, but after his last training, she's nothing to be surprised at.

Right past them, are a group of girls who've already written this training off.

I can see it on their faces, the unimpressed sly snickers as they watch Four. They sneer when he walks away, but from what I've seen, they shouldn't be sneering just yet. None of them will make it here. They'll need more than a bitchy attitude to survive, and I'm sure he's noticed. I'd bet he's already noticed they'll rank lowly, and he'll be done with them soon.

Everly stops to help a boy adjust his elbow, and I head toward her. The group of girls have stopped entirely, despite being told to use every single second they have to train. They'd be smart to use every moment available, rather than standing there giggling, but they have no interest in that. They eye the room like they own the place, until their gaze finds me.

I head right over to them.

I stalk across the room easily. The mats sink beneath my boots, and I have fond memories of pinning Everly to them. I smirk when I see her dark hair sway as she steps back, and I admire the curve of her waist and the long lines of her legs.

The girls behind her zero right in on me.

The tallest and blondest one, especially.

She cocks her hip out toward me and smiles.

I narrow my eyes at them, highly unimpressed with what they're doing. I can feel their gazes slink over me, taking in every inch they can. Unlike Everly's warm stare, this feels immature. Annoying. Barely worthy of my acknowledging their existence. One of them giggles as I walk closer, and my gaze meets Everly's.

She's noticed them acting like fools and now she's looking at me with a funny expression; it's dark and seething, and all too entertaining.

She's jealous.

Or irritated.

I'd much prefer it to be the first, because I've never seen her get worked up over anyone other than Ashley. But this look tells me she can see them checking me out, and she'd like to kill them.

And she could.

I want to smile at her, but I turn back to the trio of idiots, and I sneer as I walk by. I walk down the row of initiates who are still working, and a few step closer to the punching bags. I observe some of the larger ones, especially the one who I'd wondered if he was related to Landon. He punches violently, his actions sharp and quick. My curiosity is piqued, mostly because if he came from Amity, there's little reason he should be that well trained.

I make a mental note to look him up.

I saunter past Four, and he nods at me. I nod back, managing to keep my critiques to myself. I figure I can tell them to Everly later. I turn when I reach the end, and my eyes go right back to Everly. I stare at her as I walk back, cocking an eyebrow in annoyance at the girls who are still staring at me. They're awfully brave to think I'd even look their way, considering my wife is right there.

I stop next to her, watching the boy in front of her. I can feel his nervousness increase tenfold, but I'm paying little attention to him.

I'm more focused on Everly, especially when she steps closer to me.

"Hi Eric." She sounds almost flirty as her arm brushes mine, and the action feels downright illicit in here.

"Hi Everly." I stay right next to her, her head barely coming up to my chest, and together, we watch the boy punch in desperate hope that I'll move on. I hear a few more rounds of snickering, and I turn slowly, to the sight of the girls still not doing anything. They're watching me, and their body language tells me they have no intention of punching anything.

Everly leans into me slightly, and I smirk.

As thrilling as it is that Everly is even the tiniest bit jealous, I have no patience for people who come here thinking they'll skate through their training. They have no clue what choosing Dauntless means, and if they saw Everly's picture and came here for fun, they'd made the wrong decision.

"Are you done?"

I bark at them, loud enough that two of them jump. It echoes through the large room and every head turns to face me.

Most would back down, but the blondest one is undeterred. She's clearly in charge of her gaggle of friends, and she takes a slow -and what I'm assuming she believes is seductive- step toward me.

"We finished already. We've been waiting for someone to come watch us." She smirks over at Everly, tilting her head as she implies that Everly wasn't paying attention to them. To my delight, Everly smiles right back, ever so sweetly.

It's a knowing smile, and a flash of appreciation rushes through me that Everly can predict what's coming next.

"Since you're so far ahead of the class, why don't you demonstrate what you've learned today?"

I clasp my hands behind my back, and my tone changes. It's one I reserve for those I hate: primarily Four, but also anyone who pisses me off.

It's not what Blondie expects. The girl looks at me in surprise and slight confusion. I don't know her name, nor do I care. But she looks bewildered, especially when I raise my eyebrows at her.

"Sure."

Her confidence is shit. It is clear she thought I'd be more interested in who she was, than what she'd learned. I watch her turn around, and when she assumes the stance she's been shown, it's not at all correct. Rather than grounding down, she lurches forward, sloppily punching the bag in her best attempt.

It's laughable.

She stumbles over her own feet, tripping when she tries to catch herself. There are a few dry coughs from both sides, and she quickly stands up. She glances at me in horror, and the embarrassment is all over her face.

"Well that was rather unimpressive." I snarl, and I catch the smallest smile from Everly.

Her friends react slowly, figuring out they're next. They attempt to slink away like I can't see them. But I can. And really, there's not a single place they could go where I won't see them. I cock my head as one moves to the left, and she makes the mistake of locking eyes with me.

"Are you two leaving? I believe you said you were waiting for someone to watch you. Well I'm watching."

My words sound malicious, and they are. I have no patience for shit like this. Had they been able to prove me wrong, I'd have been impressed. But their arrogance that they'll stay here for no good reason pisses me off. So does trying to falsely blame my wife.

They glance at each other, shaking their heads. Neither of them are sweaty, and their hair is perfectly in place as though they've done nothing this whole time. "You want us to punch the bags?" One of them squeaks at me, looking horrified.

"No, I thought you could just tell me about them."

I enjoy the way her face falls, even more so when the boy beside her starts laughing. Everly steps in front of him, attempting to quiet him down. All three girls shoot them dirty looks, and I decide they'll leave today.

All of them.

"Tell me something, initiates. Do you remember the speech Four gave you when you first came here?"

I step closer to them, waiting until they nod. For girls who wanted me closer seconds ago, they certainly don't look happy at my close proximity now.

"I'm going to suggest you focus on that. You chose to come to Dauntless and now we get to choose if you stay. And if you think you'll make it here with anything less than what we consider perfection, you're wrong. You'll be factionless before you know it."

They blink.

"If we don't pass the training we're factionless?" The least blonde asks, and her voice cracks. "When did that become a rule?"

"It's been a rule for a while now." I point out, and I glance over at Everly. She's watching intently, her gaze right on me.

"Somebody should have told us." The leader of their group looks rather upset now. Her eyes are wild, and she practically shrieks as she realizes there is a very high chance this means her.

"Why?" I taunt her, enjoying when she flinches. "Would you have chosen differently? Out of fear? Because if that's the case you might as well get out now. Because if you're really one of us, it won't matter that you might fail."

She looks over at Everly, and her expression is miserable. When Everly smiles in faux sympathy, she looks away quickly, focusing back on me. Her lips part to say something, but I've seen enough.

I point my finger at her, and she flinches again.

"You better watch yourselves. We train soldiers here, not rebels. Now get out. We're done for the morning."

The room is silent.

Everyone scatters, and the girls are the first ones out the doors.

 

 

 

I find Everly in the mess hall.

She's behind the class, watching them scramble to get past me without me noticing. There are a few who throw impressed looks my way, but most look terrified. It's lucky for them that I won't be overseeing their training, but I might have to wander down a few more times to see how they're doing.

Everly smiles as soon as she sees me. She immediately takes off in my direction, but so does Four. Luckily for me, he's pulled aside by a girl who looks ready to cry. She touches his arm gingerly, briefly, then recoils like he'll slam her into the table.

He doesn't.

He does frown when she looks up at him, and Everly misses the moment when he smiles at her.

Sort of.

I reach for Everly as soon as she's close enough; I grab her waist and yank her right up against me. I forget how chivalrous I secretly am. I pull her through the doors of the mess hall, into the darkness, and I kiss her immediately.

I've missed her, and maybe it was the sight of her all worked up, or maybe just her outfit.

Either way, I kiss her frantically, biting at her as I walk her back against the wall.

"I forgot how much I like the way you look in your training clothes." I murmur the words against her skin, enjoying how warm she is. I slide my hands beneath her tank top, skimming over her skin to touch wherever I can. "It's really good to see you like this again."

She laughs. I kiss her neck, wanting nothing more than to drag her home, as she wiggles against me. I push her back further, holding her in place as her head tilts to the side. One of her hands finds my hair, urging me on.

"Eric, I'm going to miss lunch."

Her protest is not even halfhearted. She sighs when my teeth sink into her skin, melting against me in relief. The thought of her wanting me, enjoying this just as much as I am spurs me on. I know that if I don't stop now, I really will drag her home. I move from her neck, back to her lips, and I kiss her gently.

"Fine." I sulk, sighing when she smiles up at me. I bend down to examine her, big eyes, pink cheeks, long eyelashes. Mine. I kiss her roughly, wishing she wasn't working all day. I break away from her just enough that she steps forward, her hands still on me.

She's still the prettiest girl I've ever seen. I bend down so my nose touches hers, and I kiss her cheek since I can't kiss anything else without getting all worked up.

"I'll miss you." I smirk at her, the words easy and truthful.

I will miss her.

I'll never grow tired of coming home to her, and I'll never tire of being with her.

She smiles brightly as I take off, sulking back to the mess halls to take my lunch upstairs.

I think about her all afternoon, her soft lips and the way her fingers had dug into my hair to pull me closer, and I wonder what took me so long to let myself feel this way.

 

 

Arlene shows up as I eat my sandwich.

I look up in disgust to find her lounging against the doorframe, smiling at me like she's got some big secret that she's come by to torture me with.

"What?" I ask her as I swallow the bite I'd taken, hating that she's in here. "Did you get lost? Your office is downstairs. Closer to hell, where you belong."

"I just came by to say hello." She smiles again- ignoring my insult, and I know something is up.

"Hello. Now spill it. I don't have a lot of time." I remind her, and I don't. I was trying to figure out just when and how I could visit Jeanine and spent the least amount of time possible. "Or don't. I don't really care."

"You might care. Did Four and Tris ever get back together?"

I look at her with as much hatred as I can muster. Which in this moment, is a lot.

"Why the fuck would I know that?" I snarl, and I glare at her. "Are you coming in here to tell me they're back together? Last I heard, Tris was fucking the Leader in training. The one who looks just like Four."

"I don't know anything about that," Arlene answers casually, which scares me. She's never casual, especially not when she comes by. "But I saw Four in the hallway with one of his initiates."

"And?" I couldn't possibly be any more bored, but Arlene looks entertained. "He's allowed to walk in the hallways, you know. I haven't quite figured out a way to revoke that privilege yet."

"He was with a girl. One who was staring at him." Arlene sounds like she finds this hysterical, which might be her one redeeming quality. "Longingly. I looked her up. Her name is Stella and she's from Abnegation. They looked…close. Too close all things considered."

I take another bite of my sandwich and roll my eyes. "I'm sure it was nothing. He probably needed to make sure she wasn't about to pass out. No girl would willingly get close to him." Arlene laughs, and I shake my head. "Thank you for this breaking news. I'll make sure to put out a bulletin to everyone in the faction. On this day, Four spoke to a female other than Tris."

"How is Everly?" Arlene wastes no time stepping closer to my desk. I look up, realizing I should never trust her. "She's overdue for a flu shot. As well as her continued birth control. Unless you've changed your mind on that. I hear a few people were disappointed when you shot those rumors down."

"Arlene…" I say her name threateningly and she smirks.

"It wouldn't be so bad, you know. You might like having a normal family."

"There would be nothing normal about me having a child." I retort, and I feel my shoulders tense up. "Besides, my wife is nineteen. She's barely been in Dauntless for-"

"You never know what could happen. You're putting this off for what? When she's twenty? What's the difference?" Arlene interrupts, and I decide I still hate her. Maybe just as much as Four. Maybe I'll revoke both their hallway privileges. "Who knows what'll happen next week. Why not go for it?"

"You know what?" I look right at her, and I cock my head to the side and smile threateningly. "I'll get right on it. You give her her birth control, and if she somehow winds up pregnant, then I guess we'll have a baby. Otherwise, drop it."

Arlene is not pleased.

She glares at me, and I decide I will request that her office is relocated to the furthest level of Dauntless. Maybe outside.

"You're missing out." She baits me, and I throw her a dirty look.

"It was nice of you to stop by. Go back to stalking Four."

"Please." It's Arlene's turn to roll her eyes. But she does stand up, and she does head toward the door. "Have a nice day, Eric. Tell Everly I'll be happy to administer her birth control shot when she's ready."

"Good." I snarl, but I snap my head up as the door shuts.

There's something about the way she said that that makes me nervous. I reach for my phone, ready to call Everly and tell her not to go down there, and then I realize I'm being paranoid. I'm giving in to exactly what Arlene wants if I tell her not to get it.

I refuse to let her win, so I decide I won't say anything.

 

 

She kisses me as I get in the shower.

Her arms loop around my neck and she pulls me back, sighing my name when I shake my head at her persistence.

I'd returned home to an empty apartment. I made dinner quickly, and Everly returned from the infirmary looking just fine. For a few minutes. I could see the effects kick in slowly; Arlene had emailed on her walk back, and she'd subtly hinted that Everly should get a second round of her vaccines. It was a safety measure, one that Arlene was smart to stay on top of. I'd been slowly having Everly vaccinated against whatever could possibly be injected into her. While a great way to keep her alive, it meant she would suffer the flu like effects that followed.

We ate a quiet dinner, her skin turning paler by the minute, and I'd insisted we go to bed. I handed her two tiny blue pills to take that would help ward off the icky feeling faster than last time. They'd kicked in not long after, and she'd thanked me by trying to drag me out of the shower.

I told her to wait for me.

I'd spent the night thinking that for once, I felt at peace with my life.

Sure, I had Jeanine breathing down my neck, but I was slowly working out a way to bring her down. I'd decided that with the public backing of Jack, with the maybe eventual possibility that we could convince another faction to join us, if I had the right evidence to expose her, I'd possibly be able to clear my own name. I'd been careful to avoid too much involvement as of late, and I only spoke with her enough to maintain a falsely dedicated façade. She told me what I needed to know, because she wanted to believe I was still helping her.

It worked for both of us. And it would continue to work for both of us, until I'd had enough.

But now, as I wash my face and think of Everly waiting for me, I have had enough.

I wanted my life here. My life with Everly, just the way it was. And I could have that. If I was careful. I'd spent a few late nights organizing data. Saving emails that were incriminating. Making sure my software wasn't bugged. I'd uninstalled half of what Jason had put on there, and I'd finagled one of the tech supervisors to show me where my security software had been edited. With a few quick keystrokes, my laptop and tablet were untouchable.

I'd then done the same to Everly's.

She hadn't noticed.

She barely used her phone, and in fact, much like right this second, she looked close to throwing it at the wall. I walk back into my bedroom to find a pair of boxers, and I'm greeted with the sight of her scowling at her phone. She taps at the screen a few times, and the phone dings repeatedly.

"Did you check your emails?" I towel off my hair and walk to grab a comb from the dresser. I quickly part it, drop my towel, and step into the first pair of black boxers I find.

"I don't know. The thing keeps beeping." Everly glares at her phone as if that will stop it.

I walk over to the bed, sitting down next to her, and my arm touches hers. She immediately hands me the phone, and I frown at it.

"Why does your phone say it's next Thursday?" I look over at her, and she raises her eyebrows at me in mock innocence. "You have a voicemail. That's why it keeps beeping."

"Who knows."

Everly shrugs, not at all concerned about why her phone was beeping, only that it would stop. She watches as I swipe through the icons on her phone. I click on the voice message so it'll play, and I'm rewarded with Four's voice. I stare in annoyance as he drones on, asking if Everly would do his job and pair up the initiates for their matches tomorrow. I look over at her, at her messy hair and her big eyes, and I delete the message.

"Is Four too busy with his new girlfriend to do his own job?"

Everly frowns at me.

Over dinner, she'd told me exactly what Arlene had witnessed. Four, helping another useless person from Abnegation. The way Everly talked about it made it sound like the most romantic thing in the world, and I'd nearly gagged. There was no way anyone wanted Four to walk them anywhere, and if Everly thought that was a nice date, then I was certainly husband of the year.

"Don't be mean to them." She shakes her head and yanks the phone away from me defensively. "She's just a little nervous about the fighting."

I can sense the brewing attachment to this little scenario. I stare at Everly, and I hope she's not going to try to help either of them. I could speak from experience that getting involved with an initiate never worked out as well as one planned. "She better get over it fast if she wants to stay."

Everly ignores me. She flips her hair off her shoulder, throwing me one long, knowing look before she sinks against me. She scoots over so her back is against my chest, and she elbows my arms until I slide them around her.

"I think she will."

I sigh heavily.

"Great."

Everly ignores me again, and she pushes a few random icons on the phone. "How do I take a picture?"

"Click on the bottom left icon." I watch her, I feel her lean back further, and I slide one of my hands into her hair. She'd showered not long after being home, and her hair is slightly damp. I scrape my nails against her scalp for a moment, watching her click away until the camera opens. I slide them down the strands of her hair, twirling the ends around my finger.

I decide to play nice.

"Do you want me to help you match them up?"

She turns to look up at me, and her smile is bright. "Yes, please."

I figured. I can show her a quick way to pair them up, and it'll give me a chance to snoop through Four's shitty scoring.

Everly holds the phone up, and she smiles wider when the two of us appear on the screen. I smirk at her adorable cluelessness, managing to find a speck of amusement in her lack of phone skills. She tries to aim the camera so she can presumably take a photo, but she's terrible at it.

"You gonna show this picture to all your friends?" I let my lips graze her ear and she giggles.

Her photo is of my bare chest and a few strands of her hair.

"Stop, you made me mess up. And no, just Four. You missed that part of the message where he asked me to bring him a photo tomorrow. In case it doesn't work out between him and Stella."

She elbows me sharply, and I find myself laughing. Really laughing at her ridiculous words. She pushes the button again, and this time, she captures the both of us. Both smiling.

Hers looks normal, pretty and sweet.

Mine is wide, and my eyes are focused right on her.

 

 

 

The rest of my week is the same.

I confirm a day and time with Jeanine.

I eat lunch with Jason and Rylan, both prodding me to confess that I'm having a baby and neither giving up until I slap Jason as hard as I can.

I avoid Harrison in the hallway, not having time for his ramblings or his hunt for what was out there.

I avoid Arlene, lurking in the shadows like a deranged serial killer.

I go home to my wife, every night, pulling her against my chest and falling asleep with her fingers curled against my skin.

I decide things are just fine the way they are, and nothing will change.

Ever.

 

 

_"Security breach. Three power outages. Six soldiers down. We had them come back and we'll regroup in the morning. They were shot by the factionless, but we'll confirm once they're coherent. Squads are in route now."_

I read the message while Everly tells me about Colton. I'm halfway listening; my nerves are firing at the news, and I suddenly feel sick, like I've missed something. The dinner I'd made seems unappealing, and I force myself to take a bite.

"What do you think? Eric?"

I look up to her stare, and I find myself ready to stab something.

"What did he say to you?" I bark the words at her, edgy as another message pops up. This one from Jason, confirming three direct hits to three of our best patrol men. "That he wanted to fight you? Was he appropriately disciplined?"

I stare at Everly while she takes a bite of her spaghetti. So far, her training with Four had been going fairly well. Four respected that she had a life outside of it, and she rarely saw him unless she was working with him. They got along well, and he seemed just fine with what she'd incorporated. Something had changed these past few days though. Everly had mentioned the actual fighting had brought out a vicious side of the initiates. Especially one in particular. She'd been telling me how one came up to her, outright telling her he wanted to fight her. He should have been taken aside and spoken to but from the looks of it, he wasn't. When I ask her again, Everly shakes her head no, ducking her gaze down.

Of course not.

She wouldn't know how to discipline him, not that she could by herself. This should have been reported to Four, and he should have handled it. An initiate baiting a trainer wasn't entirely unheard of. If he had something personal against her, it would be surprising for him not to act out or try to get her to provoke him. But it wasn't tolerated.

Either way, Everly stares at the noodles on her plate, entirely avoiding my question.

My phone dings again, and Jason confirms another two shots.

"Everly." I snap her name, and she raises her head up slowly. "I asked you a question."

She looks up at me like I've disciplined her. I feel guilty, suddenly shitty for snapping at her. I'd yelled at her once since she'd been here, when she asked me for cake and dared to tell me Four handed it out by the pound. But that expression had been something else. This is downhearted, like she's failed at the first real job she's been given, and she doesn't know how to handle it.

My phone dings again, and Rylan confirms that all squads have returned with one soldier still unaccounted for.

"I just want to make sure he knows his place." I frown at her, more upset with Four for not noticing what had gone on. "I don't want him to think he would ever have a chance at hurting you."

Everly nods her head, but her stare is still on her plate. I watch her shoulders rise up, and she pushes the noodles into a messy pile. My stomach sinks and this isn't what I want. Not her looking like this. I push my chair back, and I head over to her as my phone lights up. I ignore it. Everly swirls her spaghetti around as a distraction, and I reach for her hands.

Only then, does she look up with a miserable expression.

"He knows. Don't worry." She promises, and I pull her up. She rises easily, and I can feel the anxiety rushing through her. I don't want her to feel like that, not ever. I know she can handle the class, but she doesn't have to do it alone.

Nor do I want this initiate coming after her just because he thinks he has the right to.

Or anyone else, for that matter.

"I don't want anyone to hurt you. Ever. You know that." I grasp the back of her hair, pushing my palm flat. She leans into me, and her breathing is sharp. "I don't have any doubts about you training them. I just want you to be careful. You're not exactly intimidating looking."

With that, she nods her head and I can feel her smile. I can't quite pinpoint her fears- that perhaps I don't think she has it in her, but it's not that. It's not her. It's everyone else.

"Thank you." Everly says quietly, and I let go of her so she can step back.

"I'll do a little research on him. I'll figure out what his deal is. I can have Jason look into it tomorrow." I smile tightly, pushing her hair out of her eyes and I make a mental note to text Jason as soon as I can. He's probably up to his eyeballs in reports right now, but I'll do it myself if need be.

Everly smiles up at me, and her face brightens considerably.

"Can he do that?" She asks, and her arms tighten around me.

"If I tell him to."

I stare at her, memorizing every single detail of her, before I kiss her. I kiss her slowly, my hands finding each side of her face, until my fingers slide into her hair.

She forgets about Colton, and her dinner, and the two of us head to bed far earlier than normal.

 

 

"It looks like all six will be out for a bit. Karl's running short, but he'll be fine. He's picking up two days, Peter is picking up two days, Jason and I will each be covering a shift or two, and I think Harrison is taking on a route."

Rylan and I take the stairs to the lower levels, and he talks quickly.

"Guns and ammunition are all registered here, but to weapons that have been out of rotation for a while. Again, back to Brittney, but she'd had no major occurrences since the last one. These were checked out either prior to or around that same time. All soldiers reported the factionless were well trained, and their aim has improved."

"Wonderful." I look over at him, and he grins.

"Also, no luck on Colton. Jason and I both looked him up. The Amity database has not a single Colton, but several Cottons, one Calvin, three Carsons, one Carsen with an E, and someone named Diego who for some reason kept popping up anytime we tried to click on the next page. The last name of Conner doesn't exist with any of those names, either."

"How about the other factions?" I ask, and I shove the doors to the infirmary open. "Anything?"

"No." Rylan shakes his head and we walk past the desk. "The facial recognition didn't pick up anything either. At least no one associated with any of the factions. But…"

I turn to look at him, and we head straight to Arlene's office. "But what?"

"We're looking at a few who are labeled as missing. We asked Four about him. He said he might have run away from his family until choosing age. They might have taken him out of the system if he'd been missing long enough."

Rylan looks proud of this information, but it makes my stomach turn over unpleasantly.

"Are you sure there was nothing in Amity? Nothing related to-"

"No, but we did find someone whose profession was duck specialist. That's a position we're sorely lacking here." He grins, and we come to a halt in front of Arlene's desk.

She looks up irritably, and gestures for us to sit. "Two minutes gentlemen."

"Find out who Colton is and I'll assign you the title." I promise him, crossing my ankle over my knee.

Two minutes later, Rylan and I both get flu shots. He shrieks like a little girl when Arlene jabs the needle into his skin, and I snicker the entire walk back.

 

 

It's the last time I laugh for a while.

 

 

Days later, Karl is the one who finds me.

A week after Everly told me Colton wanted to fight her, Karl enters my office, and his skin is a sickly shade of green. I look up from my laptop, having just finished my message to Jack. I was confident that I had everything I needed. Years of lab tests, years of reports, years of information that what Jeanine had been doing hadn't been meant to further the factions, but to hold them back. All ready to send to him. My finger hovers over the mouse, as Karl tries to catch his breath.

"What?" I bark at him, having every intention of sending him out of here before he vomits on my carpeting.

"Sir." He gasps the title at me, and I instantly notice his hands are shaking and he's run here. I immediately know that something is wrong. Very wrong.

"Colton took Everly. He got her…got her from the training room."

I stare at the boy before me, tall and large with messy hair, the same one who had so eagerly beamed every time he saw her. His boyish stare watching her every movement, as though she was his to admire.

She wasn't. She never had been.

"Eric, Sir."

He says my name, and I don't move.

"What?"

I blink at him, not sure if I fully understand what he's saying. Everly was with Four. With the training class, and she should have been walking out for lunch. It takes my brain a second to realize what he's saying, and I don't know what happens first. The realization that my wife had been taken by the initiate who'd threatened her last week, or the security alert that goes off. It comes to my phone. My laptop. My watch. It calls for every soldier available to head out, now. That there has been a security breach in Dauntless, and all available men and women are being called in.

I see the alert on Karl's watch as well, and my wife's name flashes on it.

_Everly Coulter._

_Has._

_Been._

_Taken._

_Report Immediately._

All I can see is red.

Blindingly white-hot blazing red in front of my eyes.

I blink, trying to make it dissipate, but it's useless. Karl is in front of me, his mouth moving frantically, lips forming the words that make my entire stomach drop sharply. I lick my lips for a second, distracting myself from the sharp words as they register.

"She's gone. He took her, the guy from the class. He took Everly and I tried, Eric I tried. I told them to shoot…but he had her, over his shoulder."

His words are a jumbled rush of youthful ignorance, a desperate plea for me to not place the blame on him, to spare his existence. I stare at him, still not moving.

"…couldn't get a clear shot."

I don't move, simply because I can't. The air is gone from my lungs now; and each breath feels like I'm inhaling a mix of glass and dust. She's gone, but she can't be. She's too smart, too fast and too strong for someone to just take.

I feel my eyes narrow, my fists clenching together.

She's not anyone's to take. She's mine. She's mine. She's mine.

"Do you want me to send orders to…"

He's still talking, useless words spilling from his mouth the same way that his eyes threaten to spill the watery tears behind them. Karl stands before me, looking every day of his mere nineteen years old, as he tells me my wife is gone. And he was out there, watching it happen.

"Get out." I hiss the words at him, my stomach turning acidic in this moment. Every nerve is now lit, and I almost can't look at him. "Get the fuck out of my office."

I need to do something. I need to run, now. I need to find Colton, this person who took Everly, and make them pay.

"I couldn't shoot. I just couldn't do it."

His words are shaky, a wobbly gasp that hints that he's barely holding it together. Karl's meltdown unfolds in front of me, but I have no time for it. He needs to leave now, for in the next few minutes I won't be responsible for my actions.

"Eric, I'm sorry. I sent the patrol after him but they've lost sight of her…"

He doesn't say anything else, because I've already made my way toward him. His eyes widen as my hands grasp his thick skull and I shove him away from me. He slams into the wall, stumbling gracelessly as he hits the floor.

I don't want to think about anything right now and Karl is the perfect outlet for my misplaced anger. Rationally, I'm aware that it wasn't his fault. I understand what he's saying. Colton had gotten her outside, and Karl didn't have a clear chance to shoot. There's no way he could have ordered them to fire if it meant her life was at risk. I'm well versed in the procedure myself, but it makes no difference.

The blood that drips from his nose makes me feel no better either. In the past, it would have. Proof that I'd accomplished something, I'd made him hurt in order to slow the fury that ran through my veins. Today it doesn't work, because he's announced the only thing that could ever possibly destroy me.

 

 

The alarms go off repeatedly.

I'd not so calmly followed the proper protocol for any member who had been abducted, especially a member of high importance. While I wanted to bolt out and find her, I couldn't. This was a planned and precise attack that required strategic thinking. Through gritted teeth I'd announced her name to those still in the faction, watched her picture flash in front of the patrol squads, and tried to refrain from slamming my fist into the marbled wall as the soldiers took careful notes. Having a broken fist would do me no good. I'd need my hands intact for when I found her; I would use them to tear apart Colton, limb by limb until he bled out in front of me.

My skin itches as I watch the soldiers leave. I watch them rush out in droves, all to find Everly. I arm myself, heavily, and I stalk through the hallway from the control room.

I say his name over and over.

Hissing it in my mind.

Thinking how stupid I was not to pull Everly from the class. How I should have listened to my gut feeling that things didn't add up. I don't care how mad she would have been at me, because she would have been here. With me. Just like normal. None of this would have happened.

This is all I think as I turn the corner, and there, I find Four.

He is hurrying along one of the hallways, his stare straight ahead and his expression serious. He's no doubt responsible for what happened and I wait for the slightest bit of forced understanding on his face. The slight flicker of false sympathy that relayed his true feelings. That he thought I deserved this all along.

It doesn't come until he's right in front of me. I've marched right toward him, my shoulders pulled back and my stare on him. I've got half a mind to shove him into the wall, to crack his skull open and pick the pieces up myself. He's part of the reason she's gone; had he not taken it upon himself to sulk out to visit his mother, to help train her fucking army, my wife would be walking beside him, waiting for me to take her home.

Had he kept his eyes on her, like he promised me he would, she'd still be here.

His eyes flash to mine and I see it. I see everything all over his face. He's afraid, very afraid, and it means he knows she's in trouble. He's walked amongst the factionless, he's learned their ways and he's taught them how to massacre.

I see her face flash in front of my eyes when my fist connects with Four's jaw. Everly's large eyes and dark lashes, her pale skin and her dark hair, her smile as she stared up at me and I swear my entire vision blurs. I lurch forward, the agony searing through me faster than I can try to taper it down.

She's gone and I have to get her back.

My thoughts are wild and desperate but so are my fists. Four's eyes look glassy when he hits the ground, and I don't stop. I can hear his protests, somewhat firm and somewhat stupidly pleading, but I ignore them.

I can feel her; her hands in my hair- the way they'd comb through it as though she had every right to touch me, her legs wrapped around my waist, the way she'd always kissed me with her eyes closed and her nose against mine- as though I was all she ever needed, and her gentleness would somehow seep from her skin to mine.

It hurts, more than Four's head probably does, and the feeling rips through my entire body. It burns through every single nerve in my entire system, sparking hotter and faster as I think of her. She's the only one I've ever allowed this close to me, the only woman who's ever shared my bed in a way other than simply for some carnal release. The only one who's ever curled themselves into me, her hands searching for my skin as she anchored herself to me night after night.

The only one I'd ever felt anything for.

The only person I'd ever loved.

Who'd loved me.

I swallow thickly and I can feel my breathing ragged and uneven.

"Fuck, Eric stop!"

The words are yelled, screamed really, from someone behind me. I don't stop though; Four doesn't deserve any mercy and I can't stop myself. The urge to hurt is uncontrollable, overwhelming in its most basic form. I hold his throat in place, my fingers pressing until the blood rushes under his skin.

Arms grab at me, pulling in an attempt to slow my attack. It's not until there are several pairs around me is it enough to jerk me back, snarling in a most feral manner at Four. It takes me a second to realize Max is behind me, along with Jeremy and Rylan. Jason helps Four up, his movements slow and dazed and I realize I've bruised his face rather well. His nose is bleeding profusely, and he wipes at it slowly, as though he isn't surprised I've hit him.

"You trained them, you mother fucking asshole." I spit the words at him, my stare boring into his. I swear the Stiff flinches, and he lets out a sharp, shaky exhale. "You're the reason he took her."

He looks right at me, and he nods. His guilt is all over his face and he doesn't bother to try and hide it.

"You don't think I feel bad…" He states the words lowly, his eyes still on mine. "I never thought they'd come after her. They wanted you."

"Oh, you never thought they would take her? How insightful." I sneer. He's lucky there are three men on me now. Jeremy's grip on my arm is tighter than I'd expect, but I get the feeling he's afraid I'll go after Four again if he lets me go.

"Eric stop it." Max's voice sounds strained, partially due to the awkward angle of his arm through mine. "Killing Four won't bring her back."

I let out a bark of unhinged laughter and I jerk my arm away from him. He gives, because he has no choice. I step closer to Four, and Rylan and Jeremy dig their fingers in to pull me back.

"Go get her. Go tell your mother to hand her over." My tone is lethal, and for a moment I don't give a fuck if anyone wasn't clued in about Four's little escapades. I'd put it together a while ago, and the pieces had fit together rather satisfactorily. It was Rylan who solidified the theory. He'd told me the woman Four went to see looked just like him, and after a few hours of digging, his life story unfolded neatly in my lap.

Unfortunately, his mommy issues had just cost me Everly.

"Go. Now." I hiss at him, and he wipes at his nose again.

"They won't hand her over to me. They're well aware of who she is. I show up there looking for her and they'll know you sent me..." His words are rough, as though it hurts to speak. "They want you. They're going to use her to draw you to them. Until you give them what they want."

I don't move.

"What do they want?" Desperation is washing over me now, heavy and leaden, but I push it away.

"I don't know." Four answers, and he winces. "But I know they won't hurt her. They'll want her alive until you get there."

My hands ball into fists, and Max hisses my name.

"Eric, calm down. They won't win against us. Certainly not against you."

"I'll kill them all." I tell Four, really everyone, loudly. He shakes his head, and his eyes close when I keep going. "Including your mother."

"Eric." This time, Rylan steps on my foot and shoves me back a step. "We'll leave now. We'll go get her. She'll be back tonight. Just…stop for a minute. Calm down."

I look up at him, and I nod my head. He's right. I do need to calm down. I need to slow my heart rate to something that isn't threatening to explode through my ribcage. I will myself to breathe slower. I need them to let me go, to think I'm composed enough to not hurt him anymore, to not wish his death in the event of hers.

I can't even think about that.

Not right now.

I do think of it an hour later.

When Jeanine calls, and demands I head to Erudite. She's received the alert as well, and her tone is odd and sharply cheerful as she insists she can help me.

I leave Dauntless by myself, and I think of nothing but the raw, unrelenting fear slicing through my veins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to Bamberlee for editing this chapter. 
> 
> If you've read The Training, you know what's coming. You can always wait to read this with next week's update, or you can read this and ruin your weekend. The choice is yours. 
> 
> On that happy note, I hope everyone enjoys this chapter as if that's even possible.


	27. The Lowest Point and Then Some

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N#1: Just as a forewarning, (and if you follow me on tumblr, I've been saying this all week) I honestly think these next few chapters should be read together. I know it's painful to read them separately, and I feel bad posting them one week at a time. Just know that I'm well aware of this, and I'll do my best to get the next one update as quickly as I can. So read ahead if you want, or I won't be insulted if you wait for next weeks update :)
> 
> A/N #2: Speaking of next week, I will be in Disneyland with my family for Thanksgiving. I will still be updating on Friday, I just don't know when! But just so no one feels the need to point out how it's never updated on time, I will be on vacation lol. With my demand my attention at all times. And with hotel wifi. So it'll be updated at some point, I promise.
> 
> And finally:
> 
> Thank you so much to Bamberlee for your editing skills! Thank you for getting this chapter back so quickly!
> 
> Thank you so so SO much to everyone who reviewed, even if it was to tell me you were waiting until Everly returns to catch up. I 100% understand. I will say this chapter should feel familiar (if you read Everly's version right before) but also new. There's a lot of new information in it, and it's worth a read even if Everly isnt' back yet. There were also some minor changes made to the last chapter, so thanks for all your suggestions :)
> 
> Thanks for following along. Have a good weekend!

He slams her head into the wall.

I close my eyes, but the image is still there, burned into my retinas. I can see her dark hair fly forward as he does it over and over, until she's dizzied enough that she can't try to get away from him. Luckily for her, he stops the minute he thinks she's unconscious. Even through the grainy security footage, I can see him hurrying, rushing his movements to make sure he had time. He wasn't as precise as he had been when he was punching the bags, but he hadn't been expecting her to put up a fight.

Everly had done her best to get away from him. She had fought him off, trying to claw at him even when he picked her up. It was a losing battle when he hit her head the first time, and the second time, I see the life knock out of her.

It is hard to watch.

Peter had sent it to my phone while I drove to Erudite. I'm sure in his tiny mind, he thought I'd find this helpful, seeing just what had happened. It wasn't. It made it worse. I swung wildly between dark, blinding rage, and the insane horror that I needed to get back there. I needed to do something. I knew that Dauntless was firing on all cylinders to find her, and yet, I was driving away in the opposite direction.

The security footage doesn't make it any better.

The image of Everly being picked up, thrown around by the boy she'd been training, and shoved head first against the wall to knock her out was unbearable to watch. My stomach had clenched up hard enough that I felt like I'd been hit, and I'd been forced to watch the only person I had ever felt anything for be ripped away from me.

Realistically, she'd done all she could to get away.

He was far larger than her, and once she was in his arms, there was nothing she could do except kick and thrash and pray she hit a vulnerable spot on him.

I close my eyes as tightly as possible.

I could still see the look of surprise on her face when he touched her. The way Colton had crept up right behind her, casual as ever. His motions only becoming frantic when he realized his plan had worked, and now he had to get out of there before someone caught on. My head begins to throb as I think of her, and I swallow down the bile rising up my throat.

I am enraged.

Utterly and completely enraged.

She'd been taken, and I'd been called to Erudite.

I couldn't even refuse, because Jeanine had called herself, and told me this involved Everly. I'd gone on the slimmest of hopes that Jeanine wasn't bullshitting me, and maybe she'd be a step ahead of us.

That hope died when I sat down in her conference room and waited an exorbitant amount of time before a random assistant showed up.

"Eric, she'll be right in."

Ages later, I open my eyes to bright lights, white hot bulbs burning these precious minutes away, and I find Jeanine and Ashley standing right in front of me.

 

 

He walks Everly through the hallway.

At some point, someone should have noticed that something was wrong.

After all, the second part of the video showed Everly being more or less drug along by an initiate. Colton had some common sense, and he used most of it to make sure it looked like he was helping her. I'd watched this part closely, and I'd noticed his grip on her was tight, and he moved gracelessly. He jerked her around, her head hitting his shoulder every few steps as he made his way toward the exit, and he was on high alert.

He talked to someone.

That part of the video infuriated me enough that I'd slammed the phone down, nearly shattering the screen.

Colton had slowed down enough to mutter at someone, someone I couldn't make out, and then he'd kept going. They must not have seen anything suspicious about him, and I wanted their blood when I returned. I watched him take a left, pausing briefly as he tried to figure out where he was, then keep going, as yet again- no one stopped him. His route made little sense. In his great moment of violence, he'd become turned around. He looped past a hallway leading to the exit twice, but he never seemed to figure out he was lost.

He walked right beneath the security cameras.

He'd jerked on her again, and this time, his gaze had flicked up. It took him only a second to notice the blinking light, and he'd looked right at the camera, smirking when he knew he was being watched.

But he wasn't.

That was the part that made me want to murder every single person in the control room. While Colton was dragging Everly through the hallways, the screens sat blinking. His form would appear on them, and you could easily see Everly wasn't going along willingly, but no one had caught it. I knew they'd all have an explanation. A thin excuse. Someone had stepped away to get coffee. Someone turned their head right as Colton grabbed her. A quick glimpse would have made it look like they were simply walking along. That she was fine or maybe she'd gotten sick, but she'd be okay because he was helping her.

But they didn't see any of that.

They missed when she tried to get away one final time. When she fought her hardest against him, only to be slammed back into the wall. How her head hit the wall last, but that was enough. She slumped against him, and he took off.

"Eric, I have to say, what has happened…well this is an utter shock."

Jeanine's voice rips me back to the present moment.

I look at her, but I see nothing. I see sunlight, as Colton bolted through the doors, carrying my wife out with him. I see her dark hair, falling down over Colton's back and I see the soldiers realize what's going on, holding their fire on the orders of a naïve supervisor.

It was too late.

All too late.

He'd thrown her over his shoulder so he could hurry, and Karl had been right. While they could have attempted to get a clean shot in, Colton had unconsciously prevented them from firing at him to save Everly. Even I had to admit that while they could have shot him, they also could have shot her.

"I think we can all agree this is a viable example of why the factionless should be kept in line. What happened today was a tragedy, and once we move forward, I know Dauntless will agree that taking great pains to fix this problem is our next step."

"What?"

I look up at her, fully seeing her for the first time since I'd arrived.

She looks alive, crackling with an odd, wiry electricity about her.

"I'm going to find her. As soon as we're done." I look up at Jeanine and my brain works two steps slower than I'd like. My mind is still on where he'd taken her. Why. How I could get her back. So far, the news had been slow from the squads that had gone out. I'd checked repeatedly, until my eyes hurt from staring at the glare of the screen and my mouth had gone dry.

"Eric." Jeanine presses her lips together tightly. Not out of sympathy or horror at what's gone on. To stop them from turning up. "I think we all know that the odds of Everly returning are not very good. They're using her to make a point. You rushing down there, giving them what they want, well that gives them control. You can't play their games. You know that."

I want to blink but I can't.

I feel a wave of numbness wash over me, as though she's talking about someone else.

Someone other than Everly.

"The honest fact of the matter is, Everly was a distraction to you. You're well aware that your focus has shifted in the past few months, and not the way we'd like it to."

Jeanine paces while she talks, hands clasped behind her back, and her shoulders pulled up. She talks with ease, her thoughts clearly rehearsed, and occasionally, she looks at me like she's waiting for me to interrupt. Behind her, Ashley does her best to look sympathetic. She shares the same buzzy electricity that Jeanine does, as though this is what the two of them have been waiting for.

I stare right through her.

"I'm going to find her. And when I do, I'll kill every factionless there. But I will bring her back if it's the last thing I do."

My words are tight and tense, sharp as the knife I'd like to stab Jeanine with. She frowns harder and clasps her hands in front of her.

"Eric, Everly won't be returning. The factionless took her to get to you. Don't you see it? And now, you're going to make a point to them that you won't be giving in. Do you understand?"

She looks right at me, with an intensity behind her eyes that's been missing the past few times I've seen her. I suddenly realize she's been reenergized by this. She firmly believes this will push me back to her, showing me how wrong I've been.

"Are you asking me to leave my wife there? With the factionless? So they can kill her?" I narrow my eyes at her, not sure if I'm hearing this correctly. "Are you fucking serious?"

"I'm not asking you," Jeanine answers slowly. "I'm telling you."

"Absolutely not." I snarl, but she interrupts.

"Eric, I'm done with this. I have given you everything, and you're about to throw it all away. Everything you've ever worked for. All because of some girl from Amity. Is that really what you want?" Jeanine steps closer to me, and Ashley shakes her head at me from behind her. "You want to spend your days with some little farm girl? As no one? Just another pointless member of Amity?"

"I will find her. I will find her, and then I'll kill anyone who tried to stop me." I don't hesitate in pointing this out, and Jeanine has the audacity to glare at me.

"If you're so hung up on the idea of your wife, then…" She pauses and looks back at Ashley. "We'll find you a new one. Once this is over. You can pick whoever you'd like. From whatever…faction you'd like. You'll forget about Everly in no time. I think we can all agree this was fun, but now it's time to get back to what you promised me."

I stare at her, as the rage builds. It starts slowly, then rushes up like I might vomit all over her table.

"Fuck you." My voice is hoarse now, and Ashley's expectant gaze drops immediately. "Fuck you both."

"I can see you're worked up over this. Maybe now isn't the appropriate time for this discussion. Ashley, take him downstairs and find him a room. I've already arranged for you to stay here for the night. If you're so insistent upon finding this girl, then you'll accept the help I offer. You can work from here and together we'll handle this the way I want. So the factionless understand who they're dealing with. And if not, if we come up empty handed, you'll return to your orders from before."

Jeanine scratches the words into my skin, and I have half a mind to storm out. But Ashely is staring at me, and every time her stare meets mine, she shakes her head like she's trying to tell me something. She looks hesitant, a rare expression for her.

"If you choose not to do as I say, then not only will you lose everything, your mother and father will as well. I'll make sure of it. You and I had a deal, and you will follow through with it."

"You wouldn't." I retort, and Ashley clears her throat. Her eyes are wild, and she shifts her weight on her feet.

"Eric…it's alright. Just…give it some time." Ashley is oddly quiet, and she looks at Jeanine out of the corner of her eye. "I think…in the morning, things will feel different."

"Doubtful." I snarl, but I realize I'll have to play along. I have no choice. My only hope is that Jason or Rylan find something, or someone calls with some news. Soon.

I can manage Dauntless from here, and if need be, I'll leave the minute I get word.

 

 

The hallway is silent except for the clacking of Ashley's shoes.

She walks with me, keeping a careful distance as though I might rip her apart if she wanders over too close.

She's right.

I will.

She stays a few steps ahead, until we reach the next building. There, she waits for me to walk through the large, glass doors, making sure I haven't left. I know exactly where she's taking me, and I have absolutely no desire to stay here. In fact, Ashley isn't all that stupid. I'm fighting down the urge to bolt. Jeanine's threat to my parents shouldn't matter. It doesn't matter. There's little chance she'd actually follow through with it, but she could. She could destroy their lives just as easily as she was destroying mine.

But none of that would matter if I didn't have Everly.

"Do you really think they'll kill her?" Ashley dares to look at me and I have to ignore the urge to shove her against the wall.

"They won't if they know what's good for them."

Ashley's expression changes, dropping from her sympathetic stare to irritation.

"Don't you think…maybe it's for the best? I mean, once you started with her…" She pauses and catches my stare. "You'd really throw everything away because of her? You're not afraid that Jeanine won't try to kill you both?"

"I thought I told you to fuck off." I answer through gritted teeth, and my hands clench together. "Everly and I are none of your business."

"You made her my business when you decided it was her over me." Ashley steps closer to me, and her sympathetic expression changes to something dark. "Are you really in love with her? Is that why you're acting like this?"

"Yes."

I answer honestly, because really, there is nothing else that could possibly happen that could be worse than today. When Ashley's face flashes to deep displeasure, I feel a fleeting speck of triumph, but it's gone almost immediately.

"You know," She stops walking and turns to face me. She's so close she's nearly touching my chest, and I feel a wave of repulsion at the sight of her. "Jeanine's right. She's not worth it. Even if you think you love her. Besides, you and I both know they'll kill her when you don't show up. Just do what Jeanine asks and things will get back to normal."

Her words are spoken mockingly, and this time, I do shove her into the wall.

Just like Four, it feels good for a second, the rush of anger mixed with the physical action of watching her shriek as she hits the pristine white wall.

"If you say one more word…" I threaten, and for the first time, Ashley looks terrified of me. "I'll kill you. I don't care who you are. I will rip your fucking head off. For now, I will stay here until the moment I get word they know where Everly is, and then I'm leaving. But I'll kill you before I go. Mark my words."

"Eric…" Her protest is both angry and watery, but it does nothing to slow down the burning hatred I feel for her.

"You will never be her. Ever. You never even came close to her."

She stares up at me with a hollow expression, and slowly raises one hand to rub at the back of her head. "You'll regret this. Jeanine isn't going to let you get away. You're just as guilty as she is."

I stare down at her just long enough that I can rip the key out of her hand. I step around her, opening up the door to a dark room, and I slam it shut behind me.

She's right.

About everything.

And she knows it.

I stand in the darkness, letting it consume me, until I hear Ashley get up and limp away.

 

 

Rylan calls an hour later. He greets me with a defeated sounding hello, and my own answer is dull and flat.

"So uh, we're heading out again. I just wanted to keep you updated since you had to leave." He pauses, and I hear the commotion of Jason yelling at soldiers to fall in order. There's the start of an engine, and someone asking for a final headcount. "We haven't found…Everly yet. Or anything. We followed where Colton was last seen heading on the cameras, but he disappears about a mile or so after that. Because of the patrols running through there, there's no way to trace any trail. Any footprints he left are gone."

I stay silent.

"We, uh, Eric we're trying. Harrison took off on foot with a group that he trained for those rescue missions. Remember the one where we had to pretend someone had been kidnapped and you suggested we use Four as the actual victim?"

"Yeah." My answer is still flat, but his words make me feel maybe half a percent less shitty.

"Yeah, well he took out the entire team. Turns out, he's trained over one hundred people for situations like this. He left immediately. Um, that is, once we explained who Everly was."

I swallow thickly.

"Eric…"

"Is. Who Everly is." I correct him, ignoring the way he swallows heavily.

"I know, man. We're…trying. Max is out there, too."

"I just should be there. Not here." I answer, and my words hurt my chest. I stare around the dull room, feeling like the walls are closing in on me.

"What did Jeanine want? Is she helping?" He asks, and I hear the door of the truck slam shut.

"No. She's not. She told me to move on. That I'm distracted, and I'm not to go after the factionless."

"What the fuck?" Rylan's response is immediate. "Is she out of her mind?"

"Maybe. She offered me…" I stop, because it's nearly impossible to say the second half of my sentence.

"She offered you what?"

"Another wife." I stare at the flooring. At the laces on my boots until Rylan clears his throat.

"You're shitting me."

"No. She said that going to the factionless would be what they wanted. And I'd be making a point by not going." I find myself chewing on the side of my cheek, and all I can think of is Everly, with them. Unconscious. Or maybe conscious by now, wondering why I hadn't come to find her.

"Hey, man don't worry. We'll find her. If Jeanine wants you to stay there, stay there. Play her little game. No one is stopping until we find Everly, you hear me?"

"Thanks." I mutter, and I close my eyes. "Tell Jason thanks, too."

"I will. I'll call you tonight." Rylan answers, hesitating for a brief second. "Eric, hey…she's gonna be fine. Don't forget- you trained her. If anyone can survive the factionless, it'll be her. So, don't…don't think anything else, okay?"

"Okay."

I hang up slowly, staring at my reflection on the screen.

I half-heartedly set the phone on the nightstand beside me, and I decide to take a quick shower. I take a drink of the bottle of water someone's placed there, and I stare at myself in the mirror. I look unrecognizable, especially as I take off the Dauntless uniform jacket. I walk into the bathroom, flicking on the lights, and everything is too bright.

My entire body feels heavy. Every limb feels like it's detached from my body, and I don't feel anything, not even the burning hot water that I eventually stand in for far too long.

 

 

"Are you feeling any better?" He asks me.

I'm seated at a large table in what appears to have been a banquet hall. This particular building had been renovated for those visiting Erudite. It was set up as a modern day version of a hotel; multiple floors with endless rooms, a grand hall not quite as nice as the one we'd had our leadership dinner in, but still nice. There is a fitness center, a business lounge that I only knew about because of the door plate next to it, and a pool.

No one ever stayed here for long.

It had a sticky, lingering feeling of doom that lurked in every corner. Maybe it was all the white and blue, or maybe the glass and marble, but it managed to feel claustrophobic instead of welcoming. Sterile. At one point, each faction had the idea of hosting other leaders, perhaps even members from other factions for special events. The idea had fallen flat once Jeanine realized having the factions mix together wasn't good news for her, but the buildings still remained.

I'd spent the night here, having taken a shower and fallen into a depressed, wretched night of uneasy sleep. I would have assumed I was drugged, because I woke up feeling ill. Sweaty. Nauseated. Jeanine had knocked on the door at some point in the morning and told me to get dressed. I waited for her to mention Everly, or to say something, but she'd simply watched me with a disappointed look on her face. After one long silence between the both of us, she told me I had a visitor.

It wasn't who I expected, but it didn't make anything better or worse.

It was like I was existing in some sort of painful limbo of hell, and I couldn't get out.

"Eric?"

I look at Daniel and I shake my head.

"I'm fine. I just…I have work to do. I shouldn't be here."

Daniel presses his lips together and nods.

I hadn't seen him in a long time. He looks exactly the same as I remembered him though; his hair is neatly parted, and his glasses are thick and black. His royal blue jacket is freshly pressed, and so are his dress shirt and slacks. His wedding ring looks heavy on his finger, and he stares at the one on mine with a great intensity.

To my dismay, he is my guest.

Jeanine had sent for him, only to show me that she could, and would, destroy him.

I had barely blinked when she walked in with him.

I hated him, and I'd hated him for most of my life. I'd half expected him to tell me he had to leave, that his work was calling, but he didn't. Once she left, he sat in front of me, looking overly concerned, and I'd done nothing but stare right back at him. It was hard to feel anything grateful about his presence when he looks just as miserable as I feel, and I know he's just as reluctant to be here as I am.

"I heard…about… Everly."

I slowly meet his stare.

"Why are you here?" I interrupt him, and he pulls himself up straighter.

"Jeanine called me this morning and told me you were here. She said your wife had gone missing and you were in Erudite, asking for help to find her. I was surprised she called, but I'll help you if I can. Do you know where she could have gone?"

I feel unhinged.

"She didn't go missing." I answer slowly, sitting up in the seat. "She was taken from Dauntless by an initiate. We think he took her to the factionless."

Daniel frowns. "Why? Why would they want her?"

"To get to me." I answer roughly. "Don't be stupid, Daniel. You know I've been helping Jeanine for years. I've helped enforce the rules that made them factionless. They aren't happy about it, and now they've become a problem. They've been attacking people, sending members to gun us down." I pause, shrugging my shoulders. "They knew Everly was married to me, and they took her so I'd go get her. They want something from me in exchange for her, but I don't know what. Jeanine, who mentioned she'd ruin your life here if I don't do what she's asked, wants me to forget about Everly. She said I'll make a bigger point by not going."

"I have no doubt Jeanine would try to follow through with that." Daniel pauses and glances back at the door. "I didn't think she called out of the kindness of her own heart. Especially since she called me and not Blythe."

"I don't care if she ruins your life." I point out nastily, and to his credit, Daniel doesn't seem offended. "I want my wife back. I don't want to be sitting here, waiting for Jeanine to decide my next move."

"What will they do if you don't go?" Daniel takes a sip of the coffee someone has brought, and he shakes his head. "Will they let her go?"

"They'll kill her." I snarl, and Daniel has the decency to flinch away.

"I know your… I know Jeanine doesn't like her. She doesn't like anyone who keeps people from focusing on her-"

"I don't fucking care who she likes." I find myself hissing the words at my father, unable to stop. "I'm not staying here. Dauntless is working to find Everly, and as soon as I can, I'm going to go get my wife back. And when I do, anyone who tried to stop me will pay, one way or another."

"Don't do anything just yet. Give her time. She might be able to help you." Daniel suggests, and he looks like he's thinking hard about something. "I uh, I'm sorry Jeanine is doing this to you. There has to be another way…maybe a compromise the two of you can make."

"Have you ever known her to compromise on anything? Ever?" I snap, and Daniel shakes his head.

His shoulders bow downward, and he does look sorry, though not as sorry as I feel.

I grow antsy, and combined with the shitty sleep and the permanent, unrelenting pain in my chest, I feel nauseous. I know I need to do something, other than sit here and hope my friends have found her.

"Can you get me something to eat? Some toast or something. So I can get out of here." I sound irritable and I am.

"Sure." Daniel notices; he stands up to find someone, presumably an assistant or someone who works here, and he leaves me sitting there without saying anything.

As soon as he's out the door, I pull out my phone and call Rylan.

 

 

"They want a war."

"What?" I bark at him, eating the eggs with little interest. I'm not really hungry. I'd simply wanted Daniel to leave my side so I could think. I was wasting time sitting here but calling Rylan would be the first step in my plan of action.

Unfortunately, he hadn't answered.

He had called back, once Daniel had returned with breakfast for the both of us.

"Yeah. We uh, found a couple of them. Shot one. Dragged the others in. Apparently, they want to make a deal with you and if you don't agree, all hell will break loose."

"Why me?" I ask, and Daniel frowns when his own phone rings. He stands up to answer it, and I hear him mutter a rough greeting to who I can only assume is Blythe.

"Why not you?" Rylan answers, and he sounds dejected. "They knew all about you. Who you were. What work you've done for Jeanine. All insider shit. They told us they want to talk with you, but you'll have to go through their leader. None of them will fess up to where Everly is, and none of them claim to have even seen her. I called Jack on your behalf, but I got his voicemail. I'm still waiting for him to call me back."

"Fuck!" I snap, and I slam my fork down. "This isn't good."

"They hate Jeanine." Rylan's voice is low in my ear, and Daniel gestures wildly at something. "They want her dead is what we got out of it. Harrison is still working to find their location and it won't be long now. So…there's hope."

"Why do you sound like there isn't?" I hiss and Daniel's shoulders drop as he paces back and forth.

"Well, I have to be honest. They uh, they know a lot about you. Like, a lot. I think I was right about Four, and he's given them all the answers as to how to get to you."

I sit there, and my blood turns ice cold.

"I don't know if he did it on purpose, but he's been laying low. Max already revoked everything he could to keep him in Dauntless, and I'm sure if you ask nicely, he'll let you prosecute him with the factionless. He wasn't too impressed that Four was helping them, even if he had good intentions. We spent a good hour listening to his reasoning as to why he was visiting them."

"His definition of good intentions is skewed." I mutter.

Rylan laughs, then coughs to cover it up. "He's stuck in the control room. He wouldn't look at any of us when we walked in, though he did say…"

"I'll kill him." I swear loudly, and Daniel looks over at me in surprise. "As soon as I'm back. But fine, just…keep me updated. I'll leave tonight."

"I will."

I hang up at the same time as Daniel. He slowly walks back over, and the look on his face tells me our bonding time is over. He slides the phone back in his pocket and closes his eyes briefly.

"I have to head back. I've got a few patients in critical care and one just took a turn for the worse. I'll find Jeanine before I leave."

"Don't bother." I stand up, shoving the plate aside. "I'll find her myself."

"Let me at least walk you out. I'm sorry I'm not more help. I don't…I don't quite know what you want me to do. Or how I could help."

He sounds confused as he falls in step with me, and I glare at him while we walk.

"I have a hard time believing Jeanine hasn't clued you in on what's going on. I know she talks to you. Arlene told me she was trying to get you to use her serums in your surgery." I point out, and his shrug mirrors my own from earlier. We walk down the long hallway, and Daniel holds the door open for me.

"You know I don't believe in everything Jeanine does. I've had my suspicions since day one." He looks left and right, then motions for me to go ahead. "I've long known she's power hungry. She wants total control over everyone, and I want no part of that. I refused her suggestion of the trial serums."

"Can you tell me anything about them?" I ask suddenly, and he stops a step behind me. "Were they new? Or why she wanted you to use them-"

"They weren't the newest batch, but you know that." Daniel looks right at me. "You mentioned Everly had received them as a vaccine so I assume you know which ones she got…"

"I didn't want her reacting to them. I had Arlene give them to her in small doses, so she'd eventually build up a tolerance."

"Which round of serums did you use?" Daniel asks, and he squints at me. "You know that two of the largest batches went missing? That she was forced to redo them? She tried to send me the newest one to use in a trial but they vanished before I got the chance to refuse them."

"What?" I stare at him, and I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me. "What do you mean they went missing?"

"I…I don't quite know. I was asked if I received my shipment, and when I said no, I was contacted by someone from her office. They let it slip that someone had taken them, and they were checking to make sure I hadn't received everything by accident. Someone wanted them. They wanted to know what she was working on." Daniel's phone beeps, and he pulls it out of his pocket. "You were smart to have Everly immunized against them. In the event they were tampered with, or someone else knows what she's up to, these serums might be used against her. Maybe against you, as well."

He looks at me strangely, like he's never quite realized just exactly how involved in all this I was.

"Did she send you anything else?" I ask.

"No. She dropped it. But it wasn't that long ago. That was the last time I heard from her. I was surprised when she said she needed to see me today." Daniel answers his phone, and I catch Blythe's name across the screen. He holds the phone down, pressing his palm over the speaker. "I have known for a long time that Jeanine isn't the person she pretends to be. Neither are you."

With that, he returns to talking to Blythe, calmly telling her he's on his way, and I stand there.

I watch him leave until I can't see him, and this time, my phone rings shrilly.

 

 

The news is shit.

I sink into a fancy desk chair, watching Jeanine pace back and forth while she talks to those around me. I'd missed Rylan's call, but I'd managed to answer Jason's. For twenty minutes, I listened to him rattle off the same details Rylan had given me, only a second time. He sounds more stressed, and his voice cracks a bit when he tells me Harrison had returned with a few more factionless.

They hadn't gotten anything more out of these than before.

They all seemed to have some undying loyalty to their unofficial leader, and none of them dared to cross her. I listened to Jason ramble, discussing how she was powerful, simply because she had given them hope. My ears rang when he told me they wanted to be heard, and she was giving them that chance.

In my mind, I saw her plan come together neatly, almost like a spider web. Each piece perfectly placed together, but one wrong move would tear it apart.

She was smart, this Evelyn. Smarter than I'd given her credit for.

But that didn't mean I'd let her get away with this.

He'd started to tell me something else, and his voice had changed. Jason sounded nervous, but the connection dropped, and when it reconnected, he apologized over and over until I hung up.

"Eric, are you alright with sending your soldiers back out that way?" Jeanine looks at me, and her skin is paler than ever. Her sharp hair sways as she walks over to me, and I nod with little interest. She had asked to oversee where the soldiers were going, and she'd painfully scaled them back and sent them to the areas she saw fit. Not even the news of finding the factionless in the areas we had scoped out made her change her mind.

She was clearly doing her best to prove she'd ruin my life if I didn't do what she wanted.

"Good. We'll hopefully make some progress on this today. Then things can start looking up around here."

She flashes me a blinding smile, a sickeningly knowing grin that hints she's won. I've spent the afternoon with her, analyzing a security feed from her laptop. She'd used this time to push her factionless agenda back onto me, neatly covering up the real issue of Everly being kidnapped. She and I had watched various security feeds that she had control over, though it was similar to those we watched in Dauntless. I looked for anything that was remotely out of the ordinary, but in the end, there was nothing.

"I'm leaving tomorrow." I announce, and her gaze whips back to me.

"Absolutely not." She chirps, and she stares down at me. "You have work to do. We haven't even begun to talk about the things that have happened here. You focused your soldiers elsewhere, forgetting about Erudite. We've had a few instances that need your attention, immediately. You'll be going nowhere until this little problem is under control."

"I told you," I answer slowly, and I stare right back at her. "I'm going to find my wife. I can't do anything here, watching some shitty feed of your delivery schedule. If you'd listen, you'd realize we're fighting the same issue."

"Everyone please, give Eric and I a moment alone." Jeanine's voice changes, and the room falls silent. I'm only looking at her, but I can see people scrambling to leave, rushing out of the room before her wrath falls to them. "Eric, I have to say, I'm not overly impressed with how you're handling this. In fact, did you hurt Ashley? Is there a reason my assistant came back and claimed you threw her against the wall? I know you're…upset over the loss of Everly, but Ashley came back with a story that makes me think maybe you aren't on the right side of this. Maybe you're a little too sympathetic to the factionless. Is that because Everly would have been factionless had you not married her?"

I stare at Jeanine, and the hatred is so palpable I can taste it.

"Or have your training methods fallen to the wayside these days? Maybe I should be looking for help elsewhere."

Her words are cold and clear, and I should react to them.

I don't.

"I'm leaving tonight. I've been here long enough."

I stand up abruptly, nearly knocking her out of the way. She calls out my name a few times, but I ignore her. I ignore everything. I leave the room immediately, walking out through the heavy doors and finding her staff waiting for her to call them back in. I ignore every single one of them, and I head back to the room I'd been staying in.

I have a decision to make, and it has to be done now.

 

 

"Don't do anything just yet."

Max's voice is low and hurried, and he sounds panicked over the crackly connection.

"Eric, just listen to me. I know you want out of there and I know you feel like you aren't doing anything. But Harrison found where he thinks they're hiding out. We're sending out a few groups tonight. Once we have a confirmed location, we'll call you in."

"I'm leaving-" I start to hiss right back at him, but he cuts me off.

"No, you need to stay there." Max insists, and the connection drops as he rushes somewhere. "Look, I got an email from Jeanine. I got an email from Jack. I got an email from someone claiming to be Andrew Prior. Right now, you need to play along with what Jeanine is doing. Don't let her get to you. If these factionless want a war, then we'll give them a war. But you need to keep Jeanine busy until we can figure all this out."

"Everly could be dead by now." I snarl, listening as something beeps on Max's end.

"She's not dead. They aren't stupid. They want you there, and they know you'll come for her. We just need to be smarter than them."

"Fine." I practically roar the word, reluctantly giving in, not just because he's possibly right. But because someone is knocking on my door. "I have to go. I'll call you tonight."

He doesn't answer.

I hang up before he can, and I open the door slowly, fully prepared to face Jeanine.

It isn't her, but someone with an envelope in their hands.

"This is for you. Jeanine said you might want it. She said it might help you make your decision."

I take it from him carefully, and he's very pointed to not touch my hand. I open it once he leaves, and it takes me a long time to read through the paperwork she's printed out for me.

A wave of slow, hot, dizzying horror washes over me.

It's every single project I've ever helped her on, with my name neatly attached to them. Every person I've brought before her. Every death, either as a result of my own hands or what she'd done to them once I'd brought them to her. Every idea and concept she'd come up with.

Every single meeting I'd sat in on.

My name, with endless amounts of adulation, with points thrown my way as payment for my services, with an attached agreement to take the Leadership position in Dauntless and her signature to solidify the deal.

I look up slowly, realizing this is enough to incriminate me in any trial, no matter what else I have on her.

I call her with my head down, and I agree to stay a few more days.

 

 

At the end of the third day, Jeanine puts a name to the factionless leader. I stare at her dully from the seat beside her, keeping quiet that I'd told her this information the day I arrived.

She looks at me cheerfully, ignoring the fact that I hadn't slept in days. In fact, other than my first night here, I'd been unable to sleep for more than an hour or so at a time.

I couldn't.

Everything in me felt raw. Picked apart. Exposed for everyone in Erudite to see. I'd lost the only person I'd ever cared about, and with each passing day, the weight of that grew heavier and heavier. Everly had once told me that no one would notice if she had left Amity. She had confessed this against my chest, her small hands holding on as she silently asked me to look out for her.

She had asked me to look out for her.

And I couldn't even do that.

There was no amount of training that would save her. No amount of self-confidence, or high ranking that would enable her to simply walk away from the factionless unscathed. I had let her down, promising I'd never hurt her, and here I was, leaving her at their mercy. I tried to justify it over and over, the best I could. I firmly believed what Max told me; that his frequent and persistent phone calls to update me weren't just reassurance. That Everly was fine, that they wouldn't harm her because I hadn't shown up yet. He knew we were gambling with her life, and each day that slipped away left her fewer and fewer chances of surviving.

It ate at me. As I lie in bed, staring at the dark ceiling, I could feel it physically chew away at every inch of my being, until all that was left was bone.

I felt it; lightheaded and slow, delirious as I watch Jeanine and Ashley talk quietly.

Ashley looks at me every so often, and she blurs before me, morphing as a neat trick of the light.

I'd not seen her since I shoved her into the wall, and every look she shot me told me she was no longer hurt by my actions, but hopeful. Her emotions had settled after a few days, and even in her rage- she'd chosen to believe she had had a chance all along. That maybe she still did. After all, what better way to work her way back into my life than as the consoling second choice I never asked for?

Even now, she doesn't smile, but it's there, behind her stare. That maybe she'll get her way, if she can only survive long enough to be the last one standing.

"Eric? Will you come look at this?"

I stand up automatically, worn down from the lack of everything. I hadn't really eaten, hadn't slept, had barely had anything to drink other than coffee. I glance at the map in front of me, and the area Jeanine has circled. She'd made up her own educated guess as to where the factionless were, and now her plans to flush them out had fallen when she realized she was wrong.

Max had been wrong, as well.

So had Harrison.

The building they had found the factionless in had been empty, but there were plenty of others. We just had to have time to go through them.

"There's not a lot we can do now, Eric. We're wasting time and resources trying to find her." Jeanine pauses, and her tone is dissatisfied. "How do you know she didn't just run away?"

This was Jeanine's newest theory that she'd come up with out of nowhere. Despite having watched the security footage of Everly being taken away, she somehow had convinced herself that Everly had gotten up and walked out of her own free will. That she'd chosen to leave Dauntless, even though factual evidence told us otherwise.

"She wouldn't just leave. She was in the middle of training a class." I snarl the words with the last bit of remaining energy I have, done pointing out that this was all a waste of my time. "She's my wife, and she's missing, and I will find her."

"You still have work to do here. Let us not forget everything you've pledged your loyalty to. If you really insist upon having someone's company in your bed at night, then we'll find you an adequate substitute when you return."

I look up at her slowly, and she gestures at the door.

"You're to return to Dauntless tonight. Put together a team and find me this Evelyn. When you return with her, we'll reevaluate where you stand."

I blink, and just like that, I return to Dauntless.

 

 

 

My return is bleak.

I walk through the gates in a daze, and I head to the only place where I can function normally.

I take a seat at my desk, and I slowly pull out my phone. I call Rylan first, then Jason.

I call Max last, and the tone of his voice tells me he knew I'd returned.

I stare at the screen of my computer, until I can't look at the photo of Everly and I anymore. I can't be sure how many days pass, but it seems like everything and nothing happens.

I call Jack in the earliest hours of the morning. He listens to me, and I risk everything by talking on what he considers an unsecured line.

"Are you sure?" He asks, but his voice rises up slightly. "This is it?"

"I don't have any other options. But I'll give you everything I have." I answer quickly, and I eye the papers I'd brought back with me. "My name is on them as well. You're agreeing that if I pull this off, you'll back us? No questions asked? And you'll ignore my association to it all?"

"Eric, you've had my word from the beginning." Jack is quick to remind me. "All I asked for is your honesty. You've done your part. If you believe you have enough to prosecute Jeanine on, then you just say the word, and I'll help you."

I fall silent, and he notices.

"May I ask what prompts this now?"

I knew that was coming. I stare at the wall, and I slowly fill him in on what's happening. I know he knows about Everly's disappearance, but his occasional heavy exhale tells me he's realized this is beyond personal now.

"I'll email you the files. Just make sure your email settings are clear." I tell him. I'd had him follow the same process I had, uninstalling all of the Erudite security tracking on my laptop. He'd promised he'd done the same, but once I sent him this, there was no going back.

I was handing him Jeanine's downfall, but if I didn't play my cards right, it would be my own.

Once I hear him promise he has, I hit send, and I hang up the phone.

Colton's real name is Vincent, and he's hardly a teenager.

Jason slams the file down on my desk, and his stare is anything but triumphant.

"He's not…anyone. He's been factionless since birth. We're assuming he's been raised by Evelyn in preparation for...this...sort of thing. There's no medical history, no formal schooling, nothing. We got his face from the security feed and were able to match it with a video from a year ago. He was caught trespassing in Abnegation but they declined to do anything with him. He was returned to the factionless by orders from Marcus."

"Of course he was." I answer flatly, and the headache sits right behind my eyes. "And no one noticed this on his paperwork because…"

"There was none. We're assuming he took the place of an initiate who chose to come to Dauntless. Harrison is running a missing persons file, but you know, once people choose, they don't always show up. The kid could have deflected, and Colton slipped in. Kacie's count was off, but there were so many we didn't catch it. But uh, this guy, he'd been coached on just what to do by someone who knew what Dauntless was like on the inside. He knew how to act and fit in, and that way he went unnoticed."

I stare at him.

"Do you have to report that to Jeanine?" Jason asks, and he shakes his head. "You okay? Eric?"

"I'm fine." I dismiss him quickly, and he doesn't look like he believes me. "Just…I'm trying to figure out what to do next. I feel like I'm wasting time. I need to get …"

I stop and Jason is frowning.

"And uh, this came for you." He hands me an envelope, and this time, he looks uneasy. "It was delivered to the gates. It has your name on it. They said someone from Amity dropped it off."

I take it from him slowly, and it does have my name on it. Written neatly and taped up. I squint at it, then him, and Jason shrugs.

"You gonna open it?"

"Yeah, stay here." I answer, reaching for a pen. I stab the tape with far too much force and the box gives. It comes apart instantly, and I pull out the envelope that's placed inside it. There's nothing else with it, so I open up the letter.

I skim it at first, then I read it a second time.

Then a third.

My eyes blur when I realize it's from Evelyn.

 

 

 

Night falls and I find myself sitting on the roof.

I sit with my back against the wall, a drink in my hand, and the letter on my lap. It is long, well written, and elegantly printed. I'd read it a few times, hoping that the words would somehow change themselves with each passing glance, to something that was far more pleasing than what had been sent to me.

It never happened.

I'd opened it in my office, sitting across from Jason. The letter was a stark demand for my alliance with the factionless, and an official invite to pledge my loyalty to them. On paper, Evelyn was witty and sly. She knew I could help her, and with the backing of the Dauntless faction, she'd have the momentum she needed to get what she wanted. And what she wanted was no small task. She wanted my promise to help take down Jeanine, to allow the factions to live and grow under true peace, and to align myself with her. A complete overhaul of the system. A world in which the strict and rigid guidelines fell away, leaving Evelyn as our governing authority.

She spoke of the life she'd suffered through, and how this was owed to her. To all who the system had failed. To those I'd handed life sentences of misery to. The kicker of this all was my wife's life hung in Evelyn's hands. This letter would mean nothing if she didn't have Everly. But she did, and Everly's name was mentioned several times. To my great relief, she was alive. To my great horror, she was the person this entire scheme hinged upon.

I take a long swallow of the dark drink and I shut my eyes.

Evelyn was very specific in her wording, that if I didn't help her, then I wouldn't get Everly back.

Not only would I not get her back, but Everly wouldn't live to see the light of day as punishment.

If I could find Evelyn, I'd kill her on sight. She would be found guilty by any trial for these offenses, not just me. But I wanted her dead, thinking she could manipulate me like this, especially using Everly as her bargaining chip.

But worst of all, was it could work.

I had been close to agreeing to it, just to fucking have my hands in something. Anything to get Everly back. I thought of a million, frantic ways to make it work, the double crossing and backstabbing that was my specialty. I could possibly take the chance, letting her believe I'd help her, then killing her when I could.

But only because Max had told me no, firmly shaking his head and pointing out that nothing good would come from siding with her, had I rejected the idea. He pointed out that we'd find them, and when we did, we'd take Evelyn down easily. I hated to admit it, but I knew he was right. If I gave in to Evelyn, I was simply aiding another version of Jeanine. Evelyn was no better, and no matter how heavy the price was, I couldn't risk that.

There was also a very high chance that Evelyn was bullshitting me, and my agreement would mean nothing.

So I'd declined the offer, signing my name as my insides slowly and painfully wrenched themselves inches lower, and I'd left without uttering a word. I'd taken the original letter with me, reading it over and over as I finish my drink, until the unbearable feeling of guilt is numb.

Even with my plans in action, I felt unprepared. I'd sent Harrison back out to find where Evelyn was, and I'd tripled the amount of men and women helping him. Everyone else had been called into action, and they were all awaiting my word that we would leave.

I just had to find her.

I look up at the dark sky, almost as black as Everly's hair, and my chest cracks open.

I'd promised to keep her safe, and I'd failed. I'd failed her miserably, and now, she'd have physical proof of that when Evelyn read this letter. Everly wouldn't understand it. She wouldn't be able to read between the lines or know why I wasn't running out to find her.

She'd only hear my decision declining Evelyn's offer, leaving Everly with her.

I stare up at the pitch-black sky until my skin grows cold and I can no longer do anything but feel the burn of my decisions.

 

 

"How many do we have?"

I stare at Harrison, and for the first time in months, he looks normal.

"Two hundred men. We have twenty trucks ready to go on your command. All sides will be surrounded. We have an estimate that they have approximately a hundred or so factionless hanging out, but we'll also be bringing another hundred after our arrival. Each soldier is instructed to shoot to kill, to stay unless injured, and to return only once we have Everly back."

I nod, staring out over the vast wave of men and women readying themselves for battle.

"We'll be heading out as soon as they're ready. By my calculations, we'll have about forty-five minutes of drive time. If all goes according to plan, another hour or so before we can return home. Assuming Everly can keep herself out of trouble for that long, she'll be home with you tonight."

He claps me on the shoulder, nodding as Jason and Rylan appear with Four. They nod wordlessly, showing him a route on the tablet one of them has. He still looks like shit, bearing the brunt of my anger from days ago, but he'd appeared asking to help. I'm sure his own guilt was sky high now, especially when Everly didn't return.

It was also the least he could do, all things considered.

"Thank you for your help." I eye a few of the soldiers as they scramble past us, and Harrison watches them with the same critical stare.

"Don't thank me yet." He points out, but he sounds confident. "I'm sure this will go your way, but just be ready. From what I've learned, Evelyn's more manipulative than anything else. Don't believe everything you see."

I nod my head, watching Jason and Rylan shove Four away from them, and I decide to ride with Harrison.

We leave a few minutes later, and I stare straight ahead.

I have every intention of returning with my wife tonight, and every intention of killing Evelyn.


	28. Return To Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First and foremost, thanks to everyone who read the last chapter even after my warning! I felt way better that almost everyone was able to find something good in it. Unfortunately, I'll give you the same warning for this one. It's not a particularly cheery chapter, but we're almost there!! ALMOST.
> 
> Thanks so much to Bamberlee for editing this chapter so quickly! She sent it back in hopes that I could update it earlier, but I've had no time during this trip. I'm falling asleep now trying to format it, so if it looks wonky, my apologies in advance.   
> Thank you to all who read and reviewed the chapter, story, etc.
> 
> If you're celebrating, I hope you had a good Thanksgiving! Or at least got to go shopping.

We arrive as the afternoon begins to fall away.

Harrison drives silently, his gaze focused straight ahead. His jaw is tense as he steers the truck to a side street, and I bite back the urge to tell him to drive faster. I'd only gone along with him because I didn't trust myself to not drive the truck right through the building. Not to mention the fact he had found the location after a few days of trying. I'd blinked when he told me it was smack in the middle of a section of run-down buildings we had dismissed as being completely uninhabitable.

For several reasons.

This particular section didn't belong to anyone, really. The land fell in Candor, but the buildings were too decayed to live in or renovate, and too dirty even for the factionless. They were clustered together, at one point having been fancy and impressive store fronts and living spaces, but now sat rotting, groaning when the wind blew. Jack had asked a few times to have something done with them, but no one could agree on what.

But if we had, we would have discovered an entire world in them.

"Almost there," Harrison announces, and he speeds up as we approach the run down buildings. I glance back at the rear-view mirror, and the sight behind me makes me smirk.

Second after us, the large Dauntless trucks drive quickly, destroying everything in their path. The trail of them appears endless, and it was a warning to anyone watching that we weren't here to mess around. We'd brought everyone necessary, and there were more soldiers waiting. On my command, they'd rip the factionless limb from limb, leaving nothing uncovered until we found Everly.

"Over there," Harrison points to the largest building, one with boarded up windows that are nailed in X's. "From what I found, she's been holed up in there for some time now. She's got everyone staying with her, offering sanctuary for those who feel like they've been wronged. She's like an infestation that's spreading. She's even got her own version of security patrolling it."

He laughs when he says that part, but it's dry and unimpressed. I follow his stare and I'm not surprised they have factionless acting as security. Some of them are, no doubt, failed Dauntless initiates, and others are people whose violent nature has come in handy. As we get closer, I notice they are lined up all along the borders of the building, and their gazes are blank.

Until they spy us.

They turn their heads at the noise of the engines, and Harrison and I watch two men signal something. A code of sorts; a second later, more of them appear out of the woodwork. They fall into some sort of order as they prepare to attack. There is some semblance of organization to them, especially in the way they group together, but they are a faint ghost of how the Dauntless soldiers are trained.

I can see Four's influence and I'm only reminded that I'll deal with him when I'm back.

We don't waste any time.

Almost every one of our soldiers are out of the trucks before they can do anything, and we've opened fire before they know what's happening.

The gunfire is loud and unending, and my ears ring as I join them.

 

 

Much to my dismay, I don't see Everly.

Not right away, and not a good twenty minutes later.

My main focus is finding her, though I know better than to assume she'd be outside waiting for us to arrive. Their compound is large, spanning several dilapidated buildings and the back is lined with heavy, wire fencing where they'd been able to wrench it together to give a false sense of security. Their soldiers move around quickly to attempt to shoot us. They have the advantage of knowing the area well, but we are faster.

We gun them down, one by one.

I don't recognize any of them; I do catch flashes of black and maroon clothing, specks of blue, sleeves of grey, and even a few bursts of gold. I see nothing pink, or even close to what Everly had on when she was taken, but the colors blur before me as the worlds collide. In this war she's started, there is chaos spilling from every person. It ramps up quickly, their attack baseless as ever, but they do their best to keep up with us. There is more blood spilled than I'd imagined, and the factionless men and women are unable to hold us back. I idly wonder if this was what Evelyn wanted as one of her men gasps for air, blood trickling out of his mouth and nose. His eyes darken, eventually rolling upward, and I walk over him.

I don't see Everly.

Not amongst the lifeless bodies, nor amongst those fighting to stay alive.

I don't see Colton, either.

I walk through the gunfire with little hesitation. Despite their desire to find me, none of them are even focused on me. They're more focused on each other, shouting and yelling as they step back. It's like they've realized that they might not win. That despite the weak training they had, they were promised it would grant them ultimate success.

I glance around, and I notice a few are passable; I can tell they aren't entirely untrained, and their posturing mirrors our own soldiers. Except that they are afraid, and the first few mortally wounded set the tone for the others. I see it in their eyes as I stalk past, weapon drawn, willing to kill whoever got in my way. I see it on their faces, their bravery slipping away to reveal their sudden hesitation, that perhaps Evelyn had led them astray. I see it when a group of them falls to the ground, their clothes bloodied and their stares horrified, as they realize they've been used to further her plans.

That despite what she told them, she used them as her own army so she'd stay alive.

"There's no sight of her." Rylan yells as he catches up, and he wipes his forehead while we walk. "We checked all the way around. Harrison went to the left a few minutes ago."

"Fuck." I swear, and I kick someone out of my way. I barely look down at the groaning, only straight ahead toward where Rylan was going. "Did they get inside?"

"No, but someone thought-"

He's cut off by the loud burst of an explosion, and the front of the buildings shake. The foundation seems to sway unsteadily, and I turn wildly.

"Fuck, they're bombing us." Rylan yells, and a second later, he's yelling into his watch at someone else. "Fire now. We've got enough that we can hold them off all day. Fire at will."

All around us, things explode and react. Shots are fired, buildings and people are hit, and one of the truck's windshields explodes when one of their homemade fireworks lands on it. I catch sight of Jason, looking up in confusion at the noise.

"Move!" I scream at Jason, standing to the side cocking his head at it in disbelief. He leaps away, and a second bomb follows.

Their aim is shitty; it misses Jason, but it hits the door of the truck, and he jumps out of range just as the thing explodes. Luckily for us, their weapons may be our own, but their best efforts- the handmade explosives and the sloppily packaged bombs, don't work quite as well as they'd planned. Some explode, some don't. I can see their efforts as one lands by my foot, and I kick it away a second before it weakly explodes. The air grows smoky, hard to breathe as they continue to attack.

"I'm going in." I announce, and Rylan doesn't try to stop me. He nods, and resumes following after me.

I don't get very far.

A few steps in, I see who I can only assume is Evelyn, walking alone. Her dark hair falls in her face as she walks out from between two buildings, and she ducks her head down as her gaze sweeps over the sight in front of her. I notice the instant fall of dissatisfaction on her face, and the determined smile that follows.

Behind her, a man holds something, someone, in his arms. I can barely make out anything except for dark clothing, and he keeps the body against his chest. It's not Colton, and I can't be certain it's Everly, but I have the sinking suspicion it is.

I take off immediately.

I scream Evelyn's name, enough that her gaze jerks up to me. She stares right back at me, her eyes finding mine, and her lips turning up in triumph as I get closer. I move quickly, aiming my gun right at her, but she's gone. She takes a step to the side, and she's lost in the swarm of her own soldiers, arriving with a buzzing effort to hold me back. They fire immediately, and I half forget that I should be shooting.

"This way." Rylan jerks my arm, but my eyes desperately search for the man who was with her. I see no one, only a wall of darkness as they are gunned down. They fall to the ground with little protest, and I furiously try to see where she went.

I can't.

There is nothing behind her.

No door.

No window.

Only the foundation of the building, and the dead that she used to get me here.

I can't catch my breath, not even when Rylan shoots the last one straight in the head.

"Fuck, where is she?!" His words are shrieked, just as crazed as I feel. I look past him, past the hazy smoke, past a few of her men running away, cowardly giving up. I aimlessly shoot the two I can and I turn back to face Rylan. "Eric, where is…I didn't see her."

He sounds traumatized, as the realization that this mission was a spectacular failure hits the both of us. It slaps me in the fact that I was lured here, drawn out from Dauntless in hopes that I'd be killed or maybe give in and side with them. And while that didn't happen, not only did I not kill Evelyn, I didn't find Everly.

I stand there, staring at Rylan, until Harrison grabs me firmly by the arm and drags me away.

 

 

"Drink this."

Harrison shoves the flask in my face, and I down it without looking. It burns, bitter and hot as it slides down my throat, and it threatens to come right back up.

"We'll go back. We did our best. We drove them out, and now they know…they know you aren't messing around. We'll find Evelyn. She can't hide forever."

I look over at him, and I swear I've never seen him before. His face is clean shaven but caked with blood and dirt. His eyes are blue, and he shakes his head at me as he turns the truck on.

"We'll kill her, don't you worry." He takes the flask back from me, and I realize we're leaving. All the trucks are leaving. The last few of the soldiers have arrived back at the vehicles, and one throws one dark look back at the buildings.

"Wait, no-"

I shove the door open, feeling like a caged animal sprung free, and my boots hit the dirt. I take off, heading right back to where I saw her, Evelyn, maybe Everly, and I frantically search for anything. I still don't think she'd be dumb enough to have brought Everly out here, but there's a slim chance it was her. My brain tells me this over and over, and I head right back to where I'd last stood. I triumphantly find a section of windows, and I rip the wooden planes nailed to the side of a building that reveal nothing.

Plain, cracked concrete.

I throw the wood back at the wall, staring at the decaying exterior of nothingness, and my roar of frustration sinks down into the Earth. I head between the buildings, looking for a sign that Everly had been there. I stomp over the dead foliage, kicking rocks at the wall in a fit of rage, and I slam my fist against broken concrete when there's nothing here.

No one.

Other than debris and smoky rubble, there's not a single sign that anyone has been here.

"Hey, Eric, we gotta get back. They'll attack again. Max called in that there's another riot starting not too far from here. He thinks she's gonna try to wear you down."

"Not yet. I don't have Everly back yet." I look up slowly, my gaze turning away from the cracked concrete to find Jason, looking at me with a very tense expression. He chews on his cheek, taking in my hands on the wall and my head down.

"We'll find her-" He starts, and I shake my head at him.

My whole world tilts to the side, and I half expect him to slide right out of view. It hits me then, like a blow to the face, that I've lost her. I've lost Everly, and it was my own doing.

"Eric, we gotta go. They'll kill you if they come back here. You're just standing there…"

"Shut the fuck up."

I hiss at him, slowly standing upright and ignoring the way his hands are shaking. My boots crunch over a pile of broken glass, and my eyes narrow as I walk by him.

I feel it then, the same overwhelming and crushing rage, and it consumes me whole as I realize my wife is gone.

Really gone.

And I have no clue if I'll ever get her back.

 

 

The sun shines brightly even at the late hour.

I walk beneath a cloudless blue sky, my hands balled into fists. The air is cold and cruel, slicing as it howls, and it searches for any exposed skin it can find. My jacket deflects most of it, but I don't care. I welcome the sensation, for it's the only thing I can feel.

I return to Dauntless in defeat.

I ignore the whirl of soldiers around me, each one loudly discussing what had happened. I ignore the buzz in my ear that I should get back out there, run back if I have to, because Everly was still there. I ignore the ache in the deepest part of my bones that tells me I had just missed her, that she had been right fucking there, and I'd blown it.

I ignore the yell of Jason and my name being called by Rylan. Harrison insisting I come with him, that we can counter attack in a day and catch them off guard. We could infiltrate and force Evelyn out before she knew what was happening.

I ignore all of it and I walk home.

 

 

The first night is the worst.

To be fair, since the day Colton had taken Everly, my life had been an utter shit show. It felt hollow and useless, like I had nothing to show for it. I'd been dragged to Erudite, manipulated to stay there, and only allowed to leave under the guise of finding Evelyn for Jeanine. My plan to kill Evelyn had failed spectacularly. Jack hadn't responded since I sent him my life's work with Jeanine. Jason and Rylan couldn't meet my gaze. Max had told me he was sorry, and he'd looked ready to vomit.

And Everly, well it was becoming clear with every passing second, that I'd never see her again.

I'd returned home to an empty apartment. The lights were off, and I flipped them on without thinking. My living room lit up to reveal the couch where Everly and I spent plenty of time together, the blanket she'd covered herself up with a few weeks ago, and the books she'd been reading. My stare went right to them, neatly stacked atop of my tablet, and her hair tie, right to the side of it.

I headed straight to my bedroom.

I stalked into darkness again, and again, turned on the lights only to wish I hadn't. My bed was made, Carol having taken care of things while I was gone, and my laundry was put away. But despite having been back here after being in Erudite, the presence of Everly was suddenly overwhelming.

For someone who I'd never had any intention of letting invade my space, she was everywhere.

Her shoes sat next to mine on the floor, kicked off before she'd hopped in the shower. Bottles of nail polish, purchased by her and Christina were neatly arranged on my dresser. Her hairbrush sat beside them. Her uniform jacket, skipped- in favor of my own, worn hoodie was at the very end.

I ignore all of it.

I walk to the bed, and I come to a dead halt when I see Carol has left some of the laundry out as some sort of kind afterthought. Boxers and a t-shirt for me, and a pale, pink nightgown for Everly. Seeing as how Carol worked while I was gone and rarely was here when I was home, she'd have no clue that Everly hadn't been returning home at night. I stare at the silky fabric as though it might catch fire, and my fingers move of their own accord. They skim over the nightgown until they dig into it, bunching together and crumpling it up.

She's not coming back.

I try to ignore the thought, for there was still hope. Harrison had told me he wasn't giving up, and Jason and Rylan had said they weren't, either. There was a chance she was still alive, just…somewhere I didn't know about.

I shove the fabric away, unable to hold onto it anymore, and I head into the bathroom to wash the blood off my hands.

 

 

_"Where did you buy that?"_

_Everly's nightgown is nothing I've ever seen before. She blinks up at me from my own bed, and a pretty, sweet, knowing smile stretches across her face. Her nightgown is nothing more than straps and some fabric that's bunching up over her thighs, and the sheerness of it mocks me. She looks like what I've imagined every Amity bride looks like on their wedding night, if they looked like Everly._

_Her hair falls down her back in pretty waves, undone from the braids she'd had it in earlier. Her feet are bare, her nails are pink, and she reclines back, tilting her head to watch me undress._

_"Christina said you'd like it." She smiled at my disgust at Christina's name, but in this moment, I could scrounge up some gratitude that she'd shown Everly we had something like this._

_"I do."_

_I answer easily, pulling the dark t-shirt over my head. I watch Everly's stare fall down from my face, to my chest, to the printed tattoo on my ribs. She eyes it carefully, reaching to touch it with her fingers, before smiling._

_"Did that hurt?"_

_"No." I smirk, but the smirk falters when Everly grows pale._

_Her already fair skin seems to lighten to a shade of transparency, and the darkness of her hair blurs into her skin._

_"Why didn't you come find me?" She looks up slowly, and her eyes are greener than ever. "You just…you left me with her. You told me you'd look out for me."_

_Her dejection is clear as day, and her fingers lift from my skin._

She vanishes right in front of me, disappearing as if she'd never been here.

 

 

The first drink is the hardest.

I stare at the dark liquid in the glass, and I contemplate what will happen if I start. I'd never been one to find myself wasted, vomiting in the Pit or drunkenly taking home whoever I could find. If I was going to drink, it was controlled. Precise. Clean. There was no reason to get sloppy drunk when everything was on the line.

But now, the bottle is tempting. It's large and ornate, salvaged and refilled with something I can't quite remember. I can't remember anything, really. I hadn't slept very well last night, and my bed had felt cold. Empty. There was no tiny person from Amity shoving herself against me like she had every right to. No cold feet pressing upon my calves, no skinny arm thrown over my stomach.

I'd slept like shit, missing her so much that it was painful, growing worse as the hours clicked by. I lie there, remembering the very first time she'd ever slept against me, and how much better she'd looked in the morning. Like all she'd needed was me, and after that, nothing had been the same. Nothing.

I'd blinked to try to rid my eyes of the painful burn, and I'd closed them when the sun rose.

But now, it was sometime in the middle of the day. I'd done absolutely nothing. I hadn't bothered to get dressed and I hadn't bothered to answer my phone. It had rung plenty of times; I could see the blinking messages piling up, and I could see the calls come in one after the other. I'd found myself unwilling to answer a single one, not even Rylan's persistent attempts.

I stand in my kitchen, and my fingers grasp the glass. It feels warm from the liquor, and that artificial warmth scores through my veins as I drink it down. The second is even better, hotter. The third makes my head blurry, and on the fourth, my vision follows.

The fifth drink, one sloppily over flowing onto my counter and all over my hand, lands me on the couch. I stay there, wallowing in my own self pity before the pulsing headache takes over.

 

 

I slowly start to lose it.

I dream of her daily. Nightly. In the few and rare moments where I fall asleep, her face fills my dreams, turning them from a pleasant, almost hysterical moment of utter relief, to warm, heavy horror when she disappears again. I wake up sweaty, my heart racing as though I've been running for hours on end, and my skin clammy.

On occasion, I stumble into the bathroom, and what I've drunk comes right back up.

I lose her over and over, and every single time, I'm just as powerless to stop it.

 

 

 

On a day when I make it into his office, Max hands me the envelope.

I take it from him hesitantly, and my insides are wound so tightly that it's hard to stand upright. I'd only come in here because my presence was required. I'd been asked to check in on things and see how they were going. But there had been no news, no word of where Everly was, and no further attacks.

"Eric," Max greets me cautiously, and his skin looks ashy. I squint at him, wishing I'd never walked down here. The lights hurt my eyes, and everything feels blurred at the edges. Like maybe this isn't real, and I'll wake up from this nightmare if I try hard enough.

"It uh, came for you today. I thought…maybe I should open it."

He stumbles over his words, losing all his eloquence as he takes in my appearance. I don't say anything back to him; I rip the bulky mess of an envelope open, ignoring the pieces that fall to his office floor.

I swallow heavily, tilting the paper so my wife's wedding ring can slide out of it. It lands in my palm, heavy and cold and purposeful.

"Eric…"

He says my name in a painful manner, and I know he's affected by this as well. He'd looked out for Everly with a very vested interest, and I'm starting to think it might not have been simply because she'd help further his numbers.

"Eric…it's a trap. She's not…she can't be…"

He doesn't finish his sentence, and I don't stay.

I go home, the ring pressed into my palm, and eventually, I run out of things to drink in my apartment.

 

 

Days later, I find myself wandering aimlessly.

My office holds almost no appeal to me. I haven't checked my phone since I've been back, and the only place that feels remotely acceptable to going, is far down into Dauntless. I take the stairs two and three at a time, half hoping I'll miss a step and break my neck, and I arrive at the infirmary just as a slew of initiates do. I stare at them blankly, though they do their best to avoid looking right at me.

I knew that they were afraid of me, but now that I'd delved into full blown psychosis at the loss of my wife, they really were. A few dare to look a second too long, and my fists clench up. I could easily wipe the floor with the first one's face, irrationally jealous at the time he had spent with Everly.

He smartly looks away.

My eyes rake over them, their skin flushed and their eyes bright. They are alive, breathing pure energy as they wait to be examined by the infirmary staff. My mind dully reminds me that I'd brought Everly here when she was an initiate. That I'd sat in a too small chair, watching Arlene poke and prod her. I'm reminded of that now, as Arlene's fingers wrap around my arm with a steel like grip, and she forcibly drags me along to her office.

"You look like shit," She announces, shoving me into another chair – this one larger, and slamming the door shut. "I heard your mission was a failure but that doesn't mean it's the end of the world. The fuck is going on with you?"

I look up to her critical stare, and her eyes are glued to me in disappointment. I half wonder if she doesn't know what's gone on, or if she really and truly can find it in herself to be irritated by what's happened.

"What's going on with me?" I snap, and I stare at her, imagining her being shoved across her desk. "The factionless still have Everly. They sent back her wedding ring."

"What?" Arlene barks and her mouth falls open. "What do you mean they have Everly? I thought you went and got her. Max said-"

"No." I interrupt sharply, beyond pissed at her ignorance. "We went to get her back. She wasn't there. I didn't find her, nor could I get close to Evelyn. A few days ago, they sent me her ring. Today, I got the clothes she had on when they took her."

For once, Arlene doesn't say anything.

The silence is thick between us, and I can see her mind whirling.

"You didn't find her? I thought…they said everyone returned. I only heard what Max was listening in on." Her defense is weak and somewhat polite, but her expression is of utter shock. "You really…she's not back? I thought maybe she wasn't feeling well and that's why no one had seen her."

I stare at her, and she stares right back at me.

"And you think she's dead?"

I shrug and I keep staring at her. She's familiar, but unfamiliar with this look of sympathy now crossing her face. I find it irritating that she would pity me, and it does little to alleviate this heavy feeling I've been walking around with.

"I'm still going to look for her. I still think…" It's hard to finish my sentence, because at this point, it felt almost impossible to hold onto the belief that Everly was still alive. "I'm going to save her. I'll bring her back, no matter what it takes."

"Okay," Arlene steps closer, and this time, her gaze turns clinical. It's easier for the both of us with this look on her face, and she knows it. "Are you sleeping? You look like you haven't slept in a week. You can't go find her if you haven't slept."

"No," I answer flatly, and I drag my gaze back to hers. "I'm gonna go back to work. I have to plan something. I can't just sit here. I can't just…do nothing. She's going to know that I didn't come look for her."

"What have you been doing exactly?" Arlene asks, and I find myself growing hotly defensive.

"Nothing." I retort. "Nothing. I've been wallowing in my own self pity that I let her down. I let Everly get taken and I haven't been able to figure out where she is. So a whole lot of nothing is what I've got going on."

"Everly Coulter," Arlene emphasizes her last name. "will be just fine and you know it. You trained her to survive. If she can pass your training and being married to you..." Arlene is right in front of me, and the urge to shove her out of my way is overwhelming. "Then she'll be alright. Don't give up. But you know what, I'll give you something to help you sleep. Just…even one night. You'll feel better."

"I don't want it."

I press my palms to my eyes until it hurts. The nights were the worst. That was when I usually dreamt of her, and it made me wish I'd never woken up because when I did, Everly still wasn't there.

"I'm fine. I can manage on my own." I rise up from the chair, regretting coming down here. "I didn't know you didn't know what had happened."

"Well," Arlene looks odd, the discomfort creeping in the longer she stands there. "I wasn't aware. I…I like Everly and I'm sorry this is happening. But I don't think this is over. Not by a long shot."

I wait for her to say something else. To point out that she'd been right along. That I'd drug my feet on everything related to Everly for stupid reasons. That I should have let myself love her long before I did. That I should have told her how I felt instead of making her pry it out of me like some dark secret. That I should have given in, and perhaps Everly would have been waiting for me upstairs, just like always.

That I should have done everything differently.

I leave wordlessly, but not before Arlene forces her arms around me. The action is awkward and uncomfortable, but I stand there, having no clue what else to do.

 

 

Nothing gets better.

It mostly gets worse.

I find Four, looking at me like the weight of what he's done might just be his undoing. His stare slinks over the initiates, slippery and quick, like he's hoping I'll confront him again because he knows he deserves it. He'd done his best to help how he could; in a slim hope of rectifying his sins, he'd found Rylan and spilled every ounce of information he had all over again. He'd offered up the locations he knew, tiny things about Evelyn that he thought would be helpful, and what he thought she'd do next. The words had been fast and helpless, and he did his best to wash his hands of his involvement. Rylan had been appreciative, but it wasn't enough.

Four knew it.

The look he carried would have been painful, except that I couldn't bring myself to find a single speck of sympathy for him.

Or anyone involved.

Karl had been brought before me once more. He'd been marched in with Max, but in a weird, vague attempt to rectify the situation. Karl looked ready to snap, every ounce of confidence sucked out of him, and his hair was a mess. In some ways, we mirrored each other. I'd barely gotten dressed, barely eaten, and could barely see straight. But it felt better this way, like I didn't quite deserve anything else.

Karl had apologized, and his voice cracked when he said Everly's name.

It stung, just like any time anyone mumbled it, and I had a hard time focusing on him. I eventually dismissed him, because it was a little too much like watching myself slowly deteriorate.

 

 

On a day that feels darker and gloomier than the rest, I walk past Christina in the hallway. I'd done my best to avoid everyone. I did what work I could in my office and went home immediately after. Seeing her doesn't quite feel real. My gaze doesn't register who it is until she's right next to me, and her stare is highly sympathetic. I hear the echo of her boots pass me when she calls my name, and I turn around slowly, wondering why she's there.

"Eric, are you okay?"

I stop in my tracks, and her words bounce off the wall behind me.

I can feel her stare on my own face, unshaved and pale, and in that moment, it feels overly critical. It's my own thinking: that I should be out finding my wife, when in reality, I can barely make it through the day.

Still, her gaze feels rather accusatory, and I don't appreciate it one bit.

And no, I was not okay.

"Fuck off, Christina."

I say her name nastily, well aware of the drop in her expression. I'd neglected to think that Everly's disappearance might affect others. She'd been so pivotal in my own life, someone who I'd found to be the center of my own universe, that I hadn't considered that the two girls she was friends with might have been feeling something.

Misery.

Horror.

Fear.

That's what Christina must be feeling right now. Because she takes a step away from me, just as I take a step toward her.

I act like someone else is in control of me. Without thinking, I reach for her, grabbing her arm tightly and yanking her forward a step with little effort. Her eyes widen, and she has the same look on her face as the time I held her over the chasm.

My breathing increases with the desire to bash her head against the wall.

I'm not surprised that I want to hurt her. I just want someone else to feel what I'm feeling, something so deep and unbalanced that I've started to think I can't possibly continue on if it doesn't let up. I want to hurt Christina the same way I hurt, and if I'm not careful, I will.

She must know; she does her best to wiggle away from me, and her voice shakes.

"Eric, I'm sorry. She's my friend too, you know. I...I… told Rylan I'd help you guys. I want her back just as much."

Her words burn.

I immediately let go of her.

Her eyes are wide and wet, and I know then that she's been holding in the same feelings I have. She looks at me pleadingly, and I step away from her, unable to look at her any longer. I leave her standing there, rubbing her arm where I grabbed her, and I storm off.

Her sorrow is almost as clear as mine, but there is nothing I can do about any of this.

 

 

Harrison bakes me a pie.

I stare at him like he's insane, and he shrugs through his odd, heavily fur lined coat.

"You need to eat. When I find your wife, I need you ready to go. Not dead from alcohol poisoning or taking a nap beneath your desk because you're too tired and weak to do anything."

"Thank you." I ignore his mild insult while I stare at the plate he's placed on my desk. "What is it?"

"Just eat it. It's good for you." Harrison snaps, and he huffs as he walks away. I poke the plate with one finger, pushing it as far away as I can.

I decide I definitely won't eat it.

 

 

 

Rylan does not appreciate my grabbing Christina.

For the first time in forever, he arrives at my office looking pissed off. Had I been looking closely, I'd see the stress eating away at him. His eyes were tired, and his mouth was set in a grim line. He'd been working just as hard as I had to find Everly, and the lack of results was just as wearing on him as it was on me. Had I been in my right state of mind, I'd have noticed the unease about him. The exhaustion that had been building in him.

But I don't.

I don't see anything but his dark scowl when he tells me to be nice.

I blink at him like he's suggested I walk around Dauntless hugging everyone, and he shakes his head.

"You could hurt her. You know that. She misses Everly just as much as you. Everyone does. We're all trying, Eric. But don't…don't go after Christina because she asked how you were doing. She just wanted to make sure you were alright."

I look up from my computer screen, and his gaze is just as accusatory as Christina's.

"I mean, I'm sorry about Everly, you know that. But don't be a dick just because-"

His words are unnecessary.

I stand up, and I walk around my desk quickly with the intent to make him leave. He immediately backs up a step because he can tell that I'm in no mood to deal with this. Friend or no friend, I could easily beat the shit out of him without much effort.

"Eric, okay, maybe calling you a dick was too much. I just…we're all on your side and you look so miserable and I can't fix this anymore than you can."

He doesn't get another word in.

I attack him just like I did Four, and his protest is loud as his head hits the shelf behind him. The awards that line my office wall fall to the floor, and they land loudly in a messy heap.

"Fuck, stop!"

He yells at me, fighting back the best he can. For a few moments there is nothing but a blur of his head hitting my wall, his fist hitting my jaw, and Harrison storming in to rip us apart. He holds us at arm's length, both breathing heavily, and he glares at us as Linda peeks her head in through the door to see if everything's alright.

It's not.

"Knock it off, both of you." Harrison threatens, and his voice is louder than I've heard before.

"Get the fuck out of my office," I hiss at both of them, and I lunge for Rylan again. Before I can get too close, Harrison knocks me back, and Rylan shoots me a dirty look as he rubs at his head. "Now."

"Shut up. You," he points at Rylan, "don't be a dick, yourself. Until you know what he's going through, keep your thoughts to yourself. Your girlfriend should have known better than to ask him stupid questions." He then pauses and looks at me. "And you- get it together. You don't have the right to attack everyone who looks at you. You've survived worse, and you'll survive this."

With that, he shoves us in opposite directions, and Rylan smooths his shirt down.

"Fine, sorry." He mutters. "I'll tell Christina to stay out of your way."

"Fine." I snarl.

Harrison grabs Rylan by the arm and drags him toward the door. "Eric, take a day off. Go home before this gets worse."

Linda watches with wide eyes, reaching for Rylan as though he's an injured child. He throws me one dark, miserable look, and I throw him one right back.

He and Harrison leave, shutting my office door with slightly more force than necessary. The remaining awards shake slightly, and one more falls off.

I contemplate throwing all of them right in the trash.

Or at the next person who comes in.

 

 

Eventually, everyone tires of my shit.

I take some of Harrison's advice and I throw myself back into work, having no clue what day it is or what I should be doing. But I try; I scan over the paperwork that's sent to me, I scour every route and patrol, every note and mark detailing what they've seen. I listen to Harrison talk about war strategy and our next move. I listen to Max, put in order after order to keep looking, and I join in whenever I can.

Once I've done all I can to review everything I can, I feel somewhat sane. But I lose it when I watch the security feed again.

I'm given the tapes spanning the week she was taken, handed to me by Kacie. I watch them in the control room, and what little semblance of my sanity I have left slips away with each passing one.

I see her.

I see Everly, smiling as she walks to work. I see Everly and myself, walking through Dauntless together, as close as possible. I see the way she looks up at me, sometimes like she's checking just to make sure I'm still there, and her fingers touch mine. I see her purposely grab my hand, her fingers sliding through my own, and I stop watching when I catch sight of myself kissing her outside the doors of the training room.

I find myself clicking out of the screen, ignoring the dull hum of the computers and the odd hiss of Kacie beside me.

She's called Rylan to come fetch me, and I have no choice but to follow after him.

He looks at me with one dejected expression, and I force myself to nod at him.

He and I eat lunch together, and for the thousandth time, I feel the stinging burn in my eyes that only goes away when I close them.

 

 

The screaming is ear-piercing.

The shrieks come from the members of Dauntless, lifting their glasses up high, toasting Everly's last days here. It seems to bounce off the walls, echoing endlessly, and growing louder as more and more of them pour in. They raise their glasses above their heads, spilling their drinks everywhere, and they chant her name for what seems like hours.

I watch them with little enthusiasm; they have been brought in and taken off their routes, given a reprieve from their endless hunt, all to celebrate the death of my wife.

I press on my temples, trying hard to ward off the headache that is starting.

I'd been able to make my way down here after Max pointed out that it was the least I could do to show the faction things would be alright, but I'd gone no further than to an alcove to the side, and I'd stayed there. I had absolutely no desire to join them, and no desire to talk to anyone. Those I'd passed had looked at me with stunned horror upon realizing I was here. I was a stark reminder of who Everly had been; even if they didn't know her, they knew who she was.

And now, they were honoring her time here.

It felt gross and completely crass.

I'd told Max absolutely not, but as the days had passed, the members had grown restless. Eventually, they'd demanded answers, and when Everly didn't return -but her things did- it was obvious we'd lost.

I had a hard time accepting it. I felt numb, like the news wasn't quite real, nor were the throngs of people chanting her name. Those who didn't know her are simply happy for the day of partying, relieved of their heavy workload. That had been at my own hand. I'd gone with a few of the patrols over the past few days, forcing them to look longer, harder, faster. I'd come back worn down, my eyes dull and my lips pressed together as we found nothing.

No faction had seen her.

The announcement had gone out yesterday, as a final plea that maybe someone had seen something. The responses came in slowly and were of no help. Jack's assistant had seen factionless running through, and one possibly had dark hair. Abnegation had seen nothing. Erudite sent back a snarky, pointed response asking if we were still working on this. Amity had eventually responded, with a polite no.

I didn't realize until later that night, that the name on the announcement was Evelyn not Everly, and they were looking for the wrong person

"Hey, uh, you want to get out of here?"

I look up to find Rylan, and he looks perturbed at the sight before him. His uniform jacket is askew, and his hair is a mess, like he's run his hands through it before walking over.

"I can't… I just can't bring myself to toast anything to her, you know. She was one of us. I never thought we'd be…here."

"Me either." I answer and his smile is forced.

"We can get a drink somewhere else. Somewhere quiet. Jason will meet us. He thinks it's obnoxious they did this today."

I nod. "Yeah. I told Max not to, but he felt it was appropriate given his position." I sigh, and I look back at him. "You never found anything? Anything?"

"No," Rylan shakes his head and frowns. "It's like her entire existence was erased. I keep thinking we'll find her. She'll just pop up out of nowhere and everything will be okay. I still think we might."

He sounds hopefully optimistic, and I step away from the wall.

"Let's get out of here."

The crowd roars again as a picture of Everly is flashed on the wall, and I stare at it until it vanishes.

It feels just as spectacularly shitty as one would imagine.

 

 

 

The lanterns in Clyde's grow fuzzy the longer I sit there.

I'd gotten dressed today because Max insisted I show up. He said that despite Everly's death, I was still to lead my faction. His words had sounded harsh while he spoke them, but the look on his face told me he knew my mental well being was unstable. I couldn't remember the last time I ate something that wasn't accompanied by an alcoholic beverage, and I couldn't remember the last time I slept longer than a few minutes at a time. I was running on nerves, on the coffee that someone had made purposely stronger than ever, and by the slim hope that I'd find Everly when I didn't expect to.

"I'll have another."

I dully tell Jason and Rylan this, slamming my drink down and watching it tip over from the unexpected force. We'd come here after leaving the Pit, the war cries of Everly's name eventually becoming too much to listen to, but it wasn't helping. It felt like she was all around me. Like her ghost was lingering in the air, hovering above the booth we normally sat in. I could see her looking up at me on my birthday, hinting that she loved me. I could see her sitting here on her birthday, looking up at me as I tried to make up for her father's death.

I could see her cheeks pink, as she squirmed against me while Rylan and Jason argued over the happy hour specials.

"Are you sure?" Jason eyes me warily, and his own skin is pale. They both looked exhausted, burnt out from working endless hours. "You uh, might want to eat something first."

"I'm fine." I retort, but my words are slow.

We'd been sitting here for an hour.

Maybe two.

Lucy had crept over without her usual look of annoyance on her face. It was replaced with one of horror and sympathy, and I didn't want it. She'd stared at me, her gaze sticking to my dark shirt and half way combed hair, and she'd frowned.

I'd always noticed her disdain for us anytime we came in here, but she seemed to like Everly. She was suspicious of me, but she was always happy to see Everly alive and well, like she was waiting for her to show up half dead.

I idly wonder if I should point out that her fear had come true.

"Let's order some more chips." Jason waves at someone over my shoulder, and I stare at him. Rylan nods his head enthusiastically, and he throws a smile my way. As if some chips and salsa would help ease the depression I'd slid into or make Everly return.

"You like chips," Rylan reminds me, and he nudges my arm.

I stare at him dully.

Rylan and I were fine. I'd mumbled a very low apology for attacking him, and he mumbled a very low apology for calling me a dick. We'd looked at each other, and I flashed back to the first time I met him. I'd sat by him in school, both of us in royal blue uniforms, and I'd found him annoying. He laughed at everything the teacher said, he'd barely been able to stay in his seat for longer than a minute, and he loudly yelled 'what the fuck' the first time he got in trouble in kindergarten.

His parents had almost disowned him. It became clear he had no interest in school, but he and I were paired up as reading partners, and he told me he was leaving as soon as he could. That he hated this place, and he had to get out.

He was five.

I told him I was leaving, too.

After that, we were inseparable.

I helped him do his school work, and he introduced me to the few other students I could tolerate being around. He became one of the few people who I could trust, and teachers quickly realized it was easier on everyone if Rylan was seated next to me. We spent years as the best of friends, dodging each other's parents and doing our best to piss them off. We'd only argued a few times, and it usually ended quickly.

To my utter irritation, I made the mistake of inviting him over. Not so he could enjoy one of Pamela's home cooked meals that Blythe tried to pass off as her own, but so we could hang out and I could pretend my life wasn't so shitty. Unfortunately for me, Daniel liked Rylan and took an interest in him whenever he was over. I'd never realized he was trying to find a way to squeeze himself into my life, and instead, I'd taken it out on Rylan.

He hadn't cared.

He liked Daniel, and the two of them bonded over dumb shit no matter how many times I scowled or swore at them.

When I decided I had no time for witchcraft and wizardry, I took an interest in Ashley, and Rylan fell to the wayside. He didn't like her, she didn't like him, and it was a divide that he lost out to.

When he showed up in Dauntless, I'd looked at him in surprise. I could remember him saying he would leave Erudite, and he had. I hadn't seen him at the choosing ceremony, nor had I looked for him. But there he was, with his messed-up hair, his big grin, and he'd walked right over to me. He cheerfully asked if I wanted to partner up, like nothing had happened, and I'd agreed.

Our bond was solidified once we met Jason. The three of us were immediately inseparable, and our mutual hatred for the resident Abnegation runaway bonded us for life.

Which was why I understood now, why he was staring at me like he was prepared for me to fucking bolt out of here. Like he knew I was close to snapping, that my life had been worn down to nothing. There was a high chance that I'd be executed once Jeanine got wind that I'd sent her life's work to another faction's leader so he could start to prosecute her, and there was a high chance it wouldn't matter to me.

I had nothing here.

I'd never noticed it before, but it was clear now.

"What?" I blink at him. "I don't want any fucking chips."

Rylan and Jason ignore me.

Lucy ignores me, too.

She does her best to set my drink down. She places it a careful distance away from me, closer to Jason than me, and I bet she's hoping he'll snatch it away. I reach over the table and grab it, and I drink it down quickly, before Lucy can take a step away.

"I said 'another round'," I bark at her, and when I look up, she looks apprehensive. Her hands are frozen, clutching the tray to her chest, and she shakes her head slightly. I realize she's looking at Jason and Rylan over me, and I immediately grow irritated. "Now."

She nods, taking off immediately.

"I, uh, maybe we should slow down." Rylan suggests, and it's a struggle to not snap at him. The longer I sat here, the worst of me emerged. I'd been doing nothing but drowning myself with bitter, heavy drinks to numb what I felt, and it was no longer working. The shitty feelings rose up no matter how much I drank, oozing out of my skin when I just wanted it all to fucking stop. It was bad enough that I'd lost Everly, but at the very least my mind could stop reminding me of it every single moment of every single day.

"No." I shake my head, and I motion at the empty glasses in front of me. "You want to celebrate. Then we'll celebrate. Here's to you, Everly Coulter."

I shove one of the empty glasses into the air, and I say her name nastily. I can feel it stick in my throat, and when Jason reaches for my arm to stop me, I drop the glass.

It shatters everywhere, exploding the minute it hits the ground.

"Eric, hey…let's uh, let's pay our tab and go. We can go home." Rylan bends over to pick up the largest pieces of glass, and he throws one worried look at Jason. "Tell Lucy-"

"No." I repeat again, just as Lucy appears with my order. She looks confused at the mess in front of her, and her boots crunch over the broken glass as she sets down another round of drinks. "Let's drink up." I grab the first drink I see, shoving it up high. The liquid sloshes everywhere, and Lucy takes a step back huffily. "Here's to my wife. Sorry that I couldn't keep you safe. Sorry that I got you killed."

"Dude, no." Rylan says firmly, and he presses his lips together tightly. "You've had enough."

He tries to grab the drink from me, and most of it spills onto the floor.

"Look, we'll do something." Jason tells me, and he stands up abruptly. "I'm going to pay. But we'll celebrate our own way. Not like this. And not while you're shit faced. When you're coherent. Everly deserves more than this."

He's right.

I stare at him, his features blurring together in front of my eyes, and I agree.

Everly deserved far better than this.

 

 

We drive to Amity.

I can't be quite certain when. What day it is. What time it is. Why I'd agreed to go along with them.

I'd taken a shower for a long time. Until I felt like the alcohol was no longer seeping from my skin and my hair was clean. I'd eaten something, some meal that Quinten had dropped off with a concerned scowl and a lingering look of unnecessary concern. I laced my boots up tightly, pulled my jacket on and left as the sun set.

Rylan had ordered fireworks.

He and Jason had gone back and forth over what to do. Over how the three of us could celebrate Everly's life in a way that meant something. Something real. They'd both looked to me, asking me what she would remember about them, and I'd felt queasy thinking about it. They hadn't known her long, but they'd accepted her from day one. They'd given her the support she needed, far before I even thought about her in any way other than as my initiate.

She'd known them as my friends, as two people in Dauntless who were always up for a good time, and rarely were down.

But it was more than that.

She'd known them as two people who she could trust and who had her back.

And I'd told them she liked their fireworks.

They'd both looked at me first in confusion, then smiled.

I could still remember her watching them, mesmerized by something so trivial, just because it was pretty. They were behind it, that very moment where I'd stared at her, realizing I wanted to tell her I loved her. They'd pushed me to admit what I felt for her, and without them, I may not have ever acknowledged it.

I exhaustedly told them her favorite color was pink. Their faces had lit up, and Rylan went to find the guy who made them. He returned not long after, and we had plans to leave before the sun set.

It didn't feel right or fitting, but there was nothing that would. Once I'd sobered up, my entire body ached with what I'd done. My hands hurt, my bones hurt, and my chest felt like it had been ripped open and left that way. The painful realization that I had loved Everly beyond all measure was just as raw, but there was a comfort in it. That she had known what I felt for her. Our time together, the moments when she was everything I could have wanted or needed, it had all been worth knowing her.

I knew I may never have her again.

I would certainly never feel for anyone the way I had felt for her.

But I could honor that.

For her.

"Here."

My voice is hoarse as we find a clear area as close to Amity as we can get without being noticed. It's sparse enough that the fireworks will hit nothing when they eventually return to earth.

"I think this is far enough." I set the pile down, and next to me, Rylan smiles his approval. He surveys the area, nods in agreement, and motions for Jason to join us. His arms are full of the explosives, sloppily labeled with the word 'pink' on them.

Fifteen minutes later, we light them off.

I suppose honoring her this way is the closest to any sort of closure I'll get. Standing in the dark woods, lighting something that could blow up in my face, only to explode in the sky in brilliant bursts of pink seems appropriate. We are silent as we set them off, and I can feel each one echo through my entire skeletal system as the loud bangs grow noisier and noisier as the fireworks increase in size.

We watch them in silence, quiet as they burst so loudly I expect half of Amity to appear.

"Three more." Rylan informs us, and we watch as the one he'd lit a few moments ago explodes into a glittery smatter of pink and white streaks.

It hurts my eyes, but I force myself to watch.

The forest falls silent, until Jason steps forward.

"To Everly Coulter. We didn't know you for long, but we'll never forget you." Jason announces as he lights the last one he has. He takes a step back, saluting as it shoots into the air, and explodes in a burst of crackles. "There was no one shorter than you in Dauntless, and there never will be again."

After a moment, the pink sparks fizzle out, popping loudly, and my eyes burn.

"To Everly. Your last name was Coulter from the start. I hope you know how hard we looked for you. And we…" Rylan stops, and his voice grows tight. "We won't ever forget who you were. Here's to you, Everly Coulter."

This one explodes, pink and white, and I squeeze my eyes shut. They are wet, burning and hot.

I light the last one, and I stare as it sails right into the darkness, lighting up the night sky as it explodes. The color hangs in the air for a long time, keeping the forest lit up, until eventually, it turns smoky and slowly disappears. I stare at the sky, feeling a cold breeze brush over my neck, sliding over the blocks on my throat.

"I'm sorry."

I can't say anything else.

I stand there until the sky is completely dark and the wind howls.

 

 

I grit my teeth.

Everyone in Dauntless returns to their business at a snail's pace.

After Everly's official celebration, things quiet down in the worst way. Slowly. There is a roar of unease that comes out of nowhere, and people still demand action. A few question what we are doing. Some ask if we're still looking for Everly, despite announcing her death. I go through the motions of each day, typing her name every time I log into my computer, with complete and total disassociation. I do my best to pretend that she isn't really gone. That I hadn't lost it in the woods, only when I was sure my friends were far enough ahead they wouldn't notice. I refuse to change my password, I refuse to take off my wedding ring, and I refuse to answer them.

I work.

Endlessly.

In turn, I slip back into an Eric who is familiar and comfortable.

I am angry.

Furious.

Malicious.

I watch happy members walk past me, hands on their significant other, and I stare them down until they flinch. I separate husband and wives on patrol routes. I refuse to see Christina. I snarl at Tris until she steps away from me, her eyes closing as I tell her not to ask me anything ever again.

I return to my work with a vengeance. I tell Jeanine to fuck off, and I call Jack desperately, ignoring the gnawing concern when he doesn't answer. I tell Daniel never to call me again when he asks how I'm doing, and I physically shove Arlene out of my way when she catches up to me in the hallway.

I feel the anger coursing through me, and while no better than the depressed melancholy, it is bearable. I channel it how I can, but even my friends are careful. Jason does his best to make sure I don't murder anyone, and Rylan makes sure I eat. Our lunches are tense, drawn out and uneasy. I throw my laptop at the wall when Everly's picture somehow disappears from it, and I slam my apartment door hard enough that it nearly breaks when her brand new point card is sent to me.

I don't drink anything.

I carefully hang up her clothes that come back in my laundry. I line up her shoes. I toy with the nail polish and her hair ties, and I wipe off her nightstand. I refuse to admit she's dead, even when I eventually tuck her wedding ring away into my drawer.

I make sure Four pays for what he did.

I find him in the control room, and his posture caves when I take away every single inch of freedom he has. I remind him I'm fully prepared to have him held accountable for helping the factionless, and it's at my own mercy do I ease up when he accepts it all. He tells me he'll do whatever he can to take them down, including Evelyn. His confession, spoken once more -in front of Max and Harrison, is like spikes to my insides.

I leave him training the class, and I take him out of the control room.

Things slowly fade back to the way they were before Everly.

They are rotten and angry, waves of complete and utter destruction at my own hands.

I don't bother to try and hide it.

 

 

Jack shows up at lunch.

He's led to my office by Linda, and she ushers him in without saying much. She's quickly learned that the less we interact, the better it is for all of us.

"You have a visitor." She quickly informs me when I glance up from my keyboard, and I look at her with a scowl.

"No shit." I respond, just as Jack takes the seat across from my desk. He smiles tightly, adjusting his jacket as he makes himself comfortable. "Thank you for letting me know."

She must be gracious at my thanks, because she leaves immediately, and Jack watches her.

"It seems like everyone here is in a pretty rotten mood these days." He stares at me, and I wonder what on Earth he wants. He hadn't returned any of my messages, and his assistant would only drone on and on about how busy he was. I didn't appreciate being pushed aside, but it was more than likely my own fault. "How are you doing, Eric?"

"I'm fantastic." I answer sarcastically, and I raise an eyebrow at him. "Why haven't you returned any of my phone calls? You've been harassing me for months, and suddenly you can't be bothered to-"

"I was writing the proposal." He cuts me off, and he sits up straighter. "I got a bit…lost in it. There was so much information. So many items to go through. You sent me more than enough to prosecute Jeanine. Even a single page would have sufficed."

So that's what he'd been doing.

I look directly at him and I notice he looks very pleased with himself. "You have it ready?"

"Well," he begins, "I want you to read it first. Then, obviously, I'll have to file it with the other Leaders as an order to have her put on trial. But what you've given me is pretty indicative of her plans. They very clearly spell out just what she was doing. From the illegal and inhumane testing of those she deemed Divergent, to her criteria for Divergence, which changes drastically depending on the day. The serums meant to control the citizens of each faction with no other purpose. Requesting you bring her whomever she pleased. The improper use of factional resources. Mismanaged funds. It's all there. I can't think of a single Leader who wouldn't be on board to prosecute her to the fullest for committing such crimes against the factions."

My mouth goes dry.

"My name is on all of that." I point out. "On every page."

"Right." Jack agrees. "I went around that for a while. The best defense I have is, once you admit you had nothing to do with her after a certain time, she used you. That she was sending you the information. There's nothing to indicate you were a driving force behind it. You could be found guilty by association, but if we word this well enough, and you testify that you're no longer involved in these projects, I think we can overlook it. Your ego might take a hit, but it's better than being incriminated with her."

He stops, and I know what's coming.

"It'll look even better when you bring her in."

"I see." I sit back in my chair, and nod. "You want me to bring her to Candor?"

"Yes. You and I will sign off on the papers I've drafted. They'll go to all the other Leaders but her. You bring her to Candor, we place her on trial, and she'll be punished according to the ruling."

"Punished by?"

"Execution. There is no way she'd be able to walk freely after the things she's worked on. Once this gets out, she'll be unable to return to any of the factions. They will unanimously vote in your favor."

"Abnegation and Amity won't vote to have her executed." I answer slowly. "They abhor violence. They'll ask that she be made factionless or…or…"

"They won't. At the risk to their own factions, they'll be voting in an appropriate manner regardless of how violent or nonviolent the sentencing is. We'll remind them they're only furthering her future attempts on their own people if they don't. They either side with us, or Jeanine. And after they read these reports, they'll side with us." Jack Kang smiles at me again, and his posture is relaxed.

I take a second to skim his report, flipping through the pages quickly until I find what he's proposing. This doesn't bring back Everly, not by a long shot, but it does make things feel marginally better.

"Okay." I agree, and the weight that's been resting on my shoulders lifts a fraction of an inch. "Okay. I'll bring her to Candor."

Jack crosses one leg over the other and smiles triumphantly.

"You just let me know when."

 

 

I tell Rylan while I get dressed.

He sits on the bed in the same spot Everly used to, watching me zip up my jacket. I would be unnerved by the sight of him sitting there, eating toast where I slept, but he'd shown up drunker than ever and mumbled that Christina wasn't speaking to him.

I was tired when I answered the door, so I didn't really remember much after that. I let him in, he stumbled by me, and collapsed into a sulky, booze induced nap that wound up with him sleeping on the couch.

At least, I'm assuming he did.

I'd woken up to find him in my kitchen, gagging as he buttered toast and asking if I wanted some. He'd then followed me into my bedroom, sat down like he owned the place, and shoved the toast in his mouth while I told him what I'd done.

"Fuck yeah," he mumbles, swallowing down an extra burnt piece. "I'm in. Is the thing coming to me?"

"Yeah, it's on your desk. You'll be expected to be in Candor with me. Today." I examine my reflection in the mirror, squinting at my hair. I'd had it cut after Jack left, making sure it was as short as the dingy girl was able to cut it. "Jason, too. There's a chance she'll try to drag me down with her, so just be prepared.

I turn to look at him, and something nags at the back of my mind. "Didn't you get the letter? Jack sent them out yesterday, as soon as I signed it. I've been waiting for you to say something."

"Really?" Rylan looks up, and his hair has butter in it. "I must have missed it. But I'll be there. Hey, if, and this is a big if, but if you go down with her, can I have your hair gel? Your hair always looks better than mine."

I stare at him through the mirror, and for the first time in what feels like a year, he smiles.

"Just kidding. It looked like shit last week. But really, can I have your office? Mine's way smaller."

I roll my eyes, but he's a welcome distraction. I'd spent the past day on edge, momentarily forgetting why I hated everyone in this faction, as I waited for Jeanine to show up. Or call. Screaming, that I'd ratted her out like some low level snitch. Coming to kill me in the middle of the night.

"Okay, then can I be in charge of keeping tabs on Four? I'm getting really good at following him. I'd say he's caught on, but he's an idiot so I think we're still good."

I let out a bark of laughter at his latest assignment.

It hurts, something deep and painful in my chest, but it feels good. As good as it can.

"Knock yourself out."

I leave Rylan sitting on my bed, eating his breakfast, still contemplating the things of mine he'd like to keep in the off chance that I die. I think of it the entire drive to Erudite, and I only stop when I walk into Jeanine's office.

 

 

 

"Just what is so pressing in Candor that couldn't come to me?"

Jeanine speaks slowly, pushing her hair behind her ears and sighing heavily. I'd arrived in Erudite right before lunch, and I'd shown up in her office unannounced. Since returning to Dauntless, I'd told her off and refused to return her messages. I hadn't found Evelyn, nor had I found any sort of normalcy in my life, but I had found the desire to right things where I could. Starting in Erudite. Jack had left me a copy of what he was sending out- the list of questionable offenses and crimes he was accusing Jeanine of, and I'd sat for an hour, reading through it, line by line.

The list of offenses was serious. There was no way she'd be found innocent, and neither would I. I was holding onto the slim hope that by bringing her in personally, I was proving I wasn't involved anymore. That I hadn't been for a while.

There was still a large chance this could go wrong.

I'd told her Jack and I wanted to meet with her, and she'd agreed. Suspiciously, but pleased enough that I was working on something. She wrongly assumed she still held my entire world over her head. That without her, I was nothing, and my entire success was her doing.

She was wrong.

I knew it, but Jack had reassured me of this.

Not that I needed him to, but he'd pointed out that I'd worked in Dauntless for years, and my time there wasn't for naught. I'd earned my position as a Leader no matter how it had come about. I would have been offered it with or without her assistance and no one would take that away from me.

Especially not after I exposed her.

"Eric?"

Jeanine asks again, and her tone is irritable. She looks at me out of the corner of her eye, not at all pleased that I'd driven us there. She preferred her sleek and shiny cars, and I'd all but forced her into the Dauntless truck and slammed the door shut so she couldn't get out.

The entire drive I was quiet, thinking of all the things I could possibly be asked, including how was I turning my own relative in.

It had to be done.

"He didn't quite say. But it's good for you to make an appearance here, especially given how things are right now." I look over at her, and she nods her head after a moment.

"Fine."

She's silent as I park, and she awkwardly climbs out of the truck once I open the door. For a second, she stares at me, her gaze heavy and harsh, and I wonder if she knows I've set her up.

"Still nothing on your little wife? Did you ever find her? Because if you didn't, my offer still stands." She doesn't quite smile at me, but it's there. Her amusement, hidden behind her icy expression. I ignore her, and I shove her forward toward the heavy doors of Jack's office.

"No thanks. I'll find her. I don't need your help."

She jerks her arm away from me, stumbling over the step and glaring at me. "You better watch yourself, Eric. Don't forget what I said about your mother and father." She hisses the reminder at me, and I smile.

"Oh, I won't."

I watch her walk ahead, her blonde hair sharp and straight, and she pauses at the elevators. She punches the call button, turning to look at me when I walk up beside her.

"After this is over, I need to talk to you about your next project. I have some things you can get started on. I've overlooked your insolence for long enough."

I smile again, quietly taking my place beside her, and I push the button for Jack's floor.

We walk into his office together, through the heavy doors, and her head snaps toward me when she realizes who's waiting for her.

Everyone.

 

 

 

"How do you plead to the charges?"

Jeanine stares at me from beside Jack, and her gaze is livid enough to kill. Her whole face has gone slack, but she maintains her composure, pushing her shoulders back and standing up straight.

"You can't honestly be serious, right now."

She speaks loudly. Her voice is clear, and her confidence is unwavering given the circumstances.

She'd walked into what felt like a slaughterhouse. For years, I'd been on her side of things. I'd have sauntered in with her, sneering down every person in this room. Andrew Prior, looking tense and impatient. Max, Tori, Jason, Rylan. Harrison, leaning against the desk and chewing on a packet of sunflower seeds. Someone from Amity who I didn't know, but he was tan and tall and looked nervous to be here. Next to him, someone else from Amity, smiling nervously at me. Jack, Jack's assistant, Jack's assistant's assistant.

Ashley.

I'd summoned her separately. I'm sure she thought it was an honor to be involved in my unspecified invitation, and she'd shown up early.

For her bosses' trial.

"We are serious. Very serious. These charges have been brought forth to every faction. Your goal for peace amongst the factions will never happen when your motives are for your own benefit. There is no way we can let you continue with what's been going on."

"And how did this…information come to you?" Jeanine presses her lips together, and her eyes flash to Ashley. Ashley's eyes widen at the accusation, but I feel no sympathy for her. I can admit she looks pale. Like she might throw up all over the chair she's standing in front of. Rylan stands next to her, smirking as she looks left and right, clearly panicked.

"It…it wasn't me." Ashley's voice is a high squeak, and she takes a step back, stepping on Rylan's foot. He pushes her forward, and she struggles to regain her balance in the center of the room. "Jeanine, please. I didn't…I didn't send him anything."

"This is preposterous. You know I've worked harder than anyone to help the factions by any means necessary." Jeanine steps forward then backward, having nowhere else to go. "I've dedicated my life to further not only the Erudite way of life, but for each and every one of you." She pauses, and her head turns to look right at me. "Some of you more than others."

I can feel everyone staring at me, but it doesn't bother me.

I'm looking at Jeanine right in front of me, and all I can see is myself. The work I've done, the things I did that I thought were right, and the reason I stopped.

Because of Everly.

I see Everly, standing next to her, being drug into her office to be tested on. I see Everly, holding onto me at night, fingers in my hair, moving closer so she wasn't cold. I see Everly, slipping away from me, as the result of my actions.

I can't change that situation, but I can change this.

"I brought you here. Not just to be placed on trial, but because I'm the one who turned you in."

I speak just as clearly as Jeanine, and her eyes widen.

"What?"

"I've been privy to your information for a long time now, but I recently realized what your aim is. That the people who you brought in to be tested and experimented on, weren't walking away from these experiments. That because of your position, you have the ability to manipulate and twist things to your liking. I can no longer stand by as an active participant. My job is to protect the factions, and today, I will do just that."

Jeanine's lips part, and her hands clench together. Her rage is subtle, but it's there. She takes a slow step toward me, and stares directly into my eyes.

"After all I've done for you, this is how you repay me…" She starts, and I shake my head.

"You've also threatened the lives of the head neurologist and your head psychologist. You'd harm two important individuals in Erudite to make sure you got your way?" I cock my head at her, and Andrew Prior crosses his arms over his chest. "Once you're done with me, where does it stop? Is it when Johanna doesn't give you what you want? Or Abnegation refuses to use your serums? When Jack realizes the truth serum is laced with a mind control aspect that you failed to mention."

"Your mother was right about you." Jeanine says the words lowly, laced with the utmost of hatred. "I should have listened to her. I should have known you were-"

"I think we can all assume that you're pleading guilty?" Jack interrupts, and he gestures for his assistant to step forward. "If you refuse to answer me, then we'll proceed as usual. We don't want to drag this out any longer than necessary."

"You're all in agreement with this?" Jeanine looks around the room wildly, and her fists clench and unclench. "All of you? You think that…I…I am responsible for all this? That what they're saying is true?"

It takes a minute. There's no moment of truth, because all from Dauntless nod right away. It takes the two from Amity a moment of glancing at each other to nod their heads slowly. They don't want to, but they don't have a choice. Andrew nods last, and his gaze is fixed on me. I can tell he's not sure, but the evidence was sent to him, clear as day.

"Fine then. I suppose I can plead guilty to enforcing the codes our factions live by." Jeanine glances around the room once more. Ashley makes a whimpering sound as Jack looks at her, knowing her association will come up eventually. I watch Jeanine turn stare to me, and when I stare her down, her face contorts into a mask of rage. She takes off in my direction, lunging for me with everything she's got.

She doesn't get far.

It's highly unlikely she'd do more than manage to scratch me, but her attempts are thwarted. By Jason. By Rylan. By Jack.

He stands before her, his jacket pristine and his eyes bright as he holds her back.

"Your list of offenses will be posted in every faction. They will be made visible to all, and all questions will come to faction leaders. You will be held to the highest punishable standards of Candor, up to and including execution."

Jeanine doesn't make a sound.

She stares me down, until Jason and Rylan have handcuffed her.

 

 

"Do you have any last words?"

I stand behind her, eyeing her warily. Jeanine Matthews. My aunt, Blythe's sister, Leader of Erudite. On her knees with her arms twisted and bound behind her back. Her blonde hair blows in the wind, and under the harsh sun, she seems ghoulish. Her eyes are dull. Her skin has grown wan at the knowledge that her life will be ending soon, and it was only out of sheer curiosity did I ask her such a thing.

"Do you really think I deserve this?" She asks lowly. Quietly.

The breeze picks up again, harsher and colder, and it slips over the two of us.

"I do." I answer honestly, and I rock back on my heels, keeping my gaze straight ahead.

After everyone had left Candor, Jack had shaken my hand. Max, Harrison, Jason, and Rylan and I were to take Jeanine outside, and once her heart had ceased beating, we would file an official death with Candor. From there, the process of finding a new Leader of Erudite would begin. The search would be overseen by Dauntless and Candor, to ensure their new leader had nothing but pure intentions.

I'd walked Jeanine outside myself, escorting her by the arm, and pushing her into the wet grass. She hadn't refused the sentencing any more than she could, and she'd watched Ashley flee in utter horror. Jack had told her they'd be in touch, and Ashley had all but cried on the spot.

She'd gotten off lucky, though.

Had anyone asked him to, Jack would have prosecuted her as well.

"You were just as involved. You helped me-"

"You refused to let me find Everly. You let her die at the hands of the factionless because you didn't like her. You offered me a replacement so I'd go back to helping you." I say the words through gritted teeth, and they hurt. They sting the inside of my mouth, and I have to swallow to keep going. "You don't deserve to live for that alone. But your offenses against the factions justify your death just as much."

"Are you going to do it?" Jeanine asks tightly, and I step forward.

My gun had been loaded since this morning.

I'd slid the clip into the gun, making sure I had enough bullets. Logically, I knew that with a clean shot, it would only take one. The gun felt heavier than normal in my hand, and even now, it feels cold. Jason had offered to be the one to shoot her, and so had Rylan.

But I needed to do it. I needed to end this once and for all, and perhaps in her death, I'd be able to move forward.

Or not.

But at the very least, I'd be sure she was dead.

I press the barrel of it against her temple, and she doesn't move.

"Everly would have figured you out, eventually. I was just trying to save you from that inevitable downfall."

I don't believe her.

"Eric, please. Think about what you're doing. Think about who has cared about you. Looked out for you. Been there for you. Given you what you wanted. You really think you'd have done this all on your own?"

"Yes."

I answer all her questions with a pull of the trigger.

Her death is instant. The gunshot is loud, and she immediately collapses, falling onto her side before I'm certain it's pierced her skin. Her eyes stay open, glassily fixed on the sky, and I look away when Rylan steps beside me, carefully avoiding her blood.

"Good thing you didn't give me your office just yet."

His words make me smile for the barest of seconds. My name hadn't come up, not yet. It still could, but I would be prepared. Ready to face what I'd done. But for now, they'd overlooked my participation since I'd kept my word to Jack.

He'd kept his word as well.

Max appears a moment later, along with Harrison and Jason, and we hold a moment of silence for the former leader of Erudite.

She doesn't deserve it, but we give it to her anyway.

 

 

I make the official announcement with Max.

It's prepared by Jack, and he stands in front of us, watching to make sure we recite it with absolute confidence since it's recorded for all the factions to see. It'll be broadcast with a slight delay, but they'll be receiving this news as they should- all at once.

His assistant motions for us to begin, and Max clears his throat.

He stays silent, his hesitation appearing out of nowhere, so I speak up. I'm the one who executed her, so I might as well be the one to spread the news.

"Today we would like to announce that Jeanine Matthews has been executed due to her crimes against the factions. It is with deep regret that we mourn the loss of a brilliant mind, but we are a city that strives for peace, and Jeanine had chosen to search for peace of a different definition. We ask for your utmost respect on this matter."

I stop, and the words are heavy as I speak them. I have a hard time conjuring up any sort of faux, appropriate empathy, and I come off just as cold as I feel. "Her replacement will be announced in the next few days. A list of complete offenses will be available for any of the concerned factions who deem it necessary. Any further questions may be asked to your faction leaders."

I nod at Jack. He nods back, and the weight of the day hits me. I'd executed my own aunt, cleared my own name the best I could, and would now begin the long and drawn out process of helping find a new Leader.

Despite what I thought earlier, it doesn't feel all that much better.

I step back, joining Max and Harrison. One of Jeanine's head researchers steps forward, having been plucked from Erudite only to make sure their presence was represented during this announcement. He recites his line quickly, rubbing at his neck when he steps back.

"Let this be a reminder that peace is not only an obligation in our city, but an honor. Good afternoon."

Jack nods his final approval.

"Well done. Thank you for your help in this matter."

He smiles tightly at everyone, not in delight, but appreciation for how this all worked out. I can still think of the very moment he asked me to help him, playing me just as I played everyone around me, backing me into a corner until I agreed.

I'm grateful for his persistence now.

He and I talk briefly. He thanks me, his hand lingering on my arm, and I tell him I'll keep him updated on the candidates. It's clear I won't be rid of him anytime soon, but perhaps he'll accomplish what Jeanine spoke of. He beat her at her own game, forcing a connection and relation where she never could.

We decide we will meet again in a week, and the rest of us leave Candor shortly after.

 

 

Upon our return, Dauntless is in an uproar.

The execution of a Leader is big news, but more so is my admission that I'd helped Jeanine all along. I'd subtly outed myself, when most of Dauntless learned that I had, in fact, been the one to execute her. It was no surprise that there were mixed feelings. Some felt I should have gone down with her, having been given confirmation of the fascinating little stories they'd heard about for years, and the other half found bravery in what I'd done. Had I not turned her work into Jack and risked my own life, she'd still be sitting in her office, working her fingers to the bone to find a way to control us all.

But it doesn't matter.

Their stares are met with my hard gaze, and I look right through them.

I'd walked along the same path that she once did, but I'd figured out that if I stayed on it, I'd end up right along beside her.

Four watches me while I walk past the groups in the Pit, and there's a hesitance in his stare. I can tell he badly wants to say something, but I don't bother to acknowledge him.

I head to my office, and I realize the amount of work I have to do has nearly tripled.

 

 

 

The messages begin not long after.

I open up my email to a slew of them; one after the other, piling up until I can't see where they end. Questions from other Leaders. Candidates for Erudite. Multiple emails from Daniel. One from Blythe that I immediately delete. Arlene, demanding that I either come see her or tell her to come see me. Jason, asking if I'd like to get dinner to celebrate or was I still claiming I didn't like chips.

I do my best to weed through them, answering the most urgent ones first. The candidate emails are a surprising mess of their own, so I print those and figure Jason and Rylan and I can go through them over dinner. I work most of the afternoon away, and I don't stop until I've caught up on everything I possibly could. I sit back in my chair, staring at my computer, and an odd sense of calm washes over me.

Despite the permanent empty space in my chest, I feel somewhat like myself.

I revel in the feeling for a moment. I go to move the mouse to click out of my email, when the screen changes. I watch as it flashes to white, and a little icon appears announcing its attempt at a connection. It shows the name Johanna at the top, and I grit my teeth together.

Of course.

Out of all the Leaders, she'd be the one to want to call me and discuss it.

I can see her now, her displeasure all over her face, even though her faction had chosen to proceed with the trial. Perhaps thinking I'd tricked her members into agreeing with me. Her disdain for our method of dealing with Jeanine, and a lengthy lecture on how she would have handled it.

And I'm sure, falsely polite commentary at my involvement in it all.

The connection beeps its success, and there is a delay until the picture appears. I hear a small child shrieking, banging on Johanna's desk, and then something mumbled. I don't look up, because my patience officially runs out.

"Johanna." I bark at her, but she doesn't respond. I say her name again, and nothing, only someone muttering so lowly I can barely hear them.

"Do you need something, Johanna?" I snap the words at her, and her office falls silent. The screen flashes as the camera comes into focus, and it's pulled back toward the desk chair by someone.

I grow even more irate, considering I've just spent hours trying to find a suitable way to route all of the patrols both through Amity and where the factionless were last spotted, hours trying to figure out who would be a good fit in Erudite, and hours reading emails about people's thoughts on Jeanine's death.

"I don't have time for this." I snarl the words at her, fully expecting to see her face fill my screen.

But it's not her that I see.

It's Everly.

I stare in slow, delayed shock as Everly stands there, staring at the screen. She's looking right at me, and for a split second, I don't believe it's her.

But it is.

Her eyes are large and green, and her dress is a pale pink color. Her hair tangles down over her shoulders, and she looks paler than I remember. Smaller. I wait for her to say my name, to blurt out why she's there, or that she's alright.

But she doesn't.

She stands there looking at the screen in confusion, and her expression is one I've seen multiple times.

Like the time I'd helped her fix the email on her phone. Or the time I'd told her she had to be up at four thirty in the morning.

My own expression is complete and utter disbelief.

Because it's her, very much in Amity, and very much alive.

"Everly."

I say her name as I stand up, staring in utter desperation. I had spent days thinking she was dead. Weeks attempting to dull the rage I felt. The horror. The way I missed her. The way I'd loved her. I grow dizzied with rage that she's in Amity, that Johanna knew she was there, and hadn't bothered to say one fucking word.

She doesn't move.

Her gaze is fixed on me, her lips parting slightly as if she's about to say something. I have a million and a half things I want to ask her, and they all fight to be the winning statement.

"Everly."

I gasp her name.

Desperately.

I thought I'd never see her again. I'd thought she was dead, at the hands of Evelyn, and I'd struggled to cope with that. I'd drunk myself into oblivion. I'd lashed out at the only people who gave a shit if I stayed alive. Even now, my lungs feel ready to explode, and right before I can ask her what the hell she's doing in Amity, the small child wiggles his way past Everly. He hits the computer, and the screen goes black.

Just like she's gone again.

I yell her name loudly.

Loud enough that Rylan comes rushing in with Jason, and this time, all I can do is repeat her name again and again.


	29. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone, and I mean everyone- who has been following along. Whether you waited to read all three chapters together, or read them one painful update at time, thanks for sticking with it. Thank you for reviewing, for all your awesome words and messages, and for not giving up while Eric was losing his mind. 
> 
> My only warning for this chapter is that it is super long. However, after the past few chapters of torture, it didn't feel appropriate to break this up in any way. So give yourself like five hours to read this, and I hope you all enjoy. 
> 
> Have a great weekend everyone !

I try to call back frantically.

The video conferencing fails time after time again, and my frustration reaches a whole new level when Jason suggests it's because the computer is turned off.

"It's not working because it's not on." He is very careful as he points out the obvious, backing away from me slowly. Smartly. "Maybe we uh, give them a moment. Maybe we try again later, or we could always go there and…"

"Of course we're going to Amity." I snap. "Everly is alive, and we're going to bring her back. Forget trying to call them."

I stand there, facing him and Rylan, and I fully expect them to leap into action. It won't take long to head downstairs, find the first truck I see, and go. I quickly calculate how long it'll take to drive, how long I'll have to spend in the faction before I find her, and how soon I can return here.

I decide she'll be home in two hours.

I reach for my jacket, grabbing it off the back of my chair and I turn to leave. To my surprise, Jason and Rylan are standing there like they're glued to the floor, and they exchange one very heavy glance between them.

"What?" I bark. "What the fuck is the hold up? Did you miss what I said? I just saw Everly in Amity. Are you coming or not?"

Rylan inhales sharply.

"Eric, hold up. Are you sure? Really sure?"

"Am I sure about what? That my wife is alive?" I cock my eyebrow at him, and it dawns on me he doesn't believe me. "You don't think I saw her?"

"No, it's not that." Rylan smiles, but it's not all that cheerful. It's forced and pained and as miserable as ever. "It's just that…I mean, today was a lot. You went to Erudite, you brought Jeanine in to be put on trial. You had your name on all that shit and uh, there was a chance Jack would turn on you. Then you carried out the sentencing yourself. It's not impossible that you're overtired and seeing things."

"Overtired." I repeat flatly, watching as he shakes his head.

"I mean, they sent back her hair tie. Just…maybe it wasn't Everly. Maybe it was someone who looked like her. I don't want you to go there and find out it wasn't her. I don't know if you can handle that all over again." He answers quickly, and I could kill him.

"Are you fucking serious?" I step toward him, and he steps away from me with both his hands up. He and Jason both back around my desk, walking backward as I come at them. "You think I'm tired and I saw someone who looked like Everly? That I don't know what my own wife looks like?!"

"NO! I'm just…wondering. We came in here because you were screaming Everly's name, claiming you saw her, but uh, the computer in Amity isn't even on. They haven't answered a single one of your calls. So how did you see her?"

"I saw her." I repeat defensively, and my throat feels like its closing in upon itself. "You don't believe me, do you? You think I'm losing it because I had a long day? Because I shot Jeanine?"

My hands clench into fists, and I can feel my heart rate increase.

"Well, she was your aunt…" Jason points out like I've forgotten. "That had to be weird. But there's clearly no one in Johanna's office. And let's be honest, you've been trying to reconnect since we got in here, and there's no one there. We don't know who you saw. Or what. Or if you saw anything." He stops and looks at Rylan, chewing on his cheek. "Maybe we should call Arlene."

He says the last part lowly, like I can't hear him.

But I can.

Their betrayal is just as bad as Four's.

Maybe worse.

"Fine. You know what? Fuck you both. You go find Arlene. Tell her I'm seeing things. And while you're down there, I'll go get Everly back myself and we'll see who's losing it." I snarl.

They both protest, but I take off. I shove past them without another word, and I head down the hallway, to the one office that I never thought I'd willingly walk into on my own.

I find Harrison sitting at his desk, leaning back with his fingers steepled together as though he's been waiting for me.

 

 

"She's alive? You must be very relieved."

Harrison looks over at me, and gestures for me to sit down. I shake my head no, because I'm not waiting around. I'd seen her standing right there in Amity, alive and well, and every second I spent here was a second that I wasn't with her.

The sight of her was maddening.

On the short walk over here, I'd wondered if maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, Jason and Rylan were right. Maybe I hadn't really seen her. Maybe it had been someone else.

But it couldn't have been. She looked right at me, her eyes finding mine even through the computer screen, like she'd been looking for me. I couldn't begin to process what I felt in that moment, and even now, standing in front of Harrison, I feel oddly out of control.

"I need to leave. Now." I bark at him and he barely reacts.

"Your friends think you're nuts, don't they? That's why you've come to me." Harrison leans back in his chair and looks over my head. "I don't think you're nuts. I don't think you're entirely sane, but that's alright. I'll go with you. I told you we'd find her."

"We haven't found her yet. I saw her on the video conferencing in Johanna's office. I need to get to Amity now. Jason and Rylan don't want to go, and that's fine. But I want backup. In case…in case this doesn't go well."

Those last few words are hard to say, mostly because while the sight of her in Amity was the best news I'd had in weeks, it wasn't fantastic news. There was a reason she was there, and not in Dauntless. Either Evelyn had tired of her, and decided to hide her there, or my suspicion of Johanna had been right, and she was hiding the factionless.

Neither option was great.

"Alright then. Let's go." Harrison stands up, reaching for the pages on his desk. "Have you-"

"Hey."

He's cut off by Rylan, arriving out of breath and red faced.

"Hey, Eric, wait!" He stumbles into the office, flinging the door open and nearly tripping over his own feet as Jason wanders in after him. "Hey, we're sorry. We didn't mean…I mean…you aren't…we just didn't want you to be upset if it wasn't Everly."

Harrison and I turn to look at them both, and I have no patience for either of them. I will, at some point in the future. But not right now. Right now, my entire body is screaming at me to get out of here, to run and find her before something happens.

Not them.

"You gentlemen can stay here. We've got this covered." Harrison shakes his head and shoves the papers at Rylan. "In fact, I'll keep you busy. Here are the routes that haven't been covered. I predict taking Everly back from Amity will cause some hard feelings amongst the factionless. Have your men patrol these. You'll want to be on the lookout in case they realize she's gone. On foot is preferable, but you could always take a truck and walk to where you need to go."

He winks at Rylan and waits for him to grasp the pages of routes he's made.

The look on Rylan's face is priceless.

"Wait no, we'll go with Eric. We just- "

"No, you'll stay here." Harrison interrupts him this time and shakes the papers until Rylan takes them. "You and I both know you don't have the authority to make this decision. Eric offered you the chance to go and you declined it. He's come to me, and I will accompany him. As the two youngest Leaders here, you'll oversee the faction until we return."

"Um, hey no we want to go." Jason protests and he waves his hands at me like I can't see him. "Eric, come on. Tell Grandpa here that we're going with you."

I say nothing.

I narrow my eyes at them, over their shit for today and over them thinking I was seeing things, before I look at Harrison.

"I'll drive."

Rylan and Jason both look defeated, even more so when Max walks in.

 

 

"You're sure it was her? Really sure?"

Max eyes me from the passenger seat, holding onto the armrest as though I'm about to run us off the road. I'd driven, not having the patience for anyone else to drive, and it was a pleasant distraction from the thought that Everly was alive. The idea was all consuming, making it hard to focus on anything else. So, I'd been logical about it. I thought of all the reasons why she was there, why Evelyn would just willingly send her to Amity, knowing full well she could open her mouth at any time and tell them what happened.

"And no one answered when you called back?" Max winces as I turn sharply, and I glare at him out of the corner of my eye.

"No, they did not. But it was her, and I'm sure of it."

I sound violent in this moment, and I am. Once I had the hope that she was alive, my patience had vanished entirely. I'd done everything in my power to get to her, and now that I was enroute, I was doing my best to be prepared if it wasn't her. Deep down I knew there was a very small chance that it hadn't been her. I suppose, in my exhaustion, I could have hallucinated the whole thing. Perhaps it was someone who looked oddly like her, or a twin sister that she'd conveniently failed to mention.

But it wasn't.

It was her.

I'd recognize her anywhere, and she'd recognized me right back.

"Why didn't Johanna say anything to us? You'd think she'd find it weird that Everly would just show up there and decide to stay."

"We'll find out." I answer him, gritting my teeth together as we take the second turn toward Amity. I drive quickly, annoyed at the late hour, and antsy to find her.

It had taken me far too long to get here.

Once I'd written off my friends for the rest of my days in Dauntless, I'd walked with Harrison downstairs, through a security checkpoint, and to the bay where the trucks were normally parked. Harrison talked while we walked, pointing out a few things I'd already thought of, but I let him. He believed me without question, and that wasn't reassuring at all.

This was a man who hunted something in the woods, on blind faith that eventually, he would return victorious. A man who may or may not be wearing a coat made out of what he'd drug in from the woods. A man who had no clue who Everly was up until a few days ago.

A man who had once told me I should do more work around here.

But he was someone who believed me, and right then, that was all I needed.

Of course, Jason and Rylan had done their best to apologize. I could see it on their faces that they both knew they'd made a mistake, and it was highly unlikely I'd seen someone other than Everly. Rylan had texted me a few times since I'd left the office, and Jason had called.

I still wanted to punch both of them.

I understood their logic. I'd spent weeks feeling like my life had unraveled to nothing, and they'd watched. I'd attacked Rylan, I'd yelled at Jason. I'd attacked and yelled at anyone who came too close to me. They'd watched me return from Erudite, pissed off and pathetically miserable. They'd both watched me drink until I couldn't feel the shitty unrelenting pain of losing the only person I'd ever cared about. They'd watched me put my own aunt on trial, then execute her when she was found guilty, and return home without skipping a beat.

They'd watched my downward spiral unravel right before them, knowing full well I wasn't so sure I'd ever be able to pull myself out. There was no lower point than learning Everly was dead. Nothing could ever be worse than that moment, and it was only with them looking after me did I manage to stay alive.

So it made sense they'd think I might not be one hundred percent coherent in that moment.

But I was. And while they'd both done their best to make sure I was alright, pointing out all the obvious things I had here, it wasn't enough. It never would be, not after her. I knew I had their friendship, and sure, I had my job here. A nice apartment. Plenty of points. The authority to demote Four to some remote outpost that had no reception.

But that wasn't what I wanted.

Not even close.

I wanted my wife back. I wanted my life that had been happening right up until the moment it was ripped away from me. I wanted everything back to normal, right now. Because without her, it felt like my life had no real meaning. It had been empty, and I'd never noticed until it was gone.

I missed her smiles when I climbed into bed, the way she sat beside me on the couch, the way she helped me cook dinner by watching from the counter. I missed her enough that it hurt when I breathed, hurt when I went to sleep, and hurt when I stood in my own apartment, swallowed up by the emptiness of everything.

So, while there was a chance that I'd conjured up the sight of her out of my own exhaustion, I was willing to take it.

Even if no one but Harrison believed me.

"I find this whole thing suspicious." Max grumbles and I close my eyes for the briefest of seconds.

My second mistake had been thinking this would be easy.

To my utter rage, we didn't get past the loading zone where the trucks should have been parked. We were stopped because the space was empty, and I was told there were no trucks available. I'd lost my shit when the guard finished explaining, cowering as I launched my cup of coffee right into the ground. He'd told us that six were out after the attack with the factionless. Two had windshields that were too cracked to drive. Ten were currently in use. Two were having the oil changed.

I'd left in a fit of rage, determined to fucking walk to Amity if I had to, when Max pointed out this was fine. We'd eat a quick dinner, attempt to contact Johanna again – maybe getting her side of the story before we got there, and show up just in time to swoop Everly back home before nightfall. He reassured me that Everly was fine; she'd lived in Amity for years without me, and she could handle a few more hours.

I relaxed enough to go along with it, but barely. I chewed a dinner I didn't taste. I ignored the continued messages from my friends. I attempted to call Johanna thirty times to no avail. I paced back and forth, sneering as initiates scrambled past me, and I swore violently at the one who accidentally bumped into me.

Just when my patience dwindled to nothing, Harrison showed up, in full uniform, announcing he had a truck ready. Three of them, in fact. He'd called the backup I'd asked for, and once they arrived, we'd left immediately.

"I just don't get why Johanna wouldn't have mentioned this? That one of our members had returned and just decided to stay there? This doesn't feel right." Max talks loudly, especially when I turn the truck sharply. I drive as fast as I can without killing us both, and behind me, Harrison cheerfully keeps up. He had called in a random patrol squad, assigned them to follow us, and didn't tell a soul why we were really going.

"Good question." I snap, and I see the border of Amity in the distance. "I have no fucking clue why she'd be there, or why Johanna didn't feel the need to tell us she had shown up there. Maybe she wants her to stay there. Or she's trying to prove something."

I could only assume Everly had a good reason for being there. Maybe something had happened, and she was helping out. Maybe she wanted to stay with her mom. Maybe she'd escaped, and Amity was the closest place she could get to.

Maybe she hadn't wanted to return to Dauntless.

I didn't know, but I was about to find out.

I turn once more, running right over the shitty, half assed wooden fence they'd put up, and I park right in front of the stables.

 

 

Johanna is not pleased at our arrival.

Nor her destroyed fence.

I'm barely out of the truck before she comes outside, clutching her shawl around her and blinking in dismay. Her gaze flits over to the broken fence and she sighs heavily when the other trucks follow suit. I get a speck of satisfaction when the last truck drags a piece of the fence with it, screeching to a stop as the young driver swerves around to the side. The trucks park on either side of mine, and when our men get out, she crosses her arms in front of her chest.

"Welcome… gentlemen." She greets us heavily, and for once, her politeness is nowhere to be found.

"Where's Esperanza?" Harrison cuts everyone off, storming over with his group of soldiers. "Where are you hiding her?" He comes to a halt right in front of her, and his men surround her so she can't run. They stand with their weapons drawn, and even Max can't hide his smirk when she eyes him and his coat warily.

"Ease up, gentlemen. We aren't here for a fight." He calls out. "Not yet."

Johanna holds up her hands as if she can press them back and the soldiers reluctantly lower their weapons. "Maybe you could explain why you are here? At this time of night. Armed."

"We're here to get Esperanza back." Harrison announces loudly. "You heard me the first time. Don't pretend you didn't."

"Who?" Johanna squints at him, pretending she's confused. But a second later, her gaze finds me, standing right next to Harrison with a dark look on my face.

I don't bother to correct him on what Everly's name actually is.

The look on Johanna's face tells me she knows why we're here, and she isn't going to make this easy.

 

 

The stables are cold.

She leads us inside, but not because she wants us there. Because she doesn't want us here, making a scene in the Amity faction.

"Everly was returned to us about a week ago. She showed up with a note saying she'd failed out of the Dauntless Leadership Program, and because of this, was to return to Amity."

Johanna throws me a pointed look, and her head tilts to the side when I glare at her. I feel dizzied, both in self-righteousness at being correct, and pure and utter relief.

I was right.

She is here and she is alive.

"She's been staying here with her family. We didn't think to press the issue. The note had your name on it, with your signature at the bottom. Telling me Everly would not speak of her time in Dauntless, and you'd make sure of it. I assumed that she was welcome back here on your own orders." Johanna continues on, and she looks right through me. "I had no idea you were looking for her."

"Bullshit." I snap, but Johanna doesn't back down at all.

In fact, she looks unusually irritable.

"It's not bullshit. She showed up here on your orders. We've worked hard to welcome her back into the faction. Are you not aware what a distraction this was? Having her returned out of nowhere? And being told to pretend nothing happened?"

"Where is she?" I stare her down, and she eventually averts her gaze. "Where is my wife?"

"Can I ask you something?" Johanna begins, but I shake my head no.

This was not going well.

Since we'd arrived, Johanna had been oddly standoffish. She didn't bother to try and feign her usual politeness, nor did she try and smile and pretend that our visit was for fun. She was clearly on edge, and she was reluctant to allow us to remain outside. Alarm bells were going off in my mind with every word she spoke, but luckily, Max seemed just as suspicious as I was.

"Johanna, come on now. You think we'd send back one of our own? Without trying to contact you first?" Max takes a step toward her, and he's nicer sounding than I was. "Everly was taken from the Dauntless compound. We had no clue she was here."

Johanna's eyes flash to me, and this time, her frown is prominent.

"I have every reason to believe what I read. The note came from Eric. I could only assume he'd divorced her upon her failure and had her come back here. You can't expect me to just turn her over because now you want her back. This is ridiculous."

Next to me, Max blinks.

"I never wrote you any fucking note." I snarl, and I step toward her. I have the advantage of being physically intimidating, and she backs up when I point my finger right in her face. I wait until her stare rises to meet mine, and I speak slowly, just in case she's still confused. "I never would have sent her back here. Ever. She didn't fail out of anything and I most certainly never divorced her."

Johanna looks over my shoulder at Max.

"Where's your other Leader? The one who doesn't even know who you're looking for?" She tries to change the subject with a subtle dig, and I have to refrain from shoving her head first into the wooden pen behind her.

"He took his team for a quick scan of your faction. We've had a few reports of suspicious activity going on lately. He's using his time here wisely." Max answers. He checks his watch, then looks back at her. "Now come on, Johanna. We don't have all night. Neither do you."

"Give me Everly, right now. Tell me where she is." I look back at Johanna, and she shakes her head.

"Eric, I…there's something you should know."

"Where is she?" I ask tightly, and I officially have seconds left before I murder her. I figure, why not? They can always elect another Leader in the morning. Someone who isn't so easily swayed by the factionless. "Is she at her mother's? Should we head that way?"

"Eric, no, she's…not…"

I'm done waiting.

"Follow me." I motion to Max, utterly done with Johanna's bullshit. I take off, heading toward the large doors as she scrambles to keep up with me. "You want to play games, then fine. We'll play games. I'll search your whole fucking compound until I find her. Every single inch. And when I do, you'll be prosecuted. Because you're actively participating in a kidnapping if you aren't willing to hand her over."

I stalk ahead of her, ignoring the cold night air.

"Eric, listen to me." Johanna pleads, but it's hiding something. "You're exceeding your jurisdiction."

Her words mean absolutely nothing. If I had any sort of sense of humor left, I'd laugh in her face over her weak claim of whose jurisdiction this was. But I don't. I give her one dark look, noticing Max is on the other side of her, and he shakes his head at me as he silently urges me on. He knows I'm undeterred by her words. I have every right to look for Everly here, and even if it takes me all night, I'll find her.

And when I do, I will take her home with me.

Where she belongs.

We walk through the doors quickly, and I'm fully prepared to take the path to her mother's house.

"One more chance." I call out, and I look at Johanna once more, unable to stop the sneer from crossing my face. "Where is she?"

"Eric." Johanna stops suddenly, and her whole body tenses up. I immediately follow her gaze, skimming past a small, lost child examining the tires on one of our trucks, right over to where Everly is standing.

Staring at me with wide eyes.

I react without thinking.

"Everly."

I say her name loudly and she looks right at me. Her eyes find mine, and it's with great relief that I notice she's just fine. She looks tired and cold, but she's breathing. Her hair is still long and dark, her skin is paler than ever, and her gaze is glued to me the same way it was on the computer screen.

She looks just as beautiful as ever, perhaps more so.

I take off, striding past the truck, past the small child practically beneath the truck now, and I reach her before Johanna can utter another useless word.

"What are you doing here?" I stop in my tracks, and it feels like a painful slap in the face that I'd forgotten how small she is. She tilts her head to look up at me, large green eyes roaming over every inch of me, and her cheeks are red.

Her arms are wrapped around herself to ward off the cold, and I can't help but notice she's half dressed in some flimsy nightgown despite the cold temperature.

I wouldn't expect anything else from her.

The relief I feel is sticky and hot, and all consuming. I don't wait for her to respond, either. I can barely process the fact that she's right here, right in front of me after all this time. I reach for her, sliding my arm around her waist, fingers curling into the thin fabric at her lower back, and I pull her flush against my chest.

She is cold.

Really cold.

I can feel the chill as she reaches up, resting her hands on my chest.

"I thought Evelyn killed you," I blurt out the words lowly, and I forget that Max is behind me. That Harrison and his team are trampling around somewhere. That Johanna had some weird reason for not wanting me to find Everly. I focus only on her in front of me, her shoulders shivering in the night air as she reaches her other hand up and into the back of my hair. Her touch is familiar, sliding over the sides slowly, and her lips part slightly. "We celebrated your death yesterday."

She doesn't seem to know what I mean, but I don't think anything of it.

I have her back and that's all I wanted.

I decide to shut up. I've wasted enough time as it is, and I refuse to waste a second more. I bend my head down, reveling in the act of simply being so close to her once again, and a second later, my nose brushes against hers. I flash back to every time I'd kissed her gently, doing my best to show her how much she meant to me when I couldn't tell her. Doing my best to hint at what I felt for her, without actually saying it. I do the same now, though this time I can feel her heart beating, her pulse in her neck, and the way she exhales as my nose pushes against hers.

I wait no longer.

Her nails dig into my scalp when my lips touch hers, cold and soft, and I press harder.

She's alive.

I feel triumphant.

The highest of all highs, rushing through me with enough force that I feel lightheaded.

I can also feel her against my chest, just like every night, and that triumph turns frantic. Ecstatic. Overwhelmed with the urge to grab her and run. I wait for her to sink into me, giving in to the same relief that I'm feeling that I've found her. That I kept my word, and I didn't leave her wandering around Amity like I hadn't noticed she was gone. I pull her closer, desperate to immediately head home with her, and I start to lift her up.

Until I realize she's barely moving.

Her lips might be against mine, but it's like she's never kissed me before.

Or anyone.

I break away abruptly, and my stomach leaps into my throat.

"What's wrong?" I stare at her, for her eyes are on mine, and they are wide with uncertainty. "Everly, what's wrong?"

She stays silent.

I set her down right in front of me, but my arm stays around her back. I can feel every breath she takes, and the last one is long and sharp.

"Say something." I demand, and the horror is right there. Right in my esophagus, threatening to claw its way up and out.

Her silence feels like forever, until eventually, she blinks.

"I…" Everly pauses, she suddenly looks miserable. "I don't remember you."

I freeze, and it takes me a moment to realize what she's saying. To slowly piece together what is going on.

To realize I was wrong.

There was something worse than Everly being found dead.

This.

It's this.

I can feel my expression change. The relief of finding her slips right through my fingers and is replaced with pure and utter rage.

"What did they do to you?" I ask her through gritted teeth, and my fingers dig into her skin. I hold onto her tightly, like this Everly will vanish just as easily as the first one did. "Did they inject you with something? Something to make you forget who you are?"

My thoughts come out hissed at her, as though she'd asked for this. I flash back to Daniel's words, that I'd been smart to have her vaccinated, and I think of the missing shipment he'd been accused of taking. They must have had it, and they must have done something to her.

That this was for me, a punishment fitting once they realized they couldn't defeat me in battle.

They'd defeat me the only way they could, by destroying Everly and everything we had.

In front of me, Everly bites her lip, and shakes her head. She looks dismayed, but her hands stay on my shirt, holding onto me. "I don't really remember what happened. I can remember everything up until I went to take my aptitude test, but after that it's just kind of blurry."

I can only stare at her. My gaze falls to her neck, searching for some sort of visible mark. An injection site or a bruise. But there is nothing, only pale skin beneath her dark her and the strap of her nightgown.

"My friends…my friends told me I was training with you...in Dauntless." She keeps talking, and she sounds just like Everly. Just like the Everly I'd married. I hold onto her even tighter, wondering if she'll try to run. Wondering if she'll want to stay here, since she can't remember anything.

Wondering if this is how Evelyn fucked my life over just one more time.

"They said I passed the initiation…" She pauses, and I can tell she doesn't even know what that is.

"You did." I answer sharply. "You were training to become a Leader in Dauntless."

"Oh." She keeps looking up at me, and I keep waiting for the recognition to burn behind her eyes. For a speck of something, anything, to tell me she remembers something.

But it doesn't come.

Despite her small hands clinging to me, and the fact that she's still pressed right up against my chest, it's obvious she doesn't remember me.

At all.

"Did your friends tell you anything else?" My voice is low now, warmer as the weight of Everly leans into me. I wonder if she knows we're married, or that she'd been with me since the very first day of her initiation.

To my very small delight, she shakes her head. "No."

She stares up at me, determined as ever, and I want to scream. I had found her. After all those nights of anguish and guilt, I had found her alive in Amity. But not only does she not remember me, she has no clue about the things she's accomplished.

My lips curl up when her fingers work to hold on tighter -as though I'll shove her away from me, and I notice that despite her not remembering me, she's certainly not afraid of me.

Just like before.

I let go of her waist with one arm, still keeping her against me. I reach up to touch her cheek, pushing her hair off her face and letting my fingers stay on her freezing skin. They trail down over her neck, finding nothing noticeable. I realize I need to get her inside, to give her a jacket to wear, and then I'll take her home. I make the snap decision that I'll call Arlene, and I'll have her examined tonight.

There were a few reasons she should remember me, but there's one very large reason she didn't.

"It shouldn't have affected you. The serums don't work on anyone who's Divergent." I watch for her reaction, but her expression is confused.

"How do you know that I'm Divergent?" She asks, and she pulls on my jacket. She wants to be closer, and I find myself relaxing given the circumstances.

"Because you're my wife."

Her eyes widen when I say the words, and she doesn't let go. She rises up on her toes, and I bend my head down to listen to her.

"Are you taking me with you? To Dauntless?"

Her words are soft and quiet, and her lips graze my ear as she talks. I can feel the panic radiating off her now, and it makes her hands shake as she does her best to stay with me. Close to me. Touching me.

She's definitely Everly.

"Do you want to stay here?" I ask her, just as quietly.

To my delight, she shakes her head no again, and her hair brushes against my cheek.

"No. I've wanted to leave…since that day. Since I woke up here. But I didn't know where I'd go."

Her fingers slip, and she immediately grasps back onto me. Her panic is well founded, but it's not coming from the idea that I'm taking her from Amity.

It's that I'll leave her here.

"Okay." I nod my head, and my fingers slip lower, pulling her back into me, and Everly falls forward. She stays there, with her cheek against my chest, and her shoulders relax when she realizes I'm not leaving her behind.

We stand there until Harrison returns with his team, loudly announcing they've found something.

 

 

"I was trying to tell you." Johanna begins, and her expression isn't any happier than when we'd arrived. "Your note said you'd make sure she wouldn't remember Dauntless. We assumed you had done this. Everly doesn't remember anything past when she arrived here."

She grimaces at me, and Everly looks up at me, both waiting to hear my answer.

I'd already announced I was taking her home.

Once Harrison had returned, with his team celebrating…something, we'd gone back inside. Max had looked visibly relieved when he saw Everly walking with me, though his face wasn't thrilled when she didn't remember him either. He'd looked upset when Johanna announced she couldn't remember anything, and he sighed when she shook her head at his questioning.

"We didn't inject her. The factionless did." I point out, and my words sound obnoxiously smug. "Who would have thought that such kind and gentle people would do such a thing. Its like they were doing this purposely."

Johanna bristles and crosses her arms over her chest. "You can't possibly know that."

"You aren't worried that she won't remember?" Max smiles at the both of us, but it's not out of relief. It's uneasy, and he stares at her with a funny look on his face.

"No." I answer firmly, keeping my arm around her. She's right against my side, still barefoot, still half dressed. "I'll have Arlene run a full panel of bloodwork to see if there's anything left in her system. I'm assuming Evelyn gave her a newer version of the serum."

Everly listens carefully, but next to me, Max snorts. "Evelyn knows enough to create her own version?"

Johanna also listens carefully. I make sure she's looking right at me when I answer, and I direct it at her.

"I doubt she did it. There are Erudites who have left and joined the factionless. Not everyone agreed with the system. There's enough knowledge between them to attempt another version."

"And you really aren't worried that the effects are permanent?" Max stares at Everly, then my fingers, digging into her side. "What will you do if she doesn't ever remember anything else?"

I don't like the way he's talking about her like she isn't here, but I appreciate his concern. I look down at her, and I unconsciously jerk her against me. "Can you remember what happened a few days ago?"

She looks up at me, still not moving from my side. "Yeah. I can remember new things. But it's like I'm missing time."

"She'll be fine. As a precaution I had her vaccinated against the earlier strains, so whatever they gave her won't last long." I smile smugly at Johanna, and despite the fact that she should be celebrating this little fact along with us, she still manages to look unhappy. "We'll be leaving tonight."

My words piss her off. She sighs heavily, looking at Everly as though she'd like to rip her away from me.

"I don't really feel comfortable sending her back to Dauntless when she doesn't remember choosing it."

Of course she doesn't.

Even though I had my suspicion she wouldn't go along with my plan, I react immediately to what she says.

If need be, I will take Everly by any means necessary. She's chosen another faction, regardless of what she can remember. She belongs with me in Dauntless. Not here. Not wandering around, clueless to the life she's been ripped away from. The moment I saw her, I'd decided she'd return home, and unless she was absolutely miserable in Dauntless, she'd stay there.

Which means I'll knock Johanna far into the ground if I have to.

Luckily, Johanna picks up on this. Or she realizes I've brought enough man power to back me up. She holds her palms up and gives in with a look of extreme reluctance.

"If Everly wants to go with you, then I certainly won't stop either of you."

Her lips turn down when she speaks. Her tone is soft and wounded, and she looks pointedly at Everly. But her attempts at manipulation aren't impressive. I know what she's hoping. That since Everly can't remember she's chosen Dauntless, she'll stay in Amity as payment for all Johanna's done for her.

Unfortunately for Johanna, I have other ideas.

"You won't stop me anyway because she's my wife, and there's no way I'm leaving her behind." I snarl at her. "You try and stop me, and I'll make sure you're prosecuted for aiding and abetting in a kidnapping."

"The note came from you. It said she was to stay here because she wouldn't remember anything…" Johanna protests once more, but something dawns on her, and she frowns suddenly. She looks over at Max, then at me, then at Everly. "You never wrote any note, did you?"

This time, her words are disheartened.

"No. I certainly never wrote you any note asking you to keep my wife here." I retort, wondering how on Earth she could be so stupid. "When you got it, you should have confirmed this with us. How would we even know she'd actually arrived here?"

"I'm sorry." Johanna looks ill now, and I decide to have Harrison run a team back through here at all hours of the day and night.

I don't accept it. In fact, I reject her apology with every fiber of my being.

"We'll be in touch."

I give her one final warning, a silent and heavy caution that she better knock off whatever the fuck it is she's been doing. I don't wait to see if she agrees; I look down at Everly, and she's looking up at me, with a hopeful expression on her face.

I smile down at her, and I realize with Arlene's help, in a few hours, she'll remember everything.

Everything.

"Let's get you home."

Everly smiles back at me, and I pull her along before Johanna can utter one more word.

 

 

She stops at the passenger door of the large truck, unsure of what she's supposed to do.

Johanna had said a quick goodbye to her, hugging her tightly while looking at me like I was the one kidnapping her. Had I been a more patient person, I would have appreciated the fact that Johanna had looked out for her and had done her best to help Everly acclimate back to life in Amity. Because I was no longer a patient person, I'd sneered for her to hurry up, and Johanna broke apart before Everly did.

Now Everly stands there, her head craned up at the truck, and I find myself relaxing at the sight of her.

Harrison and his team were already in the trucks. They were waiting for my signal to leave. He'd had Max ride home with him, and I was grateful for the chance to talk with Everly by herself. She seemed not quite overwhelmed, but oddly happy to be leaving. I had my own suspicions, but I wanted to know what she remembered. If there was more than she was letting on, and she was just being polite enough not to say it in front of Johanna.

"I'll help you."

I reach past her to open the door and she turns when my hands find her waist. I pick her up easily, still barefoot but now wearing my jacket, and I set her on the passenger seat. I keep my hands on her, unwilling to let go of her just yet.

Like I'm afraid she'll disappear.

I suddenly think of Jason and Rylan doubting me, not believing I saw her here, and when she looks back at me, I feel a rush of warmth.

I'd found her.

And now, I'm bringing her home.

"Thank you."

Her voice is just like I remembered it, nice and pretty, and too kind for what she's been through. I nod my head at her, still unable to move, but Everly doesn't move either. She just stares back, like deep down somewhere, she knows who I am and she's doing her best to make that connection. Her lips turn up slightly, and I reluctantly let go of her. When she turns to fix her seatbelt, I shut her door carefully, the slam rather satisfactory as it rings in my ears.

I walk around the truck, signaling for Harrison to take off, and I take one last, lingering look at Amity.

The faction is silent. The random child is no longer beneath the trucks. He'd been escorted away by Johanna after Harrison yelled at her. She's now watching from the doorway, no longer so annoyed or irritated, but just observing. She holds the child's hand so he stays with her, and he waves enthusiastically as I turn the truck on.

Everly misses it completely.

She's watching me, and she scoots over as we take off, leaving Amity behind us.

 

 

Dauntless is quiet and dark for once.

I park right behind Harrison, watching him jump out of the truck with great enthusiasm. He skips around to the side, rips the door open, and pulls his victim out from the backseat. Everly and I watch him drag the man out of the truck by his arm, and I have to admit, Harrison has done well.

The man he's brought back was one who was closest to Evelyn when I saw her. He puts up a bit of a fight, but he gives up quickly when Harrison's team surrounds him. They take him away to be interrogated, and I should follow. I should take Everly home, tell her I'll be back, and storm down there while we question him until he gives in.

But I have other things to do.

I help Everly out of the truck, grasping her by the waist again and setting her down as nicely as I can. She takes in the large area with wide eyes, and they only get wider once I walk her inside.

My stomach turns over when she looks around Dauntless like she's never been here.

The look on her face causes a sharp pain, so I lead her through as quickly as possible. I see her examine everything, glancing up at the high ceilings, the rocky walls, the uneven pathways. She walks carefully, my jacket far too large on her, but warmer than what she has on. She lingers at a section of the hallway that's lighter than the rest, and her fingers glide over the marbled texture curiously.

I let her.

I slow down slightly, mindful that she's barefoot, but not for long.

We reach the infirmary before she has a chance to really see much of the compound. She stays next to me, and I push her forward, right into the crowded waiting room. Everly looks around with a funny expression on her face, and I smirk when she moves to press herself right back against me. The infirmary is busy, far busier than I'd expected, but we aren't waiting. I shove past the line, walking Everly around the desk, and ignoring Molly. She looks up right as we walk by, and her fingers pause over the keyboard.

"Hey! Do you have an appointment?"

I pay no attention to her. I don't have an appointment, but I was a little too busy to have made one. I push Everly further on, and we walk past the triage, and down the hallway. Once I find Arlene's office, I don't bother knocking. I yank the door open and step inside.

"Arlene, I need your help." I barge right in, yelling for Arlene to pay attention to me. She looks up from the chart she'd been staring at, and her gaze skips right past me over to Everly. Arlene's eyes widen in surprise, then she grows immediately disgruntled at the sight of her alive.

I smile, because things are feeling practically normal already.

"What the hell, Eric?" She snaps, standing up and shoving the files away from her. "I thought you said she was…"

"I was wrong." I bark, and she shoots me one dirty look as her previously kind feelings toward me vanish. I may have earned her sympathy with a deceased wife, but I certainly don't have it anymore. "But I need your help."

Arlene walks around her desk quickly, and she stares at Everly with great curiosity.

"Everly, I didn't think we'd ever see you again." She stops in front of her, examining her critically before looking at me. "And to think, this one here came in whining that his wife had been taken from him. Thank heavens you're back. We all know there's no one else in Dauntless worthy of furthering the Coulter blood line."

I roll my eyes at her. It should be no surprise that she'd welcome Everly back by bringing that entire fiasco up.

But Everly doesn't remember any of this.

I feel her fingers pull on my hand, and I look down at her.

"Wait, do we have kids?" She looks confused, but slightly pink at the idea. I start to shake my head no, when Everly bites her lip and looks at Arlene. "No?"

It takes Arlene far longer than necessary to realize what's going on. She takes in her bare feet. Her long, tangled hair. My jacket, over her awful nightgown. The confused expression on her face.

It takes Arlene far longer than I'd expect before she pieces together what's going on. Her stare flashes to me, and she puts her hands on her hips.

"Oh crap. Those shitheads injected her, didn't they?"

Fucking finally.

"Evelyn did. They had her taken back to Amity with a note saying she was to stay hidden there. I can only assume they thought her memory wouldn't come back at all. She can remember everything up until a point." I eye her warily, and I debate telling her what Daniel told me about the missing serums. Then I think the better of engaging in any more conversation than necessary.

Arlene sighs, and looks at Everly's neck, then her face. "Are you able to hold onto new memories?"

Everly nods, but her fingers tighten on my hand. "I can remember waking up in Amity, and everything up until now. But nothing in between."

Arlene's face darkens in annoyance. "Those morons. Always thinking they can just create whatever they want to mess with the mind." She stops to shake her head, then glances at her watch. "We'll start your bloodwork and I'll have Milo do a quick scan. My guess is she'll be fine. You did request that she was given the vaccination for this sort of thing."

"How can you vaccinate against a serum?" Everly asks, and her fingers slide through mine. Were she not so confused looking, or so hesitant when I kissed her, I'd half believe she was faking it.

Arlene looks at me, then my fingers intertwined through Everly's, and she grimaces.

"The serums work like a strand of a virus. It gets into the blood stream, attaches itself, and begins making changes. Because Eric asked that you be given the shot, it's making the serum malfunction. That's why you can still process new memories. Their serum wasn't strong enough against everything you've had. Had they been able to come up with something to really erase your memory, you wouldn't be able to retain any new information. Your short-term memory would be affected as well."

"Oh." Everly's answer is unsure, and I don't blame her. I suppose finding out you'd had your memories erased was enough for one day, but then learning you were injected with something that didn't actually work properly wasn't any better.

Arlene places her hands on her hips and smiles at me.

Widely.

"For once your control freak nature has worked in Everly's favor."

I glare at her but I have to agree.

She checks her watch again, then the chart she'd been looking at. "Everly, you come with me. Eric, you can wait in here."

"Fuck no." I retort, and I tighten my grip on Everly's hand even further. "I'm not leaving her alone with you. Or anyone. Ever again."

It's Arlene's turn to roll her eyes.

"Fine. Head to the room on the left. I'll draw her blood there myself since you two can't bear to be separated for ten minutes."

"Fuck off." I cheerfully retort, and Everly squeezes my hand to get my attention.

"What does that mean?" Everly asks, not looking too enthused. "What is she going to do?"

Arlene smiles again as she ushers us both out of her office. I hear her screech unpleasantly for someone to help her, and I pity the poor staff on duty with her tonight.

Everly waits for Arlene to answer, and she finally does.

With one dark, irritable expression on her face.

"We're going to find out exactly what you were injected with."

Arlene hated a lot of things, but people fucking with Erudite science was something she hated most of all. I walk a room over with Everly, and I only hope this will turn out in my favor.

Something had to.

 

 

Everly doesn't appreciate being stabbed.

To be fair, Arlene is doing her best to hurry, but Everly pales when Arlene slides the needle into her arm. A minute later, her blood begins to fill the vial, and Arlene calls someone in to take Everly's temperature while she works.

I step out of the room once her help arrives.

My phone had been vibrating since I arrived back in Dauntless. I hadn't bothered to look at it, but now, I quickly scan through the messages and missed calls. I decide to call Rylan back first, pleased when he picks up on the first ring.

"Hey, I heard…I heard she's back."

Rylan yells the words at me, somewhat defensive but mostly thrilled. I hear him shove Christina off him a second too late, and her unpleasant shriek fills my ear.

"Yeah, she's back. She was in Amity. Just like I said." I make sure to point that out to him, and he sighs.

"Yeah, yeah. You were right. We should have listened to you. I saw Harrison a little bit ago and he made sure I knew he was with you when you found her. But hey, I'm really happy she's okay. We missed her." He shoves Christina away again, and I hear her beg him to let her talk to Everly.

"Well...she's…" I stop, wondering just how to explain how she was. Technically, she was okay. She looked healthy and normal aside from the memory issues. "There's just…one thing…"

"What's wrong?" Rylan interrupts, and I hear a door slam. "Is she alright? Did something happen?"

"They erased her memory." I blurt it out as a nurse calmly walks past me carrying what looks like someone's internal organs in her hands. "They injected her with a serum and sent her to Amity with a note claiming to be from me. Johanna believed it, so no one bothered to contact us. I'm going with the assumption that Evelyn had the honor of doing it."

"Wait…what?"

"Yeah. Hopefully, it's temporary. She's getting her blood drawn now so they can test it. She can remember new things, but nothing else. She doesn't remember choosing Dauntless or coming here, but she didn't want to stay in Amity. She was happy to come back here."

"Fuck." Rylan swears. "Does she remember you?"

I turn, as another nurse strolls past me, and this one is carrying a mountain of gauze.

"No. She doesn't."

My words sound defeated, even though I don't mean them to. But I can feel it, the high of finding Everly slowly fading away the longer I stand here. I may have found her and brought her home, but she had no clue who I was, or why it was so important that I had her back.

It was unfair that after all this, I was standing in the infirmary, hoping for the good news that my wife would eventually remember me.

"Oh shit. Eric, where are you? Do you want me to come and meet you? I can be there in two minutes."

I shake my head even though he can't see me.

"Arlene's with her now. They're going to see what they gave her and if there's anything we can do. Maybe…maybe it'll wear off soon."

"Are you sure?" Rylan asks again, and this time, I tell him no.

"We're heading home after this. But I'll keep you updated."

He agrees, and I hang up before he asks me any more questions I don't have answers to. I hate that I have a slow, sinking feeling about this whole thing, and I wonder what'll happen if she never remembers me.

If she never remembers us.

It's all I can think of as I walk back into the room to find her.

 

 

I take her home as soon as Arlene is done.

She walks along with me quietly, and I don't bother pointing out where we're going. Dauntless is dark and twisty at this hour, and there's a good chance it won't make sense even if I tell her.

Instead, we walk through Dauntless silently, and every so often, her fingers brush against mine.

 

 

Two hundred hours later, she emerges from the shower.

Once we'd arrived home, Everly had glanced around with an air of frustration. She squinted at the couch, at the kitchen, at the cabinets. She frowned when I walked her to our bedroom, and she'd scowled when she caught sight of herself in the mirror.

She looked disheveled. Her arm was sore after Arlene's work, and her hair was a mess. I'd told her she should take a shower, hoping she'd scrub the Amity right off her, and maybe she'd feel better after that. She'd agreed, and I'd sat on the bed, staring at the wall until I heard the shower turn on.

For once in my life, I had no clue what to do.

I had plenty of things I'd like to do.

I'd like to celebrate her return by burning the hideous nightgown I'd found her in. I'd like to push her back into my sheets, showing her just how much I missed her. I'd like to hear her sigh my name again and again and pretend that none of this had happened.

I'd like her to remember me.

But she didn't, and an eternity later, she stands before me, wrapped in a large bath towel, looking around the room. I can tell she shares some of my defeat, and she looks at me as she does her best to keep the towel wrapped around her.

I stare at her wet hair, dripping down onto her collarbone.

"Where are…my clothes?"

She waits for my response, and I do my best not to retort that she doesn't need them. That she can dry off and climb in bed and that'll be just fine. But she also looks unsure of herself, so I point to her side of the dresser.

"Over there."

I stand up slowly, hating the awkwardness of this, because it's coming from me. I want so badly for her to smile and tell me she's fine now, that her shower has fixed everything.

But she doesn't.

She stands there holding onto her towel for dear life, and I give her the space she deserves. I leave while she gets dressed. I return a moment later when she calls my name, and I wordlessly point out where her hairbrush is. She smiles as she finds it, sitting down on the edge of the mattress to untangle her hair, and I decide I might as well get ready for bed.

To my surprise, my chest still hurts.

I stare at her, noticing the way her own nightgown doesn't fit any better, and the straps slide down as she combs out the tangles. She stares at me, not blinking when I pull my shirt off over my head. Her gaze lingers on me, unabashedly slipping over every ounce of muscle I'd worked hard for, and she sets the hairbrush down.

"Are you tired?" I ask her.

She nods her head, leaning back to really look at me, and the exhaustion hits me out of nowhere.

Maybe Jason and Rylan had been right.

I am tired.

I feel it as I reach for my belt, and Everly watches my fingers undo the buckle. She's certainly not shy, nor is she afraid. She's quiet as I unbutton my pants, bringing her legs up beneath her, but she doesn't look away. Only at me, with an odd sense of longing.

Like we've been here once before, this same pull between us, just as strong now as it was before.

"Do you want to sleep in here tonight?" I ask her carefully. "This is where you normally sleep."

The last part would be humorous, because really, she'd barely slept anywhere else. Give or take those first few nights where she slept in the guest room, but that hadn't lasted long.

But it's not funny now. I'm reminding my wife that she sleeps next to me, when all I want to do is lunge for her and keep her against me for the rest of the night.

It sucks when she glances around the room like she's never been in here before. Her eyes skim over the dark comforter, her nightstand, and the dresser. She takes in the nail polish, the brush I'd replaced after Rylan used hers to comb the butter out of his hair, and a few of the nightgowns she'd pulled out. Her shoes, by the closet door, and her dresses, neatly hanging up beside my uniform.

The proof of her existence is right here.

It's everywhere she's looking, yet I can tell it's not enough.

I'm close to scowling when I finally look at her.

"I can sleep in here." She answers cheerfully, and her words are sweet and enthusiastic.

I find myself smiling at how excited she seems, and I suddenly feel better.

They may have erased her memories, but they certainly didn't erase who she was.

 

 

She falls asleep a good distance away from me.

It's insulting, but I understand.

I may have shown up to save her from the perils of a life in Amity, but I was still some stranger to her. Even announcing she was my wife hadn't suddenly jarred her memory, nor did it remind her that she'd slept in my bed since the start. Or the fact that she'd been the one to decide she wanted to sleep in here.

So, I'm forced to ignore the sting when she curls up away from me, burying herself beneath the covers. The burn when she'd uttered the quietest of goodnights, after one longing look in my direction. The ache when she seems fine not being all that close to me.

I couldn't bring myself to tell her to scoot the fuck over next to me. That I'd be nice. I wouldn't do anything but hold onto her, doing my best to quell this unrelenting fear that she'd be gone when I woke up. That I'd make sure she slept okay, and maybe for once, I'd sleep okay as well.

Instead, I keep my mouth shut and try not to take it personally. She wouldn't know that while I may not be warm and inviting, I would try for her if she would only scoot over several hundred feet.

Eventually, I let it go. I don't fall asleep for a long time, not until I'm sure her breathing is quiet and slow, and only then do my eyes close with devastating heaviness.

 

I wake up in the middle of the night, and the dream is just behind my eyes. I force it away, the same burning sensation starting as my brain joyfully shows me what life without Everly was like, and I grow hot when it doesn't fade. In fact, I only grow hotter, pinned down beneath the weight of my own fears.

It takes time before I stupidly realize it's not the dream, but Everly, lying on my chest.

She's pressed herself right over me, one arm thrown over my stomach, and her leg shoved through mine. Much like the first time she ever slept in my bed, she's sound asleep, her breathing deep and slow and familiar.

This is almost more painful than the dream.

I slowly raise one hand up, skimming over her back and her shoulders, and I grab a fistful of her hair until it tangles in my fingers.

The burning starts all over again, until I realize that my eyes are wet and heavy with the desperation I feel. It's all encompassing and impossible, like I'm trying to breathe underwater, as I want so badly for her to wake up and be fine. To be Everly. To remember.

I allow myself to feel everything about this moment.

For once, I do not pretend that I am stronger than this, because I'm not. I'd known for some time now that I'd lost her, and this was no different.

I swallow thickly, until I'm tired enough to fall asleep again, but I don't let go of her.

I hold onto her tightly, horrifically and abashedly afraid she'll be gone when I open my eyes.

 

 

 

She adapts slowly, but not for lack of trying.

She grows frustrated when she can't remember where things are. We bump into each other in the kitchen, her frowning when she can't find a coffee cup, and me smirking as I pull it down from a shelf for her. She scowls when I show her how to use her keycard and it beeps loudly, flashing a bright red. She doesn't like that it's deactivated, and I text Jason and ask him to have it turned back on.

She bites her lip when she doesn't know where the mess hall is, or why we don't eat there, and when I mention she has friends, she looks understandably upset at not remembering them.

There are a thousand things I want to tell her, but I have a hard time picking out the most important ones. I go with what's necessary, hoping it'll be enough to help her fill in the missing pieces.

Once she's showered, the act comforting as it's one place she's familiarized herself with, she emerges from my bedroom dressed in a dark sundress. I scowl when I see her waltz by me, her arms and legs bare, and I want to bark at her that the temperature outside is barely higher than forty degrees.

But I don't want her to be afraid of me. So, I politely glare at her, and cross my arms over my chest when she seems to think she won't freeze to death.

"Everly, it's cold out."

"Are we going outside?" She looks adorably innocent, but I remember that she isn't when her leg touches mine, and she tugs one of the straps of her sundress back into place.

"No. You are never going outside again." I loudly make this announcement, realizing this will be a much easier way to keep an eye on her. She waits for me to say something else, but she also smiles slightly, adjusting the skirt of her dress so it lays smoothly. "Now go put on a sweater."

She doesn't.

She does grab a blanket, and she and I sit on the couch until we've finished our coffee.

 

 

 

I show her the highlight reel of Dauntless.

I make a quick list of the places I think she'll need to know, and then I decide which of those are absolutely necessary. There is a huge risk in dragging her around Dauntless when she can't remember anything. Not only is there a high chance she'll have no reason to visit any of these places, the last thing I want is an impressionable Everly getting an earful about me from random members of Dauntless.

People seemed to have lots of opinions on me these days.

There was also the tiny little fact that other than a select handful of the faction, no one knew she'd come home. I had to admit I got a small thrill of self-indulgence at this. It felt good, like the best of all secrets, but I knew it wasn't going to last forever.

Eventually, I'd have to reveal she was back.

Because until I did, the members would either shriek in horror at the sight of her, or wonder if they were seeing things, and I had no desire to subject her to that. It was clear she didn't feel entirely at ease back in Dauntless and taking her on a grand tour of every single place would be pointless.

We start with a visit to the infirmary on the off chance that Arlene will have her test results back. She doesn't, and once there, we both avoid the gaze of a nosey Molly and the evil and invasive stare of Arlene. We head to the mess hall, crowded and noisy and crammed full of members who don't notice us. The stores where Christina took her, including the one that Christian seemed to send all his Everly inspired clothes to. The floor where all Leaders work. Linda. The breakroom.

My office.

"Is there more?" She asks, doing her best to keep up. I forget that she doesn't know where she's going, and I catch her elbow as she turns the corner a little too sharply.

"There's a lot more. This will do for now. If there's anywhere else you need to go, I'll take you." I glance down at her, and I notice the look on her face. The look that says this is a lot, that she probably won't venture to any of the places I've taken her unless I'm with her. "Do you have any questions?"

Everly shakes her head, and she steps closer to me. We pass by the watchful stare of Harrison. He looks smug and proud as we walk by, and I nod my hello at him. I idly wonder if I should stop and introduce her, but I don't think either of them are ready for such an interaction.

Or the wonder that was Harrison's entire being.

I'm distracted when her fingers touch mine, grazing ever so slightly as she walks closer to me than necessary. Her touch is innocent; she's simply bumped into me because she can't walk in straight line, but the feeling sends a jolt of electricity up my spine.

I immediately tense up.

It's like we're starting all over again, right back at the beginning. I want to take her hand and slide my fingers back through hers, holding on tightly as we walk, but I can't. It doesn't feel right. Not yet. She's Everly, but not Everly, and I'm not sure how she'd take my grabbing her hand as we walk along. It was fine in the infirmary, but it doesn't feel fine now.

I hate it.

We head down the long hallway, and I relax when she seems to remember the way to the elevators. I force myself to calm down, and especially while we wait for the elevator doors to open. She pushes the button a few more times, and I smile when she steps back to stand right next to me.

My fingers touch hers as we step in, and this time, I don't tense up.

 

 

 

Quinten is the first one I tell.

I find him in the kitchens, snapping at the line cooks and demanding they pay attention. He turns around when I walk right up to him, and his glare lessens when he realizes I'm here for a favor.

"You want me to make you a whole cake? For what?"

I'd made the decision that surrounding Everly with things she remembered might be helpful. I'd already shown her the faction, and the next step was introducing her to the food here.

Starting with the only thing she'd really enjoyed: the chocolate cake.

Quinten had dropped it off before dinner, and I'd saved it until we finished eating. Everly watched me cook, this time standing next to me and staring as I cut things with a vengeance. While it felt normal, it wasn't. It was close to our normal routine; but she'd normally sit on the counter and hand me the things I needed. Sometimes she'd try to guess what I was going to use, and sometimes she'd try to pick what she thought I should use. So her standing next to me had felt odd, even though she seemed fine with it. I watched her carefully, following after her once she marched over to the dining room table.

I regret that immediately.

"How did no one notice I was being kidnapped?" She asks me the million-dollar question as I take a drink of my coffee. I raise my eyebrow at her, stalling for time as I force myself to swallow down the drink.

I'd thought dessert would be a nice way to end our night. I'd brought the cake to the table, and her eyes had lit up. I didn't really want any, but I cut two large pieces and handed her the bigger one.

That was when her real questioning began. And while completely reasonable, it isn't what I want to answer.

Because I don't have a great answer.

I frown at the thick frosting on my plate, and I do my best to tell her what I can. I leave out the parts where I beat the shit out of Karl. Where I nearly murdered Four just to feel something. I hint that the control room should have noticed her being attacked, and I do more than hint that those working that shift had been suspended without pay for more than a few weeks. Kacie had been livid, but their distractions had nearly cost me Everly.

I tell her how Colton had carried her out, and in turn, he'd prevented them from shooting at her. That Karl had called for the soldiers to cease fire, both saving and endangering her life at the same time.

"Why would he tell them not to fire?" She frowns at the news, but she smiles when she takes a bite of the cake. "Didn't they notice I didn't want to go with him?"

"Your friend panicked. He didn't want them to shoot you on accident. He didn't quite remember the level of skill that our patrol guard have." I grow annoyed all over, and I have a hard time pushing it away. "He sent out whatever men he had available, but he was too distraught to do anything more. By the time anyone realized what was going on, Colton was long gone. I didn't find out until later that you'd been taken."

I relive that shitty moment all over again. My afternoon of work had come to a grating halt when Karl had walked into my office. He still could barely look me in the eye, and the rumor around the faction was he felt responsible for what had happened.

I hadn't bothered to correct him.

Everly keeps eating her cake, stopping only to interrogate me further.

"Was Karl sorry?" She looks up, holding her fork over the cake. "Did he try to help you…"

"I didn't need his help." I snap my answer, and I'm aware I sound obnoxiously defensive. But I didn't need Karl's help. I never would. "I knew where Colton was taking you, and I knew Evelyn wouldn't outright hurt you. She'd want you alive until she was done with whatever she was planning."

My words are mostly true.

We had guessed until we were right, and we'd taken a huge chance by assuming they wouldn't hurt her. But somehow, confessing I'd been forced to another faction, forced to wait until I could come back to Dauntless to start looking for her felt terrible to say out loud. I hated that I'd been stuck with Jeanine, and even her death hadn't made me feel all that much better.

Everly nods silently. She smashes the frosting down before looking back at me.

"I also knew you wouldn't be affected by the serum. At least not entirely." I stare at her, and I suddenly wonder how she felt when she woke up. I can still see him slamming her head against the wall, over and over, until she eventually went unconscious.

"I'm sorry about your head." I mutter, and I push the cake away from me.

"My head?"

"Colton bashed it into the wall in the hallway. Arlene said everything checked out alright. I can only imagine that Evelyn gave you something to help with the pain. Hopefully." I have no clue what Evelyn did to her. For the most part, her scalp had felt fine. I'd run my fingers over it a few times, never finding so much as a scratch.

Just like the last time her head was cracked open, she seems alright with it. "It feels fine. And I don't remember anyway." Her voice changes, sounding funny as it cracks at the end. There's a mental debate on her part, a struggle to remember anything, and I feel rotten all over again.

I still see Colton, carrying her out, and my intestines twist to the side.

"We'll talk about this later."

I leave her sitting there, staring at the cake in front of her, and I very badly want to find Colton and bash his head against the walls. Over and over, until there's not a speck of life left in him.

 

 

A day later, Max calls Jason, Rylan, and myself into a meeting.

I read the message while Everly gets dressed, and I swear loudly when he requests my presence in the next hour. I had planned on making breakfast for Everly, but Max is impatient to get back on track. I might be granted some exemption from work since Everly's return, but that didn't mean the work stopped. Erudite still needed a Leader, and Evelyn was still on the loose. None of that had gone away since Everly's return, and eventually, someone had to figure it out.

"Are you alright to eat with your friends? I'll walk you there and pick you up. They'll be happy to see you."

I lie through my teeth, but not because they won't be happy to see her. Because I know they both feel like shit, and it had made me better that they both felt like shit.

While I was hesitant to leave her on her own, I had few options. Jason and Rylan were in this meeting with me, and that meant Christina and Tris were realistically the only ones safe enough to leave her with.

"Um, sure." Everly turns around, and her eyes meet mine with a flash of apprehension. "Will they…want to eat with me?"

There's a nervousness to her question, and I hate that she feels that way.

"Of course they will." I snap as she walks over to me, and I suppose I should be relieved that today she has leggings on. She also has this shirt that's sliding off her shoulder, but it's better than her sundresses. "They've missed you. They're both…" I pause, and I do my best to think of a positive description of Christina and Tris. "Adequate."

"Adequate?" Everly's face scrunches up in confusion, and she tilts her head. "My friends are adequate? Compared to…my enemies?"

Her words make me smile, and my lips turn up before I can stop them. I do sigh heavily, because really, I can't think of anything that great to say about either of them.

"They're alright. They like you. Both were upset that you were taken from here. They're just not…my favorite people ever."

I say the last part through gritted teeth, and Everly smiles brightly.

"I can't wait to meet them."

"Fantastic." I answer, and she's close enough that if she were an Everly who could remember me, I'd lean down and kiss her. Since she's an Everly who can't remember me, I reach out and touch her elbow. We stand there for a second too long for it to go unnoticed, and I clear my throat as I let go of her.

This was turning out to be far harder than I ever imagined.

 

 

The meeting is as unorganized as ever.

It's led by Max, and his entire goal is to refocus us back on the issues at hand. The page he's printed out outlines everything he wants to go over. His first point -that Erudite is in a vulnerable state considering it has no leader, is glossed over, until Max snaps that we have to get moving on it.

The emails and considerations have poured in, and Rylan and I have both agreed to go over them. Jason has agreed to run background checks on all of them. Harrison agreed to hack into their emails and see what kind of dirt he could dig up on them.

Tori suggested a single name, and rolled her eyes when Max said it wasn't her decision.

His second point of topic is met with much more enthusiasm, but also the realization that we'll have to actively seek out Evelyn as our sole focus for taking down the factionless. Max skims over the fact that her soldiers have some training, thanks to Four, and he emphasizes the fact that the longer it takes us to find them, the more time they have to improve. I'm not entirely worried; they weren't anything I'd consider amazing as far as soldiers went, and I'd say some of them were having second thoughts about signing up to be in her army.

The meeting comes to a grinding halt when Harrison asks me how Everly is.

Every head in the room turns to me, including one very irritated looking Jason. He crosses his arms over his chest, and stares at me with enough anger that I'm tempted to look away. Almost.

I smile tightly at all of them, and I politely remind them she still can't remember anything. None of them seem overly surprised, but they do look confused when I say that hopefully it won't be permanent.

"What will you do if she doesn't remember?" Tori asks quietly, and everyone waits for my answer.

Truth be told, I have no clue what I'll do.

I can't imagine seeing Everly in Dauntless daily and having her not know who I am.

But if the serum doesn't wear off, and she doesn't magically fall back in love with me, it's a very strong possibility.

 

 

 

"She really doesn't remember?" Jason slides his chair all the way around the table, sliding to a halt when he crashes into mine. He then sits upright and looks over at Rylan. "Hey, are you leaving?"

"Not yet." Rylan types something on his tablet, then looks up expectantly. "Does she remember anything yet? Or is she still…"

"No, she doesn't remember." I roughly answer them, and I debate getting up and leaving. It was all I could focus on, and I'd done my best not to think of it every second of the day. All it does is remind me that my wife doesn't remember where she is, and I should probably go find her.

Like he can read my mind, Rylan shakes his head no.

"They're still eating. Christina just texted me. Don't go down there and drag Everly away just yet. They're filling her in on all the gossip."

"You think it'll wear off?" Jason does his best to look optimistic but it doesn't work. "By like…tomorrow?"

"Hopefully. I haven't heard anything back from Arlene yet." I tell him, and I lean back in the chair. "I'm assuming they injected her with their own version of the serum. Or made some changes to the one they had. Because it didn't work the way they hoped it would. She can remember new things, but nothing past being in Amity."

"Shitty. Who wants to remember Amity?" Jason mutters, and I have to agree with him. "Hey, uh where…where's she sleeping? In the guest room?"

"No. Where she always sleeps." I pull my phone out when I think it vibrates, and for once in my life, I hope it's Arlene. But it's not. It's no one, and I set the phone down in disappointment. "Why would she sleep somewhere else?"

"Um, well…you aren't that charming that women just want to sleep in your bed. Especially ones who can't remember you." When I look over at him, Jason is grinning, and I roll my eyes.

"She's just fine sleeping in my bed. It's like, she's close to remembering. Just…she hasn't yet." I ignore my defensiveness, and I glare at him. "Where does Meghan sleep when she comes over? On the floor?"

"Preferably, yes. Because she takes up the whole bed." Jason retorts, and Rylan snickers.

"I bet it'll wear off soon. They aren't that smart." He reminds us, and I nod.

He's right.

They weren't that smart, and I would relish every moment when I took them down.

"You guys want to get coffee before I go find Everly? Or are you heading down there to join in on their girl talk?" I glance at my watch, and I decide I'll give them another half hour. Long enough for them to finish eating, but not long enough for Christina to destroy the few nice assumptions Everly had made about me.

"Let's go. But I think we should pick a night to have dinner. All of us. You can reintroduce us to her." Jason jumps up, suddenly looking excited.

"Sure." I answer quickly. Rylan and I follow him, leaving the conference room quickly. I forget the papers Max had printed out for us, but I decide I'll come back for them later.

The things he'd printed out were important, but not important enough to skip my coffee.

 

 

In the morning, I take her to work with me.

She's distracting, because even though she might not be aware of who she was to me, I am. She sits far too close to me, her limbs always touching mine, and her fingers are desperate to be against my own. She stares, big eyes watching everything I do, and I do my best to make sure she knows I won't push her away.

Even though her close proximity is driving me insane.

The urge to touch her, to kiss her, to hold onto her, is all I can feel. It surges every time she leans back into me, including now, when I turn on my computer.

Her eyes widen when the picture of us pops up on my computer screen, and she touches my hand to stop me from clicking to another screen.

She stares at it for a long time, her smiling at the camera and me staring at her, until I eventually point out I have work to do.

 

 

Progress occurs in the smallest ways.

She sits on the counter while I cook dinner. Her bare feet rest against the cabinets, and she observes carefully while I cook the hamburger. I can feel her stare on me, pointed and curious as I flip the hamburger meat over. She'd been in a good mood since seeing the two of us on the computer screen, and we'd spent the afternoon doing nothing of any real importance. Once I'd started dinner, she'd wanted to help, and I'd smirked when she pushed herself up onto the counter.

I smirk now, when I realize she's staring at my arms with a fascinated look on her face.

"See something you like, Amity?"

I like the way her cheeks turn pink at being caught, and it solidifies my theory that on some cellular level, Everly knows me.

"Do you ever call me by my real name?" She asks. I find her entertaining, considering I'd called her Everly a few times now, but I like calling her Amity. When I look over at her, her exposed shoulder and her warm stare, she reminds me of Amity. She reminds me of my Everly, that she's still her, and this makes me undeniably happy.

It means it won't be long before everything is back to normal.

I stir the sauce so it won't burn, and I set the spoon down. Everly stays put, still sitting on the counter, still watching. I move over to stand in front of her, staring at her green eyes and her fair skin.

"Sometimes." I answer lowly, pleased when her cheeks stay pink. "Mostly at night."

"Funny." She answers, and her stare falls to my mouth. I wonder if she can remember sitting here, the very first time I'd kissed her, unable to stop myself. I wonder if she remembers the way I'd nearly mauled her, weeks of frustration eating away at me.

Just like now.

I take a step closer to her, until I'm right between her legs. She blinks, but she leans forward. "You seem to like it when I say your name, Everly."

I drop my stare to her lips, toying with the idea of kissing her right now.

But kissing her on my counters has never worked out in my favor, at least not the way I wanted it to.

"Do I call you anything? Other than Eric?"

Her words make me smile, and I shake my head. "Not that I'm aware of."

I keep my stare on her as I take a step back, and she looks lovelier than ever, if not a bit squirmy.

"Dinner's almost ready, Amity. You can set the table."

 

 

 

I take a shower after dinner.

Everly and I had eaten quickly, and I'd offered to let her pick out a movie. That was always a risk, and this Everly didn't know how gracious I was being. I'd told her I'd be back, and she'd looked enthused as she dug through the box of DVDs.

She wasn't there when I got out of the shower, and I assumed she'd found the movie she was looking for. I threw my boxers on, prayed it wasn't something with dinosaurs or warlocks, dried my hair with a towel, and went to get her. I'd have to tell her we'd watch the movie in my bedroom, and not out in the living room.

I find her on the couch.

She looks up as I walk over to her, and she smiles widely when I lean in to tell her the DVD player is in the bedroom.

To my surprise, she reaches for me, looping her arms around my neck and yanking me close to her. Before I can figure out what she's doing, her lips touch mine, warm and soft and oh so appealing.

Despite the loud protests from my brain, I give in, kissing her back immediately.

It feels absolutely blissful.

I'm sucked right back in, and my head swims with the realization that this is Everly. This is my wife, with her fingers sliding into my hair and her lips parting open. Pulling me toward her, closer and closer, until my shins bump the couch. Her nails dig into my scalp, and I realize that no matter how badly I want this, it isn't right.

No matter how nice it feels.

"I can't." I jerk away from her, retreating several steps. My leg bumps the corner of the table, and I do my best not to swear at the sharp burst of pain. "Not until you remember."

I stare at her for a moment longer, taking in her dark eyes and swollen lips, and I realize this is my own fault. Everly had never really had much self-control, and this Everly doesn't either. She looks visibly wounded, sinking back into the cushions in defeat, and crossing her arms over her chest at my rejection.

It only makes things worse.

I retreat to my bedroom, yanking on the first t-shirt I can find and a pair of pajama pants I hadn't worn in years. I then take a moment to call Arlene, snarling at her to give me an update on Everly's bloodwork. She snippily tells me there is none. It isn't back yet, but she hopes Everly and I are doing well. I hang up angrily in the middle of her talking, and I decide to cancel our movie night. She can read a book or something, since it's obvious neither of us will be able to lie in bed and actually watch the movie.

I return to the living room feeling both triumphant at Everly's actions and incredibly pissed off at Evelyn for ruining my life.

Everly must feel the same way.

She sulks on the opposite end of the couch for the rest of the night, occasionally throwing me a very put out glare.

 

 

Rylan calls on Wednesday morning.

He sounds whiny, but maybe it's because I'd taken the day off and he had to cover for me. I halfway listen to him, making sure I notice everything he's complaining about, and it's with great reluctance do I tell him he has to agree to going along with Harrison.

"Are you serious?" Rylan laughs, but he sounds far more cheerful than before. "Fine. I'll go on his stupid quest with him, but you owe me lunch. Jason, too. You've been neglecting us since your wife returned. In fact, you haven't even introduced us."

He emphasizes wife, and I emphasize the fact that while yes, Everly is back, it's not quite the same as if she'd returned with her own memories.

"Today." He declares, ignoring my silence.

I agree, but I hang up when Arlene calls.

I'd been waiting for this moment for what seemed like weeks. I answer immediately, and I can tell by the tone of her voice that the news isn't exactly what I'd like to hear. I listen carefully, and I sigh when she finishes telling me I'll just have to wait longer, but I'm lucky this wasn't any worse. She reminds me they could have injected her with all kinds of stuff, and their weak version of the memory loss serum wasn't all that bad.

"Fine. Thank you." I snap at her, and I refrain from hissing that if it wasn't so bad, maybe she should be injected with it.

I set the phone down and debate calling Daniel.

I hadn't seen him since being in Erudite, but I had the odd feeing I should tell him Everly was back. I didn't know why, seeing as how he'd never even met her. But he had offered to help, and he'd probably be relieved to know she was alive.

Then I think back to how crappy of a person he is, and I decide otherwise.

I head into the bedroom to relay Arlene's words to Everly, and I find her standing there, staring at the closet.

"She said it could take two or three weeks for you to remember everything. They found only minute traces of the serum in your blood stream. It means you've metabolized most of it." I announce the words as I walk in, and I squint at her when she idly rearranges her clothes. She shoves a pink shirt in between two black ones, then moves it back to its original spot.

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to put things in order. I thought it might help." She touches a dark shirt, then turns to face me. "I just want to remember now."

"Agreed."

Everly shuts the closet door, and she looks disappointed in the news. I wonder if she'd been waiting for it, or if she even remembered that there was chance the serum would be gone by now. "What if I don't ever remember? What if my memory doesn't really come back the way it's supposed to?"

I watch her carefully, noticing the way her shoulders bow with concern.

"I'm not worried about that." I lie through my teeth, because telling her otherwise would be pointless.

"But what if it happens?" She steps closer to me, and I can tell she doesn't believe me. I was half convinced of this myself, because I figured once it was out of her system, things would be back to normal. But I had no clue if that was true or not.

It could wind up being permanent, and if it did, I'd have to deal with it.

"Then I'll retrain you." I announce, and I like the idea. I have fond memories of the two of us training together, and maybe starting over would bring everything back.

Everly looks thoughtful as she stares up at me.

"As a Leader or as your wife?"

Her words make me smirk. "I never trained you to be my wife. You just kind of happened into that position all on your own."

Her own lips turn up, and she steps even closer to me. I tower over her, and it seems now more so than ever. "What do you mean by that?"

"It worked out rather well for the both of us." I answer quickly, hoping she'll move onto something else. This Everly was just as curious as the other one, and I'd gotten no reprieve from her constant questioning.

"Did we have a big wedding?" She asks curiously, changing the subject somewhat, and I decide I'm screwed.

There's no way of saying I married her without telling her that sounds as romantic and brilliant as it had at the time. I don't know how she'll take it, so I stall for time, shrugging my shoulders and looking over her. "Define big."

She scowls.

It's familiar and pretty and appropriate considering I'm not about to tell her how I married her.

"No more questions. We're going to Clyde's." I pause, and I reach for her hand. Her fingers are bare, and I decide they shouldn't be any longer. I reach into my pocket, having picked up the ring out of my drawer this morning, and I'd wondered when I should give it back to her. If I should have waited for some monumental occasion, or if she even knew she was missing it.

I decide now is just fine.

She's doing her best to adjust to life here, and this might help.

"Wait. Here." I lift her hand up and slide the wedding ring onto it. She stands perfectly still, watching as I follow with the band. The room is quiet as she stares at the rings on her finger, and her eyes blink a few times.

"Eric?" Everly looks up at me, and I bet she's about to ask me how I proposed to her.

I don't let her.

"Evelyn sent it back. Along with your clothes. It's why I thought you were…not coming back."

Saying I thought she was dead seems rotten, so I don't. I don't let go of her hand, either. I wonder if she'll remember how symbolic the rings were, or how I'd wanted her to have one that matched mine. That no one else in Dauntless wore one, and they'd definitely know she was married to me so long as she had it on.

She seems to understand the weight behind the sentiment.

She steps toward me, and her expression is a mixture of confusion and appreciation. I wish it were something else, like recognition or even the soft, sweet way she'd looked at me.

But it's not.

It's Everly, not remembering that I'd given her these rings on the night I'd wanted to tell her I loved her.

"I'm sorry I didn't find you sooner."

I say the words darkly, and my mood swings drastically. I find myself angry all over again, even as Everly stands right before me.

"I'm home now. That's all that matters."

Everly's words are quiet, but she has no clue how much they mean.

 

 

We join Jason and Rylan at Clyde's, and I regret this decision as soon as I see them.

They are both beaming with excitement, both at the return of Everly, and at the fact that they introduce themselves as someone else.

"Tell her your real name, dumbass. Her memory will be back in a few weeks. She'll remember that you introduced yourself as Bob."

I roll my eyes at Jason, who is still snickering at his own hilarity. I don't have the heart to tell him he's not that funny, nor will Everly think his name is Bob. On the walk down here, I'd told her who we were meeting, and I'd mentioned they were also friends of hers.

I used the word 'friends' loosely, seeing as how their obsession with her had started from the very first day they met her.

Jason stops laughing long enough to take a sip of his drink, and he sighs in defeat. He glances at Everly, noticing my arm is resting against the back of the booth, and Everly is right up against my side. They'd both eyed her critically while we walked in, looking for evidence of her lost memory.

To their disappointment, she looked the same.

"Fine. I'm Jason. This is Rylan. And for the record, we didn't really think you were dead." Jason announces loudly, and her stare moves over to me. "I even told Coulter here that we should hold off on the celebration until he was sure you weren't coming back."

Everly frowns at his words, and she looks up at me with an insulted expression on her face. "You had a celebration because you thought I was dead? Christina said you were a dick to everyone because I was gone. I thought she meant you were upset."

I can't deny what she's saying, but I do find myself frowning. I had already told her we'd celebrated her death, though I suppose it got lost in the whole -just found my wife who can't remember me but here she was in Amity this whole time- fiasco. "It's how we honor death here. We were celebrating the memory of your bravery. It wasn't an actual party."

She doesn't look impressed. "Did you come to look for me before you had my celebration?"

Her gaze drops from my face, down to the glass in front of her. I'd ordered for both of us, deciding she could have a soda. She was handsy enough as it was and taking home a drunk version of my amnesiac wife wasn't on my to do list.

But I suddenly wish I had ordered her something with alcohol in it. Something to burn away the pressing and hurt stare that was currently all over her face. I knew from the sporadic details I'd given her, that it seemed liked I hadn't bothered to go after her. But had she known what was going on, she maybe wouldn't feel so bad.

Plus, admitting that I'd nearly lost my mind while she was gone wasn't exactly a flattering story I wanted to share.

I shift in my seat, feeling the heated stares from both Jason and a silent Rylan, and I wait for one of them to come to my defense. When they don't, I stare at the table.

"I was with Jeanine. She called me to Erudite the night you were taken. I had to help Jeanine work on a few things. Once she let me leave, I came back here, but it took me a week to pull together enough evidence that her death could be justified to the other Faction Leaders." I take a few liberties here and there, and Jason and Rylan nod along in confirmation. "I knew you'd be alright for a minute. I'd taught you well enough to survive."

She's not pacified by it at all.

"You still could have come."

Her words sound tight and upset, and she has every right to be.

They still sting, and for the first time ever, Rylan glares at Everly. I can see him staring at her with a frown on his face, and he meets my eyes looking very defensive. I shake my head to reassure him it's fine; I knew that she'd feel like I'd left her to fend for herself, and I didn't have a better way of explaining it. My hands had been tied for most of it, and when I finally had the chance to take action, her things were sent back to me to imply her death.

The entire table is quiet.

Everly sinks against me, and I fight down the urge to push her away just a bit. I've never felt this way toward her before, but the fact that she thought I didn't want to find her is worse than anything. I'd promised I'd keep her safe. I'd told her I'd notice if she went missing. And in her mind, I'd done nothing but prove her right.

My phone beeps in my pocket, and for once, I welcome the distraction.

I glance at the name on the screen, and I decide I'll answer it.

"I'll be right back." I move my arm away from Everly, and I slide out of the booth quickly. I don't look back; I stalk out of Clyde's until I find a quiet enough spot, and I answer the call.

It's Daniel, and his voice is unusually stressed.

"I heard you were back in Dauntless. I just wanted to check in and see how you were doing. I heard…" He pauses, and my ear is filled with noise from the hospital. I hear someone muttering at him, and he does his best to manage two conversations at once, even though I'm not saying much. "I heard about Jeanine and I heard you were the…the one.'

"I'm alright." I answer loudly, irritated at someone else always distracting him. Even when he called me. "And yes, I was the one to execute her. She was found guilty in Candor, so it wasn't my own decision. But I am the one who brought her in to be put on trial."

"I see." Daniel answers, and his tone changes as he quickly orders someone to bring him a file. "She called me the day before you brought her in. She kept asking if my email was working. I was sure that she wasn't happy with you and that she was about to start something."

"Yeah." I watch a few members sneak past me with suspicious gazes. I narrow my eyes at them, and they scamper off without a word. "Had I not gone to Erudite, I'm sure you would have paid the price."

"Blythe is uh, understandably upset." Daniel offers up, but I have a hard time finding a speck of sympathy for her.

"I'm sure. Whose gonna run her life now?" I retort. "By the way, Everly's back. I found her."

"Where?" Daniel asks, but there's an announcement over the loudspeaker in the hospital. I can hear them announcing some code, and it's obvious he's walking somewhere. "She's alive?"

"Yeah. She's alive." I lean back against the wall, debating just how much to tell him, when my phone beeps to show that Max is calling. I quickly tell Daniel I'll call him later, but he doesn't hang up just yet.

"Can you come for dinner? I know things aren't great right now, but it might be good for us to all sit down. You could bring Everly. She might like to see Erudite."

He says the words in a rush, and someone yells his name in the background.

"I have to go. Just think about it." Daniel firmly suggests, and he hangs up before I can turn him down. I click over to talk to Max, and I catch him right before it sends his call to voicemail.

Luckily for me, he's in no mood to talk.

"Harrison has a location. We're planning on Friday. You'll need back up, so I suggest you bring a team with you. Have Jason and Rylan ready to go since they skipped out on Amity."

He hangs up without waiting for any commentary from me, and I'm fine with that. I feel oddly better after being out here, and I've almost forgotten that Everly was sitting at a table, thinking I'd left her to die at the hands of the factionless. I focus mostly on the idea that having a dinner with Daniel wouldn't be so awful. There was no way Blythe would show up, and there was no way she'd sit through a dinner after I'd executed her sister. But Daniel would be cordial and polite, and introducing him to Everly wouldn't be the worst thing ever. She wasn't going to know the first thing about him, but that might be for the best.

I walk back through Clyde's feeling lighter than I have in days. I slide back into my seat, noticing that Lucy has dropped off several plates of onion rings. Everly is watching as Rylan and Jason tear into them, each one eating as many as they can at once.

Everly looks up at me when I sit next to her, and I smile. Sort of. Then I look at my friends, still downing onion rings like they're going out of style, and I cock my eyebrow at them.

"Max says there's a chance that you'll both be needed on Friday. He says be prepared and he'll let you know Thursday night."

They nod, knowing full well this is good news. This means we're one step closer to finding Evelyn, and one step closer to getting my revenge on her. This perks me up considerably, and I sling my arm back around Everly.

She immediately sinks back into me, pushing herself closer until there is no space left between us. She stays there while we eat dinner, her tiny frame dwarfed by me, and she lets her head rest on my chest as I wait to pay for dinner.

She's quiet the entire time, and when we leave after dinner, she holds onto my hand tightly. I feel her grasp it as we walk through Clyde's; her fingers grasp my wrist first, then her palm touches mine as she presses it flat.

Her fingers slide through mine without any hesitation, and I wonder if this is some sort of unspoken apology for earlier.

Everly doesn't owe me one.

But I don't let go of her hand, not even when we walk past Four.

He stares at her from the bar, his skin pale and grey, and his eyes wide with disbelief.

 

 

She attacks me in my own bedroom.

I sit on the bed, doing absolutely nothing. I'd undressed after dinner, deciding I was tired. Going to bed was the most appealing thing I could think of, almost as appealing as the sight of Everly in front of me. She wanders over toward me dressed in something she'd worn before, and it's painful to see her like this.

The nightgown is soft and pretty, and it ends at the top of her thighs. It's much shorter than anything she's had on so far, but this one stays in place while she heads over to me. I take in the sight of her lazily; she walks confidently, and the expression on her face hints that she wants to tell me something.

I have the sudden urge to leap up off the bed.

"I saw them you know."

I look at her curiously, and I have no clue what she's talking about. "Saw what?"

She hesitates right next to the side of the bed. She eyes me warily, probably assuming I'm not in the mood for some drawn out discussion, and she's right. But that doesn't stop her. She climbs onto the bed, pausing to carefully readjust her balance, before she settles right onto my lap.

I wait to see what she does next, both amused at her bravery and slightly terrified at what she has planned. Her nightgown shifts up higher as she makes herself comfortable, and I work hard to keep my stare on her face.

"The fireworks. I saw them when I was in Amity." She's awfully close to me now. I'd spent days having her back, struggling with the inability to touch her the way I wanted to. Now she's inches away from me, her eyes examining my face. I look back at her, and I wonder how on Earth she saw them.

But she had to have seen them.

Or she wouldn't know that we'd lit them off.

"Did you?" My answer is flat, but she's warm and soft on my lap, and she keeps shifting closer. "I guess we had excellent timing then."

To my surprise, she laughs.

Not meanly, but in this entertained way, like the thought that I'd do such a thing was surprising.

"Thank you." She reaches for me, resting one hand on my shoulder. The other touches the skin right above my collarbone. Her fingers graze over it lightly, skimming where the tattoos on my throat stop. "I wish you knew I was out there."

I don't answer her. She has no clue how badly I wished the same. How badly I wished I'd found her so much earlier. How much I'd missed her.

She grows braver, the Everly I know slowly emerging as her fingers slide into my hair and she shifts herself even closer. So close she's barely an inch away from me, and I can't ignore the painful flash of arousal as she squirms on top of my thighs.

"How long have we been married?" She asks, and my fingers find her waist. I dig them in, fully prepared to toss her to the side.

"Get off of me." I snap at her, and I do my best to sit up and knock her away. She holds on tightly, refusing to move.

"What? Why!?" Her fingers dig into my hair, and she leans forward, using her weight to keep me in place.

"Are you sure you don't remember being here?" I bark at her, suddenly incredibly thrown off. "This is your favorite thing to do. You decide you want to ask me something, and I find you in my lap, wiggling all over the place."

She chews on the side of her lip, and she shakes her head no. Her face falls, and I can tell she's being honest. "No, I still don't remember. Not yet."

I close my eyes.

I had hoped that maybe she remembered. Even just a little. One or two things. Enough that she found the shortest and skimpiest pajamas she had, and enough that she thought it was smart to climb in my lap and ask me all her burning questions.

"Eric?"

"Fine. You will. We can talk about our marriage then." I open my eyes and she's there, but I can't look at her. It feels so unfair that she doesn't remember, and even worse that I'm running out of patience that she doesn't.

If she can tell, it doesn't bother her. She doesn't give up.

Not at all.

"Are you happy being married to me?" She asks, and my stare returns to her. "Can you just answer that and then I'll go to bed?"

She smiles up at me, her face sweet and innocent and I scowl at her.

She might not remember, but it doesn't matter.

She's still Everly.

"One question, Amity."

"Do you love me? Will you, even if I don't get my memory back?" Her voice changes. She sounds hopeful, and I suddenly realize I'm not the only one feeling shitty about this. I can tell by the way she holds onto me, her fingers sliding down to my neck and her legs still on either side of me, that this is important to her. That even though her memories are gone, she still wants her and I to be okay, just as badly as I do.

"Please." She asks again, quieter, but more serious.

"That's two questions, and not the one I agreed to answer." I scowl at her little trick to get me to answer everything. She doesn't seem to mind the scowl; she slides her other hand into my hair, and her palms rest on my cheeks. She shifts closer, and her forehead touches mine for a fleeting moment.

"Eric." She says my name softly, and it sounds completely different coming from her. I've heard her say it so many ways. Groaned. Whispered. Giggled.

But this is a quiet plea, and I give in.

"Yes."

"Yes?" She asks, and she's completely pressed up against me. My own hand moves off her waist, moving upward, until it's on her back, pressing her right into my chest. The other toys with her hair, twisting a few of the dark strands around my finger.

"Are you going to sleep now?" I ask her. My voice is serious, and I narrow my eyes when she leans in.

Her forehead touches mine, and her fingers tighten.

"In a minute."

She has other plans.

Everly is just as brave as before.

Her fingers find my jaw, and she pulls my head toward her. Were she anyone else, I'd have launched her right onto the floor and told her to knock it off. That this was unnecessary; I'd ride this out with her as long as it took, but right now, this is more than enough.

It is too much.

But she doesn't stop. She inhales deeply, and her nose touches mine.

I'm surrounded by her. By her hair falling around me, the scent of her shampoo the only thing I can smell, and her warm little body as close as possible. I can feel her heart beating quickly, speeding up as she closes the distance between us, and I feel my eyes slip shut.

"Go to bed, Amity."

My lips touch hers.

This isn't like the hurried, frantic kiss in the living room. It's slow and purposeful. Soft and warm, as I forget I'd decided I wasn't going to kiss her until she remembered. She stays perfectly still, graciously allowing me the time to shove her away a second time, but I don't. I can't. She kisses me harder, her lips pressing firmly against my own, until my fingers knot in her hair. Until she knows that I want her. I grasp the soft strands tightly, holding her in place as her lips part just enough.

I kiss her for a long time.

Until one of the straps of her nightgown has been pushed down, and the bottom is bunched up around the tops of her thighs. Until my skin has grown hot, until she's mumbling my name as I sink my teeth into her neck.

Until eventually, I break away because if I don't, I won't be able to stop myself.

Or her.


	30. Once More With Feeling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Almost Friday!  
> I'm glad everyone seemed happy with Eric and Everly's reunion! Thank you so much to the most wonderful Bamberlee for editing such a long chapter, then for turning around and editing this one. 
> 
> I hope everyone has a great weekend! I figured I'd get this up now, since it's probably Friday somewhere ;)

I kiss her, until it's been long enough.

It's never actually long enough, but if she stays on my lap much longer, I'll be the one with no self-control. And as appealing as all this is, I wouldn't feel right if this went any further before she could remember.

But Everly isn't at all bothered by her lack of memory. I feel her push herself even closer, until her legs are almost all the way wrapped around my waist, and that's when I break away from her. I push myself back, groaning at the loss of her lips against mine. Even that minute absence of touching her is physically painful, but so is the erection I've been fighting since the second she slid on top of me.

"You need to get off me. Right now."

I have to grit my teeth to get the words out at her. She's warm and soft, the ultimate allure as my fingers dig into her side and wrinkle the fabric of what she has on. I silently curse whoever designed such a thing, something so short and sweetly flimsy. If she put it on to get her way, it was working. I had half a mind to pull it up over her head, just to feel her naked skin against mine.

But I had to stop because this wasn't right. Eventually, Everly would remember, and I'd have no good reason for sleeping with my wife when she couldn't remember she was my wife.

Even if she was the one instigating things.

"Eric…" She whispers my name, so softly I almost don't catch it, but it sounds absolutely normal. It's her, speaking it the exact same way she's uttered it before. Like it's something just between the two of us and not anything anyone else used.

I slide my fingers out of her hair and back down to her waist, and it takes everything in me to mostly gently push her to the side of me. She looks surprised, but her expression turns to sulky defeat when she realizes I'm not joking. I close my eyes tightly, and I push the heel of my palm against them until I see a kaleidoscope of colors. I can still feel her sitting on me. I can smell her shampoo. I can feel the want radiating off her, even if it's nothing more than her wanting me to be okay with this version of her.

And I am.

Sort of.

"It's you, but it's not you." I mumble, and I move my hands away to open my eyes.

She looks disappointed, and I share in that same feeling. I am okay with the Everly in front of me, but it's like a cruel joke when she looks identical to the one taken from me.

"I'm still me." She very gently points out, but her own gaze is down in front of her now. She traces the comforter with her fingers, and I can only stare at her. At her bare skin, her legs splayed out beneath her, her dark hair spilling down over her shoulder.

"I know."

My answer isn't reassuring to her at all.

She looks up with a woeful expression, and her frustration is clear as day.

 

 

I wake up to her back against my chest.

We'd gone to bed not long after I'd stared at her and tried to silently reassure her that everything was fine. That if she could just make it through a few days, perhaps the serum would wear off and all of her memories would come rushing back. But until that happened, nothing would happen. I roughly kissed her forehead, violently climbed beneath the covers, and laid there until both of us fell asleep.

She went to bed not touching me, but I wake up to find that even in her sleep, she'd made her way back to me. The feeling of her is unfairly familiar. It's getting easier every day, though it pains me to admit I keep waiting for her to not be there. To open my eyes to an empty bed, to cold sheets and nothingness. I feel a wave of guilt when I do open my eyes to her fingers curled into the dark sheets, or sometimes my chest.

She has no issues sleeping as close as possible to me, and I can only hope it's not long before she remembers.

"Doyouhavetogetup?"

She mumbles the words into the pillow, but she keeps herself right against me, pushing back when she thinks I'm leaving. She's quickly caught on that I'll stay in bed if she asks and she's quickly learned to use it to her advantage.

"No, not today. Not if you don't want me to."

I answer her lowly, letting my head fall forward until it rests against the back of hers. I feel gluttonous as I take each of these moments and draw them out. I have plenty of work to do. Plenty of emails I could respond to, plenty of routes I could analyze, and plenty of soldiers I could make sure are working where I want them.

Instead, I choose this.

I choose to lie in bed with Everly, feeling like I've earned it. Feeling like this is more important than reading Quinten's latest demands or Harrison's latest forwarded chain email so he doesn't die in seven days.

I stretch my arm further over Everly until I reach her hands. I uncurl them from the sheets they're clutching, and I slide my fingers through hers. There is no resistance on her part. She immediately sinks against me, sleepily mumbling 'good' before falling back asleep instantly.

If I didn't know better, I'd swear nothing had happened.

 

 

She wakes me up by tracing her fingers up my neck.

I open my eyes to her hovering over me, and I blink when she shifts back, realizing I'm awake. I don't know if it's out of fear that I'll snap at her, but I'm sure the expression on my face isn't pleased.

The dreams of her being gone were still there, still as real as ever, still as shitty.

"Sorry," she apologizes, but her fingers don't move. They stay on the black ink, pressing gently as she leans back in. "I didn't want to wake you up, but I had an idea."

"What is it?" I ask, groggily and suspiciously, and rightfully so. I had no clue what she could possibly have dreamt up. Her knowledge of Dauntless was limited to the things I'd shown her, and I'd only shown her a fraction of what she'd known before Colton took her.

"In Amity, they said you trained me, right?" She pauses, and her fingers tilt my jaw up the slightest. She looks at where the tattoos stop, and only when she lets go, do I nod.

"Yeah."

"Maybe…maybe you could do that again. You could show me what you did before." She smiles brightly, pleased at her plans even as I squint at her.

"You want me to train you again?" I repeat, making sure I've heard her correctly. "Like an initiate? I made you get up at four thirty in the morning to train."

"Okay, well not that part." Her fingers leave my jaw, and she scoots closer. "Just whatever we were doing before. Maybe if you train me it'll help me remember."

I stare up at her green eyes and she's dead serious. She waits patiently for my answer, sitting back on her heels and staring at me.

"I have to go into work for a bit, but after that, I'll take you." I agree slowly, still not entirely awake.

She smiles in triumph, and I hope she's on to something. Maybe this will spark something in her, or maybe today will be the day the serum wears off.

 

 

Hours later, I stand behind her, regretting this decision.

Everly looked like Everly, but never more so than when she was dressed in the same dark clothes that she'd worn during her initiation. The ones Christina had taken her to buy. My hands hold onto her waist, digging into her hips and ignoring my brain cheerfully reminding me that she looked just like she had before. Her hair was pulled up into a ponytail, and her tank top was not weather appropriate. I'd thrown her jacket at her, and we'd arrived on the rooftop without much fanfare.

"Hold still."

I lean into her, and my lips graze against the outer edge of her ear. She does her best to stay still against me, but it's not easy. She's pinned against my chest, my legs are on either side of hers, and she leans back into me more than she should. But I don't push her away. I let her, though I sound irritable when I adjust her. "To the left."

Everly listens. She takes note of what I'm telling her, and she aims the gun right at the target. It's heavy in her hands and the dark metal is shiny against her pale skin, but she holds it like she's done this before.

Because she has.

"Whenever I'm ready?" She asks quietly, and I nod.

The rooftop is deserted except for Everly and me. I could have started by having her train downstairs, but I wasn't about to have her training alongside the class she'd been working with. It felt wrong on every level, so I'd brought her up here. Rifle training was something she'd been good at, and just like before, it was an excuse to have her pressed up against me.

"Do you think I would have shot Colton if I had a gun?" Everly asks, right after she pulls the trigger. She's knocked back into me just enough that she falls back against my chest. I don't move; I catch her, relishing in the fact that we'd been here once before. She stays there, and I lean forward when the target stops moving, nodding against her hair.

There is no doubt in my mind that had she been armed, Colton wouldn't have made it out of Dauntless alive.

The thought of her being taken fills me with a rage I did not anticipate all over again.

"Again, Amity."

It's her turn to nod, even as I forcibly place distance back between us, and she steps forward. The feeling of her moving away from me is disconcerting, but I ignore it. She resumes her stance, aims the gun, and fires again.

She hits the target over and over, dead center.

 

 

She shoots until she's had enough.

It's clear to the both of us that deep down inside, she is still herself. Her aim was spot on, she barely needed my help, and it was an obvious excuse for both of us to touch each other. I'd not bothered to pretend otherwise, and after a while, neither had she.

We walk back in together, and we near a small group of members lingering in the hallway. It's not unusual for them to be hanging out here; they've clearly come in from a patrol, and most are still armed as they discuss their route. Their chatter dies down as we near them, and I immediately notice Karl watch Everly with narrowed eyes.

He avoids my stare completely.

I feel smug when he keeps his gaze glued to her. It's both curious and relieved, and though there's no official announcement of her return, it's worked its way through select sections of members.

Including his.

He watches as we get closer to him and his friends, and I notice his black eye looks less bruised today. I'd done a number to his face, yet no one had batted an eye when he turned up for work looking like death warmed over. As the supervisor on patrol when she was taken, he'd made a huge mistake in telling them to hold their fire. He'd let Colton get away with her, and some would argue, given him enough of a head start that we couldn't catch up.

Ironically, I understood.

His hesitation stemmed from fear, and this time- his fear was out of his control. He'd watched his friend, the girl he'd liked from the start, being kidnapped in front of him, and he'd reacted by trying to protect her. It was a variable of being a new soldier, a mistake anyone could have made, and not something he could have corrected in the amount of time he'd had.

It didn't make it any better.

Still, he manages the barest of smiles when she waves, and because she is Everly, she wants to talk to him.

"Can you wait until you remember him?" I stall but she looks up at me with a grin. "You won't remember that he was out there, and I don't really want to get into this all over again."

She looks like she's trying not to laugh at the expression on my face.

"I'll just say hi. That's all. I won't ask him about his face."

I roll my eyes when she walks toward him, and his hesitation is immediate as she approaches the group. He looks right at me, waiting to see what I'll do, waiting to see if I'll call her back over to me. He's assuming I've told her the worst about him, but I hadn't. I'd given her the bare facts, that his error had been an honest mistake, and he'd paid for it.

I nod at him.

While I will never forget what he did, I'm not stupid enough to continue to punish him for it.

I watch her talk with Karl, eventually evoking the most reluctantly relieved smile, and I want to tell him to relish it.

She might not feel so kindly when she can actually remember.

 

 

 

"Well?" Rylan drops into the chair next to me, and his expression is as cheerful as ever. "Did she-"

"No." I cut him off, focusing on the papers in front of me. The names are a blur of credentials and awards and prestigious events that I don't give a shit about. But if I don't get started on them, Erudite will never have a leader. "She doesn't remember. Don't you think I would tell you if she did?"

"Rude. I was going to ask if she enjoyed meeting us." Rylan pretends to look hurt, and he struggles to open up the oddly shaped carton he's brought with him. "I never got a report back on that."

I look at him slowly, taking great pains to answer as nicely as I can. "Oh, I'm so sorry. I forgot that was of the utmost importance. Let me call her and ask her exactly how much she enjoyed meeting you two again."

"What about me? What did she say about me?" Jason takes the seat beside him, and he also has a carton. His is labeled with his name, and that's it. "Does she know I have supported the idea of you two from day one? Even though I found her to be uncomfortably small for you."

"Are you two in preschool?" I ignore the both of them until I can't. "What's with the juice?"

"Harrison made it. He brought one in for you, too." Rylan announces, and he slides another carton at me. "It's orange juice. It tastes slightly weird, but not too bad."

"I'm not drinking that." I slide it right back at him, and he grins when it slides right off the table.

"He's going to be crushed. He worked hard to…uh, juice the oranges."

"I don't care." I snap, and I look up just as Four walks in. He surveys the room quickly, then sits down across from us. He looks like he'd rather be anywhere but here, and for once, I share his sentiment. "What the fuck do you want? Why are you in here?"

"I need to talk to you." He answers, and he throws a dirty look at Rylan. "Alone."

"Wow, hi to you too, Four." Rylan answers, looking put out for the second time. "Here, I brought you this juice for you to drink. You look a little thirsty."

He reaches down to pick up the now dented carton of juice, and Four looks over at him with more patience than expected.

"I'm good, thanks. And I uh, need to talk to Eric about Everly."

"Anything you can say to Eric, you can say to us." Rylan points out and he props his feet up on the table. "Besides, you aren't really in the place to be making any sort of demands, now are you?"

Rylan smirks at me, and I find myself smiling back.

He was right.

Four had no grounds to ask anything of me, let alone did he deserve to be given any special treatment. Nor did I want to sit in here with him alone.

"Spill it. I don't have all day." I gesture for him to speak, and he dares to look irritated.

"I wanted to know…" he pauses, either for dramatic effect or because he's still thinking about what he was going to say. "I wanted to see when Everly would be returning to train the initiates."

"Feeling overwhelmed without her?" I sneer at him.

"No." He answers immediately. "I thought maybe she was ready to come back."

"She's not." I bark, and I still can't bring myself to find anything positive about his presence. He may have apologized. He may have practically offered to turn his mother over to us the second he could. And he may have done everything he could to help us find her, but it would never be enough. For someone who fancied himself to have such high morals and standards, he was no better than me helping Jeanine. "You seem to be doing fine on your own with the class. Did you get used to her doing your work? Is that why you want her to return?"

Jason snickers into his orange juice.

Four frowns, and his stare falls to the table. He examines the dented carton in front of him, then looks up. "No. I heard she was back. I was very happy to see she was alive. I uh, I was hoping they'd leave her alone but at least-"

"They didn't leave her alone." I start, and the anger builds much faster this time while I think of Everly, with the factionless. With his mother. "They wiped her memory. She might be alive, but she can't remember anything."

"What do you mean?" His stare is startled, and Rylan tilts his head in mock confusion.

"Wait, hold up. Are you trying to tell us you didn't know what they were cooking up behind the scenes? You must have known your mommy was doing her best to become the next Jeanine by experimenting with the serums. Don't play dumb."

Four's mouth snaps shut. He shakes his head at me, as though I'm the one personally responsible for his feelings and I should make Rylan be quiet.

"No, I wasn't aware of that. I already told you. I helped her train them to fight. That's it. When I got wind of what she really wanted, I stopped. None of that was what she had originally told me. I knew helping her train them was a risk, and I fully accept what happened."

"Oh, you accept it. That's nice." I stand up, and this time, Everly's face flashes in front of my eyes. But not the Everly from before, an Everly who was staring up at me with a frustrated look because she couldn't remember who I was. "I'm glad you've come to terms with it."

"No, Eric…I…" He also stands up, and Rylan jerks his feet off the table as he realizes this isn't about to end well. "I never wanted this to happen. I only told them about her because I was telling them about you. I never said for them to go after her. They knew if they wanted an alliance, they had to go through you. I guess that's how they felt they were going to get to you. I wasn't there for any of that."

His words spill out like Karl's, quick and desperate and I don't care. His defense is weak and useless, but it reaffirms the fact that he did tell his mother about Everly. That my name and her name came up, and in his mind, this was the perfect in to getting what they wanted.

I may have had Everly back, but until she remembered every single detail about her time here, it wouldn't be the same.

"You never should have mentioned her at all. But let's be real, you wanted her away from me from the start." I remind him, and Jason sits up straighter. "You told her to be careful. You forgot to mention she should be careful around you, too."

This time, Four exhales sharply.

"Look, you're misunderstanding. I just wanted to see when she'd be back. I thought maybe she'd like to come and help. Maybe it'll help things get back to normal around here. You can't keep her in your apartment forever."

I can barely see straight. I look at him, but it's like he's not there. It's like I'm staring at the Four who first came here, thinking he knew better than everyone. I had hated him the first day I saw him. His scrawny self, trying to blend in. Thinking he was so brave because he had escaped his past, when really, everyone else was doing the same thing.

I hated him now.

I'd hate him forever.

"You can't keep her in the dark her entire time here. She'll figure things out eventually." Four keeps going, and I've had enough.

"You're right." I answer smoothly. "I should tell her everything you did. Starting with the part where you sold her out to save yourself."

"I never-" Four starts, but I'm done. Done with the physical proof of why Everly couldn't remember me, standing right in front of me. Pretending he was innocent when he most certainly wasn't.

"Fuck you."

I hiss it as I head for him. He's not all that far away from me, and his eyes widen as I rear my arm back. Maybe it's because we're in the office, but he's clearly not expecting me to hit him. Again. I punch him on the side of his head, and much like last time, he reacts a second too late. He does his best to shove me back, but I'm angrier than he is.

In fact, I'm so angry I can barely see straight.

I suppose this was bound to happen sooner or later. My frustration at Everly being gone had peaked at the time of her death, and now my frustration at her memory loss had reached the moment where I couldn't handle it anymore.

I hit him again, and it feels just as good.

He backs up as I prepare to really let him have it, and I try to remember that eventually, Everly would have her memory back, and she'd return to working with him. Eventually, he'd have to confess to her what he did. How he was involved, even if he hadn't known what his mother was planning.

She'd have to deal with that on her own terms.

But he and I, we'd have to deal with this, too.

I decide to do it now.

I'd already hit him in the hallway, and this time feels just as vindicated. The relief is all consuming as his skin turns red and his cheek is bruised by the time Rylan shoves himself between us. To my surprise he shakes his head no, and Jason forgets about his orange juice and pulls my arm to drag me back a step.

"Okay, you got to hit him. If there was any lingering doubt about how you felt, it's gone. But for the sake of Everly…" Rylan pauses, and Four rubs at his head. "Can we put this aside? Four has agreed to help us. Killing him won't do anything."

"He helped them. He told them her name and who she was." I spit, and Jason pulls on my arm again.

"Don't make me get Harrison. He's been holed up in his office with the door locked and no one wants to go interrupt him. Just…let it go. Everly isn't going back tomorrow." Jason becomes the voice of reason as he works hard to make sure I don't murder Four, and I bite down on the side of my cheek hard enough to taste blood. "Use Four. Use him against his own mother. He said he'll help us, and if he double crosses us…again…then you can kill him. No one will prosecute you for that. Even Max will agree."

Four doesn't look happy at that news.

Which makes me happy.

"Fine." I answer loudly, and I jerk my arm away from Jason. "You so much as look in the wrong direction, and you're dead. You got it?"

"Yeah, I got it." Four snaps, and I'd punch him again, but Rylan shakes his head. "I was trying to help. I just thought Everly might want to know how they're doing. She liked working with them."

"She doesn't even remember how to get to the training room." I snarl, but I manage to compose myself. "I'm sure Christina and Tris will fill her in on what she was doing. When she's ready to talk to you, and if she ever wants to talk to you, then it'll be on her terms."

My voice echoes in the small room, and Four has no choice but to stand there, until he nods in reluctant agreement. Rylan lets go of him, and Four steps away quickly. He looks right at me, composing himself the best he can.

"Just so you know, I didn't know she was planning on kidnapping Everly. I told you, they wanted you."

"If that's true…" I pause, and I hold his stare. "Then they won't be happy that she's alive. Which means they'll be back for me and for you. For your own sake, your best course is to tread lightly, number boy."

To his credit, he presses his lips together and stays quiet. He throws Rylan a look of gratitude for stopping me from ripping his head off, then he leaves -slipping out of the room without another word. For a moment, Jason, Rylan and I stand there staring at each other, until Jason points at the table.

"He forgot his juice."

Rylan bursts out laughing, and I flex my fingers. I can't help but feel like I should have done more. Made him really pay for what he'd done. But that thought vanishes when Rylan sits back down.

"Forget him. I've got multiple sources watching him. He can't do shit without us knowing about it. I'll order us lunch and let's look through these emails. I'm sure we'll have some interesting candidates in here. Maybe even someone we know."

"Alright." I take the same seat as before, and so does Jason.

I have half a mind to log into the security system and watch where Four goes. But I decide to give him the benefit of the doubt. I'll let him ruin it for himself all over again. I focus back on the name on the first email, squinting at it when I realize the man is a friend of Daniel's. The next hour flies by, but by the time we're done, we're still no closer to finding Erudite a new leader than before.

I stand up with a head that hurts just as much as my fist.

 

 

I make Rylan call Christina.

We get stuck in the office when Max slams down a stack of battle plans in front of us. He sinks into the empty chair and shoves a black marker at me before opening up the first map.

"Mark the routes you want to take. We're trying to plan who's going where. Harrison said he'll go with you on whichever one you pick."

I inwardly groan, and I grouchily tell Rylan to call Christina. I had planned to go find Everly and go home, but I have no chance with Max actually working.

Of course, Christina happily agrees to keep an eye on Everly, and I reluctantly tell Rylan to inform her Everly had a keycard to the apartment. I hear her shriek of excitement, and she promises to keep him posted if they do anything.

The thought of Christina being there alone with Everly makes me itchy, but I have no choice.

I mark off route after route, until there's no possible way we won't find Evelyn.

 

 

I return home to an overly excited Christina and a smiling Everly.

I suppose I should be thrilled that they got along just fine. Or that Everly is still alive, now with shiny pink nails and a happy look on her face.

Instead, I nastily throw Christina out, telling her she can come back never, and I realize that for once, I am too tired to make dinner.

 

 

It's the darkest part of the night when I wake up unable to breathe. It takes a second for me to realize I'm fine but sucking air into my lungs is nearly impossible. It hurts, but not as much as the sight of Everly being gone, and I gasp her name as my fingers fumble for hers. I find them, realizing she's right there, and she's been sound asleep beside me this whole time. Warmed by myself and the heavy sheets, unaware of the fear racing through my veins. I jerk my hand away from her as a wave of nausea hits, and the motion wakes her up.

"Are you ok?" She mumbles, and she moves to push her hair out of her eyes.

"Yeah." I rub my eyes to get rid of the dream that won't leave me alone. I can still see it, still see her, gone from my life just like she was. I look over, half expecting her to disappear any second. But she doesn't. She looks concerned, and her lips turn down when she realizes I'm not alright. "You just…weren't there. Again."

Her lips part to say something, but I don't want to talk about this. Having her back should be enough, but I couldn't shake the nightmare of losing her all over again. It's worse than any simulation or fear landscape, worse than anything I'd experienced before, because it happened. Right here. In our home, right in front of my face.

The thought becomes overwhelming, or maybe it's her fingers touching mine, but I shove the covers off me. I climb out of bed just as she says my name, and I take off into darkness. I head toward the kitchen, pausing there until I can breathe normally. My lungs relax as the nightmare fades, and I grab a glass from the cabinet. Water isn't appealing but doing something trivial to remind myself she's alive and fine helps me remember that it was just a dream. That this is reality, and Everly hasn't gone anywhere.

I stand there staring at the water, debating dumping it out when I realize she's followed me out here.

"Eric." She says my name softly, painfully like her old self, and my shoulders tense up.

"Go back to bed, Everly." I snap at her, and she does the exact opposite. She walks up beside me, and her hand finds my arm. Her touch is warm, and I wish she'd leave me alone so I can deal with this by myself. "I said…"

"Did you have a nightmare?" I'm inclined to think she's ignoring me on purpose, but her words are soft and sweet and heavy with worry. Her fingers slide up to my forearm, and she does her laughable best to pull me toward her. "Are you alright?"

I stare at her, and I want to tell her just how not alright I am. How I'd acted while she was gone. How I'd lost my mind, thinking it was because of me this had happened. Even now, I can't help the wave of guilt that builds up, then crashes down into defeat when she frowns even further. She looks like she's thinking of something that she's forgotten, something so close that it's infuriating that it's gone, and it makes my heart sink.

I stare at her, her tiny self barely coming up to my chest, and her fingers curl into my arm as she looks up at me.

Her defeat is as heavy as my own.

"I'm fine." I mutter at her. I turn to face her, and she's close enough that I nearly bump into her. "It started a day after you left. I thought it would go away after you were back." I hadn't meant to say anything of the sort to her, and it feels shameful to admit I've been affected the way I have. I can't remember a time in my life when I was concerned for anyone else, or when I'd nearly gone mad with a grief I'd never known.

I expect her to laugh at this. That I, the Leader of Dauntless and most untouchable person in the faction completely fell apart while she was gone. That I wasn't as strong or as brave as I thought I was, and she was witnessing me unravel right in front of her.

But Everly thinks no less of me.

She nods her head, and her hand leaves my arm and finds my waist. It only takes her a second to close the space between us, and the feel of her is enough. I act without thinking. I lean into her, encircling my own arm around her back, until she's warm and soft against me. She presses her head against my chest, falling quiet until my grip on her is tight.

"I should have tried harder to get away. Then I could have been back here sooner." She whispers the words into the darkness, and they're gone as soon as she says them. I shake my head no, because really, she might have died trying to get away. She was smart to stay put, and she'd survived. Not many people would have.

"No." I answer thickly, but I'm not sure I actually say it. I think of her there, alone, and my lungs constrict again.

"Are you going to kill Evelyn?" She lifts her head off my chest, tilting it up to look at me. She changes the subject slightly, but I don't care. She looks hopeful, despite her peaceful upbringing, like she knows this won't be pacified by forgiveness.

"Do you want me to kill Evelyn?" I want to smile at her, because the words are ridiculous coming out of her mouth. She is absolutely beautiful, even frowning, even standing half dressed in my kitchen. I move my free hand to touch her cheek, grateful she's here, and I push her hair back off her shoulder, grateful for the ability to touch her. "You've asked me this before you know. Not about Evelyn specifically. But about killing others."

"I have?" She holds my stare, and her internal debate on how to keep me talking is obvious. "Did you do it?"

I allow myself this. I'd spent so much time wanting Everly back, that I'd downplayed how it felt to have her back. I'd neglected to take the time to notice how soft her skin is. How silky her hair is. How tiny and pretty she is when she is asking me to murder someone for her.

How much I like these moments just as much as the others.

"I killed Jeanine. I was the one who pushed for her to be executed, and then I performed the execution." I announce, and I wait to make sure she doesn't flinch away from me when she realizes I'll do whatever she asks me to. "The night you were taken I was called to Erudite. She said she was sorry you were gone, but that I had work to do. To not forget who helped put me in my position here. Then she offered me a replacement wife when I completed her assignment."

She might not remember she was my wife, but Everly looks ill at the last part of my words.

I wait until she's looking right at me, and I swallow. "I've learned to live with her blood on my hands. If you want me to kill Evelyn, I won't hesitate. But you may want to talk with Four about your plans. He knows the best way to really get to Evelyn, and I have a feeling it's something more painful than her dying."

Everly contemplates what I've said, and after a few seconds, she nods her head.

"Thank you." She answers, and she rises up on her toes. Her arms reach around my neck, tugging me down toward her until she's as close as she can get. "Now can you come back to bed? I promise I won't go anywhere."

Her words are the respite that I need.

I nod, bending my head down without thinking, and I kiss her. My lips touch hers for the briefest of seconds before I'm unable to stop.

"Good."

I yank her against me, kissing her soundly, until I'm certain even if she never remembers, it won't matter. I'll kill Evelyn for her. I'll kill Four if he tries to stop me. I'll kill anyone who tries to get in between Everly and I ever again.

I kiss her until my fingers are knotted in her hair. Until she breaks away, gasping for air for an entirely different reason than I did, and her cheeks are red. I kiss her again, once more, until my chest feels tight, but in a good way.

In a way I've only felt once before, when I realized how much I love her.

 

 

I walk her to the training room.

A day after asking me about Evelyn, Everly woke up and asked me about Four.

I had to admit I was curious how it must have felt to have all these little bits of information slowly make their way to her. There were so many people, so many places, so many moments that happened, that filling her in on them one by one feels torturous. I'd never be able to explain the way Four accused me of starving her, when in reality, I'd fed her more than she'd have gotten in the mess hall. Or the way he'd watched her walk with me, his gaze heavy with disapproval.

Or the way he hadn't wanted to train her.

It took everything in me to give her just the facts. My mind wanted to tell her every nasty detail, every grimy adjective I could think of to taint her vision of him. I wanted to explain how he was sneaky and sly, how his actions were louder than his words, and how if I tried hard enough, I could pin her kidnapping on him.

I refrained.

I remained the pinnacle of maturity, and explained in short, painfully dry sentences that he was Four. What his place was in the faction, and what she'd been doing with him. She took it all in, smiling every time I rolled my eyes or got a little carried away, and when I was done, she announced she was ready to go back.

"It's just…it's taking a bit for me to remember. I thought I should try and go to work. Maybe…that'll do something. I don't know."

She wasn't defeated, not at all. Everly was Everly, and her optimistic nature pushed right through. She seemingly accepted having no memory of Dauntless, but she soaked it up easily. She took in everything carefully, then ran with it.

Which meant that now, I was saying goodbye to her, with a heavy feeling in my stomach.

"Let me know if he's an ass. I'll come get you." I mutter, and her lips touch mine briefly. I'd decided kissing her was okay. As long as we were both dressed, and there wasn't a chance she could climb on my lap. So like now, her on her tip toes and me looming over her, this was fine. I hold onto her hair, my fingers sliding through the strands, and I break away slowly, unwilling to really leave her with Four. "Just remember, I can kill him, too."

My threat is halfhearted.

I needed him alive for now, but once I killed Evelyn, that was another story.

"I'm sure he'll be fine." Everly answers brightly, and I doubt it.

"Meet me in my office when you're done. Do you remember how to get there?" I eye her carefully, and there's some relief on my part when she nods yes.

"Bye Eric."

She does her best to wave me off, but I watch her walk away. I'd made sure we'd arrived after the training had started for the day, giving her time to slip back into her old role without any pressure. She watches the class as she strides past them, and Four notices her immediately.

He notices me too, but I get a much colder reception than she does.

I can see the bruise on his face from here.

It looks like he's put something on it, something to help it heal faster, so he's not walking around with it. But it's a visible reminder that there was more on the line than his own life, and I was just fine with that. I smirk when he walks over to her, and she immediately cocks her head at the mark on his throat. I leave when he looks in my direction, his silent confirmation that I'd done it- making his face all pinched together and miserable, and I decide she'll be just fine.

I do my best to leave my irrational fear elsewhere, but I also do my best to make sure the control room knows to keep an eye on Everly, and if she vanishes out of their sight for a minute, they're to call me. And if they don't call me, they won't live to see the light of day.

The thought reassures me.

At least for the first few hours.

 

 

My office is quiet until it's not.

Rylan comes rushing in and flops down without bothering to say a single word. In fact, he sits there with his arms crossed over his chest, and he sighs repeatedly, until I look up at him.

"Yes?"

"Really? Really Eric? You let our Everly just go right back with…with him?" He glares at me, and I squint at him.

"Our Everly? You thought she was dead." I point out dryly, but I appreciate his defensiveness of her. "And if you're talking about Four, yes, she went back to the class today. She asked, and I couldn't tell her no."

"Yes, you could have. You tell people no all the time. You just told me no this morning when I asked if you wanted to get donuts."

"I already ate." I answer quickly. "Did you look through all the papers? I found three that I think are good. Six that were okay. The rest are garbage."

"Don't you try and change the subject. Everly is like…like…a…" Rylan retorts, and he crosses his arms over his chest.

"Like a…?" I prompt, and he glares at me even harder.

"Like a…person who shouldn't be working with Four considering he had her kidnapped." He exclaims loudly, so loudly I'm sure the whole floor can hear him.

"I agree with you. However," I pause, sliding the papers at him. "She wanted to go talk to him. She knows he was involved and she still wanted to go back. I'll let them work it out."

"Do you trust him?" Rylan's shriek is ear piercing, and he looks red. "Because I've been following him, and he leads a sad and lonely life. Don't you think he'd turn her over again? Just for a little excitement?"

"No, I don't." I answer flatly. "I think he'll help us, because if he doesn't, I'll kill him and he knows it. But thank you for looking out for her. I'd prefer if she just did something here, but she was working with the initiates. She asked to go back."

"This is a shitty plan." Rylan grabs the papers off my desk and scowls. "I hate all these people. I'm not electing any of them."

"You can't anyway. You don't live there." I point out, and Jason wanders in.

"You two busy? Max wants to confirm for Friday. He and Jeremy are working on the plans now. They sent me in here to make sure you both could go."

"That's fine with me." I agree, and Rylan shrugs.

"You're not in? What's wrong with you? You don't want to go now?" Jason asks him, and he eyes Rylan suspiciously. "Did Christina dump you? I told you she liked that one dude but he vanished. It's almost like he never even existed. What was his name again?"

"No, ugh." Rylan huffs. "Who cares what his name was. He's not even relevant to what's going on. And no, it's not Christina. We're just fine, thank you. I came in here to tell Eric that having Everly work with enemy number four wasn't a smart move on his part."

Jason looks over at me and I look at him.

"It's…"

"Fine, we all know it's fine. He won't be that stupid again. I ate breakfast with Four today. He said he'll help any way he can. I don't think he meant for what happened to-" Jason is cut off by Rylan, looking ready to explode.

"Oh, so you're both on Four's side now?" Rylan dramatically slumps in his chair. "Am I the only one who thinks this is moving too fast? Maybe Everly should start somewhere else. Like…here. Answering the phones."

"We have a receptionist. She's like, sixty, but she's alright. She always reminds me I have voicemails." Jason points out, and I press my fingers to my temples.

Rylan argues something back, but I tune him out. I focus on the paper in front of me, shoved back by Rylan, and one name stands out.

I vaguely remember her, here, insulting Tris on visiting day.

I decide she's the perfect candidate.

"Come on. We can go tell Max we're all in, and if you behave, you can call Jack and tell him I've got some names to run by him."

"Gee thanks." Rylan sulks, but he stands up. "But if Everly winds up dead again, this time, you're on your own. I'm not coming by for round two of your downward spiral."

"You're a true friend." I flash him a blinding smile, and I crumple up all the papers on my desk but one. I take it with me, and Jason and Rylan follow along.

I feel the sentience of normality beginning, and I have to admit that despite Everly working with Four all day, things feel okay. They may not be totally back to normal, but they will.

I can feel it.

 

 

The normalcy only lasts for a bit.

Until Everly shows up.

"I don't want you to go."

Everly leans back against my chest, and her hair tickles my nose. I sigh when she pushes herself back further, as though she can physically stop me from doing my job.

"It's not really an option at this point. Besides, I thought you wanted her dead." I remind her of our talk, doing my best to type around her. I'd called Jack after meeting with Max, and he'd been very curious about my recommendation. But he wanted all the details on her, which meant I needed to pull a profile report from our database. I'd been working on it when Everly came in, looking alive and happy until she realized what was going on.

"You could get hurt." She tells me, and her voice sounds small. I smirk at the back of her head. I hadn't been injured during the last round with the factionless, and this would be no different. I knew how they fought, I knew how they were trained, and I'd use Four as a human shield if need be.

"I won't get hurt." I rest my head against hers, closing my eyes for a quick second. I finish typing, and Everly cocks her head as she reads what I've written. I attach the report to the email, and I agree to meet with Jack in two days. I'm not sure where he wants to meet, so I leave it up to him. I skim it, and I hit send when I'm done. "I have to do this you know. Not out of retribution for what she did to you, but for the safety of the city. It's not even remotely plausible for us to turn a blind eye to what she's trying to do."

Everly nods, but it's not very convincing.

"Did you get hurt before? " She asks, and she shifts on my lap. "I just have this really bad feeling that something bad will happen."

I smirk again, but I can't ignore the huge rush of hope that hits me. "Once. I got shot while on patrol. Max came and got you in the middle of the night. That's a good sign though. Maybe you're closer to remembering than we thought."

She must feel it too. She sighs, and her fingertips trace the edge of the desk. "I hope so. I don't like not knowing everything that's going on." She pauses, moves her hands to cover mine, then completely loses her mind.

"I want to go with you on Friday." She announces, and her fingers tighten on mine as though that'll seal the deal.

But really.

Fuck.

No.

"No." I yank her against me so she can't move, and it's as though I will physically hold her down in Dauntless if I have to. "Absolutely not."

She wiggles free, turning around to look at me. I'm full on glaring at her, nearly shaking at the thought of bringing her to hunt down the woman who kidnapped her.

My glare isn't enough. She's undeterred. Her arms snake up around my neck, holding herself in place. "I want to help. I feel like if I don't, I'll spend the rest of my days regretting it. I'm brave enough, I swear. And this way I'll know you're okay because I'll be there with you."

I decide I will fucking hire Christina to stay with her. I will lock them both in my apartment, and neither of them will so much as step a foot out the door until I return.

I glare at Everly so intensely it hurts, and I wonder if her memory loss has affected her logical thinking. "It has nothing to do with if you're brave enough or not. I know you've been beating yourself up over not escaping from Evelyn, but this won't make anything better. You don't want this on your hands. Trust me."

She stares. I watch her chew on her lip as she thinks about what I said, but eventually she nods her head. I don't believe for a second she's giving up so easily, but I'll take it for now.

The idea of her coming along with me makes me nauseous. It makes my stomach turn over, thinking that when Evelyn realized Everly was with me, standing right there once more, she'd go for her immediately. She'd focus right in on her, knowing I'd have no chance of surviving my wife's death twice.

"Besides, there's no point in putting you back in danger. The minute she sees you, she'll send them after you. You were lucky to get away once." I do my best to be logical, but it's hard when I'm thinking about what could happen.

"Will you at least think about it?'

I'm right.

Everly's stare turns soft and pleading, and her fingers touch the sides of my hair. She trails them down the side slowly, never breaking her stare. "Please."

I decide I'll confirm my plan with Rylan tonight and if Christina refuses, then I'll send her down to Arlene with instructions to keep her there overnight.

"No."

Everly sinks against me in defeat, but I don't care.

She'll never leave Dauntless again as long as I'm breathing.

 

Her defeat hangs over her like a storm cloud.

I want to snarl at her to drop it. That I'm not acting this way because it's fun or because my main goal is to never let her do anything. I can't even begin to express how dangerous it would be for her to come along. How it's dangerous enough for our trained soldiers, let alone someone who can't quite remember what she did a few weeks ago. Even if I wanted to bring her, on the idiotic reasoning that maybe it would be therapeutic or maybe she has a thirst for vengeance I wasn't aware of, the risk of what could happen is too great. I'm unwilling to compromise her safety for a fleeting moment of triumph, one that I can't even guarantee.

To make up for it, I make her spaghetti. I scowl while I cook, slamming down the plates and doing my best to calm my frustration at why she wants to go. At the mental war that's going on, knowing she's thinking I'm being ridiculous.

But I'm not.

I wouldn't bring her along even if she could remember what had happened.

We eat quietly. She looks wounded, and I grind my teeth together as I try to ignore her woeful expressions that cross her face when she looks at me. I get that she doesn't want me to go, and she believes she'd be just fine to accompany me when I do go, but I'm not giving in.

I'd spent weeks thinking she was dead, and I wasn't going to relive all that so she could feel brave.

After dinner, I stalk to the bookshelf, and I skim the titles of the books I'd put away. It had taken everything in me not to launch these particular novels into the trash, and instead, I'd put them away the day I put away her wedding ring. It felt equally as painful; I'd watched her lose herself in these books, and as much as I wanted to rip the pages out of them, I couldn't get rid of them.

Now, I grab the first three from where I've shoved them, and I sit down next to her on the couch. She's left me little space, but that's nothing new.

"These were your favorite." I do my best to sound nice, but I fail. Miserably. I sound snappy and irritated, and I hand them to her without looking. She takes them from me gingerly, her fingers tracing over the childish images on the cover, and I have a hard time not barking at her to just read them already.

If she didn't like them, then this would feel wrong.

The thought stabs at me, and I do my best to pretend to work. I read Jack's email a few times, then I log into the security system. I find the patrol squad out on their route, and I realize they're watching a group of factionless lingering around one of the buildings on the edge of Candor. They stay far enough away that they haven't been spotted, and the camera changes angles as someone in the control room zooms in.

I focus on them, momentarily distracted by them doing absolutely nothing. When I glance over at Everly out of the corner of my eye, I'm disgustingly relieved to find her reading the first book. She's lost in the pages of it, the book propped up on her knees as she leans against me. I watch while she turns the page, concentrating hard as the boy realizes his life is about to change forever, and even harder when the ugly giant shows up.

I hate that I know that.

I don't hate when she slows down, and her eyes close. I feel her head fall against my shoulder, and when I glance down, she's set the book beside her.

She's sound asleep, and I let her stay that way for a bit. I eventually log out of the security system, and I turn to stare at her. Her hair falls everywhere, all over the couch and somewhat over her eyes. She barely moves when I pick her up and carry her to the bedroom. She does wake up long enough to brush her teeth, and she sleepily thanks me for the books.

She falls back asleep against me, her head on my chest and her fingers curled into my skin.

It feels familiar, so much that for once, I don't dream of losing her.

 

 

She does her best to keep up with me.

I could be running a hell of a lot faster. But we haven't been doing much of anything, and she'd looked at me like I was insane when I woke her up in the morning. For the first time since she'd been back, I'd gotten a full night's sleep. My dreams weren't plagued with visions of her being gone or ripped away from me. I'd woken up refreshed, antsy and motivated to get going, and I'd practically bribed her out of bed.

I'd completely broken my own rule of her not leaving Dauntless. But I had to. The compound suddenly felt stifling; like I'd outgrown the darkness here, and I needed fresh air and a change of scenery. I could only imagine Everly felt the same way, and once she'd taken her first step outside, I knew it was the right decision.

Once she was up, her expression grumpy and her hair a mess, she was fine. She didn't look thrilled to start her day by running, but I promised she'd like it. She kept up easily for the first thirty minutes, then stayed near me, running at her own pace through the city.

I'd taken us on an easy and familiar route, one I knew was safe. It was lit up, there were no factionless for miles, and the city was being patrolled as we ran through it. A few of the guards wave hello as we jog past them, more at Everly than me, and she waves back. I only slow down as we reach the train tracks, and she takes them in with big eyes.

"This way, Amity." I call out, and her gaze leaves the overgrown foliage. I can tell she's doing her best to place it all; there's plenty of tall buildings, some in use, some not. Plenty of crumbling, arching bridges, railways that don't work anymore, and streets and turns to run down. We push through the safest and most commonly used pathway, and I stop and wait for her at the bottom of the parking garage. Once she catches up, we head upward, and she sprints up the ramps easily, laughing when I pass her with a smirk.

We stop at the very top. The roof is empty, but impressive as the sun starts to rise. Everly watches the city wake up as the sky begins to lighten. The light moves slowly, breaking up the darkness of night while we stand and watch.

I keep an eye on her from a few feet away, enjoying the way she's lost in the sight before her. She looks happy and alive, her skin flushed from our run and her eyes brighter than ever. I let her have this, as long as she wants, until it's no longer dark.

"You ready to head back?" I wait until the sun is higher in the sky, and she shoves her bangs out of her face. She nods at me, smiling as we take off back down the ramps. The way down is much easier, and she smiles widely as she passes me.

I let her.

I watch her hair bounce after her, and once I hit the very bottom level, I speed up. I stay right next to her for the run back, but I pull ahead when we reach the compound. She laughs, cracking up as we pass the guards, pass the waiting trucks, pass Harrison, wearing a pair of aviator goggles and instructing a crew member how to change a flat tire.

She and I walk home together, her fingers grazing mine, until I give in and just grab her hand.

 

 

A day later, Jack Kang arrives.

His arrival is expected, but it still causes a small commotion at the security check point when he refuses to stop. He looks flustered as he walks in, not at all used to being subject to such pedestrian security measures, but he looks fine by the time he takes the seat next to me. He glances around at those taking their seats, and his approval is all over his face.

"Good morning." He greets everyone with a bright smile, pleased as ever to be here.

Because of his involvement in taking down Jeanine, he now fancied himself someone who needed to be included on all our plans. I'd humor him for now. He was here to discuss the Erudite Leadership position, but he'd stay for our plans on finding Evelyn. There wasn't a lot he could do to help us, but I couldn't argue with him that he couldn't stay. Evelyn had been spotted in Candor, and he had the right to know what was going on in his own faction.

So I'd told Max he was joining us for the entire morning, and I settled in for what was sure to be a long meeting. I'd said goodbye to Everly not long ago, just outside the door of the conference room. The others knew she was back, but the sight of her was jarring to them. Jeremy paled considerably when he saw her. Tori had smiled, rushing past us with Harrison. Four had done his best to not look at either of us, and he was only being brought in because he had no choice.

Tris had shown up last, her arms full of papers and her gaze nervous. She hadn't wanted to come to this meeting, but as someone who worked in the control room, she had to. She'd been put in charge of tracking a group of factionless, and today, she'd fill us in on her report. Everly had been the only person she'd smiled at.

I'd kissed Everly goodbye, telling her I'd meet her for lunch right as the last few stragglers showed up, and I hoped my words were true. I was hoping we'd be done before then, but you never knew how this could go. Everly had nodded, smiling up at me, and I'd smiled back. All too soon she stepped back away from me, her fingers leaving mine reluctantly, and I could feel her watching me as I went back into the meeting.

Now, I sat by Jack, watching as Tris stood up, looking at all of us and doing her best to pretend Four wasn't sitting next to Jason. He and Rylan had shown up together, and they'd made a beeline for him. He was mostly safe; Max sat on the other side of him, and Rylan was distracted by the bagels someone had brought.

"So, we've noticed them showing up here, looking for something. They never stay long, fifteen or twenty minutes max, and it's never the same people. Except for one guy."

Tris doesn't waste any time. She doesn't wait for an official start to the meeting, nor does she wait to pass out the photos she's printed out. They slowly make their way around the table, and Rylan holds up one of them, squinting at it.

"This guy looks familiar." He announces loudly, and he elbows Harrison. "Who does this look like to you? Four? I agree."

Four takes a very slow drink of whatever it is he's brought before he sighs. "How could it be me? I've been here. With you. Watching you watch me for the past two weeks."

"It's not him. The head's too small." Harrison announces, tilting his head to eye Four. "Could be his twin, though."

"It's not Four." I snap, yanking the paper out of Rylan's hand. I glance at it, and while the person does slightly resemble Four, it's very obviously not him. "Did you go back and see if they've been showing up here before? Or is this a new occurrence?"

Tris looks at me, and it takes her a second to answer. Not because she doesn't know. Because her gaze skips over to Four, then back to me. "We went back eight weeks, but I can go further if you'd like. It's a regular occurrence. No one picked it up because they show up at varied times, but they almost always avoid the times we patrol through there."

"So they know when we're coming." Tori points out, unimpressed as ever. "Did you vary the route times at all? Or change up the rotation? Who's overseeing this section?"

Everyone turns to look at Tris, and she shakes her head. "I'm not in charge of the routes. Peter is. Karl has a few, but I don't think any in this area. Um…" She pauses, and this time, she looks over to her right before looking down. "Jeremy has a route through there as well. We don't usually see the Leaders out there, only the squads. But we do have a report of who's going where if you'd like to see that."

"I would." Tori answers, and next to me, Jack nods.

He then elbows me and leans his head in close to mine. "Are they looking for something?"

"That or planning something. Tris, are they the same people every time?"

"Is this really that important?" Jeremy interrupts. "We're wasting our time trying to figure out when they're there. Why don't we just…just find Evelyn."

His voice trails off as he realizes his brilliant plan is stupid, and I stare at him until he looks away.

"That's what we're trying to do." I slowly remind him, and even Tris looks confused at his words. "However, if you have her exact location, feel free to share it with the group."

"I don't. Maybe Four does." Jeremy retorts, and his gaze snaps over to him. "Maybe ask him where we should be going."

"I don't know where she is." Four answers sharply. "If I did, I'd take you there. But they moved after the attack. My guess is eventually, they'll return to where they consider their home. But for now, they're baiting you all to find out if you'll go after them."

"Of course, you would say that. So you don't want us going after them." Jeremy points at Four, and he looks displeased. "So we should just stay here."

There is a flash of frustration that crosses Four's face and I share in it. He leans back in his chair, and everyone turns to look at him. "No, I'm saying this is what we should be doing. Trying to get a step ahead of them instead of gunning down every single one we see."

Jeremy yells something back, and I find myself tuning them both out. There is an odd back and forth going on, as if they've never really interacted together before, but it bores me. They're both bland and bad at arguing, and I only pay attention when Harrison elbows Tori and clears his throat.

"I know where she's hiding. I'll take you there, but the weird one is right. We need to wait until they've settled in. Or until you're sure you can blow them all up. Either way, let me know. I'll clear my calendar."

The room falls silent, and I turn to look at Harrison.

He winks and the room erupts into a loud roar.

 

 

Tris walks to the mess hall in front of me.

I observe her as she pushes her hair behind her ear and clutches the papers to her like some sort of shield. She'd looked tense when we left the meeting at the same time. She'd managed to escape without talking to Four, and she'd promised me she'd sent me the routes and leads I'd asked for. I'd nodded, and she looked grateful to be free. I hadn't spoken to her since Everly was gone, and I wasn't about to start now.

She stays well ahead of me the entire walk, and only veers off when we enter the mess hall. I quickly find Everly sitting at a table waiting for me, and her face lights up as I head over. It had taken everything in me to make sure we ended on time so I could keep my word. Our meeting agenda had flipped. We'd started with the Evelyn discussion and wound up finishing by discussing the potential Candor candidates. Surprisingly, everyone had an opinion about them, but we still managed to end a few minutes before lunch. I'd told Jason and Rylan I'd see them later, and I ignored Max trying to lure me into his office.

None of that matters now.

I slide into the seat next to Everly, and my knee bumps into hers as I move closer so I'm touching her. It feels like it's been days since I've seen her, even though it's only been a few hours. She looks up at me expectantly, and I know what she's waiting to hear.

"We aren't heading out this week." I glance down at what she's picked out, and I suddenly wonder how I'm going to choke down this sandwich. "It shouldn't take longer than half the day, but we are prepared to fight until it's over."

"But I'm coming with you, right?" She asks, stabbing her pasta salad and taking a bite. I blink at her, wondering how on Earth she could still be stuck on that idea. "What happened to going there today?"

I shake my head. I don't have enough time to give her anything other than a brief explanation. "We need more time. Harrison worked to map out an attack, but Four wants to look at it. The better prepared we are, the easier this will be. I don't anticipate too much of a fight from the factionless. Four explained exactly how he trained them and what they should know, and we more than held our own last time."

"So you'll go down there? And then what? How do you lure her out to you?" Everly stops to drink her water, and her gaze zeroes back in on mine. "I still want to go."

I stare right back at her, unwilling to have her involved with any of this. "We'll use Four to draw her out. My only concern is that the Stiff decides he can't live without his mommy and bails on us. If that's the case, then we blow them sky high and call it a day."

Everly sets her fork down, and I know what's coming. A thinly veiled discussion on why she thinks she should go. I stop her plan immediately by looking at her plate and shaking my head.

"Eat your lunch, Amity. I'm not making you lunch and dinner."

She eats a large bite of her sandwich just to prove she's listening, then has to work hard to chew it. She finally swallows, then looks up at me. "I'm going to go. I feel like I should be there when she realizes she's getting what she deserves."

"You don't remember her. Or what she did. What would the point of you going be?" I remind her politely, but I can tell she's somewhat insulted. I can see her mind whirling as she thinks of a good reason she should go, and I want to tell her to stop. No matter what she comes up with, my answer is no.

"She'll come out if she sees me."

"Of course she will." This time, I snap at her and I don't feel bad about it. "Which is exactly why you'll stay home. I don't need to spend any more of my time worrying about where you are." I take a bite of my sandwich to dull my rage, but I only grow angrier that Quinten managed to somehow fuck up a sandwich. "I'll feel better knowing you're safe in my apartment."

Everly sighs.

I vaguely wonder if she thinks this is what she should be doing, or maybe she truly does want to be there when I end Evelyn's life. But the whole thing is asinine. It was added stress I didn't need, but I had no way of telling her that.

I take another bite of my sandwich, and I watch Four walk through the doors to the mess hall. He looks worn out, but that could have been from Harrison's intense questioning. His shoulders slump down as he eyes the line, and he only looks up when Tris walks by him. For a second, she seems to forget their odd, awkward tension from before, and she smiles.

Really smiles.

I find myself nauseated at the sight of them, especially when Four sinks back into a deep depression as the love of his life stops paying attention to him.

I notice Everly watching them, and I wish she had been here to see the glorious moment when Tris dumped him. "I know you never got the opportunity to witness it, but those two used to be attached at the hip. It's a shame they didn't work out."

I snicker as Everly looks up at me, and she nudges her knee into mine in a small attempt to make me stop laughing. I know Tris is her friend, but I still take great delight in Four's misfortune.

Even now he looks miserable as he sits down at a table. He watches Tris walk away, and I relish in the thought that it's a sight he's used to.

But it does remind me that I'll never watch Everly leave like that. I scoot closer to her, until my arm bumps hers, and I choke down the rest of my lunch.

She's quiet while we walk back home, and I can only hope she's thinking about her friends, and not thinking up ways to come along to find Evelyn.

My gut instinct tells me it's the latter, and I do my best to pretend otherwise.

 

 

I leap for Four's throat when he insinuates my mother never loved me.

The irony of the whole thing was that she hadn't, but I'd never let it bother me. Blythe was a shitty person, and that was no secret I'd ever tried to hide. In fact, I'd willingly destroy her character given the chance. Everyone knew I'd written her off as soon as I was old enough to realize what a waste of a human being she was, and there wasn't a single redeemable quality about her.

Still, no one insults me and gets away with it.

My fingers close around his throat when Tori somehow works her way between us and knocks my hands away. She separates us with a lot of yelling at the both of us to grow up, and I step back in a huff.

This meeting was going terribly.

In addition to Everly deciding she wanted to come along to watch us take down Evelyn, I now had Four acting edgier than ever. Maybe it was the thought of actually holding his mother accountable for what she'd done, or maybe it was because he'd heard Tris had gotten into some huge fight with Jeremy for the millionth time. But he was suddenly antsy, and he picked apart every single plan we came up with. I lost it when he suggested my impatience for everything was due to my upbringing, and not him dragging his feet on this whole issue.

Everyone seemed to side with me, even if they didn't say it.

I wanted to lunge for him again and remind him just how impatient I was, but Max stood between us, and he informed us we could no longer sit by each other.

As if I wanted to be anywhere near Four.

I left in a huff, announcing I was taking a break.

One I decided not to return from.

I don't.

Not even when they make Four call me, and he leaves one long, rambling, sulky message asking me to return.

I delete it without responding.

 

 

My life does not improve in the way I'd prefer.

Despite how soft and warm and pretty and sweet she is, my wife still does not remember why she can't come along to hunt down Evelyn. She can't even remember why she's married to me, nor does she remember that I don't have a ton of patience for when her clothes fall off her shoulders and her blinking gaze is a little too much to bear.

Friday is the worst.

Usually, even I could perk up at the thought of not having to return to my office for two days. But with Evelyn looming out there somewhere, with Harrison up scheming all hours of the night, and with Max pressuring me to make sure Four followed through on his promises, there was a high chance I'd be called back in. It meant my weekend with Everly would be interrupted no matter how many times I told everyone not to call me or threatened them within an inch of their lives.

Really, I have nothing planned.

Everly liked to sleep, and since that was the only bed related activity we could do, we'd sleep in. In a way, it was just fine with me. The nightmares were easing up with each passing night, and I no longer found myself waking up thinking she was gone. I now woke to the agony of how warm she was against me; her legs shoved through mine, her arms over me, her hands on my chest. How even in her sleep she chose me, pushing herself closer and closer, until there was no space between us. It left me frustrated on a whole other level, but I'd gladly take that over waking up in sheer horror over her death.

But this Friday gets real shitty, real fast. It starts at breakfast, when I'm called into Max's office. I stand in my kitchen with my hand on my refrigerator door, just about to make something for Everly and me. I give up that dream when Max starts droning on about my factional duty, and I roll my eyes and tell him I'll be there so he'll shut up. I leave Everly in bed, stopping in briefly to tell her I had to go into work. Her expression was utter disappointment, and it looked exactly like I felt.

I arrive at Max's office to find not only Max in there, but a furious looking Jeremy, a smug looking Harrison, and a sulky looking Four.

"We need to figure this out." Max announces, and he gestures to the map he's got in front of him. "We only have one shot at this, and we need to make it count. So no more fucking around. Jeremy is going to take over overseeing every single patrol route. Forget Peter, forget Karl. He's going to reroute all of them today. You, Four and I, will sit down and figure out who's coming along with us, and the best way to space them out. By lunch, I expect us to have a concrete plan."

I nod, because I don't disagree with what he's saying.

"You want me to change all of the routes? By myself?" Jeremy asks, and I find him to be on my last nerve already.

"Is that hard for you?" I look right at him, and I notice he looks tired. Either from keeping a thousand secrets, or from listening to Tris whine all night long. "If you've been paying attention, or read any of your emails, you'll know where they need to go."

"I have been paying attention." He snaps, and immediately regrets it. "I just…look, it was a rough night. I'll head down there now. I'll see what they have scheduled over the next few days."

"Good." I snap back, and I look at Four. "You ready to do this?"

Four nods and Harrison stares at him.

"You sure about that?" Harrison asks. "Who's overseeing your class right now?"

"Lauren." Four answers, and his eyes flash to me. "Everly isn't back permanently yet. So, they're working with Lauren today."

"She'll be back eventually. When she can remember." I respond easily, and I know he's bothered

"I see." Harrison looks concerned, but only for a brief second. "Alright gentleman let's get started. The sooner we figure this out, the better."

He points for us to head out of Max's office, and I realize I'll have to follow him. To my dismay, he takes us to the conference room. I lag behind, noticing Jeremy hesitating in the hallway. I wave Four in after Max, and I tell them I'll be right in.

"Start without me."

I follow Jeremy down the hallway, not sure why something is bugging me, but it is. Since the first day I met him, I've found him odd. A little too ambitious to suddenly have such a shitty attitude over something that could benefit him greatly. Overseeing the patrol squads isn't anything challenging, but even if it were, he should be grateful for the opportunity.

He stops at the elevator, mumbling at his phone, and he looks up when I stop beside him.

"Oh hey, I'm heading there now." He doesn't quite meet my eyes but looks to the side of me.

"I'll walk you there." I push the call button, and I rock back on my heels. He looks uneasy, but shrugs. "Everything…good?"

The words sound comical coming from me. I have little interest in making small talk, and even less interest in him. But I do my best to sound interested, as though his mental wellbeing is of any concern to me.

Luckily, he falls for it.

"No. Everything is pretty fucked up right now. I'm sure you've noticed." He immediately answers, sending someone a message while we wait. "I mean, Everly's back but uh, you said she's…not remembering things. And Tris and I called it quits last night. I don't know why I thought that would ever work."

"Yeah, you're not the first to attempt to understand her."

My response is automatic, and he mistakes it as the male bonding he's been missing out on.

"She's fucking obsessed with her ex. I can't stand the sight of his face. I see him everywhere. Everywhere. Staring at her like a fucking creep." Jeremy lets out a bark of angry laughter, and I smirk as I follow him into the elevator. I suddenly decide I like him, though that thought is fleeting. "Between you and me, I think she's been seeing him all this time. It pissed me off. I couldn't hold her attention for more than a few seconds but mention his name and she was all ears."

He pauses, and I patiently press the number for the ground level.

"I told her off. The way I see it, why waste my time. Four isn't exactly the saint he pretends to be."

"I can't argue with that." The doors shut and I look over at Jeremy. I notice his uniform looks odd, far more beat up than it should. "You uh, see him a lot? Are you working with him?"

I play dumb, and he still doesn't notice.

"Here and there." His answer turns vague, and I realize maybe he does. He looks at me out of the corner of his eye and shrugs. "He leaves here a lot. I mean, we all knew that. But I've run into him further outside the compound than I should."

"Lately?" I examine my phone, clicking on the text from Max asking where I went. "I thought we put a stop to that."

"Yeah, yeah." Jeremy's phone rings, and he answers it without looking. I hear him mumble he'll be there soon, and he hangs up without saying goodbye. I catch a glimpse of the screen as he pulls it away from his ear. There's no name, only a number that vanished immediately.

"I uh, you don't have to walk me. I'll send you the routes I change." He stops the elevator a floor before we need to get off, and I tilt my head at him. "I know you're the one in charge here. Always have been. Always will be."

I move to reach for him, something telling me to slam him into the wall and ask him what the fuck he's talking about, but the doors open. He slides through them instantly, hitting the close button on his way out.

They shut as I stand there, fumbling for my own phone.

I call Karl to warn him that Jeremy is heading his way, and I demand to know every single word that comes out of Jeremy's mouth.

My day isn't any better by lunch.

I slide into the seat next to Everly, planning on enjoying my lunch after a headache inducing morning, but Jeremy is hot on my heels. He takes the seat across from us, and his demeanor is no better than when he'd left the elevator. Karl had called once Jeremy was done talking with him he said he was heading to find me, and Karl's report wasn't anything amazing. Apparently, all Jeremy did was complain the entire time he was down there.

He continues as he slams his tray down, and I find myself annoyed at the noise he's making.

"It's not fair." He exclaims, looking downright livid. "I just don't understand why this is falling on me. Isn't there someone else to pick up the slack?" He looks over at Everly sitting there, and his mouth snaps shuts. It's like he's just realized who I'm eating with, and he doesn't look happy. "Hey, Everly."

"Hey." She answers, then looks at me. "Hi Eric."

She says my name pointedly, and I deserve it. I'd shoved myself right up against her without uttering so much as a hello.

"We have to work late tonight. That means you're on your own for dinner." I answer her quickly, still forgetting to greet her. Jeremy scowls at his lunch, and his expression darkens every time he looks at Everly.

"Oh."

"Hey, do I have to be there too? I did what you asked?"

Everly answers me at the same time Jeremy does, and I stare at him, wondering why on Earth he was thinking I'd excuse him from the biggest project we were working on. I close my eyes tightly, not in the mood to eat anything in front of me, and the pounding in my head increases.

It doesn't go away, and in fact, in only grows worse by the time I realize Everly hasn't said a single word since I haven't answered her. Or for the rest of our lunch. I barely manage to get a goodbye from her, and I return to work feeling like crap.

 

 

It continues through the night.

I only last sixteen minutes into my evening in the control room before I tell Four to go fuck himself.

We're sitting at the monitors, both of us watching a screen filled with women and men arguing over something, and I decide I don't care anymore. I mean, I do care about what they're doing. But I don't. I don't want to be sitting here, watching Four pretend he isn't watching the very people he trained to kill plot to kill us. I don't want to be stuck listening to Jeremy try to figure out how to stretch the shifts of men who were already over worked. I don't want to listen to Harrison, telling some thrilling tale of the time he got stuck in an avalanche and barely made it out alive.

I just want to go home.

So I do.

I use it to my advantage to lose my shit when Four suggests I take over watching this so he can do something else, and I less than politely remind him he's not working in here anymore. That he can sit where I told him to, watch the people he worked with, and then type up a report on them and send it to my email. He has some daringly defiant answer, something about how he planned on appealing that decision since I wasn't in charge of what he did, and I wearily decide it's not worth it.

If I kill him now, it would be because I was tired, and not because I really wanted to.

So I smile, tell him not to fucking move, and I leave.

I scan myself out of the control room, past the yeti expert himself discussing the proper shoes to wear during a snowstorm. Past Kacie, watching me like a hawk. Past Max, yawning into his umpteenth cup of coffee.

I head home with one goal in mind, and that's to fall asleep next to Everly. I plan on downing something for my headache, brushing my teeth, and climbing into bed with her. Nothing sounds more appealing, and the thought of her is all consuming as I walk home. I take the elevator, wearily punching the button for the floor I live on, and I tiredly walk to my apartment. I open the door with the intent of finding Everly and seeing if she's eaten, but I open it up to darkness.

My stomach immediately clenches up.

I storm right in, fully prepared to find her if I have to tear this apartment apart. The fear that she's gone comes right back, full force, and it's all I can feel. It consumes me as I stalk past the kitchen, down the hallway, and into our bedroom. The fear is hot, and it burns as I flip the lights on, fully prepared to call in an alert.

I freeze in place, my eyes glued to the bed when I realize I can call off my search.

She's right there.

Fast asleep on the bed.

I walk closer, a smile crossing my lips as I realize she definitely had something planned for tonight. Her nightgown is far more revealing than anything she's worn so far. It's mostly pink lace and very little of anything else, and it's so short that I'm not sure how anyone else would wear it.

But whatever her plan was, it's failed spectacularly.

She's fast asleep on my side of the bed, right where I want her.


	31. Four + Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone has an amazing weekend!

She wakes up a few hours later.

Perhaps it was the exhaustion of trying to relearn everything all over again or waiting for me to return home, but whatever she was planning was clearly foiled by her own ability to fall asleep anywhere. I found it sort of endearing, but maddeningly frustrating. It was clear she wanted something that involved me and her in my bed together, but I wasn't finding out tonight.

The worst part is, I probably would have given in to her.

I was doing my best to remind myself that while she was Everly, and she clearly had no issues getting close to me, I needed to be patient. I could wait another week. It would be all the sweeter to celebrate once she remembered, and this rotten time would be nothing but a distant memory.

Of course, there was the chance she might not remember. Arlene had given the results based off what she knew they had injected her with, but we had no concise evidence as to what the side effects were. Or how long they would last. There was always a chance she'd never remember anything from before, and if that were the case, then I'd have to start all over again. I'd have to rebuild everything I'd worked for, every single moment I'd shared with her, every single ounce of trust she'd had in me.

For Everly, I would.

There was no doubt.

I sink down on the bed next to her, stretching out and forgetting about the weight of the day. Despite all the uncertainties swirling in the air and the strong urge to commit violence against Four, coming home to her was a huge relief. It felt normal and right, like everything was okay once I was here. Even finding her asleep was fine; I could entertain myself until I got tired, and she clearly needed the rest.

I think this as I glance down at her, noticing the way her fingers are curled into my pillow and her eyelashes are long against her cheeks, and I feel of wave of complete and utter contentment.

Which is immediately followed by annoyance, as my gaze slides down to her bare shoulders, the flimsy fabric clinging to the curve of her waist, and her wedding ring on her finger. The unfairness rises back up again, reminding me that even though she was close, close enough that I could reach over and drag my fingers through her hair, I shouldn't. Can't.

But I want to.

My internal debate rages on, my mind never letting me have a moment of respite from the constant wanting of her. It's been this way the whole time, but it's amplified by the sight of her now, wanting me even without her memory.

To my surprise, she sits up suddenly, rubbing her eyes and blinking at me in confusion. It takes her a second to squint at the clock beside me, and another second to realize I am really there as she tries to wake up.

"How was work?" She asks groggily, and I meet her stare. Her hair is shiny and clean, and when she moves, the strap of her nightgown slides down to the top of her shoulder. The action isn't even remotely scandalous, but her bare skin is as tempting as ever.

"Far too much time spent with Four and his stupid ideas." My answer is flat, and I turn to face her, wishing she'd worn anything but what she has on. "Aren't you cold?"

To my dismay, she shakes her head no. She had been beneath the covers, but she had to be cold without me beside her. She scoots closer to me, bringing the blanket with her, and looks up.

"Did you figure out a plan?"

Also to my dismay, she hasn't forgotten what I was working on. But coming from her, with her fancy nightgown and her sleepy expression, the question is entertaining. "We did. One that will remain under wraps until next week."

She smiles. Her eyes widen slightly, and she looks up at me from beneath her eyelashes as endearingly as possible. "You can tell me. I won't tell anyone."

Her promise is sweet and secretive, something just between her and I.

I shake my head no.

There is some relief in the fact that even without her memories, she's the same person she was before. I pride myself on being immune to her seduction attempt, no matter how temping she might be. She'll have to learn the hard way that no one gets what they want from me by batting their eyelashes and wearing next to nothing, not even her.

I lean back against the pillows, and I put both my hands behind my head. It's hardly comfortable, but I close my eyes, because it's easier to ignore her when I can't see her. "Nice try, Amity. The only thing you should be planning for is what sweater you'll be wearing tomorrow."

She doesn't answer. I can feel her right up against me, and I'd bet anything she's thinking of a way to convince me otherwise. About both the sweater and coming along. I enjoy the silence while she plots her next move, and I only open my eyes when my phone rings. The sound is loud in my bedroom, but I don't answer it. I can only assume it's Max, demanding I come back.

It goes to voicemail, then immediately begins to ring again.

"Who's calling you now?" She asks curiously, and she has a point. It's past midnight, and most would not dare call me this late.

"No one." I answer her quickly, and I reach for the phone. Karl's name flashes across the screen, and I decide it can wait until morning. There are other Leaders in this faction besides me, and he can call one of them.

Unfortunately, Everly sees his name before I can decline his call.

"Why is Karl calling you now? Is everything okay?" She leans into me, trying to get a better view of the phone. It stops ringing, and she leans in even closer.

"It's fine." I answer, but he calls again, clearly needing something.

He can call Max.

"Aren't you going to answer the phone?" Everly asks suspiciously, and I shrug at her. There are a million reasons he could be calling. Because his patrols have been taken over and rerouted. Because he found something. Because we sent him out, in the darkest part of the night to search an area that the factionless were hanging out at.

But Everly doesn't need to worry about any of this.

She thinks she does.

She lunges for my phone, her hands doing their best to grab it from me like she plans on answering it herself.

"What are you doing?" I jerk it away from her, unimpressed with her plans to save the day. "Everly-"

I start to say her full name, but before I can, she's up balancing on her knees. She climbs over me, reaching for the phone as though I'm hiding something, and she's determined to find out what. It's like she's possessed, and I move the phone away from her, stretching my arm as far away from her as it can go.

I appreciate her help, but she'll have no clue what to even say to Karl when she answers.

"What has gotten into you?" I hiss when she looks right at me, determined as ever.

She ignores me.

She climbs over me, either intending to launch my phone at the wall or answer it herself, when she loses her balance. To my horror, she falls off the bed, and I hear her head smack against the nightstand. Her groan is immediate, and when I look down, she's rubbing the back of her head.

"Ow." She mumbles in utter embarrassment, but I can't focus on that.

I can only think that she's hit her head again, and now possibly delayed her recovery.

"Fuck."

I swear loudly, jumping off the bed and doing my best not to step on her. She's still sitting on the floor, her nightgown bunched up in an awkward manner, and she's chewing on her lip. I can see visions of her suddenly having amnesia, completely forgetting everything all together.

Forget one more week.

I grab her roughly, pulling her up by her waist, and making sure she can stand. I shove her hair off her face, checking to make sure her eyes are responsive. When I'm certain they are, I jerk her hair to the side, shoving my fingers through the strands to feel for a bump. Or blood.

"Damn it, are you alright?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine. I swear," she answers immediately, and she looks ready to cry. Not from the pain, but more out of humiliation. I have to say, she's the first girl to ever fall out of my bed, and definitely the first one to ever try and take my phone from me. She stares at me for just a second, then looks away as she fixes her nightgown. "I'm alright."

I'm unconvinced. Paranoid. I swear again, and my free hand digs into her side.

"Everly…" I say her name and she looks up slowly. Her green eyes lock on mine, and there is no more recognition than the night I found her. Maybe even less. My stomach drops and I feel both ill and furious, and I decide we aren't staying here.

I shake my head no, and I have no choice but to take her to see Arlene.

 

 

For once, the infirmary is empty.

That hardly matters. Everly looks miserable as she sits on the infirmary bed, and she'd done her best to back away when she realized why we were here.

It wasn't that I didn't believe she was fine. It was that she had lost her fucking mind. Her desire to make sure Evelyn paid for what she did was appropriate. Wonderful. Arousing, even. But it was making her nuts. I certainly wasn't bringing her along with me to murder the woman who'd kidnapped her, and I certainly wasn't letting her answer my phone to see what Karl was up to.

There was also the chance that she'd truly hurt herself when she fell, which meant we were sitting here, waiting for Arlene to come in.

She frowns at me as she pulls my jacket tighter around her, looking put out that I'd brought her down here. I'd told her she had to change. I'd dug through my drawers, grabbing the first t-shirt and pair of boxers I could find, and I'd thrown them at her. I wasn't parading her through Dauntless half naked, but she'd still looked confused at the clothes. Eventually, she turned around to pull the nightgown off her, and I'd frozen.

I watched it slide up over her hair, giving way to the sight of her naked back, and the pink underwear that matched it.

I couldn't move.

I had seen her undressed endless times. I'd seen her in every state of undress one could think of. I'd slept with her countless times, even going as far as to say that I'd never screwed her like the others, that I'd loved her and shown her when I'd forced myself to slow down with her

But it felt wrong to see her like this. It was only a mere second before she pulled the shirt over her head, turning to face me as she stepped into the boxers. She'd met my stare once, not at all bothered by the sight of me behind her, but more embarrassed at how this night had played out.

I wanted to tell her never mind. To take my shirt off, and climb back into bed, and I'd make sure she was alright.

But I couldn't risk it. I couldn't stand the thought that this might have harmed her, so I took her downstairs, checked her in, and we were escorted right back.

I stare at her now, as she sits there, her shoes half laced and her hair a mess, and she stares right back at me. The feeling is intense, strong enough that I have the urge to leap across the room and kiss her, mumbling to her that this would be fine. That she'd been okay before, and she'd be okay now.

But I can't.

It's almost a relief when Arlene appears.

Arlene reads through her chart while she walks. Compared to most in Dauntless, there's nothing and everything on it. Her medical history is minimal, but not many have had their memories erased. Arlene pushes her glasses up as she reads, but comes to a halt in front of the bed, looking down at Everly waiting for her.

"Everly, dear, how did you manage to hit your head again?"

Everly's face turns bright red.

To be fair, the first time wasn't her fault.

But this time, it was her brilliant idea to climb on top of me.

It's also her brilliant idea to answer Arlene honestly.

"I fell off of Eric."

The answer catches Arlene off guard. Her shoulders shake as she does her best to maintain her composure, and her pen is frozen over the paper.

"You fell off of Eric. What were you and Eric doing?" She pauses, and I know she wants to look at me. Badly. I stare at the wall, wondering what on Earth Everly will offer up. Fortunately, she seems to have figured out that telling Arlene as little as possible is the way to go.

"We were talking." She does her best to sound casual, as if she and I routinely had lengthy discussions in the middle of the night while she sat on me.

The thought makes me snort.

Arlene's head snaps to me, and her gaze is highly accusatory. I roll my eyes, because there was nothing at all scandalous about what had gone on, unless you count what Everly had on before she got here. "Everly managed to fall off the bed. We're just here to make sure she doesn't have a concussion. That's all the information you need."

She looks like she doesn't believe me, but I dare her not to. She turns to face Everly and begins to rattle off a list of questions. "Does your head hurt? Any dizziness? Nausea? Vomiting? Blurred vision?" Arlene steps closer, and she touches Everly's head to feel for the bump. When she doesn't find one, she shines a light in her eyes, prompting Everly to follow her movements.

Once she's satisfied, she steps away from her, but I can tell I'm going to get an earful the minute she has time.

"I think you'll live. I'm going to just suggest that you and Eric be a little more careful while having your…" She pauses, making sure Everly is looking at her. "Discussions."

I stare at the ceiling, suddenly regretting bringing her down here.

"I can give you something for the pain if you want. We have a really mild painkiller we can order up. We could also inject something to…"

"No." Everly protests suddenly, and she shakes her head. "I'm fine. And I don't want you to inject me with anything. Ever again. I've had enough things injected into my neck lately, and I'm done. Write that on my chart."

I blink in surprise.

I'm sure Arlene does the same.

"Are you sure about this? Do you remember what you're scheduled to receive? I actually need you to come back next week. We never got around to giving you…"

"No. Nothing else. Not until I can remember everything," Everly interrupts firmly. She crosses her arms over her chest, and I can tell her mind is made up. Which is great, except she has no clue what Arlene is talking about.

Or the implications that could happen from this decision.

My gaze finds her, and she's looking right at me. So is Arlene. I know she's waiting for me to tell Everly that she's declining her birth control, but it's not my place. The look on her face tells me she really doesn't want anything injected in her, and I don't blame her.

"You're ok with that?" Arlene finally asks, but Everly doesn't need my permission. I smirk at her when she meets my stare, and she looks irritated that Arlene is questioning her decision.

Oh little Amity.

If she could only remember what she was refusing.

"It's not my decision." I shrug at the both of them. "Just wait 'til her memory is back. Then you can go over everything with her."

Arlene's face changes to total and utter delight. I've never seen her look so happy, and I hope I never see her look this way again. "Well, fine." She steps away from Everly and smiles widely. "I've been waiting for this for a while, you know."

I roll my eyes at her and her stupidity. "Keep waiting. She'll be back in a week." I reach for Everly, helping her slide off the table, relived she is fine. I stand there for a moment with her, staring down at her. I'm not so relieved she's turned down her birth control, but since I have no intention of sleeping with her anytime soon, it's not that big of a deal. It also makes me delighted at the disappointment Arlene will suffer when nothing happens.

"I'll make a note of it," Arlene waves us off, and she's still grinning. "Fine. You can head back home. Try not to fall off…anything else. Have a good night you two."

She leaves immediately, looking so disgustingly pleased that I want to punch her.

"What is she talking about? She's been waiting for what?" Everly asks as I lead her out of the room. She tugs at my jacket, missing the stare of one very concerned Molly. Everly looks adorably confused, and I reach for her hand.

"Nothing. She really needs a hobby or something."

I lace my fingers through hers, and together, we head home.

 

 

It takes the entire walk back to the apartment before Everly looks at me. It's unusual for her, but I understand. Having to confess to the Dark Lord that she hit her head by falling off me wasn't on anyone's to do list, and it made it all the worse that she didn't remember who Arlene was.

She waits patiently while I unlock the door, then I turn to smirk at her. "Here. I don't want you to trip over the doorway."

Before she can answer, I pick her up. My hand slides beneath her knees while the other slips behind her back. The expression on her face isn't amused as I kick the door back open while stepping through it. I pause for a split second, then continue to the bedroom. I listen for the front door to click shut, then I drop Everly on the very bed she fell off of.

"Funny," She answers huffily. "And I said I was fine. You didn't need to bring me to Arlene."

I walk to the end of the bed to take off my own jacket, and I glance at her. "I wanted to make sure."

"Are you related to Arlene? She seems to be rather fond of you." Everly asks curiously. I hate that she'd even think that, but I understand why she'd make the assumption.

"I've known her for a while." I pull my shirt off over my head, and I stare down at her on the bed. She looks just as appealing in my clothes as she did in her own pajamas. I'm relieved she's okay, and I hope this won't affect her recovery. When she shifts to pull her legs up, I decide she'll be just fine. "She's a friend of my parents."

"Have I met your parents?" She sits up, taking off my jacket. She puts it on the nightstand, and I debate how to answer her question. She'd have had no real chance to meet them, but it brings up the fact that Daniel asked me to bring her to dinner. She could meet them, sure.

But I doubt she'll like them.

They might not like her, either.

For a second, their disappointment flashes through my mind. Not that I'd care if they didn't approve, but she wasn't anyone to them. On paper, she was a transfer from Amity, and I'd married her before she completed her training. She wasn't a brain surgeon. She wasn't a psychology major. She hadn't run Amity nor done anything more than escape a life of boredom there. They'd find her woefully pedestrian, no one who should be married to one of the Leaders in Dauntless.

But I didn't care about any of that.

She was everything to me, and they'd never understand why.

"No. You haven't."

I reach to unbutton my pants, and I decide to take a shower. I stop talking, ignoring the way Everly's gaze has turned disappointed, and I storm into the bathroom.

I could always bring her to meet them, and maybe this was the right time. Maybe she wouldn't mind them, and when she could remember, she'd forget them.

I argue this over and over, until my shower turns cold.

 

In the surprise of the century, Marcus Eaton shows up in the morning.

I walk along with Everly, planning on showing her how to look up the reports on the initiates. I'd decided to use her training the initiates with Four as a backup plan for when I was busy. She could accompany him during those times, and I'd know she was safe. I still didn't trust him as far as I could throw him, but he wasn't stupid enough to lose her a second time.

Plus, Rylan was still watching him.

I knew Four was down there now, toiling away with the class, blissfully unaware that his father was in the same faction as him. Normally, I'd take great delight in this. I'd find a way to make him squirm, knowing the rumors of how he'd escaped the wrath of this man, but today, I don't.

I find his arrival highly suspect, considering with everything going on, Abnegation had been quiet.

Too quiet.

"Who is he?" Everly asks stepping closer to me. She eyes Marcus with great interest, having no clue that his presence here isn't entirely welcome. He was the least liked out of anyone in Abnegation, and he flat out refused to allow us there half the time. There was also the dark, twisty little story that followed him around, that despite his deep concern for his faction, he was a piece of shit.

"He's the Leader of Abnegation. He's also Four's father." I glare at him, wondering why he's here. He'd been reluctant to attend Jeanine's trial, and he certainly hadn't done anything to help look for Everly.

She looks up at me in surprise.

"He's not exactly the selfless leader he pretends to be. You've already met his wife. His abuse drove her to leave and become factionless. But Evelyn's no prize, either, since she ran off and left Four behind to endure his father's beatings alone. She also let him think she was dead until not too long ago. Then she turned her sights on you."

I look down at her, and her eyes are wide.

Four's past wasn't something that she'd know about, but the look on her face tells me she's piecing everything together. She stares at Marcus with a dark expression, one that deepens the longer she looks at him.

I share it. I don't condone beating the shit out of a child, especially one who was trapped there alone, in a faction that wouldn't believe him even if he'd screamed it from the rooftops. I couldn't figure out why Evelyn had left Four behind with him, other than she was just as shitty as Marcus.

"Eric?"

Everly says my name just as Marcus turns to see us standing there. Max nods at me, and his expression is of utter disbelief. He side-eyes Marcus as I reach for Everly's elbow, and I decide I'll interrupt their little meeting. Max would be fine, but two against one was always better. I walk toward them, stopping right in front of Max's office door.

"What are you doing here?" I hiss at him, not bothering to even pretend to be polite. "You have no business here."

I slowly remind him of all the times he'd rejected our offer to patrol through Abnegation. All the times he'd dismissed our requests to investigate sightings in the faction. All those times he'd made decisions based off his own beliefs rather than what was best for his people.

There's a reason he's here, and I have no intention of helping him.

"I'm not here to see you," Marcus answers carefully. He looks somewhat hesitant, but there's a smugness behind it that lurks beneath his skin. "And actually, I am here on business. On behalf of Abnegation."

"Doubtful," I answer harshly. I turn to face Everly, bending down so I can catch her stare. "I'll see you for lunch, Everly. You and your friends can eat without me." I look right at her, unblinking, and I hope she gets what I'm about to say. "Tell them I'll see them around four o'clock to help them finish up their day."

She does. She nods her head, clutching onto my jacket and rising up to kiss my cheek.

"Okay. Want me to save you a sandwich?" She asks politely, and her eyes are a bright green. I shake my head, my lips turning up ever so slightly at her offer, and I have a hard time letting go of her.

But I have to. I turn back to Marcus and Max, and I smile darkly. "I have a free hour. I'd be more than happy to join you."

Max smiles politely.

Marcus doesn't look thrilled, and he shouldn't be.

 

 

I'm right.

His appearance is suspicious, but it's purposeful.

He's afraid.

He sits upright in his chair, pretending to be dignified, while he asks for our help. It's not out of worry for his faction, or fear that innocent victims will be hurt, it's to cover his own ass. He tells us he knows that Evelyn is up to something, and hints that because he's so benevolent, he's here to tell us she'll come for his faction next.

Specifically, him.

"You're afraid of your own wife?" I stare at him, watching him carefully. He's not fazed by much, and in fact, he seems to like the back and forth of arguing. He's careful not to come off as aggressive, and he's even more careful to make sure his words seem thoughtful and sincere. He plays the victim well, manipulating the situation to benefit him.

"I'm afraid things did not end well with her and I. There is little doubt she'll want penance for…how things turned out." He pauses, smiling in fake disappointment. "She was never cut out for Abnegation. She never truly understood our way of life. It left her angry. Bitter. That anger is now being aimed at us. Surely you understand why I'm worried."

"And you think she's going to attack…you? Specifically?" Max looks at me, then at Marcus. "I'm confused as to what you're asking for."

"We simply want protection. She could come for me. She could come for my neighbor. We need your help. I know you won't leave us to fend for ourselves."

I hate him.

Maybe more than Four.

I watch him speak confidently, but with just enough pleading mixed in to sound like he's been wracked with fear over this.

"Are you sure this doesn't stem from something else?" I ask, and he knows what I'm hinting at. "I have a hard time believing that a faction so cut off from everything is aware of what Evelyn is doing. We've been looking for her for some time now. No one has seen her, yet here you are, worried she's about to show up and hunt you down. That's a little…convenient, don't you think?"

Marcus' expression changes.

He presses his lips together to mask the annoyance washing over him, and beside him, Max nods.

I take it as my cue to run with it.

"You know where she is, don't you? That's why you're here. You know that we know what you did to her, and why you'd have reason to worry. Tell me, your faction has been safe for this long. Did you piss her off? Not give her something she wanted? Did you help her?"

This time, I lean in.

He leans back.

"I…"

"Where is she, Marcus? She's wanted for kidnapping one of our members. For committing crimes against the factions. For attacking and planning on attacking the factions in hopes of getting her way. I'd even go as far as saying she'd have gone after Jeanine if she'd had the chance." Max adds, and he follows my lead by leaning in. "Tell us what you want, Marcus. We all know you're certainly not a fan of our soldiers knowing your business."

"Amnesty." Marcus finally answers, and he looks right at me. "If you won't help me, then I want absolution when I have to protect my faction. I've done nothing to deserve what's coming."

"And what would that be?" I ask coldly, and I already know the answer.

Marcus meets my stare, and his expression is just as cold as mine.

"You'll see."

 

 

I could murder him.

I _should_ murder him.

It would be justice for all if he were to suddenly wind up dead, but I can't. I'm forced to watch him slink out of the office, his request for our help put on hold when he realized we weren't so clueless. I couldn't begin to fathom what he was planning. How he'd protect his faction. I doubted a single one of them would even have a clue how to fight, nor would they ever dream of aiming a gun and ending someone's life. They would be useless until it was over, making us look like we'd abandoned them in their time of need. Even worse, Marcus would go back, insisting we hadn't wanted to help.

I sit down in my office chair, and I immediately begin messaging Jack. I type furiously, telling him about Marcus and the audacity of him to come in here, acting innocent and defenseless, and I stop when I realize this has nothing to do with Jack. He may have helped with Jeanine, but that was it. I had no reason to involve him in the affairs of Abnegation. Or did I? Maybe he'd notice something I missed or have a brilliant idea that would help me end Marcus once and for all.

I stop my mental argument when Rylan comes in.

"How was your meeting? I heard we had a visitor today." He looks at me cheekily, and I notice he's dressed like he's come in from outside. "Jason said the guards didn't want to let Marcus in since no one knew why he was here."

"They shouldn't have." I retort. "He came here pretending to ask for help. He's suddenly nervous, and he wants us patrolling through Abnegation. I have every reason to believe he's afraid Evelyn will try to kill him."

"Good." Rylan takes the empty seat across from me, and shrugs. "Let her. Who the fuck cares if she kills him. She'd be doing us all a favor."

"True." I answer him, and I debate about closing out my email without sending it. "Either way, now we've got to keep an eye on him, too. He left pissed off when we didn't immediately agree with him. I suspect he's been in contact with Evelyn and something went wrong."

" _Greeeeaaatt._ " Rylan draws out the word, and I can tell he's not in here to ask me about Marcus. "Well, we could always send Karl that way. He'll be up for the challenge of being bored out of his mind. Or we could send Four back there."

I laugh.

Spitefully.

"Fine by me."

Rylan laughs, too. But he stops and the look on his face tells me he's about to ask me something serious.

I'm right.

"Hey, uh, how's Everly? You guys holding up okay?" He does his best to slip this in casually, and he smiles brightly at me. I'm immediately on edge thinking he knows something I don't.

"She's fine. Why?"

He shakes his head. "Calm down, killer. You can relax for a second. I was just wondering. Christina said she really can't remember anything. She thought maybe you were lying."

"Of all the things I could lie about, why would I choose that?" I blink, watching him shrug.

"I don't know. Maybe so no one could hang out with her? But hey, are things…is it weird?" He asks slowly. "That she can't remember. Because she looks like Everly, and she sounds like Everly, but…"

He trails off, and he's looking anywhere but at me. For once, I'm not entirely defensive at his questioning. I know it's a very valid concern, and I'm sure most people are wondering.

I just wish I had a better answer.

"Yeah," I sigh. "It's weird. She looks like her and she acts like her. But she just can't remember anything related to her and I. So while she's fine sleeping next to me and living with me, it's not the same. And as much as I want her to remember, there's nothing I can do. Sometimes I think she's about to remember moments or people, but then it's clear she can't and I'm stuck feeling like an asshole. I have her back, but I don't."

"That sounds…awful." Rylan looks sympathetic. "What if her memory doesn't come back. What if she never remembers what happened here? Do you think she'd leave? Or want to live elsewhere?"

I stare at him, and his words are the rudest thing he's ever said.

"No." I snap. "She'll remember. And even if she doesn't, then…she'll still stay with me. She's happy where she lives. Why would you even ask me that?"

"I don't know." He answers miserably. "I just want everything back to normal. Christina is bummed because Everly didn't remember that she took her shopping. You're bummed because I can only assume it's not easy to sleep with Everly but not sleep with her. Four looks like he could cry whenever I see him. Max replaced the coffee with some generic brand that tastes like shit. You're always with Harrison now. Everything is stupid."

He sounds extra sulky at that last part.

I decide to give in just a bit and tell him what he wants to hear.

And it's not about Harrison.

"Well, I'll tell you this. You're right. I have to sleep next to her every night, and I keep wanting to celebrate that she's alive, and I can't. I can't do anything because while she seems to like me, it's not the same as before."

Rylan frowns in confusion, but he nods. "I see."

"I came home the other night to what I think was her telling me it was fine if we slept together. I think if I gave in, I could sleep with her." I look right at him, and he perks up at this news. He would tell everyone he didn't like gossip, but knowing this, that I couldn't do anything more than kiss Everly goodnight was what he wanted to hear. I rarely spoke of this sort of thing, but I have to admit, it feels somewhat better to say it out loud. "I don't think it would be right, though. She's willing, but it's not the same Everly."

"Hold up." Rylan sits up straighter, and he pretends to look shocked. "You haven't slept with her, yet? I was just guessing because you look at her like you're about to explode with frustration. And I noticed you were being even more of an asshole than normal, and now I know why."

"She doesn't remember me. When she does remember me, you think that would go over well? Telling her we slept together because she couldn't keep her hands to herself or because I couldn't either?"

"Well, well, well." Rylan looks delighted now, and I smirk at how thrilled he is. "You should do it. Everly can't be mad at Everly for wanting to sleep with you. Blame it on her. She can't be mad at her own self."

"Sure, that sounds foolproof." I roll my eyes as he snickers, but I'm not at all mad. "And I haven't been an asshole to anyone. I've been nothing but polite."

"Uh yeah, Four's face says otherwise."

I pretend to mull it over, but it comes out in my favor either way. "Eh."

"So you really haven't gotten laid all this time? Huh. That must be really hard for you." Rylan grins at me, and I point to the door.

"Get out. I told you enough. Enjoy the rest of your day. We'll have dinner soon and I won't invite Harrison, either."

"Is your water bill sky high? Is that why we're running on conservation mode again?" Rylan keeps going but he stands up. "Because my shower was cold this morning and it was hard to wash my hair. Or are you using all the cold water as a way to distract yourself from..."

"I can kill you, too." I remind him, and he leaves smirking at my frustrated plight.

It doesn't matter.

I made it through thinking she was dead and I can make it for a few more weeks.

At least that's what I tell myself.

 

 

I might not make it through the night for other reasons.

Hours later, Tris and Four join us for dinner.

Everly tells me this as we walk home together. I'd told her about Marcus' visit, and she'd told me she'd talked with Four. I did my best to ignore the part when she said he questioned our relationship, but she seemed to think it was funny. Her fingers found mine as she grinned and told me she explained we spent a lot of time in bed, and Four didn't seem to like that.

It had made me smile knowing that was what she told him, until she told me she'd invited them for dinner.

"You want to invite them over to our apartment. To eat dinner? With us?" I answered flatly, watching her look up from beneath her eyelashes at me. She'd forgiven Four for nearly getting her killed much sooner than I'd hoped, and now I was stuck. I'd done my best to make myself crystal clear on how I felt about it, but the bottom line was, eventually- I'd need him as part of our plan to take down Evelyn.

I stared at Everly, frantically trying to think of a way to make this work. I could tell her no, because really, it was my apartment. I could tell Four to eat downstairs and we'd meet him later, but the look on her face told me she wanted them to come over. I realize I could always use this time to force more information out of him and consider it work. All without looking like I was giving in.

I could be productive and make Everly happy.

I decide that's my only option. They can come over, eat dinner, talk briefly, and I will submit these hours I have to spend with him as overtime.

To no one's surprise, they are incredibly uncomfortable once they show up. Perhaps it's knowing that I'd done my best to murder Four with my bare hands, or perhaps it's because neither of them have ever set foot in an apartment so nice before. But they both sit at the table silently, glancing around with funny looks on their faces.

I'd greeted neither of them.

I let Everly get the door, and it took every bone in my body to not bark at them to not touch anything. I would assume Tris lived in one of the shittier apartments, and I couldn't bring myself to care where Four lived. But I didn't want them snooping around here. I didn't want them in here at all. Everly, on the other hand, was practically beaming with excitement, and I couldn't tell her no once they'd arrived.

To my relief, they seemed to know I didn't want them here. They sit next to each other at the large dining room table, and every so often, Tris does her best to smile. It looks awful, but that's nothing new.

"This apartment is huge." Tris finally announces. Her eyes are wide, and she pauses with her fork in the air. Everly had brought them their plates, as I refused to serve either of them. "It's really nice."

I watch her, and I chew my spaghetti viciously, wishing they'd hurry up and be done already. It killed me to have them in here, and I'd rather they'd have eaten elsewhere. I'm sure they notice. They do their best to avoid my stare, and only Everly doesn't pick up on it. She smiles brightly, never looking happier than in this moment.

"Thank you." She answers, though she'd done nothing more than move in here. But I let it slide. I don't trust myself to speak, at least not yet.

Four squints at the kitchen counter, and before I can ask him if he needs glasses, he turns his stare to me. "Are all the leaders' apartments this big?"

I shrug. I knew they were; I'd been in both Jason and Rylan's. Max's. I'd never been to Harrison's but the idea was horrifying. Still, I don't want to answer him. I make him wait while I swallow my dinner, then I narrow my eyes at him. "No clue."

The apartment falls silent.

Everly and Tris exchange a glance between the two of them and I glare at both of them. Mostly Four.

"So, your class is going well?" Everly is as polite as ever. I stare at her while she speaks, still pretty and lovely and far too nice to be eating with the guy who'd sold her out just so he could hang out with his mother.

He nods his head, still as uncomfortable as ever. "They've all come pretty far. This first round of cuts will be the hardest, but it'll motivate some of them who are just sliding by."

I watch Four carefully out of the corner of my eye. I know the cuts are painful for him. Despite their low ranking scores, he had to feel as though he'd failed them somehow. I want badly to laugh at him, but I stay quiet because Everly keeps asking him questions as though we want to hear his inner most thoughts.

"Is it hard to cut them? Do you ever feel bad about it?" She looks very curious, and Four looks very reluctant to respond.

"Sometimes," Four finally answers, and he looks awfully sad for a moment. "But it has to happen."

I smirk, until my overly brave wife kicks me under the table. I glare at her, and I want to point out that he wouldn't even train her. "Of course the Stiff feels bad about cutting the initiates."

Four smiles politely. "I feel bad they won't get to live in their chosen faction. Obviously, we don't want them to fail. It's hard not to get attached to some of them, or to pick ones in whom we see potential. We only want them to succeed."

"Oh, you mean like Stella?" I point out, widening my eyes innocently. His face immediately darkens, and Everly glares at me.

"Eric," She hisses, not at all quiet. I smirk again, pleased when Tris has the nerve to look depressed at the one other female in the faction who found Four attractive.

He doesn't look pleased, either.

"Oh, you mean like how you married the one initiate you had to train?" He exhales the words sharply, and Tris elbows him and nearly knocks her drink over.

"Four!"

"I figured you were doing her. What made you finally figure out she was too young for you? Did she ask you to read her a bedtime story?" I mock him, fully unable to stop myself. I smugly glare at him over the table and I hope he leaves.

"For your information, Stella is nearly the same age as your wife. Did you forget about that?" Four snaps. He and I glare at each other, and Tris and Everly both freeze. I roll my eyes at how stupid he is. They're actually not. Everly is a year older than Stella, and five thousand times more mature than the girl who'd clung to Four like he was her only hope.

"That's different," I bark, slamming my fork down so I don't stab him with it.

"How is that different?" Four crosses his arms in front of his chest and he glances over at Tris. His expression is pure annoyance and he looks livid. "This was a terrible idea by the way."

"No, it wasn't. You two just need to stop," Tris announces, looking back and forth quickly. "You both share a common goal here. You need each other to take Evelyn down, and you both want the city to be safe. So stop acting like eight year olds and eat your dinner."

I want to stab her too. I've never liked her, but Everly does. I catch sight of Everly next to me, her hopeful expression at all of us eating dinner together fading away, and it's soul crushing. I know what she looks like when she's upset, and right now this is it. She doesn't look very happy at all. I realize that so far this is the only thing she's asked of me. To eat dinner with her one friend and the person she worked with and I was being an ass.

For a valid reason, but still.

I reluctantly decide to play nice, but it takes me a long time. While I make this decision, she reaches for my hand, and her tiny fingers slide through mine. They tighten, and I shrug, using my other hand to pick up a butter knife. It's not sharp, but it's all I have next to me.

"Fine." I bark and everyone turns to look at me.

"Fine." Four sulks, his immaturity on full display.

But once Four and I both agree, Everly and Tris relax. Everyone resumes eating but no one speaks.

"Whatever happened to Stella?" I finally ask, breaking the silence once I get sick of hearing everyone chew. "Is she still…here?"

"Is she?" Everly asks. Her hand leaves mine, and she reaches for her glass. "I don't remember her, but I'm assuming she was bad? Some of them down there the other day were…interesting."

"Yeah," Four looks up at the both of us. He swallows heavily and avoids looking at Tris. "She's still here. She's sort of, in the middle. She'll be fine if she keeps it up."

"Great." I answer brightly, hoping she stays here forever. "That's fantastic news."

Everly kicks me again, probably assuming I'm being sarcastic. But I'm not.

I take a long sip of my drink, wishing it were something stronger.

"I'm being nice." I point out for everyone, and I hope they are all taking notes. "I was very interested in Stella's future. I helped you pair her up to fight before…" I pause, and everyone waits. Everly looks up at me with wide eyes, and Four suddenly looks queasy. "Before Four could. I wanted you to do it, not him. I thought you'd catch on faster if you did it."

"Oh. That was nice." Everly smiles, and she narrows her eyes just the slightest. "Thanks for helping me, Eric."

She sounds sweet, and I smirk because I have the feeling she knows I was going to say something else. She takes another bite of her spaghetti, and when I look over at Four, he doesn't look so queasy anymore.

Good.

I may not like him.

I may never agree with him.

But I'll give him this, just so long as everyone realizes I am the bigger person.

 

 

An hour later, I'm forced to sit next to Four at my own dining room table, staring at the map Harrison had given me. For his own sake, Four only speaks when he has to, and he stays a reasonable distance away from me. He answers everything I ask, pointing out areas that we'd previously skipped over. I notice Harrison has marked a few of them, and I wonder how on Earth he figured them out.

I decide it's safer if I don't know.

Everly and Tris watch us under the guise of washing the dishes. I'm not stupid. I can hear them whispering and laughing, but for once, the sound is pleasant. They're both happy; neither Four nor I have hit the other, and we've made minimal progress.

Four and I both look up when they break out into loud laughter, shutting the cabinets as they work to put the plates away. I half expect them to all be broken or in the wrong place, but they look pleased with themselves so I leave them be.

"When we find her, I think we should shoot on sight."

I announce loudly, making sure Four hears that I'd like to make sure his mother is dead. He doesn't seem happy with this, and he suggests we wipe her memory clean. I glare at him, but he points out that while death is the ultimate punishment, it would be far worse for her to experience the same frustrations as Everly.

He brings up leaving her outside the fence, and I'm surprised he dare think of such a plan.

"You really think it's a good idea to leave her on her own? She's started one army. What's to stop her from starting another?"

"Even if there is something out there, she won't remember enough to be of any advantage if someone were to find her." Four points out. I mull this over, but I still like my own plan better.

"There are issues with the serums right now." I inform him, and I think of Erudite's missing shipment. "What if the serum doesn't work? What if she winds up remembering who she is? She could potentially become a threat again. Or are you too scared to let Mommy really have it?"

Four shrugs and sighs in annoyance that I'm smarter than him. "I guess there's no guarantee it will work properly. And she does deserve what's coming to her."

I recline back in the chair, pleased that he's given in a bit. While he technically has no say over how I deal with his mother, I can respect the fact that he's trying to be helpful. "We could keep her here. Or we could put her on trial in Candor. They'd find her guilty without question. Though, she'd probably be sentenced to execution."

Four falls silent. He stares at the map, at all the places he's been, working with her. I can see his eyes narrow at the locations in Candor, and he frowns. "Let me think about it."

"It's not that difficult of a decision. Your mother is out there, with enough of her hack serums to wipe out the population's memory. What's there to think about?" I snap the words at him, wishing he'd wake up.

To my annoyance, Four shrugs again. He looks over at Tris, then back at the map, then to Tris.

I follow his gaze over to Everly and Tris, and I narrow my eyes at them. They're both standing there, listening, and plotting something. I lean in close enough that only Four can hear me, and I lower my voice.

"You want her back? Then deal with this the way you should. Stop dragging your feet on the issue. Your mother clearly doesn't care about you any more than mine does, so there's no reason to be concerned over her wellbeing."

Four looks at me in surprise, probably because I've never spoken to him so kindly.

"You don't know what I want." He mutters, but I do.

He wasn't secretive the first time, and he isn't secretive now.

"Fine. Then do it because if you don't, I'll make sure you never see Tris again. I'll make sure someone else marries her even if I have to force them to, and you'll be forced to watch her live happily ever after. So just tell me I can kill your mother and that won't happen. How's that? Does that work for you?"

I hiss the words at him, and he throws me a dirty look.

"You have issues." He half hisses back, and I cross my arms over my chest.

"Say you agree."

What seems like hours later, he gives in. He leaves the sentencing of his mother up to me, though he makes me agree that it'll be fair, and not out of pure, cold revenge. He also agrees to go along with us to draw Evelyn out, and he'll practice with Harrison before we go.

I look up from the map to see Everly on the couch with Tris, sitting and watching some nonsense on TV. Four rises up wearily, looking like he's made a deal with the devil, and I smile smugly.

I can't help but feel rather satisfied at the way this night worked out, and I bask in my own accomplishment of being so smart to have arranged it.

I cheerfully walk them to the door, telling Four I'll see him later.

 

 

The feeling only continues when I find Everly in bed. By the time I brush my teeth and take my shirt off, she's already beneath the heavy comforter, lost in the second book of her series. She'd finished the first one quickly, then started on the second.

I would tell her she should read something productive, but she looks happy.

"Enjoying your book?" I ask lowly. I'm busy undoing the top button on my pants, and I kick them off to the side. I'll need to put them back on later, but that's fine.

I have something else I want to do right now.

Everly looks at me over the top of her book, and she smiles.

"I love them." She answers brightly. "Are there more?"

I smile at her, because she's quite the sight right now. She's already dressed for bed, and she looks completely content.

What a shame.

"A few more. "I think you only read the first four."

"How many are there?" She asks, but her gaze has dropped back to the pages in front of her. My knees hit the end of the bed before I climb onto it. It only takes a second to get to her. I easily yank the book away from her, tossing it to the side where it lands with a thud.

She looks at me in surprise, her lips parting open.

"Seven. Eight. I don't know."

I move over her. She's much smaller than I remember, and every illicit memory of the things we'd done together fills my mind. I think of her beneath me, sometimes on top of me, and my lungs tighten at the thought of how close I am to reliving all that.

But not yet.

I hover over her, until my knees are on the side of her, then I bend down. I'd been dealing with this struggle since she returned, and I'd give anything to give in to the urge right now. Telling Rylan about it had only made it worse. Seeing her in my bed, completely happy after our day has only made it worse.

Her exposed skin, not so much intentional, but completely innocent makes it worse.

My cheek brushes against hers, and I bypass her lips because once I kiss her, we won't make it out of this bedroom in time.

"So pretty." I mumble against her hair, and I flash back to her thinking she was going to seduce me before she fell asleep. I let myself push closer to her, until my thighs touch hers, and her hands find my biceps.

"Um." She blurts out the word when my mouth finds her jaw, and I close my eyes.

Everything slows down.

I kiss her slowly, careful not to leave a single mark. I can feel her pulse quicken, her fingers tighten on my arms, and her breathing become erratic as I give her what she's wanted. I work my way along her jaw, stopping when my nose touches hers. I think of how she'd kissed me in the living room. How she'd thrown her arms over me, yanking me to her. How she was never afraid of me, not even questioning that I had arrived to take her to Dauntless. I press my lips to hers, and my thoughts turn themselves off.

I kiss her, and that's all I can think of.

She stays still for a few seconds. Blissful, drawn out, what should be boringly chaste kissing, my lips against hers, soft and warm.

Then she tries to move, attempting to push her legs up so they can wrap around me. I bite her lip in response, and things spark between us. Hot. Slow. Enough.

My world is only her.

I break away to kiss her cheek, rising up slightly, and I find the edge of her nightgown. The fabric slips between my fingers, just as soft and sweet as she is. I yank it upward, not high enough, but it'll do. My hands find her bare skin, greedily skimming over her ribs, taking my time to relish how good it feels to touch her again.

She makes a soft sound of satisfaction when my fingers brush higher, and I smirk as I bend down to kiss her again.

"You ready to remember, Amity?"

Her nails dig into my skin, and she nods her head.


	32. Giving Up or Giving In?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO MUCH to Bamberlee for editing this chapter. 
> 
> Thanks for everyone's patience on this lovely, freezing, busy ass Friday. I hope you enjoy this chapter and I hope you all have a lovely weekend & Christmas! Thanks for reading and reviewing! 💜

She's warm beneath me.

I can feel the exposed skin of her stomach against my own, and it's with great relief do I push myself closer, finally settling on top of her. After all this time, it feels just like it always has: this pulsing, longing want between us, finally getting somewhere.

I revel in this for a moment, thinking of how nice it'll be when I can finally tear her nightgown off her, and then the pretty little fabric she'd thought would pass for underwear would join it on the floor.

Everly seems to be thinking of something along the same lines. She nods her head, her nails scraping at my skin, and she scratches harder when I lazily kiss her throat.

"You ready to remember, Amity?"

I smirk against her skin as she moves without hesitation.

This would be my Everly. The one who'd never once doubted what she felt for me, and never once tried to pretend otherwise. She slides her hands up, skimming over my shoulders, up my neck, until they reach my hair. I pause while she digs them in, ready to yank my head back to her.

She's primed to continue this, but unfortunately for her, I can't.

"Sorry, you'll have to wait another week." I push myself off her with great force. It takes everything in me; her skin is flushed and pink, her lips are parted, and her eyes are wide.

"What?" She gasps the word, sitting up immediately. Her cheeks are bright red now from the rush of blood, and she quickly shoves her nightgown back down. "Why did you stop?"

She looks lovely.

Delectable.

Like my wife who had spent a month torturing me in my own bed before I gave in to her.

"Oh, you don't like being teased like that?" I recline back on my heels, watching her expression darken. It was clear that she thought something else was happening. Something to do with her tiny outfit and her seductive sleeping habits.

"No," She sounds cranky, delightfully frustrated. "I don't."

Good.

Now she knows how I've felt since the very first day she wandered in here.

"Then stop your little games. No more coming to bed half-dressed. Go back to wearing my shirts," I answer just as crankily, and her gaze jerks up to mine. "You spent your whole training doing the same thing. Do I need to remind you of the time I woke up to your hands down my boxers?"

She swallows, but she doesn't break my stare.

I can tell she doesn't remember, but she'd like to. I know the order of events in regard to how our relationship unfolded must feel fascinating to her. To know she'd won out over everyone, without even trying, but not knowing how she did, had to be maddening. I watch her fix her nightgown, and when she looks up at me, her head tilts to the side as she sulks. I can see it in the way she reluctantly covers herself back up, and I know she's feeling the same rush of cold air over her skin that I am.

I'd much rather climb back on top of her than what I'm about to do.

"I know what you want." I stare at her pointedly, hoping this will make it easier for the both of us. "But I'm not touching you until you can either remember everything, or we conclude that you won't ever remember."

"That's hardly fair. I didn't stop you," Everly protests, surprisingly worked up over me not taking things any further. "I'm married to you. And it could be forever until either of those things happens."

"And?" I snap, not wanting to think of that. "There's a lot you aren't remembering."

"Who cares?" Everly says the words angrily, far more angrily than I've ever heard her say anything in the entire time I've known her. "I've been patient enough. Were you like this before?"

I blink at her. I know she's frustrated, but I'm certainly not parading around half dressed while she sat and watched. Or shoving myself against her all night long, with my fingers always slipping away right before they fall where she wants them to.

To top it off, her words sound like an insult.

"I have excellent self-control. You, obviously, do not." I point out loudly.

She can't argue with me there. She lets out a huff of exasperation and crosses her arms over her chest. "Fine. We'll see who has more self-control."

"Good." I smirk at her, but deep down, I hope she understands my reasoning. No matter how badly I want to sleep with her, it's not happening. Not yet.

She clearly doesn't.

She tilts her head again and looks up at me from beneath dark eyelashes.

"At the very least you could kiss me goodnight."

My self-control falters the same way the thin straps of her nightgown do.

I'm back on top of her before she can blink, kissing her fiercely. But only for a moment. She's not about to get anything more, nor is she about to go to sleep. I pull back when she leans in, and her eyes widen in dismay for the second time.

"See," I feel triumphant as I smile at her, knowing she's not thrilled at all right now. "Trust me, if I had my way, we wouldn't be waiting. But you've made some decisions that I'd prefer you remember before this goes any further."

Something must make sense, because she sighs and nods her head. "Fine. I guess I'll just go to bed then."

She leans back against the pillows, tugging the strap back in place. She looks at me expectantly, and I can only smirk even wider.

"Don't get too comfortable. It's time for us to head out for your favorite training exercise."

"And what is that?" She sounds wary, and she should. The last time I dragged her out of a warm bed for this, she hated it.

I suspect tonight will be the same.

"War Games."

I smile brightly at her, both of us nearly undressed now and equally frustrated, and to no one's surprise, she doesn't smile back.

 

 

The train is late.

We wait in the cold, surrounded by the newest class of initiates. Unlike Four's last class, they are decently behaved. They are more tired than anything, having been dragged here after a long day of training, and most seem impatient to get going.

Everly seems to share that feeling.

She stands next to me, dressed entirely in black. She'd reluctantly climbed out of bed to find something to wear, but she'd smiled when she'd pulled my hoodie on. Her leggings probably weren't warm enough, nor was the thin, long sleeved shirt she'd grabbed. But for once, she doesn't look cold, and she nudges my arm while we wait.

"Where are we going?" She does her best to whisper. All around us, initiates are listening, but most are busy trying to guess where we're going. They're all wrong, but I don't tell them that. I take great joy in listening to them guess incorrectly, and I'll take greater joy when I shoot down half of them.

"It's a secret, Amity."

She pretends to scowl at me, but she steps closer as the wind picks up. I grow even more impatient when the train doesn't arrive when I expect it, and I turn to find the one responsible for it.

"How much longer?" I ask Four.

He gives me a dirty look in response, but he glances down at the watch on his wrist. "It should be here any minute." He then looks up and shakes his head. "You ever gonna bother learning the train schedule? I figured you'd know it by now."

I glare at him, the fleeting speck of bonding over the upcoming death of his mother now gone. "I have more important things to worry about."

I don't wait to hear his answer. The train arrives at that exact second; it roars in out of nowhere, and a few initiates step back in surprise. I nod over at Four to get started, and he takes off, narrowing his eyes at me. He runs until he can jump, and he lands on the small platform without much trouble. He then throws the door open, and waves at everyone to follow him.

They don't have long.

If they don't jump soon, they'll miss the train and receive no credit for tonight's activities.

They all must know this. The initiates rush as fast as they can, leaping without looking; a few are afraid of falling to their death, more are afraid of what happens if they miss the train. Everly and I watch the fiasco unfold in front of us, and I know we have a few seconds to wait. When the last of Four's class has gone, I grab Everly's elbow, and jerk her back a step to give her enough space to run.

"Now."

I have full confidence she'll be fine.

I take off quickly. I'm ahead of her, but I reach back until I can grasp her hand in mine. Her eyes are wide with excitement as she catches up, and I can't help but appreciate how happy she looks. I wait until she's right next to me, and she jumps at the exact same time I do. I make sure to keep a tight grip on her, and we land together. I shove her inside immediately, but I don't let go of her hand.

She doesn't let go of mine, either.

The inside of the car is hot and crowded. Jeremy stands next to Four, avoiding my stare. The class is everywhere, crammed into the longest car on the train, and they do their best to make space for each other. Everly sticks close to my side, bumping into me as the train turns left, and she relaxes when the train straightens out again.

"What are we doing?" She whispers, but it's lost in the sea of initiates.

"You'll see."

For the moment, we take in being surrounded by everyone. The unsteady feeling of the train rushing down the tracks, the shift of gravity as it picks up speed, the buzz of nervousness rushing through the air. Despite not knowing where they're going, they know it's going to be good. Something useful. Purposeful.

Real.

Four yells an announcement that's lost in the crowd, and he repeats it again, until a few people catch on.

Once everyone has quieted down, Four begins talking.

I tune him out.

I know his speech by heart. I watch him drone on while he explains what we're doing. There are a few shrieks of excitement and plenty of low murmurs. He reminds them not to shoot anyone in the face, and he shifts his weight when he explains they'll be divided up. He pauses to look at me, and I can see his dismay over the class's excitement that some of them will end up on my team.

"Eric?" He says my name flatly, giving me the chance to start the selection process.

"You can pick first," I retort cheerfully, and I decide this might actually be fun. I can make sure he suffers defeat at my hands, and I can be home earlier than the last time I was forced to go along with him.

It's also a nice distraction from the fact that in a few days, I'll hunt his mother down and kill her.

Not a distraction for me.

For him.

For me, this might as well be another night of showing who's the superior soldier.

"Alright." Four looks around quickly, and his beady little eyes fall right to me. "Everly."

"Try again," I snap, and I quickly lose my patience toward him. He must have had a few drinks before coming down here, because he's more stupid than normal.

"You said I can pick first. Who knows, this time maybe you won't cheat," Four answers back, and I decide to smile at him. Widely. He better watch out, or I'll make sure Tris finds him incredibly unappealing.

He seems to pick up on my thoughts, because he looks away abruptly, and looks down at the floor.

"Did you cheat last time?" Everly asks curiously. I look down at her, smirking at her confusion.

She has no clue that she lost the game for him the first time, and if the past few nights are any indication, I'll have no problem using her to win this time, too.

"I didn't have to. You willingly handed the flag over to me. But it's alright. Go join the Stiff and we'll see who wins this time." I shove her forward a step. My hand brushes against hers when she walks away, and Four watches with an unimpressed look on his face. I would guess he's suddenly remembered that she hadn't been the star player of his team last time, and his decision to piss me off so early might not have been so smart after all.

I keep an eye on Everly as she works her way through the mass of initiates; she's much shorter than everyone on the train, and a few heads turn to watch her. When she finally stops and stands next to Four, he bends his head down, and I smile brightly when he mumbles something to her.

Probably not to hand the flag over to me.

I know I'm right, because she looks like she's trying not to laugh when our eyes meet.

I hold her stare, not really smiling or smirking, but just looking at her. She looks pretty even in the low lighting, happy and healthy, and those around her seem overjoyed to see her.

I call out the name Easton, and the largest boy in the group happily heads toward me. Four watches him like a hawk, and I can tell by the way he presses his lips together he's not thrilled. Just like last time, I'd had Jason pull the class rankings, and I knew who the strongest and fastest initiates were. If Four wanted to start off by taking Everly from me, then I'd make sure I took all his best possible choices first.

"Bert." Four calls out a name loudly, and it's not long before the initiates are split. After surveying who's left, I bark at Jeremy to head my way. He nods, but he walks over with little enthusiasm. He's been quiet since I last saw him, displeased with being given actual work, and not at all wanting to be anywhere near me.

I can tell he's not happy at all to have been forced along. Though I'm a better choice than Four, he's not enthused to join my team, especially knowing I am suspicious of him.

I make it easy for him. I ignore him when he lumbers by, because everyone else seems utterly thrilled to have been chosen by me.

They should be.

What feels like hours later, the train begins to slow down as we approach our jumping point. Four heads to the door, looking around to make sure everyone can hear him.

"Everybody get ready!"

They don't listen.

They rush toward the door as though he's yelled fire. He barely makes it out before everyone begins to jump. I shove my way through the group, pushing them out of my way without looking at them. I find Everly right before it's her turn, and I grab her arm. My fingers curl around it, wanting to hold her back and have her jump with me, but I won't.

I know she'll be just fine.

"Good luck, Amity. I'll see you real soon." I bend down to whisper to her. I know the boys next to her are watching as my lips touch her ear, but when she smiles widely, I find myself not caring. I catch one whiff of her shampoo, then she's gone; she leaps from the train easily, landing on her feet. I watch her regain her balance, smiling proudly that she didn't fall over, and my team waits until they've vanished from our sight.

After a quick few seconds of silence, I call out for them to jump.

I land first, followed by the few boys I'd selected at the beginning. My boots hit damp land, sinking in as I step toward where Four's team will be heading. I'd graciously given him a head start. I suck in a breath of sharp air, enjoying the way it seems to burn my lungs. The night sky is pitch black, and a few comment that the air is colder than at Dauntless. I glance over my shoulder as Jeremy struggles to catch up, and it's not long before the entire team surrounds us.

"What's the plan?" Jeremy asks, and he sounds somewhat more enthused now. Maybe the fresh air has given him a new perspective on life, or the thought of being on the winning team has cheered him up. Either way, I raise my eyebrow at him, and I gesture for my team to come closer.

When they stop in front of me, I shove the flag at the first kid I see. I don't care who it is, because we won't be losing.

"Listen up!" I bark at them. I point to the row of buildings that are somewhat lit up; even from a distance we can see the outline of them in the moonlight, and beyond them lie the broken down rides. "We're heading toward the pier. There, you will find Four's team, cowering like a bunch of toddlers as they try to hide. Our goal is simple: we see them and we shoot without question. When they've all been taken out, we find the flag, and we return home winners."

"How will we know where they are?" Someone yells out, and I smile.

"The pier is home to a bunch of run down, rotting buildings. They'll be hiding in there. Because there's nowhere else to hide. Keep in mind they will be looking for us, but the key is that we are going to shoot first. So, forget if it's your friend, or your cousin, or your worst enemy out there. If you see them, aim and fire."

"What if it's your wife?" Someone else yells.

"Is she really your wife?" Another yells, and I laugh into the darkness.

"She is." I answer with great delight. "And to clarify, you shoot my wife, and I'll shoot you for real." I motion over my shoulder, and I point toward the buildings. "Let's go!"

"You'll really shoot them if they shoot Everly?" Jeremy questions, and he keeps up with me. We walk over a few bumbling weeds, and he hops when his boot catches on something. "Really? Isn't she on the other team?"

"Fine. Shoot her if you want and you'll find out." I suggest. We near the building much faster than I'd expected and I turn to my team. "One final bit of advice for you. Look around and memorize where you are. You won't have long to figure out the best vantage points, but don't worry. They won't be hidden that well. Don't get tripped up, and don't hesitate. This is about working with your gut reaction, and knowing it'll be right." I pause, and I can feel their eyes on me. "Also, my wife has the flag. Don't be stupid enough to think Four will give it to anyone else. I'll take care of her though it's doubtful she'll be hiding with the rest. You gun the rest down, you take Four down, and we go home victorious."

My words must be the inspiration they've been missing. They let out a war cry, a cheer so loud it vibrates into the Earth, and I smile darkly.

"Let's go."

 

 

Of course, I'm right.

My wife sits on top of the carousel, not even hidden, looking bored out of her skull.

I highly doubt this is where Four wants her to be, but Everly's never been one to hang back. I smile automatically when I spy her, perched atop one of the dilapidated horses, though I'm surprised she's sitting on it. Not because it's out in the open, but because the thing looks like it might fall apart if you breathe near it. The mirrors above the platform are smeared with dirt and grime, and the cracked parts reflect everything in nightmarish multiples. The horses are all varying heights, frozen back in a time when people rode this for fun, and Everly sits on one of the lowest ones, listening as the night is filled with shrieks of both laughter and defeat. Gun shots ring out here and there, and she cocks her head to the side when someone yells out 'FUCK' rather loudly.

I hope it's Four.

I walk slowly, stepping onto the rickety platform carefully. When my boots don't go right through it, I step up completely, and head toward her.

I watch Everly kick at the horse as I walk up, and she's oblivious to me behind her. I reach out and grab her arm, and she falls backward in surprise. She shrieks, yelping into the night until she hits my chest. I feel her tense up, completely unprepared to fight off whoever has just taken hold of her, but she relaxes as soon as I push my nose into her neck. My lips follow, and her skin is ice cold.

"It's really good to see you again."

I lazily announce the words into her skin, wanting nothing more than to take her home right now. I kiss her slowly, moving her hair out of the way, and she sighs when she leans back further.

"Hi, Eric." She reaches back for me, doing her best to hold on. Her arms are at an awkward angle, but one hand finds my hair, pulling me closer to her.

I smile in the dark, listening to someone from my team take out another of Four's.

"Hand over the flag, Amity." I speak slowly, leaving her neck to look up past her. I see nothing but Four's defeat, and a few of my men rushing through one of the buildings.

"I don't have it," Everly answers immediately, though she sounds very unconvincing.

But her voice is warm and low, and she doesn't move an inch. One of my arms slides down around her waist, and I hold her against me so she won't try to run. Or fall. But mostly run, because it's obvious to me she has the flag on her.

"Now, why don't I believe you?" I play dirty, leaning down to kiss her cheek. I linger there, then steady her upright and let her go. She reaches out to grasp onto the horse's head, watching me walk around to the front of her.

I look down at her, still clinging to the horse, still smiling up at me. I step forward, until her boots touch my legs, and I smile.

Widely.

"I know you have it." I announce, making sure her stare is locked on mine. "So hand it over, and you and I can go home." I watch her expression carefully, seeing the amusement creeping up on her face. She watches me back, her eyes never leaving mine. "You can sleep in my bed."

"I already sleep in your bed," She answers quickly. Unimpressed with my bargaining skills. "And if I had the flag, that wouldn't be enough to make me hand it over."

She's as entertaining as ever.

I bend down, and I place both of my hands on her waist. I could easily pull her right off the horse, but instead, I lean in, until my nose is against hers.

"Hand over the flag, Everly, and I'll make it worth your while." I close my eyes when I kiss her. Her lips are cold, and her fingers are too. They slide through my hair, digging in to pull my head down to hers.

"How?" She mumbles against my lips, not at all concerned about her team. Somewhere to the side of us are people yelling. The shrieks grow closer, some born out of triumph, and some born from pain as they're shot. My fingers creep up her side, slowly until they can curl in, and I pretend to be thinking.

"I'll take your nightgown off, and I guess you'll find out."

My words are just what she wants to hear. She leans forward, completely into me, and I forget that I'm not supposed to be kissing her. Or doing anything involving taking her clothes off. All I can think is fuck it, until I hear someone screaming in defeat.

"FOR GOD'S SAKE, EVERLY!"

"Oh good. He's here." I break away from her slowly, the warmth between us vanishing. When I look back, I see him sprinting, weapon drawn and an adorably determined look on his face.

"GET AWAY FROM HIM!"

I wave.

I see his finger move to pull the trigger, but before he can get a clean shot in, my team springs out of nowhere. They ambush him, surrounding him as if they've been practicing this. His eyes widen in surprise, and they shoot him. Over and over, until he stumbles.

He still doesn't give up.

"Everly, GO!" He's still yelling, but Everly turns to me with a look of faux innocence.

"He seems mad."

Everly looks up at me, and I can't help but let out a bark of dark laughter.

"He should be. He just lost. Thanks, Amity."

I let go of her, and I take a step back. I wait until they're all looking at me before I thrust my hand into the air, waving the flag back and forth. My team immediately lets out a whoop of celebration at the sight of the flag in my hand. They trample over Four to come near me, high fiving each other and screaming at their victory.

I offer a rare and honest congratulations to the ones who shot Four, and I turn around to catch a glimpse of Everly.

She's watching with a very interesting look on her face. She doesn't look disappointed, or even upset that she lost, but rather like she's experiencing this for the second time.

I wink at her from a distance, and she smiles back widely as she hops down off the horse.

This was almost the exact same way I'd won last time, though this time, I actually kissed her.

 

 

The train ride back is the loudest one so far.

My team celebrates the entire time. They are boisterous and cheerful, even at the late hour, still high off the rush of their victory. I smirk as they mill around me, looking my way every so often. I do manage to actually smile along with a few of them, but I tell them I have to give credit where credit is due.

Four taught them how to shoot, and they'd done well.

Still, he looks rather despondent by the time we arrive back in Dauntless.

"Sorry, Four." Everly stands next to him while we wait to jump off, but the look on her face says she's not that sorry. It's an impatient look, like she's desperate to get home so she can put her nightgown on and I can take it off.

Too bad I'm going to bed.

"It's alright." Four rubs at the back of his neck for a minute before he looks over at me. He should be thanking me for going along with him. Both Rylan and Jason hadn't wanted to go, and only Harrison had volunteered. "I'll see you around."

I smirk at him, reaching for Everly's hand. Together, we walk back to the apartment, and she cheerfully heads to the bedroom.

So do I.

I brush my teeth, shove my boots in the closet, and climb into bed. I'm asleep before she can even join me, and I dream of nothing but my sweet victory from tonight.

And Everly.

 

 

I wake up because Everly is not asleep.

She wasn't quite so different from her normal self, except at times like this. I open my eyes to her doing her best to wiggle away from me. Her palms are pressed against her eyes, and her shoulders are up high. She's swallowed up by the pillows and comforters, and she seems to disappear into them as she takes a shaky breath and does her best to calm down all while pushing herself further from me.

I'm slow to catch on to what's happening, but I had gone to bed confident that we'd both sleep easily. I hadn't been awake when she'd gone to bed, but things had been fine. She'd been happy on the walk home, thinking she was finally going to get her way, but I'd fallen asleep before she'd finished getting ready for bed.

Now I awake to her in front of me, her head leaving my chest and her legs sliding out from beneath mine. My arm is thrown over her in an attempt to keep her against me while we slept, and my leg is over hers, heavy and unmoving.

I awake slowly, blinking into the darkness. My instinct is to pull her back further into me, so I do. I don't want her away from me, not now. Not when something is bothering her. I tense my arm around her waist and she moves easily, collapsing backward at my movement.

I bend my head down, and my nose touches her hair.

"What's wrong?"

I ask her quietly, not wanting to startle her. I can feel her panic with each breath she takes, so I stay still, giving her a chance to speak when she's ready. The silence is heavy in the room, almost louder than if I'd screamed the words. When she doesn't answer, I close my eyes and let my head rest against hers. If she doesn't want to tell me, that's fine, too. Before I can feel insulted, I feel her arm move. She searches until she finds my fingers, then slides hers through mine. While not at all unusual, this action feels desperate, as if she feels the need to hold onto me.

Another second passes, and her grip tightens.

"I just…. I had this dream and …I don't… I don't know."

I yank her back against me fully. Really, there wasn't any space between us before, and there's none now. She's close enough that I'm almost on top of her, but it's not close enough. There is a familiarity to her panic, one I've experienced several times over, and I wish I could get rid of it. "What was your dream?"

She swallows heavily and shakes her head. "I just miss you. And I miss remembering us."

Her words crack at the end. She immediately stops talking and pushes back against me. I can feel her shut down, and I silently swear to find Evelyn and rip her limb from limb. To find her and her army, and make sure every single one of them pays. Any person involved, even if they so much as looked at Everly.

Because no matter what I do, or how patient I am, I cannot return her memories to her.

I can make new ones. I can show her every inch of Dauntless, I can retrain her until she's lethal and deadly and not so sweet. I can force everyone in the faction to be patient with her, or pretend that things are just fine, and her not remembering is just fine. If I'm lucky, I can trick her into falling in love with me a second time and accepting the fact that I'll never let her out of my sight again, nor will she leave the compound without me.

I can kill Evelyn. Her army. Her soldiers. I can burn Evelyn's home to the ground. Make her men pay for what they did. Make sure she bleeds for what she's done, and just when she thinks it's over, I'll keep going.

But it'll never be enough.

Not if I can't give Everly what she wants.

I sigh into her hair, hair that smells like it normally does, and I close my eyes tightly.

I would give anything in the world for her to remember, but I can't. There's nothing I can do other than wait this out with her and hope for the best. My fingers tighten through hers, I speak slowly, with more heaviness than I intend.

"I miss us, too."

My words are selfish and probably of no comfort to her.

But she doesn't move other than nodding her head and holding onto my hand tighter and tighter. At some point, her fingers loosen their grip and her breathing slows down enough that I know she's falling asleep.

I do my best to fall asleep with her, but it's not so easy this time.

 

 

The text messages come in one word at a time.

My phone vibrates so many times it nearly falls off the nightstand, and I grab it just as it teeters on the edge. I open the messages without looking, and I squint blearily at them, wondering who on Earth is up at three in the morning.

****

****

__

__

I.

Heard.

You.

Won.

Tonight.

Congratulations.

I silently curse Harrison, but the sentiment is nice. I text back YES in all capital letters so he knows not to respond, but he does anyway.

****

****

_I._

_Knew._

_You._

_Would._

_Is._

_Esperanza._

_Safe._

_Also._

_Heard._

_She._

_Went._

_Too._

_Not._

_Great._

_News._

_If._

_She's._

_Not._

_Back._

_This._

_Will._

_Change._

_Our._

_Plans._

I type back YES again, but he keeps going.

****

****

_Eric._

_Is._

_Esperanza._

_Back._

_Yes._

_Or._

_No._

_You're._

_Surprisingly._

_Shitty._

_At._

_Texting._

I give up.

I sit up in bed, doing my best not to disturb a sound asleep Everly, and I rub my eyes. I untangle myself from her with great annoyance, slipping out of bed and heading down the hallway. I call him when I reach the kitchen, and he answers on the first ring.

"Why the hell are you calling me so late? It's three in the morning." Harrison immediately questions and I raise my eyebrow at my kitchen stove.

"You've sent me a bunch of messages. Why are you up?" I rub at my forehead and sigh. "You know what, never mind. I don't want to know what you're doing or why you're texting me."

"Well good. I wasn't going to tell you anyway. I only wanted to make sure she was back. I didn't drive all the way to Amity to let Four lose her in the bogs down by the pier."

I stay silent, not knowing how or why he knew she'd been on Four's team, but also not entirely awake.

"Eric? Is Esperanza back? I need to make sure of this because if not, we have some work to do. And I'd like to sleep at some point tonight."

"Wouldn't we all?" I mutter, but he doesn't hear me.

"ERIC. IS SHE BACK?"

"Yes…Everly is back." I answer dully, and he coughs.

"Who?"

"My wife." I hiss, refusing to call her Esperanza, even if he did go with me to find her.

"The one we went to Amity for?" Harrison interrupts, and I regret ever clicking on his messages.

"No, my other wife." I retort. "How many wives do you think I have?"

"I don't keep track of your social life. Either way, as long as she's back, that's all I needed to know." Harrison then says something…to someone that I can't quite make out, but I swear I hear the words 'we're good to go', and my eyes widen.

"What are you doing? Where are you? HARRISON." I say his name loudly, but it's too late. He cheerfully tells me to have a good night and hangs up before I can say another word.

When I try to call him back, he declines my phone call.

The second time, he blocks my number.

I stand in my kitchen, phone in hand, for once unable to come up with a single logical explanation as to what was going on.

I was starting to feel like that was nothing new.

 

 

The night is not kind to me.

I wake up in a horrible mood.

Despite not having to be at work at any particular time, I'm up earlier than I'd like after sleeping for far less than I'd like. I eat a quick breakfast, shower, comb my hair, and dress all while Everly sleeps. Eventually, she wakes up right before I'm about to leave, and she looks just as miserable as I feel.

I stare at her while she sits in bed, watching me watch her.

Whatever her nightmare was hadn't done either of us any good. She looks beyond tired, and her skin looks even paler as she looks anywhere but at me. I stand by the edge of the dresser, watching her pull the comforter up with a heaviness that tells me nothing is going to be better. My joy from watching Four's face fall when he lost the War Games is slowly fading away, especially right now.

"Are you not getting up?" I very carefully ask her, knowing full well she doesn't have to. She has nowhere she has to be, and no one to report to other than me. She looks up briefly, defeat all over her face, and her gaze falls back to the sheets.

"I don't know what I should be doing," she answers. She sounds despondent, and I press my lips together. I had figured I'd go in and try to find out what Harrison was doing, and hopefully it had something to do with Evelyn. If all else failed, I could always take Everly to Erudite and see if Daniel knew anything. Maybe there was some test he could run, or some sort of miracle pill someone had just invented that she could swallow and suddenly her memories would be back.

Or we could stay here and do nothing.

She looks up again, and the strap of her nightgown slides right off her shoulder.

"Do you have to go to work today?"

I stare at her. She's nothing but big green eyes peering up at me, and a mess of lovely dark hair. I could stay here. I could climb back in bed with her, forgetting my plans to check in on what Harrison may or may not be blowing up.

"No."

I step toward the bed, watching as she lifts her chin up so her gaze finds mine. We lock eyes, and she tilts her head as though she's just thought of something.

She has.

She shoves the covers away suddenly, rising up to sit on her knees so she's more eye level with me. When she's satisfied, she leans forward, and smiles.

"Teach me how to fight."

I smile down at her, and I know exactly what to do.

 

 

To my delight, she punches first.

Everly brushes her hair out of her eyes and tries to catch her breath, but the look on her face is one of determination. She fixes her stance, waiting for me to make my move.

"Harder. You're gonna have to hit me harder than that." I raise my eyebrow at her, baiting her on. "Tired already, Amity?"

I'd brought her down to the training room.

Teaching her to fight had not been on my to do list. For starters, the idea that she had to relearn everything felt like a slap to both our faces. Reteaching all the tricks I'd shown her, the skills she'd easily learned, and the knowledge of how to use her size to her advantage felt cruel. Like we'd gone back to the very beginning, except this time, the outcome wouldn't be the one I wanted.

But I was wrong.

It started when we walked into the training room. The stares from her own class were fast and furiously thrown in our direction, and almost every head turned toward us. But we weren't there to watch them or assist Four like they were assuming. We were there to work out, and I had figured I'd take her right back to where it all started.

I paid little attention to them. They were busied with whatever Four had assigned them to do, but they snuck furtive glances in our direction, because of course, we were more interesting than anything Four could show them. The ones who hadn't been on my team backed away from us when we walked by. They looked scared, as though perhaps I'd come after them if I realized they'd been on the other team. Some stepped toward us, nodding in recognition.

I ignored most of them.

I brought Everly over to where the initiates fought to stay here, gave her a few basic commands, and decided to see what she remembered. To both of our surprise, it seemed like somewhere, deep down inside of her, she hadn't forgotten. Her hair might have been pulled up differently, and she might not have remembered the first few times I'd sparred with her, but that was it.

She still had the proper form, the basics of what she was expected to do, and the instinct that would help her take down her opponent. The first hour was easy; back and forth, my hands skimming over her sides, pushing and adjusting her into place. I could sense when she'd grown impatient with this, her complacency sliding through when she'd had enough, and that was when the real fighting began.

She fought just as hard this time.

I wondered if she remembered that I hadn't gone easy on her during her training. Just because I'd found her attractive didn't mean she had a free pass, and I certainly hadn't made things easy for her. I'd gotten more than a few punches in, and while she was never bruised enough that someone would think I hurt her, there was a chance she'd gone home sore. There had always been a level of understanding between us; I'd help her so long as she did her best and she was expected to do her best. The minute I thought she was slacking, I was done.

It had never come to that, and even now, the look in her eyes tells me her goal is to knock me down.

"Are you afraid?" I watch her intently, noticing the funny expression blossoming on her face. It happened from time to time, and I wondered if it was her brain trying to remember things. Did she know she'd fought against me? That we'd sparred late into the night, until her head slammed into the mat and I crashed down on top of her? Did she know she'd showered beside me in the trainer's locker room, having victoriously taken down one of Four's own initiates after he did his best to get under her skin?

Did she know how unfair it was that all of these things had taken place here, right beneath her very feet.

She shakes her head to tell me she's not afraid, and the next thing I know, her fist connects with my jaw. She's used my distraction to her own advantage, and it only spurs me on.

"Oh, are you ready for some real fighting now?" I don't wait for her to answer me. I can see a few from Four's class watching, impressed that she's brave enough to punch me in the face. But it didn't hurt. In fact, she'll have to try a lot harder than that to stop me. I lunge for her before she can react, and I kick her feet out of the way. She falls down easily; her head hits the mat with a thud, and someone makes a dramatic gasp from the side.

They do have a point; after every time she's hit her head, I suppose I should be careful.

I decide she's fine.

I see her sit up, to rub the back of her head, and I pin her down, smirking when she doesn't even try to move.

"I win." I announce victoriously, and she laughs. It sounds rare and pretty, and I gloat for longer than necessary. I hear someone muttering to the side of us, and when I turn, I catch sight of a few students gaping at us. "You next?" I snarl at the one closest, and he scampers away immediately.

Good.

I rise up off of Everly, and I reach my hand out toward her. She grasps onto it, and I pull her up, back on to her feet.

"Again."

An hour later, Everly had hit me enough that I'm satisfied. Suspicious, that she never forgot how to fight, but pleased at how well she's done. We call it quits before Four's class does, and she follows me off the mat.

It only takes her a second to catch up; she walks faster and I slow down, and then she's right next to me. I slip my arm around her waist, and she and I walk back home together, without a single centimeter of space between us.

 

 

My phone rings the minute I get home.

I find myself oddly paranoid now, never knowing quite who'll be on the other end of the call. Since marrying Everly I'd found myself at the fingertips of people who I'd never wanted to have contact with. I spoke with Arlene more than anyone ever needed to. Daniel called often, always at the worst times, always sounding desperate for me to talk to him. Four now had my phone number. Even Harrison had taken it upon himself to program it into some sort of speed dial, though he currently still had me blocked.

My phone keeps ringing, and for once, I don't recognize the number.

I answer it heavily, watching Everly slip past me toward the bedroom.

"Yes."

"Eric! I've been calling you all week. You haven't returned any of my calls. You promised me you'd think about this dinner, and I made the reservation." Daniel's voice is cheerful when I answer, but he talks quickly, and I feel the familiar irritation start up as I know I'm being squeezed into his schedule. It eases up when I hear him drop into his desk chair, and he begins frantically typing. "I'm calling you from Camille's phone. I left mine at home. Listen, last time we talked, you said Everly was back. I made reservations for us to go to dinner. I thought maybe we could celebrate. Give you a break from all that…being in Dauntless."

"What are you talking about?" My answer is sharper than necessary, but I'm caught off guard. I don't remember agreeing to any dinner, nor do I remember telling him I'd bring Everly along to meet him.

"No, you're not doing that this time. Don't pretend this is the first you're hearing of this. You said…" Daniel pauses, and there is the neat and precise clacking of his keyboard. Then a chiming sound, then a ding. "you told me that Everly was back and you could do dinner. It was after…Jeanine's…passing."

"You mean her execution." I answer immediately, and his words are faintly familiar. "You want to celebrate that?"

"No." His answer is just as quick, and for the first time in my life, he speaks to me like I'm a complete idiot. "You said your wife was back. I want to meet her. You agreed. Now, I made reservations for tomorrow. I thought perhaps you two could-"

"Unfortunately, we'll have to pass." I stare at my bedroom door, and I shake my head. "But thank you for inviting us."

"Eric…" Daniel says my name with a hint of warning behind it. I wonder if he's making up for all those times he failed to utilize this during my childhood. "I made reservations. I know you can come. You could at least give me this."

"Why?" I snap, and Everly appears in the doorway of my bedroom. She tilts her head as she listens to figure out whatever has sparked my irritation, and I wave her away. "Why do I owe you anything? Because you ate breakfast with me while I was forced to stay in Erudite by your sister in law? I don't think so."

There is a heavy pause that drags on, until he sighs.

"You know what, fine. You're right." Daniel answers, and his tone changes to something I don't recognize. "You don't owe me anything. I'm sorry for interrupting whatever you were doing. I hope you have a good night."

He doesn't hang up just yet, no -he prolongs the painful awkwardness that I shouldn't be feeling. My teeth grind together to stop myself from telling him off, until my jaw hurts.

"Eric?" He says my name again, the hope sneaking back in his tone as he waits for me to give in to his guilt trip.

It vanishes when I flatly tell him no.

 

 

I forget about Daniel when Everly tells me about Four while she eats a cupcake.

We had both showered after her fighting, though not together. I'd watched her slip past me with wet hair and a smug expression on her face when she caught my lingering stare on her collarbone. Despite our hours of fighting, there wasn't so much as a scratch on her. I played off my inspection as I walked into the shower, and when I got out, she was sitting on my bed, dressed, enjoying her dessert.

"I saw Four downstairs with his class. He was staring at Tris when I left."

She announces the words as she carefully eats the cupcake, and I roll my eyes while I look for a shirt.

"Do you think they'll get back together?"

I look up at her with an intense look of annoyance. "I really couldn't care less if they ever speak to each other again."

"I know you don't like him." Everly swallows her cupcake, and her eyes meet mine. "He's not happy, you know. He doesn't like that you…were happy."

Her words die while she says them, the implication that I'm no longer happy coming right out of her mouth. I freeze in place, forgetting about my shirt and getting dressed and I walk over to her.

"He never wanted you with me. Not from the start, not now. He doesn't give a shit if I'm happy or not." I answer her slowly. "But I am happy. I'm happy with you even if …even if things are different."

The heavy weight in my chest lessens when she smiles up at me.

"Me too."

I bend down until my forehead is close to hers, and the smell of her shampoo is strong.

"Does it make you happy that he's not happy?" She asks, but she's smiling, and I wonder how on Earth I pretended I didn't like her.

"Very."

I kiss her slowly.

Slowly enough that I almost don't get dressed, but eventually, I do.

 

 

At seven in the morning, Rylan bounces with excitement as we walk to the conference room, and it takes everything in me not to shove him into the wall, especially when he steps on my foot for the eighth time.

"Are you ready for this?" He asks, having clearly consumed far too much sugar this early in the morning. I make a mental note to remind Christina to start watching what he eats.

I shake my head no when he bumps into me again, pausing to hold open the door to an empty office. I gesture for him to go in first, and I watch him with complete and utter boredom.

"I'd rather do anything but attend this meeting." I announce. I wait patiently, and he smiles smugly as he walks through.

"I am. I prepared all my notes last night. I even…HEY-"

His voice is muffled as I slam the door shut and keep walking. It's not locked, but the lights are off, and Rylan fumbles to turn around and find the doorknob. He yells my name, but I keep going, hating him for being prepared for a meeting I'd been putting off since last week.

I decide to skip the meeting, and instead, I find Jason.

The two of us sit at Clyde's until Rylan finds us two hours later. He looks pissed off, but even more so when he reveals that Max is having him partner up with Four when we head out to find Evelyn. Since they work so well together.

I laugh into my breakfast, and Lucy seems more annoyed at us than ever.

 

 

I do nothing productive at work.

For once, I don't have it in me to answer any of the emails waiting for me, or call anyone back. Jack has called a few times, more out of morbid curiosity than anything, and Tori has left a few messages asking my thoughts on moving forward with Erudite.

But I can't focus.

All I can think of is Everly, and how I'd nearly gone back on my own word.

I'd come home for lunch at the same time she had. I didn't know where she'd been, and normally that would have sent a spark of fear through me. Dauntless was on high alert right now, and while it was unlikely someone would storm through our gates and grab her, it wasn't that unlikely that she'd trip and fall over a railing. But I'd ignored that fear, and I'd reached for her.

Maybe it was spending all my time with Jason, watching him text Meghan repeatedly while he ate his pancakes. Or maybe it was listening to Rylan call Christina while he grouchily ordered an egg breakfast, and they'd arranged to head out to some lookout point for a vomit inducing romantic evening.

Whatever it was, I was wired with jealousy.

Jealously that they could do such things, without any sort of consequences.

I'd never wanted to spend a second of time with Meghan, nor Christina, but I'd honestly kill to drag Everly along and just do something normal. To partake in such a stupid event as meeting in the Pit to watch the fight that was headlining this week. Or to go outside the faction, without the threat of the factionless seeing Everly and deciding to shoot on sight.

I'd kill to take her somewhere other than beneath this dark compound and not be worried about when the serum would wear off.

I felt this in every single cell of my body. It hurt, something dark and angry, an unfairness that I couldn't shake.

It also made me feel a little crazy. Just enough off kilter that I grabbed her; her dark hair tangling around my fingers as I dug my hands into her hair, the soft fabric of her sundress against my arms, and I'd kissed her. I'd kissed her hard enough that she probably couldn't breathe, and with enough force that her arms looped around my neck so she could have a better hold on me. Her feet lifted up off the floor when I picked her up, and I set her on the counter, ignoring the crash of my paperwork that I'd left and the clink of whatever was behind her.

I kissed her frantically.

Warm pleasant desire flooding through my veins as my fingers shoved the strap of her dress down, and the other hand dug into her side.

I heard her sigh my name, tilting her head to the side when I moved to kiss her neck, basking in how good she smelled, when my eyes flew open.

She sounded like Everly.

Exactly like Everly.

I let go of her immediately, stepping back like she'd burned me. I'd stared at her, sucking in a deep breath, and doing my best to rationalize what I had been about to do. I'd been about to do what I wanted to do the first time I'd kissed her on my countertop. I'd been about to tear the fabric right off her, giving in to my frustration, until both of us were satisfied.

But I couldn't.

So I'd let go of her like my hands were on fire, and I backed away.

I roughly told her I'd be back, and I left.

I left her sitting there, her dress askew and her hair wild.

I left her watching me, with the same frantic expression that I must have had.

I left her and went back to work, unable to think of anything but the sight of her, even when Max forced me to make up the meeting I didn't attend.

 

 

I only half listen to him.

He's talking about important things, but I'd already been sent this outline by Harrison. The meeting had been to discuss the roles which we'd assume during our assignment. Jason and Rylan had been given ones that wouldn't have them in the thick of the action, but instead, monitoring all angles to make sure our asses were covered. A few names I didn't recognize would be assigned to make sure I had all the backup I wanted. Harrison was assigned as Chief Executor Leader and Commander of Action, which was a title I was sure he had made up.

Mine was simply to kill anyone who got in my way.

Then Evelyn.

But I know all this. I want to snidely point out that I'm well skilled in killing, and I'd have no qualms about murdering Evelyn after what she'd done. I also wanted to point out that I didn't share his excitement over this, because while I could appreciate the justice in her death, Everly still didn't have her memory back, and I had found myself awfully worked up over this fact.

I check my phone when Max takes a quick break to pull in Jason, and I read through my messages. I bypass most of the ones I have, and I click on the one from Daniel. It's from days ago, and I realize I'd missed it.

It must have been before he called me.

I read it over, then shut my eyes, until the decision is clear. I don't owe him anything, and I never would, but at the very least I could agree to meet him. After all, I'd said I would, and unlike him, I kept my word.

So I type back quickly, watching Max walk back in with an unenthused Jason, and he sinks into the seat next to me.

I tell Daniel I will meet him, and I'll ask Everly if she wants to come, and I cringe when he immediately responds in utter delight. In fact, I can't even keep up with how fast he continues to text me, and I roll my eyes when he picks the fanciest restaurant in Erudite at a time earlier than is convenient for me.

I set my phone down before I change my mind, and I listen to Max without saying a single word for the rest of the meeting.

 

 

I head home in a hurry.

I'm stopped by Rylan, having fully recovered from being ditched, and he shoves his arm at me, nearly spilling his coffee all over me while simultaneously showing me a blur of shiny metal.

"I just paid for this coffee with my watch. Not my point card." He waits for me to be impressed, but I'm not.

"Why? Why wouldn't you just hand them your card?" I look right at him, and he crashes into me, still holding his arm out. "Rylan, for fuck's sake, watch where you're walking."

"Because I can. It's new software from Erudite. It's like we're living in the future." He informs me, and I flash him the widest, fakest, most condescending smile I can.

"Groundbreaking."

I have no time for this.

Any other day, I'd be somewhat impressed with this technology. Erudite was always coming out with little ways to make things easier. The watches with wrist communicators had been fun, until they shorted out anytime you washed your hands. The night vision goggles had been fun, until a few exploded, rather conveniently, while Harrison was wearing them.

Twice.

But today, I can't even think about this. I have little time to get ready, and even less time to figure out how to explain to Everly what is going on. There's no great way of bringing up Daniel when I don't have many kind feelings toward him. But this is a chance for us to get out of here, and as long as I make sure we have enough security, we should have nothing to worry about.

"Fine. I was going to buy you a coffee but now I'm not." Rylan huffs, and he takes the stairs down while I take the stairs up. I text him while I walk, quickly telling him that his watch was impressive, but I was taking Everly to meet Daniel tonight and I didn't think it was going to go well. His response of OH SHIT is appropriate. I promise to fill him in on all the details the minute we're back, and his bad mood vanishes as he tells me not to think like that, because I'm creating my own reality. He then calls, and joyfully tells me he can't wait to hear what Daniel thinks of Everly.

He is nothing but pure excitement that I can't bring myself to share.

I tell him I will, and I stop at my apartment door. I tell him goodbye several times, and I promise if I see his dad, I'll say hello.

I then fling my apartment door open, hurrying through the kitchen and down the hallway, until I find Everly in my bedroom, standing there in the middle of something. She looks up in surprise, and I nearly knock her over as I approach her.

"I have a dinner in Erudite tonight. Do you want to come?" I stare at her, and my insides tighten up as I try to think what Daniel and Blythe will think when they see her. To me, she is still the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. She often looks otherworldly, especially now, peering up at me with her large eyes.

But her long eye lashes and pretty hair won't matter to Daniel. Even worse, if he happens to bring Blythe along for some weird reason, she'll find Everly woefully inadequate and far too young. She'll find fault in how small she is, or the way she's been brought up, and there's no doubt she won't like whatever she wears.

The fact that she's from Amity won't go over well, either.

Not that any of that matters to me.

I must have an odd look on my face, because Everly's own expression is worried.

"Do you want me to go?" She asks, chewing on her lip.

I don't blame her. I don't look happy, nor do I feel very happy. Of course, I want her to go with me. The whole point of this dinner was so Daniel could meet her. He had shown up in Erudite out of concern, whether for his own job or my sanity, but he'd been there. And he'd been supportive of my marriage to her, even if he had no clue who she was.

But all of this, along with the security concerns of us getting there, felt like an awful lot of work, and we hadn't even gotten dressed yet.

Everly waits patiently for me to answer, and I sigh. Heavier than necessary, but I can't even begin to explain what I'm thinking. "I do want you to come. I just want to make sure that you want to go."

She nods her head, and smiles, relieved as ever. "Of course I want to go eat dinner with you. Are we meeting someone from Erudite? Is Max going?"

I shake my head no. I could bring Max in her place. That would be funny, to watch Daniel make small talk with him. I step around her, lost in my own frantic thoughts, and it hits me that she'll have to wear something appropriate. I might not mind the short dresses and her exposed limbs, but she can't wear that to Erudite. I hate the thought of pressuring her to wear something she's not comfortable in, even more than I hate the thought of covering her up because of what my family might think.

I rifle through the clothes on her side, hoping she's bought something that'll work. If she hasn't, we'll have to stop on the way out.

Which means seeing Christian.

Which means a conversation I'm not at all prepared to have.

"Eric, are you alright?"

Her voice is concerned, and I sigh in relief when I find the only item she's purchased that isn't see through or apt to fall off of her. I turn around and toss it to her, and she catches it with a surprised look on her face.

"We're meeting my parents at six."

Her face lights up, and I hope for her sake, with every fiber of my being, this goes well.

Unfortunately, I doubt it will.


	33. Finally

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 💜Thank you so super much to Bamberlee for editing this chapter! She got this back to me early, even with the craziest holiday week ever. 
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who's been reading and reviewing. After what seems like 84 literal years, I'm pleased that we've arrived at the chapter most people have been waiting for. I hope you all enjoy this as much as Bamberlee did, as I contemplated just exactly how descriptive was too descriptive. 
> 
> Enjoy your weekend and see you all in a week!

"Welcome to L'Abominable Homme de Neige. Are you…uh do you two… have a reservation?"

The host, someone who isn't smart enough to work anywhere prominent yet still held the attitude of an astrophysicist, dares to look down upon Everly and I. He stands behind the podium with a rather judgmental look on his face, eyeing our dark clothes with extreme suspicion and clutching the heavy menus to his chest like a shield. He frowns at me, and while there is no doubt he knows who I am, he still looks at us like we're lost.

"Fuck off."

I tighten my grip on Everly's hand and head right past him, knowing Daniel is already here. He'd sent me a message on the drive over informing me both he and Blythe would be there, and I'd contemplated turning around and heading back to Dauntless. Dinner with Daniel himself would have been fine. He didn't have it in him to really be mean, and I'm sure he'd be as polite as he could pretend. But Blythe is another story. She's be as rude as possible and not bother to pretend she was being nice. She'd do her best to pick Everly apart, and it was unlikely I'd escape her scrutiny, either. We'd both be fair game, and she'd definitely have something to say about the death of her sister.

"Are they here? Do you know where they are?" Everly asks, carefully following me as we navigate through the crowded restaurant. It appears that everyone in Erudite has turned up to eat dinner here, and it's more crowded than I'd prefer. I quickly scan the room, finding nothing and no one out of the ordinary, but when I glance down at her, I feel a wave of guilt at bringing Everly with me. The feeling isn't something I'm used to, nor is the hope I had that maybe this would turn out okay. Though stupid, I was hoping that maybe, just maybe, Blythe wouldn't be completely terrible, and maybe Daniel had finally talked some sense into her.

Even I knew I was being foolishly optimistic.

"Yeah, they're here. They're…very early for everything." I hold onto her tighter, pressing my lips together as I step around a waiter taking an order, and head to the table they always sit at. I knew where they'd be, and I'd spotted them the minute we walked in. This was my last chance to leave before they saw us, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

Everly had looked really happy on the ride over. Oddly excited after spending all her time in Dauntless and thrilled to be going somewhere for dinner. I couldn't exactly turn the truck around without explaining why she shouldn't meet my mother, and it wasn't a conversation I wanted to have right now. So, I kept driving, and we arrived earlier than planned.

It didn't matter. My punctuality wouldn't earn me any points, and it was only mildly favorable over being late. I ignore the sense of dread rising up as we walk, and I remind myself we can leave at any time. I'm fully prepared to cut the dinner short if we need to, and there's a high probability it'll come to that.

Everly doesn't seem to pick up on any of this. She gazes at everything, and smiles at those who glance over at her.

"It's pretty in here." She comments, and I nod my head wordlessly.

I suppose it is.

Compared to the dirty communal dining area in Amity, or the chaotic, unorganized mess hall in Dauntless, it is what one could call pretty. Everything is blue or white and accented with silver. The tables are all large and shiny marble, and the chairs are heavy. Nothing is light in here; the menus are heavy, the silverware is heavy, even the napkins are thick and expensive and useless for wiping anything up.

Everly stares while we walk, and by the time we near Daniel and Blythe, I'm gripping her hand so tightly it must be cutting off the blood supply.

They are both looking right at us.

To no one's surprise, Blythe is already frowning. I see her gaze from where I'm standing; she takes in me first, having not seen me in years, and she pauses when she gets to Everly's face. It was understandable that anyone would have thrown a curious stare our way, but her critique is harsh and violent; her eyes narrow at the length of Everly's hair, and the way her sweater slides down her shoulder. As if she can feel her, Everly pulls it up immediately, smiling brightly at the both of them.

Daniel looks the same.

He's dressed up, but that's nothing new. He'd never been one for sloppy, casual wear. In some ways, he and Blythe were well suited for each other. They were both too presentable; the perfect representation of Erudite and the perfect couple suited for each other. Blythe's dress is sharp and fitted, and her hair has been styled into something straight and severe, just as perfect as Daniel's. She eyes both of us intently, and I feel absolutely nothing from her. Not regret and relief, not curiosity, nor even the barest hint of congeniality.

Just careful, clinical, observation. Like she's cataloging every detail she can. All so it can be used against us.

When her head tilts ever so slightly, pulling her chin up as she glances down at Everly, I know she's made her final judgement, and there's no changing her mind.

She doesn't like her.

She does smile when I stop in front of them, now standing and waiting for us, though it's barely passable as a real smile. Beside her, the look on Daniel's face betrays his cool exterior. He's visibly nervous, and for good reason. Nervous at how she will behave, and nervous if she will behave. Nervous that he's brought her along when it took all this effort just to get us here.

She doesn't give him the chance to say hello. She steps in front of him, effectively cutting him off.

"Eric. It's nice to see you again."

Blythe's greeting is cold. She doesn't blink, nor does she really think it's nice to see me. She's come out of unrelenting horror over what I've been doing, and perhaps the chance to tell me a few things. She steps toward me, inspecting me with great interest, then surprisingly, she reaches her hand out as though she'd like to touch me.

Then pulls it back immediately.

She ignores Everly entirely.

"You look well." She stares at me with a very unimpressed look. She is shorter than I remember her to have been, much more brittle and thin, and her jaw is a little too sharp.

She bites it down in displeasure as her gaze flicks to Everly.

"And you are?"

"I'm…Everly."

Her fingers tighten on mine.

The hesitation isn't at all because she doesn't know who she is.

It's because no one has ever looked at her with as much thinly veiled disgust as Blythe is. Her eyes linger over Everly's dress, the sweater, her dark hair falling down over her shoulders, and her hand on mine. Her fingers tightly wound through my own. The way she's right next to me, so close that there's no space between us. The way she's far shorter, so much less in Blythe's eyes, just by this first glance.

I squeeze her hand tightly in silent reassurance, then motion for her to sit down.

"Eric, it's been a while." Daniel interrupts the standoff, following my lead and taking his own seat. He smiles at me, then Everly, his stare much friendlier. "Sit down. We'll get started. I ordered us all something to drink."

As if on cue, a waitress appears. Everly looks up at her, the dark blue uniform shirt as pristine as the woman's tightly pulled up hair. The waitress introduces herself as Kelly, and she's a pleasant distraction as she says something to Blythe, but not enough of one. Blythe continues to look at Everly, every so often narrowing her eyes at her dress, and she eventually waves Kelly off to presumably fetch her something stronger to drink.

I suppose we shared that.

"Hello Everly." Daniel tries again and she looks over at him. "It's wonderful to finally meet you."

"Hello." She smiles back brightly, relaxing somewhat. She looks up as another waitress drops off a basket of bread, and no one moves. It sits there, until Daniel clears his throat.

"Here." He gestures for us to take one, hoping to break the ice. "She'll bring more. You must be starving."

I shrug, not at all interested in eating dinner rolls or discussing if I'm hungry or not. I watch Everly carefully take a bite of hers, and the table falls silent. In fact, it seems the whole restaurant has gone silent as this awkward family dinner unfolds. I can feel their stares on the back of my neck, heavy and hungry for what's coming next, and there is no doubt this is the most entertaining thing they've seen all week.

The silence is thick. Daniel looks at me, then back at Everly. I can see his mind calculating something, probably how old she is or how on Earth she managed to stay alive, but Blythe is the real winner.

She stares at Everly like she shouldn't exist; with an immense disapproval that comes out the moment she speaks.

"So. You grew up in Amity?" Blythe takes a very long sip of her wine and sets it down in front of her. "I was told that is where you're from."

She doesn't waste any time. It's obvious she's researched Everly, having presumably heard about her from Jeanine, and already come up with her own conclusions.

Everly sets her own drink down, and she stares right back at her. Her head tilts ever so slightly, and I know she must be comparing her to her own mother, searching for some speck of familiarity in there. Something she can connect with or any sort of common ground that'll help her.

But Blythe is nothing like Everly's mother. Her blonde hair is cut to her jaw, very sharp, very clean, and perfectly styled into place by a stylist who comes to her house. Her dress has been tailored down to the millimeter, providing her with sharp attire to match her personality. When she reaches for her glass again, her wedding ring catches the light, and it's glaring. The ring is large, far larger than most, and it matches the watch on her wrist.

Everything about her is unapproachable. Off putting. Arrogant. There is absolutely nothing warm or soft, or at all like anyone in Amity.

"I did. Until I chose Dauntless." Everly answers politely, ironically unable to even remember she chose Dauntless. But Blythe doesn't know that.

All she knows is that she doesn't like Everly and most certainly not the Amity faction.

"Well, how…ambitious," she answers flatly. She looks over at me, and her gaze is nothing but blunt disappointment. "And now you're married to Eric."

I don't say anything. She waits until I'm looking at her, and then she drops her stare right to Everly's fingers. Where Everly's own wedding ring sits, nowhere near as large, but large enough for her. Even here, it's an impressive ring.

The silent judgement is heavy within Blythe's gaze. She plays off her surprise that Everly has a wedding ring on as being unimpressed, but I can see her mind whirling. Deciding that Everly was, in fact, not worthy enough to have a wedding ring. When I don't comment one way or the other, Blythe clears her throat and I get what she's doing. I sit up straighter, prepared to say something, but Everly answers her.

"Yes, I am."

We should have stayed home.

I should have canceled on Daniel, or perhaps made him come to Dauntless. It wasn't that I felt uncomfortable or uneasy around them. I really and truly didn't care what they thought. I didn't need their approval or for them to like Everly, but I didn't need her to experience their dislike.

"It's nice to meet you, Everly. Eric's never brought any of his girlfriends to dinner with us." Daniel flashes her a blinding smile, and I stare at the steak knife next to me. His words were true; though I'd brought Ashley to his home, I'd never bothered to introduce them, nor did I have her come eat with us.

"It's nice to meet you, too. I'm glad I could come."

Everly answers quickly, but she soon falls silent next to me, and I feel like I should say something. Perhaps offer for us to get our food to go and leave.

"What kind of schooling does one receive in Amity?" Blythe asks pointedly, out of nowhere, and the people at the next table look over at us. I faintly recognize the older man, and he squints in recognition at Blythe and Daniel. Then me. Then he looks confused, and I can tell he's trying to place Everly. "Did you graduate? Or do they pass everyone so they can start working as soon as possible?

My gaze immediately flies to her, sharp and full of hatred.

"Blythe." I say her name nastily, well aware that she's hinting Everly wasn't well educated. "Don't."

Daniel reaches over to grasp Blythe's arm, doing his best to pretend this wasn't going downhill quickly. "She doesn't mean any harm, Eric. She's just being nosey."

"You're right, I am prying into what goes on in…Amity." Blythe smiles, fake and unimpressed. "But it's alright, dear. I'm sure there are lots of other things about you that Eric enjoys. It doesn't matter your level of education."

I could stab her.

"Excuse me?" Everly is looking at her with a surprised look on her face, and her eyes are wide. "I completed everything I was supposed to."

She doesn't look at me, but sits up straighter, unconsciously trying to make herself taller. Blythe exhales in exasperation, and I bite down hard enough to taste blood when she opens her mouth to keep going.

"You know, we would have liked to have attended the wedding. It's not every day our only son gets married." Daniel does his best to change the subject, steering us back to something that should be pleasant. But it's not; my wife can't remember how we got married, and Blythe is staring her down like she'd like to leap across the table and drag her out the back door.

"It was a very small event." I retort, and I lean back away from Blythe. "We didn't want a lot of people there."

"Your mother and I are hardly a lot of people," Daniel responds quickly, and behind his polite stare is his disappointment. Still there, still waiting for me to apologize for not inviting him to the wedding we didn't have.

I look away from him.

"How long have you and Eric been involved? You seem awfully young." Blythe stares right through Everly, and she inspects her face as though she's hiding something. "I was told you were in the last training class."

"I was. I was in Eric's class." Everly's knee hits mine, and she shifts in her seat. "He was a really good trainer."

"So you're eighteen, then?" Blythe continues, ignoring Daniel elbowing her. She looks vicious now, looking for Everly to say just the right thing so she can rip her apart.

"Blythe, pass me the pepper." Daniel flashes me a tight smile, but Blythe doesn't tear her stare away from Everly. She pulls her shoulders up, and the condescending look on her face is one I'm very familiar with.

"My son put a lot on the line for you. You must be very important for him to choose you over his own family."

And there it is.

"Stop," I snap at her, right as Daniel barks her name.

"Blythe, this is not the time." He looks over at me, and the stress is all over his face. His eyes have darkened, and he's pressing his lips into a fine line as his gaze struggles to land somewhere. The man next to us is doing his best to listen while his wife whispers something to him, and I throw him a dark enough glare that he looks away.

"It will never be the time, now will it?" Blythe snaps right back at him, and she shakes her head. "When is an appropriate time to discuss what he's done?"

Despite the fact that none of us have ordered, our waitress appears with several large plates. Another server helps her hand them out, and she sets them down in front of each of us. The table is silent, and all around us, the noise of the restaurant is suddenly deafening. Daniel catches my eye, smiling tightly.

"We ordered when we got here. It's the special tonight. I thought you both might like it." He pauses when the waitress refills our glasses; I haven't touched mine, and Everly has had a single sip of hers. "Well, enjoy."

"Have you ever had steak before?" Blythe is sitting up perfectly straight, watching Everly like a hawk. I can feel Everly debating how to answer this, and I get the feeling she knows she's being tested.

"Um, yes. I have." Everly looks at me out of the corner of her eye, and she shrugs slightly. "It looks very good."

Her response is sincere and sweet, and it doesn't do anything but make Blythe sneer. I pick up the knife beside me, and I begin to cut into my steak with far more force than necessary. The food here is eons beyond the quality served in Dauntless. Quinten had a rather small budget to feed an entire army, which meant he often went for meals that could stretch as far as they could. Pastas. Grains. Vegetables if he had them. Easy things that could be reheated and mass produced. Whatever Jason could talk him into if he got bored enough.

I make up my mind to do my best to enjoy this dinner, convincing myself at least the dinner was worth coming here.

Turns out, nothing was worth coming here.

"You don't find eating meat to be a violent act? Most of the subjects from Amity have a rather strong aversion to the slaughter of their animals for dinner. They find it rather…" Blythe pauses, making sure Everly is looking at her. "Savage. Perhaps that's why you chose Dauntless? Because you prefer things a little more unrestrained?"

Blythe smiles when Everly blinks, then takes a single bite of her steak.

I am not amused.

There is absolutely nothing that Everly had ever done to warrant this. She didn't deserve what Blythe was doing, and I knew eventually, it would be too much. I can tell we're quickly approaching that point. Everly slips down a bit in her seat, and I decide I'm done.

"Are you kidding me?" I slam my knife down and I'm suddenly so livid I could snap Blythe's neck. "What are you trying to get out of her? Is there an actual question you'd like to ask, or are you just going to make snide remarks the entire dinner?"

Daniel's face changes to heavy disappointment. He murmurs Blythe's name, but she ignores him. She's too busy waiting for Everly to cave under the pressure. To her credit, Everly doesn't. She cuts her steak slowly but makes no actual move to eat it.

Blythe sneers at me and reaches for her fork. "Don't be rude, Eric. I'm just surprised that your little girlfriend eats meat. That's all."

Maybe I should stab her.

The knife next to my plate is heavy enough. It wouldn't take much.

"She's my wife," I answer through gritted teeth. "Not my girlfriend."

"I'm well aware of how important your wife is to you. She's led you to make some interesting decisions as of late." Blythe responds pointedly, and I'm done. I throw the heavy napkin off my lap, and I shake my head at her. I knew this was a bad idea, I just wasn't aware of how bad an idea it was.

"We're done here," I announce. "Everly, come on."

Everly turns to look up at me as I stand up, and I point right in Blythe's face. "I know why you're doing this. If you thought for one second that I was going to let your sister replace my wife with one of her assistants while I was out doing her dirty work, then you might as well be the next one to fill her shoes."

To her credit, Blythe pretends to look surprised. "Why on Earth would I want that position? So you can come after me? That's not what I'm talking about and you know it."

"You're exactly like her. You'll leave Everly and me alone." My words are just as cold as she is, and they are spoken with extreme anger. I feel a fury that I haven't felt in a long time, and it bothers me that this somehow feels worse than my anger toward Evelyn. "Everly, we're done here.

Daniel sets his fork down, and he shakes his head, looking at Everly. "I'm sorry," he says, very quietly. "She's still not over the death of…"

"She was your aunt." Blythe hisses at me, and her perfect persona slips. I can see the same rage I'm feeling right beneath the surface of her skin, burning and frantic as it slowly rises up. I can also see the man next to us; his eyes widen, and he and his wife both lean in our direction as the highly revered Blythe Coulter loses her shit in public. "You would have been nothing without her. She gave you everything."

"Not everything," I snarl. I look down at Everly, and I force myself not to yank her up out of the chair. I reach my hand out to her, and she takes it immediately. She's still polite: she flashes both of them a smile they don't deserve.

"Thank you for dinner." Everly stands up, and for a second, she and Daniel stare at each other. He looks at her pleadingly, silently asking her to stay. For just a little bit longer, even a few minutes. The look on his face tells me he'll try to make this right any way he can, but he can't.

Blythe won't let him. Never.

I had killed Jeanine. I hadn't thought twice about it, and in Blythe's eyes, this was Everly's fault. I should have known better than to bring her here. To give in to him. To try and act like he had a place in my life.

"Eric, I…this wasn't what I had in mind." Daniel stands up as well, and Blythe looks furious. She looks at all of us with utter resentment, pure hatred as she shoves herself back into her seat when Daniel doesn't agree with her.

"No, I'm sure it wasn't." I snarl, and the man at the table next to us coughs. I slowly realize he was a teacher at the school I went to, and I'd once told him I hoped he choked on his dinner.

I feel the same way now.

I leave with Everly, gripping her hand so tightly I'm sure it hurts.

 

 

We return to Dauntless without saying a word.

I don't have anything I could tell her. I knew the dinner would be a disaster, and I was stupid to think it would have gone any other way. After what I'd done to Jeanine, choosing Everly over my work with her, deciding to turn her in, and ultimately ending her life, there was no way it wouldn't have been brought up. In Blythe's mind, I was solely responsible for Jeanine's death, and I deserved to hear what she thought about it. I deserved her wrath, and I deserved to see what she believed was the error of my ways.

Except now, I knew I was right in what I had done. If it meant keeping Everly safe, I'd do it all over again.

Which left us in this standoff. The ultimate betrayal, both of family and faction. Blythe and I both knew she'd never forgive me, and I'd never ask her to. That also meant that so long as either of us were alive, there would be no chance of civility between us.

Ever.

I realized now, I could finally accept that.

What I couldn't accept was why I was mentally raging over going to see Daniel. Berating myself for having given in to him, just as weak willed as he was. In some odd way, maybe I'd been trying to prove something. To show him I'd never needed him and I still didn't. But it felt like I'd been tricked, and I didn't like that. I felt oddly off balance by the entire thing, more angry and irate that he'd lure me there and let Blythe insult Everly like that, and furious that I hadn't done enough to stop it. Whatever the case may be, I had my answer, and now I had to live with it.

"I'm sorry you had to meet them. I thought it would go better than that." I swallow heavily and rip off the jacket I'd worn. I let it fall to the floor, unwilling to pick it up since it now reminded me of this night. "I should have told you she was my aunt. And it's not that you can't remember. I never told you before."

Everly watches me carefully. On the drive back she had been quiet, so quiet, and I knew her disappointment was worse than mine. But she had absolutely no reason to feel that way. I did. I felt completely responsible for what had happened, and I was. I might as well have put her in front of a firing squad and told her to keep her eyes open.

"I don't think it would have made any difference if I had known who she was," she answers, and her tone is carefully even. A quick glimpse at her face shows that she's struggling to be supportive, though she really doesn't have to.

"My mother shares the same narcissistic ideals that Jeanine did. I'm shocked she hasn't put in her own name as a candidate for their new leader." I step toward her, kicking off my shoes with far more force than necessary. "Her sister was found guilty by trial, and I was the one who performed the execution. Because of what she was doing, and what she planned on doing. I have no regret for my actions."

I stare right at her and she doesn't look away. Or blink.

"Eric, I know. I mean, you told me and I… I don't think you did anything wrong..." She looks up at me, struggling to come up with something to reassure me. "You said she's the same as Evelyn."

My stare falls to the side of her. She looks as defeated as I feel, and while I appreciate her attempt to make me feel better, it won't work. I'd never get along with them, and that was fine. We never had to see them again. Watching Everly unbutton the dark sweater she has on, I realize I was wrong to seek any sort of peace with them.

At some point in my life, I may have needed it. Not on a conscious level, but somewhere.

But not anymore.

I had what I needed, right here.

"I'm sorry dinner didn't go very well. Maybe I should have stayed here." Everly looks a little lost. She shrugs the sweater off and sets it on the bed. "Maybe it would have gone better if I wasn't there."

"It doesn't matter. Faction before blood, remember?" I stare right at her, unsure of how I'd never seen this before. She was everything, and now I was going to tell her. Before something else happened. Before the chance slipped through my fingers again, and I was left with the consequences of my own actions one more fucking time.

"You're the only family I need."

Her gaze lifts, and her eyes darken the slightest. I have never believed anything more in my life, and I feel dizzied with the thoughts in my head. They were fast and impatient, each one screaming at me that this was it.

Telling her was no longer enough. I'd been telling her this whole time, explaining everything like she wouldn't understand, or couldn't.

But she did.

And now I was going to show her.

"Tell me you remember."

My tone is far more demanding than I'd planned, but it doesn't bother her. She stands right before me, her slight frame nearly touching mine, looking up at me. I flash back to finding her in Amity, with the same intense expression, wanting something so badly and knowing it was just out of reach. "Tell me that you remember everything that's happened and I don't have to wait any longer to have you back."

"Eric, I wish I could…" She answers very gently, again trying to spare my feelings, again concerned about me. Her arms slide around my neck, and she rises up on her toes. "I wish I remembered."

Her lips find mine without any hesitation, and I close my eyes once she kisses me for a moment. She is warm and soft, and I feel every beat of her heart.

I slide one of my arms behind her back, pushing her against my chest. "Everly…"

"I can try," She mumbles the words against my mouth, then she moves to kiss my jaw. She slowly works her way down my neck, over my throat, and I let her. I let her kiss me without stopping her, and I tilt my head back when her fingers find my shirt. She undoes it slowly, her fingers deftly sliding the buttons back through until my shirt is completely unbuttoned. They occasionally press over my skin as she pushes the shirt open, light enough as if she's waiting for me to push them away.

I have no intention of stopping her, because I have officially run out of self-control.

"I want you to remember now." My eyes find hers, and I still don't stop her. She pushes the shirt off my shoulders, and I shake it off without breaking my stare. She pulls up the dark undershirt I have on, and this time, her fingers skim over my stomach. She fumbles for a moment to pull it up over my head, and her hands return right back to me.

She's caught on quickly.

"I can try," she answers and for that split second, I waver with my decision, but only because I don't want her to think I would ever hurt her. That I wouldn't respect what she wanted, or that I'd been too impatient to wait until she remembered.

But then I look at her and I decide I don't want to wait any longer. It could be tomorrow that her memory returns. A month from now. A year.

Never.

I blindly fumble for her. My hands grasp the thin fabric of her dress, and I pull it up over her head, tossing it to the side without looking. I enjoy a moment of seeing her without the expensive fabric covering her up; she is pale and pretty and more alluring than ever in her fancy underwear, just as I remember. I walk her back a step until she's right up against the bed, and I only let go of her to take off my belt and pants.

My intentions are very clear now. Everly watches with pinked cheeks, not embarrassed, but flush with the rush of blood at what's to come. She's brave, never looking away, and when I unzip my pants, she scoots back to where she normally sleeps, more on my side of the bed than anything. I step over my pants, kick them to the side, and I climb right after her. Over her, and her hands immediately reach for me.

Her gaze is patient and warm and all too willing, and I can't fathom how much I have missed this.

Her.

"Everly."

I say her name with all the promises I'd never spoken out loud to her. All the heaviness and weight of these past few weeks. All the moments in time that had been taken from us. Every second of being in love with her.

I'll start all over again.

She tilts her head to the side when I kiss her neck, fixating on the juncture of her neck and shoulder. She squirms for the barest of seconds, then sighs as I slowly work my way down her skin. I take my time, skimming over the sharpness of her collarbone, across to the other side, before I settle on top of her. Her skin is sweet and salty, and she smells like grossly pretty flowers and my shampoo. I'm familiar with it, breathing it in nightly, yet I still close my eyes and commit this moment to memory.

My fingers graze over her ribs, working up with careful precision, pressing bone by bone, over the long forgotten bruises from her training. I linger over where she'd been scraped up by another initiate's boot, and where the dark, purple splotches had tainted her side for far too long.

Where I'd touched her, pushing the limits of how I should touch my trainee, while she lay next to me in my own bed.

"Eric."

She says my name with great relief. I share that relief as I kiss her lips, sliding one hand beneath her to unhook the clasps on her bra. I'm not at all surprised to find the fabric lacy and soft, easy to rip between my fingers. I yank the straps down, she wiggles out of it, and I look right at her as I throw it somewhere to the side of my room.

She looks up at me, and I almost look away.

She's too lovely beneath me; her skin is still as soft as I remember, and she's patient as I take my time looking at her. The first time I'd seen her undressed had been such a flurry of frantic longing want that I felt like I barely saw her. I'd spent weeks tortured by the very idea of sleeping with her, the thought of what she looked like beneath the dark clothes playing tricks on my mind. I'd spent weeks daring to touch her more than I should, and I feel all of that, right now.

Especially when I sink against her. The feeling of her thighs against mine, skin against skin, her feet grazing my calves and her hands skimming over me without a second thought.

I force myself to be slow.

My fingers explore with the utmost possessiveness, and there is comfort in the way she seems to press herself upward in my hands. I trace over the swell of her breasts, until my palm slides up and over to cover her completely, all while kissing her. I feel her react the same way I do; she tenses up in utter delight, and I'm immediately hard. My fingers tighten on her skin, and my hips push into hers on their own, and the sensory overload is instant.

"Please don't stop." She blurts out, completely done with my rejecting her until she remembers. Her desire makes me smile, because I am also done.

"I should," I remind her. "But I don't want to."

She reacts in a favorable way. She brings her legs up, sliding them to lock behind my calves so I won't stop. The close proximity pushes my erection right where I want it, and the frustrating friction of her underwear makes me grit my teeth. Her hands find the longest part of my hair, pulling none too gently. The sensation feels good, like the time she dared to touch me while I lie in bed, and I push myself away the tiniest bit to prolong the agony. The feeling of her is all consuming, but more so is her stare.

Warm and soft, and all too alluring.

"Is this what you want? Are you sure?" I give her one final chance to stop me. I'd done the same thing when I'd kissed her in my kitchen, and just like then, I know if I start, I won't stop.

"I've always wanted you, Eric."

She looks right at me, and there nothing but pure honesty in her words. Not that I ever doubted her, but this solidifies everything between us. It takes off the unrelenting pressure I'd been dragging around, and now, it is just her and I.

Just like it always had been.

"Okay." I nod at her, and I pull away slowly. Her smile falters, but only until I reach down to pull my boxers off. I manage to get them off without looking, and I kick them where I threw her dress. Her eyes widen when I immediately reach for the waistband of her underwear. The fabric is just as fancy as her bra was, and I smirk at her picking them out.

"Good."

Just like that, everything falls away. I kiss her neck, biting and tearing at her skin, diving right back against her. I've never been one to be cold, but I'm much warmer now, and my skin burns when she squeaks as my teeth sink in. The urge to mark her is stronger than ever; I'd done it once, to make sure Four knew to stay the fuck away from her, and I'll do it again now. When I'm satisfied with the red right above her collarbone, I move my way down.

I kiss her stomach; my hands on either side, holding her in place, and she giggles my name.

"Eric!"

I would normally smirk at the tone. It's girly and far more giggly than I'd ever put up with, but it's her. It's the voice of my wife, well aware of what I'm about to do.

"Stop squirming." I demand, kissing past the dip of her hip bones, and down her thighs. I push them apart, kissing her inner thighs as she does her best to stay still, but she's terrible at it. She sinks against my bedsheets, weeks of frustration built up.

"You're suddenly very bad at listening." I mutter teasingly, but she can't hear me. Or maybe she's not paying attention. I push her legs open wider, and a second later, my mouth is on her. One of her hands flies to my hair, pulling on the long strands the minute I lick everywhere but where she wants. She's the only one I've willingly done this for, and my pure intention is to have her come against my face. Already her thighs have tightened around me, and her nails scrape against my scalp. I feel her attempt to sit up for some reason, then she lies back down, and her breathing becomes erratic.

Her loss of control is appealing, because she trusts me. I know that no one has done this to her before, and the thought that only I have gone down on her makes me smile.

I hold her legs in place, and I decide to take my time. I take note of every single sigh and gasp she makes, every single whimper and groan as I suck the soft and swollen flesh. I only stop when I can tell she's close. Her whine is instant, and she squirms when I pull my mouth away from her. I return to the inside of her thighs, kissing lightly, deciding I want something else. Something selfish, but she'll still get what she wants.

I want to see her come, just like all those nights before.

"Eric that's not fair," she groans, and I like the way my name sounds.

I rise up, taking in the sight of her before me, her skin both pale and flushed against the dark sheets. "What about me has ever been fair?" I smirk at her, and she smiles right back.

"Come here." She reaches out toward me, and I easily climb back over her. "I want to be on top."

"Of course you do."

I expect nothing less from her. To be completely fair, I don't mind one bit. She laughs as I slowly settle back against the pillows, never breaking her unabashed stare. She looks down right mischievous as she eyes me, sitting back on her own heels to stare at me.

I get the feeling she was just as frustrated as I had been.

She makes her way toward me, maddeningly slow, and her eyes fall to my erection. I have not a single ounce of unease about being completely naked in front of her, and her gaze on me is just as much of a turn on as the sight of her naked body coming for me. But she doesn't climb on top of me like I'd expect.

Because she is Everly, she rests on her knees, then reaches for me, encircling the length of my erection with her hand.

I inhale sharply without meaning to.

She tightens her grip on me, and when her head bows down, I know exactly what she's doing. Before I can so much as gasp her name, having never once asked this of her, she takes my cock in her mouth, and my vision blurs.

"Everly..."

I groan her name, though its barely comprehensible. All I can feel is her mouth on me, warm and wet, and her hand stroking me. She's not entirely sure of herself, but it doesn't matter. I'm immediately overcome by the urge to explode in her mouth. The feeling is overwhelming, something I've rarely felt while having sex, and it's her. It's everything about this moment; the feel of her, the sight of her on her knees, her dark hair falling against my thighs, and the way she seems to be very happy with what she's doing.

I groan her name again and again, fighting down the stars behind my eyes and the urge to slam my hips against her face. The room is quiet aside from the sound of me, grunting as I struggle to not give in to my looming orgasm, and her, making a sound that I'll never forget. I reach toward her, my fingers sliding through the soft strands of her hair, and I stay there until I realize I'm thrusting into her mouth sloppily. She readjusts herself, pushing her hair out of her eyes, and I nearly lose it.

"Holy shit...Everly, you need to stop or…"

My fingers slip through her hair to grasp onto the bedsheet and my thighs have tensed up. If she doesn't stop, I won't last more than a few more seconds and she seems to know this.

She doesn't stop.

She ignores me, and I groan her name again.

"I want you." I close my eyes tightly, conjuring up any image other than the one in front of me, and she slowly pulls away. The absence of her is immediately upsetting; the air is cold and sharp, and my dick twitches in protest.

"Did that hurt? That had to hurt to pierce that there." Everly tilts her head at me, sitting back on her heels and cocking her head to the side.

"What?" I gaze down at her. She's sort of hazy as my near orgasm ebbs away, and it takes me too long to realize she's staring at the piercing she'd once asked me about. The sight of her is comical; she's stark naked, resting on her heels, and she's squinting at the metal beneath the head of my dick in utter confusion. I laugh when she narrows her eyes, and I can see her thinking about how it was there. "I see you're still just as curious as you were before you saw it last time."

Her gaze rises up to meet mine. She crawls forward, onto my lap, and her fingers grasp my jaw. I stare right at her, my gaze glued to hers, but all I'm focused on is the feeling of her. How warm and wet I know she is.

How she feels.

How close I am to being inside her.

"Eric?"

"Hm?" I slide my hand down her back, fingers tensing against her skin as I pull her closer.

"It hurt, didn't it?" She smiles brightly, and her fingers dig into my skin.

I cock an eyebrow at her and shake my head. "No, it didn't.

She shifts closer, and I'm so close to her that it's painful. Everly leans in to kiss me, and she loses the little self-control she has left. Her hips jerk forward in search of friction, and the stars must align, because a second later, I push my own hips at her, and I slide inside of her.

My immediate reaction is to tense up. Not because she's clawing at me, or because she's touching me in ways no one else has, but because the feeling is indescribable. She is tight and hot, and after being in her mouth, this feels other worldly. My head falls back, my eyes close, and all I can feel is her. Holding onto me tightly, until her grip on my hair becomes painful.

"Ohhhh, Eric."

She sighs my name, sinking against me, and I share the same relief she's experiencing. We stay this way for a moment, her on top of me, my dick buried deep inside her, and her head falling forward to touch mine as she moves to whatever pace feels good to her.

Until I can't take it anymore.

After weeks of torture, this is more than I can handle.

I push her back, making sure to hold onto her, and shove her back into the mattress. There is no grace in my actions, only pure, unrelenting want. After thinking she was dead, mourning the loss of her the best I could, this feels like the final step in letting go. Like something we've both earned, and I refuse to draw it out any longer. I shove my limbs against her, my chest covering her, and I slide back into her.

"Oh, God."

I thrust into her roughly. It's not as slow or as patient as I'd imagined this to be, and ironically, I had imagined it. I thought of her daily, wondering when I'd be able to show her how I felt, or if it would ever happen again. But now it is happening, and I grab her greedily. My hands touch her wherever they can, grasping and skating over her skin. She responds just like I want; tensing up and pushing herself against me, gasping with every slam of my hips.

"I've missed you," I half hiss, half gasp the words in her hair. She nods her head, wrapping her legs around me, and there is nothing between us. No air, no light, nothing. Just her and I, connected in the most primal way possible. Every neuron in my brain is firing full force, and there is a searing rush of euphoria at the realization that neither of us will last much longer at this pace. I screw my eyes shut tightly, bending my head down until it rests against hers. My cheek touches hers, the gesture unnaturally gentle coming from me, but I blame the rush of dopamine that's been set off. I want her closer, as if I could consume her, and that end of us would be fine by me.

"Eric," she gasps my name, arching up to meet my hips, and her stomach presses against mine. The feeling of her skin is enough to push me over the edge, but my eyes fly open and my hips stop moving. I push myself away from her, struggling somewhat against her limbs as she struggles to hold onto me. I stare down at her in a moment of panic, realizing that I have to put a halt to this. My grand plans come to an abrupt stop as I hold myself over her, still inside, my entire body screaming at me to keep going.

But I can't.

I can't move.

I should pull out of her, because even though my brain is currently riddled with lust, I suddenly remember one small fact I'd forgotten about, and as much as it pains me to suddenly think of Arlene, her words come back to haunt me like a demon from the depths of the underworld.

"We have to stop."

I grit the word out at her, and Everly shakes her head no. Her expression has already changed to confusion, then determination, and she does her best to hold onto me. Her hands pull at me, and despite my best effort, I sink into her even further.

"No, Eric you said you wouldn't…" She protests with a very valid point, and I kiss her to shut her up. My hips jerk forward on their own, seeking out the slick wet heat from her. I drop my head down, groaning against her neck as I try to think logically.

Which is nearly impossible right now.

"You don't understand." I mumble against her skin, biting the warmest part between my teeth. She raises her knees up to keep me in place, and her actions are admirable. Except for one thing, that she's not going to remember. "You told Arlene you didn't want any more shots."

"So?" She wiggles beneath me, and her head falls back slightly. "I don't want any more vaccines. I just want everything to be back to normal."

"I know," I grunt at her, and my thighs begin to tense up. "But you also refused your birth control shot, and we need to stop unless you'd like to be having a baby in the next year."

"Oh."

To her credit, she looks marginally surprised. She chews on the side of her lip, but her hands stay anchored to me. I keep thrusting into her, slowly, prolonging the torture of needing to pull out of her. I had no intention of getting her pregnant if she didn't want me to. That idea slams into my brain like a freight train, and I suddenly have an image of her, of us really, as a family. A small family, but one that was ours. No more disappointments or wasted time. Just her and I, and a baby I can't quite visualize.

She finally shakes her head again, and this time, her own hips push forward. "I don't want you to stop."

"Everly." I say her name through gritted teeth as a wave of pleasure washes over me. The high opinion of myself that I'd always held is quickly slipping away, right along with the remainder of my self-control. "Trust me, I'm aware of how much you enjoy this. It's not that. It's just that this is not a decision I want to be responsible for when your memory comes back."

"Did I want a baby before?" She looks up at me very innocently, almost too innocently. "Is that a yes? Does it even matter? It probably wouldn't even happen right now, and I'm not waiting until I get kidnapped again or I fall off the bed again or Four interrupts us, or something else happens for you to decide you've waited long enough. I'm good with whatever happens."

I swallow down the desire to come right then and there. She isn't at all opposed to the idea in my head, even though I haven't exactly verbalized it. But the fact that she's alright with it, my wife who's currently making an amazing point that we might not have a lot of time, has reminded me that we aren't promised anything. Not today, and certainly not tomorrow.

So I nod at her, and I decide I'm fine with the outcome either way.

"Okay," I answer her, and I shove myself back against her. I settle on top of her, pushing her thigh to the side and kissing her as I settle right back into what I'd never stopped doing. It doesn't take much longer for either of us to come. Her nails dig into my skin, her head falls to the side, and I kiss her skin anywhere I can. I find her lips, drunk on her when she parts them just a bit more, kissing me just a bit harder, and that's it.

Everly gasps beneath me. Her body tenses up, giving into the bliss she'd been searching for, and she ceases making sense. I hear her gasp my name, saying it over and over until it's a blur, until it's enough.

She's always been enough.

"Everly."

It's my turn to say her name, and everything in me tightens up. My thighs tense up, my arms lock against her, and I lose all sense of rhythm. I thrust into her frantically, until I'm overcome by my own release. It seems endless, until I open my eyes to catch a glimpse of Everly, strewn beneath me, completely and utterly sated.

This was like nothing else.

This wasn't screwing her or getting off because we'd both been frustrated by our time apart. It wasn't fucking for the sake of sexual tension, or to see if this could work.

It was something else.

I stare at her, drunk off every single ounce of affection between us, and my head bows to hers. Her heart beats quickly, slowing down as she drifts back to Earth, and I blurt out what I've wanted to tell her since the day I had her back.

"I love you."

She closes her eyes, hands fumbling for me, and my own eyes close.

I stay there until the exhaustion is too much, and I don't remember anything but eventually pulling her to the side of me and falling asleep.

 

 

 

I wake far before Everly.

I open my eyes to a sight that I thought I'd never see again, and that's her naked self against my chest. My fingers are deep in her hair, and one of my hands rests on her lower back. Her bare skin is warm beneath my palm, and I don't move, not a single fraction of an inch.

Rather than the wave of satisfaction I'd normally feel waking up to this discovery, I feel utterly and completely victorious. Even if she never remembered anything before Evelyn, we'd started over. I felt like I could finally move on from holding onto the fear of what would happen, and things were just fine. We'd begin our lives again, no matter what was thrown our way. I'd like to begin a few things right now, but Everly is fast asleep, and she barely moves when I carefully push her off me.

Last night had been what I never knew I needed. Everything with Everly had been different from the start, despite my protest. No matter what I told myself, I'd never fucked her like I'd fucked Ashley, and I'd only let Everly have whatever she wanted. Slow, fast, her eyes glued to mine, her hands on me. Her legs around my waist, her hands touching me like she owned me. Actions I'd normally have smacked away or lost my shit over, prioritizing my own release over anything else.

But last night was a dizzied blur of exactly what I felt for her. I'd told her I loved her, and I'd been too high on the feeling of being inside her to even listen to her response. Or maybe I didn't need to listen. Maybe I'd known it all this time, and I was the one who needed to say it out loud. To experience it all over again, until my mind was clear.

Either way, I was utterly and completely content. Deeply satisfied over what had happened.

Ready to commit murder to avenge what had happened to her.

I climb out of my bed torn between the reluctance of leaving her behind and the excitement that I'd get a head start on today. My fingers itched to call everyone I knew – Rylan, Jason, Max, even Harrison, to round them up and head out. To find Evelyn, and rip her head clean off her neck and watch her blood pool at my feet. I could picture it now: the way the life would drain from her eyes and the way her skin would grow ashen. Her body would fall to the floor, my face the last thing she saw, defeat the last thing she felt.

I stand up slowly, stretching my spine until it pops pleasantly.

It was like I had been rejuvenated. My weeks of sulking had faded away, my angst over whether or not my wife would ever remember me was gone, and I knew she loved me. I also knew if she happened to wind up pregnant after last night, that we'd both be completely fine with it.

I smile.

Stupidly.

Into the darkness, and wider than normal.

I had everything I'd ever wanted. Needed. I had Everly back, and our relationship would rebuild anew. I had Four's life in the palm of my hand. I had a team surrounding me, working to help me right the wrongs that had been done.

There was nothing left to have, except Evelyn's life as penance for what she'd done.

I walk to the bathroom, catching sight of myself in the mirror, and my eyes narrow. My hair is a mess, having been raked over by Everly's fingers. But my eyes are alive and bright, and the victory courses through my veins, hot and steady.

Evelyn had better watch herself.

She may have succeeded in setting me back temporarily, but my triumph over her would be permanent.

I'd make sure of it.

 

The office is chaos as usual.

"She's gone." Harrison crosses his arms over his chest and shakes his head. "I called you last night and you didn't answer. That was our chance."

"I was busy." I respond easily, and Rylan looks right at me. He narrows his eyes suspiciously, squinting at me, looking for some clue as to what I was doing. I hadn't called him to fill him in on how the dinner went, so I'm sure he was dying to know. "And she's not gone. She doesn't know we're coming. So she'll be there."

Harrisons sighs in exasperation. "I'm telling you, she'll be gone. I'll go with you, I'm not saying I won't. But when you show up, with your second army, you'll find her men. The ones left behind to kill you because they know you'll still show up. Some stragglers. Some deflectors. But not Evelyn. She knows better."

"Okay, old man, do you work for her or what?" Jason glares at him, and he looks irritable. "You seem to know an awful lot about her for someone who is on our side."

"Please." Harrison mocks him. "Have you ever tracked anything since you've been here? A Sarangay? Satori? Spent weeks hunting a Hibagon? Or maybe something as easy as the Vetala?" He emphasizes the last one, and Jason blinks.

"What…no…what even are those things?"

"It's called Wikipedia. Look it up." Harrison nods at him, and he looks at me. "She'll be gone. But it'll be a worthwhile trip. I promise you. You'll kill a few men and make a few points."

"I'm going to kill her." I retort and I cock my head at him. "Where is she then?"

"Beats me." Harrison shrugs. "I did my job while you were off…doing whatever it was you were doing."

"Sleeping. You mean, last night, while I was sleeping. During a time when most normal people sleep." I snap, and he shakes his head.

"You certainly don't look like you were sleeping. But if you want to find her, we need to leave now. We need to get started before we lose the trail." Harrison leans back casually, meaning to brace himself against the wall, but he misses. He stumbles for a moment, then glares at me. "Did you move that?"

"No, I didn't move the wall." I roll my eyes, and Max does his best not to laugh.

"I knew it." Rylan mutters, and he flashes me the 'okay' sign with his fingers. "Fine, let's round everyone up."

"Not so fast." Max steps forward, and he looks at Rylan and Jason. "You both are staying here. Harrison has already assembled a team. You'll keep an eye on Dauntless and make sure nothing goes wrong. And I mean, nothing."

"Just so we're clear, I feel like the way you're saying that hints that something has gone wrong while Dauntless was under our watch." Rylan puts his hands on his hips. "And just to be even more clear, that was Jason who started the foam party. Not me."

"You said, and I quote…" Jason also steps forward, and Harrison and I are now on the outside of this small group. "Keep them entertained. Were they not entertained?"

"I said nothing of the sort. I said keep an eye on things. Either way, you'll stay here. No parties. No foam. No fucking around and no deaths. You make sure everyone in this faction stays alive until the moment we're back."

"Fine." Rylan agrees and Jason nods.

"Okay, so when you're back…then it's okay if someone dies."

"Yes," I snarl, and I look at Harrison. "Who's this team you've put together?"

Harrison smiles widely, and motions for me to head out the door.

"You'll see."

 

 

"This way!"

Four leads us out of Dauntless with the military precision of a preschool teacher. The men accompanying us pay no attention to him, and a few looked at him in confusion when he arrived. Turns out Harrison's team was larger and more complicated than I thought; it was filled with people I'd met a few times, as well as people I'd never met. Men nearly as tall as me, women who looked ready to pummel someone into the ground, and some of the newest members, looking scared for their lives. All in all, they were well trained, armed and ready, and they reported to Harrison.

"All of them?" I ask Max as we walk, and he smiles.

"All of them."

We walk through past the docking bay, toward the trucks, and the men and women line up in an order I can't figure out. They fall into groups, flocking to their assigned trucks, and Four stops beside me.

"You ready?" He doesn't look happy at all, but I suppose leading the hunt for his own mother might put him in a less than cheerful mood.

"I've never been more ready." I answer, and Max and I follow him. We stop at the second truck, and he still doesn't look any happier.

"I'll drive." I cheerfully announce, and Four nods wordlessly. I throw open the door, and I take one long look back at Dauntless. Behind us, the soldiers are getting ready. Almost all are in the large, oversized trucks, and all are awaiting Harrison's command.

Behind all of that, tucked away neatly within the depths of the compound, my wife is sound asleep. I know she's safe in my apartment, warm beneath my sheets, and she'll remain that way until I return home. "Let's get a move on!" Harrison yells, and I smile.

I slide into the driver's seat, and I turn on the engine. It won't be long before I find Evelyn, and I will make this right.


	34. The Mission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading along! Have a lovely weekend everyone!

We're in luck.

Our drive out is quiet; despite our mission, there is little activity going on, and the only noise is when Rylan radios us. He seems bored with having been forced to stay behind in the control room, but he bides his time by keeping me updated. His updates aren't anything of any real importance: he mentions he hasn't seen Jeremy in a few hours. He moans for a good ten minutes that he got his hair cut and it looks shitty. The mess hall is out of his favorite cereal. He thinks someone fell off the wall but he's not entirely sure it was anyone important enough for him to look into it any further.

Four grows more and more irritable with each one, until Rylan gleefully announces he's just shooed out Tris and Everly and how funny was it that they were in there, of all places, looking for me.

"Why? Why were they in there? Where did they go?" Four demands loudly, leaning far too close to me, and I shove him away with one arm.

"Stay in your own seat. And how am I supposed to know?" I glare at him, but I radio Rylan back out of pure politeness. "What the fuck are those two doing? Did you send them home?"

"They wanted to know where you were. I said you were in a meeting." He answers immediately, and I can hear the roar of whatever movie he's watching over the sounds of the control room. "They believed me."

"Doubtful." I retort, and beside me, Four nods in agreement. "But fine. Max had Jeremy update everyone's security cards. I went back and adjusted theirs. The only place those two are going is back to their apartments."

"Smart." Rylan answers, and he casually tells Kacie to bring him some coffee. She immediately refuses, and he immediately tells her to do it or she's fired.

"You messed with Tris' keycard? Why?" Four asks, and I take my eyes off the road long enough to roll them at him.

"I updated her security settings to reflect the position she holds. She had far too much access to places she didn't need to go. And seeing as how she's with Everly, that includes outside."

"Alright." He relents, but only because it means his precious ex-girlfriend is safe for once.

"You can thank me at any time." I point out, and I turn sharply. "Is this where you went to visit your mommy?"

Four throws me a withering look as we approach the run down buildings, but he nods his head at the looming shithole. "You know, all this time and no one even noticed they were here. Marcus drove her out, and in turn, she built her own world. She made a home for those who had none."

"How benevolent of her." I retort, growing exasperated when he sighs. "At what point did you realize she wouldn't be content here forever? That living in this dump wouldn't satisfy her."

"Look, I made a mistake. She asked me questions, and I answered them. I didn't think she was doing anything other than listening to me, and it wasn't until she mentioned Everly that I figured out she was coming for you. My help wasn't enough anymore. She knew she needed more than the army she had, and if you helped her, she'd win."

"What a stupid fucking idea. Like I'd ever help her." I snarl, and to my extreme annoyance, he shrugs.

"I didn't think you would. But she did. She argued with me, and I stopped helping after that. I told her to leave Everly alone, and you'd never side with her, no matter what. It ended up being the last time I saw her."

I shake my head, parking behind Harrison's truck. He's gone around further than I'd like, but I figure he must have his reasons.

"It'll be the last time you see her alive." I remind him, ignoring the wavering of his expression. "Don't you dare forget what I told you."

"I haven't," Four responds slowly, and he opens the door. "You'll marry off Tris. Which one of your lucky friends gets that honor?"

"Depends on how well you take orders, Stiff."

I storm past him, making sure I shove into his shoulder. I still won't ever forgive him; I'll be polite enough now, because I plan on making this go my way. I'll gladly accept his help, because I need to know where his mother is. And I'll be cordial, because Everly has to work with him.

Beyond that, he is no one.

"Over here gentlemen!" Harrison calls out cheerfully. He waves us over by him and his team, and points to the door. "Before we get started, just remember, they know we're here. They know why we're here. And they're waiting for us to walk on in. So be prepared."

"How many are still here?" I ask.

"I couldn't tell, but enough." Harrison adjusts his watch, and points at Four. "You lead the way. The rest of you, listen up! Don't split up until we've surveyed the area. Groups of five, no less. Don't let your guard down. Don't listen to anything anyone tells you. Don't believe them or it'll be your downfall. Any questions?"

Everyone shakes their head no, except one of the smaller soldiers. "We're to shoot on sight, right? No matter who it is?"

"That's an order," Harrison declares, and he winks at Four. "Now that we've covered everything that's expected, it's all you, pretty boy."

Four smiles tightly, stepping past Harrison. He and I lock eyes, and he nods at the waiting soldiers.

A second later, he opens the door into darkness.

 

 

It smells like sulfur.

We head deep below the Earth, descending a crumbling staircase with our weapons drawn. We walk side by side, myself walking along with a man named Tom and Harrison a good distance behind me. It takes my eyes a minute to adjust to the absence of lighting. A few men ahead of me, Four walks carefully; he's not quick enough to appear panicked, but not leisurely enough to make it seem like there's no danger here. Occasionally his hands touch something – skimming over the dilapidated railing, carvings etched into the wall, and shoddy, electrical switches that go nowhere. It's obvious he's familiar with this place, and his frown deepens when we come to a halt at the bottom of the steps.

"Alright." He waits until I'm not far from him, and he points to a hallway. "Down there. This hallway leads to a communal area. To the left are rooms, to the right leads even further underground. I suggest we split up here. Neither section will be safer. If anyone is still here, they'll wait until we're too far in to retreat. There are hiding places up higher. Plenty of exposed balconies and openings. My suggestion is to shoot on sight before they shoot you."

His words die on his lips, because they include his mother.

I take pity on him, but not much.

"You see Evelyn, you shoot to injure, not kill. I'll handle her myself." I announce, and all around me, the men nod. "Anyone else is fair game."

"Eric and I will head into the belly of the beast." Harrison appears beside me, pointing down the hallway. "If anyone finds anyone willing to talk, shoot anyway. It's a trap."

Four closes his eyes briefly, then smiles tightly. "Any other questions?"

There are none. All around us, the area is filled with our soldiers preparing for their hunt. Once no one more can fit in the room, we break off into groups. I head out with Harrison, and we're followed by dozens of men, all awaiting his command. I don't watch to see where Four goes, but I trust he'll do his job. Five steps down later, my radio communicator goes off. I'd only worn it to ensure we had contact with the control room from underground, but it cackles loudly. I fumble with it, and the voice on the other end isn't Rylan, but someone in the offices.

"Radio Three, Eric, come in, Radio Three, Eric. You have activity on two of the keycards flagged this morning. Both attempts denied with no further action. The report just came in from the armory. Respond with any necessary requests."

The voice sounds far away, but it's combined with a rush of falling dust from above. The thud of boots above us is loud, and my eyes fly up to the ceiling.

"Copy that. No further action needed." I respond quickly, quietly. My voice echoes in the dark hallway, and up ahead of me, Harrison shakes his head.

"Shut it off." He slinks back to meet me, and he grabs my arm. "They're close. You're practically announcing your arrival."

"I'm sure they know we're here by now. Our men are trampling everywhere."

"Do you really need updates on everything that goes on in Dauntless, every second of the day? Don't you ever sleep? Oh that's right, you did claim to be sleeping when I needed you." Harrison elbows me, and I throw him a dirty look.

"It's Everly. She and Tris are up to something. I told her to stay in Dauntless and not do anything stupid. I'm going to guess this wasn't her plan, but her dumb little friend's."

"What are they planning?" Harrison asks, and his men sneak past us, holding a finger to their lips. One points into the distance, but other than dying, dismal lighting, I see nothing.

"Who knows. Nothing I want either of them to be doing. Everly still doesn't remember shit, and I don't need Tris involved in this, either. The last thing either of them needs is a gun."

"I see." Harrison grows bored and he takes off. "Eric, draw your weapon and aim to the left. Walk a little faster. They're looking right at you."

I look over at him in surprise, all while reaching for my gun, and a second later, I realize he is right.

The factionless descend on us without a single warning other than the loud crack of a gunshot.

 

 

It takes longer than expected, but we succeed in shooting them down as they come at us. I half expected to find some satisfaction in seeing Evelyn's men drop dead, but they are insignificant pawns in her game. I quickly realize these are the lowest tier soldiers; men and women with absolutely nothing left, and they don't seem to mind their death. They aren't trained well enough to be a huge threat, but there's always the off chance one of them could land a shot.

"All clear." Harrison waves us through, and I step over a man who looks an awful lot like someone I've seen before. I squint at him, but he's no one. No discerning faction, no identification, no personal items on him. Just bloodied clothes and something crumpled in his hand.

I pause, kneeling down to shove him with the barrel of my gun.

When he doesn't move, I pry his hand open, and I pull out the paper crumpled in it.

"What is that? You got something?" Harrison is beside me immediately, and he shines a flashlight at the body. "The fuck does he have?"

"I don't know." I answer him without looking, and I stand up. He waits patiently while I open the page, and my blood boils the minute I see what's on it. "FUCK."

"How did they get that?" Harrison asks, and he reaches for the page. I let him take it, and my vision swims before my eyes. I storm ahead, catching up with the men waiting for us, and I can't even answer the few who are awaiting my command.

I'm so furious I could scream, but that'll do me no good right now.

"You find anything?" Four drops onto the stair beside me, stretching his legs out as the men swarm before us. "We found a good dozen upstairs. Six who surrendered immediately, and another six who wanted to fight. Behind them were another twenty."

"Same." Tom mumbles, and he shoves his hair out of his eyes. It's long and black, and he looks rather violent as he takes a bite of a granola bar. "None of you thought to bring lunch?"

"No." Four shakes his head at the same time I glare at Tom. "We're just waiting for the rest of our group to get back. Two minutes to go over what we've found, and then we head back out. You still heading further in?"

I nod wordlessly as I stand up, and my eyes stick to something on one of the beams.

We'd gone as far as the last factionless body, and the silence was deafening. Where I normally would have found comfort in the dark and the quiet, I found myself antsy, like a current of electricity was running through me. This place was rotting from the inside out, and it made my stomach turn over to think of Everly here. The ground was damp, the air was heavy, and the place looked ready to collapse upon itself. Thick, heavy beams ran in every direction, wired by amateur electricians to give Evelyn what she needed. Lights. A connection to the outside world. Security cameras that didn't appear to be working.

The influence from the other factions was here.

I count the number of security cameras while I walk, watching every fourth one blink. I pause beneath it, looking up at it. I swear it moves, just the slightest bit, and I shake my head.

"Four." I bark his name, and he looks over at me, rising up from the stairs. "Are these active?"

"Not anymore. At one point, yes. But…she had a hard time keeping them on. It's a little different to wire things here than in…"

He pauses, and I blink.

"In Dauntless?" I finish for him, flatly.

To his credit, he nods. "I got them to work for a while. After I left, it looks like she couldn't keep them up. The ones that are flashing are probably dying."

He and I both look at the one I'm standing under, and I'm hit with the overwhelming scent of something burnt.

"Take your men and go. We'll meet in thirty minutes unless you're attacked. We'll reconvene here. If you're not back, I'll assume you need help."

Four agrees; he retreats back to his team, and I wave mine over. I have a heavy feeling looming over me, one as thick and sticky as the air around me.

 

 

My radio crackles as I aim my gun at another faceless soldier.

I can't make out the voice because I'm too far beneath the ground now, and the words are lost in the roar of the bullet taking someone down. I listen to it again, and this time, all I can hear is truck twelve has been reported as in use.

 

 

An hour later, I lose my patience when I don't find Evelyn.

I do find soldier after soldier, crawling out of the woodwork like some sort of infestation. The ones who remain in the deepest part of the compound are the least hopeful, and the most violent. They claw and scratch, stab and swear, and aim wildly.

I gun them down, growing angrier and angrier, as I look for their leader. Eventually, Harrison stops me, when we find an entire group willing to talk. They are scared, shaking with their hands up as we find them, and they immediately surrender. I aim my gun at the oldest one who isn't all that old, and Harrison knocks it away.

"Calm down. They can help us."

"You said it was a trap. You said if anyone wanted to talk, to shoot on sight." I keep my gun aimed at her, noting her bloodied hair and her shiny eyes. She stares at Harrison, pressing herself flatter against the wall until Harrison steps in front of her.

"The others were a trap. Not this one. They just got mixed up with the wrong people." Harrison stops, turning to look at the woman and her friends, and I realize they are her children. "Did he lower his weapon yet?"

The blonde haired one looks at me, and she looks terrified. I finally lower my gun with a huff of exasperation, and she nods slowly.

"Good. We'll take you back with us. You tell us what's been going on here, and we'll get you cleaned up."

"Harrison," I say his name threateningly, and I have no desire to bring this factionless woman and her family back to Dauntless. "No. This isn't why we're here. You're confusing us with Abnegation."

"You're him." The girl blurts out suddenly, and she struggles to stand up. "You're…the leader. Eric. We saw your picture. Please, don't shoot us. We can help you, I promise. But you guys…you don't have much longer. She's been waiting for you to show up."

Her words are a jumble, and she looks at me pleadingly.

"What are you talking about?" I demand, and I shove past Harrison. "Where's Evelyn?"

"Please." The woman answers, and on her words, the lights dim. "Please, just don't shoot us."

"Alright. Fine. We'll take them with us." I step back, and Harrison gestures for her to follow us. "Let's find Four. I'm sure he'll want to hear this, too. Come on."

The girl nods, and I swallow down something metallic tasting as I realize she knows exactly who I'm talking about.

 

 

We find Four and his team outside.

To my dismay, he and the woman confirm exactly what Harrison had been telling me. Other than those with nowhere to go, and the ones we've killed, there was no one left in the compound. Evelyn had caught wind of our arrival and split with her closest confidants. She took a few who could protect her and left the rest to fend for themselves.

He also confirms that Evelyn had messed around with the idea of blowing up the compound. He stresses that she promised it would only happen once she had power, as a way to show her ultimate authority and impress trust upon the factions, but I don't believe him. It's too easy of a plan; insane enough to blow up her own home, but just what she would need to do to show her force.

If she hadn't tried to murder my wife, I could almost respect the idea for its insane plausibility.

Almost.

"It's really gonna blow?" Harrison tilts his head at the cloudless sky, and shrugs. "Seems awfully showy for her."

"The whole thing would go up in flames in a heartbeat." Four points out. "It wouldn't be that hard for her to blow it up to make a point. People would panic and turn to her."

I agree with him on that front. While stupid, it would be an easy way to draw others to her. They'd either fear her or find themselves impressed with how powerful she was.

Still, the idea of her not being here doesn't sit well with me. I don't believe this girl, or Four.

"You think she went to Abnegation?" Harrison questions, and she shakes her head.

"She told us not to look for her. That she'd find us." She answers him quickly, doing her best to stay on his good side. She is soft spoken, and even Four frowns when she tells him Evelyn didn't expect him to show up today. "She never thought you'd betray her."

"I…I didn't…" Four attempts to defend himself, then stops. Her words are toxic and manipulative and have clearly been fed to her by Evelyn. "Did she say where she was going?"

"No." She shakes her head, and her gaze drops to the children next to her. "She said…she'd be okay though. And she hoped the same for us. She thanked us and left."

"How nice." I snarl, and I watch as the smaller child clings to her leg. She stares up at me with large eyes, only looking away when I sneer at her. "I still think you're lying. I think she's here, watching. Take them to the trucks. Harrison, you and I will do one final sweep. Once I'm sure she's gone, we'll head back."

"Fine by me." Harrison shoos them all toward Four, and he points to the side of the building. "There's a room back there. You think she's sitting in there?"

"Anything's possible at this point." I grit my teeth together, and I don't wait for Harrison to follow me. I take off, my eyes glued to the building, and I'm determined to find something. Anything. The closure that I want.

That I need.

It's all I think about as I head back in, determined to win.

 

 

The radio crackles again. It comes in clearer this time, loud in the small space of nothingness.

"Truck Twelve found within assignment distance. I repeat, Truck Twelve, found within assignment distance without the required clearance. Who is responding?"

It echoes off the crumbling walls, thick with cracks and grime, and I tilt my head at no one.

"Twelve? Did we have…twelve?" I ask Harrison while we walk. The room had been a bust; it was nothing but a shitty, empty space filled with garbage. I still hung onto the idea that Evelyn was here, and I wasn't giving up. It felt too convenient for her to have fled, like this was unfinished business between us.

My skin prickles as we walk, and the smell of metal grows overwhelming.

"You really think this place will blow up? That seems too easy for even Evelyn? It doesn't fit." I linger at the junction of the hallways, and I tense up as I hear something. "Harrison?"

"Shut up." Harrison snaps, and for once, I agree with him. The two of us fall silent as we listen to the sound of footsteps, then a faint scuffle. A second later, there is a thud, then a groan.

I take off when I hear the gunshot.

 

 

I'm met with the smell of gunfire. The smoke lingers in the air as I find exactly where the sound came from, and it's there I find the last person in the entire world that I expect to see standing over Colton's dead body.

My wife, who I'd left at home in bed this morning.

Her tiny frame right next to him, fingers clutching the gun she'd shot him with, and her limbs trembling. A bloodied knife. A dead body. A man over twice her size, crumpled before her. In some way, there is a poetic justice to the sight of Everly standing over Colton, but the look on her face tells me she didn't come here to kill him. I see it in her posture, in the way her eyes are wide in disbelief that she'd managed to save her own life, that this was not what she had planned.

I also see red.

In this room, full of death and decay, I see every single fault and triumph in her. I see why Landon wanted her to stay home and be quiet; because in her defiance and her bravery, she could have wound up getting herself killed. I see her determination, bold and brash, and her courage, quick and intuitive. I see her strength and her weakness. Her desire to help combined with the stupidity of making such a rash decision.

I see my wife, all of nineteen years old, having shot the man who'd kidnapped her.

He could have killed her, right here, while I stood a few floors above her.

"Everly." I say her name darkly, the word out of my mouth before I can stop myself. "What happened?"

I walk over to her, taking in everything as quickly as possible. Colton's body, and the gunshot wound. Karl, slowly making his way behind Everly, rubbing the side of his head. He looks worse for wear, and I immediately realize he's brought her here. Out of everyone in Dauntless, he'd taken her from the compound, driven her to a place where she could have been killed, and willingly walked her inside.

It's obvious he's hurt, but not as hurt as he's about to be.

Karl stops next to her, and his eyes find Colton's lifeless body. His expression changes to surprise, then dark dismay, and I realize he was of no help to her. So does he.

"Sorry, Everly."

"I thought I told you to stay in Dauntless." I stare at the both of them in disbelief and my hands tighten into fists. I do my best to logically place all of this together, but I can't.

I'm too furious as to what could have happened. What did happen.

"I wanted to come find you. I thought you were in trouble." Everly answers immediately, her words sincere and honest as ever. She looks panicky now, and I can tell the adrenaline of what happened is wearing off. I know for a fact she would have felt powerful when she shot him, having been the one to decide his time was over, but that would be tapering off now. The after effects weren't always pretty, and I watch her try to take a deep breath. "Eric, I killed him."

Her skin is pale. She looks younger than ever now; her hair too long and her eyes too wide. She's too small, and the gun she has is too large. Colton's body seems immense, and his blood pools beneath him, slowly oozing across the floor.

Everything is wrong.

Everything.

"Why didn't you listen to me?" I rub my face with my hand, and I'm suddenly overwhelming furious at her. Livid. Filled with a rage I did not anticipate.

As if I could have anticipated any of this.

She opens her mouth, but closes it immediately, and her gaze falls.

"Do you realize how unwise it was for you to come here? He could have killed you." I find myself barking at her, and Karl's eyes widen behind her. It takes everything in me not to scream, to shake her and point out that this wasn't a game. This was real, and her life was the prize that everyone had been clamoring for. "You got lucky, Everly."

I say her name nastily, from deep within me. It drags up every second of anger and hurt from these past weeks, and it comes out vicious sounding. I step toward her, around Colton's body, and for the first time since I've known her, she takes a step back away from me.

She looks afraid.

Really afraid.

Of me.

"I'm sorry," she answers immediately, and her voice wavers. The logical part of my brain points out that this isn't fine, even with her apology. I'd left her at home, with direct orders not to leave. Wife or no wife, she'd gone against what I'd asked.

The nonlogical part of my brain is urging me to grab her, yank her against me, and drag her out of here. Tell her this will be fine. That I'm proud of her for killing him, even if it's left her shaking. That she'd done exactly what she should have, as any soldier would be expected, and she'd succeeded in her mission.

"We were supposed to meet Four outside, but we ran into Colton," She answers, dragging her gaze up to look at me. Next to her, Karl looks grim. His head is bleeding, and his uniform is covered in dirt. I would bet anything Colton had launched him down the stairs and gone right for Everly.

I look back at her, watching her push her hair off her face and something behind her blinks. Another camera, or something else. I can't make it out from here, but I don't have time to think about it.

"Four and I figured out it's wired to explode. She would have killed them all without any of them being the wiser." I speak slowly, but I don't move. I get the impression if I do, she'll step back even further. Back into the darkness that's slowly filling the room.

Away from me.

"I hate her." Everly answers carefully, and she wipes at her eyes. The bravery from earlier is seeping away, and in front of me, is a young girl who killed a man who would have killed her without a second thought. She wavers while she stands there, and despite the rush of fury that I feel every time I think about her coming here, I can't focus on that.

I walk slowly, the creaking of my boots the only sound in the room, until I'm right in front of her. She wipes her eyes again, doing her best not to fall apart, and when I'm close enough to her, she reaches for my hand.

I immediately grasp it tightly. I tighten my grip on hers, her skin warm and soft, and I pull her next to me.

"Let's go," I announce loudly, not bothering to wait for Karl to answer. I scan the room quickly, and Everly nods her head. I hear Karl follow behind us, occasionally groaning in pain, and I mentally count the steps we take. Each doorway, down the hallway, past the rooms Everly had been in. She is silent, her hand still clasped in mine, and her boots catch on the stairs.

"Careful." I catch her, pushing her up a step as I hear something click. It's followed by a heavy scent in the air, the smell of sparks, and I immediately flash back to lighting off fireworks in the woods.

I react immediately.

"Run." I shove her forward, out the door, and she trips over the frame. I reach behind me to blindly grab for Karl, and I barely see him as my hand grasps his uniform sleeve. I rip him forward, and we take off right as something beeps.

I knew it.

My thoughts are quick and dizzy as the explosion begins. It confirms my thoughts that Evelyn was nearby, because her timing is only a second off.

The explosion starts as a burst of yellow, then red and orange, and it's right behind us. I can feel it against the back of my uniform, burning and greedy, as it aims to suck us back into it.

Everything slows down.

In front of me, Everly's hair is everywhere, skating up into the wind, floating in the air as she runs. She reaches back for me, her hand grasping wildly to hold onto me, and she trips again when we reach the street. I catch her, dragging her along, one arm on her, and the other on Karl. Eventually, it becomes too much. I choose to let go of him, and rather than dying, he manages to keep up on his own.

We come to a stop in the middle of the street, and the building implodes upon itself. The shell of it lights up from the inside out, its floors collapsing as the wood caves in, and there is a loud explosion as the factionless compound is consumed by flames.

"Shit," Karl gasps, pressing on his side. "You guys weren't joking."

Everly's fingers tighten through mine. I can feel her heart racing, and she watches the building with wide, wet eyes. "Eric…"

"I told you." I turn to face her, and I grasp her head without thinking. One hand on each side of her face, jerking her toward me rougher than I mean to. I can barely think. Had we been a second later, we would have been dead. Her and I, beneath floors of smoke and fire.

"I told you that you were never going outside again." I hiss down at her, catching sight of her frantic nodding. I don't give her the chance to say anything; I kiss her violently, furious and desperate at the thought that this could have been it. Had I not been in there, had I not still been here, she could have been dead. I would have returned to Dauntless, to an empty apartment, an empty bed, not knowing that she had been in the same building I had been.

She reaches up, snaking her arms around me and pulling herself close until there is no space between us. Her lips are salty, the tears from earlier slipping out while she can't stop them. I lean my forehead against hers, and my hand works up her back. Through her hair, tangling into the strands to hold onto her.

I could have lost her again.

Just like that.

"I know you did. And I promised not to," she answers, her lips still against mine, "I won't, never again."

"Don't worry, I'm fine." Karl mumbles, and I'm faintly aware of the noise around us. It's drowned out by the roar of the building collapsing, and the air is filled with dust. It doesn't help the feeling of being unable to catch my breath, and I break away from Everly to look down at her.

"I'm sorry you had to kill him." I look right at her, and she nods her head. She isn't crying anymore, but her eyes are wet and dark, and her cheeks are smeared with blood and dirt. She looks wild, unsteady even in my arms.

"I'm sorry," She looks up at me, and she lets go to wipe at her eyes. "I can't stop shaking."

"I know. It'll pass." I rest my forehead against hers, and I close my eyes. I place everything into perspective, including the screams coming closer. Four is yelling for Karl and me, but I don't look up. "Don't do that to me again."

"Fuck, are you okay?" Four and Harrison are both yelling now. I hear my name screamed, and there is a crash as one of the walls caves in completely. The air is filled with smoke and ash, and Tris yells Everly's name.

She doesn't move.

She makes a small, terrified sound in her throat and her fingers tighten on me. I can't let her go, but she doesn't want me to.

Everly rises up on her toes, and her cheek touches mine. Her lips follow, until she's kissing me again and again, her lips pressed firmly against mine, until her hands have stopped shaking against me.

I only let go when Rylan radios us, politely asking what the fuck did he just watch.


	35. Forgivness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major major thanks to Bamberlee for editing this chapter!
> 
> Just a quick note: This chapter is split in two! It will still line up with The Training, but chapter 36 will be slightly different. This won't make a ton of sense now, but you'll see what I mean next Friday. It's also rated Don't Read This Next To Your Grandma.

"You sent her in after me?"

I stare Four down, one hand on the door I've just shut, and the other pointing in his face. "I should kill you right here. Remind me again why you thought that was a good idea?"

"She refused to leave until she found you." Four's defense is immediate, and so is the dark look on his face. "So, she went in with Karl. You think I'm thrilled with this? The three of them, showing up, nearly getting killed in the last hour? I'm just as pissed off as you are. You said you were keeping them in Dauntless!"

"I tried." I bite down hard on my jaw, and I refuse to let him blame me for this. "But there's no excuse for you letting her go in there. Knowing it was wired to blow up. Knowing your mother would detonate it whenever she pleased. Why? Were you hoping things would turn out differently?"

My words are spoken slowly, with lethal intent.

Everly was safe in the truck I'd driven, sitting and patiently waiting for me to walk around and climb in. Once she'd stopped shaking, we'd joined Harrison and Four, and done a quick count of everyone. Through the smoky haze we tried to get an accurate count, though for a moment, there was a panic when we came up short. Unfortunately, in this fucking sweltering shit storm, we had no choice but to wait it out until the burning subsided to really see if we were missing anyone.

To everyone's relief, it wasn't long before the last remaining soldiers appeared from the sides, dragging along a few more factionless with them.

Harrison did his final head count quickly, in some erratic order, seemingly well aware of every single person he'd brought along. When he had his total, plus Everly, Karl and Tris and the family he'd adopted, he instructed everyone to return to Dauntless.

The mood was unpleasant at best.

For the most part, this mission was neither a success nor a failure.

We hadn't found Evelyn, but we had killed enough of her men to make a dent in her army. Everly had killed Colton, and while it was a clear statement that we wouldn't spare any of their lives, we hadn't done enough. I could feel it, deep within my bones. This was only the beginning.

"Eric, listen to me. I didn't bring them here. I was as surprised as you were when they showed up." Four answers, and he steps closer to me. "Your wife refused to leave without you. I ordered them back to the trucks. Karl only went with her because she wouldn't go back to Dauntless until she was sure you were alive. I told her otherwise. I gave her direct orders which she ignored."

I stare at him.

I take in the weary expression on his face, the stress slowly building up and seeping from his skin, and the fine line his lips are pressed into. It's not the look of a man who sent Everly in on purpose, it's the look of someone who is close to snapping, all of this exactly what he didn't need.

"You think I wanted her to wander down there and get blown up? I didn't. But you married someone who has no clue what she's stepped into. Someone who chose her faction a year ago and has endured this whirlwind ride alongside you. She managed to convince a supervising officer to bring them here, all because she wanted to save you. This is on you. She has no clue of the dangers associated with being married to you no matter how many times she sees them first hand."

He says the last part angrily, and I respond by shoving him. Angrily.

Hard enough that he stumbles, but he recovers quickly, and he shakes his head at me.

"This is your mother's doing. Don't you forget that." I hiss the words at him, and he glares right back.

"I couldn't even if I tried."

He moves to say something, something else that won't make any of this any better, but he's cut short by Harrison.

"Knock it off. You're both right; Everly shouldn't have come here, and Four shouldn't have agreed to let her go down there. Unfortunately, we gain nothing by standing here and killing each other. If Evelyn wants to dismantle the factions, she's starting with the two of you."

He stares at each of us for a moment, then signals the first truck behind me.

"You know she's still watching. Return to Dauntless, gentlemen. This is far from over, but we're done here."

 

 

The ride back is silent.

I'm seething, both over Everly showing up in a stupid act of bravery, and five thousand other things. Not finding Evelyn. Four, letting Everly and Karl walk right into a building rigged to blow. Harrison, for being correct this whole fucking time. Myself, for having made no progress other than bringing back some men and a family who may or may not talk.

I grip onto the steering wheel tightly, and I look only at the road. I can feel Everly beside me, sitting quietly, making herself as small as possible. There's no doubt she knows I'm furious at her. I would never expect her to come after me, to attempt to save my life at the risk of hers, and I can't bring myself to glance her way out of fear that I'll snap at her again.

Instead, I focus on the truck in front of me, and that's it. I'm afraid if I open my mouth I'll really let her have it. That the words won't be what she needs to hear or deserves to hear, but will be ones riddled with the undulating screaming fear that I had nearly lost her.

Again.

This time, while I was standing right there. A few floors away, with no clue she was there.

Her actions made me feel crazy. I had been certain she would stay home, and wasn't like I was asking anything ridiculous of her. I'd only wanted her to stay in Dauntless so this exact situation didn't occur. She was who they wanted, and her showing up, giving Colton one more chance at her, was exactly what I'd hoped to avoid.

To top it off, now I'd have to deal with the repercussions of my wife heading out, bribing or possibly threatening a supervisor, involving others, and nearly getting herself killed. Not to mention the paperwork explaining what had happened, why Karl was injured when he wasn't assigned to be out on duty, how Everly got him to leave Dauntless, and why Tris was involved.

Lovely.

Had I been in a better mood, I'd have found some entertainment in what she'd done. I'd probably have been smug that she'd gotten a much larger and seemingly dedicated soldier to drive her out here, not only stealing a truck, but arming themselves with weapons that weren't theirs. I would have found her smart and cunning for figuring out where I was. Fearless, for walking right into the darkness, not knowing what she'd find.

Alluringly gorgeous as she stood there, having defended herself against someone whose only goal was to murder her.

But I am not in a good mood. I'm in a terrible mood, and I bite the side of my cheek, turning sharply when Harrison veers to the side of the road to avoid some sort of animal. Only then do I allow myself to look at her out of the corner of my eyes, and she looks exactly like I'd assumed she would.

She looks defeated.

She's an absolute mess; her hair is mostly out of the ponytail she'd thrown it in, her hands are folded in her lap, and her uniform is covered in dirt and grime and a few splashes of her kidnapper's blood. Her shoulders are bowed downward, and despite her triumph in surviving the attack, there is no celebration to be had.

None of this feels good.

After last night, after allowing myself everything with her, it feels foolish. I'd let my emotions get the best of me, overpowering the logic I'd clung to for years, and here was my punishment. My wife, nearly getting herself killed, all for some stupid reason.

I look back at the road.

Maybe it wasn't stupid. Maybe there was a part of her that thought her plan was worthwhile, or even expected. Either way, her logic won't make sense to me any more than mine would to her.

Eventually, Everly scoots closer to me. She's never not been brave, and she's brave now. If she were anyone else, she'd risk getting shoved right out of this truck and being told to walk back. To leave me alone, and that I'd talk to her when I could think straight.

Instead, I sigh. Heavily. I feel her so close to me, the shakiness returning and her lips turning down, and I'm unable to stop myself from reaching for her. I find her hand, cold and small, and I slide my fingers between hers. I can't look at her, because I don't trust myself to react the way I should, so I simply tighten my grip and hold onto her.

My throat burns the entire rest of the drive, and we are both silent.

 

"Welcome back to Dauntless."

Jason greets me by leaning over the railing, watching as I ignore him.

"You guys uh, have a good time?"

He calls out while I slam my door shut, and I look up at him while I walk around the front of the truck.

"No." My answer is sharp, and so is his nod.

"Yeah, we got the alert. Three surprise additions to your party, two guns checked out under the wrong name, and one truck, borrowed from a bay without a signature."

I pause with my hand on the passenger door, and I shake my head. "I needed none of that. It was an epic failure. They were waiting for us when we got there, but unfortunately, Evelyn was long gone. Even better, Karl and Everly nearly got themselves killed by showing up and having Four point them downstairs where they met none other than Colton."

"Yikes. For once, I'm glad I stayed here." Jason comments while I fling Everly's door open, and she looks down at me. She slides over hesitantly, and I don't blame her. I might have held her hand, her fingers trembling and her skin freezing, but I was not pleased. The worst of it all was she came for me. Not any other reason other than she was worried about me. Her actions only confirmed Four's shitty warning all that time ago, and it was clear he thought I was the reason she'd eventually wind up dead.

"Gates closing!"

Someone calls out behind me, and there is a rush of activity as the rest of the trucks park in the large docking bay.

"I'll need all the footage you have. I'll go over it tonight." I tell Jason, and I reach for Everly. I pull her out of the truck before she's ready; she half falls into my arms, and I set her down without looking at her. "All cameras. Anything you've got. Every angle. I'll find her if it's the last thing I do."

"Aye aye, cap'n. See you in a few." Jason salutes, then he's gone, heading back into Dauntless. The trucks around us are loud, and so is the clamoring of the soldiers. Harrison escorts the girl and her children past us, and a few soldiers compare battle wounds as they head up the stairs.

"Eric…" Everly says my name, and her hands are holding onto my arms tightly. I look down to hear what she has to say, but she falls silent when Four and Tris appear. Her hands drop away from me, and she shoots them both a very apologetic look.

"Everyone is accounted for. I got the alert from Max. He told me I was fine to go home, but he didn't sound happy." Four informs me. Next to him, Tris doesn't look any better than Everly. In fact, she looks just as distraught, and I can only hope the two of them never speak to each other again after this.

"He's not." I retort and reach for Everly's hand. She immediately tightens her grip on mine. "We're meeting in five. I'll make sure you're made aware of our upcoming plans. You know this is far from over."

I don't wait for his answer.

I see him nod, but I take off, and Everly follows. She holds onto my hand with a death grip, sticking close by my side. The rain had started on our drive back, and it's left the underground colder than ever. I feel her hesitate as she does her best not to slip, and she walks slower than I'd like.

We reach the apartment without ever saying a word. I still can't trust myself to not lose it. I open up the door without letting go of her hand, and despite my wishes of having a single minute alone with her, we're immediately joined by almost everyone. They file in with grim smiles, having heard the news of our mission.

After what feels like stinging defeat, I'm in no mood to talk with any of them.

Max and Tori arrive together. They both have papers in their hands, matching looks of irritation, and they immediately sit down at the table. Peter and Karl follow, and Peter keeps insisting Karl head to the infirmary after this, grimacing at the state of Karl's uniform jacket. Jason and Rylan arrive together, and they both look concerned. I can only assume whatever footage they brought isn't helpful, and they carefully stick to the outer edges of the apartment. Kacie shows up seconds after them. She greets me quickly, throws Everly one very disturbed look, then slinks away to stand by Max.

Arlene is the last to arrive.

I'm not sure who the fuck decided she needed to be here, or why, but she is. She glares at me while she takes the seat beside Max, and her gaze skirts over to Everly because she can't help herself. Her look is sharp and critical, and her fingers twitch to inspect her up close. She only stops when Four and Tris show up, both looking like they'd rather be anywhere else, and Arlene focuses on them.

"We can send out a message tonight. Tell them to shoot on sight if the need arises."

Max talks loudly and works quickly; my exhaustion creeps up the longer I stand there, but I fight it down. Everly is right next to me, and when she sways on her feet, I throw my arm around her and pull her against my side. My apartment is normally a quiet haven, a safe place from all of these people currently in here, and I can tell she wishes none of them were here.

So do I, but they aren't leaving any time soon.

This mission was now personal to me, and it had become personal to them as well.

I watch everyone carefully, making sure they touch nothing. Four and Tris lean back against the wall, both listening to Max speak. Four shakes his head a few times, and his disappointment is plain as day. He finally frowns when Max brings up where Evelyn might be headed, and to my surprise, his stare grows darker.

At one point, Tris looks up at him, and very carefully nudges him with her elbow. Quick enough that no one else notices, but I do. He looks down at her, his expression now unreadable, and she sighs.

Max continues talking, ignoring everything except what's in front of him. I watch Tris look at Everly a few times, trying to silently communicate something, and she's not nearly as subtle as she thinks. Eventually, Everly shakes her head no, and presses herself closer to me, like she'd like to disappear from here.

I share that feeling.

"We'll need to find her photo and make a bulletin. I want it broadcast on every medium tonight, and we'll have it repeat every half hour in every faction. She's to be brought to any Leader if found. No questions asked." Max thinks out loud; he flips through the papers he's brought and looks at Everly and me before turning back to Tori. "Anyone found with her is to be shot as well. We aren't making any exceptions at this point."

"Do you think Marcus would help hide her?" Everly asks me very quietly, so only I can hear. I shake my head no, and my fingers tighten into her skin.

"I think she's on the run. I don't think she'd be smart enough to threaten Marcus into hiding her." I bend down to answer only her, and she tilts her head up. We stay like this, until Tris speaks up.

"Did you find anything useful?" She asks me, doing her best to keep both her question and her interest in this whole event neutral. Judging from the look on her face, Four wasn't any happier than I was that she had shown up. In fact, he looks just as pissed off, both at being forced to stand in my apartment and at having to deal with her pulling this bullshit.

For once, I find myself understanding his irritable expression.

"Not much. There were only a handful of people who remained; ironically, they couldn't remember a single thing. She knew we were coming," I answer her in a sharp tone, and she looks at Everly, then me.

"How many factionless are there?"

I shrug, having no patience for this right now. If she really wanted to know, she should have asked Four on the drive home. "I'm not exactly the one who could answer that question. Enough that she's a threat if they all support her."

"This is just like Jeanine all over again," Peter declares, reclining back in my dining room chair. He looks smugger than ever, having not gone on this mission, but watching it unfold from the safety of Dauntless. He balances back on the legs of the chair, smirking in my direction. "Look how well her plans went over. Oh wait, we stopped them. I think we're making a big deal out of nothing."

"Jeanine was one woman with a few powerful supporters. Evelyn is one woman with an entire army of supporters. She's everything Jeanine wanted to be," I answer him with immense annoyance, and the smug look on his face falters. "And who invited you here?"

It was one thing to watch on the tiny screens in the control room, and another to have been there.

Not that he would know that.

"As one of the fence supervisors, I'm required to be here so I know what to tell the rest of them when I go back," Peter reminds me, daringly brave. "By the way, nice place you got here, Eric. Who would have thought you were so good at decorating?"

"That's enough," Max snaps, and he throws Peter one dark glare. "We'll get started tonight. Jason and Rylan let's plan on sending something out in the next hour or so. Kacie, make sure your control room teams know exactly who and what they're looking for. Eric and Four, meet me at my office in an hour and we'll contact Jack and Johanna. Arlene will be in contact with all the medical centers. If anyone comes in acting suspicious, we'll make sure to have them brought here."

Everyone in the room nods.

"What about Erudite? Who's been appointed to oversee the faction?" Four asks. He crosses his arms over his chest, and frowns. "There's a chance she's headed there, knowing it has no leader."

I narrow my eyes at him.

It wasn't specifically being broadcast that it was still without a leader, but we hadn't appointed anyone just yet.

Luckily for all of us, Tori answers him, having been assigned to help with the process. "Jack's overseeing it for the moment. I doubt Evelyn would head there after what happened with Jeanine. My guess is, she's going to seek out shelter in a less conspicuous place."

Four doesn't look convinced.

And he shouldn't be.

His mother is on the loose, trampling through the factions to find a safe hiding spot. There was no guessing where she'd turn up, or when. The most obvious place she'd go would be Abnegation, especially since Marcus had shown up fearing for his life.

Next to me, Everly shifts her weight to her other foot, and I can feel her shoulders rise up. "They aren't including Marcus in this until they're sure he isn't involved." I answer her silent question, and she nods.

"Are you staying here for a minute?" She asks, looking up at me. I nod my head yes, though really, I won't have much longer than that.

"Any questions?" Max asks, and this meeting mercifully comes to an end. Everyone shakes their heads no, and those sitting stand up. Rylan and Jason stop to talk with Four, both of them asking him a few quiet questions relating to the security footage. Kacie takes a handful of papers from Max, then leaves, but not before staring at my bedroom door for far too long.

"Four, you wanna head down and get a coffee?" Karl bounces over to him, his injuries long forgotten. He seems to have recovered from being attacked, and he sounds enthused to be a part of this. He's not wrong in his excitement, but he's in for a world of hurt when he learns that he'll face consequences for taking Everly out of Dauntless.

Four must be thinking the same thing.

He answers him slowly, while looking at me.

"Sure," Four shrugs, and he catches my annoyed stare. "I'll meet you at Max's office in an hour or so."

Everly and I stand there, my arm still around her, watching everyone head out. Arlene leaves with Max, the two of them frantically discussing something, and for once she doesn't even look my way. The apartment door slams shut with a loud bang, and the silence is all around us.

It fills the apartment, as heavy and tense as the explosion from before.

 

 

She heads into my bedroom silently, looking like she's given up on life.

I suppose it's my own doing; my tablet had lit up the second Max left, and there was no doubt things were going ahead full force. There would be no rest until we found Evelyn, and I was in the thick of it. My emails began dinging, one after the other, until I snatched it off the table. I quickly told Max I was fine with the bulletin he'd whipped up, and I was impressed that he'd spelled her name correctly in such a short amount of time.

I answer a few more, skimming through them at lightning speed, until I decide I am done.

I had to talk to Everly.

I hated to assume what she was thinking and feeling, and I wouldn't. She was aware I wasn't happy with what had happened, and I wasn't going to back down on that. She'd risked not only her own life, but the lives of her friends. The soldiers assigned to be there. The factionless willing to talk. Her ambition was admirable, and in fact, I could appreciate her drive to come and find me. Her will to make things right. Her ability to handle herself in such a situation.

But I couldn't handle losing her.

Not again.

I set the tablet down on the table, and I make the decision to turn it off. Once it powers down, I head into the bedroom, and I spot her discarded uniform. Her shoes, her pants, the jacket she'd had on. The bathroom door is ajar and the scent of something warm and fancy drifts into the bedroom. I hear the quiet motion of water sloshing in the bathtub, and I close my eyes and stand there for just a second.

I'd never once taken a bath in there.

My apartment was far nicer than others, and it included a bathtub that reminded me of my former home in Erudite. The man who'd shown me the apartment had insisted it would come in handy, winking as he led me on a tour of where I'd be living. He would have been disappointed to discover I'd never once used it. I always showered quickly, and other than Ashley stepping in to fix her hair before returning to Erudite, no one went in my bathroom.

Except for Everly.

I shrug my jacket off without looking. It falls to the ground, heavy and dirtied and in dire need of being cleaned. I leave it there, along with my shirt. Belt. My pants, caked with ash and other unknown substances that clung to me while I'd drug Everly out of the building. I leave my boxers there, too.

My intent is to shower this day off.

The bone aching weariness comes right then, drenching me in a feeling of utter despondence. I don't have long before I'm supposed to be back in my own office, sitting across from Max and presumably Four. It'll be a long night filled with questions Four doesn't want to answer, or maybe can't. The thought hits me as I head into the bathroom, that perhaps we'd placed all our hope on him, only to find out that once again, his mother hadn't done him any favors.

I shake my head, determined not to think about it unless I was getting paid. After all, it won't be long before it's all I can think about. I scowl as I head into my bathroom, and I'm greeted with a rush of warm air.

To my surprise, the room feels safe. Secluded and warm, hidden away from everything else.

I've never thought of it that way, but the air gives off a heavy cloud of sweetly scented things, including Everly. I spy her soaking beneath an abundance of bubbles, her dark hair stark against the white tile and the white suds. Her head is bowed down as I walk past her, her gaze glued to the bottle of bubble bath she'd purchased as if she needed to memorize the label.

I saw it on my statement, and it was a comical contrast to the things I normally purchased. Her card was linked to mine for every reason in the world, but it gave me some insight to the things she liked. Soft, flowy clothes that didn't stay on her. Fancy shampoos from Erudite, made to smell like sunshine and rainbows and shit that didn't belong in my bathroom. Shoes, that looked ridiculous next to mine. Bubble bath, an item I didn't even know existed here and would certainly never purchase.

She sinks a little lower when I stop at the shower, and I turn just in time to see her squeezing out a glob of something into her palms. Her hands are raw looking, pink against the white soap, and just like before, she looks smaller than ever. My lips press together as my anger fades away completely, all because of the sight of her.

This was a common theme with her; sometimes the mere idea of her was enough to change my mind. I'd given up my path of helping Jeanine because I wanted to be with Everly in every way possible. I'd given up the golden ticket to ultimate power, the assurance that I'd be awarded anything I wanted. I'd had it in the palm of my hand, Jeanine's name all I needed to make sure my life existed the way I pleased, until I found something she couldn't offer me. Until Everly curled herself to sleep against me, and suddenly coming home to her was the only thing that was important.

Lying with her in bed at night.

Kissing her goodbye.

Keeping her alive.

Of course, none of these thoughts dare pass my lips. I find myself frowning at the sight of her back, her shoulder blades too sharp beneath her wet, tangled hair, and her frame too slight to have killed a man. I frown when her hands shake, her fingers struggling to fight off the after effects of taking someone's life. She was well trained in how to shoot a gun, how to defend herself, how to kill when needed.

But doing it was different than thinking about it or practicing it.

I know I should tell her this. I should reassure her this is normal and expected. Her hands might burn for a few days, and there's little doubt Colton won't show up in her dreams as her subconscious mind deals with him just like her physical body had.

I should tell her all of this, but instead, I pause at the edge of the bathtub, and I force myself to utter something to her.

"Move."

It comes out as an order; the same low, intimidating tone I'd have barked at her to make her run faster.

It works the same way as my orders during her training; she scoots forward, dropping her head down further and her hands sink beneath the water.

I stare at her for one more second before I step into the bathtub.

There is an immediate shift to both her and the water. It sloshes to the side, having been filled to accommodate only her, and she freezes in place. To my surprise the water is nearly scalding; it's like she had the same idea to burn away what had happened, and the warmth is all encompassing as I sit down gracelessly.

I'm entirely unprepared to discover that we both fit. I knew the tub was large, but I was expecting some awkwardness as I arranged myself around her. I find none. I place one leg on each side of her, easy considering she's as far away as she could be, and I prop my feet up at the end. I reach for her without thinking; my arm finds her waist, and I pull her back between my legs, ignoring the way the water spills over the rim and onto the floor.

Despite everything that's happened today, there is no hesitation on her part.

She leans back into me, her head finding my chest and her damp hair sticking to my skin. I sigh in relief at the feel of her, real and soft and warm, and I close my eyes.

There is nothing but she and I, surrounded by the overly sweet bubbles.

Alive.

"I'm sorry I didn't listen to you."

She speaks suddenly. She is quiet, but very honest in her apology. My response to her dies in my throat. It is the need to remind her of her place here, still very real and pressing, but also very unnecessary. I want to hear what she has to say, so I swallow the noise down, and she takes my silence as a cue to keep talking.

"I know. I should have stayed here. I put your whole mission at risk, and I involved Tris and Karl…" She pauses, and my knees move inward, subconsciously keeping her in place. She shifts slightly, her head in the center of my chest, and the anger slowly ebbs away.

I can't be entirely furious, because she did what she thought was right. It was a lack of experience, of knowledge of how Dauntless operated, of pure naivety from a new member.

It was because she was Everly, determined to make things right the only way she knew how.

"I sometimes forget how young you are." I answer her lowly, to the back of her hair, knowing that her gaze is on our legs. Since her first day here, Everly had been wise beyond her years. She'd stuck by me, knowing I had the power to ensure her survival in Dauntless. She'd listened, been far more mature than Four's entire class, and had never once given me reason to doubt her commitment. None of that negated the fact that she was nineteen. "I know the idea of coming after us probably seemed like your duty as a member of Dauntless, as someone who I personally trained. Maybe even as my wife."

I pause, thinking of the moment I saw her, standing above Colton with a look of shock on her face. I won't deny that I was proud of her, furious, but still proud. I'd trained her well, and she'd done just fine. It just wasn't necessary. Her showing up wasn't anything I'd wanted, especially today. Getting her to realize that without making it seem like I didn't trust her would be tricky. I didn't want her to doubt her own instinct, but there was a time and a place for it.

She stays still as my fingers graze over the skin of her arm, tracing an aimless pattern.

"But, Everly…. I don't know how else to tell you that I don't want to lose you. I can only keep you safe if you let me." I slide my fingers down her arm, until they touch her wrist. Her hands are no longer shaking, but the evidence of today is all over them. I linger over the bone of her wrist, before taking her hand into mine. I then turn it over, examining the skin that must be burning beneath this fragrant hell. "I've told you that before."

She nods her head and pushes herself back against my chest. "I thought I could help."

"You don't need to prove anything to me, Everly." I drop my head down. My nose touches her hair, and I stay there, feeling her breathe in and out. I can feel her pulse in her throat, steady and strong, and the relief of her being alive is intoxicating. She waits a few heartbeats before she reaches up, sliding one hand up to reach for me. She finds my hair, pulling her fingers through so she can hold on.

"I know. I just wanted to save you," she answers, and there it is. Her reasoning for coming after me. Her logic is faulty and laughable, but of genuine concern.

"You should know better. I can take care of myself. I don't need to be saved. Not like that." I let out a huff of exasperation, more at my words than anything. I've never needed anyone to save me, but there is something to be said about what she did. Just like no one would have noticed if she'd gone missing in Amity, no one would have come after me had I turned up missing from this mission.

Sure, Max might have sent soldiers out to search, mostly out of duty and respect and an unwillingness to be burdened with my work.

But none of them would care, not like this. Not like Everly, worried that I wasn't going to return. Brave enough to drag her friend along with her, brave enough to risk her life for me. It wasn't what I wanted, but I couldn't ignore the sentiment behind it.

She was the first person to ever express any sort of concern for me, even if it was stupid.

I lean back away from her, feeling the immediate slap of cool air between us, and I reach for her shampoo. She watches me out of the corner of her eye, squinting when she realizes what I'm doing.

With her words, I've realized the only thing left to do is clean up. Wash away the weight of her actions and the last bit of frustration I have. I work the shampoo between my palms, and she closes her eyes when my hands touch her hair. It's not as easy or as disgustingly romantic as the idea seems; her hair is long and everywhere, but she leans back when my fingers work through the twisty strands.

There is one searing moment of anger when I realize the last time I did this, we were in the shower together, but she doesn't know that. In fact, she may never remember that I'd gotten it in her eyes, having been more focused on other things than washing her hair.

After a second of scrubbing, she sits up a bit and leans forward. "I need to tell you something."

She whispers the words, and I immediately tense up. My fingers dig into her hair, and I force myself to shake away the unease I feel. There's nothing she could tell me that will change anything, especially now.

"What? That you've finally agreed you won't go outside ever again?" I deflect by resuming what I'm doing; I work the shampoo through her hair, enjoying the way she sinks into my touch. I get to the ends, sort of, nearly running out of shampoo for all her hair. I pull it through the bottom, tugging the strands around my fingers without thinking.

"Well?" I ask when she stays quiet. She wiggles away from me to rinse her hair out, and I help her the best I can. Once we're both satisfied, I reach for the bottle of soap next to the shampoo. She leans back against my chest, still silent, and I take her hands in mine. I examine them quickly, making sure there's nothing too terribly wrong, before I begin to work the soap over them. I take my time, important that I rid her skin of every invisible speck of Colton. When I'm satisfied, I let go of her, and she turns around to look up at me.

I look down at her. She is quite the sight, especially when she smiles. Her eyes light up, and her next words are the ones I had given up on hearing.

"I remember."

I freeze.

My head stays tilted ever so slightly, and I stare right into her gaze.

My former initiate, who I'd married well before she finished her training. The only person on this Earth who I gave two shits about. The only person I'd ever told that I loved, ever dared to entertain the thought that there could be more to my life here with her, looking up at me. Informing me that after all this, she remembered.

"Everything?" I ask her slowly, wondering if this is a trick. Surely, she couldn't remember every moment between us, especially after hitting her head for the thousandth time.

But she smiles again, happy and bright and all for me.

"Yeah. Were you ever going to buy a new toaster?" She teases. Her lips turn up into a grin I'm familiar with, and just like that, my life clicks back into place.

All of it.

"I've been busy." I swallow, pulling her closer, until she's back against my chest. Every cell in my body rejoices, shrieking in triumph at this news. My legs sink beneath the water, and I recline back. Enough that I can make sure she's as close as possible, working my arms around her waist.

"When did you remember?" I ask, but it doesn't matter. All that matters is that she's Everly, my Everly, and all is right in my world. I drop my head down to kiss her neck, shoving her wet hair out of the way, kissing her with far more restraint than I expect from myself. She smells like heaven, warm and clean, and I move downward. Drunk, when I realize I can kiss her as I please, without pretending I'm fine if she doesn't remember us.

"Before you left. I wanted to tell you, but you were gone when I woke up." She answers, half groaning as I kiss her jaw. I kiss her below her ear, making my way up slowly. One of my hands finds her hair, holding her in place, and I ignore the slight pang of guilt that I should have left more than a note to stay put.

"Sorry," I mutter, too relieved to focus on anything but the feeling of her. I give myself the gift of resting my cheek against hers, and not moving. I break away to drag my lips up to her hair, kissing her temple while my fist tangles in the slippery strands of her hair.

I have no intention of letting go of her.

Ever.

"Eric?" She says my name gently, and she sighs when I break away. I touch her cheek, my fingers trailing back into her hair, and I push her hair out of her eyes.

She is young looking.

Her skin is clear and pretty, and her eyes are greener than ever.

I hold onto her for a moment longer, and I make the snap decision that I'm not going into work. In fact, I have other plans, and I will graciously let Max and Four take the lead on this. The two of them can figure out the next step, because I am taking the night off.

I let my head rest against hers, closing the world in so it's just her and I, and I smile.

Things will be right again, I'll make sure of it.

"Let's get you ready for bed."

She smiles again, pretty and happy and just as relieved as I am.

 

Twenty minutes later, I help her step out of the bathtub.

She takes the towel from me, wrapping it around herself, and watching me carefully. I'd helped her finish washing her hair, and she'd pretended to help me wash mine. She wasn't of any use at all while she sat between my legs, her hands on my face, laughing when the shampoo began to head right for my eyes. But she was Everly, pretty and sweet and she remembered who I was.

Things felt good, normal, and more clear than before. It was like I was seeing her for the first time, truly realizing what I had, and I was hell bent that nothing like this would ever happen again. The only thing bothering me was the image of her retreating from me still in my mind.

She walks past me now, slipping into the bedroom to find something to wear, and I see it again. Her stepping away from me, like she was afraid that I might hurt her.

She'd never been scared of me, not even when she should have. Perhaps she'd panicked at the rage I'd felt when I saw her, knowing she didn't grasp the severity of the situation. Or the way my hands had clenched into fists, more so that Colton could have murdered her and while I was in the same building.

Either way, I want to make sure.

I find her by the dresser, just about to open the drawers. My good mood slips at the sight of her, because once again, I'm struck by how tiny she is. How easy it would have been for him to kill her. How small and unassuming she'd have looked to him.

How nice the sight of her, half naked in my bedroom, is.

"Everly." I say her name loud enough that her head snaps to me, and her skin is even paler in the low lighting. "Come here."

She heads toward me without question; I sound like an asshole, barking at her to walk to me, but I want her to trust me. If my own wife is afraid of me, then I've done everything wrong, even if I'd only meant to keep her safe. But she closes the distance between us, stopping only to look up at me.

Her eyes are dark, and she waits patiently, in nothing but her bath towel.

"Why did you step away from me? Back at the factionless compound," I ask, low and careful. "Were you afraid that I would hurt you?"

My words hang in the air, and it's to my great relief that she shakes her head no. She fumbles with the towel to keep it up around her, still meeting my stare full on.

Out of everyone in this faction, she's the only one who I wouldn't want to fear me. I'd promised her I'd never hurt her, and it was a promise I intended to keep. I'd done my best to show her this, to prove everyone wrong who thought I'd end up harming her.

"No. I'm not afraid you'll hurt me. I was overwhelmed by how angry you were, and afraid you might not ever forgive me." She pauses and tilts her head up further to make sure my eyes are locked on hers. "I could never be afraid of you, Eric."

I nod, and my gaze drops to the side of her. To the dresser, where her things had been sitting all this time. To the insignificant shit; hair ties and nail polish and a few shirts she'd purchased not too long ago, things that had nearly done me in. Had things gone differently today, I could have been walking home to discover these all over again. To walk by them, knowing she'd never touch them again.

"I don't want to lose you either," Everly is soft with her words, and smart.

It hurts that she'd ever think she could.

"You're to stay here. Unless I bring you with me." I declare all over again, still not entirely sure she understands what I'm asking. I want to feel confident that she gets it. That all I'm doing is trying to keep her alive. My mind won't let me have the peace I want, so I decide I'll make my own. I'll shut it up, and I'll focus on what's right in front of me.

Her.

She nods her head.

"Good." I bend my head down, and my lips touch hers before I'm aware that I'm kissing her. I'd kissed her hours ago, but it was different. That was out of frantic relief that she hadn't been killed, and this time, it's out of frantic relief that she's agreed to stay put. She presses her lips harder, sinking against my chest, and it's not enough.

"Forever," I add, making sure she's aware that I mean it. I'll do everything in my power to keep her here, where I know she's safe. I should be working on that now, but she presses herself into me, nodding her head until her lips touch mine again.

"Yes," She mumbles against my mouth, and the rush of triumph is immediate. I pull her forward, picking her up until her feet leave the floor, and I walk us back until I can set her down on the bed. She doesn't waste any time at all. She pulls me down with her. Her legs find mine, pushing herself closer, and for once- her skin is warm.

I settle on top of her, pushing away a few stray strands of hair off her cheek, so I can see her face, and I don't think I'll ever feel this way again. Not for anyone else, only for her.

"I won't lose you again."

She nods her head yes, answering even though I didn't ask her anything. My words are a definitive statement, one I will not waver on. I won't let her out of my sight. There is nothing that can convince me, not after all of this.

Her arms loop around my neck, pulling me down to her. Her agreement is all I needed. Eventually a day will come when she will tire of Dauntless. She'll long for sunny skies and fresh air. To skip through the city or wander out in the darkest of night, to be free from this underground world.

It'll come, and I'll have made sure it's safe for her to do just that.

I kiss her lips, full and soft, warm and willing, and I raise myself up just enough to knock her towel away. It falls open, and I'm rewarded with the sight and feel of her naked skin, just for me.

"I don't know what I would do…" My confessions keep coming, falling from my lips like I'd planned to tell her every single thought that's occupied space in my head since I found her in Amity. I slide my hand up her stomach, over her ribs, reveling in the fact that I've never once taken this much time to simply look at any woman before me. "If something happened to you."

My fingers move higher, greedy on their own right. Last night had been the same; I'd touched her as I pleased, slow and purposeful, wanting nothing more than to consume her. To give in, after our time apart. Tonight is no different. My mouth finds her while my fingers move to cup her breast, squeezing as her eyes close, and she responds just like Everly.

Her fingers dig into my neck, her lips part open. She smiles against my mouth, content as ever at the turn of events. I'm sure she was expecting me to shove a shirt at her and head back into work, but this is more important. I focus on her, on my tongue in her mouth, her thighs against my own, on the aching erection that had started the minute I pushed her back onto my bed.

"I've missed you," I tell her, liking when she pushes her hips up to meet mine. I kiss her sloppily, losing my focus in that moment, and she wiggles in search of friction. I pull away, letting my nose run along her jaw, enjoying the way she impatiently tries to pull me back where I was. She's never had much self-control, and she certainly doesn't have any now.

I look up at her, my fingers having moved down her side, over to her hips. I trace the curve of her waist, skimming down her side to hold onto her. Her eyes meet mine, dark and lovely, and somehow as warm and gentle as ever.

"You have no idea how much I've missed you."

Everly's words could have been my own. She reaches for my hair, threading her fingers through the longest part, and I move back up over her. I bend down to kiss her, slower and more gently than anything before, and her tiny sigh of satisfaction is all I can hear. My whole world seems to darken until she's all I can see, and the rush between us could be explained as nothing more than a burst of dopamine- both at her close proximity and the fact that we both know what's coming. The desire to have sex with her because I can, but it's not that. It's something stronger than a dose of endorphins making me slide my fingers between hers, making me slow down, making me hold onto her in a way I haven't.

I lose track of how long her mouth is against mine. My hand moves to her hair, digging through the strands to cup her head. The other is on her side, keeping her right against me. I lose track of everything but how she feels; skin against skin, want against want. I feel her warm up, her fingers tensing and pulling as she grows impatient, and I mirror those feelings. My hips push against hers, wanting badly to ease the aching hardness between my legs.

I distract myself by kissing her neck, down to her shoulder.

"I want you, Eric," She says my name slowly, right as I find her collarbone. I kiss my way across her skin, not ready to give in to her just yet. I had every desire to celebrate her memories returning. Nothing pleased me more than her remembering everything, especially now. Her nails scrape against my scalp as I lick my way over her skin, unwilling to take my mouth off of her.

"I know," I mumble against her, using one hand to hold her where I want her. My lips find her breasts, and her soft skin reacts just the way I want it to when my lips close around her nipple. She responds by groaning, pushing herself higher, doing her best to stop the same achy feeling that I share. My hips shove against hers, against the bed sheets, against her leg, anything to relieve the growing pressure.

It does little to help.

I lazily move to the other side, and she lets out a sweet sounding gasp.

I like this.

It's not anything that I'd ever imagined myself doing. My goal had always been to get off. To sleep with Everly because I wanted to, until that turned out completely different than I'd thought. Even after being tricked by her, the idea of making love to her wasn't anything I ever considered. I knew she and I had something different, that I liked having her sit on my lap, and I liked watching her fall apart while her cheek was against mine. I liked hearing her gasp my name, groaning it in the darkest parts of the night and the laziest part of the morning.

I liked watching her eyes close, her cheeks darken, and her fingers tighten on me. I liked her hair against my skin, her small hands holding onto me for dear life, her lips pressing against my neck while I thrust into her.

I had very stupidly decided I liked all of this and it was, in fact, very much me, making love to her.

I was smart, yet clearly an idiot for thinking I was immune to feeling something like this. I feel it now, kissing down over her ribs while she does her best not to giggle, nudging her hipbone with my nose. A single night ago, I'd had the idea that I could have a child with her.

I'd thought of this while buried deep inside her, knowing full well that she'd refused her birth control. Something in me felt changed, like the idea had been planted in my mind long ago and bloomed in that very moment. The idea of her carrying my child, visible, tangible proof of what I felt for her, was the most appealing thing of all. That I could have her, and possibly a family, and I'd really have it all. I'd have succeeded in ways I never imagined, and suddenly, there wasn't anything wrong with how I wanted to sleep with her.

I'm brought back down to Earth when I feel her sit up, doing her best to look at me. She gives up after a second, when my mouth finds her inner thigh, and I know her head has fallen back. I want to remind her to be still, that I'll make sure she gets what she wants.

I push her legs open wider, in no rush at all.

I'd spent weeks thinking she was dead. Weeks tortured by the fact that she was alive, but not Everly. A single night rejoicing that she still loved me no matter what.

Tonight, I would celebrate the return of her memory, and her agreeing to stay in Dauntless for the rest of her life.

I glance up again, catching sight of her narrowed eyes and her sulky expression, and it makes me smirk. There is everything wonderful about her impatience, about the lusty look in her eyes, and the pure want across her face.

I decide she can wait another minute.

I kiss down her leg, pleased that there isn't a single mark on her skin despite her scuffle with Colton, and she lets me. I grasp her by the ankle, then I start on the other side. She shivers as I work my way up, and when I'm right where she wants me to be, I'm rewarded with her gasping my name. She gasps it the minute my tongue touches her, and I smirk against her.

I take great delight in her reactions, especially the way she moves around me. I was hard before, but I'm painfully aroused now, especially when her legs bend in toward me.

Still, I take my time. I had quickly learned what Everly liked, and I'd never forget it. Knowing I was the only one who'd ever gone down on her, licking upward, until she groans my name slowly and her breathing comes in erratic bursts, was all I needed. I pull back slightly, then move up higher. Her fingers tighten, sliding through my hair as she does her best to hold me in place. In response, I change tactics. I return my attention to her clitoris, sucking gently. Her immediate moan tells me she's enjoying this, and I pull away only to slide my fingers inside of her.

She blurts out something that I can only assume was supposed to be my name. I put my mouth back on her, licking her slowly, until I can tell she's close. She writhes against me, whining in desperate want, but I don't give in to her. Not yet. She's too lovely like this, all worked up against the sheets of my bed.

"Eric."

She does her best to say my name again, and her eyes open as I pull away from her. I want to commit this image of her to memory, never forgetting how beautiful she looks. How pretty she is, even though the look on her face tells me she could kill me in my sleep for stopping.

I rise up on my knees, and without thinking, I stroke the length of my cock. My own hand is hardly what I want, but after all this, it feels better than expected.

Everly's eyes widen. She watches me carefully, her eyes glued to my hand.

"Yes? Did you want me to stop?" I stroke myself up and down, to the sight of her. I tighten my grip when she chews on her lip, and I wonder if she knows how many mornings I woke up, swollen and hard and wanting nothing more than to bury myself inside her. How many cold showers I took, occasionally giving in to the urge to jerk off, always doing my best to pretend it wasn't because of her in my bed.

Everly shakes her head no, and her own orgasm is long forgotten as she sits up just a bit. Before I can say anything, she reaches for me, her hand touching mine, and I move to knock her back. But she's quick, and I can't tell her no when she looks up at me.

"Let me touch you."

She protests with great determination. I find myself nodding as her hand closes around me, and I swear my dick twitches in her palm. It's the sight of her, naked, carefully moving her hand up and down. She mirrors what I had been doing, and it's embarrassingly quick before my eyes shut. I could come in her hand. It wouldn't take much more than this, especially with her so close to me. Her hair tickles my thigh, and the room is silent except for me, breathing in sharp pants, and the sound of her stroking me.

She pauses to sit up, and then changes tactics completely. She pushes me back, until I'm sitting and she can climb onto my lap. She moves easily, and her arms immediately wrap around my neck. She settles herself into place, still further away than I'd like, but just for the moment. I wait until she's comfortable, and I find myself staring at her. Noticing how her eyes are a darker green, and her lips are swollen. How beautiful she is, has always been, and will always be. I reach up to brush her hair out of her eyes, and I much prefer when I can see her whole face.

I realize I'm smiling at her, something slight but sincere, because I thought I'd never have this again.

She smiles back.

I lose it then, crushing my mouth against hers, and all gracefulness is gone. I do my best to hold onto her; I cup the back of her neck with my hand, and the other is around her back. I pull her against me, wanting to feel her skin against mine, wanting anything and everything.

There's a rush of blood to my head when she wiggles, and in return, I spread my legs slightly. I want her and only her, but I like this too. I especially like the way she falls forward when I drag my fingers over her thighs, between her legs, until I find the warm wetness from earlier. I resume right where I left off, touching her until I've found her swollen and soft, and she groans my name.

"Eric."

It's supposed to be my name.

It's hard to hear, because she's buried her face in my neck, rising up to let me touch her. She whimpers as I stroke faster, and she's right there, right against the blocks on my throat.

"I love you."

This time, I hear her.

I know she's always felt more for me than she's let on. She's always given me everything, and in return, asked that I let her stay. Let her get close. Saw her for who she was. It wasn't at all long before I loved her, maybe before she loved me.

It doesn't matter.

I don't stop touching her. I feel her writhing against me, her hips arching up and her body tensing. I know that a few more slow circles will have her moaning my name, and I want to hear it. I want to hear her say she loves me, over and over, while she comes.

To my surprises, she wrenches herself away from me.

I look at her, catching her wild expression and the flash of frustration, but she shakes her head.

"I want you, on top of me." She is direct, and she scrambles off my lap before I can move. She lies back against the sheets, and I find myself pulled right on top of her. I blink in surprise at what she's asking. This is by far the last position I'd ever think of. I preferred her on top of me, because I could see her better. I liked her against my chest, as close as possible.

But if this was what she wanted, I wouldn't refuse.

I move until I'm right between her thighs. I can feel how slick and wet she is, and I give myself a single second before I slide inside her.

I'm immediately screwed; she's tight and wet and hot, and the feeling of her around me is too good to be true.

"Like this?" I grunt the words at her, trying to focus. My head has bowed down to touch hers, and my hips thrust on their own.

"God, yes," she gasps, tightening her fingers against the back of my head. Despite my aversion to fucking like uptight Stiffs, she is perfect. This is perfect. She's soft and warm beneath me, and I can feel every inch of her. I still for a second, unwilling to give in to the start of my orgasm, and I glance down at her.

"Everly," I say her name, and it comes out as a sigh.

I try to focus only on her, the feeling of her beneath me, the way her hips rise up to meet mine, the way things are so slow that this feels dreamlike. I have to admit, deep down and hidden somewhere I'd been ignoring, this feels far too good. How I had ever though I'd dislike her like this, slow and gentle, fingers pulling me closer, the two of us in no real hurry to do anything but this, was beyond me.

I move away from her mouth, ignoring the aching pull that's building in my thighs, to simply lose myself in this moment, and I kiss down her face. Her cheek, her jaw, her neck. My motions become less practiced and more lust driven; I forget that I had never intended to want her like this and I focus only on us. I kiss the juncture of her neck and shoulder, licking her skin and sinking my teeth in where I please, and she moans my name in return. She draws it out, tensing up around me, and I screw my eyes shut.

"You feel so good," I groan, then again, when I feel her hook her leg behind mine. Her hands skim over my back, down as far as she can reach, until she grabs my ass. The feeling of her urging me on, nails digging in mixed with the whimpering escaping her lips is all it takes. I come with blinding force; everything is a dark blur, and I ride out the feeling of ecstasy right along with her.

When I come to, I realize she's got one hand on the back of my head, holding me against her, as she struggles to breathe normally. I stay collapsed on top of her, mumbling over and over that I love her, until I'm too tired to move.

She and I lie there together, until everything darkens and I don't remember moving off her.

 

 

It is with great reluctance that I force myself up and off her. Sliding out from inside her was bad enough but untangling myself from her is even worse. If she were to open her eyes and so much as blink in my direction, silently pleading for me not to leave, I would.

Luckily, she barely moves.

She's fairly out of it, having been sated by the past few hours, and I hate that I'm leaving her behind once again. I take the fastest shower imaginable, and I dress in the dark. By the time I lace my boots up, she's turned over, burying herself beneath the covers even further. I pause by the side of the bed, taking in the bare skin of her back, and I wish a thousand deaths upon Evelyn.

"I'll be back as soon as we're done. You do have my permission to come save me from Four."

I inform her lowly, knowing she's not really awake enough to comprehend what I'm saying. I linger by the bed, still unwilling to leave. After spending my night with Everly, the thought of sitting across from Max and Four isn't at all pleasant, but I can't completely dismiss my job here. No matter how badly I want to.

I lean down, tracing the slant of her cheekbone with my fingers. She still doesn't move, so I bend down further, and I press my lips to her forehead.

The action is soft and unassuming, but it speaks volumes. She's the only person I've ever truly kissed, and this slow, prominent affection has always been only for her. I let my hands stay in her hair, then I slide them down, just needing to touch her one more time.

Eventually, my phone begins to vibrate, and I know they won't leave me alone for much longer. I pick it up, stomping down the hallway, and I only pause to turn the heat on. There's a chance she'll wake up if she's cold, having not heard where I was going, and this will hopefully prevent that.

I leave Everly sleeping in my bed, and the image of her stays in my mind the entire walk to the office.

 

 

The meeting is both productive and insightful.

As much as it can be at this late hour. The room is crowded; Max sits at the head of the table, next to Four. Jason and Rylan are already here, both looking utterly caffeinated. Tori and Harrison are sitting close together, pouring over one of the maps he'd brought. This one is color coordinated, but the entire thing is mostly red. Next to them is Linda, looking both enthused and confused, and next to her are Peter, Karl, and a few members from Harrison's secret task force.

And lastly, Jeremy is dragged in from somewhere, and the look on his face is of utter panic.

And it should be.

Despite being a Leader in training, he'd been noticeably absent as of late. But not noticeably absent from my radar. A few weeks ago, Rylan had pointed out that Jeremy was oddly fixated on Everly. He had noticed that Jeremy followed her around, pressed her for what information she knew that he didn't, and was obsessed with whether or not she was really married. How she had married me. He loomed over her, just as tall as I was, and he stared down at her as though he were trying to figure her out. He showed up in the same places she did, never close enough that we'd notice the odd coincidences, but too often for them to be accidental.

Once this was brought to my attention, Rylan and Jason had immediately sprung into action. They were already following Four, and they were somewhat more subtle when it came to Jeremy. Jason began popping up whatever shift he worked, and Rylan figured out his password to log into his computer. After days of digging through his files, he discovered there was an odd conversation of dialogue via email, with someone named Moose. It was easy to see they were speaking in some sort of code, and to the untrained eye it had looked like nothing. Old friends, arranging times to meet up, in a neutral location.

Their intent was never revealed, but Everly's name was mentioned.

Often.

In fact, there was a picture of her and me.

From a security print out.

It wasn't anything new; just a grainy photo of us walking. The focus of the photo wasn't me, but Everly. She was dressed in her training clothes, and I was looking down at her. The size difference was noticeable, as was the absence of her wedding ring. It told me it had been taken ages ago, and that Jeremy had been watching her for a long time.

It was the same photo I'd found in the dead man's hand in the factionless compound. At the time, I'd wondered how on Earth someone would have had it. Hacking our security feed wasn't an easy task, and it would take someone with insider knowledge to know just where to look for her. My first thought had been Four. That he'd given it to his mother, like a dog bringing in a dead bird as a gift, to prove his loyalty to her.

But it didn't match up.

He didn't like me, but he still held some odd, valiant concern for Everly's wellbeing. Her name had been the breaking point for him to stop assisting Evelyn, and it was unlikely he'd go as far as giving her such a photo.

But now, it made sense.

Jeremy was paranoid and sketchy, often disappearing but always the first to volunteer to go after Four. He was quick to slide the blame over to his girlfriend's ex-boyfriend, and Four was the perfect scapegoat. He was already in trouble for leaving, for aiding a wanted criminal in her plans to rule the world, and he was wallowing in his own depression of having lost Tris. He was the perfect person to assume the blame without it looking suspicious. It explained Jeremy's fixation with both him and Everly.

Jason had put it all together after hanging around the patrol squads long enough. Turns out Jeremy wasn't immune to being bribed, and he stupidly thought Evelyn had a chance at succeeding. He'd given her what she needed, a photo of what she wanted: her ticket to ruling over the city.

Rylan had wanted to shoot him.

He thought it was appropriate, and he didn't care that we couldn't prove it was Jeremy who'd printed out the photo. Kacie had confirmed he'd been in and out of the control room but observing security footage wasn't out of the realm for his position. He knew where the security cameras were, and any footage of him talking with anyone was conveniently gone. Even with all this, we were running on a thin suspicion that we couldn't entirely prove.

I had a better idea.

I smile at him when I sit down, closer to Four than I'd like, but I needed this to work in my favor. From experience, I knew that those who were hiding something were always looking for signs to prove their own theories. Aligning myself with Four, sitting closely and defaulting to what he thought, would shake Jeremy. He knew our relationship was shit; my hatred of Four would further his own innocence, so my sudden niceness would throw him off. He'd second guess everything he'd been believing, and essentially, he'd fuck himself over.

I was right.

The minute I politely took the paper from Four, throwing him a wide, cocky grin, Jeremy shifted in his seat.

While I listened to Max talk about prioritizing finding Evelyn, I watched Jeremy grow uneasy. When I asked Four several questions I already knew the answer to, Jeremy fidgeted with his pen. When I very obviously pretended I couldn't quite assign the new routes with new members without Four's help, Jeremy grew irritable.

When I reassigned Jeremy to work with Peter, he started sweating.

When I told him we needed to reevaluate his position here, especially now, at the height of such security breaches, he knocked over his coffee.

It was enough to begin to crack the thin ice he'd been standing on.

I knew full well he hadn't completed shit since Everly had returned from Amity. I brought this up in front of the others, and even Harrison – suddenly wearing his jacket like he planned on heading out the minute this meeting was over, agreed that he should take some time off. We needed him elsewhere, and he couldn't argue with this.

He couldn't argue with any of it without giving away what he'd been doing, but that was fine. I wanted to catch him red-handed, and I would.

Max dismisses the meeting after Harrison grows bored of explaining what we'd found. The factionless compound was destroyed, and there was no way anyone left behind would have survived. Our best bet was to make sure each faction knew Evelyn was a wanted suspect, and if they saw her, to report it immediately.

When it's over, I leave with Rylan, not completely annoyed over how the meeting had gone, but still pissed off that I'd left Everly in bed to come here. He and I wait for the elevator together, and he uses his time to insist we should still shoot Jeremy.

"Just think of how much better you'll feel if you do." He pleads, and he stabs the button a good dozen times. "All that pent up aggression. All that rage over him, printing out a photo of your wife. It could be gone in a second."

"I'll shoot him, don't worry. Or you can shoot him. I don't care. But not yet. He's a link to Evelyn. Reassigning him gives us the chance to see where he'll go. Who he'll contact. I think he's our best chance of finding her."

"Sounds boring, but okay." Rylan agrees, and we step into the elevator car together. "If you want to hold off, then fine. I'm still gonna follow him. And hey, so uh, I see you and Everly are good."

I look over at him curiously, and he's grinning widely.

"Don't look so shocked. I had to watch you two make out for seventy minutes while the world burned down behind you. It was entertaining for a minute. The best part was that Four looked awfully depressed behind you."

I let out a bark of laughter, and I'd completely forgotten he'd watched from the control room.

"She's good. Her memory is back." I smirk at him, and his eyes widen.

"You asshole! You could have told me. No wonder you looked so happy. No one is that enthused for murder, not even you." His protest echoes, and I'm still laughing. He squints his eyes. "I knew you weren't sleeping."

"I was most definitely not sleeping." I realize neither of us have pushed a button for our floor, so I push it, then look at him. "I didn't find out until a few hours ago. Otherwise, I would have told you."

"That is NOT what I wanted to hear about." He shoves me and pushes every single button on the control panel. "Spill the details. You've been moping around for weeks. You can't tell me that it was fine and blah blah blah. I want to know how this all went down."

"It was fine." I snicker, and his face darkens. "She'll have to go see Arlene, though. She declined her birth control and I'm fairly certain it's worn off by now."

The look on his face is priceless.

"Wait…what?"

Too bad for him, we weren't too far from our own floor. The doors open on the next stop, and I step out ahead of him.

"Eric Coulter get back in this elevator. I need to know what you're talking about."

He calls out, frozen in place, and I shake my head.

"I gotta go. She's up waiting for me." I lie, and I keep walking. I can hear him yelling my name, and he forgets he lives on the same floor. The elevator doors close, and he misses his chance to get off.

I head home, feeling marginally more cheerful, until my phone rings.

I glare at the name on it, and I realize that pretending to align myself with Four, even if it meant taking down Jeremy and finding Evelyn, might have been a mistake.

He calls two more times, until I answer, and I very crankily agree to meet him for lunch.

 

 

It feels like it's five a.m. when I finally head into our bedroom. I ditched my shirt and pants while I walked, and my eyes officially burn from being awake for so long. I brush my teeth, turn my phone on silent, and climb into bed with as little effort as possible. Everly is asleep, until I waste no time pushing myself right up against her. I throw my arm over her waist, kicking her legs out of my way until she's as close to me as she can be. Once I'm content with our position, something embarrassingly needy considering who I am as a person, I sigh against her hair.

She wakes up, and she wiggles back into me.

"Did you and Four have fun?" Her voice is low and sleepy.

I snort.

"Tons."

Her fingers find mine, sliding between them as tight as they'll go. "Did he go back to Tris's?"

I do my best not to say something purposely mean. I'd paid no attention to where Four went. He could have slept in the office for all I cared.

"I try not to think about what Four does at night," I answer, and Everly stays silent.

"Eric?"

"Hm?" I've closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling of her safe in my bed, until she squirms away from me. It's the exact opposite of what I want, but she's still trapped against me. I make no effort to move, not even when she kicks my legs. "What are you doing?"

"I want to look at you." She sounds suspiciously sweet, so I'm reluctant to move. But I do. I pull my arm away from her, and she immediately turns over. She moves right back against me, sliding her leg through mine and reaching for my neck. Her touch is soft, somewhat possessive as her fingers move up to my jaw, tracing along the edge of it. She's quiet, unrushed in her perusal of whatever it is she's doing.

"Would you have stayed mad at me forever?" She finally asks, and her fingers don't stop.

"Maybe," I respond without thinking, though I might have. I'd have been absolutely livid if something had happened to her, especially after telling her to stay home.

I look at her, so pretty and kind and all sorts of lovely, and the next thing I know, she's kissing me. Her lips touch mine, insistent and pleading, and I don't hesitate to kiss her back. In fact, I give in to her, whatever she wants. I push myself over her, my legs between hers and her tiny frame covered by mine, and it's not long at all before I sink back inside her, and there is no hesitation when I tell her I love her, again and again.


	36. Fathers and Zombies

Over breakfast, Everly does her best to play detective.

She spends the first twenty minutes of being awake asking me questions about Max and Four, and the next twenty minutes trying to find out where Jeremy is.

She noticed he wasn't in the apartment with the rest of the Leaders, and I do my best to dismiss her curiosity. Wondering about him will do her no good. Knowing he printed out a photo of her to hand over to Evelyn was enough to make me want to murder him, but I had to bide my time. That was a frustration I could barely handle but killing him in cold blood without proof that he was guilty wouldn't fare well for me.

But I understand her wanting to know. I wouldn't say they were friendly; in fact, she'd yelled at him to leave her alone a few times. But she'd worked with him for some time, and his absence would be noticeable to her.

I listen to her make several terrible guesses about where he went while I make her breakfast, pour her coffee, and sit at the table with her. When she starts eating, she seems placated for the moment, until she blinks at me from beneath her eyelashes. "Why didn't Jeremy come to your apartment?"

"Who cares?" I announce, violently slicing the pancakes I'd made. "If I had to hear one more time about how terrible Tris was at every aspect of their relationship, I'd kill him myself."

My answer is not what she expects. She frowns, and her head tilts in defense of her horrible friend.

"She wasn't terrible!" She insists, for some reason still trying to convince me. "That's mean of him. He should be quiet."

I smirk at her, thinking of the last time I saw him with her. How he'd watched her, staring at her wedding ring with great interest. How he'd wound up shadowing her more than anyone, including the leaders he was supposed to be working with. I lose the ability to control my disdain for him, when I inform her how he was obsessed with her.

"What?" She nearly drops the butter knife in her hand, and I smirk again.

"You heard me. He was fascinated by everything you did. He didn't believe you were really married to me." I think of the look on his face when Max agreed that he needed to refocus on what he was doing. How he had to hide his anger and pretend to appreciate being sent to work with Peter. How he'd stared at me, trying to figure out what Everly saw in me. "Sucks to be him."

"But where is he?" She looks at me pointedly, and I know she's not going to let this go.

"He's taking a break from his leadership training. Refocusing." I smile at her, watching her reach out and take a long sip of her coffee. "He's working closely with Peter for the next month."

"Well that sounds…shitty." Everly shrugs, and she sets her coffee mug down. "Did the rest of your meeting go well?"

"As expected." I eye her while she eats, and she seems to enjoy what I've made. I can't even begin to describe how happy I am that her memory is back, and eating with her feels absolutely normal. "Four will be joining the team from here on out. I'm meeting him for lunch to discuss what's next."

"Is he…good with that?"

"I don't really care." I respond, and she smiles knowingly at me. "He promised he would help. He'll fulfill that promise or suffer the consequences."

"What consequences?" Everly asks, rightfully concerned. "You know, I think he was really mad at Tris. He didn't seem happy to see us when we got there." She sounds guilty now, but lucky for her, she's pretty.

"He should be furious with her." I point out, and I recline back in my chair, watching her intently. "You two could have been seriously hurt. I'm not sure how you even came up with that plan."

Everly looks up at me, and her fingers close around her coffee mug again. She holds it in both hands, and her wedding ring sparkles at me. She shakes her head, her hair falling to reveal the pale skin of her neck, the exact spot where my mouth had been mere hours ago, and she smiles brightly.

"Me either."

 

 

She goes to visit Arlene while I go to meet Four.

The look on her face tells me that heading down to the infirmary is the last place she'd like to go, but it's necessary. Not only does she need a check up now that her memory has returned, she needs to figure out just what exactly she plans to do with her birth control.

I'd left it solely up to her.

She hadn't mentioned anything past acknowledging she knew she'd declined it. But she sat on the bed while I got dressed, and I reminded her that she had to figure out something. She'd looked at me with a funny expression, and I knew right then and there she remembered that we'd talked about what would happen while she wasn't on it.

Sort of.

Truth be told, I wasn't dying for her to be pregnant.

I could barely keep tabs on her as it was, and if she wound up pregnant, she'd only be a higher risk target. If that news reached a somehow still alive Evelyn, or someone wanting revenge for what was going to happen to Evelyn, it wouldn't be safe for Everly to so much as look outside. I'd have to make sure she stayed out of harm's way, without letting her know that she'd reached threat level midnight.

Unfortunately, there was an oddly ever-increasing part of me that secretly hoped it would happen. I couldn't place where or why it was occurring. I had never had any desire to be anyone's father. My own was nonexistent, and even his presence now was disastrous. The idea of me, with a child, was ridiculous. Absolutely absurd to think that I'd even want to raise one.

But the idea of having a family with Everly, something uniquely our own, was rather attractive. I liked the idea of her and I forever, and having a child with her would only further that. It seemed complete; like a goal that had I not been Eric Coulter, Leader of Dauntless, I'd have easily crossed off by now. It seemed normal, but also something that no one else had. I would have Everly, our baby, and I could gloat in the faces of those who thought it would never last.

"Does she know I'm coming?" Everly looks sulky now, her shirt falling off her shoulder and her legs pulled beneath her. "Can I have an express visit? Will you tell her I only have five minutes?"

"No." I cheerfully answer her, combing my hair once more so it'll look better than Four's. "I'm sure she'll behave. She was worried about you. And just tell her you don't want to be there all day. The more up front with her you are, the easier it'll be."

"I doubt that." Everly mumbles, and I manage to feel a speck of sympathy for her. "Can't you just…call it in?"

I walk over to her, towering over her even while she sits on the bed. I don't love the way my chest feels tight suddenly, nor do I love the way I can't figure out why. "No. You need to follow up from the last time you saw her. Besides, she's missed you. Four's been behaving so she hasn't had anyone to stalk lately."

Everly scowls, even when I bend down to kiss her quickly.

I don't blame her.

Arlene's been waiting for this moment for years, and there's not a chance in hell she'll let it pass her by.

 

 

While Everly is off being evaluated by Satan herself, I spend time in my own personal hell.

Eating lunch with Four.

He and I sit across from each other, silently chewing our food as if we'd just happened to sit down at the same table and there was nowhere else to sit. I'd managed to select the least disgusting looking thing I could find. Normally, I'd head into the kitchen and have Quinten make me something, but I didn't have time for that today, nor did I want Four following me in there. So, I was forced to eat something that I was assuming was a turkey sandwich, all while pretending this was exactly what I wanted in life.

"So, Jeremy…you reassigned him?"

Four looks over at me, and I look back at him.

I take an extra long time to swallow, and I set my sandwich down.

"Yes."

He frowns.

He waits for me to elaborate, and he frowns even further when I don't. "Are you going to tell me what happened? It seemed like he wasn't expecting that."

"No."

"Okay, so what would you like to talk about? I thought we were discussing our plans for next week. So far you're just sitting there…glaring at me. What is the point of this?" Four crosses his arms over his chest and I sigh in exaggerated exasperation.

"Oh I'm sorry, I'd hate for you to be uncomfortable." I hiss. "But newsflash, Four. I don't know where your mother went. I can't plan anything until I find her. Maybe you could tell me where she is."

"How would I know where she went? You think she's sending me smoke signals?" Four retorts, and he uncrosses his arms to reach for his lunch. "My guess is she's going to try to blackmail Marcus into helping her. But you told Everly you weren't investigating him as a suspect."

"Not yet." I'm surprised he heard that, but I pretend I'm not. "I can barely get a patrol squad through there. You think he's gonna let any of us waltz right on in after we refused to help him?"

Four falls silent, and he mulls over what I've said. "There's another way in, you know."

"Do tell." I wait patiently, and Four doesn't look very happy. "Don't you dare suggest something stupid, either."

"Andrew Prior." He finally, very reluctantly and slowly says the name. "He'll meet with you. He's not…entirely on board with Marcus. If you contact him and explain what's going on, he might be able to keep an eye out for you. Or I could…call him."

I stare at him without blinking. The idea of involving another fucking person wasn't ideal, but just like I'd made an ally with Jack, maybe I could do the same with Andrew. It was laughable, thinking someone from Abnegation would want to help me, but this might work out with Andrew. If he could understand what we were asking.

I sit there in silence, until I nod my head. "Fine. You do that. Keep me posted on how it goes."

"Alright. I'll call him, but then you promise you'll drop your threat to have someone marry Tris." He bargains. I smirk at his concern, because really, other than him, no one wants to marry Tris.

"Fine." I agree. I never truly had any intention of forcing anyone I personally tolerated to marry her, but I prefer him to think otherwise. "You have a deal."

We don't shake hands, nor do we smile. He might not even have believed I'd ever follow through with that threat. But we do continue eating lunch together, and we even manage to sit without shoving or pushing each other. Without speaking.

"Well, well, well. What the fuck is this?"

Our silence is fine, until Rylan shows up. He immediately helps himself to the seat next to me, and he slams down a stack of papers on the table.

"You and Four, eating lunch together. How…nice and oddly civil." He smiles, and I have the urge to kick him as hard as possible.

"What is that?" I ask, ignoring his smirky expression and his knowledge that this was the last thing I'd ever like to be doing. "You're working?"

"Well, someone has to. Since you and Four have well exceeded the normal amount of time for lunch breaks." He grins again, and I roll my eyes. "I actually need both of you to sign these. Max sent me to find you."

"He's looking for us? What does he need our signatures on?" Four has a funny look on his face, and he's rightfully hesitant. Anything that required the both of us to sign for it wasn't good.

"Paperwork, explaining why Everly and Tris were with the patrol squads. Peter pitched an absolute fit over what happened. He claimed his patrol needed the specific truck they took, and he also claims they're both a liability and a hazard to the faction if they were there without orders to be there. He marched his ass into Max's office to have a meltdown over it this morning. He had the same concerns with Karl. He's pushing for them all to be disciplined."

"Are you fucking serious?" I stare at him, ready to find Peter and snap his neck right off his head. "Does he want to live to see this evening?"

"Calm down, killer. He's just trying to make a name for himself. While I sat there listening to him whine, I fudged all this paperwork. I just need you two to sign it. I added Everly and Tris to one of Harrison's squads and gave them a job to do while they were there. Max knows, and he doesn't care. He'll go along with this. So long as we have your signature on these papers, Peter can shut it. It's proof they should have been there. Karl…is on his own. He works with Peter and Peter knows he wasn't supposed to be out there."

I stare at him, without blinking, and Four sighs in annoyance.

"Why am I signing this?"

"Eric is signing for Everly. Even though she's his wife, she's still in his program. So he can easily claim that she should have gone along. Uh, you're signing because we couldn't think of a reason why Tris would be there. So we just said you brought her along because of your…affection for her and not so brilliant thinking in a moment of defiance and star crossed romance and mental breakdown under the stress of hunting down your own mother."

Four slowly takes the papers, and he flips through them with a very dark look on his face.

"You spelled Tris's name wrong." He looks up with an unimpressed grimace, but he takes the pen from Rylan. "But I'll sign it so she doesn't get in trouble."

"It's close enough. Trust me, no one will notice." Rylan throws out, and he smiles widely at me.

We both watch as Four scribbles his signature or just writes the number four on the page, then shoves the papers over to me. I reach for them with great reluctance, not entirely enthused to sign off that I'd okayed Everly to come along, even if this was to cover her own ass. I skim through what Rylan has written, and I have to say it looks fairly legit.

After a few moments, I neatly sign my name at the bottom of the paper and I decide Peter does not have long to live.

"Here."

"You two must have been very thrilled that they showed up. What lovely support you both have in your relationships." Rylan sounds somehow even more smug, and when I drag my stare up from the page, he is. Four makes an odd sound, like he's dying or perhaps struggling not to say something considering he's not exactly won Tris back over.

"I see you're in rare form today." I point out, and Rylan laughs.

"Come on. I'm helping both of you out. Besides, it's sort of ironic that out of everyone in the faction, those two girls came to save the both of you. Almost like a double date with a side of explosions and murder and a factionless family that now lives here."

Four and I both look over at each other at the same time. I still hate him. I hate everything about him. The way his shirt is ill fitting. The way his hair is styled to look like he doesn't care. The way I'm stuck being associated with him just a little bit more, because Everly and Tris are friends.

The way it seems like I'll never be rid of him.

"I was in complete disbelief that they were there. I know they're both trained and they're both capable and willing to help out. But it was stupid and they only came because…" He pauses, and I find myself nodding slightly.

"Yeah." I cut him off, not needing him to finish. I understand what he's feeling, and that makes me want to throw up all over this table. "I'll find Max myself and speak to him. Karl should have disciplinary action anyway, I agree with that. I'm not sure why he'd ever agree to their plan."

"I'm sure you'll get your answer if you ask him." Rylan raises both eyebrows at me. "I'm sure they had something on him to make him agree. Your wife is like three feet tall. How could he be scared of her?"

Four laughs, and I tilt my head at him and force myself to stay still. It would be easy to lunge for his throat, and I already know what his head sounds like when it hits the ground.

"Tris isn't much taller, though. Maybe they combined their powers somehow." Rylan continues, and I throw a wadded up napkin at him. "Well you two certainly are no fun. Are you staying here, or are you going somewhere else after lunch? Maybe to work out. As a team. While Tris and Everly watch." He raises his eyebrows at me, again, and there is no hiding the utter delight on his face.

"Yeah," I answer, completely serious. "We are. We're spending the whole day together. I thought maybe he'd quit the control room and come take over the office next to mine. Move in next door, too. We could walk to work together. How's that sound?"

Rylan makes a face and grabs his papers. "Like you've made a new best friend. I'm wounded, truly. But I know the two of you will enjoy a long and happy life as former enemies." He then stands up and pretends to tip an invisible hat at us. "I'm taking these back to Max. Enjoy your lunch, gentlemen. I'll see you around."

We both watch him silently. He leaves grinning ear to ear, looking like he finds himself absolutely hilarious. Four eyes me warily, and I eye him back, shrugging my shoulders. I could explain that he should be thanking Rylan up and down for even bothering to include Tris in the paperwork. He could have easily left her to defend herself. I also could explain that Rylan was being nice for no good reason, which meant he was up to something. Then I decide I owe him nothing, and I return to my sandwich. We resume eating, finally finishing up the vile slob Quinten has made, and we leave at the same time.

"I guess…tell him thanks for covering for Tris. Or I'll tell him when I see him." Four rubs at the back of his neck, looking like he's not quite sure what to think. "I wasn't expecting anyone to bring that to Max."

"Me either." I answer and I pull out my phone. I text Jason while we walk, and I tell him to find out what Peter's doing. I make sure he knows I want a full report with anything I can use against him, and he agrees without question.

"I'll see you…around. Whenever you have your next plans solidified." Four keeps talking, his words tight and cranky and I can only imagine he's realized that this isn't going to go away overnight. Not just the consequences of what happened back at the factionless compound. Not just that since Tris and Everly are friends, we'll be forced to cross paths. Or that as long as his mother is out there, he'll be forced to help me.

But the realization that so long as he lives, he will be forced to acknowledge my involvement in his life. I do have the upper hand, though. My friends will use every moment they can to remind him of this, if it's the last thing they do.

I wave him off, and I saunter home, still considering myself the winner of our meeting.

 

 

I consider myself the loser of Everly's meeting, when her cheeks darken and she tells me Arlene has refused to start her birth control for another four weeks, and she's suggested we use condoms while having sex to avoid any unwanted pregnancies.

"I'm not into that," I answer flatly, never having less of an urge to put anything between Everly and myself. It wasn't like we had a condom factory pumping out the condoms either; they were an outdated form of birth control for those who preferred not to get the shot and they were pricy. Too pricy for me to consider buying them for as often as we wound up in bed together.

Everly doesn't look happy either.

In fact, she looks downright irritable.

"Just like you aren't into marriage proposals," She retorts, and her crankiness is cute. This is the girl who'd flat out told me she didn't want her birth control shot, told me it was fine if I kept going while my dick was buried so far inside her I couldn't see straight. The girl who'd celebrated being alive while fully aware we weren't being careful at all, and the one who had said she was fine with the outcome either way. "She said I have to wait four weeks. If…then…" she fumbles to say something, but her answer is insulting.

I let out a huff of irritation, but then I remember who I'm dealing with. The Everly who had lunged for me, kissing me because I came out of my bedroom half dressed.

"A few days ago you had zero concerns about the outcome of us sleeping together. In fact, you told me not to stop." I remind Everly loudly. Louder than necessary. I shift my weight and she presses her lips together. "I refuse to use a condom while I'm having sex with my wife."

Everly looks to the side of me and crosses her arms over her chest. Her expression is unimpressed, and a bit put out as she racks her brain to think of something.

"And we all know you have zero self-control, so don't even think about pretending you could hold out for four weeks." I grin at her, and the defeat is all over her face. If she doesn't want to have a baby, that's fine. But then that means I'm not touching her until the four weeks are up.

"Guess you should have accepted the injection when you had the chance," I declare unnecessarily, walking past her to my bedroom. I brush her shoulder, and she scowls, knowing I'm right.

I smirk when I hear her throw something at the bedroom door, and I know there's no way Amity is holding out for the next month.

 

 

The message is broadcast every thirty minutes.

Every half hour, Evelyn's face is flashed in front of every faction. On buildings, in meeting halls. I imagine Evelyn's dark hair creeping along the pristine walls of Jack's meeting room. Filling up the free space in Johanna's office. Seeping into the drab concrete of Abnegation. Her name is followed by a stark warning that she is a wanted criminal, and multiple actions to take if she's seen.

My face follows hers.

In some ways, it looks just as sharp. I'm unsmiling as I remind them of their duty to their factions, and I'm even more unsmiling when I stand beside Everly, watching the projection.

She seems to shrink against me, and her fingers fumble to find mine. It's dark where we stand, and in front of us, there is a low murmur amongst the members of Dauntless. I glance down at Everly to see her frowning, her eyes defeated as she stares at the woman who arranged her kidnapping.

An hour ago, I'd learned that while held captive, Everly had spoken to her at length.

Perhaps it was watching us prepare the broadcast that jolted the memory, but Everly suddenly looked paler than normal, and she'd told me she was going to get a drink. I followed her out, having immediately picked up on her change in attitude and her shaky posture. When I found her in the hallway, looking up at me with a miserable expression on her face, I knew something was wrong. My hands found her, touching her arms and pulling her close, and it was then the words tumbled out of her mouth. How Evelyn had tried to get Everly to see her side of the story, her words about Four, her smugness when I declined to help her. Her views and hopes for this new system, how she would be the one to make things right.

How she'd stabbed Everly in the neck to make her forget all this.

She calmed down after she was done speaking. We stood there, staring at each other while I thought of something to say. Something to erase her time with the factionless, to give her a clean slate. But I had nothing. She'd stayed there, sleeping amongst them, thinking I'd abandoned her. I finally brought myself to say her name right as Jason appeared with some drink that claimed to taste like a mixture of lemons and limes. He shoved it at her and told her she'd feel better if she had something sugary to drink. She accepted it gratefully, and her hands unwound themselves from my arms slowly.

We'd returned to the meeting, but she was quiet, never saying much.

Even now, there is still a faint unease to her.

I can feel it rising up as she presses herself closer to me, carefully hidden in the dark shadow of the alcove as she does her best not to be afraid. Her fear, whether she's aware of it or not, is very valid. There's no need to downplay what she feels, what I can only assume is a sea saw of her emotions, because she knows better than anyone.

She knows that somewhere, out in the factions, Evelyn is there.

Watching.

Waiting.

Ready to take what she believes is hers at any cost.

We watch the broadcast together until it ends. For a split second, Dauntless falls dark, and Everly's fingers slip through mine and tighten.

 

 

To my displeasure, Arlene finds me in the hallway.

I'd left Everly with Christina, happy that it wasn't Tris. Even though Christina could never shut up, she'd also never taken Everly out on a mission that could have cost her her life, and that was more than enough to convince me she was the superior friend. I'd left them laughing over something, Everly looking far better than before, and when I told Everly I'd meet her in a bit, she'd barely blinked. The two of them took off in search of coffee, and I took off to head into my office.

My plans came to a halt when I discovered Arlene, waiting for me with her arms crossed over her chest. I pretended not to see her; I reached for my phone and immediately began messaging Rylan, but she was dead set on talking to me. She stopped in the middle of the hallway and stood there until I nearly crashed into her.

"Move."

I bark, but she shakes her head.

"Did you talk with Everly?" She asks, missing out on the social cue that I was ignoring her. It wasn't that she'd done anything in particular to piss me off, it was just that I knew why she wanted to talk. That for some reason, the highlight of her life hinged on whatever Everly and I were doing, and I was in no mood for that right now.

Or ever.

"We did." I answer quickly, and I flash her a bored smile. "Don't look so disappointed. Maybe Jason will knock up Meghan and you can steal that child."

She rolls her eyes.

"Your wife could already be pregnant." Arlene informs me as if this was news to me, and I shrug.

"I'm aware of how it works." I type a little faster, but the words are simply predictive text so I'll look busy. "If she's not pregnant, then give her the birth control and don't be an ass. I don't need her feeling trapped into something she's not wanting."

"Does she not want a baby?" Arlene steps closer, eyeing me sharply. "Because it seems like you do. Otherwise, you'd be forcing the birth control down her throat no matter what. Never in my life would I think that Eric Coulter would want a child. Especially now."

"I had dinner with Daniel and Blythe." I announce, and my words throw her off completely, just like I knew they would. For a moment, she stares at me like she doesn't believe me, and I smile. Widely. "It didn't go well. Blythe hated Everly and Daniel sat there and let her rip her apart."

"Why?" Arlene asks, and she looks a little less demonic. Her protectiveness over Everly strangely mirrors my own, and her fingers twitch. Probably to call Daniel and ask him if this was what really happened. "Why was Blythe mean to her? You're obviously very happy with Everly. You took a big risk by bringing her to Erudite for dinner. Wife or no wife."

I shrug. "Blythe wouldn't be happy no matter who I brought with me. She blames me for Jeanine's death, and she thinks Everly was the cause of that."

"Well, she was. In a way." Arlene points out, and she shakes her head. "Your father, has he called you? I'm sure he'll try to make amends. You haven't seen him in-"

"I'm done with him." I smile tightly. "He had his chance to make things…end differently and he didn't. Besides, he's not here. He's in Erudite. Were he anyone else, I'd have no contact with him. Faction before blood, Arlene. Or did you forget that little motto?"

"No, but Eric…" Arlene protests, and she looks like she's trying to think of something to keep me talking. "He told me about Everly. He told me he'd looked her up. Her family. Who she was here. He was excited to meet her. He said he wanted to get to know her."

"Oh, he got to know her. Why don't you ask him the things he let Blythe ask her?" I shove past Arlene, done with this conversation because it's irritating me all over again. "Ask him how her face looked when Blythe implied I was only keeping Everly around to sleep with her."

"Is this why-"

Arlene says something, but my phone rings loudly, echoing in the hallway. I answer it immediately, and Rylan asks me what the fuck did I just send him.

"I'll see you in five." I respond, and his confusion is comical.

"Are you drunk?" He asks, his voice tiny in my ear, and I hang up the phone.

"Eric, I'm sorry." Arlene calls out, but I shrug her off again.

I don't need her feeling bad for me. I don't need her pitying me, because of Daniel and Blythe. I had a life here that I wasn't going to mess up, and nothing could change that.

Certainly not Arlene.

Certainly not Blythe.

And most certainly not Daniel.

 

 

Hours later, Everly brushes her hair while I get ready for bed.

I wander out while brushing my teeth, having spent the better part of the afternoon explaining to a horrified Rylan just exactly what happened at the dinner. He'd been rightfully furious, slamming his fist down and offering to call Daniel himself. I could see the bond he shared with him shatter just a bit, cracking at the shitty treatment of Everly. I should have been relieved to have him on my side, but it just left me angry.

Once he'd calmed down, I'd convinced him to let it go, and we worked until it was time to leave. I headed home later than I'd planned, and after a quick dinner, I was more than ready for bed.

So was Everly.

She smiles up at me, her eyes falling to my bare chest. Her nightgown is once again light and pretty, too silky for anyone in Dauntless to sleep in, and too short for someone who'd been sulking since her request for birth control was put on hold. I smirk at her, and she pretends she's as innocent as ever, especially when she climbs off the bed.

It rises up. The stupid thing is short enough that it barely touches her thighs, and she seems unaware of this as she slowly unmakes my bed.

"Are you almost finished? Are you coming to bed after?" She asks me, looking over her shoulder. She pushes the pillows back, and I'm rewarded with more and more of her skin, every time she moves.

"Yeah." I answer her through a mouthful of minty toothpaste, and she smiles brightly.

"Good."

I watch her with narrowed eyes; she climbs into bed to wait for me, and the strap slips down her arm. I notice this one is flimsier than the rest, that it ties together, and all it would take was one of my fingers slid beneath it to knock it apart.

When she was gone, I'd nearly lost my mind when I found her nightgowns on my bed. When Carol had left them out, knowing enough about me to know that Everly lived here, and knowing even more than enough to realize that's what she slept in. I'd touched the fabric and it had made my insides feel like they were being ripped out, all because she was gone.

I'm fairly certain it is the one she has on now.

I stare at her, trying to see what Daniel would have seen. What Blythe saw. What Arlene saw.

Did they see her as too young, too naive to be married, and too clueless to be entangled in such dangerous events? Did they think she was in this for something else? To better her social status or perhaps gain the freedom she'd always wanted?

I only see her as Everly.

As the Everly who I married without telling. The one waiting for me, smiling sweetly and not so sweetly as she settles against my pillow.

As my wife.

I return to the bathroom to spit out my toothpaste and rinse my mouth. I place my toothbrush next to Everly's and I pause there, taking in a deep breath.

I'd come to terms that I was fine with Everly resuming her birth control, but I couldn't come to terms with the fact that for the first time in my life, I felt something bizarre. Almost indescribable. Something out of the ordinary, something so unlike myself that it made me stare at my reflection like I was someone else.

Hopeful.

Hopeful that I found Evelyn in the next few weeks, hopeful that Blythe fell down the stairs in her large, empty house and her skull cracked in half, and even more hopeful that Everly did not have to return to see Arlene in four weeks.

 

 

When I'm not looking, everything returns to normal.

Normalcy around Dauntless could be considered a state of mind. The fights in the pit resume, new headliners popping up every day, and people seem to forget that outside our gates lurked a woman who wanted us all to bow down to her rule. My phone rings constantly, and I decline nearly every single call. Everly forgets about the condoms and birth control and groans my name into my neck night after night. Jason and Rylan resume their normal jobs, easing up on watching Four, increasing their watching Jeremy, and screwing off the remainder of the time. Max takes a vacation. Harrison seems to have a newfound interest in helping factionless children. I'd bumped into him more than once, walking with one of the children on his shoulders. I couldn't bring myself to wonder if the child's mother knew where he was taking him, but the two of them returned, hours later, covered in feathers.

He looked happy.

Insane, but happy.

Almost as happy as Everly. I reactivated her keycards, giving her an unlimited amount of limited freedom. She could ascend or descend to any level she pleased, but not enough that I wouldn't be alerted if she had the brilliant idea to leave the compound. She visibly relaxed at this news; she returned to work, her hair was still in her eyes, and her leggings were still not pants.

Then came a day, one when I sat in my office eating the donut she'd brought me, when she announced she was returning to help Four.

The donut stuck in my throat, the sugary dough lodging itself deep in my wind-pipe, but I couldn't tell her no. I wanted to. I wanted badly to remind her that he had let her get kidnapped, that he was the literal worst, and she'd be walking right back into the room she'd been taken from.

But I couldn't.

Four and I had been working together to figure out where his mother went. I sat by him in more meetings than I ever cared to. I accidentally drank his coffee, which I immediately spit out and handed back to him. I ate lunch with him, growing equally frustrated while we waited for Andrew Prior to get back to us. I watched security feeds with him, I worked around his training schedule, and I even managed to go an entire day without insulting him.

That part was only temporary.

But still, things were back on track. Everly was currently blinking up at me, and I knew the donut was a sweet little trick to get me to agree. She obviously remembered I didn't want her down there, but I'd support whatever she did within reason. The donut was meant to get me on board, as was her big smile. The way she slunk over to me, slipping onto my lap and looping her arms around my neck. She knew she didn't need my permission to return to her own job, but if I seemed okay with it, it would make it even better.

Lucky for her, I managed to choke down the donut, and when her forehead touched mine, I agreed.

I wasn't thrilled, not by a long shot. Not even the hyper security of Dauntless was reassuring to me. There was also the fact that Four took his class out of the compound, and I didn't trust him or Lauren to truly keep an eye on her.

But I had to ease up.

I wasn't about to risk watching her face fall because I wanted her to sit in my office all day. The way her face lit up was worth the sudden sharp, pain in my stomach and the nausea that followed. She left right after, forgetting her donut and skipping down to tell Four that she'd be working with him again. I watched my door shut in slow motion, and in even slower motion I called Rylan. He immediately headed into my office, and he threw his hands up in the air.

"Please pick a person you want me to stalk. I can't follow two people at the same time."

I grouchily agreed to have Jason follow Four again, and Rylan could stay focused on Jeremy. He was pacified, but not completely.

"You really trust him? What if he loses her? They have to go outside at some point. The fence. There's that whole trip. What if one of these initiates is a spy? What if they try something, thinking she won't expect to be kidnapped twice? What will you do then?" He stares at me, verbalizing every thought I'd already had.

"I don't know." I answer, offering him the other half of the donut as a peace offering. He takes it, but he doesn't look any happier. "She wants to go back to work. I don't have anything else I can have her do. If I assign her something here, it's likely she'll wind up on someone's project involving Evelyn."

"True." Rylan relents, and he eats the donut in one bite. "I guess the class probably aren't spies. If they were, they would have tried something by now."

I nod, but I lean my head to the side, until my spine adjusts itself. "I'll give it a day or so and drop by. I'll remind them that if they so much as look at her wrong, they're dead."

"Good plan." Rylan answers, and he props his feet up on my desk. "Speaking of plans, any more plans to see your Dad? He called me but I didn't answer it out of respect for you."

"I have no plans to speak to him. Ever again." I roll my eyes, watching Harrison burst through the door with alarming force.

"Have either of you seen a small child?" He stares at us, looking mildly inconvenienced. "No worry if you haven't, I'm just wondering."

"No." I shake my head, and Rylan looks up at him from his seat.

"You lost…one of the children you brought here? In this giant faction? With an underground river? That mom is going to kill you."

"No, I didn't lose him. I was showing him how the copier worked, and when I turned around he was gone." Harrison squints at us. "Where's Esperanza? I thought I saw her earlier. Is she helping us next time? Has she become consumed by the taste for blood?"

"The taste for blood? Our resident Amity transfer is now a blood thirsty machine. Harrison, the fuck are you on?" Rylan laughs, unable to help himself. I shake my head at the both of them.

"Everly," I emphasize her name. "is fine. She's returning to work with Four. She is not returning to help us find Evelyn. And while her aim was impressive, she won't be shooting anyone, anytime soon."

"Well that's a shame." Harrison muses, then shrugs. "Alright. If you see the kid, let me know. I'll be around."

"Will do." Rylan answers him, snickering when he leaves. "Hey, what faction is he from? I feel like there's no explanation for who or why he is the way he is."

"Beats me. He's just always been here." I look up at him, and I sigh. "Do you want to go get a drink? We could head down to Clyde's? I'm done working for today."

"Me too." Rylan agrees immediately, forgetting his rage over everything, and the two of us head out of the office.

Things do feel normal.

Lucy glares at us the entire time, and she storms off when Jason shows up in a whirlwind and knocks over Rylan's drink on her boots.

 

I head home to make Everly dinner.

I pause at my door, stopping to decline Daniel's twelfth call of the day.

I then shove my phone into my pocket, and I don't look at it again for the rest of the night.

 

 

In the morning, Everly is all smiles.

I help her get ready, mostly by standing there scowling, until she stops in front of me. I fix her hair, pushing it off her neck and behind her ear, and I remind her that even though he's helping us, he's still Four. That he aided in her kidnapping, that his mother is out to get her, and not to forget that.

She reassures me she won't.

She kisses me goodbye, reluctant to let go of me, and I'm just as reluctant to watch her walk away. Due to the disruption of Colton and the factionless, the class is far behind schedule. They should be much further ahead, but the absence of Everly had been noticeable, and the classes had come to a grinding halt out of respect for her death. There were also a few weeks where it wasn't so certain Four would return to teach his class. His loyalty to the Dauntless faction was questioned, and only by the grace of Max and my complete and utter mental breakdown, was it decided he'd return.

"Good luck today, Amity."

I'd sent her off with the worst goodbye ever, fully aware I wasn't looking happy at all. Not even the thought of storming down there and interrupting the class was cheering me up.

"Thank you. I'll see you in a little bit. Have a good day at work, Eric."

She'd kissed me goodbye quickly, then left before I could change my mind. She was the only person who'd ever kissed me goodbye, and I think of this while I watch my door shut. She was the only person who'd ever cared if I was home or not, and it felt uncomfortable to think that a year ago, she didn't exist here.

I stare at the door for a long time after she leaves, thinking how Four better keep his fucking word.

 

 

I spend the morning in my office.

I get a lot done; I sit and finalize the top three candidates for Erudite's new leader. I call Jack to let him know where we're at in the process, and he's absolutely delighted to have such information. He gives me his opinion on each one, and the entire time I can feel his impatience to get off the phone and research them further.

For once, he hangs up quickly.

I then make the snap decision to email Cara myself. I let her know this email is to stay between the two of us, and I give her a few hints to let her know she'll be asked to interview for the position. I include my number to call if she has any questions, and I smile when I hit send, because I know she will.

This wasn't something I'd normally do, but I knew it was important.

I'd learned that having an ally in such situations wasn't all that bad. I had Jack, who despite having his own personal reasons for being involved in my business, had worked to my advantage. If I could get Andrew Prior on my side, I'd have an in with Abnegation, a faction I had no connection to whatsoever. If I could get Cara on my side, helping her win the position and giving her the support she needed, I'd be able to keep an eye on Erudite as well. That left Amity as the only remaining faction without a link, but I could always have Everly talk with Johanna. Or as a worst-case scenario, I could bring her along with me to smooth things over.

It wasn't that I personally wanted to oversee every faction myself, nor did I have a burning want to know what went on in their daily business. I had no desire to deal with the demands and needs of every single person out there. I simply wanted a way in. If I had a network of people I could trust, deepening the connections past the leaders, it would make my life easier. It would make everyone's lives easier.

Cara responds not longer after I send the email. She asks if she can call me in a few hours, and hints back that she'd love my help.

I smirk at her email. This leaves me ahead of the game, and I'm beyond pleased that she was so prompt.

Half hour later, my good mood vanishes when Karl is brought to my office.

I'd spent some time thinking about what he'd done, and unfortunately, there was no way around it. He'd shown up at the factionless compound against orders he'd been given. He'd brought Everly and Tris to an actively dangerous area, neglected to tell anyone what he was doing, and nearly gotten himself killed. To make it even more complicated, I now had a supervising officer asking how we would handle this. I couldn't deny or hide his involvement any more than I could Everly's.

I was most upset that he'd brought her along. I knew first hand she was persuasive, but she was hardly intimidating. He should have told her to go home, that I, Eric Coulter, did not need help on such a mission. That she was ill prepared for such tasks, and he couldn't help her.

I had no clue why he would have.

But I'm about to find out.

He's escorted in by Max and Harrison. After pausing before my desk, he sits, looking like he knows what's coming.

He's not stupid.

I eye him intently, scrutinizing every inch of him. In a lot of ways, he's become the soldier that we hoped all initiates turned into. He was huge, towering over the others and heavily muscled now. His hair resembled my own, shaved on the sides and parted neatly on top. His uniform was darker than the others, just enough to show he held a position higher than routine patrol soldiers, and I knew he'd been given several pay increases to go along with it.

I'd seen him around plenty of times. Staring at Everly, smiling at most people, and never wavering in his optimism. Despite being assigned a job where he'd kill if necessary, he seemed to be a generally nice person. Like someone you could have a beer with after a long day. Someone who fit in here easily. Someone who was considered cooler than the rest yet wasn't obnoxious about it. He missed the stares from the girls around him, their eyes glued to him as he marched around with his less cool friends. He missed the longing gazes when he worked out, and the fact that half those around him had simply come to gawk at his physical appearance.

He had everything going for him.

But now, he looks downright nauseous.

"Let me just say, I'm very sorry, Sir. I didn't…I knew you wouldn't be happy she was there. I didn't want to take her along."

He is apologetic, flanked by both Max and Harrison. They are silent, letting him deal with me on his own. I wasn't his immediate supervisor, but I had some very personal feelings about him going against orders that he understood, as well as coming from a leader's perspective. He was lucky it was only me disciplining him. I'd glanced at the schedule, and picked a time when Peter was working to have Karl come in. This left Peter unable to attend and unable to have an opinion on the punishment I saw fit.

To no one's surprise, Peter had pitched a fit, snarling into my ear that he should be there.

I'd ignored him.

This was between Karl and me, and I was about to make sure he understood his place here.

"Can you explain to me, what on Earth possessed you to drive them out there? Did you honestly think it was a good idea?"

I cock my eyebrow at him, and he shakes his head.

"No Sir."

"Do you realize I have people questioning why she was there? Why out of everyone in this faction that's hunting Evelyn, my wife showed up. When she was the entire reason why we were there? Or have you forgotten watching her being taken from Dauntless?"

"No!" He jerks his head up, and he looks miserable. "There is no way I would forget that. I just wasn't…I wasn't thinking. Just like then."

"I see." I look up at Harrison and Max, and both are staring at me. I can't fault him for being honest, but I can fault him for not being smart enough to see how this would play out. "Well, Karl. You've proven to be a very loyal soldier to us. You've done well in your current position. You're an excellent supervisor, your team seems to enjoy working for you, and your scores for their accuracy during their missions is overall very good."

Karl looks up, and his face brightens the slightest.

"However, I cannot excuse anyone taking Everly out of Dauntless against my permission. I don't care if she begged you to bring her to me. You had explicit orders to stay put, and you ignored them. This is unacceptable for any member of the faction."

I pause, and I narrow my eyes at him. Behind his polite stare, there is a hint of annoyance. I know he's thinking this was not entirely his fault, that Everly had a hand in this.

I'd already dealt with her.

"Therefore, I'm taking you off your current assignment. You'll assist Randall for the next thirty days."

"Randall?" Karl looks up at me, horrified. "Wait…Sir…"

Behind him, Harrison snickers.

"One month," I slowly point out to him, watching him slump in his chair. His gaze is focused on the edge of my desk, and he doesn't look at me. "Not only will you patrol the floor, you're to help them if they happen to be short-staffed. Since you deem yourself to be quite the babysitter, you should be adept at helping Judith should the need arise."

Karl does his best not to scowl. But I can see it, for I'd have reacted the same way. I was assigning him to patrol a floor that didn't need anyone patrolling it, but it did quite often need help in the daycare center. Since he seemed to enjoy hanging around the younger members of the faction, he could spend some time with our youngest ones.

"I'm sorry, Sir." He repeats again, but he looks a little more pissed off now. "But she told me to take her…"

I don't care.

"She'll tell you a lot of things. Do not ever take my wife anywhere again. Understood? I don't care if she threatens your life." I pause, and he finally looks up at me. I'm sneering at him, when I suddenly wonder if he maybe did it for other reasons. Maybe he wasn't so confident after all. "Are you afraid of Everly?"

"No," He answers immediately, and I catch the hint of disdain in his voice. "I'm hardly afraid of Everly. She said she outranks me."

I let out a bark of laughter. Technically, she did, but he would have had grounds to refuse her.

"You'll do well to remember who you actually report to around here. And that isn't Everly." I make sure he's looking right at me, and he blinks despondently. "Before you think I'm being unfair, she'll be disciplined as well. As a soldier here, she had no right to join a mission she wasn't invited on. Neither did Tris. Unfortunately, I cannot ignore what happened."

He makes a sound of irritated agreement, because he can't argue with me.

"They'll be handled appropriately. Keep your mouth shut and your nose clean from here on out. Now you're done for the day. Get out of here."

I wave him off, and I find myself as annoyed as ever. It was one thing to know he'd been the one to drive her there, but it was another to look right at him, and hear him admit he'd done it because she threatened him. I suppose I should be proud of her for getting her way, but not at the risk of what could have gone wrong.

Max and Harrison both nod at me, watching him leave silently.

"How'd you come up with that punishment?" Max asks. His curiosity is well deserved; we rarely assigned soldiers to work there, and almost everyone avoided that floor like the plague.

"It's fitting." I snap, shaking my head. "Perhaps once he learns to deal with toddlers, he'll be more adept at saying no to Everly and Tris."

"Are you really disciplining Everly over this?" Max now looks highly entertained and he smiles. "How are you going to do that?"

"I'll dock her pay." I smirk, knowing full well she didn't even know how much she was paid or when. "Force her to eat in the mess hall for dinner. Make her hang out with you all day. Tell her she can't hang out with Tris anymore. Maybe all of the above."

"Sounds ineffective. What about Tris? What are you doing with her?" Max snickers, and I roll my eyes.

"Four can talk with Tris. Maybe they'll wind up back together and that'll be punishment enough for both."

"I'll say." Harrison agrees, and I'm not even sure he's listening. "The blonde kid, what's he going to do on the third floor? Isn't that-"

"He'll work in the daycare. They're always short, and anyone on that floor is required to fill in. He's about to spend thirty days babysitting."

"Sounds like a nightmare." Harrison agrees, then he shrugs. "Hopefully he learns his lesson. He's a good guy. Looks a lot like you when you got here."

I look up at him, slowly, and I realize he's right.

Maybe that's why he irritated the living fuck out of me. Not because he'd been gazing at my wife since the day she arrived, but because I saw myself in him. Someone coming here to make a new life for themselves, doing everything in their power to get ahead.

After a moment I shake my head no, because really, that idea is stupid.

Karl would never come close to what I'd done here, no matter how hard he tried.

 

 

I wander down to the training room far later than I planned.

I take the stairs two at a time, passing by a few lingering members smoking in the stairwell. I ignore them, not happy that I was running behind schedule, and growing more annoyed the closer I got to the training room.

The area grows familiar; the heavy doors are closed, and the rocky walls are as sharp and dark as ever. I throw the doors open without stopping, and I'm rewarded with the smell of sawdust and desperation. The sight before me is unappealing for the most part; the training class is in full swing. Each of them are paired up to spar, and there seems to be an endless amount beneath the lazy sunlight trickling in.

To the side of them, I see Everly, carefully observing.

I smile at the sight of her.

To the untrained eye, you'd possibly mix her up with the class. She's several heads shorter than all of them. She's dressed appropriately for training, and her hair is pulled up. She watches them intently, her gaze focused on the few in front of her, and they have her sole attention.

She doesn't notice me walking, not until I greet her loudly.

"Oh good, they almost look ready for some real fighting."

She turns around to look for me, and when she sees me, she immediately smiles. A few of the initiates pause to watch, no doubt seeing how lovely she looks. Their gazes are quick -sliding up over her head, until they realize I'm there, and very much the reason she's grinning.

I sneer at them for daring to look in my direction.

I stalk over the mats, eyeing them as though I am unimpressed with their very existence, until I reach her.

"Hi, Eric." Everly greets me, tilting her head up to look at me. I waste no time; my arm snakes around her waist to pull her against me and I feel the faint speck of relief that she's fine. Still here, still alive.

"I can't wait until you're done working down here," I announce, and I drop my stare to her. She's looking at me sweetly, and I want nothing more than to drag her out of here. "Hi, Everly. What time does our number one traitor let you break for lunch?"

Since returning from the factionless, I'd spent more time with Four than ever. We'd been unable to find his mother, and Andrew Prior was taking his sweet time following up with what Four promised. Talking with Karl only reminded me of Four's involvement in all this, and the speck of civility I'd felt during our lunch was gone. Once again, I felt nothing but general annoyance by his presence, and Everly knew this. She'd listened to me curse his name, nodding her head and telling me she understood, but she didn't agree.

The fucker had apologized to her. Multiple times. Probably sniveled that he was innocent, and how he shouldn't be blamed for what had gone on. Because she was nice to everyone in this world, Everly accepted it. She was happy to work alongside him, and I would be happy when she was done.

"I have another thirty minutes before Four and I are due to take a break," She smiles up at me, and leans against my side. I glare over her head, finding Four walking past a group of initiates pretending he can't see me.

"Come with me now," I demand, deciding I won't leave until she comes with me. She's been gone the whole morning, and that's long enough.

She shakes her head, grinning as the boys in front of us swing wildly. I make a mental note that she's warm against my side, and very appealing. The urge to just carry her out is almost overwhelming. I know this is her job, and she's happy here, but I want to remind all of these initiates who she is. Who she's married to. A few have dared to look at us again, their gazes pausing when they get to my arm around her waist, and I eye them back with a vengeance. If I were a petty person, I'd tell her to dock them points for wasting time.

"I wish." She answers, and I tighten my hand on her waist. A glare later, the initiates watching smartly go back to their sparring.

"You know I outrank him, right? I could always order you to come eat lunch with me," I keep my eyes on Four, but I bend far enough that my lips graze her ear. She reacts by shivering, then tilting her head at me.

"You could." She answers, doing her best to watch the class. "But then I wouldn't be able to fill you in on all the gossip."

Like I care.

I smirk at the ones stumbling into their fight, but to my relief, they are marginally better than Four's last class. I brush my lips against her neck quickly, then let go of her with an exaggerated sigh.

"Fine. I'll still be hungry in half an hour. I'll meet you then."

My fingers leave her side, and I throw one more dark, menacing stare at the class. To my delight, they look panicked, and a few step back away from me.

I leave Everly standing there, watching me, and I stalk back to my office.

 

 

To my delight, she shows up exactly thirty minutes later.

She spends her entire break on my lap, her arms around my neck and her lips against mine. I should warn her that if she doesn't stop, she'll have to eat on the walk back. But I don't. I do grasp a fistful of her hair, and I feel her sink against me, fully satisfied with kissing me instead.

"I missed you this morning." I mutter the words against her lips, tightening my grip on her hair. One of my hands slips beneath her tank top, skimming up her lower back. "Did you get it out of your system? Are you over it now? Ready to quit hanging out with Four?"

She laughs, turning to kiss my cheek as my phone rings.

"No." She teases, kissing the side of my jaw, and I grumpily answer the phone without looking.

"ERIC." Daniel blurts my name out, having caught me off guard. I don't greet him back; I'm too busy with Everly, and I close my eyes when she nudges me to return my attention to her. Daniel proceeds to ramble on and on, pleading with me to just listen.

But I can't.

Everly is sitting on my lap, still kissing me, and she's far more interesting than him. He talks forever, and I halfway listen until Everly leans away from me. I lock eyes with her, realizing she's about to leave, and I feel a weariness wash over me. It's not her, never. It's Daniel. It's him, yapping in my ear about how sorry he is, and how he'd like to make this up to both of us.

I shake my head, and Everly gets the hint. She leans in, pressing her lips to mine once more. I hold onto her hair, twisting the dark strands tighter until I know if she doesn't leave, she'll be late.

Everly's nose touches mine and she pulls away with a disappointed frown. I move my hand to touch the side of her cheek. I stare at her, her lovely face and her bright eyes, and I realize I have everything I'd ever needed right in front of me. I have no desire to force her to deal with him, especially not after how she was treated at the dinner. She doesn't deserve that, not then, and not ever.

I tell Daniel I'm done with dinners for a while, and I hang up before he can say anything further. I don't plan on seeing him ever again and he seems to get the hint.

Satisfied, I toss the phone on my desk without looking. I kiss Everly good bye one more time officially making her late, but it's worth it.

There is nothing more important than her, and there never will be.

 

 

The rest of my afternoon is boring.

Busy, but boring enough that I find myself uninterested in almost all of it. The only exciting moment is when I call Cara back to discuss her strategy at nailing the interview. She would be meeting with four others who could potentially fill the position, but not everyone was thrilled with this plan. The death of Jeanine was still a sore spot for some members of the Erudite faction. Some still clung to the idea that she had been a brilliant leader. They had no clue what she was working on or what she really thought. The only knew her as someone dedicated to bettering the factions, even after our neatly worded announcement.

But Cara is smart.

I can tell right away.

I decide I find her tolerable after the first few minutes of speaking to her; she holds a fairly unimportant job now, but it's obvious she's loyal to her faction and fairly open minded. Willing to work with us. Willing to answer what I ask. At the risk of turning into a power hungry egomaniac, I resist giving her all the interview questions, and hint that she'll be asked about the qualities she looks for in a leader, and how she, herself, fills them.

I hang up feeling better about this than I have been. Jason and I had narrowed the candidates down to five. Jack had narrowed them down to two. Tori liked one. Rylan liked zero. Harrison claimed he couldn't read.

But this was progress, progress that was long overdue, and I felt a speck of superiority at thinking that if I pulled this off, I might be able to relax a little.

I think of this my entire walk home.

Knowing what went on in the factions was good but having a semi-personal relationship with the leaders beyond forced formalities would be greatly beneficial to me. Jeanine had been stupid to think so lowly of everyone else as to not concern herself with them. She made a huge mistake by dismissing the idea that they were paying attention to her, collecting information and forming their own opinions. She fancied herself unstoppable, much like Evelyn was doing right now.

I shake my head while I unlock my door, throwing it open and heading inside, more determined than ever to not think about her, either. It felt like she was always there, lurking in my head, popping up just when I thought things were okay for a second.

All of my thoughts vanish when I take a single step inside. I catch sight of Everly, standing in the kitchen with a fairly grim expression on her face.

I observe her without saying much, taking in the sight unfolding before me. Everly in the kitchen was a sight I liked, but for entirely different reasons. Right now she's scowling at something, and it occurs to me that the stove is on. My eyes fly to the fire alarm, and I wonder how long I have before my entire apartment goes up in flames.

"You're making dinner?" I head around the counter to meet her in the kitchen. She looks up in surprise, and some relief. She's got a jar of spaghetti sauce in her hands, and from the looks of it, she's been unable to open it. To the side of her are noodles in a pot of boiling water, and plenty of spices and seasonings she doesn't need. I eye her warily, but for the most part, everything looks fine.

"Um, yes. I am," Everly answers brightly, but her tone is highly suspicious. She looks nervous. Pretty, but nervous. She sets the jar on the counter, presumably so I can open it, and she turns around to face me.

"Why?" I reach for her waist, wondering what on Earth possessed her to cook dinner. Since arriving here, she'd made toast. Then broke my toaster. But I hadn't married her for her culinary talents. In fact, I liked cooking for her, and it worked out just fine the way things were. "Did you break something else?"

I pull her against me, until she's right up against my chest. I'd missed her all afternoon, in an odd, unfair way that I couldn't explain. I knew where she was. What she was doing. Hell, I could even pull up the training room on my phone and see her if I really wanted to. It didn't even matter that I'd spent her lunch break with her or kissed her for a half hour straight.

I'd missed her regardless, in an oddly jarring way.

I make up for it now.

I kiss her before she can tell me she broke the dishwasher. The expensive dishes from the market that Rylan had laughed at but ultimately helped me carry back. The oven. It doesn't matter now. One of my hands slips into her hair, beneath the long, dark strands to tilt her head up to me. She sinks right against me, giving in and rising up to kiss me back. I let my forehead rest against hers, and my fingers tighten on her skin. There's a comfort to kissing her like this, in my kitchen, safely away from the faction.

"Thank you, we'll be in touch."

I'm jarred back to reality by Daniel's voice.

I break away from Everly, staring at her wide, guilty eyes, and I can tell she'd forgotten he was here. I hear him mutter something else, and his footsteps are heavy as he intrudes upon the most private part of my life.

Everly.

I look down at her, cocking one eyebrow because the expression on her face tells me she let him in here, and I patiently count to five thousand before I speak. "You didn't tell me we had company."

I turn away from her, and lo and behold, there he is.

My father.

Watching me stand there, having been kissing Everly mere seconds ago, with an equally guilty look on his face. My shoulders pull back immediately, and I straighten up, already on the defensive.

Maybe it was a trait I'd picked up from him, but it seems that Daniel Coulter was unable to listen to people telling him no.

 

 

Our dinner is just as miserable as the one in Erudite.

For starters, I have to finish making it. Everly very slowly let go of me, looking fully prepared to defend herself for letting him into my home. I can't entirely blame her. There is little doubt he did his best to woo her into thinking he was a nice person. I feel stupid for not predicting he'd show up; it was clear that he liked her, and he'd looked crushed when we left him and Blythe in the restaurant.

He was also guilty as fuck.

He'd let Blythe grill Everly, insulting her every chance she got, and he'd not even tried to stop her. I had long ago learned he gave into Blythe an absurd amount, but Everly deserved the most basic respect, even from Blythe.

It's all I think of as I finish cooking spaghetti and meatballs, as Everly sits with him at the table. She'd slipped away from me without a word, gingerly taking the seat next to him at our dining room table.

It looked wrong.

He looked wrong.

He watched me finish making dinner, something he himself had never learned to do, and he was quiet. Polite. Charming. He and Everly spoke about…something, something I missed while I plated the dinner, and I noticed she was happy. Much happier than she'd been in Erudite, where it was implied she wasn't smart enough to be married to me, or old enough.

Oddly enough, the latter seemed to bother Blythe more.

Daniel looks happy, too, given this chance to connect with her. He smiles, tilts his head, and listens to her. Really listens. Pretends he didn't attend a dinner where she was put up for slaughter. But the stress isn't gone, not entirely. He knows he's not welcome here, and he eyes me carefully as I set his plate down. It takes him a second to reach for his fork and he should be rightfully suspicious that I'd poisoned him. I could have. I almost dare him to eat what I've made, but I keep my mouth shut because Everly looks up at me with large eyes, and I crankily drop down into the seat next to her.

We eat in silence.

I almost prefer this to the inquisition from last time, but I also gain a small speck of satisfaction in not speaking to him. I know his intent is to come here and spy on us, to bring back little specks of information to Blythe, and I refuse to give him anything. He'd already wandered in on me kissing Everly, from my own bedroom no less. Had Everly not been here, I'd have lost it on him for sneaking around like he owned the place. But luckily for him, she was here, and I simply filed that little event away for later.

He smiles at me, taking a bite of the dinner I'd made, and I don't smile back.

I do take a very long drink of the brandy I'd poured myself. I wasn't quite liberal enough with how much I poured, and I was regretting that now.

Oh well.

The silence lasts a few more heavy minutes. Everly is beginning to look discouraged all over again when I stay quiet, and I wonder what he's told her to make her want to endure his company. There was nothing to be gained from hanging around him, but she didn't know that. Much like Four, she'd probably been quick to forgive Daniel, even though he didn't deserve it.

"So, Everly. You're working on completing your leadership program?" Daniel breaks the silence with a rather invasive question. He does his best to sound casual, as though he doesn't spend his days commanding a staff of his choosing. Everly looks up, somewhat confused, and so am I. I can't remember why or if I'd told him that, and that leaves Arlene to have shared what Everly was doing.

Great. I make a mental note to kill her when I get the chance.

"I am. Right now I'm helping with the newest training class. It feels really good to be back with the initiates," Everly answers him, sounding as pleased as ever.

I throw her one very dark look, wishing she'd give up the dream of being Four's assistant. She could lead the class by herself, and if I could find a way to frame Four for murder, then she could. She could have all the initiates she wanted. I just didn't love the idea of her down there, far smaller and too pretty to be instructing them. She was better than schlepping down there daily, babysitting the ones who scored high enough to stay.

I keep glaring at her, hoping she's picked up on my disdain for her desired job, but she ignores me.

"It got pushed back a bit while I was gone, but they're doing really well now."

Daniel smiles at her.

It's not his usual grin, something cocky and charming and always kind. It's warm and proud, and I hate him for it. He knew what had happened to her. He'd tried to help, even though his own life was being threatened by Jeanine at the same time. But past that, he knew nothing of her return. It's fine that he's impressed she stayed alive, but he's no doubt somehow managed to relate that back to him.

"I think that's fantastic. There's something about helping shape the minds of your future members that's very fulfilling."

I clear my throat to avoid laughing at him. Everly notices; she smiles at me, happy someone else likes her plan.

"Thank you." Her words are sweet, and heavy with meaning. "I agree."

I don't.

I take a very large sip of the brandy, wishing it would burn away the urge to get up and leave. I drink more, but it's not enough. Every time I look at Daniel my head hurts, and every time I look at Everly, my chest hurts. She has a hopeful expression on her face, especially every time he agrees with her about working with the initiates.

It doesn't take a psychology degree to figure out that his approval means something to her, no matter how unnecessary it is.

When I reach the bottom of my glass, I realize that.

Angrily.

"Why are you here again?" I question him loudly, staring right at him. My words echo in the apartment, harsh and cold and entirely accusatory.

Next to me, Everly cringes. I'm sure in Amity, she'd have been kicked out for speaking so rudely. Especially to one's father. But this is Daniel, and my question is fitting.

He's come for something, and knowing him, it's not as valiant as he's pretending it is.

"I wanted to apologize for your mother. I know dinner did not go very well." Daniel hesitates, and the guilt on his face is clear as day. "I thought maybe the three of us could have a few dinners together. Get to know each other."

Everly blinks in surprise while I blink in annoyance.

I'm sure he'd like to get to know her. The more snippets of gossip he could bring home to Blythe, the better. He looks at me out of the corner of his eye, awaiting my response. I hate to break it to him, but it won't be what he wants. I have no plans of inviting him back here or dragging Everly to Erudite for Round Two of Blythe's Psychology Hour.

Everly decides she likes it.

Her face lights up, and she grins at both of us. "I think that's a really good idea."

Her announcement hangs in the air, and I grow instantly furious. I can feel my expression change, and my jaw tenses up before I'm aware of what I'm doing.

"It's not really." I lean back in my chair, staring at Daniel. "I don't really need you here as a spy for Blythe."

He shakes his head, not at all surprised. "You know that's not why I'm here."

"It's exactly why you're here," I snap, and just like the dinner, I'm losing my patience. "You can't tell me she's not going to grill you the minute you walk in the door. I told you to leave us alone."

Daniel struggles to keep a neutral expression on his face, but his posture tells me he's frustrated at how this is going. "Eric." He says my name with a heavy sigh, one that's well earned, I suppose. "I'm not your mother. I'm not here to gather any sort of information. I just want to know my daughter-in-law."

I stare at him.

His expression is mildly uneasy, as he does his best to salvage this dinner.

"You didn't invite us to the wedding. I'd like a chance to at least celebrate with you two." He stalls, drinking his coffee and laying the guilt on thick. I know exactly what he's trying to accomplish, but unfortunately, I don't have it in me to agree to any of this. "Or, at the very least, I'll meet Everly for lunch now and then. You've had her all to yourself for some time now."

I do my best not to sneer at him.

"We didn't really have a wedding that anyone would have been able to attend. I certainly think we could do dinner," Everly points out, and her tone is sweetly optimistic. I can see the flash of want in her eyes, though this particular want is to fill the void her father left. It's easy to see Daniel fits the criteria. Not as a substitution, but maybe an addition to her life, someone she could have a connection with.

And he knows it.

He stays quiet, setting his coffee down, and he waits.

Patiently.

He watches both Everly and me, sitting there, not saying much.

There are a thousand reasons why I want to shut this down before it starts. A thousand situations I could bring up to show Everly he's not the man she thinks he is. That allowing her to get to know him will only lead her to utter disappointment. That he'll eventually lose interest in her completely. She'll be shoved to the wayside when his work comes first; their dinners will be filled with him answering his phone, politely telling her to hold on while he helps someone else. Him promising things he can't fulfill. Forgetting he said he'd meet her, because his life is scheduled down to the minute.

Him making her feel like she's unimportant, because that's what he does best.

But the look on her face is one I haven't seen. She's staring at me with her head tilted, silently pleading but also unwilling to back down. She looks determined, as though if I tell him to fuck off she won't be happy, and I will suffer the results of this.

I drop my stare to the glass in front of me. To the dark, amber colored liquid that I'm nearly out of. To the blur of my reflection, sitting there slouched over, wishing I could smash this glass over Daniel's head.

Everly waits, her gaze primed toward me, and when her eyes meet mine, I'm unable to ask him to leave.

"Fine. Two dinners."

I snap the words at no one. I can see Everly grinning triumphantly, along with Daniel. His smile is wide and genuine, and he looks noticeably happier.

Good for him.

"Excellent. I look forward to them." Daniel answers, and I find myself unable to stop scowling. If he wants two dinners, then two dinners he'll get. On his own time. Here, where I know what's going on. After that, we're done.

"Good. I can't wait to hear all of Eric's childhood secrets," Everly sounds thrilled, and her voice takes on a highly entertained tone.

Too bad for her, I'd rather die than have Daniel offer up a speck of my childhood to her.

Not that he'd know.

"Not a chance," I bark, and I glare at her. "You leave me out of this. You two want to get to know each other, then fine. Have at it. But you'll leave me alone. I already know Daniel well enough."

Everly meets my stare, and there's a flash of apprehension there. I hope she realizes what she's doing by involving him, but I've quickly learned once she has an idea in her head, there's little use trying to stop her.

But I can certainly stop him.

"Fine. Maybe he could join us to celebrate our wedding anniversary." She very adorably tries to bargain, wanting more out of this deal than two dinners. But her words hit a nerve; our marriage was uniquely our own. I had planned on celebrating with only her, just like I'd married only her. I had no desire to have him join us for a dinner to celebrate such an event, pretending he was a part of our lives.

It was her and I, and that was all I wanted.

But it might not be what she wanted.

In fact, this entire situation of her wanting to get to know Daniel, left me wondering if she'd be happy if she didn't know him. When she realized what a garbage father he was, and the garbage father-in-law he'd be.

The only satisfaction I get is knowing I'll be there for her, on the day he disappoints her, just like he had me.

 

 

He leaves with a quick goodbye to me.

Everly's is longer; he tells her, no- assures her he'll call her soon, and his promise is amusing. I watch him program her into his phone, neatly scheduling her into his life and I roll my eyes. I hope she's noticed how organized it is, how coordinated and scheduled, how he has to find a place to fit her in, how this won't work.

But she probably doesn't.

She beams at him, then bounces off to get ready for bed.

He catches my arm before he leaves, and I jerk it away instantly.

"Eric…" He holds his palms up in visible innocence, and I shake my head. "I'd…if you celebrate, and I know you're not big on celebrating, I'd like to join you. Please. Just…give me that. You know my intentions are honest. I'm not lying to you."

My lips press together. He's not wrong, of course. I don't like celebrating unless it's my own way. I like celebrating with Everly, here, just us. I owe him nothing, not even the seconds it takes me to pretend to consider it, and he knows this.

"She's very sweet, Eric. And smart. If Blythe had given her a chance, I think she'd have ended up liking her."

"Fuck off, Daniel." I hiss. "I don't give a shit what you or Blythe think. There's more to Everly than being sweet. I'm glad you enjoyed eating dinner with her, but that's all you're getting. Nothing more. You aren't going to fuck this up. You and I both know you won't make either of these dinners. You'll get busy. Someone will need something. Anything, will come before her. Nothing will ever change."

He blinks.

I'm an inch away from him, my vision growing redder and redder.

"For my wife's sake, I'll humor you. I'll tell her you'll call. And you better. Because you won't do the same thing to her that you did to me, you got it?" I keep my voice low so she won't hear me, and I wait until he nods.

His expression is a mess, a mixture of sorrow and acceptance and complete regret.

It takes him a long time to look away from me. All I can think is how he better follow through with his words, or I'll make sure Everly never hears from him again.

"See you in a few weeks." I dismiss him, blood pumping furiously in my veins and ringing in my ears.

"Goodnight."

Daniel leaves without looking back. He retreats from the apartment quickly, his triumph of winning over me damped by the realization of who he is. The door shuts heavily, and I stand there, staring at the wall until I hear Everly call my name.

 

 

She walks by me dressed like what I imagine she would have worn on her wedding night to Landon.

I watch her while I pull off my shirt, surprised that I haven't seen this one before. Sure, the other nightgowns all looked the same. Silky or lacey, soft against my skin, and softer when they hit the bedroom floor. But this one is white, a stark contrast against her dark hair, and even more so when she sinks onto my bed.

Her hair is down, longer than I remember, and she brushes it out of the way as she settles against my pillows. The entire room is made up of darkness: myself -dressed in black, dark sheets, dark comforter, dark furniture, dim lighting.

Except for her.

She sits there, smiling in the sparse glow of the lamps, waiting for me.

"Would you and Landon have had a big wedding?"

I look right at her, and my question is spoken without filter. My brain temporarily disconnects itself, full of images and ideas from our dinner. I blame Daniel. The thought that she and I have an anniversary coming up is there, along with the possibilities of what could have been, weighing heavily, until it forces me to ask her something I'd never wondered.

Until now.

To my relief, she wrinkles her nose.

"Yes. I mean, if I had wanted to marry Landon. Which I never wanted to do. But typically, Amity has large weddings." She shrugs, reaching for the edge of the comforter. "They never turn down the opportunity to celebrate anything."

"Sounds thrilling." I mutter, but she doesn't hear me.

She's already beneath the dark sheets, settled against my side of the bed, probably with her eyes closed.

I leave her be, her small frame barely visible but I know she's there. I head over that way, stopping when she calls my name.

"Eric." She pauses, and there is a slight hesitation. "What's your Dad's name?"

I smirk, throwing the covers back and climbing in. I'm right. She is on my side of the bed but it's fine by me. I'd have yanked her over to me sooner or later. While I settle into the bed, I take a second to answer her, wondering if this was information she absolutely had to have.

I eventually answer.

"Daniel. Why?"

"I don't think you ever told me." She responds, and her voice is quiet.

"It must have slipped my mind." I stare at the ceiling, and she pushes herself back slightly. Just enough that her feet touch my legs, and she's inches away from me.

"When will we see him again?" She asks softly, so softly I almost miss it, but I don't. I let my arm move over to touch her back, and I trail it down her shoulder.

"You just saw him. You want him to come back for dessert?"

My answer is snippy, still annoyed at giving in to him, but it doesn't matter now. Everly is already half asleep, and I might as well go to bed. In the morning, maybe she'll forget about him. She'll forget what he promised, what he can't fulfill and she can move on from thinking he'd have a place in her life.

Which is for the best.

"Goodnight, Eric," she practically whispers, and I close my eyes. I can feel her next to me, drifting off, her hair tickling my arm.

"Goodnight, Everly."

I answer her just as quietly, and a second later, I fall asleep.

 

 

In the morning, Max is insistent that Evelyn has left the city.

He shows us a map that should in theory, prove his theory.

But it doesn't.

There's been no activity even remotely close to the wall. Not even within a good mile. He grows irritable when I point this out, but this is our third meeting today, and so far, not much has been accomplished.

Everyone was being managed remotely. While we were sitting here, alerts came in from the outside. I read them in real time, scrolling through the feed when I grew bored enough, and click out of Peter's messages with little interest. He had Jeremy assisting him, and it was a partnership that was explosive since they couldn't agree on much.

His earliest text was a whiny, poorly worded sonnet about how Jeremy hadn't shown up, and how he, himself, would have to trek along with the squads if he failed to report for duty. I felt no sympathy for him. I urged him to shut the fuck up, then I returned my focus to Max.

There is something off about him.

Normally, he was spacey and uninterested in working. He'd been a soldier here for years, and a Leader for even longer. He'd mostly earned the right to command things from his office, and he favored approving things rather than starting them. But today, he seems desperate to keep us in here, listening to him try to prove his point.

I idly wonder if he is hiding something.

"What about…Abnegation? Why aren't we looking there?" Jason asks, feet propped up on the table. His shoes are lime green, blinding if you stared long enough. "You know, the place where her ex-husband is."

"You'd think we would look there." I retort, and I lean back in my seat. "In fact, we could just go there. Forget Marcus and his plea for our help. Remind him he's risking the safety of his faction and run him over."

Max shakes his head. "Not now. We aren't trying to stir shit up. Not just yet." He then glances at his watch, and frowns. "Alright, let's take a quick break. We'll meet back in twenty minutes and check in on the squads out there now."

Rylan groans, despair all over his face as he rises up, and he dramatically stretches his neck from side to side. "Is it a meeting to discuss how many more meetings we'll be having? I'd like to do something other than sit all day today."

"Agreed." I stand up quickly, and I motion for him and Jason to follow me. "Unless you have some real news, the three of us will be out doing actual work."

Max's protest is immediate and useless.

We leave together, and not a single one of us looks back.

 

 

We take a detour on the way to get lunch.

We stop by the third floor, Jason pushing the button with great glee, and the three of us step out into darkness. The doors open up quickly, giving way to the fact that the floor is deserted; the space is large and vast, laid out in a complicated, intricate diamond shape. It has lower ceilings than some of the other floors, and once you reach the main section, is rather well lit. It has to be, considering it's typically crawling with children.

"How's he doing down here?" Rylan asks, not bothering to hide the shit eating grin on his face. "Has he caved under pressure yet?"

"Nah," I shake my head. "He's doing fine. I saw him taking a break on the security tapes. He looked rough, but it beats listening to Peter talk all day."

The three of us take the first left we see, walking quickly. We pass a few lingering janitorial staff, mopping up what looks like juice. A whole lot of juice, spilled all over the walkway.

"Fuck this. These shoes are new. I'm not walking this way." Jason announces hotly, and he does his best to avoid the spill. "This might be the literal worst floor ever."

His words are accurate, and I'm sure Karl shares the same sentiment.

We slow down as we near the daycare, though we hear it before we see it. There is a roar of screaming, ear piercing and shrill, and it only increases the closer we get. Rylan's eyebrows both rise, and his expression only grows funnier as we stop near the large windows.

"Ohhhh shit." Rylan smiles, and I cock my head to the side, pleased at the sight before me.

It's familiar.

It's an undulating mess of toddlers.

Most are dressed in all black and most are fighting. I spy one off to the side, sulking as she observes two boys in front of her fighting over a stuffed dinosaur. Karl is right in the middle of it. His face is pale and sweaty, and he looks exasperated as he takes it from the two fighting, and hands it to the girl.

The peace lasts a single second.

She smiles up at him, sweetly, then sticks her tongue out at the boys the minute Karl turns his back. He's immediately tackled by a small, angry army, and he's knocked down when the girl refuses to give it back. I smile widely as he yells something, desperately trying to yank the toy away from her and losing. A moment later, he is pulled down to the floor by the tiny velociraptors. He struggles to stand up, demanding she hand the toy back. A friend appears beside her, whispering in her ear, then skips off.

We watch Karl yell her name, but the little girl, well, she refuses.

She shakes her head at him and continues watching him struggle with her stare glued to him.

I'm immediately reassured my decision to have him work here was the right one. In fact, the girl reminds me of Everly, especially when she looks up at him with a sulky expression.

I was well aware that Everly was young. I wasn't dumb enough to overlook the fact that I'd married her while she was eighteen. I knew that even as mature as she was, she was bound to slip up or act out, and I couldn't fault her for that. It was inevitable growing pains, wanting to experience a freedom like no other, along with personal growth at a rapid pace.

But right now, watching the kids shriek and scream as they fight over toys, as one whacks Karl right in the face hard enough that he winces, I know what happened was what they both needed. This is what Karl needed. The same lesson Everly got, that some things were out of your control, and that was just fine.

I think he gets it now.

After Karl is swarmed and knocked back to the floor, the little girl looks up and over at us. I can see the exact second she realizes we're watching them, and she tilts her head. She smirks at all of us, then skips off, dinosaur in hand, the clear winner of the battle.

Eventually, Karl emerges from the sea of toddlers, adjusting his uniform. His hair is stuck up in several directions, and he wipes his face with his hands, groaning in exhaustion.

I hear him curse my name, over and over, as he heads off to attempt to wrangle the dinosaur back.

"I think we've seen enough," I announce. Karl disappears into the back, and Jason, Rylan and I leave.

I find myself smiling, really smiling, as they imitate his desperate, angry chant of my name the entire walk to Clyde's.


	37. The Announcement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to Bamberlee for editing what is the longest chapter so far!💕 
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who read + reviewed the last chapter. And thanks for all your patience for this one!! Cali was a blast but I am so happy to be home.
> 
> -Just a quick note: This chapter is super long. It does match back up with Everly's version, but it covers far more than her's did. So maybe get some snacks ready or something lol. 
> 
> Have a lovely week everyone!!

"Are you going?"

Rylan asks loudly, sliding me a muffin across the conference room table. I look over at him in confusion, not quite sure what he's inviting me to, but fully prepared to decline.

The past week had been long.

Very long.

Between making sure Everly was alright under the not so watchful care of Four, trying to find Evelyn, trying to figure out just why the fuck Jeremy was missing in action, monitoring every single faction, fixing Erudite's lack of leadership, fending off Peter, reading some print out Harrison kept shoving in my face, and attempting to listen to Everly talk about her day, I was close to either snapping at the next person who spoke to me, or having the second mental breakdown of my life. I could only drink so much coffee before my internal organs shut down, and I could only sign so many papers without looking before I approved something catastrophic.

"Am I going to what?" I ask him again, finally taking the muffin and staring at it.

"It's vegan." Rylan points out, sounding like he believes he's being helpful. "Just in case you were wondering."

"I wasn't." I answer. I set it back down, and he smiles.

A little too cheerfully for nine in the morning.

"I was asking if you were going to the Leadership Dinner. Will you and your wife be gracing us with your presence? There's a huge debate over if you two will really be there or not."

"Why do you care? You didn't even attend the last one." I point out, and he smiles again.

"Someone had to stay here." He rolls his eyes. "But I'm attending this one. And I want to make sure you and Everly are going."

"Yeah, sure. We'll be there." I shrug, and I decide to shove the muffin back at him. "Is Jason going?"

"Yes, yes he is." Rylan answers slowly, and he looks oddly enthused for such a mundane event. The last one might have tied with having dinner with Daniel and Blythe for worst event I'd ever been forced to attend. I might have had Everly in a pretty dress along for the evening, but I also had Ashley, doing her best to sabotage Everly in the bathroom, and Jeanine staring Everly down like she'd like to drag her away. "We'd like to sit by you."

"Why?" I stare at him, wondering just when the fuck he started caring about where he sat. "You'll know everyone there. But I'm sure Max can make that happen. Are you talking about you and Christina?"

"No, Four and I." Rylan looks insulted. "Yes, I mean Christina. Who else would I bring?"

"Beats me," I snap, and I shake my head. "And where is everyone? I thought this started at nine."

"It was supposed to." Rylan shifts his feet off the table, and glances around. "Aw shit, they moved rooms. They're meeting next door."

"Wonderful." I retort, grabbing the papers in front of me. "Who even scheduled this meeting? I thought we were done with this bullshit."

"We were," Rylan answers cheerfully. "Until Jeremy was reported officially missing." The two of us stand up, and Rylan grabs his vegan muffin to take along with him. "We'd also like to all color coordinate with whatever you're wearing. I was thinking we'd all wear black."

I throw him one very dark, murderous look. "Fine, I'm sure Four will wear whatever you ask him to."

He snorts in response, and I ignore him.

This day was already off to a stupid start, and I predicted it wouldn't get any better.

 

 

I'm right.

Our meeting we weren't even supposed to be having is long, my lunch is short, and it becomes all the worse when I catch a glimpse of Everly walking along with Four while I wait for the next meeting to start.

She looks happy, all smiles and a far more fitted training outfit than she normally wore, and she waves at someone in the distance. Four follows after her, his expression grim and grimmer, until he accidentally crashes into her because he clearly can't see her stopping right in front of him to greet someone.

I narrow my eyes at the screen.

He finally smiles, tightly, and they are suddenly surrounded by their class. I lose her in the crowd, but I know she's there, because they're all looking at her. They all seem happy she's back, but they also crowd around her, desperate to be close to her, desperate to absorb some of her good luck.

I keep watching, until my email dings. I open it up, a familiar name popping up on the screen, only to find out it's from Ashley. She's sent it from the email of the floor receptionist, and it's a thinly veiled attempt to figure out what's going on with their lack of leadership. Her email is friendly, despite having been slammed into the wall the last time I saw her, and she hints that she's forgiven me.

Her benevolence is pathetic.

I keep reading, until she asks that I please call her, because she has something to tell me.

But I'm not the only one reading it.

Jason is basically leaning across me to see what I'm doing, and his eyes widen when he reads that she'd be happy to find me a place to stay in case I wind up there overnight. Which she also implies will happen.

"Not a chance." He hisses, elbowing me to reply on Everly's behalf. I'm thrilled at his desire to dissuade me from going there, but I have never had less of a desire to see Ashley than now. I shake my head no, when he elbows me again, this time painfully hard.

"Will you stop that?" I snap at him, growing visibly irritated.

"Not on my watch!" He retorts, and in that moment, he manages to triumphantly grab my phone from me.

I react immediately; I do my best to smack it away from him, and he does his best to keep it away from me, out of fear that I might respond. Why he'd think that is beyond me. But he frantically pushes a few buttons, managing to delete the email and I lunge for him. He looks horrified when I finally knock the phone free, and it hits the edge of the table, shattering the screen.

The entire room falls silent, and he gingerly picks it up.

"Well…then…I'll uh, I'll just get that fixed for you," Jason announces slowly, and I realize everyone in the room is looking in my direction.

Their gazes are horrified, and they should be.

I can only nod at Jason wordlessly, pressing my lips together to refrain from yelling something.

"Go." I hiss.

He's gone before anyone can say a single thing, and Max awkwardly restarts our meeting, very delicately informing us that Jeremy is gone, and so are all his belongings.

 

 

The bloodied hand fills the screen, slashing wildly at nothing, as the camera pans away to reveal a wide open space. The TV is silent, until the thing lurches back into the bright sunlight, it's skin peeling away to reveal it's jaw bone.

I read Four's email out of the corner of my eye, only half watching.

"What is that?" Next to me, Everly sits up, tilting her head to get a better look at the TV screen. We'd been in here for a good hour so far. She'd watched something about people who hunted ghosts, lead by a douchebag with spiky hair, then skipped to this.

She wasn't far into it, but she clearly wasn't enjoying it. She hadn't really enjoyed the ghost show, either.

I read the last paragraph of Four's email, including the sentence about how Andrew Prior was willing to help, but wasn't quite sure how to proceed, and when I look at her, she's patiently waiting for my answer.

"It's a zombie." I eye her quickly, then I skip to the next email. I'd brought my tablet in here to get some work done, having put off half of it to prepare for the meeting with the Erudite candidates. I'd been busy, busy beyond busy, and it wasn't particularly pleasing to bring my work home.

But I told myself it was fine. Everly seemed to catch on to my unhappy mood through dinner; the minute we were done, she asked if I wanted to watch something, and I'd gratefully sunk onto the bed beside her. I let her pick out whatever she wanted, thinking it was better if her attention wasn't on me,

I should have known she'd have a million questions. I recline back further, my right arm draped behind her, and I unconsciously reach for the ends of her hair. She's staring intently, obviously having never seen such a creature. "It was a show about people who try to survive in a world overrun by them."

"I see." She squints at the TV, watching the leader appear from the shadows to ensure his group made it out safely.

I pull on the ends of her hair, still damp from her shower. "He's the leader. He woke up to discover everyone he knew was infected."

I gesture to the screen, to the dark haired man currently aiming his gun at the zombie. Everly isn't paying too much attention to it. She's busy trying to look at what I'm reading, and I close out of it completely. The email, while too lengthy for her to read in seconds, details our travel arrangements for Erudite. Information she doesn't need to see. I don't need her deciding she wants a repeat of my last mission, even though it's unlikely she'd convince anyone to take her anywhere.

But her interest is sweet, if not expected. She's been patient lately, having dealt with me being distracted by this, along with the hunt for Evelyn, and I felt shitty that the person I wanted to spend the most time with, was the person I was seeing the least.

"Do they all live?" She asks, scooting closer to me. Her t-shirt is oversized and hardly warm, and her pajama shorts are too short for anything really. She watches the man lead his team through the crowd, some slowing down, some attempting to get too close to the zombies, and every other sentence is him screaming for them to hurry up.

I strongly identify with him.

"I haven't watched them all," I mumble. I hadn't, mostly because I didn't have time. Jason had found this show, an entire series really, and had watched it over a week. Neither Rylan nor I saw him, until he emerged, pale and paranoid that we could have such an outbreak here. I vaguely remember him holing up in his office, refusing to do anything but research survival techniques. "There's a ton of episodes."

My fingers move on their own, finding Everly to be a pleasant distraction from my work. From the zombies. From Dauntless. From the thought of Dauntless, filled with zombies. I lazily work my way up and down her spine, until I reach her neck. She shivers, and I slide my fingers right into her hair.

The strands are dark against my fingers, and I tangle them there. She leans her head back, exposing the side of her neck to me, completely unaware of what she's doing.

"Do you know what next Saturday is?"

"My day off?" She answers, now distracted herself. On the screen, the leader pierces the zombie's skull with a knife, pushing hard to make sure it's dead. Everly's eyes widen when he jerks the knife out of the head, and moves onto the next one.

"It's the Annual Leadership Dinner."

She glances at me out of the corner of her eye, trying her best to pretend she's watching the TV. But her cheeks burn red, probably with the memory of our last leadership dinner together. It happened right after we slept together for the first time, and mere hours after I'd married her. I smile smugly, thinking how she'd signed the paperwork in a frantic hurry, thinking all she was doing was signing off on her training scores.

There was also the little matter of how I'd asked her to attend with me.

Which right now, doesn't seem like a bad idea.

"Should I ask you the same way I asked you last year?" I ask, enjoying when she giggles.

She leans in closer, always, until she's touching my arm but not looking at me.

"I can only hope you will."

Her answer is sweet and teasing, and she stares at the zombies with an intense focus. I toss my tablet to the nightstand, somewhat relieved when it doesn't break upon impact. I pretend to consider her answer, bending my head down and brushing her hair out of the way.

"Maybe tomorrow. I'll give you time to clear your calendar."

She shivers when my nose touches her skin, and I stay there longer than necessary. Eventually, she forgets about the zombies and the dinner, and she presses herself back against me. She's silent as my hands snake around her waist, pulling her closer, until she's in my lap.

Her show ends on a high note.

The leader successfully leads his team past the mass of zombies, and they celebrate their momentary win as the screen darkens.

 

 

On Monday, the final selections for Erudite are made.

The nominees are given mere days to put together a presentation for their interviews, and they're told to be ready. They'll present them at an unspecified time, in front of a panel who will be ready with questions.

Including me.

But it's not just us coming. It wouldn't be fair for Dauntless to have the sole deciding vote on this matter. So along with myself and Max, Jack and Johanna will be there.

So will Andrew Prior.

There's an interested, buzzy feeling that goes along with this trip because if we choose incorrectly, we could be looking at the second, or really- third coming of Jeanine. Selecting the wrong leader means a repeat of our current struggle, or even worse, someone who understood what Evelyn wanted. Someone who felt the same way, or maybe would be willing to listen to her.

This pressure to find the perfect leader is immense. The Erudite faction needs someone smart and well spoken, but also human. Jeanine was smart, but cold and calculating. Indifferent to what happened in her faction, unless it affected her directly. After taking a step back from her reign, I was able to see that while she had been able to have others forced respect, it was ultimately her undoing.

It could have been mine.

I neatly line up the pages of the candidate's bios, staple them together, and the thought of just how different my life could have been slams right into my head, hard enough that I wince. Had I continued working for her, my life would be entirely different. Had I never thought twice about what I was working on or opened my eyes to her ever changing and never concrete demands, I might not be sitting here.

Had I declined training Everly, I wouldn't have known her.

I would know of her, and I'd certainly know her name when it presented and highlighted as the next test subject.

I would have been dragging her right into Jeanine's office, her dark hair everywhere and my grip tight on her arm. I would have pushed her forward, right into the room where the testing would have commenced. Watch her fight for her life until it drained from her eyes, never having known her as more than a soldier with a secret to hide.

Maybe I'd have stayed to watch.

Maybe I'd have locked stares with her, her skin pale and sweaty, her green eyes pleading for me to stop Jeanine, knowing full well I didn't care at all what happened to her.

I think of her now, how I'd left her half asleep this morning, sleepily mumbling my name, and I realize I've been holding my breath for some time now.

On Tuesday, Four shows up in my office.

It's early. I'd left Everly in bed, still sound asleep, unaware that I'd spent half the night awake, agonizing over what I could have done to her. I suppose the ramifications of what I'd been doing never really hit me. I couldn't deny that I knew I was bringing people to meet their death. But ultimately, I had told myself it was my job. My responsibility. I was keeping the factions safe, ridding them of those who didn't belong, and who couldn't exist without ruining what we'd worked for.

Until Everly.

Until I realized that divergence, no matter the percentage, didn't define the person. At three percent, she was hardly out to dismantle the system or wreak havoc upon those around her. All Everly wanted out of life was someone to appreciate that she existed. For someone to look for her in the darkness, as well as the light. To mean something, ultimately – to someone.

And she did.

In a soul crushing, heavy way.

There was no way she'd know, or no way I'd ever come close to explaining what I felt for her. That my then seemingly juvenile feelings toward her, dismissed as a pathetic crush, had always been far more than that. That what I felt for her reached places in the very basis of each cell in my body, that I was often surprised at my own actions.

 

 

Including right now.

Four sits across from me, looking pale and somewhat sickly, and he slides a paper at me. He nods his head when I take it from him, and he is silent while I read it.

His mother's handwriting is familiar, neat and well written, but it takes me a long time to decipher what she's trying to say. It's dated some time ago, maybe before we went to take her down, maybe after. But that's not what's important.

It's what she's after.

I set the letter down on my desk, and I sit back in my chair. I look at Four, still silent and still waiting for me to say something, and I know this took everything in him to come here to bring this to me.

"Are you back with her?"

His head tilts at my words, and I realize I should clarify. He knows I'm still suspicious of him, and perhaps always will be.

"Tris," I announce her name slowly, louder than planned. "Are you back together with her? Is that why Evelyn's newest threat is toward our least valuable member?"

While his look of disdain is instant, it takes him a long time to nod. His relationship with Tris is no more my business than anyone's. I'm the last person he'd ever bring this up to, the last person he'd ever think of daring to bring this message to. But I know why he's here.

Because he knows. He knows this is bigger than what he can take on by himself. I know he's chosen to be selfless all over again, to put aside our rift, even at the chance I might lash out at him all over again, all to protect her.

The same way I'd do anything to protect Everly.

Of course, the similarities of our predicament don't sway me over to the dark side.

I still don't like him. Even now, I find him shifty and awkward, looking at me like he'd like to get up and walk out, but knowing better. I know he still doesn't believe Everly is safe with me, and every day I find myself in an unconscious battle to prove that she is. Sometimes to him. Sometimes to myself.

It's never ending, and never will be.

But I can appreciate him coming in here, because this note proves to me what I was thinking. That Evelyn is out there, and she isn't sitting pretty. She's simply biding her time, watching and learning, and now, she's carefully selected another target from Dauntless. Another person she'll use to cause harm and disruption, to drive her point in, just a little bit deeper. She might not have been successful with Everly, but this note goes to show she's learned. She's a little more careful. A little more clever.

A little more bold in her demands for our compliance.

"Do you think she'll come after her? Is there anyone in your class that you're thinking is involved or-" I start to ask Four, thinking out of anyone in the faction, he'll have this answer.

But he cuts me off, shaking his head furiously.

"No." He leans forward, resting his elbows on his thighs. "There's no one in the class who would be a threat. They're all here because they want to be. None of them work for Evelyn or are about to try anything. If they were, they'd have defected when they thought Everly was dead. But this, this is real. This is Evelyn, playing some game. Reminding me she's not happy and she's not going to stop until I'm not happy. So, how do I stop her? How do I tell Tris to watch her back, that I can't promise she won't wind up…in the same situation Everly was in?"

The room is silent, except for the groan of my office chair. I lean back, eyeing him carefully. I should get some satisfaction out of this, watching Four slowly descend into the very hell I'd crawled out of, but oddly enough, I don't.

"You don't tell her."

"What?" Four snaps his gaze at mine and shakes his head. "That's not right. She should know…she should…be aware something could happen."

"Could, but won't. Not after what happened with Everly. You have a higher risk of Jeremy returning and proposing to Tris than your mother showing up. She won't make it past the gates this time."

Four's face darkens, and I shake my head.

"I can't do anything more than I already am. You think we're sitting here, waiting for someone to show up and cause trouble? We aren't. Everyone in this faction, with the exception of a very select few," I pause, and he nods. "Are working to find Evelyn. Now, to make you look less depressed, I'll increase security around here. I'll…" I pause, and I roll my eyes. "I'll have Rylan keep an eye out for her. She and Everly both have orders to stay inside Dauntless until further notice. Fortunately for you, Tris's job keeps her here. I'll have him make sure neither of them leave. Beyond that, there's not much more I can do. Your best bet is to ignore your mother and her demands, and know that when she returns, I'll be waiting for her."

He nods.

Four still looks bothered, but I'm being honest with him. There isn't much else I can do to protect Tris, any more than I am. I couldn't assign both of them to sit in a room and stare at each other all day long. Everly had reminded me that living in fear was no way to live, and I refused to have either of them spend their days terrified of what could happen.

Ironically, this threat toward his second chance at what's probably the only happiness in his life, is nearly identical to mine.

"Thanks." He offers up, sounding very neutral. I suppose coming to me was like selling your soul to the devil. He was lucky, though. If he stayed out of my way long enough, I'd only remember this until the day he died. "I'll uh, I'll come back if anything else comes my way."

"You do that. Don't waste too much time thinking about Evelyn."

I answer him easily, watching as he rises, looking marginally less stressed than before. He shoves his hands in his pockets and takes off, leaving the note from his mother with me. I wait until my office door shuts before I open one of the drawers, fully prepared to shove this letter in there. There's a file, a neatly organized one, where the letter demanding my loyalty to Evelyn in exchange for Everly lies, and this one will join it.

I reach for the folder, grasping the flimsy manila in my hands, when it sticks. I realized it's jammed, having been shoved in there months ago when I could barely see straight. All it takes is one forceful pull from me, and it flies upward.

Beneath it, stacked in perfectly organized folders, is my entire life's work.

 

 

On Wednesday, I dress quickly.

Everly is around, eating her breakfast at the table and watching me march back and forth. There's an impatience to myself that I don't like; I'm not in any real hurry to get to Erudite, but this is one more day I'll be away from Everly. One more day when she'll stay here, with Four, and I won't be in the same faction.

Four's concerns stick in my mind, valid and pressing. What happened with Everly was calculated. Planned far in advance. Someone had watched her. Followed her. Knew when she was alone, when I wasn't there, or anywhere close to her. Knew who was manning the gates outside and knew when to take the opportunity presented to them.

It was unlikely it would happen again.

A war, sure.

A fight to the death, soldiers and factionless against one another, each determined to be the winner. Possibly.

But someone coming back in here, after Everly or Tris, that wouldn't happen.

Evelyn couldn't be that stupid.

Or could she?

This is what I think of as I turn to say goodbye to Everly. I bend down to kiss her goodbye, my lips touching hers briefly, too briefly, when my phone vibrates in my pocket. I have a feeling it's Max, ready to leave, or someone from the security team escorting us. My thoughts are forced away from her, right back to my work, and I break away from her quickly. I head toward my office rather pissed off, and when I get there, the sight of Rylan wearing an overly formal dinner jacket makes me stop in my tracks.

I realize it's my jacket, the one I'd worn to the first Leadership Dinner I brought Everly to, and before I can dare wonder how he has it or why he's got it on, I realize that in a few days, it'll be one year ago that I married Everly without telling her.

 

 

Erudite is not where I want to be today.

Normally, I'd welcome the break from Dauntless. I might even bring it upon myself to wander by Daniel's office, just to purposely not say hello. I would have sauntered by under the false pretense of being there to see someone else, just to irritate him, then returned once I'd had my fill of the hospital.

Today, I'm stuck in a meeting, listening to people argue over what qualities they want to see in their next leader. They are well aware they are the candidates, but each one seems to have something about them, some skill, some level of education, some plan, that makes them more qualified than the next.

The most prepared is Cara.

Because of me.

I sit there listening, but not really. I wonder what Everly is doing, and out of sheer boredom, I pay attention when Cara answers Max's question. She's younger than Jeanine, but just as put together. She sits up straight in her seat, answers politely, and isn't at all swayed by the heated arguments between the others. I decide she's the best choice, though a large part of that is because she seemed eager to help.

I slump in my chair, looking at my phone to check my messages when I feel Andrew Prior shift in his seat next to me. He hadn't said a single word to me other than a quick hello, and I knew he was thinking he had a cover to keep. I wanted to inform him he wasn't auditioning to be our latest spy or action hero. I simply wanted him to tell me what the fuck Marcus was doing. I didn't need a blood pact or our own secret code.

Just the facts.

But he takes his job seriously. He listens to the candidates, smiles, and every so often, looks at me out of the corner of his eye.

I text Jason.

I ask him if there's any word from Jeremy, and his no is expected. He does tell me Peter has asked to have Karl return to his position, now short not just a man, but a supervisor. I smirk, knowing he probably doesn't like the work load, and I tell him no.

"I think it's time we take a break." Max announces, and the dull roar of just how anthropological one is, comes to a screeching halt. I can see the boredom on his face, mixed with the pain of sitting here, amongst the most brilliant of Erudite, listening to them speak for hours without coffee.

"I agree." I shove my chair back, and Andrew startles, having been lost in thought. "Let's take an hour. I need something to eat."

I'm immediately met with several suggestions of where to eat, and I decide I don't want to spend any more time with any of these people, not even Jack. I ignore Max suggesting we eat together with Andrew, and I head out on my own. I'm far ahead of everyone, and I take the stairs rather than waiting for the elevator. I reach their cafeteria first, and I pick the furthest booth out of the way.

For the first time all day, I enjoy the silence.

I sit back in the booth and I don't have to listen to anyone. I do use this time to check my phone again – still no Jeremy, still no reprieve for Karl, and I ask Jason what Four's doing. He doesn't answer immediately, so I click out of it, and I hover over Everly's name.

Before I can call her, hoping she'll have a break from training, Cara shows up.

I give her credit for pausing by my table, and more credit when she says she has a few questions for me. I nod, not because I want her company in any way, but because I want to make sure she's the right choice.

When her gaze falls to the wedding ring on my finger, my eyes narrow at her, and I find myself doubting my decision.

 

 

"How long have you been married? I'd heard you got married a while ago, but no one knew if it was true or not."

Turns out, even the most brilliant of Erudite weren't immune to the gossip of what went on in other factions. She waits for me to answer, rather expectantly, but before I can rip her throat out for asking me such a question, she shakes her head.

"I apologize if that comes off as invasive. You had asked me about my life when we spoke a few days ago, and I was just curious if the rumors about you were true. I didn't mean to offend."

I stare at her. I had only asked a few basic questions about her life to ensure she'd be committed. An ideal candidate would put the faction first, and Cara's profile had come up with very little information on her private life. I suppose the question about my own personal life is fair, but that doesn't mean I'm going to answer it.

"Does it matter?" I ask, and my gaze is sharp on her. "Are you going to tell me something different if I'm not?"

"No." Cara shakes her head, and she smiles. "But I haven't seen many from Dauntless wear a wedding band. I thought maybe you wanted people to know and that's why you wore it."

"I don't care who knows." I take a large bite of whatever I ordered, and I shake my head right back at her. "But you'll have to understand, people seem to have a very vested interest in my wife lately."

"I heard…what happened to her. She must be a very strong person to have survived that." Cara looks impressed. "I was hoping she'd be here today. I wanted to meet her."

"Well, she's not." I take another bite of my sandwich, and the food is much better here than in Dauntless. "She's working."

"I understand. Did you know that I know your father?" Cara offers up, and the sandwich sticks in my throat. "He's friends with my dad. My dad works a few floors below his. I've had dinner with him a few times. He showed us a picture of her. I thought she was very pretty."

"She is." I answer without thinking, my gaze now glued to her. "Who's your father?" I rack my brain, annoyed I didn't make this connection sooner. "Do I know him?"

"I don't know if you would." Cara shrugs. "I thought maybe that was why you emailed me. Maybe you were doing him a favor. I was suspicious that I was being used for something."

I stare at her.

She's not entirely wrong.

She's not entirely right either.

"You're not. I found your application to be the one best suited for the faction's needs. The others…we need someone who can look past the position. Past the power and authority that come with it. You seem level headed. Like you'd be easy to work with."

"I know you worked for Jeanine." Cara reaches for her drink, and her words are very clear. "I have no interest in the same…arrangement. But, if you wind up selecting me, I'd be more than happy to help you however I could. Your father spoke very highly of you." She pauses and finds my stare. "Both you and Everly."

"I see."

It's the first time she's said her name, and it hangs in the air between us. I finally see her, really see her, and realize this will be fine. She's young enough to be impressionable, yet ambitious enough that she'd be willing to take direction if it meant benefiting her faction.

"Will you bring her? Next time?"

She asks nosily, but also not nosily. Like she'd really like to get to know her, even though she has absolutely no reason to.

I wait before I nod, silently confirming there will be a next time.

Cara is smart, and I find myself applauding my own intelligence at how this is turning out.

 

 

Everly's text message arrives on our walk back from lunch.

I read it quickly, her panic loud and clear, and it's followed by Jason's. He includes several tiny skulls, an X, and a knife after he confirms Jeremy's status has been changed to missing in the census database. His message explains Everly's panic that Jeremy is lurking somewhere in the depths of Dauntless, so I tell her not to worry.

I also tell her not to leave or make dinner.

I reassure her I'll be home early, then I shove my phone in my pocket, and return to a cold, marbled conference room.

 

 

Upon my return, I find Ashley in the hallway.

Standing.

Waiting.

Watching.

She has no real reason to be here, yet here she is. While not unusual for her, today her gaze is sharp and cold. She crosses her arms over her chest, visibly annoyed at my presence. Were I anyone else, I'd find a speck of guilt for what had happened. For the fact that I'd violently shoved her into the wall, ready to kill her for what she'd said to me. For ignoring her email, a stupidly bold move on her part meant to try to lure me back to her, even if it was just to find out what would happen to Erudite. For not bothering to care at all about how she felt, because no matter how bitchy or conniving she was, I knew she wasn't happy.

But I am.

That's what leaves her reeling, still attempting to figure out what was different. Why she no longer could hold my attention the way she thought she once did. Why I wasn't so willing to let her have her way, accepting whatever menial attention I threw at her.

She knew Everly had everything she wanted, and it was real.

I feel it now, catching sight of Ashley's dark blue skirt, her too high heels, her unbuttoned blouse. The sharp jacket. The sharper nails.

None of that had ever made me happy, and it never would.

What I felt for Everly was something I'd never imagined possible, but there it was. Blinding and bright, the feeling that I was a part of something bigger than all this. More than my life of rules and order. More than the scowl that so frequently appeared on my face to express my constant state of exasperation. More than myself.

I had something no one else did, and I wasn't going to be swayed by someone who's own lust for power had rivaled my own.

I stalk past her without blinking, focused only on how to end this parade of intelligence so I can go home. To my wife, who would be warm and probably asleep, buried beneath my sheets. Waiting for me to return to her, more than happy to see me.

I ignore the hot, angry rush of frustration from Ashley. The spiteful sneer when I pause to open the door, her gaze burning my back. The desperate and silent plea for me to simply turn the fuck around and just look at her.

I ignore all of it.

I focus on a lone Andrew Prior, sitting there, patiently waiting for the meeting to resume. He smiles at me, hesitantly, but not entirely forced. I sink down into the chair beside him, and I smile back. Not entirely forced, but not entirely pleasant.

"We have a few things to discuss, don't we?"

He nods his head, and I spend the next few minutes listening to him speak, filling me in on exactly what I need to know.

 

 

We return to Dauntless long after the sun has gone down. Visiting Erudite had eaten up almost my entire day, stretching well into the night. I had texted Everly that I would be home late, and her response was understanding. To my dismay, it was announced we'd have dinner as a group, and I had no choice but to join. It wasn't entirely a waste of time. While eating, we discussed who each of us thought the ideal candidate was. I was thrown off by some of their answers, but relieved that I wasn't the only one who felt Cara should accept the title. There was a sense of accomplishment in this, especially when the decision was nearly unanimous.

We left in the same group.

I was annoyed at how late it was, but I couldn't change that now. The candidates filed out with us; Erudite was deserted, most having gone home for the evening, and the dark sky seemed darker than normal.

Cara had looked at me expectantly, perhaps thinking I'd nod in her direction to give her the job on the spot, but I didn't. Not yet. This discussion would continue in a day or so, but not now. I bid them all a short goodbye, heading toward the truck we'd taken here, and I don't look back. I wait while Max says goodbye to Jack, and seconds later, he joins me.

Our drive home was quiet.

For the first few minutes, I listened to him talk about his plans for the weekend. I tuned him out, only paying attention when he brought up the Leadership Dinner again. He was oddly excited for it, and I rolled my eyes at the thought of an evening stuck in a room filled with all the other Leaders. I spent the next half of the drive home replying to Rylan's text messages. Despite his lack of interest in who was awarded the position, he was awfully concerned about it.

Eventually, he asked me how Cara was, and I forgot to reply. I drive through the gates, catching a glimpse of Peter, looking extremely impatient and put out as he waves us through. I pay no attention to him. I drive around to park, and Max asks me one more fucking time if I'm sure Everly and I will be at the Leadership Dinner.

I eye him while I answer yes, and I silently swear that he better not seat me next to anyone I hate, or I will kill him.

 

 

My suspicions are correct.

I find Everly at home, fast asleep.

It would have been foolish of me to expect her to be awake. It was late; both cold and dark, and there was no way she'd manage to stay up. I walk into my bedroom to see her deep beneath the covers, and I decide after this long day, after being away from her for hours, and after Max asking me twice, this was the perfect time to invite Everly to the Leadership Dinner.

I don't hate the idea completely.

Sure, I thought the event was stupid. Leaders from each faction, crowded in a room, pretending they got along with one another. It was more of a chance to level the playing field. Everyone wanted to know what everyone else was doing. Even if they were pretending to selflessly exist, or they were day dreaming of dandelions, they were human. Which meant they were curious, and the best cure for that was casually observing your fellow leaders while eating a fancy meal.

It also meant that, for the second time, Everly would be there with me. She'd be there officially as my wife, but she was officially my wife the last time, too. She just didn't know it. Her name plate had read Everly Coulter, but she'd had no clue how accurate that was.

This time would be different.

She'd be coming along as a future leader, as well as Everly Coulter. There was an importance to her, one she had no clue even existed, but she would.

I'd make sure of it.

I think about this thought, liking the way it feels in my mind, as I climb onto my bed. I push the comforter off her, and I'm right. She's warm and half asleep, her eyes only opening when my fingers touch her hipbone. I slide them across the top of my own boxers she has on, then beneath the waistband of her underwear.

She blinks.

I hover over her, my knees placed on each side of her, and my fingers against her skin. Her eyes finally open wider, realizing what I'm doing. Everly pushes herself up halfway, when my fingers skim down lower before returning to her hip bone. When I meet her stare, she's looking up at me, and her eyes are dark.

"Hi, Everly."

"Eric!" She blurts out my name when I hit a particularly sensitive spot, squirming uselessly. "What are you doing? When did you get home?"

"A little bit ago. You looked a little lonely in here." My words are dragged out purposely. I curl my fingers around her skin, spurred on by the mere sight of her. "Did I wake you?"

I shift my weight forward until I'm covering her. I don't bother to wait for her reply. I drop my head down to her neck, and my mouth finds warm skin beneath her hair. I kiss her slowly, enjoying everything. The way she smells. The saltiness of her. The way she reacts.

Her response is immediate and always pleasing. She reaches up until her hand finds the back of my hair. She digs her fingers in, pressing me closer. Urging me on. Always wanting me as close as possible.

That thought alone is intoxicating.

"Everly." I say her name against her skin, my lips pressing the word right into her. "I need to ask you something."

"Yes?" She answers, clearly not all that interested. Her yes is followed by a giggle, as I kiss my way down her neck. I linger there, feeling her inhale sharply.

"Come to the Leadership Dinner with me. Next Saturday." I catch a mere flash of her green eyes before I kiss her. It's rougher than I planned and admitting to myself that I planned to kiss her is embarrassing. But I don't care. I press my lips firmly against hers, then I break away to look at her.

"Leadership Dinner?"

Her gaze is a million miles away. Combined with her flushed skin and her fingers pulling me back to her, I can tell it's the last thing she's thinking of.

I smirk at her thinking this was going somewhere else. " Yes. You can come as my date."

Her scowl at my teasing is immediate. It's cute; her expression darkens, and her lips turn downward as she pretends to be mad. "What would you do if I said no?"

Her threat is also cute. I let my head drop down, and my nose touches hers briefly. "I'd have to hope Four looks good in a dress."

"That's not funny," She tries to sound tough, but she's smiling. Doing her best not to laugh at that idea. She then tilts her head, pretending to think about my offer for a moment. After a dramatic pause, in which I decide if she really doesn't want to go, then neither will I, she nods her head. "Fine. I'll go with you."

"Good." My lips touch hers again, and they are softer than I remember. "I'll make dinner for you tomorrow." I promise, mumbling against her lips. I pull back when she struggles to sit up, and her gaze is directly on mine. "Sorry about tonight."

She smiles happily at me. My words are sincere, only for her, and she knows this.

"It's alright. Why were you gone all day?" Her fingers stay on my skin, urging me to sink back against her. I know she's doing her best to appear like she was fine with this, but I also know she missed me. I'm not blind. Her legs are currently wrapping themselves around mine, and her free hand slides up to touch my chest.

I shrug, wishing I had been doing something more exciting than being in Erudite. "I sat in on three of their meetings, and I listened to five people argue about which traits they deem necessary that their new leader possess. It was a long, aggravating day."

Everly nods, right as my mouth finds hers again. I kiss her for a long time; my free hand finds her hair, tilting her head up toward me. She is warm and soft and all that is good in my life, and I decide I will remedy this stupid day with her. "God, I missed you."

I say the words against her lips and she pulls me closer.

Eventually, I kick the comforter back and away. The sheet follows. I pull the tank top off her. My t-shirt. Both pairs of my boxers.

Eventually, she's beneath me, one leg hitched back and held in place with my hand, the other tangled with my own. She says my name as a sigh, each time warmer and softer. My free hand moves to find hers, tangling our fingers together to hold onto her. I stare down at her, her eyes half way closed, lips parted, cheeks red and I realize one major difference I'd over looked. I'd missed it all those times before, but now, it's clear as day.

I was home.

This was what coming home felt like.

It's Everly, her small frame covered by mine, her feet pressing against my calves and her fingers digging into my hair. It's her, in my bed, where she'd been from the start.

It's her gasping my name as the world fades away, and myself following suit right along with her.

 

 

The Leadership Dinner might be more annoying than trying to find Evelyn.

It comes at a time when some might find it necessary. What our factions needed. The atmosphere through each faction had been dark and tense. First, a kidnapping of not just a member of Dauntless, but my wife. Then, a high security alert to look for Everly, flashed up until her death was announced. Then, another high security alert, announcing Evelyn was a wanted criminal. To make sure everyone was careful and smart, aware of their surroundings at all times. It left the factions on edge, but for good reason. We all had a threat hanging over our heads, and this dinner could be the break we all needed.

Not me.

I didn't need it.

I'd prefer to find Evelyn and murder her in front of Four, just to really drive my point home.

But instead I found myself getting measured, once again, by Christian. While Rylan watched, mouthing words I couldn't make out and lounging precariously on the oversized dressing room bench.

"Are you almost done?" I bark when Christian measures the length of my pants again, and Rylan snickers. He raises his eyebrows at me, and this time, he half whispers, half mimes what appears to be an explosion. Or some kind of nocturnal creature. I can't tell.

"Eric, have you been working out more than usual? You seem…bigger than the last time I saw you." Christian's voice is cheerful, and I glare down at him while he fumbles with the tape measure. "For real. We may need to adjust your uniforms, too."

"Bigger. Yeah, Eric is much bigger lately." Rylan calls out, and his voice cracks as he tries his hardest not to laugh. "He's been hitting the gym with his buddy Four. I think they're doing this program designed to get beach body ready."

"Beach body? You don't say. Do we even have a beach?" Christian answers, not really listening. I glare at Rylan over Christian's head, something dark and murderous. "Well, it's been working, whatever it is."

"I haven't been doing anything."

My answer is flat, because not only does Rylan look like he's about to explode, but because I hadn't been doing much of anything. I'd spent a lot of time in bed with Everly, and a lot of time looking at Four's sad little expressions when he stared at Harrison's maps.

This was my life now.

I was still as fit as ever but heading down to the gym had become my last priority.

"It must be all those vegan muffins you had. Your body is now an optimal, fuel burning machine." Rylan gasps, and his face is bright red. "I told you the benefits were endless."

He wheezes the last part, so amused he can hardly contain himself.

"You're vegan?" Christian asks. "Wow. Who would have thought?"

"Yeah," I answer through gritted teeth. "Who would have thought."

"Okay, I can have this ready by the end of today. Now," Christian pauses to rise, shoving his oversized glasses up his face. "When is Everly coming by? Her dress might take me longer. I'll need new measurements for her, too."

"She's not." I answer, reaching for my jacket I'd taken off. Rylan looks at me in horror, as though he too had assumed she'd be heading down here.

"Why on Earth is she not? Doesn't she need a dress? What could she possibly be wearing?" Christian questions me rapid fire, blinking furiously. "Are you serious right now? Eric, don't do this to me. What will the other factions think? Our reputation is on the line here."

"Our. Our reputation." Rylan mouths at me, and I decide I'm never speaking to him again.

"She doesn't have time." I declare, not knowing at all if that were true. "I'm sure she'll go to the shops with her friends. The smarter of the two likes shopping, so she'll probably take her."

"You mean Christina," Rylan winks at me. "I got you. She'll take her. There's nothing she likes more than playing human Barbie doll."

"The shops?" Christian stares at me like I've suggested Everly show up in her training uniform. "You're…you're just sending her to pick out something… off the rack?!"

"Don't you design all the clothes here?" I squint at the tiny man in front of me, forcing myself to not drop kick him across the room. "I'm sure she can find something to wear in the mass amounts of clothing you produce."

"Ugh." Christian sort of hisses at me, retreating back a step and clutching a tablet to his chest.

"I mean, yes, I did design those dresses. But not for her. Not knowing she'd be going to this ball…"

"It's a dinner." I remind him. "She went to dinner in Erudite and guess what? She wore a dress and a sweater. It was great."

"It was not great." Rylan disagrees from across the room, and I hate him all over again. "Everyone hated her."

"Eric." Christian flounders, looking at me more disappointed than anyone in my entire life ever has. "She wore what? A sweater? We finally get someone in here who doesn't dress like a futuristic preteen emo child bride, and you had her wear a sweater."

"It didn't even fit her." I smirk. "It fell off her shoulders every time she took a step. And I'm pretty sure she bought the dress when she first got here, so that didn't fit her, either."

"Are you trying to hurt me? Did I do something to you to deserve this? Did I make your pants too short?" Christian asks, and Rylan bounces over to us.

"If it makes you feel better, the dinner probably sucked because of Everly's offensive outfit." He cheerfully interjects. "Maybe you should have Christian make her something. Just think about it."

I decide he's about to be joining Karl.

"No."

I step down off the platform, fully done with this. I take off, and I make it to the front of the store before I realize I've forgotten my phone. I sigh in exasperation, stalking back through the store to find Christian and Rylan standing there, patiently waiting for me.

"I knew you'd change your mind," Christian grins.

I grab my phone off the bench, and I storm away without answering him.

It wasn't that I didn't want him making something for Everly. Or that I wanted her showing up in something hideous and ill fitting. Or that she didn't deserve to have him whip up the dress of her dreams.

It was once she realized Christian would make her whatever her heart desired –an endless supply of sundresses that didn't stay on, or toddler sized nightgowns that I'd be stuck watching her flit around my apartment in, I'd be fucked. I'd spend my days unable to do anything but stare at her shoulders, or her bare legs, and I'd be one hundred percent screwed. She'd forget about the uniforms I should be encouraging her to wear, in favor of the softest skirts and slipperiest shirts, and I'd have everyone looking at her.

I decide I'll give her my card, and I'll cross my fingers she'll never meet Christian.

 

 

A day later, I do exactly that.

I give her my card.

She's quite the sight considering she just woke up, but I want her to take it before I head into work. Since she'd agreed to come along as my date to this dinner, she'd need to wear something other than a sundress. Other than what she wore last year, and something that announced who she was.

Since I'd rather sacrifice myself to Arlene than partake in finding such a dress, I'd told Rylan to tell Christina she would go with her. He told me she responded immediately, in all caps, which was expected.

"Don't I have a card?" Everly takes the card from me slowly, a confused look spreading across her face. "I got one but…"

She pauses, and I know full well she doesn't know where it is. Or the last time she'd used it.

"It was cancelled a while back with your other cards. Back when you were…" I stop, hating to announce that while I thought she was dead, someone in accounting decided it would be a great time to remind me that per protocol, all deceased member's accounts were made inactive. "Just…take mine. Buy whatever you want. Christina said she'll go with you."

"Okay." She answers, and the look on her face tells me she knows what I was avoiding saying.

I'm right.

"You can say it, you know." She informs me, stepping closer. Her feet are bare, and my shirt that she's wearing hangs off her shoulder. The neckline on this one was stretched out. Jason had grabbed the collar in a fit of anger while we had gotten in an argument years ago, but I'd held onto it for some reason. Never in a million years did I think it would be so Everly could sleep in it.

"Say what?" I answer crankily, refusing to remember a time when she was presumed to be dead. "You were gone. They turned all the cards off."

"Eric, I'm very much alive." Everly reminds me, and her smile is just as sweet as her words. "You don't have to pretend it didn't happen. Being taken by Evelyn."

I stare at her, and she rises up on her toes.

"Everly…"

"Thank you for your card. I'm sure Christina will find something that's perfect for the dinner."

"God, maybe I should go with you." I groan, suddenly afraid of what she was going to buy. Her clothes were by no means awful, but she couldn't seem to figure out what season it was, or that they made clothes in a size that fit her. "Your dress last year was fine. Just…something nice. It's a formal dinner. Probably more formal than last years."

"I'm on it. One slightly more formal dress that Christina won't like." Everly grins, and she kisses me quickly. I immediately grasp a handful of her hair, and I want to hold onto her for longer. "I'll see you tonight."

"Tonight." I repeat, kissing her one more time. I eventually let go of her, and she lets go of me with one final look. "I'll see you then."

I leave her in my kitchen, clutching both my card and a coffee mug. I look back at her to make sure she's really there, and she is. It seems like forever ago that I would leave without a second thought, never so much as entertaining the idea that Everly would still be here.

But she is.

Watching me leave with her smile bright as ever.

 

 

"How's the shopping expedition?" Rylan asks, propping his feet up on the chair next to him.

We'd been sitting in the conference room for a good half hour now. Quinten had brought up a catered breakfast, something he never did, which left me suspicious to eat it. But I was hungry, and I'd watched Jason down two pancakes without dying, so I decided to join in.

"Beats me. I just told her to buy whatever she wanted." I take a bite of the eggs in front of me, pleasantly surprised. "Why did Quinten bring this up here? Why is it so much fancier than what he normally makes? Last week, he served spaghettios for three days straight."

"He said he's practicing." Jason answers, then immediately clamps his mouth shut. He looks at Rylan, then at me. "For…getting better. Because he's awful…at cooking. I should know. I spent a week with him."

"Yeah he is," I agree without a second thought. I take another bite, and swallow down what might be the best thing he's ever made. "What is he practicing for?"

"Beats me." Rylan answers, smiling at his phone. He looks disgustingly happy, and Jason and I both silently watch him as he types for a very long time. He looks up and raises an eyebrow at us. "What? What are you two staring at?"

"You." Jason answers mockingly. "Is that…your girlfriend that you're messaging so frantically?"

"Do we really need titles around here?" Rylan types back quickly, his fingers tapping at the screen. He sets it down to reveal a block of black hearts beneath a picture of him and Christina. "Other than Eric. He likes titles. And the archaic institution of marriage."

I glare at him out of the corner of my eye. "She won't give in, will she?"

"Nope." Rylan answers back, still as cheerful as ever. "She doesn't like the idea of being tied down. But that's okay. Eventually, she'll change her mind. And I'll be here waiting. Or not."

Jason meets my stare, shrugging. I'd had dinner with Rylan the night before. I'd listened to him talk about Christina very sneakily. He mentioned her here and there, bringing her up in between other topics. If you listened hard enough, it was easy to see they were happy together. And apart. They both liked their freedom and neither was willing to give that up so easily.

"Great." Jason answers, and his attention is elsewhere. "Anyone hear anything new about Jeremy? I overheard someone saying they thought they saw him near Candor, but no one could confirm that rumor."

"Nah," I take a long drink of my coffee. "Nothing. We've run all the security tapes a few times now. Peter would be the first one to run in with that information and they haven't seen shit."

"I have to go." Rylan stands up, shoving his mostly full plate away. "I'm meeting Christina for lunch."

"It's nine in the morning." I point out, but he's undeterred.

"I gotta get ready. I'll see you later."

"Well that's strange." Jason watches him bounce out of the room, and he shakes his head at me. "Are you working the rest of the day?"

"No. Just a few more hours. I'm cleaning out some old files I found. I wanted to get rid of them before someone else finds them."

"Good plan." Jason nods, and the two of us resume eating.

 

 

It was a good plan.

The files in my desk were definite proof of my work. Proof of an Eric with a different agenda, one who could potentially still be charged if those files ever got out. I'd been smart while I worked on them; I chose to keep everything on paper, printing it out and deleting it from existence so it couldn't be found. But I didn't feel so smart now. My life's work was sitting there, ready to be plucked out of the drawer and opened up.

I had no choice but to get rid of them.

It feels sort of symbolic in a way, the thought of disposing of the papers just as I had disposed of the woman who'd encouraged them.

I don't give it much thought now. I finish my breakfast, wondering when on Earth Quinten had learned to cook.

I return home with the papers in hand.

I sink down onto my couch, my intent purely to flip through the pages and make sure I had everything that I wanted to destroy. I knew exactly what I was looking at, exactly what should be there, and I knew this shouldn't take me long.

Instead, I find myself reading them page by page.

They are aggressive, even by my standards, and my signature is on all of them. At the time, I approved of what Jeanine was doing. I liked the power and control behind them, the authority to drag someone in simply because their results weren't ideal or perfect, and the sheer high of knowing I was on top. I had everything I could dream of, cleanly spelled out in a contract between Jeanine and me.

Now, the black ink seems appropriately dark. It's printed on page after page of testing results, page after page of percentages and other red flags. Notes from Jeanine. Emails. Memos. A notice to pay attention to something she was looking for in Abnegation.

A page with Everly's name on it.

That one sits near the top of the pile.

Her name is on several reports; once as Everly Carlen, and a few times as Everly Coulter. The latter ones were attempts from Ashley to push Everly's name to the top, making her the next victim of Jeanine's work. Her hope hinged on Everly being called in, perhaps tested and eventually killed when she failed, all for a measly three percent.

I flip through these slowly.

Her name, again.

My name.

It's mixed in with other reports that now mean nothing. Uses for the serums. Other uses for the serums, some as side effects, some as a main factor. A plan of attack on the factions if they didn't cooperate at a certain point. A list of those who held important positions in each faction, broken down by those directly beneath them.

A waste of my life.

All those hours spent, days working my life away for someone else. Months, when I'd focused only on what Jeanine wanted, shorting myself on my own existence. Only now can I see this, but back then, it was just another day at work.

I'm lost in this mental torture when I realize she's home. Everly Coulter is standing right in front of me, with her gaze focused on the table. If she were to come closer, she'd get an eyeful of my life before her. It's dark and exposing, and not what I'd love for her to be staring at.

But she is.

Of course she is.

She walks closer, coming to an immediate stop when she reads the paper on top. A neat little game plan that involved total domination over all the factions. My active role in this plan. My agenda, to bring this plan into fruition.

She reaches down to flip the page over, her eyes skating over the plans.

I'd never acted on them.

I wondered if I would have, had things been different. Her fingers curl on the page as she raises it up, no doubt realizing who she's married.

"Everly." I say her name darkly, wishing I'd tossed them before she got back. She's got a funny look on her face but finding out that I could have been the one leading soldiers through each faction to destroy them is not what she was expecting to find. I reach up for her blindly, grasping her by her elbow. "Everly, they're not anything current. I found them in my office. I'd forgotten I left them in there."

I pause, and my stare finds the Erudite logo, stamped on the top. "They were Jeanine's. I never went through with them."

She nods. She stays frozen in place, still looking at them. If only she knew that at one point, I'd have appreciated such plans. Admired Jeanine's desire for control and order. Found myself soothed by the thought of a society where everything clicked perfectly, and everyone knew their place.

Things had changed when I met her. The rigid, totalitarian ideals no longer seemed appropriate. Losing Everly to a system I was single handedly enforcing wasn't something I could let happen. I'd let go just as quickly as I'd signed on, fully accepting the consequences of what could happen. It had turned out for the best, but it feels dirty now. A dark past, ripped back up and laid out in front of me, and now, her.

She looks at me and bites her lip. "I know."

Her apprehension is completely understandable. I knew better than anyone that Four's warning to her came with weight behind it, and this was why. It didn't matter how different things were now. It was still there, in black and white.

I let go of her arm, leaning forward and resting my elbows on my knees. She's staring at a page with a detailed attack on her former faction, and I sigh when she sets the paper down.

"Why do you have them?" She walks past me, then sinks onto the couch beside me. She curls her legs beneath her, and she's as close as ever. I'd half expected her to back away, perhaps finding Four to tell him he was right. If he wanted proof of what I was capable of, here it was.

"I was cleaning out my office. I found them shoved in one of the drawers. I didn't want to dispose of them there." I look right at her, and she looks right at me. In an odd moment, she nods her head, as though this was something completely normal.

"Do you want me to throw them away?" She asks, smiling at me.

I raise my eyebrow at her, slightly taken back.

I was expecting her to launch into a million questions. Was this why I'd married her without telling her? Was this the reason I'd spoken about, the unspoken horror I'd hinted at when I said I would protect her? Was this why it was imperative she stay with me, rather than wind up out in the faction on her own?

It was.

All of it.

"You can burn them." I announce. I lean back against the couch, putting my hands behind my head. She shifts slightly, her knees grazing my thigh. "I didn't mean for you to see them. I was reading them over and thinking what a waste of my time that all was."

She stares at me.

Her eyes are glued to me, green and bright, as she thinks about something. She's never once pressed for an explanation of the rumors I'm sure she's heard, and I'm grateful for that. Now more than ever.

When I look over at her, she's lost in thought, her stare a million miles away. She looks lovely in the warm lighting, and it wouldn't take much for me to reach over and yank her against me. I felt like in this swirl of chaos, both self-inflicted and not, I was often too distant. I had long lived in my head; it was familiar and easy to sit and internalize the things I dealt with. It would be unfair to dump them on Everly. She'd never asked to be involved in any of this, and I didn't want her to.

Which was why I'd barely seen her. Why her assignment had changed to working with Four. It kept her busy, I knew where she was, and she was out of this storm of Evelyn that ate up all my time. I'm sure she felt it, this shift of distraction. But she'd been quiet herself, busied by training the class, and slipping into bed with me the second I hinted I was tired.

"Did you find a dress?" I ask, changing the subject. The papers in front of me are still there, and they will be until I get rid of them.

Everly nods her head, and her eyes widen in delight. "Do you want to see it?"

I smirk in response. I hadn't seen her walk in with it, but maybe I'd missed it.

"You can surprise me. Is it pink?" I tease, trying to figure out what she'd picked. I'd seen the charge on my card, the alert popping up to ensure that I, Eric Coulter, was making such a purchase. But now, I was wondering what it looked like. I was envisioning the worst, something tight and sparkly and undeniably pink.

"I guess you'll find out." Everly teases right back, moving closer to me. A second later, she's on my lap, sitting down so her back is against my chest. I reach for her without thinking. I bring my legs up, adjusting her so she's closer, and I pull the ends of her hair, twirling them around my fingers. She leans back further, sighing happily once she's comfortable.

"Just as long as it looks better on you than Four…"

She laughs, and after the last hour, the sound is very pleasant.

"Why didn't Four want to be a leader again?" Everly asks, both curious and intrigued. I want to laugh at her question, for he'd been offered the job a few times, but he'd always refused with some elaborate reasoning. I'm sure he found it beneath him; our ideals too harsh for his fragile soul, and our guidelines nothing he wanted to enforce.

I refrain some saying this out loud, though. I had him to thank for Andrew talking with me, and I suppose that earned him a few points.

"He didn't appreciate some of the ideas that were being encouraged. We were integrating some things that he didn't believe in. So, he chose another position," I answer as indifferently as possible. Everly tilts her head to the side while she contemplates my answer, and her fingers find my free hand. She pulls it up, and I hold it in place while she examines my fingers one at a time. Her hand is much smaller than mine, but her skin is just as pale.

"It would have been very different if Four had been a leader. He might have been my trainer." She sounds like she's trying to be funny. I roll my eyes even though she can't see me, relieved that she's forgotten about the papers on the table, and even more relieved that this little scenario didn't happen. While I don't think she ever would have wound up as Mrs. Four, the idea of him trying to keep everyone away from her would have been comical.

Luckily for me, she'd been mine since the day she arrived here. She still was. She would be, forever. I bend my fingers in, covering hers until they can slide between hers.

"I can only imagine the excitement you two would have had." I dryly retort.

She snorts in response, and I tighten my grip on her hand. Sure, it could have happened.

A lot of things could have happened.

It appears that now, the best thing for all of us is to focus on the ones that did happen.

"He said he misses you. Especially working with you." Everly throws out, and I knock my knee into hers.

"Oh, did he?" I mutter. I pull her back against my chest, enjoying the weight of her against me. "He just can't get enough of our lunches together. I get it. It's probably the most enjoyable time he's had in a while."

She giggles this time, and I press my nose into her hair.

"When you see him next, you can tell him…" I pause, and Everly waits patiently.

"Tell him what?"

"Tell him I said, fuck off Four."

She laughs again, but little does she know, I'm completely serious.

 

 

Rylan's text comes just as I climb into bed.

I read it quickly, scowling when I read that the girl in the boutique gave Everly a hard time about whose card she used. Rylan goes on, stating that even Christina thought it was rude, and I simply tell him thanks.

I glance over at Everly, already in bed and half asleep, and I decide I'll deal with this myself.

 

 

A day later, I follow through with my idea to burn the pages.

She accompanies me up to the rooftop with the stack of white papers clutched tightly in her hands. She'd looked surprised when I asked if she wanted to come with me, and I had been dead serious when I told her to burn them. Throwing them away wasn't enough, and neither was dumping them in the river. Shredding them. Giving them to Jason for his recycling program.

This was the only permanent option.

Sometime after the sun had set and the sky was clear, she and I had taken the stairs, ascending quickly, until the darkness burst into view. To my relief, the rooftop was empty and quiet, and this would give me the privacy I was hoping for. The last thing I wanted was someone wandering over, trying to catch a glimpse at what I was doing.

Everly followed me over to the large, empty bin that had been used to light a fire during the New Year's Party. I pick the biggest one with the most tinder remaining in it, and I hold out my hands at Everly.

"Are you ready?"

She nods her head, standing close to me. She's quiet while she hands me the first two pages; one is a cover sheet with the Erudite logo on it and the next is a list of all those who scored less than ten percent divergence.

Her name is on that one.

I light that page on fire first, then drop it into the bin. The flames are an immediate burst, hot and bright as it greedily sucks up the paper into nothingness.

"Here." Everly hands me a few more, stepping closer to me.

She and I were both dressed casually. Her leggings and jacket probably weren't warm enough for the chilly night, but the fire gave off enough heat that she wouldn't freeze. She watches carefully as the pages burn, and I nudge her arm.

"Your turn."

She looks up at me, the pages in her hands containing the plans to attack Amity, and she nods. She carefully tosses them in, smiling when the fire catches on the corners. The paper curls in, and the ink bleeds together, useless plans becoming truly useless. I feel marginally better at the sight of my past disintegrating before me.

"Did you ever think you'd do it?" Everly asks.

"Do what? Follow through with any of this?" I look over at her, and her face is lit up by the firelight. I hold her stare, unable to look away. "Yes." I nod my head. "I would have done what she asked. What I was assigned to do. What I believed was right. I wouldn't have had an option, either. If her plans had reached that point, I would have been expected to complete them. If not me, it would have fallen to someone else. If she stayed alive, this would have been what happened."

Everly tosses the last page in, thinking about my words. "But you stopped her. You were the one to end it all."

"I was." I answer, watching the thick stack of papers vanish before me. "But depending on how you look at it, I'm just as guilty as she was."

"Not anymore." Everly shakes her head, and I feel a sudden hot rush of affection for her. "You aren't…you haven't been that Eric ever. Not even when I met you."

Her words are picked up by a slow, lazy gust of wind. It carries a few embers into the air, not far, but just enough that they spark then die as they drift to the floor. I try to think if I was, or if the sudden appearance of one, tiny little Amity was truly the cause of such an upheaval in my life.

"Things are certainly different now." I raise my eyebrow at her, and she smiles back in response.

Sometimes, I think she knew.

I think she knew all along how I felt about her. She might have second guessed a few things, maybe how invested I truly was, or maybe if I'd really keep her safe. But I get the impression that Everly had never wavered in her own feelings for me, and she knew she was the reason my entire life had shifted.

I wonder if she feels it, this power she has, swirling all around her.

"I'm glad. I'd have hated to have married someone who would have told me what they were doing." Her smile is easy as she reaches for my hand. Her fingers automatically slide between my own, never satisfied unless my palm was pressed against hers. "Or you know, someone who wouldn't look out for me."

I reach for her.

I turn to face her, my free hand finding her face, and her skin is golden. She doesn't break her stare, nor does she do anything but stand there. I let my thumb trace over her cheekbone, before my fingers dip into her hair.

"I can't imagine I'd have liked that, either."

My answer is honest and clear.

I bend my head down, kissing her lips firmly. Hers are full and soft, warmed from burning my past.

I kiss her until the fire dies down. Until the air around us is cold, and until the only thing left to do is take her home.

 

 

Rylan and I head to the market in the morning.

I only agreed to go with him because it beat sitting at my desk, listening to Harrison talk about a show about dragons. He'd shown up early, really early, and hadn't stopped talking since he got here. I couldn't quite place what he was talking about, but he became rather enthused the longer he spoke, and when he started speaking with an odd, strange accent, I nearly punched him. I told him I'd see him later, to keep an out for Everly, and he nodded solemnly.

"Will do, for there must always be a Coulter in Dauntless."

His response was grave, as though he were implying that if something were to happen, Everly would be who the faction turned to to save them. I stared at him, he stared back, and I left with both my eyebrows raised.

They're still raised now, as Rylan holds up a large oil painting, of what appears to be someone's cat on a chaise lounge. Wearing a tuxedo.

"No." I announce, shaking my head furiously. Not only was it ugly and no one even had a cat for a pet, but I wasn't about to help him lug it back to Dauntless.

"It's art, Eric." Rylan retorts, returning his stare to the painting. "You'd think you'd recognize it when you see it, you uncultured swine."

"Oh, I see something alright." I comment, avoiding the disdainful glare from the seller. I leave Rylan standing there, contemplating such a prize, and I wander down the rows. For once, there is nothing I need here. I have enough furniture, enough clothes and boots, enough DVDs to last Everly a lifetime. Shelves of books. A couch. Another couch.

I do stop by where Stephan is. He waves from his spot, deep in discussion with someone from Candor over the value of some wooden shelf. I don't pay attention to that. I'm more focused on the same section where I found the wedding rings. They're gone, but in their place is a rack of necklaces.

I squint at them.

They've only caught my eye because they are expensive looking. They shine in the sunlight, and one in particular twirls to face me. I realize it's the letter E, in cursive, and it's very delicate looking.

"Eric! Hey!"

Stephan appears by my side, having finished talking with his customers. He stands next to me, pointing at the necklaces with great enthusiasm.

"You have a wife, right? Is she in the market for something like that?"

I turn to look at him, still surprised that he never seemed afraid to try to sell me something. I liked the wedding rings I'd bought, but that didn't mean I was dying to make another purchase. I bite back the urge to tell him I'm just killing time, but I do like the one with an E on it. In fact, I decide it would look better if it had both an E and a C. I could see Everly wearing that, and maybe only that.

Her and my initials.

"Do you have any more? I would need one with two letters." I throw out, figuring I might as well ask. I have nothing better to do.

Unfortunately, Stephan shakes his head no.

"I don't. They're all single letters. But," he pauses, and his face lights up. "Give me an hour. I can make it for you."

"You made them?" I raise my eyebrow, not entirely surprised. "Alright, I'll wait. If you can make it."

"I can." He looks delighted now, and he looks at his watch. "You'll love it. Head back in an hour. What letters do you want on there?"

I find myself smirking, imagining what this will look like on Everly. On one hand, it'll be her own name, but on the other, it's mine.

There's no doubt people won't miss that.

"I need an E and a C." I answer and he nods.

"I got ya, man."

With that, he's off. He disappears back into his display, and I disappear back to find Rylan. He waves furiously from a section of large, ornate carpets, and I close my eyes thinking of him trying to shove one into the truck.

An hour later, I find Stephan. He proudly shows me his work, and I have to admit, it exceeds what I expected. Sure, it's simply our initials, neatly intertwined. But it's both tiny and bold, just enough to grab your attention. Just like Everly.

I pay Stephan whatever price he asks, not really caring how much it costs. I figure just like no one has ever given Everly a wedding ring, no one has ever given her a necklace either. I gratefully accept the fancy packaging, find Rylan, and we head out.

Me, with a neatly wrapped up gift for Everly for our anniversary.

And Rylan, with an oversized painting that hinted he'd be single forever.

 

 

A day later, Harrison comes up with the brilliant idea that we should have a monthly factional meeting. I'd stared at him while he spoke, not entirely hating the idea, but not loving it, either. The numbers for our faction were huge, and often, our members worked on rotating schedules. Getting everyone together wouldn't be easy, but it would be a quick way to get the information out. He quickly countered all arguments that we could broadcast it to the members unable to attend, and it should be led by Max and me.

I'd stared at him, shrugging.

I had no issues making any announcements, but I did take great offense at being asked to do it on a Saturday.

"Really? On my day off?"

I'd dryly responded to him, watching him shrug right back at me.

"Evil does not take a day off, Eric. Therefore, neither should you." His response was immediate, and because of that declaration, a day later, I found myself standing high above the faction, looking out over our members with an air of utter annoyance. Gathering them together had been easy enough. A mass announcement had gone to their phones, followed by being broadcast all Friday. Now, they were all impatiently waiting, and I shared their impatience. I'd had to get up far earlier than planned, left my wife in bed, and headed out here. Dressed in my uniform, not at all enthused to be spending my Saturday working.

We'd met before to discuss just what should be said. It was hinted we meet again after, starting over the entire process of hunting Evelyn from a fresh perspective, with the focus on what Evelyn had already done. We'd scrapped the idea of utilizing Four, considering she was targeting him now, and were going with a more military based strategy. Harrison still wanted to drive her out of wherever she was, and that meant being smarter than her. Taking a step back from what we'd been doing, trying to see a new angle.

Reminding them that she had struck here, right in their own faction, right underneath our noses.

As much as I dislike the idea of using Everly as that reminder, I understand the necessity of it.

"Are you ready?"

I look up to find Max next to me, a smile stretched across his face. Despite the gravity of this situation, this was what Dauntless was for. Our main purpose. Our job was to protect our city. The factions. Those residing in them. We'd already eliminated one major threat, and compared to Jeanine, this felt minor. Like Evelyn would fall into our hands sooner rather than later if we just stayed one step ahead.

"I am."

I clasp my hands behind my back, watching The Pit fill up until there's nearly no standing space. Below me is a sea of black, with bright eyes glancing upward. Our members fill every single inch they can, pushing each other forward just to gain some space to breathe. I squint down at them, unconsciously trying to find Everly. I knew she would be down there, waiting for the announcements. As reluctant as she was to climb out of bed, these words were important for her to hear as well.

I just couldn't predict how she'd react to being singled out.

"Let's get started then." He looks at me and I nod. He waits a beat, looking out at the crowd before he yells over the noise. "Alright, listen up. We've got a lot to cover and not a lot of time."

Everyone immediately falls quiet. None of them want to be here any longer than they have to, and they seem to understand that the faster they listen, the faster they'll be dismissed.

"I'd like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that Evelyn is still at large. I want you all on high alert. We need to start behaving as though she's already attacked us, because she has. Everly was the first near casualty of Evelyn's grab for power, and we will not have another."

Max speaks loudly, but clearly. I give him credit where credit is due; his voice echoes in the large space, but everyone hears him.

Including those around Everly.

I immediately know where she is, because quite a few heads turn in her direction. Her name is important for a few reasons. There's a lore about her simply existing in Dauntless; coming here, training with me, and being married to me. Then, the flip side of her story. The part where she'd been kidnapped, moments after walking out with her own class, and carried off the compound while our soldiers watched. She'd survived, rising from the dead to return to our faction, and to those who didn't quite know her, she'd never missed a beat.

Even now she doesn't.

Her eyes are on both Max and I, wide and curious, but she's listening. Her gaze is purposely glued to him, missing the looks thrown her way while Max reads off our new security measures. He goes over them quickly, reassuring the faction that these new patrols he's created will have the sole job of finding Evelyn. Nothing more. Nothing less. He goes on to give a brief description of Evelyn along with what her factionless army might look like.

He concludes by announcing there has been no recent sighting of her.

There is silence.

The words, coming from him, spoken high above our members, seem sharp. Heavy. They are meant to drive home the point that our focus has shifted entirely to Evelyn, and it now involves every single member of this faction. It is real and concrete, a face to a villain they've only heard of, with some very personal consequences. I see a few more heads turn toward Everly, eyeing her up and down with both suspicion and guilt. Some of them know her. Some of them would have been in her class, would have trained alongside her, would have celebrated the rankings with her.

Some helped look for her.

Some did not.

Including, her best friend, right next to her.

Four, glancing down at her every so often. His look is nothing rude, simply concern mixed with a heavy dose of guilt, but it's there. As is the look on the girl's face next to her, sort of frowning in Everly's direction as though this were all for her.

I shove past Max.

I stop at the railing, my gaze raking over the members beneath me. Faces I knew. Faces I had known. Faces who'd dared to wonder what I was doing with Everly, and if the rumors had really been true. Faces who'd questioned my marriage, questioned Everly, questioned everything.

Faces that were now turned up to look at me, waiting to hear what I had to say.

"There's one final announcement," I pause, making sure they're all listening. Max waits patiently, and he steps just a bit closer, his hands finding the railing. "Today marks the one year anniversary of my marriage to Everly. Not only is Everly my wife," I stop, making everyone wait. Their stares are right on me, and so is Everly's. I find her green eyes looking up, widening when I speak. "She's going to be one of the leaders of this faction. You're to treat her with the utmost respect."

The entire room is silent once again.

It takes a second to sink in. My announcement comes as an obvious surprise to many. Some gazes drop to the ground, but most turn to find her. She blinks up at me, and I'm pleased at the number around her who look proud, impressed with what she's accomplished.

And those who look downright miserable at my words.

"You're dismissed. You can all go back to your business." I end my announcement quickly, and Max shakes his head.

"Congratulations on your anniversary Eric."

When I look over at him, barely able to hear him over the roar of the pit, he's smiling. A shit eating grin that tells me he fancies himself the one who orchestrated this entire thing, and he's not going to let me forget it.

"I knew I was right having you train her."

"You're right, this was entirely because of you." I roll my eyes, listening to the shrieks below us. "Or should I be thanking Four, for not wanting to train her."

Four.

He had managed not to grimace at the announcement of my anniversary, though I'm sure he was dying on the inside. I had what he didn't; a wife to come home to, one who never seemed to tire of seeing me.

"Maybe you should." Max smirks, and he gestures for us to head downstairs. "You're going to have quite a few who won't be good with the news. You know that, don't you?"

"I do."

I answer him easily, fully prepared for the backlash that could possibly occur. If anyone was smart enough, they'd use my announcement and take the hint to lose interest in what Everly and I were doing. I'd confirmed the only rumor they really cared about: was I really married to Everly. Now that they had their answer, and a direct command to respect her as both my wife and a future leader, we should have no further issues. It also solidified her place here. It gave her clout for being in my program, as well as being my wife.

Max and I head down the hallway together, and he smiles every single time someone looks my way. A few offer up very nervous congratulations, and a few look a bit depressed. Maybe they'd thought they had a chance with her, or maybe they'd thought she'd eventually wise up and move out of my apartment.

The joke was on them. I never had any intention of sharing her with anyone, not since the first night she fell asleep against me. But their stares are there, heavy and telling as we stalk past them.

I smirk at the shocked look on the faces of Karl's friends. A brown-haired kid who looks stunned, a few who shrink away from me. I smile even wider when I see Everly standing with Four, far away from the still lingering crowd. She looks at me, her expression still surprised, but also relieved.

"Nice speech. Very informative." Four announces, and he sounds all too smug considering I could still blame him for everything wrong in this world. Next to him, Everly elbows him sharply, but he smiles for some odd reason. Clearly moved by my speech about my wife, and clearly having something to learn from my marriage. "Congratulations on your anniversary. I'll see you guys later."

"Thanks for walking me out of there," Everly far too graciously bids him farewell, and he waves us all off. He doesn't look back once, he simply disappears into the crowd, presumably off to find Tris and make sure she knew what to look out for. I close the distance between Everly and myself, and I reach for her hand. My fingers slide through hers, tightening immediately.

"Are you ready to go home?" I ask her, and her cheeks darken the slightest. All around us, everyone is staring. The verbal confirmation of who she is was huge, bigger than she could imagine. Everyone was looking at her hand in mine, their minds filled with all kinds of new questions.

Questions they'd never know the answers to.

"Yeah, I'm ready." Everly nods, and her grip tightens on mine.

Next to us, Max grins, stepping right beside me.

"I'll walk with you. We can figure out who's covering the second and third patrols." He cheerfully joins us, and he never stops talking the entire walk home.

 

 

He doesn't stop talking once we arrive at my apartment either.

I can see the frustration on Everly's face plain as day. Whatever she had planned wasn't happening, though if I had to guess, it would probably be a million questions. Maybe a million questions while she sat on my lap, her fingers tugging at my jacket as she did her best to get me to tell her why I'd made such an announcement. Maybe something else that involved taking off my jacket and then some.

But there's no chance for that.

Max chooses a dining table chair and sinks down without being asked. He begins searching for something on his tablet, until the screen is filled up by a large map. I know the area he's focused on, one that the newer routes will pick up, and it will make Peter lose his mind that he's not overseeing this.

Everly watches him with a funny look on her face, and I smile at her. She looks very put out, and not at all interested in planning these routes. She does her best to hide it, slinking off to the kitchen to stare at the cabinets.

"We'll need someone to oversee sections three and four, mostly during the second and third shifts. Effective immediately." Max points at the map, and I'm half paying attention. I'm watching Everly stand in the kitchen, looking lost. I would bet anything she's hoping he'll leave soon. Because if he doesn't, that means we're spending all day with him.

"What about…you know who? Are you done punishing him yet?"

At Max's words, I Iazily look over at him, and I see where he's pointing. To the denser of the areas, one that will require someone more agile than Harrison to get through it.

"Sure." I answer him, and I look back toward the kitchen. "Everly."

Her head jerks in my direction, still undecided of what she was doing. It looks like she was about to rearrange my cabinets out of sheer boredom.

"Come look at this," I call out, gesturing for her to join us.

"Alright." She heads our way, reluctantly looking at the tablet I'd taken from Max. I'd changed it to a view of the woods, one with absolutely no trail or pathway. "Think Karl's had enough of the daycare center yet?"

Her face brightens considerably. "I'm sure he'd be happy to help you. He didn't mean to…"

"To give in to your threats?" I smirk at her, and she shoots me a dirty look.

"When are you going to tell him?" She ignores me, and I smile widely at her optimism.

"If I decide he's done, soon."

 

 

I leave Everly rearranging my glasses.

I kiss her goodbye, catching her sulky expression when she realizes I'm heading out with Max and I throw it right back at her. She's moved all the cups to the bottom shelf, where she can reach them. The urge to move them back to their original place is strong, mostly because I like reaching over her to get them for her.

I refrain. Instead, I promise her I'll be right back, and I hope I'm right.

I have a million things to cram into the next few hours, and not a lot of time. Max had stayed through lunch. He'd stayed through coffee. He'd made the decision that Karl had been punished enough, and this would be a fantastic opportunity for him to redeem himself. He even hinted that perhaps I'd see something in Karl, and I idly wondered why he was pushing for this forgiveness from me. I felt Karl's punishment was appropriate; he'd broken protocol to take Everly and Tris out of Dauntless, and while he'd admitted it, he'd also looked annoyed.

I understood.

But rules were rules, and he'd been stupid to think he was above them, no matter how persuasive Everly was.

I did agree that Karl had been serving his time without too much complaint. I'd seen him looking worse for the wear several times now, and it brought me great satisfaction that he wasn't loving life so much. Until I wound up behind him and some girl who worked there, walking out together. I'd followed a good distance behind them, not going out of my way to spy on them, but simply taking the same path. Every so often, her hand bumped his. And every so often, his hand bumped hers.

I'd narrowed my eyes in complete disgust.

Eventually, he took hold of her hand, and I realized he was either dating or fucking the girl. My and Jason's immediate research for no reason other than it gave us something to do beyond our normal work, told us her name was Charlotte. She was a few years older than him, and she seemed to enjoy working with the toddlers. And Karl.

He definitely seemed to enjoy her.

Which was fine. He'd moved on from staring at Everly, and I saw no point in leaving him to work in the daycare center if he actually enjoyed going there.

I think of this, when I bump into him at Christian's.

He smiles, more out of politeness than anything, silent as he leaves. I eye him in confusion, wondering why on Earth he was down here, and I can only come up with the idea that the children had destroyed his uniforms.

But something bothers me about his presence, and I can't quite place my finger on it. I can't quite place my finger on why Christian hurries my appointment either. He practically shoves the suit at me, telling me he's never made a mistake and the measurements are complete perfection, then pushes me out the door. I stand there with an odd look on my face, and I turn in surprise when I hear him lock the door behind me.

I return to my office, my arms full of the suit he's made, groaning when I find Harrison sitting there.

I return home ready to murder someone.

Harrison had sat in my office, wearing a tuxedo, waiting to tell me that he thought he knew where Evelyn was. I'd sighed, heavily, and sunk down into my office chair with zero enthusiasm.

"You don't." I shook my head. "If you did, you'd be out there, not in here. Besides, you said that last time, and she wasn't there."

"She was there. We just missed her. Maybe because you're not very subtle." He argued, and it took me a good hour to listen to him. He showed me security footage of a woman who sort of looked like Evelyn, but I wasn't entirely convinced. At this point, going out there would be a risk. I could send him after her, hell –he could go on his own and I couldn't stop him, but the woman on this video might end up being someone else. With every faction already edgy and uneasy, hunting down a random citizen wouldn't end with us looking very good.

Despite my logic on the situation, Harrison refused. I'd left him in my office, still arguing, still putting a team together. I went home in a shitty mood. I'd gotten nothing done, and I'd meant to finish up enough that I wouldn't need to return tomorrow.

To my utter irritation, I open my apartment door to the sound of girls giggling. I'm already irritable that I don't have a ton of time to get ready thanks to Harrison's ranting, but something tells me Everly already is. I take a few steps into the apartment, and I'm nearly knocked over by Tris and Christina rushing past me. Neither say hello and neither make eye contact. They are a blur of nervous energy and I'm happy to see them go. I head through my bedroom and into the bathroom, where I find Everly standing, staring at herself in the mirror with a horrified look on her face. Her hair looks crazy; like it's been tortured by a pack of wild hyenas, and she immediately waves her hand at me.

"I know, I know," She announces, trying to smooth it back into place. Her fingers are frantic as she pulls at the strands, undoing the work of her friends. "Christina put it in this braid and I made her take it out."

I watch her shove the hair back over her shoulder while she talks. My eyes fall to her neck, pale and exposed and naked.

"It's very poufy." I announce, and she freezes in place. The look on her face tells me she's exasperated, and I smirk at her.

"I'm well aware of that."

I step closer, until I'm standing behind her, and the stress of this afternoon melts away. Everly looks pretty, despite the fact that her hair is everywhere, fluffy and tangled and definitely not dinner ready. I press my chest up against her back, and I place my hands on either side of the sink, bending down until my lips touch her ear. She looks frantic at the thought of undoing what her friends have done, but I think I know how to remedy the situation.

"I'll help you flatten it." I tell her, my voice low. I linger for a moment before kissing right below her ear, inhaling how good she smells. She tilts her head to the side, and I get a rush of satisfaction when she leans back against me. "Do you know how to fix your hair yourself?"

Everly nods. My arm moves across her waist, pulling her back toward me. She fits there perfectly, and I decide for once, it won't matter if we're late.

"Good."

I pick her up easily, and its seconds later before I toss her onto the bed. Her hair is long forgotten as I hover over her, my fingers quickly undoing the button-down shirt she has on, and I decide maybe this night won't be so bad after all.

 

 

She fixes her hair while I get dressed.

It might have just been the lingering high of listening to Everly gasp my name, but I suddenly feel far better about this dinner than I had earlier. I couldn't pin point the sudden shift in my mood. Maybe it was that I'd caught a glimpse of her dress. I stood there staring, blinking in awe of what she looked like. Despite not being handmade by Christian and his team of mice, the dress far exceeded my expectations. It wasn't frilly or girlish, and it certainly wasn't pink. It was dark and fitted, lower cut than anything she'd ever worn, and far more revealing than what she typically chose. She didn't look like some girl from the farm, nor my initiate, and it was almost more scandalous than seeing her undressed.

I had a suspicion others would share that same feeling.

This left me very pleased. There was no doubt she'd catch a few stares this time around. She had the first time as well, but this would be different. Last time had been because of who she wasn't, this time, would be because of who she was.

I walk into the bathroom tightening the black tie around my neck, and I find her finishing her hair. It looks much better than before, even after having my hands in it. I watch her curl a few pieces while she looks at me through the mirror, smiling when I smirk at her.

"Do you need me to sign anything before we go?"

She's teasing me, her tone downright flirty, knowing full well she'd signed our marriage certificate last time. I watch her curl another piece of hair as I fix my collar, and the fabric is stiff. For some reason unbeknownst to me, Christian had made the suit more formal than I'd like. It left me feeling like I was getting dressed to attend a wedding, or some overly formal affair.

"Actually, yes." I reach for the comb next to her. I fix my hair quickly, hating the way it fell in my eyes even though it had just been cut. Everly watches in the mirror, her lips turning up.

"What did you do this time? Secretly sign me up to be trained as your personal assistant?"

"No need," I tease her right back. "If Karl doesn't work out on his patrol he can be my assistant."

She unwraps the last of her hair, rolling her eyes at my joke. "Funny." She sets the curling iron down, gives her hair a once over, then turns to me.

I find myself staring at her. Standing there, watching her, like I'd never seen her before. It's always unexpected, but when I look at her, there's a rush of everything that I couldn't figure out if I tried. I could try to pick apart the feelings, I suppose. A heavy dose of odd, never ending affection that never seemed to get vocalized as much as it should. Lust. Pride. A smugness that she was my wife and no one else's. A sense of hopeful optimism, not at all in my nature, but perhaps borrowed from her.

The pleasing realization that I'd been married to her for a year, and that in itself was an accomplishment.

Love.

But when I'm silent too long, she takes my stare as something else.

"What's wrong?" She looks up at me, noticing the change in my expression. I catch my own reflection, noticing I look thoughtful, but it's come across more serious than anything. I wait a beat, then decide I might as well help her finish getting ready.

"I got you something."

Her reaction is immediate. She grins and her face lights up in surprise.

I'd never wooed her by giving her obnoxious or lavish things. I could have. But that felt like cheating, buying her affection or showing her what my power here could do. Instead, our relationship had evolved in an entirely different way. I'd found what she liked or needed and feeling almost uneasy that I was giving her something she could possibly reject, that was what I gave her. It was completely out of my nature but each gift had felt right. Personal. Just between her and I.

Just like now.

I reach into my pocket, pulling out the black box that Stephan had put together, and I hand it to her.

"What is it?" She asks, reaching out slowly. She takes it from me, staring at the box before looking up at me.

I find myself rolling my eyes. She hasn't made a single move to see what's inside, and I'm not telling her.

"You could open it and find out."

She gives me a definite look in return, but she pries the lid off, then falls silent.

I watch her carefully, my insides dissolving because she'll either like it, or find it stupid that I gave it to her. Other than her wedding ring, I've never seen her wear any jewelry. I wonder if this was a mistake, maybe she'd find it rather presumptuous that I'd give her such a loud gift, or maybe she'd find it useless.

After what seems like ages, she picks it up gently, her fingers touching the letters. She eyes it for a long time, the heavy implication of both our initials intertwined together, meant for others to see, and I'm hit with the urge to leave. To bolt out of here, leaving her behind, and tell her I'll see her around. That this has been fun, but my one attempt to do something that one could maybe possibly sort of consider romantic had blown up in my face.

She finally looks up, and her smile is wide.

"I like it." Her expression is surprisingly sweet. "Where did you get it?" She pauses to take the necklace out of the box, then holds it out to me. "Will you help me put it on?"

I nod my head at her. She turns to face the mirror, and I move her hair off her neck before sliding the necklace on her. I have to admit it looks nice, and Stephan's work is definitely worth what I paid. It takes me a single second to clasp the necklace closed, and I let my fingers linger on her neck for a moment.

"I had it made." I announce, and my voice echoes in the bathroom. "It's fitting. It declares who you are, and that you are married to me."

I sound haughty with that last part, but it's unavoidable. She is married to me, and just like my announcement said, she should have the same respect. Maybe more. This necklace felt very appropriate given the timing, driving home the point one more time for those who didn't quite get it.

She examines the necklace in the mirror, bright against her skin, and she cocks her head at me. "Can I ask you something?"

I raise my eyebrow at her, wondering what on Earth she could possibly want to know. Everly's questions were never easy. They were always things like, did you sleep with her in your bed, or did you love her? What's your middle name? How do you like your eggs?

Shit I never wanted to answer, because it felt like admitting the worst parts of me. But my silence never had a great effect. It only spurred on her questions, making her wonder if I preferred her over anyone else.

I did.

I always had.

"I suppose." I respond, meaning to sound casual and unbothered.

She turns back around to look at me, and I step forward to close the distance. My hands move without thinking; I reach for her, pushing her until she's right up against me, and my other hand finds her hip. Everly tilts her head up to look at me, and she's as close as can possibly be.

"Why did you make that announcement today?"

Her question is not unexpected. Announcing to the faction that she was my wife was for her own benefit, but also purely selfish. It was a public claim that she loved me and only me, and for everyone else to fuck off if they thought they'd ever get close to her.

Admitting this out loud is a little more complicated. This wasn't something I was experienced in, especially when it came to what I felt for her.

But she deserves to know.

I look down at her, having been lost in the agony of what exactly I should say.

"Because. You deserve to be acknowledged and respected." My fingers tighten on her. I pull her impossibly closer, wanting her right against me. "Because I don't show you enough how much you mean to me."

Her reaction is telling; her eyes widen and her lips part open. It's obvious she's surprised, and I suddenly wonder if she was expecting something else. Maybe that I'd done it out of a security concern, or that this way, no one could ask her any more stupid questions about if she was really married to me.

"The other day you came after me and said it was because you wanted to save me. It was a stupid thing to do. But no one else has ever given a shit about whether I made it back to Dauntless or not. I made the choice to marry you and I don't regret it. I never asked what you thought about it, but I'm sure now that you have chosen me, too. I lost you once to Evelyn and then to the memory serum. I've gotten you back, and I don't ever want to lose you again." I touch her cheek, remembering the shittiest time of my life, and hoping she realizes I mean every word I'm saying. I've never admitted to anyone that I felt anything, let alone to this degree. Her eyes shut at my touch, and she leans forward. She opens them after a moment, her gaze as warm as ever.

She looks beautiful.

Absolutely no different than the first day I met her, but also entirely different.

"I've also heard that some of the people were giving you a hard time. So, I want those assholes and everyone else to know you are my wife. You deserve to be treated with appropriate respect. No one should ever question your status again, and if they do, they'll deal with me."

The look on Everly's face is one I haven't seen before. It's a mix of gratitude, of love and desperation and wild appreciation, of disbelief. I idly wonder if no one has ever stood up for her before. If in Amity, she was simply another member, easy to brush off, easy to forget about in the swarm of jewel tones. Easy for Landon to tell to be quiet, giving in to others just to keep the peace. But not here. She was more than just another soldier for our battles. More than just an initiate. More than just someone I came home to at night, using to pass my nights with.

She was my Everly, she always had been.

Only now, everyone knew.

"I love you."

She blurts the words out right before her lips crash against mine. This kiss is different. It's not simply her kissing me, trying to trick me into answering her questions or just because she missed me. It's one that tells me this was what she needed to hear, and it was long overdue.

It's one that hints she'd happily head back to my bed, but as appealing as that idea is, we don't have time right now.

I break away from her with great reluctance, and she lets out a small whine of protest. Her hands are on me, now clutching onto my shirt, hinting that she has other plans. But if we don't head out of here soon, our late arrival will be far more noticeable than we could get away with.

"Later," I promise, and her head drops forward. Not in defeat, but in protest of leaving here when the idea of staying in is much better. I reach one hand up to cup the back of her head, careful not to ruin her hard work fixing her hair.

"And don't forget to sign the papers on the counter. Don't ask any questions, either."

She snorts against my chest, amused that once again, she would be signing something she had no clue about.

"Fine," she agrees. "But you'll have to explain yourself later."

I find myself smiling at her, really smiling, until she lifts her head up and announces we should head out.

 

 

My phone rings a dozen times before we even leave the apartment.

The text messages roll in right along with the calls, all asking if I'm on my way. I'm immediately both irritated and suspicious. Irritated that Rylan and Jason felt the need to call so many times, and suspicious that this dinner was already off to a terrible start. I impatiently answer Rylan in all capital letters –writing WE'RE ON OUR FUCKING WAY and shove my phone in my pocket before he can respond.

It rings again.

I groan inwardly, wondering if I could call Max and change my RSVP to unable to attend. Right as I decide that might be the best decision, Everly appears, completely ready to go. Her shoes are just as fancy as her dress, and her hair is shiny and full. While I would have no issue with staying home, she looks excited, and I grudgingly head to the door.

We walk through Dauntless at a gratingly slow pace; her shoes far higher than what she normally wore, resulting in her walking far slower. She links her arm through mine, and together we head past the conference rooms, down the long hallway. She looks at me a few times, both confused about where we are going and slightly hesitant. She's never been this way, but we rarely ventured down here. Even now, the hallway is deserted, and were someone to wind up lost over here, they'd have no clue that not far from here, lie a ballroom.

"Almost there," I announce, sulking that this was my last chance to turn around. I'd already ruined her hair once and heading home and ruining it once more wasn't a bad plan. But before I can, we come to a stop in front of two oversized, heavy doors. They are made of a dark wood, tall and impressive, with ornate carvings etched into them.

"Where are we?" Everly asks, right as I reach for the handle. It's cold, and I pause to look at her.

"Every faction is expected to take a turn hosting the Annual Leadership Dinner. They all have a room set aside for the event." I raise my eyebrows at her, hoping she catches my dismissal at the idea that we'd have to put this event on. "On rare occasions, it's also used to host other types of dinners or meetings that are held privately, away from the rest of the faction."

"I've never seen one in Amity," She lingers next to me, staring at the door. The Dauntless logo is there, nearly as tall as she is, engraved deeply within the wood.

I shrug my shoulders, having never actually attended the dinner in Amity. I'd been invited, once. But I'd declined, claiming I had the flu. "You would have had no reason to attend." I push the heavy door open, deciding we might as well head in. "Now you do."

The door opens with some effort on my part. Everly throws me a bright smile, then reaches for my arm to drag me through. Of course, she'd be excited to attend such an event, especially being held here. I follow her in, and I nearly crash into her when she comes to an abrupt halt.

Our last Leadership Dinner had been held in Erudite, in a room meant for hosting gatherings. Our room in Dauntless wasn't anything like that. It was deep within the compound, but toward the upper levels. I'd been in here a few times, and it always looked the same. Dark décor, dark lighting, and a bored waitstaff plucked from the kitchens.

It looks the same today.

I supposed it might look appealing to Everly. Her eyes rake over the high ceiling, giving way to an open air section revealing the night sky. I supposed she'd like the warm lighting, the twinkling lights that look like someone finally wiped them down. The dark stone, giving it a very cave like feel, and the gathering of tables, with fancier linens than I was used to seeing.

Or she's frozen in place because in front of us, is everyone we know.

I find myself freezing beside her, eyes narrowing in pure and utter horror.

Everyone.

Waiting.

Looking right at us.

Max. Tori. Karl, standing next to Everly's friends from Amity who look positively love struck. Jason and Rylan, both dressed up except for their shoes. Harrison, wearing the tuxedo he'd had on all day. Everly's mother. Johanna. Andrew fucking Prior. Christina, looking like she could keel over with excitement. Cara, having been told only hours ago that she'd been awarded the position as Leader of Erudite. Arlene, grinning so widely that I know she had a hand in this. Jack Kang, surrounded by a dozen assistants, beaming at me as though this was his idea.

Daniel.

Blythe.

My gaze falls to them, the horror rising up in my throat as I realize there is no way out. Rylan catches my eye, waving from where he stands, and the room seems to close in on me.

"What the fuck!?" The words are out of my mouth immediately. They're snarled at no one, only Everly, since she's right next to me. My fingers dig into her side, and she looks up at me.

I shake my head to tell her that honestly, I had no clue what was going on. It was obvious this was for us, but I had fully been expecting to attend a dinner for the leader. Not whatever this was.

It's all the worse when I catch Daniel's stare. He's standing by Cara, but also a few others from Erudite. Next to him, Blythe looks oddly subdued.

But Daniel, he's another story.

He smiles at me, my hand digging into the side of Everly's fancy dress, and he looks absolutely and positively downright proud.


	38. The Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in getting these chapters updated. I wasn't sure if anyone was still reading this on here, so I stopped updating on this site. I'm not amazing with this formatting, so I held off on posting them here.  
> Anyway, if you haven't gotten a chance to read these elsewhere, here they are :)

This is what our wedding would have looked like.

Had I married Everly any other way than by not telling her I was doing so, this would have been the outcome. A party, planned by someone else, shoved down my throat as I was forced to parade myself and my wife in front of everyone. A very public display of who she was, at a time when I wasn't ready for any of this. People worming their way into the most private details of my life, feeling like they have every right to know all my secrets.

Even now, there are too many people staring at us, their gazes zeroed right in on my hands on Everly. My fingers digging into the heavy fabric of her dress, my side pressed up right against hers. Her head, somewhere in the middle of my chest, a few inches higher than normal thanks to the shoes. The way my knuckles were turning white as I resisted the urge to immediately retreat from this room and drag her along with me.

But I couldn't. While I could care less about most of the guests who'd come here, Everly did. I could see the joy in her expression, the delight that they had traveled from all over, even though most would have jumped at the chance to see this. Jack Kang would have walked here if it meant seeing Everly, and Cara would have joined him.

The only thing that makes this all worse, is that it was planned without me knowing about it. Despite my pristine record of not missing a single thing that went on in Dauntless, I had clearly missed the memo that a party was being hosted in our honor. I had missed Quinten – suddenly able to cook a decent meal, practicing all week. I'd missed Max's multiple attempts to guarantee my arrival, passing them off as him being his usual, annoying self. I'd missed Jason and Rylan, sharing secretive looks because one of them was bound to blurt something out if I looked at them the wrong way. I'd missed it all, and now, I would suffer.

"Oh my God."

Next to me, Everly is just as stunned as I am. But her surprise is not out of pure and utter hatred of this party, but happiness. Her eyes light up as she takes in the decorated room, the waitstaff in the back, the people beaming at her. Her mother looks dizzied, probably both with too much peace serum and with seeing her daughter again. Her friends look equally elated, both seconds away from shrieking in pure joy.

And Daniel, staring at me with an expression I can no longer place.

I glare at all of them.

Especially him.

He looks disgustingly thrilled that he's finally getting to see what he's always wanted. The image of Everly and I, as if we'd just been wed, while he pretends he was there to witness it. Arlene, like some annoying relative who everyone felt obligated to invite. Jason and Rylan, now high fiving each other after pulling off the surprise of a lifetime. I close my eyes for a moment, thinking they'll all vanish. When I open them, I'll be anywhere but here, preferably at home with my wife.

But it doesn't work.

Instead I see Blythe, looking suspiciously over at Four, her eyes just as narrowed as my own.

I stop looking around the room there.

Four.

Someone, whoever put together this exclusive list of people I'd want to celebrate my wedding with thought to include Four. Because that's exactly the person who's been the most supportive of my relationship with Everly.

I can't think about it for very long. Max appears like a strange and enthused party host, and he escorts us to our seats. He is practically glowing he's so happy, and he smiles the entire time. So does everyone.

So does Everly.

She turns to look up at me, and her smile is brighter than I've ever seen.

 

 

Everything is the worst.

Everly and I are seated at a table in front of everyone, just so everyone can stare at us. It's decorated in a manner I'd rather die than admit was wedding themed, and it's with great reluctance that I actually sit down. Eventually, I give in, because my seat is a fairly good vantage point. While not quite near the fire exit, I'm close enough that I could grab Everly and run if I could think of a good enough distraction.

That plan aside, it's also where I can see everyone. Just like right now. I can see Blythe staring at us, her gaze flitting back and forth from me to Everly, but it's blank. Not nasty or conniving, but also not sincere or polite. Just blank.

"I can't believe Max did this," Everly leans into me, whispering the words. She doesn't have to whisper. Hell, she could scream them and no one would hear her. Everyone is milling around, talking and greeting those around them, and the noise level is loud. Successfully loud and enthusiastic, and it hurts my head.

"Neither can I." I glance around the room again, mentally numbering those around me in the order that I will kill them, and I stop when I get to Four.

Not only was he invited, but because the stars and planets must have aligned tonight, he was sitting at our very fucking table.

I'm not sure who made this seating chart, but I have every intention of shoving them off the roof the first chance I get. I could possibly handle sitting through this dinner, especially because Everly looked really enthused to be here, but I was losing it at the appearance of Four. Someone had it out for me, and it was quickly becoming clear they thought they'd get away with it.

Luckily for me, there's plenty of alcohol. I take one very long sip of the wine someone's placed in front of me, and I watch Four and Tris sit next to each other. Close enough you might think something was up, but also far enough apart that you might not. I roll my eyes when Four averts his stare to the menu in front of him, and a second later, I follow his stare to a table further down. He looks sketchy as ever, doing his best to pretend he's comfortable when he's clearly not.

I see the issue immediately. Everly's mother is sitting there, along with Andrew Prior. He smiles at me in the same manner one usually does before I rip their head off, and I know he's only here because there wasn't a chance in hell we'd let Marcus in here. But the weight of his secret -that days ago he'd been talking to me, must be killing him. He shifts in his seat, listening to Everly's mother and Johanna say something, and Four looks increasingly uneasy every time he moves.

I have the urge to yell out that both he and Andrew should relax. There's a high chance Four and Tris have already gone as far as holding hands and gazing into each other's souls. It's not like Andrew's going to come over and lecture him or publicly berate him for being the only person alive who'd want to do anything with Tris. He'd probably thank him that she wouldn't die alone, or worse, return to Abnegation unmarried and permanently single.

I smirk in delight at my own thoughts, and I smirk even more when Andrew stands up. I take immense joy, the feeling more pure than anything I've ever felt in my entire life, when he stops at their side of the table, all because Four looks ready to vomit.

Tris looks fairly normal. She smiles up at her father, oblivious to her sweaty boyfriend beside her, and she introduces him.

By his numerical name.

"This is Four."

She sounds proud, and I roll my eyes at her enthusiasm. Four manages to smile up at who could one day be his father in law and moves to stand up. Andrew motions for him to sit down, and in the politest stand-off ever, they both awkwardly stare at each other.

Next to them, Blythe frowns.

Andrew smiles again, keeping his expression neutral. I wonder if there's a flash of disappointment that his daughter has chosen to date someone who identifies as a number, or if it's because he recognizes him as Tobias Eaton. Before I can helpfully interject myself into this conversation, I'm elbowed by Everly.

"Here." She nudges my drink at me, knowing full well what I'm watching, and I smile down at her. I have to admit she looks lovely, but I'm starting to doubt there is enough alcohol in this room to keep me quiet.

I abandon my plan to out Four when Andrew makes his way around to our side of the table. He wisely stays far enough away from me, and he offers a very genuine sounding congratulations.

To Everly.

To me, he offers a very intense stare, and I realize he's probably never seen her before. I'm sure he has a lot of questions, all impolite and none of his business, but he refrains from asking. He nods at me, and I sneer back, maintaining the façade that I would never speak to him in my life.

"Thanks." I answer him shortly, hoping he'll be on his way. But Everly elbows me, not knowing Andrew and I had come to an agreement that in order to keep up appearances, we'd stay away from each other. For the sake of Everly, I relent, but not before I glare at her. "Thank you for coming."

"Best wishes to you both." Andrew looks like he wants to smile. He bows his head at us, then steps back as the staff passes by him with their arms full of salad plates. They are quick, setting them down in front of each guest, and when I look back, Andrew has returned to sit at his table.

For a brief moment, there is a reprieve from people staring at us. Four and Tris are busy discussing the nutritional benefits of lettuce, and Max and Arlene are knocking back drinks. I reach for my fork, only to discover Daniel has sat down next to us. He's dressed up very formally, one step short of borrowing Harrison's tuxedo, and I have to say he looks impressive.

But I know he isn't.

"Everly, I don't believe we've met your mother yet." Daniel greets her with a large smile. To his surprise, Everly's face changes to what was probably very similar to mine.

Sheer horror.

"Oh, she's just been busy over…there..." She trails off, falling oddly silent.

I immediately look in her mother's direction.

In all the time I'd known her, Everly had only told me a few things about Amity. I knew about her father, about Hank's disapproval of her coming here, about how no one in Amity had thought much of her, but she'd been quiet in regard to her mother. I'd met her while in Amity, and she'd been very kind. Not at all judgmental or rude, and happy that her daughter was happy.

Beyond that, I had no clue about her.

I only know that right now, she looks like she's from Amity.

Her dress is red and gold, her hair is braided to the side, and she and Andrew are in deep discussion. They're pointing at the salad, and I wonder if they're bonding over eating food with no taste. She smiles at him, loopy and tipsy, and then she looks up over at Everly. Her mother smiles brightly, waving her hand as though she's just noticed we were sitting here, and Everly waves back.

Then she shrinks further down in her chair, focusing on her salad in front of her.

"What does she do in Amity?" Daniel asks, and he takes a bite of his own salad. I wait, patiently, and Everly takes a very long time to answer. She stabs at a tomato, then cringes.

"Um, well, she…"

"Yes, what does she do? I don't think you've ever said." I turn to look at her, my own plate forgotten. For someone so inquisitive, always questioning and trying to pry every ounce of information out of me, she's suddenly looking a lot like me. She's doing her best to avoid the question, which is odd. I lean in closer to her, my eyes right on her. "Funny, for all you've told me about Amity, you've never once mentioned what she does."

"I didn't tell you that much about Amity," She answers quickly, looking up at me with a stormy look on her face. I smirk at her, and I suddenly realize Everly doesn't want to answer the question. The Head of the Dauntless Interrogation Committee suddenly doesn't want to talk, but I'd bet she has a good reason why. "She... uh…"

Everly stalls again, this time, stabbing her lettuce over and over, when her mother appears. I raise both eyebrows at her arrival, as though she's swooped in to rescue her daughter.

"Everly! You look beautiful!" She immediately reaches for Everly, sounding rather emotional. She hugs her tightly, pushing her into the side of me, unaware of what she's doing. "Congratulations, darling."

Then she touches me.

She pats my shoulder like I'm a child, grinning into the air.

Before I can say a word, Everly stands up, hugging her mother again. Daniel watches intently, never having seen a family act in such a kind manner toward one another. I'm sure this affection is odd and unfamiliar to him, and he does his best to observe carefully. He watches as her mother beams at her without fail, brushing Everly's hair off her face and leaning in to whisper to her.

I hear every word of it.

"It's very dark here. Are you getting enough sunlight? You know what the lack of Vitamin D can do to a person."

I smirk.

Her mother sounds very worried about Everly's underground living. To her credit, Everly nods, and does her best to change the subject.

"You look so pretty." Everly tells her, and there's this hint of stress to her voice that I haven't really heard before. "I'm so glad you're here. I never thought I'd see you in Dauntless."

"I have something for you and Eric." Her mother isn't at all listening, and Everly can tell. She grows nervous, suddenly doing her best to step back as her mother reaches into some bag. Everly bumps into me, watching this unfold with secret interest. I've draped my arm across the back of the chair, and I rest my hand on Everly's waist, giving off the appearance that I don't give a single fuck what's in her mother's magic bag. But Everly's nervousness has made me curious, and I wait patiently to see what she's brought.

"You didn't have to do that…" Everly shakes her head, and she leans away from her mother a fraction of an inch. She stops midsentence, and a second later, I get why.

Her mother triumphantly pulls out a wreath of flowers. I cock my head to the side at the sight, wondering if perhaps she thought she'd missed the ceremony. But I'm wrong. So wrong. She reaches up, and with great pride and honor, places it on Everly's head.

My eyes widen and my immediate reaction is to bite down on the side of my cheek, hard enough to draw blood.

It's not that the image in front of me is offensive. Everly still looks beautiful. She most certainly looks like my wife, except one who wishes she could vanish into thin air. The flowers are large and intricately woven together, and her mother adjusts them further, pushing Everly's hair out of her eyes and making sure her crown of flowers stays in place.

"It was always my dream to watch you wed in Amity." Her mother talks while she works, oblivious to the show she's putting on. Arlene is watching her with a look of sheer…something on her face. Like she can't figure out whether she should laugh at the situation or step in and stop it. Four and Tris are both watching with wide eyes, and Max, well he's staring at Everly as though he's been waiting for this moment for a long time. "You would have been a beautiful bride."

Everly stays perfectly still. I can feel her breathing, completely unsure of what to do. I know that her dream was never to be married in Amity. She'd told me, perched atop my bed and watching me undress, that the idea of being married in a field wasn't what she envisioned. That she'd never wanted that with Landon, and no matter how badly her mother did, she didn't.

Everly turns to say something, but she can't. Her mother has moved on, moving too fast for me to see what she's doing. She moves at a lightning speed to shove herself right beside me, only pausing to place the matching wreath of flowers onto my hair.

She certainly has balls, this lady.

I immediately snatch it off my head, snarling the second my fingers touch the flowers. For one searing, hot moment I could scream, because even if I'd lost my fucking mind and decided I wanted to wed Everly in Amity, I'd never put this shit in my hair.

Ever.

But I don't.

Because Everly looks just as horrified, as though I might divorce her on the spot.

"Absolutely not," I hiss at her, and I toss the flowers onto the table. I look at her mother in utter annoyance, only cutting her the most minute slack because she was here for our anniversary dinner. "Do not put that on my head again. Ever."

Anyone else would have bolted.

Left the room, left the faction, never to return.

To be brave enough to dare touch me, let alone place such a thing on my head, was one thing. But to think I'd want any of this was another.

Her mother blinks, then smiles, nodding as though I've spoken gibberish to her. Everything in me tenses up, hating being front and center while everyone witnessed this exchange, and still hating the fact that I was stuck here.

"I didn't want you to feel left out. I wasn't sure how big your head was, but Everly's friends said you were quite large."

Everly chokes.

I find myself nodding, counting to a very high number in my head.

"No."

"You really should wear it," her mother insists. "You two look adorable in them."

In the distance, I hear people laughing. I know that if I turn, I'll see Jason and Rylan, probably in tears over how this was playing out. Perhaps Christina and Meghan, all waiting to see if I survive this night, or if I will snap at some point. There is a beat of silence, then a sharp whistle to catch my attention.

I look over at Rylan, and I haven't drunk enough to appreciate who he is as a person.

"Aww, c'mon Eric, those flowers are just so you!" He laughs, tilting his chair back, then pointing at the table. "Put them back on. We gotta get photos."

"Fuck, NO!" My answer is snarled at him, but also everyone else in this room.

"You don't have to wear that," Everly whispers, and she looks rightfully horrified. My fingers have dug deep into her side, and I'm seconds away from jerking her into my lap and marching the two of us out of here.

"I'm not about to." I snap at her, my aggression coming out at the worst moment. "Take that ridiculous thing off your head, too." The words keep coming, and she looks at me in surprise. She doesn't at all look happy, but I hate the sight of her looking like she's not who she is. She's been given enough shit about being from Amity, and this certainly isn't doing her any favors.

"I will." She nods her head, and I can tell that even though she doesn't like it, she doesn't think I'm being very nice. I look away from her, examining the table with great interest until my rage has subsided.

"I don't like it when you look like some peace-loving hippie stranger from Amity." I announce, hoping her mother hears. She's moved on to the next seat over, and hopefully her next victim is more willing to look like they've wandered out of some festival.

"Here." Everly leans into me, and her fingers find my hair. She smooths a few pieces back down, lingering at the nape of my neck, then moves to take the wreath off her head. Once out of her hair, she sets it down on the table next to mine.

"Thank you for these," Everly graciously smiles at her mother. "I think we will save them for later."

Her words make it sound like we're about to use them for some Amity fetish inspired role playing, and I snort at the idea. Her mother misses my interpretation of what Everly's said, and instead looks at Blythe and Daniel.

"Are these Eric's parents?"

"They are," Everly answers, far kinder than she should, considering how they originally treated her. She pauses to look at me, and her eyes are wide and pleading for me to say something. I shake my head no. I'm not about to introduce them, nor am I about to assist in this exchange in any way. They don't deserve to hear me say their names, and no one deserves to meet them.

However, Everly is undeterred. In an attempt to move on from the flowers, she looks at Daniel and pauses before speaking. "This is Eric's father and mother, Daniel and Blythe."

Daniel wipes his hands off on the elegant napkin he's holding. He then stands up immediately, greeting her warmly. "It's lovely to meet you. I didn't catch your name?" I notice he shakes her hand, politely and professionally, all while Blythe smiles like she's had a little too much wine to drink.

"Eden," Everly's mother announces. "It's wonderful to finally get to meet the parents of my son-in-law." She looks over at me as though she's thinking hard, then back at Daniel and Blythe. "I'm afraid I don't know the first thing about you two."

Daniel grins at her, fully prepared to discuss how wonderful he is. I'm sure she's the perfect target audience for him. She'll be won over by what a kind hearted and dedicated surgeon he is, and even better, the fact that he's here, celebrating with his son. How family oriented he is. How big a part of my life he is.

I wait impatiently for Eden to realize that while he is brilliant and he is a surgeon, there's not much else to him.

But she talks to him forever. Their polite conversation floats in the air around me, as I watch him interact with her. He's never been biased about what faction someone is from; he's always been quick to help anyone, and even now, he has infinite patience while Eden talks. She stops to ask him something, and he finally reveals exactly what he does. A second later, her eyes light up, and she steps closer.

"We have a lot in common," Eden tells him, and next to me, Everly makes a funny sound. I realize her eyes are screwed shut, and I know this will be good. While Eden is very nice, there is not a chance in hell she has anything in common with a man who lives by a strict code of rigid medical ethics. "I've worked in Amity as an Alternative Medical Specialist for years."

I take great delight when Daniel's face changes to both surprise and dismay. I smirk when he stumbles over his next words, for once, not sure what to say. "Alternative...Medical Specialist?" He stops, years of prestigious education imprinted on his brain. I wonder if she knows how many hours he spent studying, how many labs he's worked in, how many complex surgeries he's completed then figured out different ways to do them. "You, uh, so you're a…you're a doctor there?"

He sounds like he's dying. His expression is now one of forced politeness, but the blood has drained from his face at the thought of Eden fancying herself to be the same profession as him.

She doesn't notice.

She smiles widely, like he should have picked up on this himself. "I have a small practice out of my home. I treat everything with a more organic, natural method. I specialize in working with herbs, essential oils, anything that promotes spiritual healing. Everly has never had so much as a painkiller in her life."

Oh boy.

I find myself smiling, really smiling, as this unfolds before me, second by second. Daniel looks ill at the idea, and I know he's thinking of all the poisonous things in the Amity fields. Of all the things that could go wrong if one decided to ingest some plant to cure their headache, or perhaps blend up some weeds to drink in the morning.

He looks over at me, then Everly, his all too precious daughter in law, still standing there watching, and his eyes are wide. I can see the million thoughts behind them: was it true? Had Everly ever been vaccinated? Was she currently carrying some weird strain of a highly preventable mutated virus that would infect us all? Did she believe in the mystical healing powers of things like rocks? How was she even alive, without ever having real medical care?

Daniel rubs the back of his neck, his anxiety on full display, and he tilts his head at Eden. His frustration is palpable, all over his face now. "What sort of... uh... things do you use?"

"Anything from the ground is good for the soul. Do you have any idea what sort of healing properties can be found in some of the more commonly known herbs?" Eden declares, and she looks at both Everly and I. I pretend I'm not listening, but I really am. I had no clue that my wife's family was into this sort of shit, though I should have assumed. I idly eat my salad while Everly sort of wilts against me, and I shake my head and nudge her back. After all, this was her mother, and Everly was the one who wanted to stay here and party. "There are a few basic ones that grow in the wild throughout Amity. We use them daily in our teas. I had Everly start a fertility tea once she turned sixteen. It's a staple in almost every home in Amity."

The lettuce lodges itself in my throat. I choke, mostly at her bold declaration that she'd been giving her daughter something that would hopefully improve her odds of getting pregnant for two years, and also because I can see Four trying not to laugh. His face is red as he reaches for his drink, and next to him, Tris looks mortified on behalf of her friend.

Daniel looks over at Everly slowly, and even he can't hide the look of horror on his face.

"A fertility tea? What's in it? Isn't that a little…dangerous? How do you make it?" He asks, and it's a stupid question. Stupid because it can't possibly be an actual thing, and stupid for encouraging Eden to talk about it.

Next to him, Blythe is watching intently, but her blank stare is gone. I haven't so much as uttered a word to her, and I don't plan on it. But there's a shift in her expression, the dull, fuzzy gaze replaced with something sharper.

I realize she looks annoyed, especially when Arlene elbows her out of the way.

"How does one go about ordering this fertility tea?" Arlene demands, not bothering to downplay her joy at discovering this. She looks over at me rather smugly, then steps closer to Eden.

I decide to shut this down, right now.

"No. Arlene, go sit down." I bark, and I shake my head at her. There is no way in hell she's ordering any such tea, and I decide that from here on out, Everly and I will drink nothing from Dauntless. Ever again.

Arlene only smiles at me, a smile that tells me she has every intention of getting her hands on this magical, bullshit drink. She inches closer, fully ready to place an order, and I throw my napkin down.

"I said…" I try to stand up, and Everly shoves me back down in my seat to prevent me from killing Arlene.

"Why on Earth would you be concerned about such a tea, Arlene?" Blythe demands, sounding like her normal, vile self. She's sitting perfectly straight, and her stare is unimpressed. "That's the last thing you should be worried about."

"I don't think you should be at all concerned with what I worry about," Arlene barks back, not at all backing down. There is a moment when I think Blythe will reply, because this whole exchange is very obviously about getting Everly pregnant. There's a dark look on Blythe's face, either irritation at being told off or the horrific thought she could potentially one day have a grandchild, but she clamps her mouth shut and leans back in her seat. There's still a weird look to her, like she's struggling to break free from something, and she just can't.

Good.

Arlene isn't fazed by Blythe's commentary at all. She resumes her plan to make my life a living hell. I'd already come to terms with the idea that I liked the thought of having a baby with Everly, but that didn't mean I needed the entire faction to be aware of my reproductive plans, nor Arlene in charge of it.

"I'd like to know more. Please send the information to my office. Daniel can give you my email." She winks at me, and I decide the next time I get her alone, I will kill her. I will shove her head first into an examining table, and I will make sure she doesn't get up.

For once, I can appreciate the foul look Blythe throws in her direction. But Daniel shakes his head at Blythe, encouraging Eden to continue talking for some odd fucking reason. "Sorry about that. You were saying?"

"Red raspberry leaf, green tea, nettle leaf, peppermint leaf, chasteberry…" Eden prattles on, and Daniel's curiosity turns back to panic. "Do you ever use any alternative methods? You could come by sometime if you'd like to learn more. They might be useful in your practice."

Everly's hand finds my arm, and her nails dig right in. I smirk at her, imagining Daniel in Amity, destroying their theories on how plants can save lives. But he's saved when a server steps between them, handing Eden a cup of something.

"You asked for this? Unfortunately, we don't have any raw ginger root." The look on the girl's face is priceless as she struggles to not wrinkle her nose at whatever Eden had requested.

Eden nods, and she graciously accepts the cup. "You'll have to excuse me. Johanna and I were just about to have some tea. I'll come back in a bit." Daniel nods, not saying another word. He sinks down beside Blythe, his eyebrows furrowed together as he tries to process what just happened.

"Why didn't you tell me your mother was the Head Potions Master in Amity," I politely ask Everly, with only the slightest amount of glee in my tone. But she doesn't appreciate my brilliant commentary. She sits down, narrowing her eyes at me. "Now I know why you like those books so much."

"She's not a wizard," she answers, sounding hotly defensive for someone who's been drinking fertility tea for the past few years. " She just doesn't believe in modern medicine. Almost no one in Amity does." She points this out, then reaches for her wine glass. She takes a very long drink of the dark wine, until the glass is almost empty.

I lean into her, elbowing her when she sets the glass back down.

"She really gave you fertility tea?" I ask, and for a split second I wonder if this means there's a chance we'll wind up having triplets. "And you willingly drank it?"

"I didn't know that's what it was until last year, shortly before my Choosing Ceremony. She had told me it would help me wake up," Everly answers grumpily, crossing her arms over her chest. She looks embarrassed, and she shakes her head. "I haven't taken it in over a year, not since I found out, so don't worry."

Her tone hints that she's assuming I'd ready to run screaming, but I'm not. If anything, I understand exactly how she's feeling.

Even though Blythe would never have been dumb enough to give me anything from Amity.

"How fitting. Both of our mothers are insane." I announce, loud enough for everyone to hear. Especially Blythe. She shoots me a look that tells me the feeling is mutual, but even weirder is Four. His head whips in my direction, and his stare is just as odd as Blythe's. He looks like he's contemplating something, his face scrunched up in my direction.

"At least neither of them kidnapped your wife and tried to wipe her memory." He mutters the words, but he's had a few drinks and he's louder than he thinks he is. Tris startles in her seat, and she shoves him to the side, reaching to move his drink out of the way.

He doesn't appreciate her gestures, and I don't appreciate him joining my conversation.

"Well, maybe you shouldn't have been sneaking out and helping her," I snap, and his hands tighten into fists. Blythe leans forward, her eyes fixed on me, then Four, watching this very unimpressive soap opera as it picks up.

"I wasn't aware of what she was planning." Four is louder now, and a few heads turn in his direction. "I wouldn't have agreed to any of that."

"Oh, right. You would have suddenly found some balls and disobeyed Mommy," I retort, enjoying the way this is escalating quickly. Four's face turns red, and he shoves his chair back, fully ready to fight me.

At my own anniversary dinner.

"Four!" Tris yelps. "Now is not the time." Her voice echoes loudly, and Blythe zeros right in on him.

"Did you say Four? What kind of ridiculous name is Four? You walk around with a number for a name? What the hell is wrong with you?" She snaps at him, and just like that, she's the Blythe I know. I feel an odd sense of relief that she's once again rude. A quiet Blythe wasn't a safe Blythe, and at least I knew where I stood with this one.

So does Daniel. He acts quickly. He pats her arm with fake affection then reaches for her wine glass. "Blythe, I'll get you some more to drink. Sit tight," he tells her.

"Fine." She snaps, suddenly not enjoying her time here. In fact, she continues to glare at Four, and he glares right back at her.

I watch Daniel fumble to get out of his seat, and he looks oddly determined. I squint when he finally heads around to the bar, his gaze fixed on the bottles lined up on the counter. He waves over one of the bartenders, and quickly orders something. I find his actions suspicious, because he could have waited until someone came by to refill her drink, but I figure it all out when he reaches in his pocket.

He's drugged her.

I knew something was up. I had found her appearance odd. There wasn't a chance in hell I'd willingly invite her here, and I was surprised Daniel would bring her along. Knowing how the dinner went, knowing I hated her, knowing this could fuck with his chances of getting to know Everly, bringing her here was a definite risk. But that risk must outweigh the option of her finding out he'd come here without her, or her showing up when she realized where he was at. But he'd decided to chance it, perhaps hoping if she were higher than a kite, she might be pleasant. Or at the very least, quiet.

Unfortunately, it's wearing off.

I turn my attention back to Four still glaring at Blythe. His look is indignant, and while he doesn't have to like her, he could at least be respectful. He seems to be baiting her, daring her to say something else.

"Four," I bark his name loudly, "Shut up and stop glaring at my mother before I permanently wipe that glare off your face." I turn to Blythe, also glaring and I point at her. "Blythe, go find Daniel before Number Boy tries to punch you."

Neither of them move. Tris attempts to fix things by grabbing Four's arm and pulling him out of his seat, struggling when he doesn't move. "Come with me to get another drink," she urges him, and he throws Blythe one last, nasty look.

Blythe huffs in her seat, crossing her arms in disgust. "Uncouth Dauntless heathens." She fumes, before looking at me. "I'm not moving."

Her voice is forceful, but I leave her be. She's still slightly under the influence of whatever Daniel gave her, because a second later, she resumes eating her salad and looking around the room to find someone else to dislike more than Four.

I lean back in my chair, and I can feel my blood pressure increase. In fact, I can feel my brain pounding inside my skull, as I realize this will go on forever. I'm trapped here, through dinner, through dessert, through drinks. I will die here, in this chair, while everyone around me watches.

I feel a small hand on my arm, tugging on it to get my attention. I turn to look at Everly, and she smiles sweetly at me. She moves the heavy steak knife away from me, then leans in.

"Happy Anniversary," She announces, and her words are sincere. Sincerely insane. "I can't think of any other way I'd rather celebrate." She tries not to laugh, and the ridiculousness of this all hits me. We haven't even been served dinner, and I've already watched Four try to fight my mother while Daniel learned that Everly is possibly carrying around measles.

"I can," I declare, and I bend down to kiss her. I'm sure everyone in this room is watching, because of course they fucking are, but I don't care. My hand slips into her hair, and for a few seconds, everything feels okay.

 

 

It is not okay when Everly abandons me to get another drink.

I sulk in my seat, eyeing everyone around me, daring them to talk to me.

Luckily, most people seem to get the hint. They stay in their seats, focused on what's in front of them, which is an extravagant dinner Quinten has made. To the thrill of those who live here, it looks oddly appetizing, and it's a far cry from what he normally serves. Even our visitors seem impressed, and they dive right into their meals.

Except for Arlene.

She chooses this time to join me, taking Everly's seat before I can tell her to go away.

"How are you enjoying your evening?" She raises an eyebrow at me, looking obnoxiously pleased. "I think it's going rather well if I do say so myself."

I stare at her, and she smiles even wider.

"You can thank me any time, by the way."

"Never," I answer through gritted teeth, and next to her, Blythe takes a single bite of her dinner. She makes a face, displeased at our lack of culinary skill here, then sets her fork down with unnecessary force. "In fact, call it off. I'd like to go home."

"Not a chance." Arlene shoots back, eyeing me up and down. "You robbed us all of the sight of you getting married. Let everyone enjoy themselves."

I roll my eyes and I pick up a fork and contemplate stabbing it into Arlene's arm. "I don't owe anyone, anything. Except for maybe an apology to Everly for not having figured this out sooner."

To my dismay, Arlene scoots the chair closer.

"Everly hasn't been back to see me yet. I'm assuming maybe this fertility tea worked." She's half whispering, but she's far too loud for me. I eye her threateningly, and she pretends she's blind. "Have you thought about that? Maybe you have more to celebrate than your wedding anniversary?"

"She stopped taking it a year ago. So go focus on something else." I answer smugly, struggling to ignore the sudden thought that maybe it had some strange side effects I should be worried about.

"You aren't seriously planning on having a child with her, are you?" Blythe interrupts, speaking directly to me. I look over to her stare, icier than ever, and she shakes her head. "She's a child herself."

"Fuck off, Blythe." I glare at her, and she glares right back. "I don't remember asking for your opinion. Ever."

"So you are going to knock her up." Blythe rolls her eyes, and she looks disappointed. "I don't know why, but I suppose I still expected more from you. Oh well. Say goodbye to your life here. You'll be stuck at home, tending to both of them. I highly doubt your precious wife will be able to both work and take care of a baby."

I'm seconds away from leaping at her neck when Arlene clears her throat. "Ignore her. Maybe your father will accidentally poison her once he's back." I would smirk at her words, but she leans in, loudly proclaiming I look like I have a fever. She reaches out to feel my forehead, and I slap her hand.

"Both of you, go away." I point at Arlene and Blythe, but neither move.

"You'll be sorry. That's all I'm saying. But do whatever you want Eric. We all know you know what's best for everyone."

Blythe's words are condescending and sharp as she makes yet another less than subtle point.

I choose to ignore her.

"And here I was, thinking maybe you two had finally chosen to be civil. Eric even referred to you as his mother." Arlene throws an unkind look in Blythe's direction, and the intent behind her words is clear. I suppose by acknowledging who Blythe was, I was graciously giving her the chance to be a decent person, but her words show me I'm wasting my time.

"How generous of him." Blythe snaps, and her eyes flash to Daniel walking back to the table. "Enjoy your life, Eric. I hope it's everything you wanted."

"It is." I retort immediately, and Arlene stays between us.

She throws Daniel a look, this one also unkind, and his smile is tight.

There is no doubt he knows Blythe has said something, and I hope he's realizing what he's done by bringing her here.

The night only gets worse as it goes on.

I eat my food while Blythe glares at Everly. The glare eventually lessens, mostly because of whatever Daniel has given her, and eventually, she stops altogether. But it tells me what I've always known, that she'll never forgive me, and I'm alright with that. I'm still skeptical about Daniel being here, and I'm still hesitant about these dinners he wants to have, but at least he's trying. I grudgingly give him credit when he smiles at Everly, elbowing her to point up at something in the sky.

 

There's a point when I think things might be winding down.

The dinner has been served, people are eating, and the room falls quiet. Right as I've decided it's the perfect time for us to leave, Everly nudges me. I look up to find Max standing beside Arlene, and with great and utter irritation, I realize he's about to say something.

"He just gave a speech. He doesn't need to talk anymore." I bark, mostly at Everly. She shrugs, but the room falls absolutely silent as he clears his throat.

To my horror, he takes it upon himself to make a toast. I eye him warily, wondering what on Earth he could possibly have to say in front of all these people. There is a disturbing moment when I expect him to talk about how he brought Everly to me, how he shoved her right at me and gave me no choice but to train her. I expect him to take full credit for my marriage. Full credit for keeping Everly alive this whole time.

Full credit for giving her a key to an apartment that didn't work.

To my surprise, he is oddly affectionate. He speaks proudly, proclaiming how happy he is for us, and how this wasn't something he saw coming. I ignore his lie, because he'd never once asked me several key questions, like why my initiate lived with me, or why it was fine that I'd married her when she hadn't finished training. He continues, wishing us a lifetime of happiness, and congratulating us on finding each other.

Everyone in the room finds his speech heartwarming. They gaze at Everly and I in a disturbingly sweet manner, and even Andrew Prior manages to smile in our direction.

Max thanks everyone for coming, as if they had a choice, then steps away to let someone else speak. I realize my grip on Everly's waist has grown tight, and it only tightens more when Rylan stands up.

"Oh fuck." I swear loudly, loud enough that he hears me, and he grins.

"I just have a few words to say. I'll be quick, because Quinten is on a schedule and he said there's cake soon and not to fuck that up." Rylan announces loudly, and I realize he's living for this moment. He's wearing my dinner jacket, his hair is combed, and he looks excited.

Which means something horrific is coming.

"We need to leave. Now." I hiss at Everly, and she must be drunk, because she shakes her head no.

"I want to hear what he has to say. Isn't he…isn't he your best friend?" She looks over and up at me like I'm nuts, and I sigh.

"Yeah, which means this won't be good. For either of us." I retort, and I start to get out of my seat. But Everly is unfortunately smart and quick; she shoves her elbow into my stomach and pushes me back into my chair.

"Exactly thirty-seven years ago, I met Eric in kindergarten…"

Rylan's words float into the air, and everyone turns to look at me. I catch not only Arlene's furrowed brows, but Everly's strange expression as she contemplates exactly what he's saying. After she struggles with figuring out basic math, she turns to look at me.

"Just exactly how old are you?" She whispers and I stare at the ceiling, groaning.

"Not that old." I hiss, and I vow to kill him once this night is over.

"Everly probably wasn't even born yet. Which is fine. Because if Eric knew her, she would have been a baby. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, I was always in trouble, and so was Eric. It was the start of a beautiful friendship. One that continued until we met up again here, in Dauntless. For years, we have lived here, far superior to the other leaders and trainers." He pauses, winking at Four. "Eric and I, and Jason, wherever you went, we were best friends. Up until Everly came along. Then suddenly, Eric did not care that we'd made plans for happy hour, or that I'd borrowed his favorite shirt and lost it. He was an Eric unlike any we'd ever known."

He stops to make sure everyone is looking at me. His speech isn't terrible, and it's sort of nice if you omit the fact that he stole my shirt and lost it. Or the part where he's hinting that my wife is far, far, far younger than I am.

I tune him out for a second, still trying to quietly yet furiously whisper to Everly how old I really am, when I decide it's probably safer if I pay attention to what he's saying.

To my surprise, I've missed a good chunk of it.

"Okay, so Quinten is gesturing that I have to wrap this up. Eric, congratulations that you've found Everly. I hope the two of you are very happy together, and I know you are, because you no longer return my calls in a timely manner. I'd also like to say that I was the first one to approve of Eric's relationship with Everly, despite the fact that I'm pretty sure sleeping with your—"

I stand up to stab him, but he's cut off by Arlene, who violently shoves him out of the way so he can't announce to everyone that he'd approved of me sleeping with Everly ever since she arrived here.

"Thank you, Rylan. That was very...informative." Arlene shakes her head, and she makes sure Rylan is back in his seat. I wait for her speech, cringing inwardly at the thought of the shit she could tell, but I must have done something right in my life, because there are no more speeches. Instead, she makes a quick announcement before going back to her own seat. "Cake will be served momentarily. Thank you all for coming."

"There." I announce to Everly, who's sitting and trying not to laugh. "Was that what you wanted to hear? That he approved of us from the start?"

"I have to say, it wasn't that bad." She grins, and she leans into me. "I was honestly expecting much worse."

"I don't know. Andrew Prior might have cried had Rylan finished that statement. Me, sleeping with you, when you weren't even officially a member yet." I take a very long sip of my drink before I set it down. "The horror."

She laughs, and if we weren't sitting amongst my closest enemies, this is an image of her I'd like to remember forever. "And to think, I had no clue you were ready to retire. What did I get myself into?"

I find myself smiling at her joke, the rare kind of smile where I don't know I'm actually smiling until she smiles back.

It's interrupted by someone grabbing the plates from in front of me, and I realize this party, while an unfortunate disaster, isn't the worst way I've spent my night.

That feeling is short lived.

 

 

By the time I decide faking my own death might be the only way out of this party, Eden appears.

Again.

With something in her hands.

I immediately lean away from her, fully prepared to tell her off if she tries to put anything else in my hair. I relax when I realize she's only come by to present us with a large gift bag. My eyes narrow at it, wondering what on Earth she could have brought that she thought we wanted. I would expect not a single person to feel obligated to give us anything, especially something from Amity.

Everly seems to feel the same way.

She gingerly takes the bag from her mother, smiling sweetly, but announces we'll open it at home. I would guess it's full of all kinds of things that neither of us want. Perhaps more teas meant to conjure the dead or improve one's eyesight. Maybe something alive, like a squirrel that she's hoping we'll keep as a pet.

Everly is gracious enough that Eden doesn't seem to mind one bit. She nods enthusiastically, whispering that Everly will love them, then kisses her goodbye before heading toward the bar with Andrew. The two of them return to talking about plants, and Everly scoots over closer to me.

"Did you want to open this now?" She asks innocently, and I shake my head no.

"Absolutely not. You can open that outside. Far away from me." I answer quickly.

Everly laughs, and she leans in. I move my arm around her shoulder, feeling her bare skin beneath my fingers.

"Are you having fun?" She asks, her tone teasing as ever. I look at her out of the corner of my eye, and I suppose this could be way worse.

Not that that makes it any better.

"Tons."

My answer is incredibly short, but I'm distracted. I'm watching Blythe and Daniel talk with Cara, and I remember Cara's words that she knew him. I see him leaning in, smiling easily as Cara says something, and Blythe gulps down her wine with a sour look on her face. I feel Everly shift even closer in her seat, close enough I'm tempted to yank her onto my lap, but far enough away that I can't. I idly let my fingers wander down her side, when I feel hers find the waistband of my pants.

"How long do you want to stay here?" I ask, narrowing my eyes as Karl laughs loudly. He's sitting with Four and Tris, both looking slightly intoxicated, but so does everyone else. Everly's friends are shrieking with laughter, inching their way closer to him with every second, enjoying this party way more than me.

"We could leave after dessert?" Everly offers, and her fingers move beneath the waistband of my pants. They work their way down my boxers, and when her fingers find the bare skin of my thighs, I spread my legs wider without thinking. As though I'm completely fine with what she's doing, and my only real requirement to shake this shitty mood is this. Her hands, down my boxers, while everyone around us waits to eat cake.

"Unless you're feeling adventurous now..." Her voice is very innocent as she leans in to whisper in my ear, but her actions are not.

A second later she takes the length of me in her hand, squeezing tightly before stroking me up and down. My vision grows blurry, and all I can focus on is how smart I was to marry someone who would boldly decide she'd like to jerk me off beneath the table during our wedding anniversary dinner. That thought lasts a split second, because her hand starts to feel good, really good. My legs tense up every time her fingers graze the head of my dick, and it's nearly impossible to stop myself from thrusting into her hand.

Common sense tells me if I don't stop her, this really will be a party people don't forget.

"What are you doing, Everly?" I manage to grit the words through my teeth, and my hand has moved to the back of her neck. My fingers dig into her skin, both spurring her on and hoping she'll stop torturing me. "I hope you aren't starting something you can't finish, Amity."

I notice the blood rush to her cheeks as she does her best not to look at me.

"Don't worry, we're gonna finish this at home in bed, not in the middle of the compound." She finally looks at me with a pointed look, and I smirk at her. She slows down, one more slow and purposeful stroke that makes my jaw twitch, before she lets go of me. Her hand leaves my pants and I reach for her, roughly pulling her face toward me.

"Cute."

I mutter the word at her, unable to be anything other than amused that she'd even pull such a stunt. I kiss her quickly, more than willing to head home, but unable to stand up. So I kiss her some more, my lips pressing against hers firmly, growing more and more demanding, until someone stops by to bring us an oversized piece of chocolate cake.

Hours later, Everly is eating the last bite of cake.

We'd shared a piece, but she'd enjoyed it more. I'd sat there, willing the throbbing erection to die down so we could leave, but that proved impossible when Everly stared at me with each bite she took.

"Who's the woman from Erudite?" she asks, eventually handing me the fork.

My stare swings to Cara, still standing by Daniel and Blythe. She's listening to Daniel talk, but she's taking in everything around her. Her gaze finds Everly and I, and I notice her smile at Everly. I flash back to her saying she was hoping Everly would come by, and I can't help but notice the contrast between them. Cara has a sharpness to her that everyone in Erudite shares; a love for pristine, tailored clothing and clean, neat hair that announces how refined they are. How in control. Untouchable. Or how they believe themselves to be.

Everly, while dressed up in a form fitting dress, has more of a wildly romantic, often crushing softness to her. She is warm and small, easily forming herself right up against me, like she was meant to fit there. Even now, her hair falls against my arms, pretty waves that seem endless, and she's kicked off her high shoes. She looks up at me from beneath her eyelashes, her fingers finding my arm without looking.

Cara notices, too.

She seems to like Everly, or perhaps the idea of knowing her as my wife, and she smiles again.

"Cara," I announce, taking a bite of the cake. I have to admit it's better than what I've had before. "She's the newest leader of Erudite. She's smart, but she's also compassionate. Something Jeanine wasn't capable of being."

Everly nods, leaning in until her head can rest on my shoulder. I let her stay there, knowing that she's growing tired. Given her track record, I wouldn't be surprised if she fell asleep right then and there.

"Where's Ashley?"

Her question is quiet, both unbothered and bothered. She knew Ashley had worked for Jeanine, and the assumption that she would now work for Cara was one anyone would make.

Except not.

Cara was smart enough to see through Ashley's façade, and she'd immediately replaced her with people she could trust.

It was also highly unlikely she'd have shown up tonight. A while ago, sure. Ashley would have strutted in, deciding I was done with Everly and this was her shot to worm her way back into my life. But not now. Not after I'd refused to acknowledge her existence one final time.

"She was probably reassigned to work in another section. Cara will pick her own assistants, and I doubt Ashley would be someone she would choose." I pause when Everly lifts her head up, and I find myself smirking at her. "Were you waiting for her to drop off an anniversary present?"

She nods mockingly. "I'm still waiting. I'll give her until tomorrow."

Her words make me snort. There was no chance in hell Ashley would ever accept my marriage to Everly, and certainly no chance she'd come prancing in here with a gift for her.

Nor would we accept it. I think of this as I lazily glance around the room, following Everly's wandering stare. All around us, the party is going strong. People are everywhere, talking and catching up, happy to be celebrating. It's the first time in my existence that others are genuinely happy for me, even the ones who I'd never expect.

My eyes find Four and Tris, both having loosened up after a few drinks, and far more relaxed now that Andrew Prior wasn't hovering around. Four is listening to whatever Harrison's saying, and I would bet Harrison is about to ask him to join him outside. His expression is very stern, and it grows more intense when he points to something on his watch. Beyond that, my friends are at the bar, laughing loudly while Christina records Rylan taking shot after short of a bright green drink.

Next to them, Arlene is walking along with Andrew. I hadn't noticed them talking, but Andrew looks unscathed, and he throws Everly a bright smile. He throws the same one at me, and I'm hit with the oddest sensation that this was what it felt like to lead a normal life. To have people celebrate my successes, and that included my marriage to Everly. The feeling is like a blow to the stomach, a sense of normal, genuine happiness I've never experienced, and I'm thrown off.

Despite the insanity and chaos of all these people here, they'd come with the best intentions, not only for Everly, but for me as well.

I find myself grasping onto Everly tightly, and I realize I want to leave. I'm overwhelmed by the most basic niceness of why people came tonight. A niceness that wasn't commonly shared toward me, ever. It feels sticky, a little too good to be true, and I decide we will leave on this high note before things slide back to normal.

In the morning, I will return to hunting down the woman who kidnapped my wife, and Four will have one hell of a hangover.

"You want to head home?" I ask Everly, and she nods her head. I lean toward her, my head resting against hers, and I can almost feel the luxuriousness of the sheets I'm about to toss her onto.

"Whenever you are," Everly answers, and her fingers find mine.

Before either of us can move to leave, Max reappears, and the look on his face makes me lift my head away from Everly. He remains stoic as his eyes flash to Everly, and his lips press together in a frown. I catch sight of Harrison scrambling to his feet, and I know something is up.

His next words confirm my theory.

He bends down, and very quietly announces that Evelyn's been spotted.


	39. Guess who's back

Evelyn's been spotted.

Of course she fucking has.

As if my night couldn't get any better, Evelyn would decide to make her appearance now. I wonder if she, too, was in on these plans to make my night a living hell. If she'd been coaxed into appearing, either as a distraction, or perhaps by one of my friends so I could leave.

While that might be plausible, it's highly doubtful.

"Eric?" Max says my name again, and next to me, Everly shrinks into my side. I can feel her grow nervous, and she has every reason to. We're only talking about the very woman who'd arranged her kidnapping, erased her memory, and now wanted her dead. Her presence wasn't a good sign, and even if it meant I could leave this party, I certainly didn't appreciate it.

But I also wasn't that worried.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Harrison spring into action.

He leaps up and out of his chair, knocking Four's drink out of his hand. He gestures wildly, pointing at Four with great enthusiasm as Four scowls and wipes his pants off. Hours ago, Harrison had told me he'd spotted Evelyn. I hadn't fully believed him, for it was hard to believe anything from a man who had been on a quest to find the next Bigfoot. But it appears there was some truth to his words, and I watch him shoot me one very knowing look as he celebrates being right.

"Where?" I ask casually, and I make absolutely no move to join Harrison.

Max smiles, and he waves at someone watching him. "They caught her on camera. Heading toward the wall."

At this news, I find myself grinning for several reasons. It would seem that our plans to squeeze her out have worked. We'd made it nearly impossible for her to hide in any faction, and now she was being driven to find shelter where there was none.

Maybe this night was worth celebrating. I had been correct in assuming she'd eventually flee, and now it was finally happening. "Well, that certainly didn't take long."

Everly shifts in her seat, still listening. I watch Harrison show Four something, and Four frowns in response. I wonder if he's mentally calculating how many hours his mother has left to live or trying to figure out how Harrison knew. I want to tell him it's a lost cause. I'd long given up trying to figure out his methods, and it was usually far easier to just go along with what he was saying.

"Let her," I announce loudly, turning to Max. "She won't get past the guards who are stationed out there. When she surrenders, have them bring her to me."

Max nods his head, throwing one final look at Everly. She's quietly gazing up at me, concern all over her face, and I shake my head in reassurance.

"We've been expecting her. Almost every patrol squad has been looking for her."

"Oh," Everly lets out the breath she's been holding, and she nods. "So you don't have to go find her?"

I shake my head no, and I lean into her. I like that she didn't want me to leave, even if it meant finding her captor. I pull her closer, and Max announces he'll go let Harrison know this is all him.

Together, we watch him leave.

"Are you sure?" Everly asks, and her voice is strained.

"Positive."

Despite my utter irritation over this party, I refuse to let Evelyn ruin my night. She's taken enough from me, including time with Everly that I couldn't get back. But we have tonight, and we have enough men out there, waiting for her to walk right into them.

I pull on the ends of Everly's hair lazily, and the only thing I have left on my agenda is to take her home.

 

After talking with Max, Harrison leaves like he's caught fire.

He bolts from the room, tossing his tuxedo jacket right into Four's face, and he unnecessarily leaps over a few chairs. Someone shrieks as he crashes into them, knocking their tray of drinks to the floor and the poor server is left standing there with a stunned look on her face and a mess at her feet. She turns to yell at him, demanding he help clean up the mess he's made, but he's too fast.

Just like he'd arrived, he's gone. He disappears through the large wooden doors, leaving a trail of destruction in his wake. Four gingerly pulls the coat off him, dropping it onto the chair beside him. He throws me a dirty look, as though I'd paid Harrison to torture him as punishment for being rude to Blythe, and I roll my eyes at his entire existence.

It's then that I decide I've had enough.

While managing to find some gratitude over those who have shown up, I have had my fill of tonight. I decide we've spent far too much time here, and it's time we go home. I admit that Everly looks happy, her fingers on my arm and her head against my chest, and I know she'll look even happier when we get home.

"Come on."

I stand up from my seat, and I pull Everly with me. She immediately gets the hint that we're leaving, and she smiles widely. Her fingers slide through mine, and we carefully navigate our way around the table. I have every intention of taking her back home, and every intention of taking off the dress she's worn.

But she hesitates as we near the large doors, and her eyes are wide as they drift back over the crowd of guests. She fumbles with the decision to sneak out, torn between wanting to leave and wanting to say goodbye to those who came in her honor.

When her gaze finds Eden, I know why she's hesitating. Even with all her weird drinks and her potentially poisoning Everly, she's still her mother.

"I can wait," I nod at her, following her stare to the group of women talking. I'm not enough of an ass to drag her home without saying farewell.

Everly turns to look once more, and Eden is busy, caught up in whoever she's talking to and blissfully unaware of what's going on around her. Odds are, she wouldn't even notice if we left. She'd finish her conversation, Johanna would tell her it's time to leave, and back to Amity they'd go. She might miss Everly, but she wouldn't be that distraught over it. She'd be content with the fact that she got to celebrate with her tonight, in Dauntless.

She makes her decision without saying a word. Her fingers pull on mine, and I know Everly wants to say goodbye. I look past Eden, ready for Everly to head that way, when I see Daniel talking with Cara.

Blythe is absolutely nowhere to be found. Daniel and Cara are both smiling, and Cara looks relieved at the way her night has turned out. No doubt she's pleased she's gotten to see a bit of life in Dauntless, and even better, she's been awarded a highly sought-after position. She deserves it. She's spent most of her time socializing, and she's made huge headway talking with some of the other leaders. I had watched her exchange contact information, even with Andrew, and her efforts had paid off. Andrew seemed to really like her, and Jack was equally impressed. They both had talked with her at length, mostly Jack –pouring his ideas into her ear, but this put her light years ahead of Jeanine.

They'd found her approachable and trustworthy, which was what they'd been hoping for.

I look down when I feel Everly's hand tug on mine. She looks up at me expectantly, and her head tilts to the side. I should tell her no. That I've had enough of flower crowns, of strange items from Amity that I don't want in my apartment, and people touching me. But the look on Everly's face is hard to miss, and I decide I can wait three more seconds.

"Go say goodbye." I tell her. She looks up at me, nodding her head. Her hand pulls at mine again, and I realize she wants me to go with her. I don't think anyone is dying for me to say goodbye, but I follow along, willing to pretend to be civil.

We encounter Daniel first.

He's still discussing something with Cara, and I hear the word serum as we get closer. He listens while Cara asks him something, and it's obvious she has a lot of respect for him.

Everly's fingers tighten, making it hard for me to do anything but follow her. She heads right to Daniel, her sights set on him with an odd determination to say goodbye. He still owes her a few dinners, and I wasn't so sure he'd follow through with them. The first one had been on his terms, because he'd shown up as a surprise. I was doubtful anything he planned would actually come to fruition.

But he was here tonight.

As much as the mere sight of him aggravated me, I had to admit that he'd surprised me by being here. He'd taken a huge risk by drugging his wife, potentially ruining the sham of a marriage he had going on. When Blythe sobered up or came down from the high of whatever he'd given her, there would be hell to pay. She'd be absolutely livid at what he'd done, and it spoke volumes that he'd gone through with it, risking it all to come celebrate with us.

It didn't even begin to undo the years of disappointment, but it was something.

I suppose.

Daniel breaks away from Cara the minute he sees us walking toward him. He politely excuses himself, and he meets us halfway. He looks at me, slight surprise flashing across his face, but he forces his grin back into place. He doesn't know that we're leaving, and I enjoy letting him think I'm coming by to tell him to never come back.

Everly immediately ruins that plan.

"We just wanted to say goodbye." Everly announces, and Daniel's face brightens considerably at being chosen for such a courteous greeting. "We're going to head home, and we wanted to thank you for coming. You'll have to come to dinner soon."

Daniel's expression would be heartwarming if I had it in me. He looks beyond happy, a special kind of grin I've never seen on his face before, all because Everly wants him to come back. He's been successful in his mission to make her like him, even though I'd warned her otherwise.

"I'd love that. I'll make sure we're in touch." He nods his head at me, and his expression falters. There's a hint of awkwardness in his struggle to figure out what to say next. "Congratulations on your anniversary. I'm very happy I was able to be here tonight."

I want to tell him I'm sure he is, but my response dies in my throat. I don't have anything overly nice to say in return, so I say nothing. It's better this way, for all of us. He and I stare at each other, each waiting for the other one to speak, but we both stay silent. A second later, Everly lets go of me, and she steps toward him. Without an ounce of hesitation, she reaches out and takes hold of his arm. He looks down at her with a funny look, and she's hopeful when she speaks.

"Do you promise you'll come back for dinner?"

He smiles widely.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world."

He reacts without thinking.

He moves to hug her. I watch him carefully, and we're both aware how awkward the action is. He's far more used to helping people without getting close to them. There's a flash of discomfort on his face when he puts his arms around her, as he's never been overly affectionate. In fact, I couldn't remember him ever hugging anyone.

But he holds onto Everly tightly, her head against his chest and he looks overwhelmed. He's never had anyone other than his staff think so kindly of him, so this means more to him than Everly would ever know.

She lets go of him the second I announce my own goodbye.

"I'll call you sometime next week," I inform him, not looking at him. I stare over his shoulder, watching Rylan and Jason toast Quinten, and all I can think is he better answer his fucking phone. If he doesn't, and he leaves Everly wondering where he is and I have to be the one to witness her face fall, I'll make sure he pays.

"I look forward to it." Daniel answers, and he steps back. He shoves his hands in his pockets, taking one final glimpse at us, before he turns back to find Blythe.

"That was nice," Everly whispers, watching Daniel disappear back into the crowd.

"It was." I retort, guiding her to the other side of the room.

"I meant you saying goodbye." She smiles innocently, and I know what she's getting at. Unfortunately for her, it'll take more than Daniel showing up in a dinner jacket to make me see any effort on his part. I forget about him as we find a small circle of people, and I internally groan when I see they're almost all from Amity.

They turn to welcome us, especially Eden. She's watching Everly walk toward her, and she's beaming. Over the moon thrilled that her daughter is happy, yet also distraught that now Everly was leaving.

Once Everly is close enough, Eden immediately grabs her. She reaches out, looking like she might cry, and pulls her right against her like she'll never let go. Everly is instantly lost in the swirl of bright colors, but she gives in, allowing her to hold her. Her mother's hand finds her hair, grasping onto it with the same intense, desperation that I often found myself holding onto her with.

"You're leaving, aren't you? Oh, I just don't want this night to be over." I hear her mother talking, and her voice cracks as though she'll never see Everly again. I narrow my eyes, because really, Everly has free reign when it comes to visiting Amity. I might have made her promise to never go there, but we both knew I'd take her if she wanted me to.

"I swear you just left Amity, and here you are, in a whole other faction, married to one of the leaders."

"Mom." She must be struggling to breathe, because Everly tries to escape, doing her best to work her way free. I clear my throat to distract Eden, and it works.

"Sorry," Eden mutters, and she loosens her grip on Everly. "You'll come to visit, right? You and Eric can stay any time you'd like, for as long as you'd like."

I have to choke down the nasty retort I was about to say. There wasn't a chance in hell I'd want to stay in Amity any more than I already had, especially on the invitation of Eden. I'm sure it would involve plenty of activities I'd hate, and so would Everly. I'm sure Everly can feel the horror radiating off me, because she kisses her mother's cheek and nods her head. "We'll come visit," She promises, and I mentally add in a hundred years.

Eden nods tearfully, wiping at her eyes. She finally lets go enough that Everly can step back, and I immediately reach for her hand. I'm feeling oddly relieved at her mother's quietness. After everything that's gone on, it's starting to look like we might actually make it out without any further commentary.

"You two enjoy each other tonight. You have a lot to celebrate." Eden observes us standing together, and her eyes fall to the necklace around Everly's neck. "Actually, tonight is a great night for your anniversary. It's a full moon. It's one of the best nights for conception."

And there it is.

My grip tightens as a response to her words, and I'm fully prepared to pick up Everly and carry her out of here.

She seems fine with that.

"Uh, thank you," Everly answers, and her tone is horrified. Horrified that she'd been outed as someone who once drank a potion her mother made her, and horrified that her mother was suggesting we head home to try and conceive a child. "Ummm…"

We're all saved by Johanna. Her common sense must have kicked in, and she steps in between Eden and Everly. She offers her a quiet congratulations, throwing me one very strained smile, rudely not over me storming through her faction, but willing to put that aside for some cake. She then pulls Eden back a step and guides her toward the table where their belongings are.

Eden looks over her shoulder, throwing us one more weepy stare. "I'll see you both soon!" She calls out loudly, and Everly looks anywhere but at me.

"Oh my God." She exhales, unprepared for her mother's continued reproductive support.

"I'm not going to visit and I certainly am not going to drink any magic tea," I bend down to declare the words at her, refusing to ever set foot in Amity again.

Everly does her best not to laugh, but she fails. "Let's go. Before she comes back with something to enhance your performance tonight."

I make a face, imagining all the things Eden would probably love for us to take. I decide we are done saying goodbye, and this is really all I can handle. I lead Everly out of the room, through the maze of tables, and to the large doors. We stand there for a second, her and I, staring at each other. She takes a second to look back around the room, all our friends and family still together, still going strong, and she smiles.

I smile back at her, stupidly, before we head home.

 

 

We make it home in record time.

It's clear Everly is just as done with this night as I am. Maybe it was her mother proudly informing everyone around that she hoped her daughter would fall pregnant, or maybe it was Rylan's speech, nearly announcing we'd been sleeping together since she arrived here, but whatever the case was, she sighs in relief when we walk through the door.

She lingers behind me, and I can feel her gaze on my back as I make my way to the bedroom. There is the paperwork on the counter I'd had her sign, and I can hear her flip through it, trying to decipher what it was. I smile as I lose my dinner jacket, and I kick off my pants in the bathroom. My reflection looks pleased at what's about to unfold; my hair is mostly in place, and so is the smirk on my face. I know that in a moment, Everly will follow me in here, and the two of us will celebrate our wedding night the same way we did last year.

It feels good, accomplished as ever, that she'd been here with me for a year. That Everly existed in my life as more than just someone who shared my bed. Occasionally I let myself wonder what life would have been like without her, but it's always too uncomfortable to envision. I have her, and that's all I can think about.

It's what I think about when I find her standing by the bed, watching me with an amused look on her face.

"Where are your pants?" She asks, staring at my boxers curiously. She looks perplexed that I'd discarded them so easily, but I have plans that are too important to waste time finding a hanger.

I watch her intently; she reaches behind her to try and grasp the zipper on her dress, but there's no way she's getting it off herself.

"I won't be needing them anymore." I announce, fully remembering that not too long ago, she'd had her hand down said pants. I walk up behind her, and I reach for the zipper myself. It pulls down smoothly, fancily made by Christian without even knowing who'd be purchasing it, and a second later, the entire back is open. Her pale skin is exposed to me, and she steps out of it carefully.

Unlike my pants, she neatly folds up the dress, smoothing out the fabric with great care. "I have to find the hanger. I don't want it to end up like your pants."

I snort.

There are far better things we could be doing than hanging up our clothes.

"Later." I close the space between us, my arms wrapping around her waist and my nose finding her hair. I move it out of the way, kissing the back of her neck, lolling in the sensation of how warm and soft she is. Everly leans back against my chest and tilts her head to the side so I have better access.

"Do you remember how we celebrated our wedding night?" She asks, giggling as my nose touches right beneath her ear.

"How could I forget." I mumble, closing my eyes for a split second. I rarely forgot anything, but we'd celebrated our marriage in my bed, with her beneath me, wide eyed and groaning my name. I hadn't been as slow or sweet to her as someone else would have, but it had felt right. I was lost in how badly I wanted her, and in turn, we'd barely slept. But I'd made sure she was satisfied, enjoying the way her skin was pink when we were done, and her eyes closed when her head found my chest. "Do you want to recreate it?" I sit down on the bed, pulling her onto my lap, and her feet leave the floor.

"I don't know. I am a little tired from all that partying," She answers, squirming as my hands trail up her side. I kiss her where her shoulder and neck meet, and my fingers trace their way up her ribs. Her tone is teasing, warm and low as my fingers touch the fabric of the strapless bra she has on.

"I'll wake you up. You can sleep when we're done celebrating." I offer, pulling away from her to take off my shirt. It takes seconds to undo the buttons, and another second to toss the undershirt to the side. Everly stays still on my lap, her feet against my shins, and I take my time. My fingers work up her back, tracing up her spine, until I find the clasp of her bra. I unhook it without much effort, and it joins my shirt.

She leans back without hesitation; her bare skin resting against my chest, and I slide my arms around her waist. We sit like this, on our bed, my head bent forward to rest against hers. One year ago today, she signed papers joining her life with mine. This last year hasn't been easy, in fact, it's often been uncomfortable as she worked to unwrap everything I'd never planned on sharing with anyone. But those moments paled in comparison to the ones where I found myself drowning in her, in what we had. Where the only thing I could focus on was how it felt to be with her, the realization of my feelings both terrifying and intoxicating. I think of this now, her tiny frame wrapped in my arms, and I realize I am lucky.

Lucky Four didn't want to train her.

Lucky Max pushed her right into my arms.

Lucky she fell right into them without question.

"Happy Anniversary, Amity," I murmur in her ear, and I can feel her smile. She sort of pushes back against me, her skin warming at the name, the only thing I'd called her for weeks. Her real name had slipped out when I couldn't help myself, always sounding forbidden, like something I shouldn't call her.

"Happy Anniversary, Eric." She answers, her words honest and quiet. I kiss her again, slowly making my way down her shoulder, my actions not my own. Even now, after all this time, she did something to me. Made my brain disconnect itself from the defensiveness I preferred. It wasn't that I had lost the selfishness I was used to, it was that I turned it to her, high off the idea that the only thing that mattered was her and I.

"I always thought you were pretty." I confess, slow and on purpose, and she freezes. My mouth trails over her skin, familiar and salty and lovely. I stand up, moving her to the side so she doesn't fall, and I glance down at her. She is quite the sight, still covered by her dark hair, blinking up at me. Her large, green eyes ever patient, ever lustful as they drop from my collarbone, down to the waistband of my boxers. "Pretty enough that I didn't care that you couldn't seem to figure out which room was yours."

"You didn't seem to mind." She grins, her hands reaching for me. I give into her immediately; I bend over her, my forehead touching hers, and her hand slides behind my neck. She pulls me down closer, until her lips touch mine.

"I didn't," I mumble, pushing her back into the mattress. "Though I did think of all the things I would have liked to do with you while you were in it."

She doesn't answer me, because she can't. I think of all the things I wanted to do, all the intricate, drawn out fantasies that had run through my mind while she slept. How many cold showers I'd taken. How many mornings I'd woken, furious at myself for allowing my body to react to her against me.

I think of how small she had felt that first time I'd pulled her close to me, showing her how to fight. How small she'd felt the first night she'd curled herself to sleep against me. The first time I'd slept with her. How small I had felt, when she had all the power in the world over me, and I had none. How I'd struggled to allow myself to get close to her, torn between getting what I wanted, and giving in to what I wanted.

I think of this now, as my hand works itself into her hair, to cup the back of her neck. I kiss her, thinking of how I'd warned her I wasn't someone who could be nice to her, yet here I was. Biting at her lips, soft and full, with every intent of taking my time.

"Am I supposed to be gentle?" I break away from her, ever reluctant, but pushed on by the urge to kiss her everywhere. I return to her neck, her shoulder, the sharp slant of her collarbone. The pale expanse of skin between there and the top of her breast. The softness of her against my lips, the warmth of her fingers against mine. "I know that's how you like it."

She shakes her head, but her gaze is all too knowing.

My words are just as teasing as hers had been, and even more telling. With the exception of a few times, I'd found myself never rushing anything with her. Even the first time I'd slept with her, I'd held her against me, achingly desperate to see her face. To see her say my name as she came. To see that I was the one who'd brought her such bliss.

Years ago, I would have found myself laughable.

Slowed down and unhurried, more concerned about how she was than myself. Watching her fall apart as her hips rocked against mine, as her legs tightened against my own, as she arched against me, her eyes closing and her lips open, that had become my focus. It no longer mattered that it was preceded by my lips against hers, my fingers threaded between hers, as I hovered over her.

I enjoyed every moment of it right along with her, but I had no clue what it was like to share this with her. To connect on a level such as this, just like right now.

Her fingers pull my head back to her, and it's not long before her delicate underwear joins my boxers. I thrust into her slowly, purposely drawing this out, and it's better than fine.

It's dizzyingly maddening, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

 

 

I wake up to laughter.

To someone shrieking at their own hilarity, in my apartment.

My eyes open to dim lighting, but the clock next to me is blinking twelve thirty. I'm temporarily confused, unsure if it's the middle of the night or the afternoon, and I sit up slowly. I rub my eyes as I reach for my phone, and the slew of messages informs me that I've slept the entire morning away.

I stare at it in surprise.

I'd never been one to waste my time in bed, though Everly and I had spent most of last night awake. I'd found myself satisfied but wanting more. Every time she settled against me, her naked body pressing right up against mine, it started all over again. A rush of arousal, followed by a rashly humorous lack of self-control on both our parts. I had no way of knowing how many times she blurted out my name, and I groaned hers, but enough that I'd missed half the day.

I climb out of bed slowly, not entirely awake and I grab the first shirt I can find. I pull my boxers on, and after pushing my hair out of my eyes, I walk out into the living room.

I'm momentarily confused by the sight before me. It's the overdose of sleep and lack of caffeine, but I swear Everly is sitting on the couch, surrounded by dozens of gifts. Across from her are Jason and Rylan, looking all too pleased at the arrangement in front of them. I catch the end of the conversation going on as Rylan questions where I am, and Jason immediately follows suit.

"Up late celebrating?" Jason inquires, sounding all too smug. "We brought the flowers your mother so sweetly picked out for you. Eric seems to have left his on the table. Poor guy must have been in a hurry something fierce to forget such a stunning arrangement."

"Go fuck yourself, Jason."

I bark the words at him, rubbing my eyes as I walk toward the couch. The sight of them isn't entirely unexpected, but it's a jarring contrast first thing out of bed. I glare at him while I run my fingers through my hair, having no real desire to go comb it right now. "You like the flowers so much, you can wear them."

Rylan laughs. He's brought coffee with him, and he, too, looks smug. "They are your colors, Jason."

Jason pretends to debate this, then he looks right at me and winks. "It would be a crime to take them away from you."

I ignore all of them.

I flop down on the couch next to Everly, taking up most of the space. My leg rests against her, and she's far too pretty and clean looking considering I've just gotten up. I look at the boxes and bags in confusion, each one decorated in an interesting manner, and I squint at them like they're a trap. "What are those?"

"They're anniversary presents," Everly answers. She points to the mess of them, strewn across the table. "Everyone seems to have brought one. Jason and Rylan dropped them all off for us."

"You didn't even thank us for lugging all this shit up here. Max made us stay behind to clean up while you and your delightful wife snuck out." Jason sounds put out at having to clean up, and I smirk at Max making them stay behind to carry all this up here. "We should get to pick out a gift for all of our hard work."

"Find your own wife and have your own party," I retort, and I lean back. I drape my arm along the back of the couch, behind Everly, and I eye the gifts again. A few are interesting, the ones from Dauntless at least. My stare falls to the one at the edge of the table, wrapped with what appears to have been live flowers and weeds.

Clearly from Eden.

"Actually, feel free to take that one."

Everly elbows me, but she's smiling when she looks at me.

"I'm kind of afraid to open hers," she confesses, shaking her head. "I can't imagine what she thought we'd want."

I decide we'll never open it. With my luck, it's something horrifying. Something meant to be thoughtful but crossing the boundaries of all social conduct. "You guys can definitely take that one."

"Is that one from your mom, Everly? That woman was the highlight of the party. She told me she had some all natural teas that I should try instead of coffee. Said it would give me a natural high," Jason announces. He looks like he's contemplating it, and I suddenly regret not spending more time with him. When he dies, poisoned by Eden's tea, I will make sure I find it within me to utter a few nice words.

Everly immediately shakes her head. "Don't drink that. Please."

Rylan laughs loudly, nudging Jason as he encourages him on. "You be the test subject. Let us know how high you feel after you drink it."

"Try it with me. We might feel better than ever. She said it was all natural," Jason is defensive, and he crosses his arms over his chest. "I'll order some. When I feel better than you and your vegan muffins, we'll see who's laughing."

"You two are idiots," I decide, ignoring their argument. Rylan continues to egg Jason on, until Jason has had enough. He hits him, hard, and Rylan finally relents, rubbing his arm in mock pain.

"You guys have anything planned for the day? Christina and I were gonna get dinner around five." Rylan cheerfully invites us to join him, and Jason sulks next to him. I trace my fingers over Everly's neck, never having more of a desire to stay home than now.

Everly doesn't know this. She shrugs her shoulders, good with whatever we decide to do, and leans into me. Her hair smells good, like flowers that aren't dead and tied around a gift, and I shake my head.

"We have plans. Maybe next time."

Rylan nods and Jason suddenly sits up as if he's just remembered something. "We gotta bounce. Max said we're supposed to leave you alone and not update you on whatever Evelyn's up to. We're also supposed to send someone so Peter can take his lunch."

Rylan agrees, bouncing his leg up and down at the thought of lording Peter's lunch break over him. "We should go. And we still have to make sure Karl got his latest orders."

The two of them stand up, their gazes falling to the gifts on the table. I nod at the one Eden has brought, and despite my more than generous offer, neither of them take it.

"We'll catch you later." Rylan grins, and they head out. They both leave quickly, laughing at something as my apartment door slams shut.

Everly leans back against me, resting her head on my chest. I close my eyes as she gets comfortable, enjoying the silence. It's quiet and warm, and there's a sense of being anywhere but in the middle of Dauntless. I let myself enjoy all of it –the weight of Everly against me and the luxury of having nothing to do. My fingers skate over her, lazing up her arm, over her collarbone, and beneath the chain of the necklace. She'd left it on last night, our initials occasionally pressing against my skin as she hovered over me.

"Do I even want to know what your mother got us?" I tease her, and she shakes her head.

"No." She squirms away from me and looks up. Her eyes are both bright and warm, fixed on me. I smile at her, again the action unconscious, and I can't help but think how pretty she looks.

As well as suspicious.

"What are you going to ask me?"

"You aren't curious what Evelyn is doing? Or what the newest update is?" She looks at me intensely, accustomed to my normal reactions. I'd normally toss her off my lap, head into the office, and spend the day with a patrol squad. I wouldn't rest until I had some answers, even just a single strand of information that put me closer to finding her.

But not today.

"She's taken up enough of my time. She can wait."

I touch her cheek, watching her face relax at my words, and I close the distance between us. I kiss her soundly, pulling her back with me, until her worry is long gone.

We forget about the gifts, waiting to be unwrapped. About Jason and his tea, and his upcoming heart palpitations. About Evelyn, foraging for shelter, like the rat she was.

It's her and I, and no one else.

 

 

On Tuesday, Arlene calls me.

I answer, only because I'm bored with listening to Harrison speak Dorthraki, though he's almost convinced me to watch the series he's been raving about. It's not at all his accent, or the strange language that has my interest piqued, but the brutal violence and battle scenes he keeps bringing up, as though that would convince me. I reluctantly agree to give it a try, knowing since it contains no dinosaurs or warlocks or ghosts, Everly will hate it.

I sit back in my chair and listen to Arlene squawk in my ear, fully expecting this to be about Evelyn.

But it's not.

It's about Everly.

For once, I simply listen without butting in. I had no clue Everly wasn't feeling well, and I feel a speck of odd, burning guilt that I wasn't there when she went down to the infirmary. Given her feelings toward Arlene, she must have felt like total garbage to trek down there without me.

"Is she alright?"

Harrison watches me carefully, only looking up when Rylan arrives. He takes the seat next to Harrison, and he stays quiet when Harrison points to me on the phone.

"Arlene." I bark her name, because she's gone silent. Rylan and Harrison both lean forward, putting their elbows on their knees, waiting and listening to see how this turns out.

"Is she alright?" I ask again, this time, through gritted teeth. I gesture for them to get the fuck out of my office, but neither move.

"Yes," Arlene answers slowly. "She just had really bad cramps."

"How did she have cramps?" I ask, wondering if she'd gone to work. I flash back to when I'd made her join me for weight training, and she'd nearly died with every workout. "Was she with Four?"

"Not those kind of cramps." Arlene snaps, and it hits me why she's in such a shitty mood.

"Why are you calling me to tell me she has cramps? Did you give her something? Did you tell her to go home and lie down?" I look at Rylan, busy scrunching up his face like he's considering this situation with great thought, and Harrison, cocking his head at me. Neither of them leaves, and I give up on having any sort of privacy in my own fucking office.

"She has cramps." Rylan repeats, his tone dramatic and low. "Alert the faction. Everly Coulter needs to go lie down."

I roll my eyes at him, though I agree. This wasn't exactly a phone call I needed, considering there wasn't a thing I could do about Everly having cramps.

Ironically, given all our time training together, and having been given a single female initiate, I hadn't dealt with anyone having menstrual cramps. Even when I oversaw Four's training class, I'm sure most would rather have stabbed themselves in the face than explain that as their reasoning for needing to go to the nurse. Because of who I was, I probably would have mocked them, but I wasn't an idiot. I knew what cramps were.

But Everly is different. I feel more than a twinge of worry that she's alright, and I wonder if I need to go find her.

"Yes, she'll be fine. She just left." Arlene exhales in my ear, and I grow even more irritated at her phone call.

"Why are you calling me about this? Did she tell you to call me? Is it newsworthy that she has them?" I glare at both Rylan and Harrison, even though they have nothing to do with this. Rylan is nodding sympathetically, and Harrison has his eyes closed as he continues to practice his made up language. "What's the issue here? I don't need an update on- "

I'm cut off by Arlene, far more dramatic than I've ever heard her.

"She and I spoke at length for a while. If you remember our conversation from earlier, you'll probably have figured out that she's not..."

She pauses, and I realize why she's calling me.

"Pregnant." I blurt out, and Harrison's eyes fly open.

Rylan's eyes are already open, but he almost falls off the chair as his gaze turns to me.

This entire phone call makes sense now. So does Arlene's depressed tone, as well as the hope of kidnapping my potential child.

"No. She's not." Arlene agrees flatly.

I shake my head at them, reaching for the paper in front of me. "You're calling me to express your displeasure that my wife is not pregnant. Is that what I'm getting?" I take the paper, a print out from Max, and I skim it with great displeasure. "You realize this is none of your business, right? And I swear, if you tried to make her feel bad about this-"

She cuts me off, her voice oddly strained. "I didn't try to make her feel bad. I just thought you might want to know the tea didn't work."

"Well no shit the tea didn't work." I retort, and Rylan snickers. "If it worked, we would have been having a very different conversation, a year ago." I motion for Rylan to pick up the papers, waiting for him and Harrison to look at them.

She makes an impatient sound in my ear, and so does Rylan. He looks pained at the papers, sliding them back with zero enthusiasm.

"I would have preferred that one."

Arlene's answer is oddly telling, but for once, I don't have it in me to argue with her. I know, that despite her odd way of going about it, and her over the top invasive nature, all she wants is for Everly and I to be happy. To have some sort of family together, one that she can pretend she's responsible for. If I think about it from that angle, she's looking out for me in a way someone from my actual family should have.

Unfortunately, it's way too in my business for my liking. Arlene had a way of injecting herself into my life when I didn't need her to, making it hard for me to fathom discussing anything with her. But I'd tried. I'd unconsciously sought out her help a few times. She was the first person I'd brought Everly to when she had lost her memories, but in moments like this, the idea of moving far, far away from Arlene sounds very appealing.

"Well…" I pause, and Rylan and Harrison stand up. They both share an oddly disappointed grimace, and I stare at them intently while they silently leave. Rylan throws me a pointed look, desperate to know how this turned out, but I shake my head.

It seems that making an announcement that Everly was my wife had led people to believe they were free to know all the details of my personal life. That they now believed I wanted to share such information with all of them, including whether or not Everly was pregnant. I didn't mind telling Rylan a few things, but God only knew what Harrison would do with such information.

"Maybe you should get checked. It can't be her. She's young and healthy. I think it's you." Arlene interrupts, and my brain implodes upon itself.

"Me? Why me?" I hiss, and she swears at someone who's barged in her office. "There's nothing wrong with me."

"Your father might know someone. I could call him." She starts, and I decide this is it. I will have her murdered. My life here has become too good for me to get my hands dirty, so the next time Four pisses me off, I will kill Arlene and pin it on him. It wouldn't be hard to do.

"You know what, I'm done. Don't call me ever again."

I violently press end call, and I sit back in my desk chair.

My father.

I hate when she calls him that, trying to force this family upon me that had never given me two seconds of their time. If we really wanted to get technical, he might have been my father biologically, but in the same thinking I'd spent more time with Max than him, and at least if Max forgot to meet up with me, it wasn't because he was working.

Far from it.

He'd also never suggested I see a doctor because my wife wasn't pregnant when Arlene wanted her to be.

I sit there seething, until someone knocks on my door.

"Yes." I snarl at whoever dares come to interrupt me, and I figure it can only be Rylan. Probably back to ask me something stupid, and I'm in no mood for that.

"Hey, it's me."

To my surprise, it is not Rylan, but the very topic of discussion. Everly walks in with her eyes right on me, and a funny look on her face. She's dressed casually, like she'd gone down to the infirmary in a hurry, and she doesn't look sick. Maybe paler than normal, but that was what happened when you descended into the depths of hell in search of pain relief.

"Are you alright?" I cock my head to the side, observing her up and down. I look at her like I'll see some sign announcing the very reason Arlene called. "You look…apprehensive."

She smiles, doing her best to appear cheerful. "I just thought I'd come see what you were doing."

I nod my head at her, not pushing her to explain anything. She won't know that Arlene called me, and I won't share that. I have a feeling it would make her feel shitty, knowing there was a grown woman in Dauntless, hyperventilating because she wanted a pseudo-grandchild. I could only imagine the tragic look on her face as she gave Everly something to ease the pain she was in, rather than a pregnancy test.

"I'm reading over an email from Max. Have you checked yours today?" I watch her walk toward me, only partially lying. Before everyone in the world wandered in here, I had been reading an email, though not the one on my screen. I quickly skip ahead to the next message, a wordy one from Max.

Everly looks panicked for a second. She pushes her hair back and shakes her head guiltily. "I forgot."

I look up at her, and her face is wracked with worry. Her emails aren't that big of a deal. She wouldn't be sent anything that wasn't sent to me, but I was curious if she'd read this one for a few reasons. It's obvious she's distracted, and there is no doubt Arlene said something to her, something unnecessary and invasive, and I don't know why I expected anything else.

"Okay. Come read mine." I gesture for her to walk around my desk, and a second later, she's on my lap. I slide my arm around her waist, and I click on the email so it fills the screen. She reads it quickly, tilting her head as she nears the bottom.

"You and Number Boy are set to head out on a field trip." I announce, and my grip on her tightens. "You, he, and Lauren are taking the class to the fence. And if I remember correctly, I forbade you to leave the compound without me."

She sinks against me, chewing on her cheek as she thinks over what I've said.

I'd read the email an hour ago, and I know I'm being petty. My reasoning for her not leaving had originally stemmed from me not wanting her to wander into Amity, but after being kidnapped, it would be irresponsible of me to not be concerned. I knew she was smart. She'd been trained to fight and she was confident in her abilities.

But she was far smaller than the initiates heading out there, and she was just exactly who Evelyn and her army would love to stumble upon. I could see the triumph on Evelyn's face when she found her, alone, lagging behind the class or with Four looking out for her. He wouldn't be able to keep an eye on all the initiates and her. She'd be ripped away from me again, and I don't know if I'd survive another month of wondering if she were alive.

I'm also very aware this is Everly's job, and she's expected to go. Max's email hints that it's important, though I'd first thought this was a joke. He knew of our security concerns, so this could only mean he was being pressured to keep up appearances. If our faction felt like we were trying to hide from Evelyn, then we were cowards. Parading her in broad daylight would be brave. Stupid, but brave.

"Lauren will be there, too." She bargains quietly, and I shake my head. With the way things had worked out, Lauren would probably shove Everly face first at the factionless if she got the chance.

She stares at the computer screen, and eventually, she pushes herself back against my chest.

"I know I told you I'd stay here. But this would be safe. It's part of my job. And Lauren and Four…"

"What about Four would make you feel remotely safe? The part where he trained his mother's factionless army to kill? Or the part where he got you kidnapped?" It might be the stress of this day, but I find myself snarling at her, rehashing an old argument that still felt very valid to me.

But to Everly, it's already in the past. She's moved on, not bothering to hold onto this traumatic event that no longer served her. Every so often, like now, I'm reminded of her optimistic nature. Her ability to see the best in every situation, no matter the odds. But I can't bring myself to see things her way, not while her life is on the line.

For the umpteenth time.

"You know he didn't do that on purpose, Eric." She turns to look at me, and I shake my head again. No matter how many times she forgives him, I won't. I will hold this over his head forever. I glare at her, at long eyelashes and green eyes and I know this is a losing battle. Despite everything he did to aid in her kidnapping, she has forgiven him.

For reasons I can't comprehend, and perhaps never will.

Before I can say anything, she leans in, kissing me gently. Her lips touch mine sweetly, soft and cold, and I'm onto her distraction tactics.

I kiss her for a split second, then jerk away and meet her disappointed stare.

"I'll just go with you." I decide, and that solves this dilemma. Four won't be happy, and neither will Lauren, but I don't care. I'll make sure Everly stays alive, and it might be somewhat enjoyable to get some fresh air. This way, if anyone needs to die, I can ensure it's on my watch.

"What?" Her eyes are wide with surprise, amused that I'd even offer such a thing. "You would willingly go to the fence with the training class?"

I nod at her. "I don't trust you out there with anyone but me. And since this is part of your training and I know you're going to argue to the death about this…" I shrug, smiling as her lips turn up the slightest. "I'll just go along, too."

It's brilliant.

I give zero fucks about the training class but I'll get minor satisfaction watching them scamper out of my way. It might be a fun time for all, after all.

"You'll get to train your class, and I'll make sure you come home the same Everly who left here — with your memory intact." I declare, and she looks relieved. "No one will even notice I'm there."

"Alright," she answers slowly, staring right at me. "They'll be excited you're joining us."

I roll my eyes.

I exit from the email on the screen, and I'm about to suggest I walk Everly home when someone knocks on the door. I look at it suspiciously. It's more than likely Max, but with today's track record, it might as well be Satan herself, reappearing to shove a contraception tracker in my face.

"Oh good, I'm expecting Max, though he's oddly early."

Everly slides off my lap just as the door opens. Max walks through, oddly prepared and oddly enthused to see Everly in here. He grins at her and waves the folders in his hands at me.

"Everly. Afternoon."

"Hi, Max." She answers cheerfully. I take the papers from him, but it's a report I've already seen. It's Harrison's recap from when he went to look for Evelyn by the wall, along with a bill to have his tuxedo pants dry cleaned. I had pointed out he had plenty of time to change, and I'd sent it to Max, unwilling to argue with a man over his laundry.

"How'd it go with Harrison?" I watch Max lower himself into the chair in front of my desk, and he shrugs. We both knew there was nothing going on further than his last efforts to find Evelyn, and I'd spent half my day with him.

"Fine. Nothing new to report as of now." Max looks at me, then Everly, and smiles. Widely. "Everly, I didn't get your response to the email I sent out. I was just reminding you that as part of our training it would be beneficial for you to finish up with Four's class. Including this trip."

I glare at him. He thinks he sounds smart, but there's not a chance in hell I'm trusting Four with my wife.

"I did read it. I'll be there…" She trails off, and she looks at me.

"I told her I'd go with her," I announce brightly, like I just loved the idea.

"You're volunteering to go with the training class to the fence — you think Four needs help watching his class?" Max leans back, and he's smirking at me like he knows that I'll get enjoyment out of this one way or another.

"No. I'm going to make sure my wife returns to Dauntless at the end of the day." I stare at him, reaching for Harrison's report. I squint at it, realizing he's written it in another language. "I don't care what happens to Four or his class."

"You know this isn't optional for Everly. Someday she'll take her own class out there. And what will you do if you aren't able to just drop everything and join her?" Max keeps talking, and I realize this is my punishment for pissing off Arlene. I hadn't knocked up Everly on the schedule she liked, and now, I would suffer.

"I'll be fine you know." Everly announces, her hands now on her hips. "It's just a trip to the fence. With two of the other trainers. And the entire training class."

I stare at her, her tiny self, looking rather defiant. She's adorable, really. All of five feet tall, thinking I'd be fine with letting her flounce off to the fence with a man I hated. I observe her like I don't know her, taking in her long, shiny hair, her pretty face, and the fact that she's easy to pick up. The fact that there were plenty of people out there who'd love to get their hands on her and wouldn't be deterred by Four and his sulky frown.

"She won't go without me. Ever."

Max laughs, fully expecting my response. "Well, okay then. I guess there will be one more body along for the ride to the fence." He winks at me and slaps his palms on the arm rests. "Alright, I'll leave you two alone. I only needed to confirm that Everly would be on the trip."

He stands up, and nods at both of us. "Have a good day."

"Bye, Max." Everly watches him leave, and she turns to me. "You're really going to come along? Don't you hate…Four and the fence?"

"Yes. I hate both, equally." I answer, and I reach for her hand. I turn it over, until I can see the ring on her finger, and I slide it to the side, then back to the middle. "But I promised I'd keep you safe. And I don't intend on breaking that promise."

She smiles at me, hopefully understanding my logic on this.

She might not, but that was okay.

I wasn't letting Evelyn anywhere near her, so long as I was breathing.


	40. Esperanza

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are reading The Outtakes, this chapter has an outtake that matches! They are posted on FF.NET. It's Arlene's POV and it's one that's been a long time coming!

"Alegra Ivezh"

Harrison looks at me, and I look at him.

I can't muster the energy to glare at him, so I simply stare, wondering who I'd pissed off enough that he was my partner for today.

"It's how you say 'wild duck' in Dorthraki." He steps over a giant fallen tree, and looks back at me, perhaps expecting I'd be impressed.

I'm not.

"Well that'll come in handy." I bark, stomping over the dead leaves and following him deeper into the woods. "When we come across that wild duck population we've been looking for."

He smiles, cocking his head to listen to something in the distance and I close my eyes tightly.

We'd been out here for a few hours.

I'd left everything in Dauntless to accompany him: my wife, warm and pretty and sulky when she realized I was getting up to leave and not to make her coffee. My office, also warm –too warm, but quiet. My friends, happily eating breakfast in my warm office, looking at me sympathetically as I prepared to head out.

I had been sent to accompany Harrison as we went to check on a spot close to the wall. Max had made the decision on his own, reminding me that out of anyone, I'd be the most invested in finding Evelyn, and also silently announcing that someone should see what Harrison was doing, and it wasn't going to be him.

And after he'd thrown me a party, I owed him.

So, I went.

I laced up my boots, kissed Everly's forehead goodbye, and found Harrison waiting for me. We'd driven far north and parked by a thickly forested area. We were both armed, me more so than him, and we walked silently for the most part. Fifteen minutes in, we saw signs that someone had possibly been here. A half hour in, we found where she may have been camping. Forty-five minutes in, I realized this was a lost cause. These woods were huge and expansive, and there were only two of us. I messaged Rylan to have surveillance shifted to this area, but I held off on forcing patrols through here. If she was out here, she'd be looking for us. The more noise we made, the easier it would be for her to hide.

Or try to kill us.

We made it a good two miles from the wall when Harrison began talking about the show he'd been watching, again, and I stopped listening. I kept surveilling the land in front of me, waiting for something else. A mistake she'd made, knowing this was too far out, even for her.

But there was none.

The trail we'd followed had come to a dead stop, and out here, there was less surveillance than ever. I hadn't seen a single camera in a while and unease pricked at my neck. I felt like we should get out of here, and my gut was usually right.

"Maybe we could fly a drone out here. That might work."

I look over at Harrison, his obsession with talking about thrones and kingdoms coming to a halt, and he's realizing the same thing I am.

"We're too far out for anyone to see us. I think if we find Evelyn out here, she might manage to kill us. Because we don't know where we're going, but she does. She's leading us to her." He theorizes while he walks, then comes to a stop, pointing to a stream. "Use that as your landmark. We'll send some teams this way. Otherwise, we risk getting shot to death."

"I agree." I answer immediately, happy to retreat back to Dauntless. All the signs were right, but something still felt wrong. "We'll see what we can do about surveilling the wall. Maybe the technology department can help."

"I think that would be wise." Harrison catches up with me, his camouflage jacket and hat blindingly offensive. "Hey, did you enjoy your party? You looked pretty happy at one point."

I glance over at him, and I shake my head.

"Were you behind it? Was it your idea to plan that?" For a brief second I wonder if it was him. After all, he was insane enough to think I would want to celebrate in such a manner.

"What, fuck no. I told them you didn't deserve shit."

I smile, laughing to myself as he shakes his head at me.

"I like Esperanza, though." He pauses when I raise an eyebrow at him, and he winks. "I know her real name is Everly. But I like Esperanza better. I dated a girl named Esperanza once. Or something close to that. Started with an E. She was from Amity. Kinda looked like your wife. Anyway, it was a wild time in my life. I think of her often. Mostly at night."

I look at him out of the corner of my eye, unwilling to connect the dots he's drawing for me.

"Stop talking." I announce, and I shove a few tree branches out of the way. "I don't want to hear about that."

"You should." He warns, and for a moment, I fear he will tell me something horrific that I'll never be able to unhear. "But I'll spare you the details. Everly," he emphasizes her name mockingly, "seems lovely. Not many would be brave enough to try and date you. Let alone get you to marry them."

I smirk at him, laughing to myself that really, it was the other way around.

"I like her hair, too. Shame you ripped that flower crown out of it. You two really could have had some fun. I would know."

"Alright, go back to talking about ducks or you're walking back." I inform him, but he smirks right back at me. He's fairly quiet for the rest of our walk back, only speaking to tell me he's excited to teach Everly about war tactics.

I stop in my tracks, having completely forgotten that at some point, she'd be training with him – our ducking hunting, made up language speaking, and all around generally confusing Harrison.

I find myself shrugging, because after all, she wanted to come to Dauntless, and some things were out of my hands.

 

 

The next few days are quiet.

Harrison works with Peter and Karl, working to find a way to stretch security to the furthest boundaries possible. I stay in my office, having no desire to head back out there. I spend my time wisely, trying to accomplish as much as I can in as little time as possible. I answer a few questions from Cara, and I find myself emailing Jack off and on. He's just as invested in our alliance as before, though this time, he hints he'd like to branch out even further. I glare at my email as I tell him fine, go ahead and try to email Andrew Prior, but good fucking luck getting a reply from a man who doesn't believe in computers.

I answer Arlene's single email, vaguely and terribly sort of almost apologizing for being upset that Everly wasn't pregnant, and I tell her it's fine. I must be in an excellent mood, because I understand her reasoning, though I don't appreciate it. I hope she'll shift her interest elsewhere, and it seems like she might.

My gracious and kind mood lasts until Daniel calls.

I answer quickly, hoping this won't be anything annoying. I haven't spoken to him since the anniversary dinner, but I have no reason to. I suppose I could thank him for coming, but that sounds like I wanted him there. And I suppose I could thank him for drugging Blythe, but he should have drugged her a little more in my opinion.

So, I lean back in my office chair, and I greet him with little enthusiasm.

"I wanted to see how you were doing." He is cheerful as ever, seeming to think the past twenty-five years of my life have been fixed because he showed up to a single dinner. "You and Everly."

"Everything is fine."

My answer is short, and I can hear him deflate when I don't elaborate. He falls silent, and there is a dinging of his email. "Alright. I guess…I"ll uh…" He fumbles for something to say, obviously having expected me to react better.

I close my eyes.

"She's good. She wasn't feeling very well, so she went to see Arlene."

I clamp my mouth shut, not knowing why, out of everything I could have said, that was what I told him. Were I to really think about it, I'd probably realize it's because I was still worried about Everly even though she was one hundred percent fine. She'd take a few things to ease the pain she was in, and other than being somewhat sulky and grouchy, she seemed alright. She did sit as close to me as possible, her head on my chest and her eyes shut even though we were watching TV, but that was nothing crazy. We'd gone to bed earlier than normal, and after a few days, she seemed back to her usual self.

"Is she alright?" Daniel asks, and his concern rivals mine. "Was she sick?"

"No," I answer, hating that I'd said anything. "She's good now. Just…she needed something. But Arlene chose that time to be as annoying as possible, so I'd like her sent back to Erudite."

This idea comes out of nowhere, and I give him a few seconds to accept it.

He doesn't.

"I…I can't bring her back here. She chose to transfer to Dauntless. Permanently."

"What? You can't do that." I bark at him, sitting up straighter. "You can't just transfer out of your chosen faction. I'm calling Cara. I'm sure…I'm sure you can use her. Don't you have an entire hospital that needs her organizational skills and terrible attitude?"

"I'm not in charge of the entire hospital, Eric." He points out. "Look, I know she's…very opinionated. But she's got your best interest at heart. She always has."

I stay silent, cursing him for even knowing her.

"So you won't transfer her back?" I ask, and I feel a flash of petty, sulky rage at him. Like I'm bargaining to stay out late, and he won't let me. I shake my head, clearing that thought immediately. "You know what? Let her stay here. Maybe she'll fall down the stairs next time it snows."

"Eric," Daniel says, and he sounds like he's struggling between wanting to laugh and being horrified. "Are you free at all this week? I'd like to come by, if you and Everly will be home."

"We won't." I snap, and I grow rightfully annoyed at him. "We won't be home for the next six months. Try again then."

"Eric, I know you're mad I'm not transferring Arlene back to Erudite, but I don't have anything to do with where she works. Even if she came back here on her own terms, I don't even have room for her on my staff. You're being ridiculous." He protests and I hate to admit that I am.

Oh well.

If he wanted to be friends with me, this was what he got.

"I have to go. I have…a meeting to go to. Right now." I tell him, staring at my oddly blank calendar. "I'll have Everly call you when she's free. Sometime in the next year."

"You could give me her number." He quickly throws out, and I narrow my eyes. There were a lot of things I could do for him, and none of them sound appealing right now.

"We'll see." I answer dismissively, and I hang up before he can get another word in. I set my phone on my desk, staring at it, and I sigh.

Heavily.

I suppose he was making an attempt, but I just couldn't find it in me to reciprocate.

Especially if he wasn't taking Arlene off my hands.

 

 

I certainly can't find it in me to be any nicer when an hour later, he tells her.

Arlene comes barging into my office, looking rather furious. She's practically shaking she's so enraged, and she stands with her hands on her hips.

"Oh you want me to leave, do you? You think you're so clever?" She demands, loud enough that I'm sure the whole faction can hear her. "We'll see about that. Let's see who you come crying to the next time your wife gets her memory erased."

I roll my eyes.

"Now what are the odds that would happen again?" I look up from the report from Karl, and she looks like she might kill me. "And I wasn't trying to get rid of you. I thought you might be happier, back in Erudite. Where you can obsess over someone else's life."

"I have no interest in returning to Erudite." She hotly informs me. "My work is here. Who do you think will keep the infirmary in line? Molly?"

"Sounds like a plan to me." I smile brightly, and she shakes her head, then points her finger at me.

"Your father-"

"Daniel." I correct her, mentally adding this little fiasco to the list of things he'd done that I didn't like.

"…called to ask if I was interested in returning to Erudite. That he had a few openings and he thought of me. He hinted that I might be tired of Dauntless." She seethes.

"And what does this have to do with me?" I don't even pretend to be innocent. "I'm not sure where I come into play, but this sounds like a great opportunity to me. You should take him up on it."

"No." She answers flatly, and I'm reminded oddly of myself. "I'm staying here. Where I can make sure you don't fuck anything up."

"How nice of you." I retort, rising up from my desk. "But I don't need your help. I'm perfectly capable of not fucking things up on my own."

She and I stare at each other, both just as angry as the other. It's quite the standoff, both of us hating each other. She doesn't like that I won't tell her every single detail of my personal life, and I don't like her trying to find out every single detail of my personal life.

Neither of us back down until she finally swallows and juts her chin at me.

"I have been in Dauntless just as long as you have. I have spent my time here making sure you survived. I don't care if you appreciate it, and I don't care if you want my help. I will continue, until I know that my work here is done. Someone has to look out for you, and at this point, there's no sense in me stopping. You think Max is gonna care what you do?"

She glares at me, and I shrug.

"I've made sure you've gotten whatever you wanted. Don't you forget that." She keeps ranting, and I decide to shut her up.

"Fine." I answer. "If you feel this is your life mission, to focus on what I'm doing, then go right ahead. You do whatever you need to do here. But when Everly gets pregnant, I'm not telling you."

I finish my rant triumphantly, knowing that'll piss her off more than anything.

I also immediately clamp my mouth shut. The look on her face tells me I've just revealed everything she wanted to hear. That I, Eric Coulter, had plans to one day have a child with Everly. That I liked the idea, enough that I'd spoken it out loud, as an insult at someone who wouldn't get to see said child.

That she was right in her concern, even if she went about it the wrong way.

I know all of this, because she smiles, pleased as ever.

"Well then. I think you've told me all I needed to know." She pauses, and I realize I am screwed. "You have a great rest of your day. I'll see you soon. Or your wife. Whoever needs me first. Just remember, it's a long nine months of doctor's appointments, unless you plan on delivering her baby yourself."

"No, wait. I'm not…she's not…." I bark, trying to think of a way to recover. I'm not normally one to struggle with my words, but this time, I am. I was so busy running my mouth to shut her up, that I'd just admitted my future plans.

I know I've lost, because she leaves, haughty as ever at having won this round.

 

 

"You told Arlene what?"

Rylan sits across from me, slumped in my chair, staring at the wall. My gaze is focused on the memo someone has tacked up there, written in very bold, red letters, announcing that someone wasn't our mother, so pick up our shit when we were done eating.

"I…"

I have nothing to say.

I keep staring at the paper, feeling Rylan leaning in closer, his face scrunched up in concern.

"You told her…when Everly is pregnant, you weren't gonna tell her. So, in retrospect, you already told her that you're uh planning on having…a baby. Eric, you know she's never going to forget this. Ever."

"I know that." I snap, shaking my head, stupefied at my own idiocy. "I told her all that, and she left. She didn't even say much. She just walked out because she won, Rylan. I didn't know what else to say."

"Yeah, okay you're speaking like a robot and you look traumatized. Do you want me to call someone? Maybe Four? He knows all about emotional trauma." Rylan cheerfully suggests, and I throw him a look that could kill.

"Okay, fine, no Four. He's busy with your wife, anyway. But uh, okay so uh, you're sure about doing this now?" His voice raises up on that last part, confused as ever at the timing of this announcement. He's looking at me with concern, mentally calculating something, and I shake my head.

For once, he was the logical one of us.

As much as I'd struggled with liking the idea of Everly being pregnant, I knew it came with all sorts of consequences I wasn't prepared for. The increased security risks. The chance that something could happen to Everly. The off chance the baby would be born while Evelyn was still on the loose, and she'd kidnap both my wife and my child.

The actual child.

It wasn't that I'd had some deep longing to be someone's father. I'd never looked at the children here and thought to myself _I just really need to get me one of those_. Even worse, knowing myself, our kid could wind up being a total brat. Ruin my image here, destroy the reputation I'd built. I probably wouldn't get much sleep, Everly wouldn't be able to function because she wouldn't get any sleep, and the kid might scream. Nonstop. Everly would hate me, because I'd been the one who had done this to her, and she'd probably leave in the middle of the night, and high tail it back to Amity.

I'd have to have Rylan move in.

"I…I just said it. I didn't mean…we're not…" I lie through my teeth, turning to look at Rylan's face. His eyes are as wide as Christina's, and he blinks. Slowly.

"Don't you dare lie to me, Eric Coulter." He points at me, scooting closer. "I knew it the minute you married her. You wanted to have physical, living proof that she loves you, and what better way to shove it in people's faces than with a baby." He looks enthused, and alarmingly supportive. "I think it's fine. You've been married to her since she got here. That's like, fourteen years practically. In dog years."

"Rylan." I say his name warningly, shoving him away and back into his own seat. "I…"

"Yes, you want a baby! Just say it." Rylan taunts me, and were we not sitting in the break room, with Linda a few feet away, listening to him chant his words over and over, I might kill him. Were he not one of my best friends, the only one I'd ever truly told anything to, I might kill him.

But I can't.

Because I can't deny that I wanted nothing more than to be happy with Everly. To have the life we had, only even better. That I liked it, every embarrassing moment that I'd normally have laughed at myself for wanting. Someone to come home to. Someone whose small fingers slid through my hair while they kissed me goodnight. Someone who wore my shirts to bed, someone who was happy with me. It was disgusting. Too happy, too sappy, so unlike me that I should vomit at the idea, especially thinking about having a family with her.

But I did want it.

I wanted it so badly I could feel it, and at times, it often felt like it could slip right through my fingers.

And I had to experience it all now, while I could.

It felt shameful. Fearful. I was afraid she would either vanish or leave, and I was trying to think of ways to get her to stay. Even after being married to her, even after she'd returned from Amity, and her only want was to be close to me.

I was afraid of having this normal happiness, and I had to face that fear.

"You know what? I do." I look right at Rylan, and my eyes lock on his. I sit up straighter, deciding I had nothing to hide. "I want to have a child with her. Maybe not now. Maybe not this year. But sometime soon. And you're right." I pause, watching his smile widen. "I will shove it in everyone's face. Everyone who thought she should run, and everyone who thought I'd kill her. I will shove it all right down their throats and they can admire how happy I am."

"I feel like this speech is really aimed at Four, and he'll be hella jealous that no one loves him, but I'm on board. I'm in. Let me know how I can help." Rylan jumps up out of his seat. "I got your back on this. I can be the uncle. Wait, no. The great uncle. Wait…what's better than uncle?"

"You can be whoever you want." I tell him, rising up myself, cocking an eyebrow at him.

I pull myself to my full height, smiling as he frantically tries to figure out the ultimate title he can bestow upon himself. I feel rejuvenated, a wave of hope and determination and downright electric superiority soaking right into my bones. My life here was what I'd made it, and it would continue to be the one I wanted.

With Everly and me, leading our own family as the most powerful beings in Dauntless.

"Forget Arlene. She'll be fine by herself. I can make it so I never see her again. Let's go find Max." I tell Rylan, and he nods at me. "We'll try to finish up so we can go home early."

He and I head out to find Max, and I feel oddly at peace with my decision.

 

It lasts a day or so, until Daniel shows up.

I watch him stroll in on Wednesday, flashing his pretentious security badge giving him access to every medical center in every faction. He didn't actually need it; not every faction needed a brain surgeon nosing around, but I'm sure he'd taken on some new role. He probably decided to personally inspect each one, knowing they wouldn't live up to his high standards. I'm sure he'd want to fix them. He was always an over achiever, always striving to add one more thing to his plate, and it was probably a fantastic way to get away from his wife.

I watch him smile at the guards, their stares on his fancy jacket and fancier shoes. His glasses. His stupid haircut. I watch them wave him right the fuck in, pointing at the large entryway doors, when he knows full well where he's going. But he lets them help, pretending he's some saint who doesn't remember directions, and one of them accompanies him.

Karl.

I watch with great annoyance as Karl guides Daniel right on in, disappearing inside the building.

"Why is he here?" Jason asks, watching right next to me, and I shrug.

"Who the fuck knows? Probably to see Everly." I take a long sip of my coffee, ignoring the fact that he'd called me this morning. That I'd ignored his call, along with his message that he'd drop by soon. I had assumed soon meant in a month or so, and he'd assumed my silence meant come on by. "He wants to have dinner with her to get to know her."

"That's nice." Jason answers, and he nudges me. He changes the screen to the hallway, and we continue to watch him walk with Karl, until Karl points him in the direction he's looking for. "I think it's kind of cool that he's trying. He likes Everly a lot, right?"

"It wouldn't matter even if he didn't," I point out, but Jason isn't fooled by my arrogant tone.

"Cut him some slack. He brought your mother here, straight out of an Amity induced coma, and risked her wrath to come see you. I know he's shitty, but…at least he's here."

"Sure." I snap, not willing to argue about this. I'd had this very same argument with myself, and while always the winner of my own debates, I didn't have six hours to spell this out for Jason. "Let's go. We're late. I told Max and Harrison we'd be there a few minutes ago. But I also saw Harrison heading in the wrong direction, so we should all get there at the same time."

"Sounds like a plan." Jason smiles, far kinder than necessary. "Hey, you want eyes on your Dad? I can have the control room keep us updated on where he goes?"

I look at him, then turn to watch Daniel for another second. He's walking purposefully in the direction of the training room, only slowing down to turn the corner.

"Nah, I'm good."

I know exactly where he's going and why, and I decide not to interfere.

 

Everly calls me when her class lets out.

Her voice is cheerful and sweet, and a much-needed relief from listening to everyone argue. We'd been sitting here with the technology department for hours, listening to them snipe and groan at everything we suggested. Turns out moving our security cameras out even further was quite the headache for them, and they weren't quiet about it.

"Daniel's here!"

She fills me in on his arrival, and she's honestly thrilled. I try to absorb some of her enthusiasm for him, but it's hard when I'm trapped in this meeting.

"I told him we could meet at Clyde's for dinner. Can you meet us there? Are you done at work?" She talks quickly, and I can hear the rush of people beside her.

"I can't." I answer her slowly, closing my eyes as Harrisons yells at someone named Nick. "We haven't finished this meeting and I have no clue when it'll be done."

"Oh," she sounds disappointed, and I can see her, standing there, clutching her phone as the faction swarmed around her. "Okay, well that's alright. I don't mind eating with him. I did invite him to dinner."

"Have fun then." I retort, and it's out of the flashing, sharp pain that sears up. "I'll see you later."

"Eric," she says my name quickly, and my fingers tighten around my phone. "I'll see you at home. I love you."

"I love you, too." I answer her roughly, and I wait a beat before telling her I'll see her there. I hang up once she does, and I return to the conference room. I drop down into the seat next to Rylan, and he's buzzing with excitement.

"I love you, too. I'm so romantic and gross." He mimics, low enough for only me to hear.

"Fuck off," I answer right back. "At least I'm not celebrating dating someone for a whole week. I thought you didn't believe in labels."

He throws me one dirty look, but he can't help but laugh.

"It's clearly not my idea."

Our discussion comes to an end, because Harrison returns, still yelling at Nick.

Eventually, the guy relents, and our meeting ends much, much later than anyone planned on being here.

 

 

I return home to silence.

It's unnaturally quiet, giving me the fantastic and unpleasant opportunity to remember what it was like when I came home to an empty apartment because I had thought Everly was dead. I dismiss this memory, shrugging off my jacket and tossing my key card on the counter. I stand there for a moment, for once, having absolutely nothing pressing to do, and no one waiting for me, and I don't like it. But I have no clue when Everly will be back, and I don't want to interrupt, so I decide to eat a quick dinner.

I'd contemplated heading down to Clyde's to join Everly and Daniel, but I'd ultimately decided against it. I knew Everly liked him, and since I didn't, this was a great chance for the two of them to talk. He could bond with her without me scowling in his direction and thinking of why we should leave. They could discuss…whatever it was my elderly father felt like he could with her, and she'd be thrilled. There was also a chance he'd tell her some horrifically embarrassing details about me, but at least I wouldn't have to be there to witness them.

I make myself a sandwich, and when she's still not back, I decide to get ready for bed. She shows up as I'm brushing my teeth, looking like she's hurried home, but happy as ever.

"Hi." She greets me with a large smile, sliding past me to grab her own toothbrush. "Did you eat?"

"I did." I rinse my mouth out, then put my toothbrush away. She looks at me expectantly, waiting for me to grill her on how her dinner went, but I don't ask her anything just yet. I don't want it to seem like I'm dying to hear the details, because I'm not.

I'm sure it was as exhilarating as ever.

"I'm going to head to bed." I announce, and she nods.

"I'll be right there. I'm going to wash my face." She pulls her hair up on top of her head, still smiling at me as I stare at her. A second later, she opens my bathroom cabinet, and pulls out a bottle.

It's easy, routine and normal, the sound of the water turning on and her rummaging through my cabinets.

By now, the magic of this should have worn off. We'd been married for a year and had spent almost all of that time together. The monotony of this –getting ready for bed, brushing our teeth together and finding her pajamas should bore me out of my skull. I would have never asked for this, a tiny girl whose hairbrush sat on my dresser and her facewash shoved in my cabinet. I would have laughed at someone for suggesting I like this.

I would have lusted after the thrill of fucking someone from the bar, their nondescript face not even something I'd ever notice as I lazily told them to get the fuck out of my apartment and keep their mouth shut.

But not anymore.

Now I revel in the normalcy of this, of the relief of having Everly back home, and the fact that she and I will go to bed together.

I watch her rise up on her toes to bend over and splash water on her face, and I find myself completely and utterly content.

 

 

"Did he buy you dinner?"

My curiosity wins out after a few minutes of her being in bed with me. She'd climbed in wearing something I had plans to take off, and she'd pushed herself right up against my chest. I threw my leg over her, pulling her closer to me, and then I lie there, tracing my fingers up her side.

"Yeah, he did. Are you jealous? Because you sound kind of jealous," She teases, scooting back further. She's cold, her t-shirt not at all warm, and my apartment not at all warm, but I am. She sinks in closer to me, until we are both satisfied.

"Hardly. I'm sure it was a thrilling dinner." I snort, unable to ignore the fact that I'd felt like a loser coming home by myself. I could have joined them, and I'd made the decision not to, but that didn't mean I had to love that she was gone. I also don't love that he's here, trying to win her over. It still felt sticky, like there was something behind it, and I couldn't figure it out. "It counts as one of the dinners he demanded."

"No, it doesn't. Don't be silly," Everly shakes her head, missing my serious tone. She reaches for my hand and slides her fingers between mine. I drop my head down, until my nose rests in her hair. "He just stopped by. He still wants to have dinner with you. And he didn't demand anything, he asked."

I snort again, not believing her at all. Daniel demanded a lot of things, including a family he didn't deserve.

But then again, he was trying.

He'd come to a faction he didn't belong in, waltzed through our gates, and chosen to spend his time here with Everly. He'd bought her dinner, something that Blythe would notice on their statement, and wasn't at the hospital or his house. He was here, in a faction he didn't belong to, not on business.

No matter how you looked at it, it was a risk.

"What did you guys talk about?" I finally ask, pleased when she settles against me. She's warming up, her skin no longer freezing.

"You," She answers cheekily. She sighs as I pull the comforter up higher. "Mostly how sweet you are."

Even I can't help the laugh that escapes. I find myself snorting, and my fingers slow their path on her side.

"He wanted to know about the training class. If I liked working with the initiates. Nothing crazy." She yawns, and I find myself abandoning my plan of undressing her. She's soft and sleepy now, and my own eyes close while she talks.

"How nice." I answer, but my words sound far away. "I'm glad you had fun."

I'm not.

But that doesn't matter.

She was happy, and that was enough for me.

At least, that's what my brain tells me. It lets me focus on that, how selfless and kind I am, before I fall asleep a second later.

 

 

The package arrives a day later.

I squint at the label in sheer horror, realizing not only is it from Amity, but it's from Eden.

"Everly," I call her name out, slamming the door in the delivery man's face. I turn just in time to see her emerge from the bedroom, her eyes sleepy and warm. Neither she nor I had any major plans today, and we'd slept in. I'd woken up before her with the intent of making breakfast, but I was interrupted by someone banging on the door.

To my delight, it was a soldier with a package in his hands.

To my dismay, it was nothing I wanted.

"What is it?" She stops beside me, eyeing the box in my hands carefully. "I think it's for you."

"Oh no," I shake my head, shoving the package at her. "It's definitely for you."

Her eyes widen when she sees the label on it, and she looks up at me with a funny grimace.

"Are you afraid?" I cock my eyebrow at her, her pretty hair messed up from my pillows, and her eyes greener than ever.

She looks up at me, and nods.

"Actually, yes."

 

 

I'm even more afraid when hours later, she tells me to close my eyes.

"Please." She asks nicely, her hands pushing me down onto the bed and her smile very telling. She looks like she's trying not to laugh, and I'm fairly certain I'm about to either be slathered in something her mother has sent, or worse- asked to drink something.

It takes everything in me to agree, and I reluctantly shut my eyes.

"Hurry up with whatever you're doing. I don't have all day." I bark. I immediately am cranky, uneasy even though I'm in my own bedroom. I can only imagine that what her mother sent was something she didn't want me to see, or worse, did want me to see. I sit there for what feels like ages, until I hear her shut the bathroom door.

"Everly, it's fucking hot in here. Can we hurry this up?"

"One more minute. Just…keep your eyes closed. You'll like it. I promise." She pleads, and I sigh in total exasperation.

My day off had gone south ever since the arrival of Eden's package. I'd made breakfast and gotten to take a single bite before my phone started ringing. I'd ignored it the first time, but it kept ringing, until I huffily answered it. What followed was a slew of absolute garbage; soldiers injured while out on one of the newer patrols, Karl not having reported back in over three hours, someone using an improper security clearance and triggering nearly every alarm in the faction. I'd had to head out with Jason and Rylan, which meant throwing my uniform on, and spending most of my free day in a truck with one of them.

All I wanted to do was take this jacket off, but Everly had met me at the door, and insisted I follow her into the bedroom. Normally I'd be thrilled, but the minute I caught sight of the open box on my dresser, I regretted coming home.

"At least, I hope you'll like it." Her voice is different now, sort of quiet and I realize she's right in front of me. I feel her hands on my shoulders, and she climbs onto my lap without any hesitation.

I prepare for whatever it is she's about to pour down my throat, when my hands rise up to hold onto her so she doesn't fall. My fingers come into contact with something soft, something she didn't have on when I got home.

"Everly..." I open my eyes to find her staring at me, looking up from beneath her eyelashes. "What are you doing?"

I take in the sight before me, and I'm slow to realize she's wearing something I've never seen before. The dress is pink, with long sleeves, a fitted bodice, and long. Too long for her. The fabric of the skirt pools around her ankles, and she's drawn them up to balance on me.

"My mother sent it." She's trying not to laugh and my eyes widen when I realize what's going on.

In her hair, is another flower crown. This one just as intricately made, but with different colors. Mostly pink, with a few darker ones mixed in there. They sit far lower than where her mother placed them, giving her a different look than at our party.

A different look all together.

"Everly…no-" I start to hiss at her, because this was what she would have looked like if I'd found her in Amity. If she'd never chosen to come here, I might have stumbled upon her while stomping through there. I'd have probably stopped, noticing that her skin was pale against the pink fabric, clinging to her in just the right places. How pretty she was, even if she was from Amity.

How alluring she was, even in that dress.

"I thought I told you I didn't like it when you-"

"Would you have liked me if I hadn't picked Dauntless?" She leans in closer, looping her arms around my neck. Her hair falls everywhere, long and wavy and she smells sweet. Like flowers and something sugary, and I suddenly can't breathe. "If I were there, and you came to Amity…would you have stopped by to say hi."

She has to be fucking with me.

I stare at her in suspicious confusion, but she's dead serious.

"My mom sent another set of the flower crowns. In case we lost the others." She leans in, her forehead touching mine, and one hand sliding up to touch my jaw. "I was just thinking that had I stayed there, I would have seen you. Like this. Walking through Amity. In your uniform."

She says the last part against my lips, mumbling as she kisses me.

My body and brain react at the same time. My brain roars in pure unabashed honesty, that I would have stopped for her. That I would have gone right to her, perhaps grasping a fistful of her hair, and shoved her up against whatever I could find. A tree. The wall of someone's house. Johanna's office. I would have done exactly what I was doing now, my thighs tightening up and my blood rushing south.

"I like you in your uniform, you know." She says these words as she kisses me slower, her lips firmly against mine, shifting herself forward. "All the girls there thought you were really handsome. They would have liked to know what you looked like without the uniform on, too."

Her nails dig into my hair as I blurt out one strangled fuck, and I stand up. I stand up with my arm around her, catching sight of us in the mirror. The reflection is very telling, exactly what I assumed half the faction thought went on in my bedroom.

Me, dressed in the official Dauntless Leader's uniform, my hair freshly cut, and my eyes narrowed at Everly. And her, dressed in this pink dress from Amity, the length long and flimsy. I stare at us, her long dark hair hanging down low enough that it grazes my arm, flowers buried within the strands, and her bare legs moving to wrap around me.

"So, you would have stopped?" She moves away from my lips to kiss my neck, and it takes a single second for me to find the bed. To drop her on it, fully ready to tear off the dress her mother had sent. "Would you have-"

"Everly," I blurt out her name, sharp and quick, pushing the skirt of her dress up. It pools at her thighs, and I recline back to pull my jacket off.

"No!" She blurts out, hands immediately reaching for me. She yanks me back down to her, shaking her head. "Leave it on. You wouldn't take it off there."

For a moment, I am stunned by her words, but she knows me well. I wouldn't have taken anything off. I would have been too concerned about going after what I wanted, which was her.

There is a heavy moment of pure lust that runs between us now, hot and all consuming. I'd told her I loved her plenty of times, and I'd shown her. I'd slowed down every single aspect of my life until it matched her pace, and I'd been happy with that. She'd been happy with that. I'd spent more nights with my head buried in her neck, or my lips kissing hers to show her just exactly what I felt.

But this isn't her wanting me to tell her how much I liked her. This was her, wanting to know if I'd have fucked her in Amity if I found her there.

The answer is very obviously yes.

Had I caught sight of her watching me, her big eyes glued to mine and her cheeks pink, there was no doubt I'd have gone over to her. Had she so much as blinked up at me, long eye lashes and a green so dark I'd have been unable to look away, I'd have had her pinned up against a wall and claimed her as mine.

I suspect, much like now, as I yank the zipper down on my pants and shove them down just enough, that I would have fallen for her the same way. That I would have thrust into her, feeling the softness of her dress, the warmth of her skin, and silkiness of her hair against me. I would have returned later to see her, to seek her out, trying to lure her to come stay with me. I could offer her so much more than a life in Amity could, and I would have.

Bribed her. Tried to trick her. Married her without telling her, giving her anything her heart desired just so she'd come with me.

"Everly," I groan her name as her legs draw up around me, and I'm downing in a sea of fabric.

"So that's a yes?" She asks, but she's smiling, holding back the giggle of her own answer. Her fingers slide into my hair, and she pulls herself up to kiss me. I fumble for a moment, disliking the way my pants are caught in an odd position, but she has other ideas. She pulls them down further, her fingers skimming my thighs and I groan with relief when her hand finds my cock. She's not at all shy as she tightens her grip, sliding her hand up and down, stroking me until I can't last a single second longer.

I shove her legs apart, and a second later, I slide inside of her, biting the skin of her neck.

"Fuck."

It's the only logical thought I can think.

She's slick and wet, having been turned on by the very idea of her little plan. I have to admit, as I thrust in and out of her and she mewls my name, that it was a good plan. I didn't love any sort of surprise, but this, her in the stupid dress, the flowers falling everywhere, and her eyes closed as she gasped my name, this was a surprise I could get behind.

She clearly likes it, too.

She works her hips against mine, her feet pressing against my legs, and my name falls from her lips. It doesn't take long before I'm close to coming, and she is too. Her skin is flushed and her fingers claw wherever they can reach. She wiggles to pull me closer, then pushes me back as she pleadingly whimpers harder.

Amity would have been the same.

I can almost smell the fresh air, the warm sun, and flowers. I would have shared her hurried impatience, that someone was coming, and wouldn't this be the sight to stumble upon. Even now, I'm sure this was what everyone assumed I liked. Her dressed like some damsel in distress, beneath me, while I thrust in and out of her, ready to lose it at the sight of her.

My fingers move on their own, ravaging through her hair wildly, roughly trying to hold onto her. They dig in, and I wind up holding onto each side, hovering over her to look down at her.

She smiles up at me, really smiles, a sweet, longing look pulled up from deep within and she touches my jaw.

Then she suddenly tenses up, her whole body tightening around mine, and her head falls back into the dark comforter. A few thrusts later she moans my name, the sound pleasing and low, before she's lost in an ocean of darkness. Her hair blurs against my sheets while the flowers scatter around her.

I come a second later, so turned on the sensation is nearly painful. My hips move on their own, thrusting erratically until there is nothing left in me, and I collapse to the side of her. I lie there, blindly reaching for her hand, and pulling it up to grasp in mine, and I try to slow my breathing down.

"Eric?"

She says my name tentatively, her chest rising up and down. Her dress is still pushed up over her thighs and her hair is a mess. The flower crown has long been destroyed, and all that's left are the petals all over my bed. I turn to look at her, mumbling yes –right as I catch sight of her.

She looks lovely.

Her dark hair pools around her fair skin, and her eyes are bright and clear. Her cheeks and neck are pink, and she smiles, the remains of the flowers scattered around her like some sort of sacrifice.

"So was that a yes?"

My own smile is slow, amused and enchanted by her, and I lazily wonder if Eden had done something to the flowers.

 

 

 

 

 

(One more note: If you want to purchase Everly's dress or know what it looks like, it's available at Free People. Just google Free People Oasis Midi Dress! I normally never have links or actual images of the clothes, but this dress is super cute! Size down, btw!)


	41. EC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the rush of chapters! I hope you all have a great weekend!

I find the flowers everywhere.

One cold morning, I awake to the shrill beeping of my alarm, and my eyes open slowly. Everly makes a noise of complete annoyance, having grown used to sleeping in later than five am. She groans in protest when I slide my arm out from beneath her, and my fingers skim something beneath the pillow. I squint in the darkness, shoving the pillow up along with Everly's head.

"What are you doing?" She mumbles, indignant at her sleep being interrupted by me. Her question is reasonable, but I ignore her.

I pluck the flower petal from beneath the pillow, and I stare at it in confusion.

The past few days, I'd found them all over. In the pocket of my jacket, the collar of a shirt I'd had washed, on top of my boots. In my desk drawer. In my pocket, like I'd saved it on purpose. In my laptop, neatly pressed between the screen and the keyboard.

I thought I'd gotten them all off my bed after her little game, but I was wrong. They seemed to follow me, showing up while I sat at my desk or slunk down to join Rylan for coffee.

"Go back to bed. I have to meet Max early."

She shrugs in confusion, and I shove the pillow down and in place. She falls right back against it, her eyes still shut, having only opened to blink at me, and she curls herself back into the warmth.

I stare at her for a long time, like I'll see the answer written on her exposed skin. I had thought maybe she was putting them everywhere as some kind of joke, but that doesn't seem like her. I watch as she falls back asleep without any trouble at all, and I pull the comforter back over her.

She sighs my name when I climb out of bed, the flower still in my hand, still sweet smelling.

 

 

For once, Rylan is quiet.

He seems painfully distracted as everyone mills around the conference room, waiting to get started. My eyes are fixed on the clock, impatiently blinking nine am. It turns to 9:01 a second later, and I'm immediately antsy. We should be getting started, and we could. In fact, Rylan should be leading this meeting He'd gone out with Karl a day ago, and he'd come back with plenty to report. But now he's fidgeting with the papers in front of him and not paying an ounce of attention to anyone next to him. Tori looks at me, wondering if I'll nudge him to get started or hoping I will, but I shrug at her.

We'd been summoned here by Max.

He'd marked his email urgent, but then again, he marked everything urgent. I look at Tori when she nudges me again, and I ignore her. I wasn't expecting much from this meeting today. Max and I had already read Karl's last report and this latest report he'd just turned in. To our surprise, he was finding factionless all over the place. Not in camps or hiding out in a new compound, and not in large groups like before.

Just everywhere.

It seemed like they were all over the factions, purposely fucking with us so we wouldn't know where Evelyn was. They weren't receptive to Karl and his team, and in fact, they were alarmingly violent. He'd returned not long ago with a gash on his arm, and I'd heard Arlene had been silent while she stitched it up.

To make matters worse, the factionless weren't afraid. They were willing to fight, angry at what we'd done to their leader, and it was obvious they wanted vengeance.

"I have another meeting in an hour." Tori announces, to no one, and Rylan looks in her direction, then past her.

I follow his stare, and I'm unsurprised when Karl walks in. He looks antsy; his uniform jacket is unbuttoned and his hair is parted to the side like he'd rushed over here. He takes the seat next to Rylan, and hands him a thick stack of papers. I feel a flash of dull, unusual jealousy, especially when he leans in to point out something to Rylan. But it's not real jealously. I don't feel left out of their little hunt, for I'd been alerted every step of the way, and he was completing an assignment that had come directly from me.

Then he points at something again, his expression as dark as my own, and I know whatever he found is bugging Rylan.

Which is odd, because Rylan hadn't said a word about it to me.

I sit there, growing more and more irritable, when Rylan looks up at me.

"Hey, uh…Eric, where's Everly? Is she working with Four…for a while?"

His expression is calm, almost bored, but his voice isn't. It's unusually stressed and even Karl looks tense. He averts his stare when I don't blink or respond. I lean back in the chair, my gaze tacked right on them, trying to figure out what was going on without asking.

"Eric?" Rylan asks again, and this time, everyone looks at me. The room is silent as the door flies open, but it's only Harrison arriving. He chooses to sit down across from me, and Jason follows him in, yawning and carrying an alarming number of coffees.

"She is. She's finishing up this training with his class. Why?" I answer Rylan sharply, and he looks at Karl. Karl looks at him, and they have some silent, telepathic conversation between them.

The flare of rage I feel is quick and expected.

"Rylan. The fuck is going on?" I glare at him and Karl, and neither move. "Karl? Anyone? Anybody care to inform me what's going on? Or should I just have Karl take over for me so I can go home?"

"No, calm down." Rylan waves his hand at me, and gestures for Jason to come over. "Give him a coffee. He needs one more than ever."

"I'm gonna count to three…" I warn Rylan, and he grins.

"You're going to make an excellent father." He winks at me, and Tori tilts her head to the side, digesting what he's just said.

"Is that what this meeting is about? I heard about this. Are you…you and Everly are really having a baby?" She stares at me intently, her gaze calculating as she scans my face. She finds nothing appealing, because she looks displeased, her lips turning downward at the idea. "Is that…no one else here is worried over this news? Are we voting on this?"

"He'll be a great father. Better than you would." Rylan shoots back defensively, and I decide we are not having this debate. "And no, we're not voting. You're not married to Eric."

"Thank God for that." Tori looks at me, her stare sharp enough to cut through glass. "You're aware you're risking her life, you know. If you go through with your plan."

"Shut the fuck up. All of you." I grab the coffee from Jason, rougher than necessary considering it's filled with a scalding hot liquid, and I shake my head. "You can all choke on a dick before I discuss if I'm having a child or not. Now someone, anyone, tell me what the fuck is going on. Why are you asking me what Everly is doing? She's working. Where she wanted to work. With her traitorous little number friend."

"That's what I thought. And they're going to the fence, right? You're going, too?" Rylan looks at me, and I nod slowly. "Well…that's good I guess."

"Why?" I answer, my voice dripping with irritation. "Did Four call out sick? Or is he taking a vacation that day?"

"No." Rylan shakes his head, and both he and Karl look at me with wide eyes. "Because yesterday, Karl saw Evelyn in Amity."

 

 

My rage is well deserved.

I leap up from my chair along with everyone else. It's like they could predict I'd lose my shit upon hearing this news. They all stand up at once, prepared for the fight that was about to unfold, but they're a second too late. The coffee goes flying, the laptops go flying, and I lunge for Karl like he's been keeping some deep dark secret from me. I had gotten past what had happened before; a rookie mistake from a kid who had been given more authority than he could handle. I could understand, hell, maybe even empathize at what he must have felt watching his friend get kidnapped.

But not this.

I grasp ahold of his jacket, but since it's not buttoned, he shrugs out of it, and rather agilely hops away from me and to the other side of Rylan.

"No. Bad Eric. Sit down. Don't be mad at him." Rylan leaps between us, and I raise my eyebrow at him.

"Don't be mad at him?" I repeat, my voice rising threateningly. "You two saw her and you didn't tell me?! I'm not just mad at him," I pause, so livid and so angry that it's all consuming. All I can focus on is the betrayal I feel, and the urge to put my fist through something. Someone's face, maybe. Both of their faces. "I'm furious. Evelyn. The one, single, fucking person we've been hunting down. You saw her and didn't say a single word to me."

"We couldn't get close enough." Karl blurts out, and he holds both his hands up defensively. Jason steps next to me, fully prepared to hold me back. I'm aware he knew what was going on as well, and this doesn't make it any better. "I tried. I tried to make up for what happened when they took Everly. I got as close as I could, and she saw me. She went right into Amity and disappeared into the crowd. By the time my team got to where she was, she was gone and not a single person knew what I was talking about. I think she's hiding out there."

I see everything in waves of red. Undulating, vertigo inducing waves of red.

"Maybe not hiding out in there." Rylan butts in. "But they clearly didn't seem to notice her wandering through there. Even worse, we think the people she was walking with… they weren't really from Amity."

"Are you two high?" I snarl, and Jason steps in front of me.

"No, the tea didn't work. We all drank it but it mostly made us feel like we might throw up." He answers for them, and I stare at him just as angrily.

"I'm not talking about the fucking tea." I bark at him. Everyone is watching now, Tori –looking highly entertained, Karl –looking highly confused, and Max –looking like he's enjoying the show. "I'm talking about…" I stop, and I realize what he's saying. "She's got members in the Amity faction. Covering for her."

"Yeah…" Rylan agrees, nodding his head. "We think there's someone in there who's been feeding her information. It all makes sense as to why we can't find her. You thought for a long time Johanna was helping the factionless. It would make sense that she'd help Evelyn, too. Especially if she came with a sob story."

I stare at him, his face tight and strained as I piece all this together. Karl is beside him, fixing his shirt and staring at me hopefully. If they're right, if Evelyn does have someone in Amity who's been helping her, then this was the best lead we'd had so far. Forget seeing her at her own compound or trying to track her in the woods while Harrison talked about his wild nights in Amity.

"Is she going to split now? She had to have known you'd seen her. I doubt she'll stay there." I point out, and I take a step forward to hand Karl his jacket back. He takes it gingerly, like I might punch him as soon as he takes it. I cock my head at him, aware that I still look pissed off. "How do you know she's not going to run from there?"

"I don't." He answers quickly.

"I do." Harrison answers just as quickly.

I look over at him, and he is serious. "The Amity faction is huge. She might not be staying in it, but she's clearly got contacts there. There's no way she'll give that up. Johanna is big on forgiveness, and all someone had to do was plead her case before her. Vouch for her. Paint a picture of how rough her life has been. Even with the alerts, they might grant her some leeway if they think they're helping her."

"No fucking way." Jason shakes his head. "Johanna isn't that stupid. You can't possibly think she'd let Evelyn stay there. She knows Eric is already suspicious of everything in Amity."

"He's right," Max interrupts, and I'd all but forgotten he was standing there. "I don't think she's staying there. But she's confident enough to be there which tells us she's not afraid they'll turn her in. I would bet she's got a few factionless posing as Amity, or a few in Amity who've been trying to help the factionless."

"So, what do we do now?" Tori drops back into her seat, thinking I won't kill anyone now. She looks at me, then Max and the tension is heavy on her face. "If we storm through Amity, we lose the chance of finding her. If we leave her be, we risk her plotting something or trying to sway them. This is starting to feel like we're constantly a step behind her."

"You're right." I answer, and I take my own seat. "We are a step behind her. She knows Karl saw her, and she's assuming we'll come looking for her. So, we do the opposite. We wait. We watch. We patrol as close as we can while being as far away as we can. And we try to figure out who she's got on the inside." I glance around the room, and everyone looks on edge. "Or we blow it the fuck up. I don't care. But that means we'll be eating cereal for the next year."

"We aren't blowing anything up." Harrison responds casually. "Not today, at least. I'm busy."

"Well that's settled then." I mutter, and I drop down into my seat. "But I'm running out of patience for all of this. I'm sick of fucking waiting around for her. Why is one person so hard for us to find? Aren't we smarter than her?"

Karl and Rylan sit down, and Max stands there, nodding his head like he'd been the one speaking. "We are smarter than her. Which is why we know we're not in the position to do anything just yet."

"Great." I answer, unable to control the sarcasm in my voice. "Fantastic. We'll just let her hang out in Amity. Who needs to find her? Who cares that she tried to kill my wife? Clearly none of you. Let's just hope Evelyn doesn't overturn the Amity faction while we sit here."

My word are petty and biased as ever, but they work. Everyone around me protests quickly, loudly vocalizing just what they thought we should do. I fall silent, because I know I'm making this far more personal for every reason in the world, but I'm over it.

I'm over her, interrupting the only good I've ever had in my life.

I lean back in my seat, still irritated with everyone, especially Rylan. I look at my phone, quickly and furiously typing a message then deleting it over and over. I can feel everyone looking at me, and I decide there's no fucking way Everly is leaving Dauntless. This is simply too risky, and I don't give a single fuck what Max says. He's an absolute moron if he thinks she needs to go to the fence as part of her training.

I type furiously, until the message is spelled out clear enough that even Four could understand it.

But I don't end up sending it.

Because at some point, Harrison agrees with me, sliding into the seat next to me, and he announces that anyone who won't help him is on Evelyn's side and this proves it. He calls them a few names, including a bunch of traitors, and he gloats when everyone changes their tune.

I don't feel any better about any of it, and in fact, it only pisses me off more.

 

 

I storm out of the meeting room.

I ignore everyone asking where I'm going, along with Rylan's question of if I want to join him for lunch. His request is nice, stupid, but nice considering he knows I'm still agitated that he'd be dumb enough to not tell me what was going on. He asks me a few more times, his tone changing to low desperation, but I've already decided I don't want to hear his reasoning why.

Lately, I felt like everyone around me seemed to think they knew what was best for me. I was well aware that telling me this information before the meeting would have made me frantic. My initial reaction might have been to storm through Amity, upheaving it until I found Evelyn. Had I thought about it for a moment, I'd have realized that wasn't the best plan, and probably calmed down.

I was rational. Understanding. The king of fucking benevolence when it came to people. But that didn't mean I'd be okay with the person who was my closest friend, who had gone out of his way to look after Everly on my behalf, keeping shit from me.

My brain tries to logically point out that maybe he was looking out for Everly, and not telling me was safer than telling me.

I don't dwell on it too long.

I fling the doors open to the training room, having stormed down here much faster than I had planned. They open up to the large space, filled with initiates and low lighting, and absolutely nothing impressive.

I find Everly standing there next to Four, watching people punch at each other. The group is split up into multiple partners, all working on different things. I take them in as I slow my pace, my gaze critiquing them while I walk. Since Everly had missed a decent chunk of time with this group, I rate their performance more harshly than necessary. I see Four's influence on them; better than before, but not entirely up to my standards.

The people working by Everly look great.

I watch a few spar tentatively, but their focus shifts when they realize I am here. They look scared, like I'll insert myself into their class, or perhaps offer to fight them to see how they're doing. Some step back, eyes widening as I storm past them, and someone says my name enthusiastically.

But no one looks really happy to see me.

Not even Everly.

She looks over at me, and for once, she looks oddly nervous. Probably because I'm stalking over to her like I'm about to pick her up and carry her out of here and back to my apartment. Where I knew she'd be safe, and no one could attempt to kill her. Probably because of the sneer on my face as the pair in front of Four swing wildly at each other, missing as the stress of my presence gets to them.

Probably because Four exists, and he's standing there acting like the King of the Training Room.

Maybe all of the above.

"Everly."

I say her name pointedly, and Four scowls from the depths of his dark little soul at my interruption.

"Hi, Eric." She smiles up at me, smiling wider when I stop right in front of her. "What are you doing down here?"

"I need you to come with me for a minute." I announce loudly, making sure everyone knows I'm in charge. That I will command her out of here if I want to, without question. "It won't take long."

Despite my polite attitude, it doesn't go quite as smoothly as I was hoping. Everly stays still, and next to her, Four shakes his head.

"We have fifteen more minutes before we take a break. Can it wait?" He turns to look at me, and he looks pissed off.

I narrow my eyes, because he's oddly mouthy, his words dripping with an irritated attitude that he normally reserved for when the two of us hung out. I find every reason I don't like him rise up. We've never had a good relationship, and the return of Evelyn isn't doing him any favors. He could say all he wanted, promise all he wanted, and show up to as many missions as he was asked, but he'd still helped her, and that was all I could focus on.

"I don't remember needing your permission to talk to my wife, Four," I snarl at him, worked up over having been given the news that his mother was traipsing through Amity. My blame swings back to him, thinking of how not long ago, Everly had been taken under his watch, and how he had been the last one to see her, and he'd left without making sure she was okay.

I wonder how he sleeps at night.

"We're in the middle of a class," Four points out, like I've gone blind or had somehow missed what they were doing.

I stare at him, and he's lucky I don't have time for any impromptu executions today. I simply smile, dark and malicious and I make a mental note to remember this when he was up for a raise. "Fuck off." I look over at Everly, and I nod. "Are you coming?"

She nods her head immediately. She throws one look at Four, mostly because she's a nicer person than I am, and he sulks beside her when she takes a step away from him. Had he told her to stay, or said anything else to me, I would have lost it. I was in no mood to argue with him, or deal with his insolence after this meeting, and I wouldn't have hesitated to remind him I could currently kill him, and no one other than Tris would bat an eye.

But I'm the bigger person.

I take off without saying anything else to him, and Everly quickly catches up to me.

"Is something wrong?" She asks, her face wrought with worry.

"How's your day going?" I look down at her, realizing once again, how small she is. How easy it must have been for Colton to grab her. How she wouldn't have looked intimidating standing there, watching her class leave.

"It's going fine. How's yours, Eric?" She looks confused, blinking up at me far too prettily. I hadn't seen her leave this morning, but she looks lovely right now.

"It's going great," I answer quickly. "More than great now that we've caught sight of Evelyn a few times." I look at her, and I watch her expression slip. She steels it back, refusing to give in to the panic she feels. Or that I want her to feel.

"Where?"

I smile, knowing full well it looks more like I'm smirking at her. "Near the Amity fields."

She lets the words sink in, slow and dark. She bites at her lip, then her eyes find mine. "Was it really her?"

I shrug. While I don't think Karl and Rylan would have been wrong, there's a slight chance. But I doubt it.

"It could be someone else." She says slowly, sounding like she's well aware of where this is going. "Someone…

"Someone else who looks just like Evelyn, wandering through the Amity fields? Sure, that must explain it." I stare at her, and my chest is tight. The sight of her is very familiar to me, but every time I see her like this, in the dark hallway, her training clothes on and her hair pulled up, I'm reminded of my time with her. Of the things I'd felt, creeping and crawling their way up my entire body, firmly implanting into my mind. The protectiveness I'd had over her, even as my initiate, bubbling up all over again.

She sighs in defeat, but it's temporary. Her expression changes to determination, never letting her fear get the best of her, and she shakes her head.

"I should get back to the class. That's good news, though. Maybe this means we'll catch her soon."

Oh Amity.

So wonderfully optimistic.

Maybe we'll meet up with her in Amity for some tea, while she tells us how she plans to kill us.

"She can't run forever." I announce my reply, reaching for her without thinking. My arms wrap around her, thinking of all the times I'd wanted to give in to this very feeling. All the days I'd run alongside her, watched her fight her way through my training, wanting to reach out and touch her. I had, in my own ways, but this is better.

She melts against me, sinking into my chest and letting her cheek rest against my jacket. My fingers dig into the tank top she has on, pressing her into me.

I would never let her go if I could. I would stay right here, perhaps only letting go so I could pull her tighter, and that's it.

"I'll make you dinner tonight." I promise, forgetting that I'd stormed down here with the intent to tell her to forget about Amity. That she wasn't going, not with Evelyn on the loose. That until Evelyn was dead, Everly would forget about everything except surviving.

But surviving wasn't living, and there was no point in living in fear.

She nods her head against my chest, and her arms tighten. We stay like this, both of us unwilling to let go, until we hear the training class get out.

 

 

"She's not going to the fence, is she?" Rylan stares at me over his plate. The break room is crowded today; it's filled with all the leaders plus a few assistants, including Linda. Rylan and I had managed to find a seat off to the side, away from the chatter of Linda asking Max how his day was going. His day was going alright, but if she really wanted to know, he was close to bolting out of here and turning his phone off. He'd been cornered by Harrison the minute I arrived back in the office, and the two of them had argued until they were red in the face.

Turns out Harrison wasn't content with just sitting around Dauntless, and not just for my benefit. He understood Max's hesitation, and the idea that we'd probably catch her when she least expected it, but he just didn't want that. He wanted action. He wanted to find her, he wanted to take her down with great spectacle, and he wanted a show. He wanted lots of men, lots of trucks, and enough firearms that it was unlikely she'd walk away from their encounter.

Max said no even though he'd said yes not long ago.

They'd kept arguing, in my office of all places, while I tried to read an email from Quinten. I'd lost it when Jason showed up with tater tots, and I'd loudly thrown them all out. When no one listened to my demands, I'd stormed out to the breakroom, hoping to find some solitude in which I could eat my lunch, and I was joined by Rylan.

A guilty, pale and very sorry looking Rylan.

He stood there until I nodded, then slumped down in the seat beside me. After a moment of silence, he spoke up, asking me what I'm sure everyone wanted to know.

Would I allow my wife to accompany Four, the worst and least responsible member of the faction, on a trip where they could possibly encounter Evelyn? While the odds were slim, after all –the woman was on the run from us, there was a high chance seeing his mother might make Four snap and Everly would be right there next to him when Evelyn attacked.

I didn't have a great answer. I'd thought about this all day, while I listened to Max and Harrison argue, while I tried to explain to Quinten that now wasn't the time to ask my thoughts on a sushi bar, while Jason brought my least favorite food into my office, and spilled half of it on the floor.

It left me with a pounding headache, one that was not soothed with whatever I'd brought for lunch.

"It's not safe. I know she doesn't want to stay behind, and I know it's her job. If she doesn't go, people will think I told her to stay home. Or that she's scared. But it's not worth the risk." I answer him honestly, drawing a few stares in my direction. I sneer at Linda eavesdropping, even though she's nodding her head in agreement.

"Yeah," Rylan looks right at me, and he sighs. "Did you tell her Evelyn was in Amity?"

"No," I shake my head. "Her mother is there. If I told her Karl saw Evelyn strolling right into Amity, she would want to head there this second. I didn't want her worrying."

Rylan nods and swallows down a large gulp of his drink. "She's gonna tell you that if you go with her to the fence, then she'll be safe," he says slowly. "You know that'll be her excuse, right? That if you go, she can go."

"I do know that," I tell him, frowning at the rice and chicken I'd brought along with me. Rylan's lunch doesn't look any better than mine, and this day is slowly becoming depressing. "I just don't think it's smart on anyone's part. I'm essentially bringing her right out there, like some sort of live bait. Just opening up the opportunity for Evelyn to find her."

Rylan thinks this over and looks at me. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I figured if it got bad enough, Max would call off the trip and you'd be in the clear." He pauses, and his expression is truly apologetic. "If the threat of them is bad enough, the classes won't go. That was my thinking."

"I understand."

I make the snap decision to forgive him, because really, I got what he was saying. I was right in my assumption that he'd been looking out for Everly, even if it meant pissing me off.

At my words, Rylan looks relieved, and so does Linda. She smiles from across the table, then turns back to Max when he asks her to pass him a napkin.

"So, how are you and Everly doing? Anything new you'd like to tell me? Anything you're maybe…expecting to happen?" Rylan grins, and he winks as he leans in. "Maybe in a few months?"

Linda drops the napkin. Her head tilts toward me and she freezes.

"No." I shake my head. "And I expect you to not ask me that again. For a long time."

He rolls his eyes. "You're no fun. But fine. Did you have fun at your anniversary dinner? It looked like you were having fun."

"Absolutely not." I retort, and he grins. "There was maybe thirty seconds of it I enjoyed. The rest I could have done without."

"That hurts." He pretends to look insulted. "See if I ever have a party for you again. At least can we talk about Daniel drugging your Mom?"

"Blythe." I correct him, and he smirks.

"Okay, Daniel drugging Blythe. You have to admit it was funny when she went after Four. I kept thinking she might get up and smack him in the head."

"If only…" I answer, and Linda goes back to listening to Max talk about his weekend plans. "It was nice that Daniel showed up, and it was even nicer that he drugged Blythe to come along with him. I have to say, I was mildly impressed he attempted it. I'm sure she was furious when she realized what he'd done."

"Oh, I bet she was. She doesn't like Dauntless or Amity, and he combined the two things she hates all into one night." He stops and shoves his plate away from him. "Your Dad…Daniel, he told me he was happy for you. That you and Everly are good together."

"Oh, well good. Whatever would I have done without his approval? My life here would mean nothing." I retort dryly, and I take a single bite of the rice. It's bland and unappealing, and I wonder if Four might want it.

Rylan snickers. "True. Are you going to see him any time soon? Jason told me he was here and he had dinner with Everly."

"Nah, I'm good. I've seen him enough. He showed up here because he wants to get to know her. I told him that was fine. But don't expect me to hang out with him. I asked if he'd take Arlene back to Erudite and he refused. Said he's overstaffed."

"Ha. He's probably thinking she's your problem now." Rylan looks at his watch, then up at me. "Wanna get out of here? I'm heading down to work out in a bit. I hear Fourteen is supposed to be there, too. We could see if we can make him nervous by staring at him."

I let out a bark of laughter, and my day brightens somewhat. Back in our own initiation, Four had tried to stay as far away from us as possible. I'd found him suspicious from day one, but once Rylan and Jason heard my theory about who he was, they were all over him. Jason was the one who figured out that Four didn't appreciate us watching his every move, and their stalking him had begun then. They trailed him whenever they could, and always worked out as closely to him as they could get. Anytime anyone looked their way, they loudly announced what good friends they were with him, and how much they looked out for him and they couldn't wait to share an apartment with him.

He hadn't liked any of that.

"I'm in." I announce, and I push my own plate back. "You want to go eat something else? I don't want any of this."

"Me either. Let's grab Jason on our way out. I think he's in his office."

We both stand up, and Linda points to the sign on the wall. " _Rylan Anthony Margolis Anderson and Eric Sebastian Coulter_ , the trash can is over there. Don't forget to clean up after yourselves. I threw out eighteen coffee cups this morning."

"That's not my name." I answer her darkly and she shakes her head.

"I don't care. I'm not picking up after you two anymore. Do you know how many bagels and donuts I've found in here? Half eaten? A muffin with a single bite taken out of it? Put your garbage in the trash or I'll put it on your desk."

"Yes, Mommmm." Rylan answers, and he sulkily takes his plate over to the trash can. "And just so you know, that was Harrison. He said he didn't like the vegan muffins. No one did."

"I don't care. I'm not your maid." Linda cheerfully answers, and she raises her finger up at him as he stomps back over to me. "Don't forget, I know where you live."

"How funny," I comment, pushing Rylan forward a step. "Rylan doesn't even know where he lives."

"Har har har." Rylan answers, and he shoves the breakroom door open. "You're all so funny. Especially you. A real comedian."

"Yeah, that's me." I roll my eyes, and I follow him to the elevator. I know we're heading to Clyde's, and there's a good chance we won't make it down to work out at all.

But I'm fine with that.

I follow my friend's lead, and the rest of the afternoon slips away pleasantly.

 

 

 

"Oh fuck!"

Rylan's yelp echoes through the gym. It bounces off the walls, and he laughs when it seems to go on forever.

"Why is this place such a mess?"

I laugh as he hobbles by me, having hit his foot on some free weights lying around. We'd spent a good chunk of the afternoon at the bar, and now we were down here to work off the lingering buzz. Rylan and I had eaten a much better lunch during which I threatened to kill him for trying to convince people my middle name was Sebastian, and eventually Jason joined us. He ordered the first round of beers, and I ordered the second. By the third, I was done. I was nowhere near drunk, but the taste reminded me of a time I'd like to forget. So, we finished up quickly, and decided to cram in our workout before going home.

"Where's Everly? Is she joining us?" Jason asks, and his gaze zeros right in on Four. I was thrilled to find him still here, putting everything away. Everly appeared to be long gone, but not him. He'd thrown us one very wary look when we walked in, then went back to cleaning up.

"Nah, she's probably on her way home." I announce, and Four does his best to ignore us. "I told her I'd see her for dinner."

"Sounds romantic." Rylan's stare finds Four, and he grins. Widely. "It must be nice having a wife to go home to."

I see Four's jaw twitch, and it's hard not to laugh. I was well aware of his terrible, angsty romance with one of the few Stiffs in the faction. He'd been dumb enough to fall for Tris while she was in his class, and even with his best efforts, it had ended up horribly. In fact, I had been there when she dumped him, watching with vested interest as she told him she needed some space. It was unlike her to hiss such words at him, but they'd been eating dinner together in the mess hall when something went wrong.

Maybe he'd put too much seasoning on her food. Maybe he'd picked out the wrong entrée.

Or maybe it was because he hovered around her, so afraid to let her do anything by herself.

He had caught my stare when she left, smug and thrilled and wholly entertained by their relationship imploding, and he'd stormed out of the mess hall. Took a few days off. Sulked in his apartment and reemerged angstier than ever. A bitter man, who had loved and lost.

I was very happy for him.

I thought his new downtrodden demeanor suited him. I'm sure his new initiates found it appealing. A poor lovelorn trainer, who occasionally remembered to brush his hair, throwing himself into his training classes whole heartedly, making them think something could happen. Making them think one of them could be the one to win him over and cheer him the fuck up.

It wouldn't.

His mood worsened when Tris did her best to move on from him and he'd been left crushed. I can only imagine his anguish while she dated Jeremy, and we'd all watched him act like he didn't care. I knew he still talked to her. Helped her when he could. But she kept him at arm's length, never giving in to his pleading stares or the fact that he looked genuinely unhappy.

I found it good for him. It gave him some character. His classes seemed tougher, and while still not anywhere near my standards, he wasn't easy on them by any means. The scores improved and he wasn't as optimistic as he once had been. He avoided everyone, focused on his work, and spent his nights in the control room. His life was practically perfect.

Then, something happened.

Everly arrived, and though she wasn't in his class, his life had meaning.

Suddenly, he was all about saving Everly and proclaiming that I was the one she should be afraid of. He tried to sabotage everything I did with her, pettily insisting I'd hurt her. Kill her. Turn her in to Jeanine or snap her head off myself. He wove all kinds of lies that she could have fallen for, except none of them held any weight. His stories didn't hold up when I made her dinner, nor did they seem true when I let her sleep against me.

The irony of the entire situation was I'd married Everly, and even though I hadn't told her at first, it had been the most honest decision of my life. We'd stayed married, and eventually, it was impossible for me to hide what I felt for her. Even better, it was impossible to miss what she felt for me. I now had everything Four should have had and could have had. Had he not been so determined to control every aspect of what Tris did, they might have still been together.

"Very nice." I answer lazily, and I head right over to the punching bags. I toss off my uniform jacket, and I stop a few bags away from where Four is standing. He's doing his best to ignore us, gaze focused down on the papers in front of him, and his brow furrowed together. "Who knew that marriage would be so appealing?"

"Not me." Rylan answers and he laughs as Jason calls his name and gestures at something.

I can hear them talking, and I decide to get started. My first punch to the bag is easy, and the chains clank from the pressure. Rylan and Jason head in the other direction, and I'm dimly aware of Harrison waving them over. He waves me over, too, but I pretend I can't see him.

Because I need this.

All the rage, the built-up tension and frustration come pouring out. I keep punching, working through my rage from today, until my hands are sore. It's been a while since I've been down here to work out, and my arms ache in the best way possible. I recommit to coming down here, even if just for an hour, and spending less time on my couch watching TV. I'd grown complacent with Everly being there, and this might be what we needed.

Maybe I could learn from what had happened with Four. I could ease up on knowing what Everly did every second of the day, unless I was certain she would die.

I stop the bag from swinging, and I let out a sharp exhale.

Amity.

Fucking Amity.

I feel a strong wave of guilt once again, both at thinking of the word as her, Everly, and the place where her mother lived. I decide I'll send Karl through there, perhaps planting a few men to hang out in the area where Eden lived, just to be on the safe side. I wouldn't tell Everly, not unless things got worse.

Which presumably they would.

Because they always did.

And they do.

"Hey."

I look up, totally lost in my thoughts, and I'm surprised to find Four standing there. I'm even more surprised to see he'd been beside me for most of my time here, and he'd worked out along with me. I clearly needed to spend more time working out, because my mental focus was slipping.

"Are you uh, pretending that bag is my face?" He gestures to the bag, and his own hands are red.

It's unlike him to ever make a joke, and it's as flat as his personality, but it makes me smirk. I shake my head no, wondering what the hell he wants. "Nah, your mother's."

"Understandable." Four answers, and he looks right at me. "I heard you're coming along to the fence with the classes."

"I am." I face him straight on, sizing him up. "You got a problem with that? I'm not going along to hang out with you. I'm going to make sure Everly comes back."

"I figured." Four nods. "I don't blame you. I heard…I heard from Karl that he saw Evelyn. Near Amity."

I squint at him, and I mentally demote Karl to the kitchens for speaking to Four.

"Yeah, she went right into the faction and no one even blinked." I don't know why I'm speaking to him, though it's not as awful as I'd remembered it to be. He and I had been civil, but it had vanished when he sent Everly into the factionless compound to find me. Then again when his mother reappeared. Then again, when he didn't appreciate me taking Everly out of the training room to talk. "I can't send a ton of men there to find her, or she'll run. But I'm sending a few to stake out Everly's mother's house in case Evelyn tries something."

"That's probably for the best." Four responds carefully. "If you want my help, I'll go with you. She's tried to get a hold of me a few times since we talked. If she sees me, she might make an appearance. Which is why it's smart that you're coming along to the fence. If she knows Everly is out there with me, she could try something. It won't hurt to be on alert."

"You want me to use you to draw your mother out? You're aware of what happens when I catch her, right?" I raise my eyebrow, waiting for him to rethink his plan. To my surprise, he nods.

"You and I both know what she's done. You think I wanted any of this?" He pauses, and I give him the benefit of the doubt to let him keep speaking. "I thought she was dead. Then suddenly she's not dead, but she needs my help. When it doesn't go her way, she turns around and becomes determined to ruin everything I have going on. All because I don't agree with her. My relationship with everyone I care about."

I stare at him, and he stares right back.

"You know what I'm talking about. Not just Tris. She's going after Tris because she thinks it'll be easy to find her or rip her away, but Everly as well. I consider her a friend of mine even if you'd rather I not. She's not above trying to get to both of them."

I stare at him, and the high of my workout slowly deflates as he keeps fucking talking.

"I know you and I don't get along. And there's a good chance we never will. But…your wife and my…Tris are friends. Really good friends. And I don't think you and I should get in the way of that. I think there has to be a time when it's just…things are civil again. For their sake."

"I don't care who Everly is friends with." I sound way more defensive than I'd like, but I can't help it. "She hangs out with Tris all the time."

"I know." Four answers, and there's an odd moment that passes between us. I can't put my finger on it, but it's uncomfortable on every level. Like he's asking for something without saying it. "Just…Evelyn deserves what she has coming to her, and Tris deserves to have Everly as her friend just like Everly deserves to have her. I think we can agree on both of those things."

"Sure." I answer easily, thinking he's lost his mind. One minute he's talking about his mother, and the next, he's worried Everly and Tris can't eat dinner together.

"Eric…I'm serious." He presses, and I'm suddenly aware that I'm standing here talking to him, and my hands aren't even clenched.

"I don't know what you're getting at, but I see no reason that they can't be friends. And if you're willing to make up for what you did, then fine. I'll make sure you're there when we find Evelyn."

"Good." He answers back just as easily, like he's been thinking about this for a while. "I wanted to clear the air. I know you blame me for all of this, everything that happened to Everly, and I accept that. I've come to terms with what's happened."

I move to snarl good for him, that I'm so thrilled he's come to terms with everything, but he knows it. He shakes his head and stops me.

"If you never are good with it, that's fine by me. I'm not asking you to forget it happened. I'm offering to help lure Evelyn out and put an end to this once and for all."

"And this bullshit about Everly and Tris? Why the sudden concern over whether or not they can be friends?" I cock my head at him, curious if this was what he and Tris sat around talking about. Who they were or weren't friends with. "What are you planning?"

Four smiles.

It's an odd sight, much like when Tris is happy. But he shakes his head again, and steps away from me. "Nothing. I'm just…throwing it out there."

I narrow my eyes suspiciously, happy when he retreats back another step.

"Fine." I answer roughly, not really sure what he expects me to say. I had never once told Everly not to hang out with Tris, though I'm sure there were other people in the faction who were a better choice. But she'd accepted my friends without question, so I supposed that I could try to tolerate her friends a hair more than I had been.

"Fine." Four echoes. "I'll see you at the fence, if you don't need me before then."

"Great." I snap and I hate that this sounds like we get along. It sounds like we're planning something together, perhaps as two amicable soldiers, fully prepared to take down a mutual enemy. Beneath that sweet little scenario, lies a tricky and twisted story, but it's clearing up. I can feel things shifting and settling into place, and it's with extreme agony do I realize that might just involve Four as well.

 

 

I run into Arlene in the mess hall.

She ignores me at first. Eventually, after shoving past her to find Quinten busy showing two young children how to cook on the stove, she throws me a self-satisfied smile. I throw one right back at her, pretending we'd never had a conversation in our lives.

She ruins it by coming right over to me, elbowing me while I stand in the doorway of the kitchens. It was hot in here, the staff working hard to make sure everyone had dinner and it was crowded. I'd called on the walk over and ordered something for Everly and I, and now I was waiting for Quinten to bring it over.

"How's it going, Eric? Everything good?"

Arlene smiles again, and I stare at her, wondering why the fuck she got such joy from torturing me. I idly wonder if this is how the faction felt toward me.

"It's going great." I stare at the staff furiously boxing up orders that have been called in, and I hope one of them is mine. "Why are you in here? Don't you have some souls you should be stealing? Or did you finally leave Molly in charge?"

"Hardly," she scoffs. "That girl is an idiot. She's a fine receptionist but ask her why on Earth we have so many allergy meds and so few band-aids and see what she says."

"Sounds like a real crisis." I answer dully, and she steps closer to me.

"Where's Everly?"

"I'm assuming at home. I was working out." I make the mistake of looking at her, and she's smiling so hard I would bet it hurts. "She's not home because she's tired, or sick, or anything that might somewhat hint she's pregnant. She was working and so was I."

"Who'd you work out with? I saw your friends walking in here an hour ago. Neither looked like they had just hit the gym."

"You've been in here for an hour?" I cock an eyebrow at her. "Are you trying to ruin the lives of everyone in here, too?"

"No. I was waiting for Max and he got caught up in something. Then I saw you wander over here, looking oddly alone. I thought I'd see what was up." She leans away from me and crosses her arms. "Was it Four? I saw him walking home after you."

"It was." I roll my eyes, and I ignore the fact I can hear her laughing at the idea that I'd worked out with him. "He just happened to be there. We didn't plan it. I'd rather die than purposely hang out with him." I pause, and I look at her, still cackling at my misfortune. "You know, I was going to tell you that you lucked out because Daniel didn't need help in Erudite, but now…I'm not."

"That's so sweet that you'd miss me. After going behind my back and trying to have me transferred out of here, it's heartwarming to hear you say that. Too bad you're not as smart as you think you are and your plan didn't work." She looks pleased with herself at my thinly veiled apology.

I didn't quite see it that way, but I wanted to say something.

I knew she had talked to Everly, and while I didn't quite know what she'd said, I was well aware my wife had not started any birth control. I'd found the packet containing a month's supply of pills on the closet floor, having fallen out of the jacket Everly had shoved it in. I hadn't asked Everly about it, because it wasn't entirely my business. If she wanted my opinion, she'd ask. She certainly wasn't shy about trying to figure out how I felt about things, and I had a feeling this would be one of them.

I was fully prepared to take complete responsibility however our lives turned out. I'd had sex with her not long ago, her hair tangled with flowers and a pink dress shoved up around her thighs, and I knew she wasn't on anything. I knew there was a possibility for her to get pregnant, and she knew it, too.

It was only a matter of who would say something first.

"Yeah, well, I figured if you left, with my luck, Daniel would come in your place." I pull away from the wall, relieved when Quinten walks over with a large bag in his hands.

"Are you really not going to tell me when she finds out she's pregnant?" Arlene inquires, loud enough that the whole kitchen staff turns to look at me.

I smile at her, fake and tight and ready to murder her all over again, and I shake my head.

"Never."

 

 

I find Everly sleeping.

The sight of her curled up on my couch is familiar, and so is the fact that she's not awake. I flash back to the time I'd made her spaghetti, in a weird and vague attempt to celebrate a tiny moment of victory with her, and she'd fallen asleep. Right in front of me, after a single bite of her dinner.

She looks the same now, the exhaustion of her day having won out. Or maybe something else. Maybe she was sick or maybe the cramps had come back. Maybe she'd thought about going to the fence and decided she should stay put and that wore her out.

I eyeball the clock as I set the bags on the kitchen counter, and I decide I'll see if she wakes up. If she were really tired, she'd sleep like the dead. She'd open her eyes to blink at me, then immediately shut them. If that was the case, I'd carry her to bed and eat by myself.

But that doesn't sound appealing, either.

I scowl as I walk over to the couch, wondering how long she's been home.

She doesn't wake up at all, not until I brush the hair off her face. Her eyes open slowly, confused as to what's going on, and I notice she looks slightly paler than normal.

"Why are you sleeping?" I ask without thinking, and she blinks a few times.

"I had a headache, so I laid down." She sits up, staring at me while she reaches for the glass of water on the coffee table. "I didn't mean to fall asleep. What time is it?"

"Seven. I got back later than I planned. But I brought dinner." I inform her, relieved she's fine. She takes a few sips of the water, and I nod before heading back to the kitchen. "Give me a couple of minutes and I'll get dinner ready."

"Okay."

She stands up as I search through the bags, looking for what I'd ordered. She looks at me once, then heads to the bedroom without saying a single word. I hear her shut the bathroom door, and I focus on plating the food Quinten had made. Since our anniversary dinner, there was a significant increase in the quality of food served here. At least when it came to what I ordered. The rest of the faction was still eating whatever creation stretched his budget the furthest.

I grab forks and knives as Everly reappears, and she smiles at me. She looks much better now. The color has returned to her face, and she looks far more awake.

"We can eat on the couch," I call out, and she heads that way.

She sinks down in the same spot, pulling her feet beneath her and leaning back. "How was your meeting?"

"Fine. Max isn't convinced we saw Evelyn." I hate that I wind up lying to her. I tried to think of the best way to avoid telling her that it was more than likely Evelyn. I decide to omit the part about me having Karl head down there to check on her mother, and also the part where Four offered himself up as a human sacrifice. I figure she couldn't be mad over this, since I was looking out for her. "He wants to send a team down there to check out the area, but he doesn't think she'd be so careless. It seems I may have been a little premature when I told you they saw her."

She looks at me carefully, and I wonder if she's suspicious. She doesn't say anything right away; she gratefully takes the plate from me and waits until I sit down next to her. "You'll still go with Four's class to the fence. I'll still go with you."

That part isn't a lie.

"I'm glad we're still going," she answers brightly. "I don't want to miss it."

I shrug, watching her carefully balance her plate on her lap. "It's not that great of a field trip. There are better ones you could take them on."

"Like where?" She looks up at me, suddenly excited about the thought of going somewhere else. Unfortunately, the timing was garbage for her wanting to be dragging her class through the factions. I watch her brain whirl while she sits there, probably thinking of all the places I'd taken her.

But I knew where I was going. I knew where the safest, most guarded routes were. I'd taken a few chances by having her run further out with me, but I had little worry that something would happen. I'd also taken her with me on a few errands. We'd visited Johanna to discuss some security agreements she was breaking, and I'd had the pleasure of seeing Everly's ex-boyfriend try to convince her to move back to Amity.

I shrug, and I decide she can ask Four. Since she likes working with him so much, the two of them can plan the next trip their class goes on.

That thought leaves a sour taste in my mouth, and I try to figure out why. From the looks of it, she was happy training the class. She was doing just fine, and she and Four got along well. I knew eventually she'd grow tired of my beef with him, and it would come up. Maybe that was it. Maybe I was sitting here, glaring at my food, because Four had been right.

At some point, he and I would have to put this aside.

"I had lunch with Tris today," Everly announces, and she looks up at me like I should be jealous.

I'm not.

"That sounds riveting." I raise my eyebrow at her, and I flash back to my conversation in the training room. "I'm sure you two had a great time discussing Four."

She looks confused for a split second, then smiles. I only brought up his name because I figured that was all they talked about, and he'd decided he wanted to talk to me. I scowl when I realize he'd tricked me. He knew Tris and Everly were eating together, and he probably encouraged it. Which meant that if I didn't, or I told Everly I never wanted her to hang out with Tris again, I would be the villain.

He'd played me.

He knew if he was the one who suggested this faux truce of sorts, he'd be the one who looked like the hero.

I hate him.

So much.

I think of this while I eat, and I finish, realizing I haven't said much to Everly. I feel a punch of guilt, and that only darkens my shitty mood. I had to admit I was feeling all over the place. I had Everly, one second seducing me with a crown of flowers and a dress made for dancing in a field, and in the next -dead set on going on the most dangerous field trip of all. I had Arlene, lording over me in an attempt to figure out the exact moment Everly and I conceived a child. I had Rylan, keeping secrets from me because he thought that was the best choice. And now I had Four, masterminding how to look like the superior and more mature person in our feud.

I wait until Everly finishes eating, then I stand up and take her plate from her. I throw the dishes in the dishwasher, not having the energy to wash them tonight, and I toss my jacket on the counter. I stand there and press my palms into my eyes, letting the world turn black before me.

The feeling is pleasant until it isn't. I open my eyes and head back to the couch, sitting down further than where I'd eaten dinner.

Everly immediately comes to sit by me. She wanders over quickly, slinking down into the open space and curling herself right up against my side. I move my arm back behind her, resting it on the back of the couch and around her shoulders, and I nudge her closer.

Some of the tension from today fades away as she settles against me.

"Thanks for dinner," She looks at me, and I stretch my head from side to side. Her eyes are warm and green, following my every movement.

"You're welcome."

She's up to something.

She reaches for my shirt, and her fingers find the first button. I'd showered after my workout and dressed in whatever I had left in my locker. Her eyes are focused on what she's doing, and she pulls her bottom lip between her teeth. She undoes one button after the other, until my shirt is completely open.

"Are you tired?" She asks, and I wonder what possibly inspired her to start this.

Was it my annoyance at the idea of her going to the fence? My irritation that she could be killed? Or did Quinten slip something into her dinner?

"Hardly."

Her fingers skim over the side of my chest, and she twists around to face me. I've found that I've always let her touch me however she wanted, though even now the touch feels far too sweet to be for me.

But it is.

That's the best part.

"Come here," I instruct, bending down to meet her halfway. My mouth finds hers, her nose cold against mine, and she leans in.

I move my hands down her sides, until I can yank her on my lap. Everly slides one leg on each side of me, giving herself a second to balance there, and I use this to my advantage. I smirk at her when she looks at me, then I kiss her.

Viciously.

It doesn't matter that it hasn't been long since the last time I kissed her, it always feels like it's been years. It's never enough, even just this. Her squirming as my fingers dig into her skin, me jerking her foward and her lips parting as my hand slides into her hair. I grab a fistful of it, thankfully free from the flowers, and I hold her in place. My other hand skims down her side, finding the curve of her waist and I realize this is all I ever want.

She seems to share that sentiment.

"I'm really glad you're home," She says the words lowly. I've pulled her head to the side so I can kiss her neck, in search of warm skin and the spot that makes her shiver. "I was thinking of you…" She stops when I bite her, knowing that her skin will turn pink, with the indentation of my teeth. It's a temporary claim, visibly only for a bit. She sighs against me, pushing herself closer, grasping my hair when I nip at her again and my hand slides around to her back. "I was thinking… ow!"

She jerks away from me, and I stare at her in confusion. She'd never once pushed me away, and I'd done my best not to hurt her. I frown when she squirms to regain her balance, and her face is scrunched up.

Something is wrong.

"Are you alright?" I glance at her neck, thinking maybe I'd really sunk my teeth in. "Did I hurt you?"

"No, it's not my neck," she blurts out. She looks at me in this oddly pleading manner, but the second I touch her, she leans back away, threatening to fall off my lap. I realize what's bothering her is her back, and I wonder if she'd hurt herself earlier.

Since she's not telling me, I take matters into my own hands. My immediate thought was something happened during the training class, and neither she nor Four wanted to fess up to it. She was already thinking I'd refuse to let her go on the field trip, and this wouldn't help that.

I reach for her quickly, grabbing the bottom of her tank top and sliding my hand beneath it. I keep my palm flat, hoping to find a faint bruise rather than something serious.

Instead, I find the very familiar sensation of raw, raised skin that was the result of several needles being jabbed in repeatedly. My grip tightens on her waist, confused as ever.

As far as I knew, Everly didn't have a single mark on her.

Or did she.

I carefully twist her around, and to my surprise, there are my initials. Her initials. Our initials. On her lower back, surrounded by the same tattoo that was on the back of my calf. It was one I had gotten a while back, and it wasn't lost on me that she was probably one of the few people in the faction who'd ever seen it.

For a moment, the air seems to be sucked out of the room.

She has my tattoo, along with the letters of our names, permanently on her.

She bites down on her cheek when I touch the outline again, and I look right at her.

"What the fuck did you do, Everly?"


	42. Amity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed these last chapters! I'll get back to you ASAP! I had some laptop issues, so I'm using a borrowed one to make this update and I can't reply from my phone. (Go figure, lol.)   
> Anyways, enjoy!

I am well acquainted with the skin of Everly's back.

On most people, and normally myself, this wouldn't be an area of much interest. My eyes would have been drawn elsewhere, skipping over this in favor of other features.

But for some reason, not Everly.

I knew every inch of her. She was still rather slender, her shoulders sometimes too sharp and her skin too pale. Her hair fell down to the lowest part of her back, often tickling my chest and knotting itself against my hands.

I had been somewhat acquainted with Ashley's back, because it was a familiar sight as I thrust into her from behind, never taking the time to pay an ounce of real attention to her. I was familiar with it clothed, bent down, until I had gotten what I wanted.

But I'd paid plenty of attention to Everly's.

I'd taken my time to memorize the way her muscles linked together with each other, and just beneath them, the way her spine was delicately placed. I had let my fingers inspect her ribcage, the fragile bones that had been bruised and beat up during her training, but never breaking. I'd touched her lower back more times than I could count, lazily skimming my fingers over the smallest part, then leaving a trail of my most hidden and unfathomable feelings on the way back up.

I'd noticed all kinds of things. How soft her skin was. How free from anything –bruises, tattoos, marks, cuts, scrapes, or freckles. I'd noticed how it flushed, the blood pumping right to the surface, pooling quickly as she bravely tricked me into something else.

Now, there is something on her back, something I'm also familiar with. Flames the exact same shape as mine, and our initials, inked deep within her skin.

Everly stays perfectly still, perfectly balanced on my lap while her gaze holds mine. Her eyes are light and clear, and her lips turn up while she waits for my reaction. Despite having shrieked in pain a few moments ago, she looks fine now, lovely as ever and only vaguely nervous.

She shouldn't be.

While I never, ever imagined her wanting a tattoo, I wasn't the least bit against it. Almost everyone in Dauntless had one, even if it was small. Sometimes the ones who had the most obnoxious ink were making up for something, hoping the masterpieces on their skin were a sign of who they wanted to be, and those who had these tiny little ones hidden, like some neat little secret, were the bravest.

"I wanted to wait and show it to you once it had healed," She smiles, straightening herself up taller. "I got it today. I've been thinking about it for a while, and I wanted to surprise you. But you had to go and get all handsy…"

I let out a huff of laughter. I raise an eyebrow at her, amused that she'd try to turn this around on me. "I was handsy? You were the one who unbuttoned my shirt."

She does her best not to smile. I stare right at her while she stares right at me, and her eyes flash. "Do you like it? Because I do."

My approval, while not necessary, is somewhat necessary for her. I imagine if I told her no, that I disliked it, her face would fall. If I laughed at it, the idea of taking something from me, darkly personal and obviously hidden away from the faction, she'd be mortified. So, while it wasn't important that I liked what she'd done, it was.

My head falls to the side, and I suddenly wonder why she had gone alone. There was nothing wrong with the work on her, in fact- it looked very well done. Familiar. The design was clean and precise, and it was well placed on her.

"Why didn't you want me to go with you?" I ask her, and my fingers tighten on her side. "I would have liked to have been there."

Everly's expression changes to something funny, like she hadn't even thought to ask me. I should feel insulted, after all, I found myself doing almost everything she asked even if I didn't want to. After a beat, she shakes her head slightly, and her fingers curl into my skin. "I wanted to go by myself. It felt like something I needed to do on my own."

"I see."

My words sound far tenser than I'd planned. I wasn't mad at her in any way. She could cover herself in tattoos if that's what she wanted, but there was something oddly appealing about her, including this. There was no way in hell anyone else would see it, and it was clearly meant to symbolize the two of us. I still wish I could have been there to see her get it done, proud that she'd been able to withstand the pain.

"Amber did it for me," She announces, breaking the long silence as I thought about her going there by herself. I'm surprised Bob hadn't called, panicked that she was there, wanting something. I knew everyone thought I preferred her all innocent and sweet, but I liked this, too.

My fingers had been sliding up her side, but they stop when she says the name of her artist. Amber was a longtime acquaintance of mine. I'd consider her a friend, except that I paid for her time, and I only saw her when I wanted work done. But if Everly was going to be tattooed, that would have been who I wanted to do it.

"Good. She's one of the best in Dauntless."

"She's really nice. She said she's worked on a few of yours." Everly shifts forward, linking her feet behind my calves. "Can I ask you something? Do all leaders get the same tattoo?"

Before I can answer her, she reaches out to touch my throat. I let her, well used to her soft exploration of my skin, and I'm not surprised when her fingers find the blocks there. She skims them carefully, her gaze focused and intense, and I know she's seeing perfectly symmetrical towers permanently marked on me.

"No, it's not required. But the design is reserved solely for leaders who choose to add it."

She nods her head, her eyes still on my throat. Slender fingers slide under my jaw, then back down. This tattoo had taken Amber longer than either of us would have liked, and Jason had gagged when I told him where I was getting it. His was on his shin, still painful, but far less so than one's throat.

I had enjoyed the feeling.

The needles had been sharp and quick, and even with something to dull the pain enough that I'd sit still, I had gotten it during a time in my life when I was too drunk off my own self to realize how it should have felt. I had liked it, a burning feeling that mimicked being alive, triumphant as ever at all I had accomplished.

"I'm not sure if I would want it," Everly confesses, fingers stilling on my skin, and I shrug.

I don't blame her.

The dark blocks didn't suit her at all.

"It's not that big of a deal. No one will think less of you if you decide not to get it." I hold on to her waist, thinking of the harsh pattern and where it would fit on her skin. "How did you pick this design?"

"I wanted to get something permanent, something that would show how I feel about you and about us. Somewhere only you would see it, though." She leans into me while she talks, and her words satisfy any hesitation I might have had about her going down there alone. I smile at her, surprised that she'd done this.

There's something behind it, something I'd never thought of before. I wasn't one for gimmicky, matching tattoos. Rylan had gotten one with a girl from our initiation who he'd bonded with, and to this day, he still had tiny beer bottles tattooed on the back of his ankle. The girl eventually grew to resent him, disliking that he ranked higher than her, and telling him he was far too immature to have come here. She refused to speak to him once we passed initiation, but the tattoos were still there, with each other's initials on them.

Forever.

This has far more meaning than beer bottles inked during the latest part of the night after a long happy hour. The fact that she wanted to surprise me with this particular gift is telling, and even more so is the design. The tattoo could very well have been for herself, symbolizing something like her being reborn from the flames into her new life here, but it's also heavy with the symbolism of her and I.

"I do like my flames and our initials on your skin. And that I will be the only one to ever see it." I haughtily lay claim to the fire she'd picked out, though really, anyone could pick it from Amber's book. It was the symbol of our faction, but this one was slightly different. Different enough that it was hers and mine, and that was it.

I like the idea.

Even on the off chance that something happened, this would be on her forever.

My eyes fall from her stare, wide and happy, to her lips. I duck my head down to kiss her, shoving one of my hands into her hair. I pull her head closer, and my free hand slides up her back. This blissful feeling lasts only a few seconds, because she squirms away after a moment.

"Stop," She does her best to swat my hand away, a look of pain flashing across her face. "It hurts every time you graze it."

My satisfied mood vanishes just as quickly as it had arrived. There was aftercare that came with a tattoo, especially in the location she had put it. "I'm not trying to touch it. It's just that you chose to place it on your back. Where I like to put my hands."

She looks at me, and when her eyes light up, I know I'm in for something I won't like. She had the same expression the other night, and I wound up confessing that I'd have gone after her had I stumbled across her in Amity. I'd have fucked her in some dainty little dress, the fabric forced away frantically by my hands, and I wouldn't have even taken my jacket off.

It would have been mortifying, except there was no lie. I had enjoyed every single moment of it, but it would stay between her and I. I didn't know how, but she always seemed to get the best of me, and now is no exception.

She waits until she catches my stare, and grins. "Alright, then, you can't touch me. Keep your hands to yourself." Her voice is bright and cheerful as she leans back to look at me.

"I can't touch you," I repeat flatly, and I cross my arms in front of my chest. I'm not impressed with her words, and I'm even less impressed with her telling me what to do. I might have sat still for her flower crown game but telling me to keep my hands to myself wasn't my idea of fun. "For how long?"

She smiles sweetly, too sweetly, and I'm fucked a second later.

She reaches for the bottom of her tank top, and before I can blink, the dark fabric is gone. She tosses it to the side of her, and my mouth goes dry. Much like her dainty little dress, her bra is just as useless. Fancy and lacy, definitely made for someone with ulterior motives. She leans toward me, my legs spreading further apart as I sink back against the couch, still not moving, even when her nose touches mine.

"You can't touch me until we're done." She kisses me, and I shake my head no.

The Amity game, fine. I could admit I liked her in the dress, and I liked her keeping it on while we had sex.

But I didn't like being told I couldn't touch my own wife.

"No."

"Yes," She answers firmly, and her eyes darken. She looks down at me with complete authority, and the idea of little Amity in charge is funny. Hilarious. Mildly arousing, since she's half dressed, but incredibly frustrating.

Not that she couldn't be in charge. After all, she was on her way to becoming a leader here, and she'd be in charge of the entire faction.

But since she'd been here, I'd guided her toward the path that was best for her. I'd arranged everything, down to what we ate for dinner. Unlike Four, I wasn't afraid to let her fail. I just refused to let that happen. I saw a potential in her that no one else had. I saw what she could be, how strong and brave she was, how eager she was.

What she wanted to be, how badly she wanted to stay here. I recognized that want, the same feeling I had shared when I chose to leave Erudite.

Much like me, all she needed was someone to help her along the way.

So, I had.

On my own terms.

I will admit I had drug my feet when it came to how I felt about her, putting off the idea that it would be more than what it was. I had done it to keep her safe, not wanting her to be the target of Jeanine's agenda, and not wanting her to get hurt in the process. I'd kept her alive, doing anything in my power to ensure she was happy, and she'd never once seemed to want otherwise. Even in bed, while ambitious and willing, there was a sweet naivety to her that I couldn't deny I liked. She wasn't strutting around acting like she knew everything, nor did she make outlandish demands or try to manipulate me.

Until now.

I scowl when she pulls my arms apart and does her best to yank me forward. I glare at her while I take my shirt off, and I want her to stop. I want to push her off my lap, and take the rest of her clothes off myself, while my hands are all over her.

"Why can't I touch you?" I snap the words at her, watching as she reaches for the button on my pants. She undoes it without taking her eyes off me, looking up from beneath her eyelashes as my thighs tense up. My mind very slowly makes the connection of what's about to happen, and I'm watching it unfold in slow motion.

"Because. You have to just stay still. So you don't touch my new tattoo," She patiently explains. "You seem to have terrible self-control tonight."

She lets go of the button, her tone both amused and chastising as she looks at me. I narrow my eyes at her, unable to stop the tornado of arousal rising through me.

"I have terrible self-control? Says the woman currently taking my pants off, when all I was trying to do was kiss her goodnight," I smugly point out, watching as her fingers return to my pants, unzipping them without answering me. Her fingers scrape against the skin of my thighs, and it takes me all of thirty seconds to become hard. She climbs off my lap to take the pants off, and I kick them to the side without getting up. Once satisfied, she returns to my lap, pressing her lips to mine and looping her hands around my neck.

Her self-control is non-existent as she presses harder, digging her nails into my hair. I lose my focus when her lips part open, and she uses the chance to pin one of my hands to the side.

"That wasn't what you were doing and you know it." She mumbles her words against my mouth, and my hips jerk upward in search of some friction. This is beyond frustrating: her in my lap, me mostly undressed, and my hand pushed to the side.

I ignore her demands. I grasp her side, my fingers working their way up, when she pulls away from me.

"You are an awful listener," She informs me, batting my hand away from her. She looks a little too smug, but her messed up hair and pink lips aren't as innocent as she appears.

I smirk at the sight of her, until she shakes her head. "Sorry, Amity. I'll try harder."

She takes my look as a challenge. She stares right at me, her green eyes glued to mine, as she reaches around to undo the clasp of her bra. Her gaze is unwavering, persistently brave as she works quickly.

"You're serious," I state, my voice having turned low and rough as she pulls the straps down. "You're going to make me just sit here while you undress in my lap."

I watch her, until the black lace is gone. She tosses it away from us and leans back to look at me.

Her confidence might be more appealing than anything.

Her hair tumbles down her side, framing her breasts, and twisting at the bottom of her ribs. She is absolutely breathtaking, her skin glowing in the lighting and her eyes wide. The urge to touch her is overwhelming. To run my hand up her side, perhaps over her throat, down to cup her breast. To brush my thumb over her nipples until her eyes close.

She doesn't let me. Everly shakes her head, moving to straddle me. She hovers over me, far enough away that I get nothing. A faint whiff of her hair, and the softest, quickest touch of her skin grazing mine.

"You could enjoy this," She points out, and I swallow heavily. "Just trust me, Eric."

She's right.

I could be enjoying it. Never in my life has anyone tried anything like this. Ashley would have, I'm sure. The idea of winning me over, of pinning me down and making me lose control is something she'd have lusted after. Conquering me on the only level she could, sexually, would have been a win for her.

This is different with Everly.

It's utterly frustrating, because I am enjoying it.

I like that she's sitting on my lap, practically naked, and her only intent is to wind up with me inside of her. I like that she's brave, and also smart enough to know that I did trust her. Even if I was resistant to it, to this –letting myself receive whatever she was giving me, I trusted her.

I shift against the couch, wanting her lower, closer to me, and I groan when my attempts are futile. I let my head fall back, and I close my eyes, deciding I can't handle this anymore. I don't have the patience for her to take anything else off, or to squirm in total agony hoping she won't take much longer.

"Everly," I pause, growling her name irritably. "Hurry the fuck up and do something."

She does something.

Not what I want, but something.

She kisses my jaw, tilting my head just enough to work her way down. Her lips drag slowly, her nose against my skin, and I sit there. I sit there and let her, struggling to allow myself to just feel her. It takes her ages before she settles against me, and the weight of her presses on my erection. Not enough for what I want, just enough to make my eyes close.

"That's not what I meant." I inform her, and she ignores me. She shifts against me and shakes her head no. She seems to like that one, denying me what I really want.

Which was her.

"Tilt your head to the other side," she asks nicely, and I give in, because what else am I going to do.

An inhale later, her lips touch my skin. She takes her time on this side of my neck, humming in content as I let her. She's warm and soft, her breasts pressed up against my chest, and her hips occasionally pushing into mine. It's barely tolerable, the idea of her so close, yet so far away, so delightfully tempting.

She finally drags her lips away from my collarbone to look at me.

Her eyes are dark, brimming with both the same lust I'm feeling, and warm, happy affection.

For me.

That I'd let her do this.

"I love you," she tells me as she kisses me, letting her lips brush against mine for just a moment. I'm overly hot now, dizzied by both the thought of her seducing me like this, for the second time, and by what she feels for me.

Also by the fact that I just want to hold her down and have my way with her.

Her hands fall to my chest, taking their sweet time as she touches me everywhere. Despite my raging hard on pressing between her legs, and the fact that my teeth are ground together, she's in no rush. She slides them down my chest, over my stomach, to my hips. I swallow when her fingers touch the waistband of my boxers, and she pauses there.

"Everly…" I say her name and that's it. My pulse quickens as my legs struggle to widen, and my entire body is tense in anticipation of what's to come. I wasn't used to not knowing, and I'd much prefer to be the one watching her squirm.

We lock eyes when her fingers dip beneath the waistband. She smiles and I glare at her, my fingers digging into the back of the couch. My free hand is balled up into a fist, so tightly that my nails dig into my skin. The pain is nothing compared to the ache between my legs. The unrelenting throbbing pressure that's driving me mad as it worsens, second by second.

She watches me, and I regret everything.

"I thought you said I would enjoy this." I hiss, but the words die when she easily works off both her leggings and underwear. I see nothing but a flash of black thrown aside, and she smiles at me.

Widely.

Sweetly.

Completely and utterly in charge here.

"Lose your boxers." She stands there, completely naked, and waits for me to listen to her. "They're in the way." She points out, and her tone is smug. "Unless you want to just go to sleep."

She shrugs, as though she's not completely nude, staring at me sitting on the couch, with the most painful erection I have ever experienced. She has no clue that this isn't in my realm of experience, but I couldn't deny that I liked it. I could easily get off on little Amity bossing me around, and if she went through with it. She waits patiently, only a faint flicker of apprehension on her face that maybe this is too far, but I decide I'll listen.

This once.

I stand up, and with my eyes on her, I take my boxers off. My dick practically weeps after being trapped in my boxers, but it's not enough. Not even close.

"Sit back down." To my sheer annoyance, she gestures at the couch. She watches to make sure I'm still game, and I reluctantly drop right back where I was. Before I can tell her to get on with this, she's on my lap, grinning widely. "Now you're doing much better at listening."

"You better be going somewhere with this."

"Oh, I am... eventually," She promises, and I wonder if I've lost my mind.

She distracts me, picking up on the fact that I won't let this go on too much longer. She attacks me like she's been waiting for this moment, kissing me softly at first, and ignoring every chance to take it any further. I let her kiss me how she pleases, until her lips part open and her tongue finds mine. Her hips slam into my own, and I groan at the feeling of her. She's wet against my cock, just as slick as I'd hoped.

"Everly, so help me God, if you don't hurry up…" I hiss at her, groaning when she slides herself back and forth, making my eyes shut.

"What will you do? You can't touch me, remember?" I open my eyes to her teasing, and I lose it. Her cheeks are red, both from what she's doing and how turned on she is, and her breasts are right up against my chest. Her hips keep going, and I know it wouldn't take much for her to sink down onto me.

Or for me to thrust up into her.

"One minute. You have one minute before I touch you and then fuck you into the floor," I announce, and I'm done. I will shove her right off me, onto the luxury carpet someone had lugged up here, and I will fuck her until I can't see straight. It won't be romantic or slow, and it sure as hell won't be me whispering how much I adore her.

It would be payback.

For this.

"Eric." Everly says my name, bringing me back down to Earth. I look at her right as she rises up, and the head of my dick is right there. Right against her, just about to slide in. The feeling is evil. Downright miserable. I'm having a hard time forming a coherent sentence out of the anticipation, and it's hard to suck in a breath. "Is this what you want?"

"Everly…" I growl her name, shoving my hips up just as she eases herself down. She takes me inside her slowly, until she's comfortable. Sheer horror rises up at how good this feels. How tight and wet she is, how hard and aching I am. How utterly delectable it is when she moves her hips, her lusty self unable to stop despite her wanting to draw this out. I don't move, in fact, I can barely see straight past her large eyes and full lips, and I just let her ride me.

I watch as her eyes close, relieved at the feeling of us joined together, and I reach for her. My hand finds her throat, wrapping around it carefully, and her eyes fly open.

She is absolutely alive and one hundred percent mine.

I realize I'm breathing erratically, the lack of air making me dizzy, but I don't care. I keep my hand on her, tightening it as she pushes against me, whimpering as everything starts to feel that much better. I can feel her tighten around me, her body tensing and pressing toward me, her breathing now just as sloppy as mine.

I grunt against her, watching her skin turn a slew of reds, and everything seems to rise up at once. Her eyes darken as my thumb touches her lips and her hips slam against mine. She's close to coming, the victor once again, and I watch her slowly lose it.

I try to slow things down for my own guilty reasoning, wanting to draw this out just a few more precious seconds, never wanting it to end. Despite my hesitation to what she was doing, this is all her. It is slow and warm, delirious and unlike what I'd ever wanted, and completely freeing. I've let her fuck me, turning the tables around on everything I knew, but it's still Everly.

She keeps going, searching for the ultimate orgasmic high, whimpering as she gets closer and closer. I'm powerless to stop her, or my own rise. With a dull, embarrassingly slow comprehension, I realize I'm going to come right along with her. That this is literally and figuratively out of my hands, and I have no choice but to surrender.

"Don't stop," I grunt at her, unable to remember a time when this wasn't my idea. "Everly, faster."

She listens, though I don't know how much of it is on my command. My head drops back and my fingers dig into the couch and I let go of her. My world is darkening as everything contracts. My stomach, my thighs, my calves. A familiar sensation runs through me, and I let Everly continue on. I blearily see her on top of me, riding me as she wants, until she fumbles for me. I feel her hands grasp at my arms, clawing at me to look at her.

The look on her face is frantic, as the in control Everly lessens, and she wants me touching her again. I could tell her no, that she wanted to be the one in charge, but I don't.

I immediately reach for her.

One of my hands slides underneath her hair, cupping the back of her neck and tilting her head toward me. I grasp onto her hip, her skin warm and sweaty, and I dig my fingers in to hold her in place. Her pace matches mine, just as frantic, but now together. I stare at her, suddenly wondering how I got so fucking lucky. How I wound up married to her. How I'd ever thought that I didn't want someone who cared for me.

How I ever thought I wouldn't want this.

I hold onto her tightly, pressing her as close as I can, until it becomes too much for her. I watch her reach the ultimate high, and she groans my name. Over and over, until I come just as hard. I lose sight of her, overcome by the rush of bliss that's strong enough to make my eyes close, and when I come to, she's resting against my chest. I can feel her heart beating frantically, and she's still, worn out from her brilliant plan.

I grasp a handful of her hair, the thick strands soft and silky, and my brain crows at me that I've lost this round. It cheerfully points out the score is now Everly 2, Eric 0, and I sigh, because I can't argue with those facts.

I will gladly accept myself as the loser of this round.

I tighten my fingers in her hair, and I realize she's half asleep. She's curled herself into me, every ounce of energy gone from her.

"Now I'm tired." I tease her, hoping she'll lift her head and grin. I want to see the look on her face, the way she'd probably be blushing something fierce, but her eyes are closed. I let her stay there, in no real rush, until her skin grows too cool to stay out here.

Then, I stand up. It's not easy to disentangle myself from her, but I do. I carry her to bed, to our bed, where there's probably six thousand more flower petals, or my jacket that maybe she'll ask that I wear, and I lie her down. I climb right into bed with her, deciding that maybe, just maybe, little Amity can be in charge again sometime.

Maybe.

I fall asleep seconds after I pull her against me, and I think of nothing but her.

 

 

"Does she know?"

"Know what?" I look up at Harrison, squinting at the very sight of him in my doorway.

I'd been working for a few hours now, completely immersed in the emails from the other leaders. Cara's had caught me by surprise but not for the reasons I would have thought. It was well written and articulate but very personable.

Too personable.

She was working with a few researchers to dig through the serums Jeanine had been working on, and she was more than willing to invite anyone who wanted to come to check out the labs and see what was going on. From personal experience, I knew it would be boring. They'd be watching different liquids poured together, while people stood around and took notes and discussed what was going on.

But the offer was smart.

She was reaching out, making herself available to the other factions and trying to strengthen the connections she'd made. She wanted to have some transparency, to build their trust after Jeanine had broken it, and to give people the option for questions. I had to hand it to myself for this one, that at least in Erudite, things were looking good.

She'd also emailed me separately, checking in to see if there was news on Evelyn.

I shut that shit down immediately.

I liked having what could be considered insider knowledge as to what went on in Erudite, and I liked knowing that people understood my position and authority here.

I didn't like people thinking we'd become fast friends. I had no intention of anything other than doing my job, and that meant making sure things ran smoothly. Cara was a part of that plan. Nothing more, nothing less. I emailed her back something short and blunt, letting her know she'd be included in all future security updates and to look out for them.

Jack's email had followed. He was less personable, cutting straight to the chase and asking me if I'd found Evelyn yet. He didn't love his faction living in fear, and the Dauntless soldiers prowling the streets wasn't exactly a sign that everything was fine. He prattled on about what I should focus on, then invited Everly and I to dinner, and asked if we had any future plans he might need to know about.

I'd gotten as far as trying to figure out what Jack was talking about when Harrison showed up.

"You know." Harrison answers vaguely, and he narrows his eyes at me. "Don't play dumb."

"I have no clue what the fuck you're talking about." My patience for the entire day runs out, and it's not even time for breakfast. "So, I don't really know what Everly knows and doesn't know."

Harrison sighs, far more dramatically than necessary. "Eric, does she know Evelyn is near Amity?"

I look up from my computer, and he's a step closer than he was before.

"Yes," I answer, and he furrows his brows together. "Well, she knows she was seen there. She doesn't know she walked right in. Her mother lives there."

"Karl's going, you said?"

"I didn't say that, but yes. He is." I pause, and I lean back in my chair. "You want to go with him? It might do him some good to have someone else out there. He's determined to find her, and he might need someone to slow him down. I don't need him blowing this."

"Yeah, that's fine. I have to head that way anyway." Harrison looks thoughtful. "Blonde kid, right? Looks like you but with a happier childhood?"

I stare at him, and I'm unable to stop myself from raising both eyebrows at him. "Yes, that one."

"Good kid. I like him. I watched him shoot a wild boar the other day."

"There are no wild boars here." I return to my email, and I pull up the next one. It's from Johanna, politely and very amicably asking why our patrols seemed to have picked up. She also asks if I'll be by soon, and I hesitate to write yes. "It was probably…something else."

"You don't know much about animals, do you?" Harrison shakes his head. "Alright, I'll go find your clone. With any luck we can be there by lunch."

"You're going now?" I type back a short reply to Johanna, explaining we've had some security concerns, and I hold off on announcing just who we'd seen. "Do you know where Karl is?"

"I'll find him." Harrison answers easily. "And yes, now. Max keeps trying to round everyone up to vote on the next three-day weekend, but I don't want to listen to him talk anymore. I'm peacing out of this joint."

"Have fun." I hit send, and I watch him retreat from my office. He looks back once, mock saluting me, before he shuts the door. I stare at the door for a long time, wondering just what on Earth he was planning on doing if he found Evelyn. With my luck, he and Karl would be the ones to discover her, and who knew what they'd do. "Harrison…wait…"

I yell out his name, but I'm too late. I'm also too late when I throw the door open, and slink out, looking for him.

He's gone, but I find Christian standing there, shoving his glasses up his face.

 

 

"No."

I bark the word at him, not at all happy when he trails after me down the hallway. He follows me into the breakroom, right to the coffee machine, and waits patiently while I make myself a cup of coffee. I gesture at him, silently asking if he wants one, and he makes a disgusted face.

"You drink coffee out of…a machine? Eric, have you ever tried a French press? It's much more refined than…than that. That thing is just spitting out hot water and coffee flavored liquid."

"That's…what coffee is." I inform him, and I cock my head at him. "Or go to the coffee bar. I don't care. I was just being polite by even offering you a drink."

"Well, thank you." Christian flips his hair off his face, then blinks. "You were very polite, that's true. I just don't want…that."

"Good. More for me." I take my coffee with me, and I drop down into the nearest chair. Christian sits down next to me, way too close. So close that his pointy, fancy shoe keeps kicking my leg.

"So, as I said before you ran off down here, I'd like to be in charge of your wife's wardrobe. I've been thinking this over for some time, and I'm not sure why you're so hesitant to have her come see me. She could be wearing the wardrobe of her dreams. And instead she's wearing…something hideous. Stretchy pants. And tank tops. Like, she's going to the gym or something." He looks at me darkly, like I told her to put on such an offensive outfit.

I say nothing. He shakes his foot and I shake my head.

"She was going to the gym. She's working down there training a class. And she doesn't wear that at home. You've seen her around." I finally point out, but he's not satisfied.

"No one here knows what she wears in your apartment, but we all have a good idea." He retorts, and for one second, I am horrified. I have a flash of sickening fear that somehow, that dress has made its way out of my bedroom and around the compound. That everyone knew what got me hard, really hard, was my wife in a pink dress, clinging to me with her arms around my neck while she asked if I'd have fucked her in Amity. "She wears stuff from the stores. Boring, basic, every day stuff. She could be walking around in amazing things. Especially now."

He pauses and I use the time to interrupt him. "Why now?"

"I heard about your plans. I had to get my latest vaccination and I ran into Arlene. She's a terrible woman and we can't even begin to talk about what she was wearing but I don't want to catch the bird flu. Harrison warned me about it."

I blink, and I realize I've squeezed my coffee cup hard enough that the liquid has overflowed onto my hand.

"BUT, she kept going on and on, about you and Everly, and pretty soon you'll have a child. I'm not that skilled with infants clothing, but I think I could be by the time your baby is here. I'll make the exception because where's the fun in making clothes that tiny? But honestly, Eric. Everly can't wear leggings her whole pregnancy. Or those dresses she and her friend picked out. They're fine to hang out at the bar, but not while pregnant."

"Why?" I ask him suspiciously, alternating between the desire to kill Arlene for suggesting Christian make my not yet conceived child clothing, and remembering that she was, as she claimed –looking out for me. "I'm sure she can wear whatever she wants."

"Who, Everly or the baby?" Christian leans in, and he smells like he's drenched himself in cologne. "So she is pregnant?"

"No." I bark again, and I motion for him to scoot the fuck away from me. "Arlene is suffering from a nervous breakdown. You can't trust a word she says. She's not right in the head."

"I have made some children's clothes. I made a cape the other day." Christian ignores me, lost in his own thoughts. "Actually, that wasn't for a child. But either way, it's doable."

"Okay, is there anything you actually need from me? Or was this it? Because you don't need to dress Everly or…" I pause, knowing this is exactly what happened to me last time. I blurted something out, and now here I was, suffering the consequences of my own actions. "You know, knock yourself out. Go make tiny outfits. I don't care anymore."

"Pink or black?" He looks at his watch, then frowns. "Have you thought about if your future child takes after your wife? Oh God. What if her favorite fabric is chiffon?"

"Get out." I point at the door, and by this point, my face must be nothing but sheer horror. "She's not pregnant. We're not having a child. But if we did, it would mostly definitely not wear anything pink."

"Oh really," Christian rolls his eyes. "Your wife wears plenty of pink."

"We're done here. I'll see you next week to pick up my pants." I stand up, taking my coffee with me, and Christian lets out of huff of exasperation.

"Fine. See you then. Bring Everly if she's free." He sulks, crossing his arms over his chest. "I can take measurements just by looking at her."

"GOODBYE." I leave as quickly as I can, flinging the door open to find Jason standing there.

"Hello." He answers cheerfully, and he doesn't move so I can pass by him.

"Have you been standing there the whole time? Listening?" I ask him, and he nods rather casually.

"Unfortunately, yes. I was waiting to get my breakfast, but you guys seemed to be having a meeting. I thought I'd wait. I didn't want to interrupt your uh… clothing discussion."

"You're dead to me."

I storm past him, retreating into the safety of my office, where emailing Andrew Prior is suddenly the highlight of my day.

 

 

I run into Four on my way home.

He stops in his tracks, his intent to talk to me, but I push right past him.

"Hey, uh, I just wanted to say I'd see you tomorrow and make sure you knew when we were leaving."

I ignore him.

I don't need him to tell me anything.

My mood is spectacularly shitty, mostly because Harrison reported that he and Karl never made it to Amity.

The factionless stopped them on the way, neatly barricading the road so they couldn't drive through. They had been fortunate to have back up right behind them, and it wasn't long before the road was clear and we had several new factionless currently sitting in holding cells.

But it was a very obvious message to us.

This might have been my chance to tell Everly she was staying home, but it was handled quickly and easily, and the trip was still greenlit, even though I had given Max an earful.

I turn the corner when I hear Four sigh, and I have the feeling tomorrow will be one shit show after the other.

 

 

In the morning, at the early hour of six am, I meet Jason for coffee.

He slides into the seat across from me, already having ordered and he shoves his phone at me. "Did you see this?" He points to a satellite map that is mostly blue and white. It spans the area of every faction, and there is something circled in red. "There's a storm coming. Today. While you're out there."

"I know." I answer immediately, my voice flat and tired even though I'd gone to bed early. "I got the alert this morning."

"I told Max," Jason pauses as a sleepy looking barista brings me a very large cup of coffee, and something covered in whipped cream for Jason. "I told him to call off the trip. I don't think this is good."

"Why?" I take the drink, and I'm debating if I want to drink it. Jason fancied himself to be a coffee snob, but unlike Christian, Jason tended to favor things that were overly sweet. Disgustingly sweet. Even his plain coffee was ninety three percent sugar, with a little milk thrown in. "The storm isn't supposed to hit until later. We should be back before it starts snowing."

"In theory, you should be back before it starts snowing." Jason answers, and he crosses his arms over his chest. "But what if it snows earlier? You can't control the weather. You could be stuck out there with Four."

"Could be worse." I shrug. "It could be just Four and I. At least I'd have several others to keep him distracted while I walk home." I make a halfhearted joke, yawning as the barista shuffles away from us.

Jason doesn't smile.

"It'll be fine. We'll go out, look at the shitty fence, let Everly have the time of her life, meet the guards, listen to Lauren give some speech, and head home. Even if it snows, it'll be alright." I point out, and I'm not sure where his hesitance is coming from. "I'll can always call for a truck if things get bad."

"I don't think you'll be able to." Jason argues, and he eats a giant spoonful of the whipped cream. "This storm is supposed to be bad. I'd like you and Everly to come back alive. I have to say, Eric, I think this plan is stupid. Especially now."

"Me too." I agree, and I take the smallest sip of my drink possible. To my relief, it's normal coffee. "But it's part of Everly's job here, and she's determined to go."

"She's far too…" he pauses, searching for the right word.

"Short?" I cock my eyebrow at him, since her height was his favorite thing to bring up. "Small? Unprepared to be stuck anywhere with dozens of initiates despite what she thinks? Not ready to be attacked by the factionless?"

"I was going to say nice." Jason throws me a dirty look. "I think she's prepared. Out of anyone in the faction, I think she'd be fine if she got stuck somewhere. But what if the factionless attack? Even with you there there's a chance you'll all die. I think she's too concerned with trying to prove something. No one cares if she goes to the fence or not."

I shrug. I'd had this same argument with her myself but had gotten no real answer since she was dead set on going. "No, they don't. I don't care. Max only cares because he thinks it'll make him look good if she says she wants to go."

"Then stay home." Jason bargains, and his concern over our deaths is truly heartwarming. "There's plenty to do here. Harrison just got a complaint that there's weird noises coming from the lowest levels. Some kind of weird scratching. She can come with us to look at it."

I shake my head, because I'm sure the last thing Everly wanted to do was investigate Jason's theory that Dauntless was haunted. "I already told Max we were going. It'll be quick. We'll be back for dinner. If you want, we can meet up at Clyde's tonight. Invite Meghan."

He doesn't look convinced, but he relents. He stares at his coffee, then sulks while he eats another bite.

"Fine. I'll track you guys, anyway. I can always call in backup if something goes wrong." He offers me some whipped cream, and I realize there's very little coffee in his drink. "I'll invite Meghan later. We're supposed to meet up around five."

"Good. We can meet at five thirty then." I rub my eyes, wondering why the hell I was so tired. Maybe it was the thought of going on this trip, or maybe it was because there was a chance we'd encounter the factionless and I'd have Four as my backup. "How are you guys? Good?"

"Yeah, we're good. Always. We beat this level we've been working on. Took us three days." Jason's mood improves greatly, and I'm reminded of the first time I met him. He was both serious and witty, and his interests couldn't be further from mine. But we'd aligned ourselves immediately and had been friends ever since. I appreciated a lot about him, even if I didn't say it as much as I should. "You and Everly can come over sometime. We could all play it."

"I'll ask." I take another sip of the coffee, having no intention of asking her. While she liked the movies, I couldn't see her playing a video game for hours on end. "Hey, will you do me a favor? While we're out there, will you pull all the security feeds from Amity? Karl and Harrison were supposed to go, but they couldn't make it. Can you see if you see anything unusual out there?"

"What isn't unusual in Amity?" Jason laughs. "But yeah, I'm on it. I'll check them out today. I'll keep you posted."

"Thanks," I smile, and I lean back as the barista returns with a plate of assorted cookies. "Is this your breakfast?"

Jason nods, reaching for something covered in frosting. "I ordered them for both of us. Have one."

I shake my head no, but eventually I reach for one. I sit with him while he eats three more cookies in the span of a few minutes, and I slowly eat a chocolate chip cookie. I have to admit it's not half bad. He talks about Meghan some more, and then changes the subject back to whatever is lurking on the lowest level of Dauntless.

Before I know it my watch beeps, reminding me it's time to head home and wake up Everly.

I feel two hundred years old as I bid Jason a farewell, and I slowly walk home, hoping this day might not be as awful as I was thinking.

 

 

I'm wrong.

The first thing Everly does is warn me to be nice, and I shake my head no. My coffee had long worn off and I decide I will not be nice. I have no reason to be nice to anyone, let alone Four and his class.

I'd gotten dressed with absolutely no enthusiasm. I wore the newest uniform we'd been given, making sure my jacket would looker sharper and more important than whatever rags Four had found to throw on, and I'd combed my hair. Everly dressed similarly, but she looked happy. Really happy. I couldn't even bring myself to do more than halfway smile at Everly, and that smile had fallen away the second I heard the classes approaching.

The roar of them is louder than I'd like.

This particular group of initiates, combined with Lauren's class, takes up every inch of free space around us. They are wild and frantic as they file in, and they shriek with excitement at the idea of being taken out of Dauntless for a few hours. I'm sure after spending all their time with Four, this is incredibly exciting. I narrow my eyes as they rush past us, crashing into each other, into the walls, and eventually -into me.

The kid is the unlucky victim of his friend's over excitement and the lucky recipient of one dark sneer from me. One of his friends shoves him forward a step, and he knocks right into me. To his credit, he reacts immediately and appropriately. The boy jerks himself away like I'll rip his head off, then stumbles back to his group. I recognize him as one of the Dauntless born, supposedly braver than the rest, but chicken shit as our stares meet. He looks back at me once more, his eyes wide with horror, and then he trips trying to sneak in between his friends.

"Fantastic," I mutter, and I draw myself up to my full height. I'd mentally prepared for this, but the annoyance of being here had already far exceeded my expectations. This quick trip to the fence was starting to seem like a mistake, but now I have no choice but to go along. Leaving would mean Everly was in the hands of Four and staying meant I would possibly suffer a migraine before this day was over.

Given I have no real choice, I push Everly toward Four and Lauren, realizing we might as well get started.

Lauren looks first.

Her gaze is hot and nosy, and she stares at Everly with an interesting expression. I hadn't forgotten her odd attempt at coming on to me in the showers, and I probably never will. I could appreciate her bravery, but the way she's analyzing Everly tells me she's sizing her up, seeing what she has that Lauren doesn't.

Which is everything, but Lauren won't know that.

The two of them are of similar size and build, though Everly is somewhat shorter. They both have long dark hair, and both currently hold the same position. I smirk when Lauren scowls at Everly's jacket, the perfect replica of mine, because while they are both trainers here, Everly has the advantage of taking whatever job she pleases and can ascend the ranks easily.

Lauren doesn't.

"Five minutes!" Lauren yells out, and her voice carries over the swarming crowd. Unlike Everly, she's smartly dressed for the cold weather. Like Everly, she still looks cold. She pulls on the sleeves of her jacket then fixes her collar in an attempt to warm up. Her boots are heavy and lined with fur, and she shakes her head as a few from her class punch each other.

She eventually turns to acknowledge that I'm standing there, her dark eyes flicking up to meet mine, but she doesn't smile. Four doesn't either, but after I'd rejected his offer of friendship, I'm unsurprised. Maybe I should have brought him a cookie.

"Nice of you to join us," Four greets us flatly. He doesn't look at all happy to see me, and I'm not happy to see him. Not after I figured out his real motives.

"Yes, well, it seems that anytime something bad happens to my wife, you're somehow involved. So here I am." I answer him snidely, unable to help myself. I can feel the annoyance slowly working its way through every cell of my body, and there is a large part of me that's enjoying the way his class is watching this argument unfold. I'm sure they'd picked up on our rivalry from the few times I'd been in the training room but seeing it in action has to be even better.

"Guys, I think we should head to the train," Everly announces, and she moves to step between us. Her eyes find mine, and the look behind them tells me she's not impressed with my attitude. Which is unfortunate for her, because I have no plans of changing it. Not now. Not ever.

"Eric," She says my name quietly, tilting her head as her fingers find mine. She tugs me a step toward her with the assumption that I'll head to the train. "Can you please, please...please not harass Four during this trip?"

I look down at her, raising my eyebrows in mock horror at her slanderous accusations. "Harass Four? I'm not harassing him. I was merely pointing out the obvious reason why I'm accompanying you today."

Her grip tightens on mine, as tight as she can hold on. "Eric."

I widen my eyes in total innocence. "Everly."

"This is important to me," she says softly, and she looks concerned. I don't like the look on her face, the worry working itself over every feature, and I find myself giving in. I am aware it's important to her, and I suppose I could try to keep my mouth shut for a few minutes.

"Alright. I'll let you enjoy your trip, and I'll make sure Four doesn't accidentally leave you behind for the factionless to find."

She tries to give me a dirty look, but she can't hide the fact that she wants to smile. The whole idea of this is ridiculous. At the height of our security crisis, we're accompanying Four and Lauren to the very area that Evelyn has been spotted. We'll be in one spot, with a large number of unofficial members, who will all be distracted and unable to be of any help.

"Thank you," She answers, pausing to rise up on her toes. I'm surprised when she kisses my cheek, but mostly smug. Lauren's class is staring at her, gaping as they realize she really is my wife, and the only person who could get away with that. A few blink, like they weren't sure what they really saw. "And I'm glad you're coming with me."

"I know." I smirk at her, and it's my turn to pull her along a step. "Come on. Train's almost here."

She and I take off, along with the slew of initiates, all staring at my fingers, still in between Everly's.

 

 

"Whatever happened to that family Harrison brought back?"

Everly asks me this pressing question as the train turns sharply, and I glance down at her. We'd been on here for some time now, and it was warm and crowded. It wasn't entirely unpleasant, but it was noisier than anyone would prefer. She and I hung out toward the end of the car, having been the first ones on, watching everyone file in.

Since we'd taken off, I'd felt a surge of antsy adrenaline, though I couldn't place why.

So far, everything was normal. No one had died, no one had missed the train, and Four was keeping to himself. Every so often Lauren would look at him, her sour expression matching his, but they didn't speak. They just observed the classes, watching them with fake, intense interest.

"The ones from the factionless compound? Didn't someone say they were going to help find Evelyn?" I catch her expression, both curious and hesitant, and there's little doubt she's thinking about the factionless. About the threat of them, lurking right where we are going.

"They're still in Dauntless. I think the mother is working with Quinten. Maybe that's why the food has improved." I cock my eyebrow at her, and she smiles.

"I thought they were going to stay with Harrison. He seemed like he was looking out for them." Her question is carefully worded. She looks mildly hopeful, like maybe Harrison had found the family of his dreams by taking in a factionless family, though I doubt there was anyone who could handle living with Harrison.

I shake my head no right as the train veers around another turn.

"He was. But his work is…a lot." I reach out to steady her so she doesn't fall to the side. "I don't think he had time for two small children. He's been working to find Evelyn for the most part. But I saw her last week and she seems happy with Quinten. Maybe that's what she needed. Maybe they're staying with him."

"Did they talk? Weren't they going to talk about…?" Her question hangs in the air, over inflated with her own worries.

"They didn't know anything. Evelyn used them just like everyone else. They didn't know where she went or where she could be. They weren't even the lowest tier of her army. Just a family who she promised the world to stay with her, then left them behind." I stare at her, and something hits me. "Did you know them? Or remember seeing them?"

She shakes her head. "I don't remember a lot about my time there. Sometimes I can remember talking with her, but only bits and pieces. Never enough to be of any help."

Her frustration is palpable, but unnecessary.

I didn't need her to agonize over what happened while she was there. She had survived her time amongst the factionless, and that was all that mattered.

"We'll find her. Sooner or later."

Everly looks at me, her eyes large and green, and a million miles away.

 

 

The Amity fence is unfortunately familiar.

I eye it as we head toward the winding staircases, taking in the layer of snow that's fallen. Jason's worry might have had some merit. It had been snowing lightly ever since the train left, and the temperature had dropped quickly from this morning. Even now, it seems far colder than it should. It doesn't help that the wind slices at us as we walk, and it picks up the higher we go. Most of the initiates are dressed warmly, but it's not enough. They groan as they try not to slip, and a few mumble that their hands are numb.

In front of me, Everly must be close to hypothermia. She takes her hair out of her ponytail and looks back at me every so often. Her lips are pressed together, and her skin is spectacularly pale.

I smirk, wondering if she's wishing we'd stayed home.

"Watch your footing," Four yells out, glancing back at the class. He's up ahead so he can lead the way, and he looks just as cold as everyone. He's pulled his jacket collar up, and he wipes at the snow that lands on his face.

I take the stairs two at a time.

I stay close behind Everly, slowed down only when someone loses their footing. The result is everyone stopping, and I'm close enough that my chest is right up against Everly's back. I lean down over her, smiling as she holds onto the railing for dear life.

"Careful, Amity. You slip out here and we'll have to apparate into Hogwarts and have them cast a healing spell to put your head back together."

I'm not quiet at all, and neither is her laugh. Nor are the giggles from those in front of her. They might not have any clue what I'm talking about, or that I've just revealed that I may have skimmed the stupid books she was reading. But it would be her luck she'd fall backward now, and it would be my luck she'd crack her head open again and I'd be forced to take her to the Amity infirmary.

If they had such a magical place.

"Nope. Can't do that. It's not possible to apparate into Hogwarts, remember? So, if I do happen to fall, please promise me you'll at least take me back to Dauntless," Everly answers me quickly, throwing me one amused look over her shoulder.

I shake my head. "And miss out on the chance of visiting your mother? Not on your life. I'm sure she has some oils she could rub on the open wound. Shouldn't burn at all."

She laughs again but keeps her stare on the steps in front of her. "Fine, but if we go, be prepared to drink the tea she makes. If I get treated there, so do you."

I let out a bark of laughter. It's lost in the wind, and in front of me, Everly shivers. We keep going, pushing upward, until we reach the platform. It's even colder up here, and the wind seems to come from every direction.

"Everyone this way." Four keeps yelling, but it's hard to hear him. A few heads turn in his direction, and those in Lauren's class look confused by his orders. Eventually, most figure out that he knows where he's going. I watch the blur of black mix with a sea of slightly more colorful characters as they head his direction, and for the first time, a few chat with each other. They've been kept fairly separate in their training so far, and this is the first chance they get to size each other up.

Compared to Lauren's class, Four and Everly's listens better. They look more put together, but most lack the edge that Lauren's class has. Her initiates are rougher, having grown up in Dauntless, and they have a cockiness that could bite them in the ass. They should be careful. Even now, they're still joking and pushing each other, paying little attention to why they're here.

Lauren doesn't care. She stomps along with them, just as arrogant as a few of her loyal trainees. I notice the ones I know are ranking highest in her class stick near her. They mimic the way she walks and throw wary glances when they notice me observing them. I know a few simply because they've lived here, and they're well aware of who I am. One smiles tightly in my direction, but returns to trailing after her.

Lauren stops near the railing, and once she's certain everyone is looking at her, she looks at me. Her lips turn down at the sight of Everly, but she throws her shoulders back and squares off to the class.

"This is the fence," Lauren yells out, and I can't help but snicker at her words. She might be a good trainer, tough and mean and unwilling to deal with anyone's shit, but she's not as impressive as she thinks she is.

"No shit," I answer dryly, electing a few laughs from the class around us. "Thank you for that astute observation, Lauren."

She throws me one dark look. I ignore her, because we've been here for two minutes and I'm already bored. "I can't wait 'til she points out which faction works the patrols out here."

"Eric," Everly elbows me, and I sigh in exasperation.

"Fine. Enjoy your tour…of the fence." I roll my eyes when Lauren rattles on, and Everly shakes her head as she tries not to laugh.

The class mills around for a moment, half listening to Lauren, then they follow her as she waves them back to get a better look. There is a moment of surprise from some, because up here, the view is mildly impressive. The fields span out further than one would think, but beneath the fresh layer of snow, they look endless.

I catch Four squinting out at them, then up at the sky. He watches as it continues to snow, occasionally heavier flakes, then a burst of flurries. His concern is valid, because the snow hasn't let up at all since we left. I glance at my watch, wondering if Jason was right. If it doesn't slow down soon, we'll be forced to head back before this riveting tour is over.

"Do all the lower-ranking initiates work these patrols?" My attention is turned away from Four when some blonde haired girl asks Everly a question, and the girl's expression is very nervous. She looks down at the ground, then back at Everly, then at the ground. I wonder if she's afraid of heights, or if it's the idea of being stuck out here for hours on end that's getting to her.

"Usually. There's some room for growth in the position, and the patrols are not limited to Amity," Everly answers easily, and I watch the girl nod.

"Is there anything past these fields?"

"You don't really need to worry about that now," Four arrives by the girl's side, and he points to the field below. He's come out of nowhere, probably afraid the girl will fall over the rail or ask Everly something he doesn't want her to answer. "If you are assigned this position, you'll be fully trained on what to do, what to expect, and the protocols to follow in case you ever need to leave the post."

"Good to know," she answers him. She takes one look out over the fields, then returns to her friends, whispering something.

And then, they all fall silent.

They stand there, neatly lined up along the edge, looking out into the snow. All around them heavy flakes fall, dusting their dark clothing with each passing second. The wind screeches by in a particularly sharp gust, and next to me, Everly shivers.

"How long do you think we'll stay?" She looks up at me, and I shrug. She was the one who wanted to come here. To make it even better, I wasn't in charge of this trip, so I had no clue what Four had planned. But I don't think we'll be here long. There's another slap of wind, and Everly's cheeks turn red from the cold.

"Typically, we plan on an hour to be out here. They're supposed to be taken to the station at the bottom, but I don't know if Four and Lauren will have time to tour that base."

"Why?" She cranes her head to look up at me. I meet her stare, using the opportunity to close the distance between us. She looks beautiful out here, her dark hair glistening with snowflakes and her eyes bright. I reach for her without thinking about the class watching, and knowing that my affection toward her in any public setting is highly scrutinized. I brush away a few strands of stray hair and touch her cheeks and I'm right; she's cold, but doing her best to pretend she isn't.

"There's a storm coming, and it doesn't look good." I look back up at the sky, right as my phone vibrates. I don't have to look at it to know it's Jason, and his message is confirming that the darkening sky above us isn't good. Since we've been out here, the sun has slowly been sucked away. There's a weird, fluorescent neon glow to the snow that's now piling up, and the thick clouds forming above us seem ominous. "I think we're about to have a blizzard."

She nods her head. She looks over at Four walking toward us, and he shares her expression of concern.

"This weather is getting bad," He confirms my exact thinking, and my phone vibrates again. Then again. "We might want to head back now and catch the train before they stop running. Worst case scenario, we could try to get a few trucks from Dauntless to head out this way, if need be."

He stops talking, and his stare falls to my hands on Everly. I don't let go of her while I think about what he's saying, but I'm distracted. Through the wall of initiates, something catches my eye. I dismiss it as the wind, picking up debris or something from the field, and I decide this storm is worse than I thought. We won't have long to get inside before the storm hits. My phone buzzes loudly, Jason's persistence starting to become worrisome, and I shake my head at Four. "You won't get enough trucks out here to take both classes back in time

Four looks like he's about to protest, but I cut him off. Whatever is in the field moves. I tense up as the form shifts to the left, then clearly takes a few steps to the side. "Did you see that?"

"Did I see what?" Four answers quickly, looking left and right. "Where?"

I let go of Everly and head to the railing. I squint through the flurry of snowfall, and I point to the figure in the distance. "There's someone out there. Right there. You see them now?"

"Do you think it's Evelyn?" Everly is suddenly right by my side, her eyes searching for the figure. I tilt my head as I lose sight of the person, and Four does the same. "Eric? Four? Is it her?"

I look down at her, and I make the snap decision she'll return to Dauntless. There weren't many people who would be out in the fields during a snow storm, unless they had nowhere to go. "I'll stay here. You, Four, and Lauren take the class to the trains. I'll grab whoever's on patrol and take them out there with me."

To no one's surprise, Four doesn't like my plan. "I should go with you. Lauren and Everly can take the classes back."

I flash back to his offer to help me. It's appreciated, but not smart. While Lauren and Everly could make it to the trains just fine, there's not a chance in hell they should go alone. No matter how trained they are, to someone with nothing to lose, they're the perfect targets. "No, you take them all back. There's a patrol squad out here for this specific reason."

For a reason I can't quite place, Four looks pissed off. His expression darkens, and he shakes his head no.

"Then we'll wait it out. You head down there, take your squad, and then we'll all go back," Four thinks quickly, but we're running out of time. I don't know what his hang up is. Maybe that if it's his mother down there, he'd like to say a few words. But that won't do anyone any good. He'll be holding up getting everyone back to Dauntless for one very personal reason.

"No. Take the class back now. That's an order, Four." I bark at him, and he finally gets the hint that I'm not fucking around. I appreciate his offer to bravely go find his mommy, but not at the risk of Everly's life. He turns around to grab Lauren, and he walks off with his shoulders up near his ears.

I feel Everly grab my arm, and she pulls me back toward her before she utters the dumbest thing she's ever said to me.

"I'm going with you."

"Absolutely not." I snarl at her, and I feel my entire body tense up. Of course, she'd want to go. Wouldn't that just be wonderful, for me to bring her with me only to find Evelyn and her army hiding out in the fields.

"Eric," She protests, and I cut her off.

"If you think for one minute I'd bring you down there…"

"So you want me to stay with Four? You just said something bad always happens when I'm with him. And you want me to walk back to the trains with him? What if this is a trick? What if they're waiting for us?" She looks right at me, and her eyes are flashing with determination. "It would be awfully convenient for them to attack while I'm walking back with the class. And you want Four to be the one I'm with if that happens?"

I blink at her.

She has a point, a tricky one that I don't like, but I can't argue it.

"I'm more than capable of coming with you. We'll go down there and check things out. Then we can go home. Together," she insists. The snowfall picks up in that second, dumping wet flakes onto the top of her head. "I am not going back with Four. He and Lauren can take the classes back."

I stare at her, thinking of the first day I'd met her. She had the same look of determination about her then. The same brave, intensely ambitious side of her, wanting desperately to be accepted here. She's worked hard to earn her place, and sending her back with Four when she wants to come with me would be dismissing everything she'd done.

I finally shrug, my shoulders tense and cold and I'm entirely unhappy, but I have no choice.

It's clear she's coming with me.

"Okay."

 

 

Ten minutes later, Everly looks torn.

On one hand, she looks vibrant. Pleased to have gotten her way, and excited to be partaking in such an event. The walk down the stairs had been quick and cold, and she'd practically bounced down them.

After a few minutes, her cheerful expression faltered. She'd caught the stare of several soldiers, for good reason. Neither of us were truly dressed to walk through the snow, and the temperature had dropped even further. There was a brief moment of respite while we waited in the station, but it vanished the minute we stepped outside.

We were met with a harsh, wet, wonderland of white snow.

Which immediately gave way to a dark muddy snow. A few steps in revealed slick trails, hidden rocks, and soggy crops that had died not long ago. She did her best to keep up behind me, stumbling over whatever lie beneath the white powder, and occasionally swearing when she tripped.

I kept ahead of her, knowing we didn't have long.

"This way," I call out, waving the squad after me.

They had been ready for action. All the soldiers were heavily armed, and ready to go on my command. I knew most of them, and they were the best I could have asked for. Unfortunately, I'm not any more reassured by this. I feel edgier than ever, knowing it's because Everly is a step behind me. Even with a gun in her hand, surrounded by men who knew keeping her alive was a major priority, I wasn't reassured.

I found it suspicious that I'd found nothing. It hadn't taken long to get out here, and with the incoming storm, there was no way someone would have had time to slip out of here without us noticing. But there's nothing. No foot prints. No trail. No sight of the figure I saw.

"How far are we going?" Everly asks. She pulls her jacket closer, and shivers with every step she takes.

"A hundred yards further. We'll split up, then rendezvous in twenty minutes," I answer quickly, using this opportunity to announce my plan. I push further, figuring that should give us enough time to either find someone, or return to base.

"Do you think it was her?" Everly walks faster, trying to stay right with me. She wipes at her eyes, then looks up. It's grown dark quickly, and her skin now looks violet in the low light.

"I don't know. I can't imagine who else would want to be out here right now," I respond honestly, but I'm hoping I'm wrong.

After a moment of silence, I stop and point to the west of me.

"Half of you take the left side. Don't waste my time. You find anyone, you take them back to the station, no questions asked, understood?" I throw out the command to all of them, and they nod. They split up without question, and Everly follows me to the right. I hadn't told her which way to go, but I wouldn't have sent her off without me.

We walk in silence, surveying the land quickly. It appears even more endless from this angle, dropping off at a point I can't see.

"Eric," Everly calls out my name, and I glance down at her. "I don't know if Evelyn could survive out here." I've been trying to think of somewhere she could hide herself and an entire army, but I can't think of anywhere. There's not really any shelter amongst the crops, let alone past the edge of the fields.

She looks hopeful, maybe thinking we can turn back now before we go any further.

"I'm sure she could find a way," I point out. "You saw how resourceful she is."

"What if she went beyond the wall? Are you going to follow her there?" Her hand finds my arm, grabbing me and pulling me back. I slow down, glancing at her out of the corner of my eye. "Will you kill her if you find her?"

Her words catch me off guard, and I wonder if Four has put some dumb idea in her head. I can't see why she'd want Evelyn alive, but then again, Everly had forgiven Four. This meant anything was possible.

"I don't know, Everly. I haven't given it that much thought. I'd shoot her on sight, sure." I pause, shrugging as a gust of wind blows past us. "Bringing her back to Dauntless for interrogation seems far too kind for the woman who kidnapped my wife and tried to wipe her memory."

"I know," She answers, and her fingers tighten on my arm. She pulls me closer, and her eyes are glued to mine. "I just want to make sure she can't hurt anyone else."

I'm oddly relieved. I'd half expected her to tell me she wanted to talk to Evelyn, or perhaps try something else. "You don't need to worry about her hurting you or anyone else ever again."

She loosens her grip, nodding her head. There's a bleak smile on her face, not quite a real one, but I know she's okay for now. She keeps up as we walk, now right beside me, but she's quiet. We've made it to the first clearing I've seen, and to my annoyance, there's nothing out here. This area of the field is barren. The pathways are empty, the crops are dead, and there's nothing except a few trees that won't survive this storm.

It's not a particularly good sign.

"Anything?"

One of the patrol men stops next to us, frowning at the absence of everything. He shares the same look of frustration that I have, though his might be more because I'd dragged them out here and we hadn't found shit. Only snow, piling up by the second.

"No."

My answer is as sharp as the howling storm, and he nods. Everly looks around the clearing, then wraps her arms around herself. We stand there together –icy winds scraping at our faces and straight spines, until the other soldiers come into view. I wait until everyone convenes around us, defeat washing over me when they realize there's nothing out here, before I order them all back. I can't help but accept the stinging burn that I hadn't found her. I hadn't been entirely sure it was her, and I couldn't be, but this reeks of her.

Winning.

Our walk back is silent. I have nothing to say to anyone, and I spend most of my time debating what to do next. There's a chance someone was out here, but I couldn't tell if they were a threat or not. I also couldn't have soldiers tramping through the snow for hours on end, coming up empty handed.

We return to the station as quickly as possible, and those who are working inside look up expectantly. I quickly relay our findings –which are nothing, and everyone shares my shitty mood. The few remaining soldiers are watching the computer screens, and I catch a flash of train track, followed by the camera falling off line.

"Did they make it back?" I look at the woman in front of me, and she nods.

"They did. They must have left just in time because they've been reported as having arrived at Dauntless. No further communication past that."

"Good." I snap. Not that I particularly cared what happened to the class, but it was one less thing to worry about. "Anyone in here catch sight of anything? Anything on the radar?"

All around us, heads nod. A few offer up the same thing I saw: a blurry figure in the fields, trying to get out of the snow. But that's it. The snow was blocking the view of most of the cameras facing those fields, and the footage was grainy. I feel vindicated that I was right in my thinking that I'd seen someone, but it's fairly pointless since no one could make out who it was.

"It might have just been someone from Amity. Some of them like to hunt the deer that occasionally roam through here, and there might have been one idiot out there tonight." One of the soldiers who'd walked with us looks at me, and his gaze reeks of exasperation. While fully prepared to be called out at any moment, trekking through this storm wasn't something he had planned. "Dumb fucks. We saw a few walking back earlier. Could have been their friend. They didn't appear too bright."

Next to me, Everly frowns.

I'm sure she doesn't appreciate him calling those in her former faction idiots, but he's not wrong. If they were out there hunting, then they'd caused far more of a commotion than necessary.

"We should probably call off the next patrol. The snow doesn't seem to be letting up." The man next to him, just as annoyed and just as red faced, points his finger to the window. "There's no use in us being out there if we can't see."

"Absolutely not. You're all to return to your assigned patrols. If the weather prevents you from physically maintaining your post, you're to head inside and you can monitor from there." I glare at him, wondering if they thought they were getting the day off because of the snow. He did have a point; they couldn't very well be out there, but that didn't mean everyone should go home. If I was right, this little storm would be quite the cover for Evelyn. "I'm sure you're well aware all posts are on high alert. I don't really give a fuck whether or not the snow lets up."

The soldier looks at me with as much defiance as he can get away with. It's fleeting, because he knows what'll happen if he keeps going.

"Return to your work. I'll expect your reports by the time I arrive back." I sneer at all of them, knowing full well that'll keep them busy for a while. I don't need the reports, in fact, I have no desire to read about them finding nothing. Especially since I was there with them. But it'll keep them here until their shifts are over.

I turn back to look at Everly, her smile sympathetic yet still freezing, and I pull her after me. We leave together, stepping out the station door, fully ready to head to the trains. We only have a few minutes to make it before the next one is due, and I'm hoping it's been slowed down by the snow. That will give us some time to get there, especially at the pace Everly is trudging along at.

Unfortunately, my luck seems to be completely gone for the day.

The door shuts behind us, and with immediate horror I realize the blizzard is in full effect.

We'd only been inside for a few minutes, but the air is icy and the sky has darkened. It's hard to see, and the snow fall is heavy enough that we're forced to scramble back inside. One look at the soldier's face, the very one I'd just barked at to send me his report, tells me he doesn't have an ounce of sympathy for me.

All around us, the faction shuts down.

 

 

"It's really nice to see you again."

I could stab someone.

In fact, I'm fighting down the urge to scream, surrounded by bales of hay, and the faint smell of a fire burning out.

We were stuck.

Fucking stuck in fucking Amity.

Johanna's words are welcoming, despite her gaze that keeps bouncing off me like she'd like to ask me to leave. If I could, I'd gladly do so. There's nothing I'd like to do more than get the fuck out of here, out of this snow, and back home with Everly. But I can't. I can't do anything, because as we stood in the station at the base of the fence, everything slowly powered off.

The computer monitors.

The screens.

The ancient control displays, blinking with lights to signal what was on.

The heat, dying with a drawn-out groan.

The lights.

The soldiers looked like they wanted to laugh at me if they could do it without me murdering them. I'd refused to let them go home, and now I was suffering the same fate as them. Trapped in this storm, with few options. We could have stayed at the base, but it was crowded, teeming with irritable soldiers who would now be forced to wait out the freezing conditions.

We had no choice but to head into Amity, into Johanna's office, and announce that we were staying.

"Sorry to drop in on you like this. We got caught in the storm, and the trains have stopped running," Everly answers politely, her voice hiding her unease. She shifts her weight back and forth, and I wonder if she remembers standing here memoryless, while she clutched my arm and hoped I'd take her back to Dauntless with me.

I certainly do.

"This is quite the storm we are having," Johanna answers her softly, completing ignoring the fact that the snowfall was brutal. That it had been enough to trap us here, forcing us to seek shelter in a faction that neither of us really wanted to be in. She seems to be enjoying herself, like this day is just dandy as ever and there was nothing more than a few snowflakes coming down.

I have no patience for any of this. On the march over here, I'd wracked my brain as to how we could get back. I'd yanked out my phone to call Jason, only to discover I had no signal.

"Does your computer work? We need a way to contact Dauntless and let Max know where we are." I stare at her, knowing this is my last hope. There's a very low chance that Max would be sitting at his desk, but I could at least email him.

Johanna smiles, high as a kite, and she shakes her head. "I haven't tried it since it started snowing. You're more than welcome to use my computer if you wish. Perhaps you could attempt to contact him while I talk with Everly?"

I glance down at Everly, busy pushing snow dampened hair out of her face, and I shrug. I can only imagine the sort of things they have to talk about, and I have no desire to be a part of that.

Johanna gestures at her computer, then reaches for Everly. The two of them take off, making their way down to the horses. I use this time to my advantage, taking a seat behind Johanna's desk, and shoving all sorts of crap out of my way. I scowl at her disorganization, though it looks like she was working on something.

I rifle through the papers, cringing at her messy handwriting. They look like plans for spring crops, and I wonder if she realizes that spring is sometime off. I frown when I toss them aside, noticing her computer is off. I frown even further when it doesn't boot up. The screen stays black, mocking me with my own reflection while I sit there and scowl.

"Well, fuck." I hiss at no one.

I push the button a few times, but nothing happens. It stays off, refusing to save me. In a flash of anger, I debate pushing the whole thing off her desk. Instead, I reach for my phone, hoping maybe I'll get a signal here.

To my delight, I do.

It connects.

Sort of.

For half a second, my phone dials Jason. His name is lit up across the screen, and my hope hinges on him answering. The logical part of me knows there's nothing he can really do. It's likely we're stuck here until it stops snowing, and it's not like he's got a snow plow on standby. My hope dies when the phone disconnects, the signal too weak to connect.

"Shit." I kick Johanna's desk, enjoying the way her whole desk shakes. I smirk when a plant falls off, and I kick that, too.

I lean back in the chair exhaling in total exasperation, because now, I have no choice but to find Everly and hope she hasn't decided she wants to stay with her mother.

 

 

My luck turns around marginally.

Rather than taking us to Eden, Johanna leads us to a familiar room, and tells us we can stay as long as we need. Judging from the way the wind is forceful enough to shake the windows, we'll be here for a minute. I walk into the room with a scowl, pulling off my damp jacket and tossing it onto the dresser.

"So there's no connection at all?" Everly looks at me, her face a mix of emotions. She looks relieved to be out of the cold, but aware of my hatred of being here. She takes in the room we'd stayed in once before and watches me stand there glaring at the furniture.

"Everything is down. I'm sure most factions are running off backup generators by now." My stare slips over her, to the fireplace. Much like everywhere else, Amity has no power. Johanna had enough foresight to have someone come light the fireplace in here, and the room is already warm.

Too warm.

It feels suffocating compared to outside, and with the snow pressing up against the large windows and the sun gone, it all feels claustrophobic.

"How long do you think we'll have to stay here?" Everly takes off her own jacket, then plucks at her sleeve. She has to be freezing. My own clothes are soaked from walking through the fields, as well as my boots. Right as I decide to take them off to dry, Everly takes off toward the bathroom, disappearing into the dim lighting.

"A few days, maybe. Hopefully the storm lets up soon, but it looks like a bad one." I walk behind her, pulling my shirt off over my head. I find her standing there, fumbling with the switches. "Are you taking a shower?"

She turns to look at me, her eyes wide and smug, and she nods. "Before all the hot water runs out."

I throw my shirt to the side, not caring where it lands, and I smirk at her.

Despite my extreme aversion to this faction, perhaps it won't be completely awful to stay here.

 

 

"It's getting cold."

Everly gasps the words, half laughing them as the water does, in fact, turn cold. I was more than happy to step into the shower with her, pleased that it was large enough for both of us, and even more pleased that there was hot water left. We'd showered quickly, using something that smelled like it was made with essential oils and no actual soap, but I felt cleaner. Warmer. Hotter, as I thrust into her from behind, holding her against me while she sighed my name over and over.

"Good thing we started early." I hiss, and the feeling of her wet skin against mine is almost enough to make me forget where we are.

"Don't stop. Eric, yeah, there…" she groans nonsense at me, warm and lovely as ever.

One of my arms is around her waist, and the other is braced up against the wall. The water sputters, doing its best to keep up with our demand for hot water and losing miserably.

"This was a good idea," I murmur the words at her, bending down to kiss her cheek. My actions are sloppy at best; I'm distracted by how good she feels, and annoyed by the water splashing onto my face. She pushes herself up on her toes, trying to make the angle less awkward and better for her, but she nods.

"I have to agree. Definitely one of the better ones I've had."

Her head falls back against me, and a second later, she's tensing up. I give in, completely happy to come right then and there, with her against my chest. There is a burst of delirious unrealness, then she stills, the water still streaming around us, and her skin slippery.

Her breathing slows down, the quick, frantic pants returning to normal, and she smiles. "We should get out of here soon. Before we freeze."

"I'll wash you off again." I offer, but my eyes are closed. If I keep them shut, I can pretend we're back home, and I'm about to carry her to bed. After a moment I open them, because I decide this isn't that bad. I can carry her to bed here. "Sound like a plan, Amity?"

"Please." She reaches up to pull my head to hers. My shitty mood is forgotten as I kiss her, reaching for the handmade soap. She turns to face me, the water now lukewarm at best, and her hands dig into my hair. She presses her lips firmly against mine, until the only warmth is our skin melded together.

 

 

Things aren't entirely shitty.

They could be a lot better. We're still stuck in Amity, having not been rescued in the thirty minutes we were in the shower, and it's still dark and snowy. But things could be a lot worse, and I lazily choose this outcome over anything else.

After drying off with the scratchiest, smallest towels ever, we walked into the room to find someone knocking on the door. To my horror, it was Johanna. Bringing clothes that I had no interest in putting on, as well as something to eat. She warned us that things might be touch and go while we were here. Amity was keeping their kitchen open and operating, making sure all their members wouldn't go hungry. Since Everly and I were guests here, they were making sure we had dinner.

Everly was the only one to talk to her.

I lounged on the bed while they spoke, ignoring the towel threatening to fall off and Johanna doing her best not to look at me. I waited patiently, listening to Everly graciously thank her for whatever she'd brought, and I enthusiastically waved goodbye when Johanna left.

"Here. She'll probably be back, so unless you want her staring at you…" Everly threw dark fabric at me, her lips turning up at the sight of me. "She might like the view. Who knows?"

"Don't ever say that again. Or I will not be responsible for my actions."

I'd threatened her, pointing my finger as she walked over, but there was no malice behind it. She shook her head and walked the pile of hideous colors over to the dresser and told me to get dressed so we could eat.

It felt like hours had passed since then.

We finished eating, and I'd refused to walk the plates back to the kitchens. The sky was still spitting snow, and it dawned on me that even though we were in Amity, we were hidden away. These guest houses were meant to give visitor's their privacy. Most would not be as open or carefree as those in Amity, and this offered some solitude.

I couldn't argue this wasn't pleasant: lying in bed with Everly, my fingers dragging through her hair, pulling through the longest strands while she lay against my chest. It was a rare luxury of having the time to do absolutely nothing. With everything going –the war with Evelyn, mysterious figures in the snow, security threats left and right, and nosy bitches trying to uncover the most private details of my life, this was practically a vacation.

"Are you tired?" Everly asks, her voice quiet, yet heavy with something. She's about to ask me something. I can tell by the way her fingers pause on my skin, having slowed down their endless pattern.

"No," I shake my head, but I'm not as wired as I was when we got here. I'd been ready to put my fist through the wall at the idea of being stuck in Amity, but after eating a few carefully chosen items for dinner, I felt better. Somewhat relaxed, and had Everly not stopped trailing her fingers over my skin, I might have fallen asleep.

She rises up from my chest and turns to look at me. Her hair hangs down, touching my chest while she stares, and I smile up at her. It's an automatic reaction to the sight of her, gazing down with wide eyes. In this moment, she looks like she belongs here, even though I know she doesn't.

Her hair is black against the white nightgown, and even blacker against the hideous white sheets they seemed very fond of here.

"Eric, how do you feel about having a baby?"

Her question slaps the relaxation right out of me.

The warm feeling is long gone, along with the desire to fall asleep. I blink at her, having known that eventually this would come up, but completely caught off guard.

It's a feeling I hate, even when it came to her.

She takes a deep breath, and her eyes never leave mine.

"I think we should talk about this. And since we're stuck here, this might be a good time," She speaks quickly, watching me sit up. I feel hot, like I've been caught in the act of something completely inappropriate, and my throat tightens.

Days ago, hell, hours ago in the shower, I was fine with this. I had no qualms with the outcome of us sleeping together. I had boasted to Rylan that I wanted to have a child with her, and I'd crowed how I'd rub it in everyone's face. I'd have everything, and they'd have nothing.

But watching Everly say the words, her pretty face wrought with concern and her feeling like she needed to just blurt this out, makes my blood feel sticky and slow.

"We've discussed this before," I answer her, and I lean back against the pillows. She takes my answer as an invitation to join me, settling herself onto my lap.

I already know where this is going.

"Nice try, Amity." I grasp her by the waist, fully ready to knock her off me, when she shakes her head.

"Eric, I'm serious." She reaches her hands around my neck, and her fingers touch the very nape. She's lost in a sea of white and she looks fairly angelic for someone trying to get me to talk. "I haven't been on any sort of birth control since before I was held captive by Evelyn. Arlene wrote me a prescription right after our anniversary dinner, but I haven't started it yet. I want to make sure you and I are on the same page first."

I tense up at Arlene's name. I can see her face, smirking over Everly's shoulder, and her lofty demands that I inform her the minute Everly was pregnant. I drop my gaze away from Everly, to the sea of overly stuffed white fabric.

"I don't want to wind up pregnant if that isn't something you want." Everly speaks softly, her tone even and very calm. There's nothing offensive about what she's saying, but there's something about having this conversation that I was unprepared for. "Eric, this is something we have to decide together."

I stare at the threads, neatly laced together, and the pureness of everything in this room.

Her words are far more mature than what I'd expect from anyone. I'd married her without ever informing her of my plans, and since that day, I'd spent every second making sure she was alive. Happy. Healthy. With me. There's a gravity to this situation, a realness I hadn't planned on, or ever realized I wanted.

I just can't get past how much it hurts to admit it out loud. How desperate it makes me look.

How needy.

Even to her.

"Everly," I say her name slowly. "I've already told you. I'm fine with whatever you want."

"But what do you really want?" Everly asks, shifting closer. She's right against me, just like the time she asked me if I'd slept with Ashley. She's warm and soft, her weight familiar and her legs on either side of me. When I look up at her, she's patiently awaiting my answer. "Are you afraid of what kind of parents we'd be? I mean, are you concerned because of how Daniel and Blythe raised you?"

I stare at her, my lips pressed together.

Daniel.

Blythe.

Neither were parents of the year, and while I had no doubts that I could far surpass their parenting skills, it was hard to answer her.

"Can I tell you something?" She is so close that if she tilted her head, her lips would touch mine. "It's a lot, all of this. Sometimes, I feel a little overwhelmed by it."

I look up at her, and I suddenly wonder if this is when she tells me no. If this is when she tells me that while playing house has been fine, it's too much for her. It wouldn't be any surprise; I wasn't husband of the year, and while I had announced who she was and threatened the lives of anyone who looked at her wrong, I was still very unable to give her the reassurance someone else would. I wasn't outright affectionate, nor was I dripping with romance.

"I mean, I want everything for us. And sometimes I think about having a baby, and being a leader in Dauntless, and making you happy, and it seems like a lot on my plate. But I want it all with you, every last piece of our lives together. I just need to know what pieces of that life you want."

I let out a breath I wasn't aware I was holding, and it comes out sharply irritated when it's actually sharply painful. "I've told you before."

She stares at me.

Large green eyes, swimming with something I don't recognize.

"I talked about it with Daniel. I think you'd be a great father, and so does he. He wishes he'd done things differently, and this could be a chance for you both to get to know each other better. But I only want it if you do, Eric."

"Get off of me."

Daniel's name pushes me over the edge.

While I could admit he had made an effort with her, even with me, he had no clue about my life. What went on between Everly and I. What I felt for her. He was simply a spectator, projecting his desires onto me. "Everly, I don't want to talk about…"

"A baby?" She doesn't move. If anything, her fingers dig in deeper. "I'm not getting off of you until you tell me how you feel and what you want. You can't just say whatever I want, because what I want might not be what you want." She locks her stare on mine, and I realize she's frustrated.

Just as frustrated as I am.

Probably for different reasons, but it always came down to just her and I. And right now, I can tell it's not enough. I can tell everything that I've done, every confession she's managed to rip out of me, isn't enough.

The realization is painful, like one of my bones has snapped right in half.

"What do I want?" I stare at her darkly, my spine painfully straight now. "How many times do I have to tell you that I want you? I've done everything I can to show you. I announced to the entire compound that you are my wife. How could you not know what I want?"

My words are not fair.

Not at all.

Everly had been looking for someone to look out for her, and while I had, I knew it was possible she wouldn't stick around forever. Suddenly announcing I had plans for us, thoughts and ideas that she might not want, is worse than any dark secret she could have found out.

"I just need to know what you want for us. If you want us to have a family, then I'll throw the birth control away and we'll see what happens. If you want to wait, or you don't want a family, I'll get off of you and start the pills right now."

Her words catch me off guard completely.

I feel a wave of stupidity wash over me, rare and nauseating, as it hits me what she's saying.

She was offering everything I had wanted. She was sitting on my lap, her arms looped around my neck and her nightgown falling down off her shoulder. She was looking at me earnestly, eyes wide and honest, just as deep and endless as what I felt for her.

"I don't want to pressure you into anything you aren't ready for," I finally answer, and the words stick in my chest. Out of anyone I'd ever had in my life, she was the only person who had the ability to render me in such a state. To want for someone else, to want everything for her. Everything for us. She was the only hope I'd ever had, and every single decision felt like weight pushing down on that hope.

But it didn't have to.

"I've put a lot on you already. I haven't asked you about any of it. I didn't think it was fair of me to push you into anything else, especially not this." I speak without thinking, the words tumbling out of my mouth before I can calculate and arrange them.

"Eric…" Everly freezes, and her lips are parted open.

I shake my head, and in this moment, she is glowing -lit up by both the warm burn of the fire, and the icy glow of the snowfall. "You are the only one I would ever consider having a child with. I want only the best for you. It's why I put you in the leadership program. You have patience and a calm insight into things that most of Dauntless does not. Adding a child to that would not be easy. It's not impossible, but it wouldn't be the easiest route to go. I felt it would be selfish of me to ask any more of you than I already have."

Her eyes widen.

I've rarely spoken of what I thought of her.

I could barely tell her how I felt; how proud of her I was, how sometimes she looked at me, and I couldn't help but feel like my chest might cave in. How I wanted to give her every chance I could, because of who she was, and not because she was married to me.

How out of everyone in Dauntless, she was the only one who'd ever captured my interest beyond a few minutes.

How if she had told me no, I wouldn't press this issue.

"Maybe I could do it all." She speaks softly, so low that if she weren't on top of me, I would have missed it. My palms press against her back, the feel of her nightgown silky against my hands.

"If there is anyone in Dauntless who could juggle all that, it would be you," I look at her, and she deserves this honesty. "And if it were up to me, I would say yes, we should go ahead and have a family before something stupid happens or I lose you again."

There.

I said it.

My want for her and I, spoken out loud, in total and complete transparency. I no longer feel like pushing her away, almost the opposite. My fingers press her closer, just a fraction of an inch while she blinks at me.

I'd been telling her these things for some time now. Always silent, never out loud. Maybe I was hoping she'd decipher them on her own. Maybe I felt like because I'd let her get close, she understood everything that went on in my head.

But this was in her hands. It was her future here, and while it wouldn't be the end of my days if Everly didn't share what I wanted, I could be alright with it.

"Oh."

I press my lips together.

Her response is not what I expected, sort of gasped and mumbled.

"Everly, we don't have to..." I answer her immediately, because I can feel it rising up. Panic. Pure and hot and stomach churning panic. She didn't want this, and I had promised her I'd accept that. "It's…"

"No!" Everly blurts out, and she shakes her head furiously. "I want this, too, Eric. I mean, in a way I sorta thought you did, I just never really put it all together."

Her answer makes me feel like I'm drowning. Like I've been pushed beneath a wave, only to rise up triumphantly. She wanted this, the same desire for a life that was very much our own, and I'd been right. She'd been untangling every clue I'd left for her, deciphering every word I couldn't quite get out.

I let go of her back, moving to touch her cheek, and my lips turn up. "Everly, I know full well you haven't been on any sort of birth control. If I was worried about the outcome, I would have marched your ass back to Arlene and demanded you start something." My smirk feels permanent, and I raise an eyebrow at her. "I'm not stupid."

She smiles.

Brightly.

The stress is gone from her face, and it's replaced with utter relief. "I certainly don't think you're stupid, Eric."

I smile at her, this time less cocky and more just stupidly grinning, and I cock my eyebrow at her. This is something to celebrate. In this moment, I have everything I'd ever wanted, and the possibility of more. "We could get a start on things right now, you know."

She laughs. Her voice fills the room, sweet and light and completely happy. I move my hand from her cheek, down to the bottom of the nightgown she has on. I move it up slowly, the fabric too thin to keep her warm, and too see-through to leave on her. She bites down on the side of her lip, helping me slide it over her hair. I lean into her, her bare skin more appealing now than ever, and she looks up suddenly.

"Oh, I told your Dad we'd have dinner with him next week."

I immediately glare at her. "Can we not talk about my father right now?" I was seconds away from pinning her beneath me, and the last thing I wanted was the image of him ruining this.

"It's important," Everly answers, and I roll my eyes. It wasn't. It was Daniel. He'd inserted himself into our lives, and it was obvious I couldn't get rid of him unless I tried to pawn him off on someone with Daddy issues. Maybe Four.

"I'm aware," I mutter, and I trace my fingers around her shoulder. I trace my initials, our initials, then I slide my palm down her back. Down her spine, until I reach the small of her back.

"No more distractions, Everly."

Everly smiles. She leans in, the conversation coming to an end when my lips touch hers. There is no hesitance on my part, only slow, drawn out indulgence. I kiss her slowly while my fingers trail along her skin, working their way down her side, over her hips, up her ribs. She squirms against me, sighing as I kiss her gently. It's unusual for me, but appropriate. Warm, secret confessions whispered with every single nudge of my lips, until I can't handle it anymore.

I grow impatient quickly. I carefully knock her off my lap, and immediately push her beneath me. She's swallowed up by the sheets and comforter, sinking down into them with a sigh. I mumble her name against her skin, kissing her neck, marking her collarbone, then working my way up the other side. I kiss her until she's pink and groaning, wanting more than just my lips on her skin.

I kick off the boxers I'd thrown on, and my bare thighs touch hers. After a moment I slide inside her, and seconds later, I decide even if nothing happens, if we don't ever wind up having a child, that she is enough. She always has been, and always will be.

I think of this when I groan her name, coming inside of her then immediately collapsing onto her. She'd come before me, her legs wrapped around my waist, her hands on my biceps and her eyes locked on mine. Now, she tightens her grip, probably unable to breathe, but she doesn't move. One of her hands moves up to trail through my hair. The sensation pales in comparison to what I'd just felt, but it feels unbelievably good. She holds onto me, hugging me tightly with her eyes shut.

Eventually, she loosens her grip and her hand falls from my hair. I roll off of her, lying on my side so I can stare at her. My fingers touch her cheekbone, tracing upward before I slide my hand into her hair, unable to not touch her. She looks at me with a smile, her eyes sleepy and warm and just as drunk on me as I am on her.

I idly wonder if this is it.

If it's happened now, and things will be different from here on out.

"Everly." I say her name slowly, and the emptiness in my chest feels present. There is a sense of wholeness, of oneness, of everything I'd ever wanted coming to fruition. She looks up at me, still the prettiest out of anyone I'd ever looked at, and by far the loveliest.

For reasons far beyond how she looked. She smiles again, slow and happy and her fingers curl into my chest. The snow falls against the window in quiet thuds, the fire roars behind us, and Everly's eyes start to close.

"I love you."


	43. The Secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> It's me, ready to ruin your weekend with this update! 😒
> 
> A few have expressed their reluctance upon reaching this point, and I totally get it! If you'd like, you're more than welcome until the next few chapters are posted (just like the kidnapping section) but I will be in California for Spring Break next week. I will do my best to get the chapter up on Friday, but I'm not entirely sure how much free time I will have or when it will be updated. So your wait might be a few days longer than normal.
> 
> It's up to you, but I do think Eric's version of these events explain so much!
> 
> Thank you to Bamberlee for editing this, and sending it tonight! I lost the ENTIRE chapter a day before I was supposed to send it to her thanks to someone stepping on my laptop. Bamberlee, you're the real MVP here.
> 
> As always, thanks for reviewing 💕

My dreams are endless.

My brain shows me over and over again the life I could have with Everly. Maybe it's the life I do have, but this shows me the future, her and I, one blissful second after the other. It's unfair when it comes to an end. Out of nowhere, the dream slows down, and the image of Everly standing in front of me, whispering something in my ear about a child that I can't make out while her pretty and slippery nightgown slides down her shoulder, vanishes right before me. She fizzles away as my vision blurs and my eyes open.

To brightness.

I squint at the light, confused after the warm, glowing images fade from my mind. My arm reaches for her, knowing she'd fallen asleep with her head against my chest and her hands holding onto me, and to my surprise, I find nothing. Stiff, white sheets that smell horrifically like lavender.

But not her.

My eyes fly open and the anxiety comes right back. It's my only fear; I've lost her again, and unironically, this time- it's happened in Amity.

My nerves calm the fuck down a second later, when I see her standing at the window.

Even though our night together was something anyone would have dreamt of, there is a tension to her posture. I stare at her while I climb out of bed, shoving the covers back and wincing when my feet hit the cold floor. She's opened up the curtains to look out at Amity, and despite being rewarded with a vast view of winter wonderland, she seems uneasy.

Her shoulders are drawn up, buried beneath her long hair, and her head is tilted as she stares out into the distance. Last night it had snowed for hours. Long after we'd fallen asleep, long into the morning. I can see the snow piled up, covering the pathways and the buildings, completely untouched. Everly stares at it, her gaze occasionally turning to watch the sun rise. It illuminates her as it forces its way up, and she steps closer to the window.

The sight is lovely. While I hated to admit it, our time here had been mostly pleasant. These guest houses were tucked away from the main community. We were off to the side, and other than the lucky chosen few who brought us our meals, no one had come by. The faction had stayed inside to avoid the heavy snow, but they worked to ensure their members had food. The kitchens remained open to those who needed them, but we stayed here.

It had been warm.

Quiet.

Just Everly and I, together. We'd stayed mostly in bed, but the time was rich with her and I. It was what we needed; away from the pressures of Dauntless, the threat of Evelyn, and the constant scrutiny of the faction. There was no one here but us, and were she anyone else I would have gone stir crazy. But I could have spent another week here with her. There was something ideal about being trapped, forced away from our friends and inside this room that I found completely acceptable, and there was no doubt she shared my thoughts.

Until now.

Her shoulders rise up as a clump of snow falls off the roof, landing with a soft thud on the ground. The snow is packed up against the large windows, having refused to stop for the three days we'd been here. But the storm seems to have finished and now, things should slowly return to normal.

Until it starts snowing again.

The sun dips out, not quite ready to resume its place in the sky, and the snowflakes are light. Everly wraps her arms around herself as they increase, until the window is nothing but a white flurry unfolding before her. She sighs, her whole body tensing, and I wonder if she's had enough. If being stuck here is starting to feel like we'll never leave, like it'll snow until we're officially the newest members of Amity, never to return to Dauntless.

I snort at the idea.

I reach her as the snowfall speeds up, lush wet drops hitting the window mockingly. I wrap my arms around her waist, the silky nightgown doing little to ward off the chill coming from the window, and her skin is cold. Too cold. She's been standing here for some time, and even her fingers are freezing.

I pull her back against my chest, and her head falls to the side, leaning back.

We stand there in silence, watching the snow fall, until I lean down to graze her cheek.

"It's awfully early to be up looking at the snow."

My lips find soft skin just beneath her ear. She shivers, leaning back further, taking in what I've said.

"I couldn't sleep." She pauses, and I feel her inhale sharply. "Do you think we'll be able to leave soon?"

Her question is perfectly reasonable. While this has been nice, the ultimate guilty pleasure of doing nothing but spending time with her, it's not our home. I'd love to return home today; to find the snow stopping in the next few minutes, the trains running. To be back in my apartment. To the warm bed we share, the soft sheets, and her head on my pillow.

Unfortunately, it's not happening.

Not today.

Maybe not tomorrow.

"Doesn't matter," I answer indifferently, kissing the crook of her neck. "We can't go anywhere until it's clear enough that the trains can run. Unless you want to walk back." I pull her back tighter, rising up to look over her head. In front of us there is nothing but white snow as far as the eye can see. I can feel the oppressiveness of it from here, completely and utterly stuck until it stops.

"I'll pass, thanks. We can stay here," Everly answers, her tone wistful and quiet. I nod, dragging her back a step, fully intending to warm her up myself.

The idea of one more day here isn't awful. I've spent these past few days drunk on her, and I have no desire to sober up just yet.

I think she feels the same way, because she willingly climbs back into bed, reaching for me with a smile on her face.

 

 

Eventually, the storm stops.

The skies brighten considerably, just a hint of grey hanging around, but it's no longer snowing. My mood perks up considerably, because just like that, the faction returns to life.

All around, the members of Amity emerge from their homes. The air is full of frantic, pent up energy. We weren't the only ones who must have felt the start of cabin fever. I get dressed while I watch the strongest of Amity clear the pathways, followed by those sprinkling salt on the ground and cheerfully greeting each other. They work quickly, creating a maze for everyone to walk through, and there is a loud dinging to signal that breakfast will be served as a faction.

Everly doesn't look thrilled.

I thought she'd look more cheerful as we walked down the pathway, but she doesn't. She frowns as the sharp air hits our exposed skin. Someone had kindly washed our clothes, returning them in the middle of the night while we slept, and it felt fantastic to have my uniform back on. I'm perfectly warm, but next to me Everly shivers, sticking close to my side like I can scare the cold away.

We walk down the main path, still covered in snow, but mostly clear. We are bypassed by dozens of members all hurrying their way to the dome, and by shrieking children, desperate for fresh air and sunshine after days of being kept inside. A few grin as they slide past us, stopping to laugh and point at something, and a few older ones follow them.

Everly is quiet while we walk, and by the time we reach the Dome, she is downright silent.

I find myself smirking, because the satisfaction of watching her is unavoidable.

For someone who lived here, she does her best to pretend she didn't.

The Dome is cold after the endless snowfall and little power, and the weak heating system groans as it tries to kick on. It doesn't do much, nor does it help that it's crowded in here. It looks as though everyone in the faction has turned up, and most are dressed like it's Spring. Many look in our direction, but they're all welcoming, thrilled to be out and moving around after days of doing nothing. Everly smiles at those who greet her, but after a few minutes, it seems everyone knows her.

I hold back a bark of laughter when someone screams her name, and it echoes loudly. They don't seem to pick up on her reluctance to be acknowledged here, and she looks irritable as she's bumped into over and over. After days of just her and I, this social interaction is overwhelming. People are everywhere, spilling in from all sides, and taking up all the free space as they gawk at her uniform.

"EVERLY!" Someone else yelps her name, knocking into her and nearly causing her to crash into me. She smiles tightly as they apologize, but she watches with narrowed eyes as they scamper off to find a place to set down their tray of baked goods.

"No clue why you didn't want to stay here, Everly," I tease her, watching her struggle not to scowl.

"When will the trains be running again?" She asks, and her voice is tense. She scans the Dome looking for an empty table, but it's packed. For a moment, I believe we'll be eating with JimBob and his cousin, but fate is on my side and she finds a table without anyone sitting there. Everly heads that way, and she sinks down into the seat, looking like she'd rather be anywhere but here.

She smiles up at me, her expression relieved she found somewhere to sit, but the relief is only temporary.

A second later her eyes narrow, and I spy Eden heading our way.

"Oh, good. Your mother's here," I brightly announce as I pick at the food on my plate. We'd grabbed them on the walk in, already prepared, as they did their best to serve everyone. To my dismay it all looked suspicious, but I had to eat something. Everly looks at me out of the corner of her eye, and a second later, Eden sits down and grins at us.

Widely.

"Everly! Eric! How could you two not tell me you were here?" She smiles again, her eyes raking over us for some clue as to why we were here. I realize I am very lucky she didn't find us when we arrived. We might have wound up staying with her and I can't even begin to imagine the exciting time that would have been.

"Easily," I mutter, and Everly kicks me. Hard. She smiles tightly at me, not impressed with my commentary.

"We got kind of stuck," She answers gently, and I can see the guilt starting on her face. "The snowstorm made it so the trains couldn't run. We weren't planning on staying here, but we didn't have much choice. But it was nice to spend some time with just the two of us."

Eden's face falls, and even I feel a speck of something that I refuse to ever admit would be considered guilt. Everly's mother, despite being weird and out there and completely invasive, wasn't mean. She looks hurt, like we'd come here and purposely not told her. It's not enough to make me wish we'd stayed with her, because I'd rather remove my own eye with a fork than sleep at her house. But her expression is unfortunate, because it bothers Everly.

"We've both been really busy lately," Everly keeps going, slumping down a bit in her seat. She does her best to look only at Eden, and not at me. "We didn't plan it. We just…ended up here."

"That sounds lovely, dear," Eden easily accepts Everly's reasoning. She waves her hand to dismiss the worry, then reaches for her tea that will probably send her into a month-long peace serum induced coma. "It sounds like exactly what you two needed. I'm sure your lives in Dauntless are very action-packed."

I stab at my eggs. The breakfast in front of me was odd, and I was picking what I thought was safe. It was a risk, sure. There was the possibility I would start seeing unicorns and rainbows, but with my luck, I'd find the trains not running, and I'd need my energy to walk back to Dauntless.

"They are. This has been a nice break. But in an odd coincidence, Everly was just talking about apparating by some time to see you." I smile widely at Everly, raising both my eyebrows at her.

She glares at me.

My cheerful, happy go lucky wife, always kind and patient and sweet, throws me one very murderous look. I smirk at her while I take a bite of my eggs, amused that she doesn't think I'm hilarious.

Across from her, Eden also does not find me hilarious. She looks confused. She blinks at me, but eventually nods her head. "You two are more than welcome to come by anytime. Zander has been asking for you. So have Paisley and Holly. And Leif and Wesley. They miss seeing you around."

I choke on my eggs.

I mentally repeat the names in my mind. I hope these are wild squirrels Eden has taken up feeding, because that's an awful lot of children to have.

Zander.

Paisley.

Holly.

Leif.

Wesley.

The look on Everly's face tells me they are not.

"I'll have to come by. I miss them a lot." She answers, and I hope they are her cousins. Neighbors. Animals that Everly was responsible for while she was here. Anything but nearly half a dozen siblings. I look over at her, but she's doing her best not to look at me.

"I have some things for you," Eden goes on, still drinking her tea. "I wasn't sure how to get them to Dauntless, so it works out well that you are here. And something for your dad as well, Eric."

Good.

I nod my head, hoping it's something for him to eat. Daniel wanted so badly for Everly to like him, that he wouldn't be able to tell her no if she offered this to him. He'd rather eat it and risk dying than let her think he wasn't dedicated to getting to know her. I shrug as she keeps talking, not really caring past this point.

"Great," Everly answers slowly, and she takes a bite of her own eggs. "We'll come by sometime after lunch?"

"Sure. How long are you staying?" Eden asks, pulling a hideous blanket around her shoulders. She must have grabbed it off her couch before coming here, but I doubt it's keeping her warm. The Dome is slightly less freezing than before, but not at all what anyone would consider warm. Next to me, Everly does the same. She pulls her jacket tighter, and I realize she's stalling for time.

"We'll head back as soon as the trains are running," I announce, and I glance around quickly. It's almost completely full, and people are waiting for seats. I also catch sight of a blur of color, heading straight for us. "Though this has been a very productive trip."

I say the last part smugly, but that feeling dies when I realize Eden is looking at me with a familiar expression. There's a moment of horror when I realize she reminds me of Arlene, knowing full well that the only productive thing I'd done since being here was trying to produce my future child.

"Good." Eden smiles, and she and Everly both turn at the same time. They both look up as Johanna stops at our table, and her gaze is fixed right on me.

 

 

 

"You really think I'm hiding out wanted criminals here? Or helping Evelyn and her army?"

Johanna looks at me with one oddly sharp stare, and I suppose the peace serum only went so far, even for her. She only gives me a second to answer, then clasps her hands in front of her. "I can't even begin to tell you how surprised I am to find myself the subject of such rumors. This news is disheartening."

"Aren't you?" I eye her carefully, stepping aside so someone can walk past us. "I can only assume your computer turned on and you finally caught up on your emails. Not long ago, Dauntless soldiers watched Evelyn disappear into your faction. Not a single person batted an eye. She walked right through here, untouched."

Johanna's lips press together, and she shakes her head.

"I did. I read the email several times. Eric…I had no idea. I haven't…I wouldn't help Evelyn. I know what she's wanted for. I'm aware of the security warning. Had I known she was here…" She trails off, and I shake my head.

This talk is strange, and never in my life did I think I'd be walking through Amity, discussing our security concerns with her. She preferred to avoid me altogether, but this couldn't be ignored. Neither could she. She'd stopped at the table I was sitting at, firmly asking if I could speak with her. I figured it beat sitting there and eating breakfast with Eden, so I'd gone along with her. I told Everly I'd see her later, and I followed Johanna outside. Back into the snow, along the path that went right through Amity.

"There have long been rumors that you've helped the factionless." I bluntly point out. "For years we've heard that defective members can return to Amity, including the factionless. Our concern doesn't lie in you occasionally inviting the hungry to dinner or putting someone to work in exchange for shelter. It lies with where your alliance is."

"It's not with Evelyn," Johanna answers quickly, and I shrug. "I wouldn't help her. Not in any way, and not like that."

"I can only look at the facts. Look at what happened with my wife. Everly was brought back here, by a member of the factionless, and you didn't find that suspicious? That me, out of everyone, you believe I would have her sent here?" I cock my eyebrow at her, noticing her lips are pressed together tightly. "The memory loss. The confusion. Surely you noticed something was off."

Johanna looks up at me, and something flashes across her face. It's pure horror, and she looks away immediately.

"The factionless who brought her back…" Johanna repeats my words with a frown. "Everly…she had never really been happy in Amity. Her returning was odd, but I figured maybe you had…perhaps the decision wasn't yours. I suppose I wanted to believe you'd allow her to return, so I did."

"I see. And the rest?" I press on, and we reach the lake. It's covered in ice, and the banks are lined with snow. "Didn't anyone notice she couldn't remember anything?"

Johanna falls silent. We walk along, her pulling at her jacket, and me, stomping over everything in my path. Eventually she turns her head at me, and her next words make my stomach clench up.

"Eric, did Everly tell you how she returned here? I understand all your concerns, of course. But did she ever mention coming back here?"

"No," I answer sharply, and I look right at her. "Is there something I should know?"

She stares at me.

My mind whirls, quickly trying to make a connection with the scraps of information she was offering up.

"Johanna…" I say her name warningly, "is there something I should know?"

"Eric, just…I think perhaps I've put too much faith in my own members. Maybe I need to look at some things." Her voice is far away as she avoids my question by staring out at the lake, and my next words are painful. They are sharp, scraping my throat as I speak.

"Who brought Everly back to Amity?"

 

 

 

I'm met with a blank stare.

Large eyes blinking back at me, filled with worry and concern, but mostly apprehension.

"Eden, where is Everly?"

I grit my teeth together as she doesn't answer, and I count to five as she steps aside to let me into her house.

I'd left Johanna by the lake. Her answer had made my stomach turn over sharply, and it occurred to me that for some reason, Everly had failed to mention this to me. I know her return to Amity was some ironic punishment for me. It was smart of Evelyn –returning Everly to a place she hated, the opposite of the Dauntless faction, without her memories. Evelyn knew they'd let her back in, welcoming her with open arms, and they'd encourage her to re-assimilate. She knew it would fuck with me, believing she was dead, and not knowing she was simply a faction away.

Returning her to Amity was one thing, but having her ex-boyfriend bring her back was another.

It was more than personal. It was conniving. Malicious. Calculating.

It was also unnerving, considering not a single person had brought it up.

Not Johanna. Not Everly's friends. Not Everly.

I could easily blame myself. When I had found Everly in Amity, the relief was overwhelming. I'd allowed myself to be too caught up in the fact that the only person I'd ever loved was alive. I'd brought an army with me, and as it turned out, I'd needed it. Harrison had overturned the faction looking for her, and when it came down to it, their very own leader refused to let her leave.

I'd had none of it.

Had it come to the point where I needed to, I would have arrested Johanna and taken her right along with us. I was sickly overjoyed to find my wife alive, even if she didn't remember me. I was too focused on that to notice Johanna had failed to mention how she got there. All that was brought up was a letter I didn't write, and that was it. I'd chalked it up to Johanna being shady and moved on.

I'd returned to Dauntless with Everly, determined to help her regain her memories.

Now, I feel foolish.

Like I've been tricked, the wool pulled right over my eyes, and that wasn't something I was good with. No one fucked me over or hid shit from me, especially not my wife.

This felt like betrayal.

Like something had happened, and Everly knew it. Like she'd covered it, completely moving on from her time here for reasons I didn't know. But I did now, and that stung. I had stood next to Johanna feeling like an absolute moron. Hearing her utter the name Landon, knowing that I wasn't aware he'd brought her here. I had made a loose connection that it was someone from the faction, but it was a slap in the face that it was him.

"Eric, would you like something to drink? Everly went to see Courtney. She said she'll be back soon." Eden gestures for me to follow her inside, and my gaze sweeps over her house critically. It's much larger than I would have thought, and very lived in. It reminds me of a house from a movie Everly and I had watched, but I can't quite place it. Everything is dark wood, mismatched furniture, and things are everywhere. It's organized chaos, items shoved into places to make it appear like it's clean, but visibly not where they belong.

"No." I snap, and my tone is sharp. "Thank you. I just need to find Everly."

The house is oddly quiet, and I find my gaze sweeping to the stairs, like Everly will come walking down them, fully ready to explain what happened.

But she doesn't.

"I'll be right back. One second. I had just made tea before you got here. I just sent everyone outside to play." Eden disappears into the kitchen, and I take in the odd number of plants. They are everywhere, stuck in random places, vines and leaves and greenery creeping and draped over everything. I count them while I listen to her in the kitchen, but my attention changes to the bookshelf.

I walk toward it, my boots heavy over the worn wooden floors. The bookshelf is large, built into the wall, and spans the floor to ceiling. Next to it are all kinds of toys mixed in with the work boots everyone in Amity was fond of, all worn, all varying sizes. I kick one out of the way as I walk up, inspecting the books with great interest.

Much like everything in Amity, it wasn't quite what it seemed. Sure, there were books. Maybe a good hundred, crammed into the spaces, large and small. They were heavy; some fancy, some plain, and all kinds of novels. But they were mixed in with other things; dozens were labeled by hand, detailed guides of plants and herbs, jewelry, rocks, artwork made by the million children who lived here. Pictures. More plants. A garden gnome. A thick, weathered black journal with something carved into the cover.

"Do you like to read?" Eden asks, just as my fingers grasp one of the books that's been pushed in too far. I reach for it, not having been given permission to touch her things but not caring, and I pull it out slowly.

"Yes." I answer her without thinking, and I stare at the book. "Do you?"

She smiles.

In her hands are two tea cups, and I shake my head as politely as I can to convey fuck no. "I do. I don't have as much time now as I once did, but I enjoyed the escape it offered." She pauses and watches me carefully. "Are you sure you don't want something to drink? There's nothing in it. I promise."

"I'm…I'm good. Thank you." I look at her, and considering she's trying to get me to drink something that probably is laced with whatever she was concocting, she's very nonthreatening. She tilts her head at me the same way Everly does, infinite patience as I stand there, touching her things. "Where did you get these?"

"That one in your hand? Or all of them?" She asks.

"All of them." I answer her without thinking, wondering where she got all the books. Most members of Amity weren't spending their days reading, and certainly not to this extent. "Books are…"

"A rarity here, I know." Eden steps closer, and I want to step back, but I can't without looking like I'm afraid of this small woman. "Some were given to me by friends. The rest I must have purchased at the market. Is there somewhere else to buy them?"

"No," I shake my head. "That's it. I'm just surprised. Most people don't have any, let alone this many."

"I often wonder if anyone will write anything else. Or if I've read everything there is out there." Eden stares at me, and I'm suddenly struck by the thought that I have something in common with her. It makes my stomach clench up, and I shake my head no. Violently.

"No, they won't. Not like this. Only reference books are printed. Anything else would be published on a tablet." I answer quickly, thinking how the only things I'd ever seen published were from specialty fields. Medical jargon. Even Jack struggled to get his judicial rules printed out on anything other than loose, fancy paper.

"A tablet." Eden makes a face, and she shakes her own head. "Who would want to read books on a tablet? Don't you prefer to hold the book? To feel the weight of it? The memories of each page? Or places you've written in them. Reading on a tablet would be a terrible idea."

"I agree." My fingers tighten on the book, though I've never once written anything on the pages of something I'd read. Maybe I'd written 'fuck you' on a paper I'd shoved in the pages of something Rylan had borrowed, but nothing else. "But…there's no market for them. People don't have the time anymore."

"What a shame." Eden looks disappointed, and she steps even closer to me. Like her daughter, she had no issues getting up in my personal space. "Eric, can I ask you something?"

"About the books?" I stare down at her, and she stares up at me.

"Is Everly okay? Is she in some sort of trouble?"

"I…no, she's not in trouble. I just need to talk to her. There are some…security concerns." My mouth feels dry, because Eden's gaze is awfully intense for someone who seemed permanently stoned. "About when she came back…here."

I'm nowhere near as snappy as I should be, considering she's right in front of me. I avert my stare from her, and my eyes fall on something on the shelf. A weathered, old, photograph, shoved in between two books. It's come loose, or maybe someone's pulled it out, but it doesn't belong there. It strikes me as odd, because we don't even have the old, printable film used like that anymore. I reach for it, also without permission, and I'm rewarded with two people in a field of flowers.

One looks like Everly. Long, dark hair, braided around her head, and a sundress that doesn't quite fit. Beside her, a man in a dark shirt, with his pants rolled up to two different lengths. They are young, but happy, surrounded by the gold flowers and the bright sky as they smile at whoever took this photo.

"Is that Everly?" I ask without thinking, and there is a dull flash of pain across my head. "Is that…Landon?"

"No, that's not her." Eden takes the photo from me, and she squints at it. "It looks like her, doesn't it? But it's not. It was taken ages ago. I pulled it out while cleaning."

I stare at her, because nothing in here is what I would consider clean. But I can't argue, because she doesn't give me the photo back, only looks at me intently. "Where is she? I should find her." I step away, and she nods.

"Courtney's mother lives a few houses down. Go outside, head to the left. If you find the cows, you've gone too far." She looks at me, and her lips turn up. "Do you want to keep that one? You could bring it back whenever. You and Everly could bring it back together. Maybe stay for the day."

I look down at the book in my hands. My head hurts now, but unless I want to chew on some weeds, there's nothing I can do for it.

"No thank you. I'll…uh…I'll go find her."

I shove the worn copy of _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_ at her, and I leave without saying another word.

 

Courtney's mother is far younger than I would expect.

She looks just like her daughter, her hair braided into two braids and her dress the same hideous style that everyone here favored. She looks at me curiously, her gaze sliding over my hair, over the collar of my uniform, down to the wedding band on my finger. She steps back, her feet bare and her nails painted a shiny gold color, and I do my best to sneer at her.

She could pass as one of Everly's friends.

"Are they in trouble?"

She looks at me, her faced wrought with concern. I get the impression that Courtney is well behaved, and probably her only child. The look on her face tells me she is a model citizen of the Amity faction, never misbehaving and very kind.

"She may have some insight to a kidnapping. She may know the person who is suspected of aiding in it."

Her eyes widen, and she steps back.

"A…a kidnapping." She presses her lips into a flat line, and her eyes flick upward. "They're upstairs. I'll grab them. Do you…do you mind waiting here?"

"No." I answer quickly, and I lean back against her kitchen counter. She'd walked me inside her house, and much like Eden's it was large and spacious. But her house was white, far more clean, and something told me she had a lot of free time. She, too, has dozens of plants, and I count them while she heads up the stairs, holding her skirt so she doesn't step on it.

I close my eyes.

If Everly's friends could confirm that Landon had brought her back, I'd have all the evidence I needed to prosecute him. I would arrest him, bring him back to Dauntless, and present the evidence to Max and whoever else felt the need to listen. There was little doubt he'd be found guilty, and even less doubt he'd be sentenced harshly.

Aiding a wanted criminal was one thing but messing with my wife was another.

None of this sat well with me.

I could feel it in my stomach, burning away the longer I stood there. There was a high chance he'd try to bolt once he knew I knew, and there was a high chance he wasn't even here. But he was the closest link we had to Evelyn, and all I needed was the confirmation. Johanna had been insistent that I ask Courtney and Sophia. Her own curiosity must have won out and having me ask was easier than her doing it. They'd answer to me one way or another, but I was hoping they'd just confess whatever they knew.

It seems like ages go by before I hear footsteps descending the stairs, and I open my eyes to the sight of Everly walking down them. She looks just like her friends, except for the dark uniform. Her hair is long and down, and her eyes are worried.

She knows.

I realize this as she comes to a stop beside me, and her friends stay a good distance away from me. They hover by Courtney's mother, staring at me with a nervous grimace. I smile tightly at them, but it falters when Courtney meets my stare.

Something tells me she knows why I'm here.

The tension hangs in the air, worsening when I stand up straight, cocking my head at them. No one moves, and they seem stuck in place. Everly looks up at me, and I find myself glancing at her quickly. It's like a punch to the stomach, her green eyes blinking and her expression riddled with apprehension.

"I need you and your friends to come with me." I announce to all. They still don't move, and Courtney's mother looks like she might cry.

"What happened?" Everly asks.

What happened was a good question. I want to snap at her, what did happen, but I refrain. "We need to have a quick talk with Johanna. I think your friends can help provide some insight into something that was brought to my attention. Certain matters that could be a threat to the faction's security."

Sophia looks surprised. She looks at Courtney, and Courtney looks at her.

"What is this about?" Courtney's mother asks me, pretending she doesn't know. She's trying to diffuse the situation, making it seem less intense than it was for her daughter's sake.

I could roll my eyes.

"Your daughter may have witnessed something pertaining to a kidnapping. This won't take long."

At my words, the recognition flashes across their faces. Courtney isn't brave, but she knows better, and she pretends she is. She steps away from her mother and reaches for Sophia. The two of them exchange a heavy look, then slowly step forward.

"We'll go," Courtney announces, and her stare finds Everly. She throws her a very sympathetic look, and I realize Johanna was right.

They all know why I'm here, and they know what I'm going to ask.

"Eric?" Everly says my name, but it's dulled by the blood pumping in my ears.

I nod a wordless thanks to Courtney's mother, and I leave without answering anyone. I know they will follow, because they don't have a choice.

I'm right.

A moment after my boots hit the dirt path, they are behind me, silent and afraid.

 

 

They struggle to keep up with me.

They walk silently, occasionally stumbling over the slippery parts of the path, and shivering in the cold air. Everly walks beside me, and even she can barely keep up. She throws me a few confused looks, and while I want to bark something in her direction, I can't look at her.

I don't know what I'll say.

What I want to say is why. Why didn't she tell me? Why didn't she feel like she could tell me? I had promised I'd keep her safe, and she knew what I'd gone through after she was gone. I'd nearly lost my mind thinking I'd failed, all while she was alive and well, parading around here with Landon. Knowing that she kept this from me, information about a man who could potentially hurt her again, made me livid. I was having a hard time believing it, and the thought ate at me. It burned, so brightly and so hotly in my chest, that I was having a hard time not lashing out. It was easier to chew on the side of my cheek, furiously thinking about what I was about to hear, than to try to speak normally.

There was a reason she kept it from me, and it felt shitty. Really shitty. Like something someone else would have done, perhaps out of fear of getting caught or pissing me off. Like she'd gone behind my back, had her fun, then returned home when I found out where she was.

It's all I can focus on when we arrive at the stables. Johanna is waiting for us, her smile warm and patient but with the slightest hint of unease. She plays it off well, gesturing for the girls to follow her inside, but her eyes meet mine.

She looks trapped.

I ignore her.

We're led to the ancient wooden staircase, and Everly walks next to me. She stumbles up a step, her boot catching the edge, and I grab her arm in time to keep her from falling. I hold onto her the remainder of the stairs, but I let go of her the second we reach the landing. The air is warm up here, still and tense, and fitting for the questions I'm about to ask.

I stand across from Everly's friends, eyeing them up and down, giving them a second to prepare. They stick close to each other, a united front ready to face the onslaught of questioning. Beneath their stoic expressions is fear, like they've been brought before a firing squad. I remind myself that they are young. That they wouldn't have known what to do with the information I'm assuming they have, and Johanna would have been useless had they told her.

That doesn't make any of it better when Sophia slowly raises her eyes to mine, and carefully answers that Landon did, in fact, bring Everly here. Her face is wan as she stares, and she looks like she could bolt.

"He came back with you, and he told us you'd been given another chance to stay here. I think he thought you'd want to stay with him, but you made it pretty clear you didn't." Sophia glances at Everly, and Everly smiles encouragingly at her. She looks equally pale, both at hearing her friends talk about Landon's erratic behavior, and the news that he'd brought her back. She looks at me once, but I look back at Sophia and Courtney, trying to swallow down the rage I was feeling.

"Has he left Amity since Everly's been gone?" I ask, watching them carefully.

They eye me warily, my posture not at all warm or welcoming, and in fact, it's rather irritated.

Out of everyone in the faction, these two knew where Everly was. They knew who had brought her back. They had enough common sense to notice that Landon was acting weird, but not enough brains to bring it up to anyone.

After moments of silence, Courtney nods her head. "Not as much as he used to, but he's still coming and going. No one really pays attention to him if they can help it. Since Everly left, he hasn't been a joy to be around."

Across from me, Johanna is quiet. Their words are a verbal confirmation of her neglect, but worse, they are proof that her members weren't as loyal as she believed even. Her face falls when they talk, and she looks disappointed in everything going on.

"When was the last time you saw him leave here?" I bark at Courtney, and she shakes her head.

"I don't remember. It's been a while," She hesitates, her eyes flicking to Everly as she tries to remember. "Maybe a month ago?"

Shit.

A month ago.

That was much longer than I'd prefer. That meant he could be anywhere. Maybe he wasn't even here. He might have left and completely joined the factionless for all I knew. I think quickly, debating calling Jason to have him pull the cameras and see if he could pinpoint when Landon left. But that would mean sitting through hours of footage that none of us had time for.

I stare at them both, and I ask something that's bothered me since Johanna silently told me Everly didn't show up here by herself. "You both saw him come back with Everly. And no one questioned his actions?"

"We tried," Sophia answers lowly. "It was weird, but he made it sound like it was the way it was supposed to be. Everly was home and she needed a place to stay. Landon told us it was for the best that she was back."

My gaze snaps to Johanna, sharp and icy, and she nods slowly. It is all the confirmation I need to find Landon and take him to Dauntless. This won't end well for him, but I have no intention of it going any other way.

He had brought my wife back here and attempted to convince everyone that it was fine.

I hold Joahnna's stare and she eventually nods slightly.

"You'll come with us," I announce, and everyone turns to look at me. "We're going to find Landon, because I have quite a few questions for him."

Next to me, Everly tenses up. Her friends exchange heavy glances, but there's nothing they can do.

I have every intention of making sure Landon pays for what he did.

 

 

Her hand finds mine.

Her fingers slide between my own, seeking out the reassurance that I can't offer her right now. I can feel the unease vibrating with every step she takes, seeping through her skin as this story unwinds itself. Right now, my part has shifted; I'm no longer the villain, but I could be. Depending on whose version you were listening to.

Or maybe I'd always be.

"What are we going to do with him?" Everly asks while we walk, once again back out in the cold. We'd left Courtney and Sophia behind, having no real need for them to come along. Both had said a tearful goodbye to their friend, gasping her name apologetically as they realized they'd been both helpful and not helpful. They'd revealed Landon could be instrumental in finding Evelyn, but in turn, they'd also revealed a dark secret that Everly still seemed to be ignoring.

"We're taking him back to Dauntless. He'll be prosecuted as an accomplice to Evelyn's plans." I glance down at her, and my answer is short. Her skin is as pale as the snow around her, and her hair looks blacker than ever. "He's wanted for being an accessory to your kidnapping. Forgery. Conspiracy. Factional treason. Multiple other charges that will be brought forth once he's put on trial." I pause, and her green eyes are wide as she listens to the offenses I've brought up. I have every intention of dragging Harrison in, knowing full well he'll be able to slap a few more on there. "Do you remember seeing him when you were with the factionless?"

"Yes, he was there. He said he would help me," She lets out a low laugh, the idea apparently comical to her. "I don't really remember much of what happened the day Evelyn injected me, I just know I woke up here the next morning. And even though it felt weird, everyone acted like I'd never left."

She shrugs her shoulders as if all this was nothing more than a bad day. As if she'd moved past it all, forgetting her time amongst them, as if it didn't matter.

But it does.

More than she knows.

"You didn't find that suspicious? That you couldn't remember anything and no one else seemed to think anything was wrong?" I look to the side of her, at the few brave souls standing out in the fields pointing toward the sky. "We never talked about this after you returned. I was too focused on the fact that you were back where you belonged to ask you how you got here."

She shakes her head. Her expression is now tense, and slightly uneasy. "I was confused and miserable here. All I could think of was getting out of Amity. It never even occurred to me to think about how I got back in."

My hand tightens on hers, more to keep her by my side than anything. I wish I could offer up some consolation or reasoning as to why I was so livid.

But I can't.

I march us forward, walking behind Johanna, until she stops out of nowhere. She pauses, her shoulders pulling up, and then she points to a figure in the distance.

I shove past her without thinking.

I take off, leaving Everly behind me, until the figure is right in front of me.

He doesn't run, nor does he move.

 

 

 

His stare is not intrusive; he is entertained by our arrival, especially mine, but every so often, his mask slips. The unease of our appearance is there, as well as anger. Regret. Hatred, directed mostly at me. Remorse, when his eyes flick to Everly.

Despite his casual posture, he oozes frustration. His hands might be shoved in his pockets, but his eyes dart back and forth, calculating his escape, seeing if there's a chance he could run.

There is not.

Even though we only have Johanna with us, I could easily take him down without trying. I sense he knows this, and it only adds to his irritation that we are in front of him.

He mostly stares at Everly.

I watch him eye her carefully, familiar with her –maybe more than me. He has the unfair advantage of knowing her for years. I can only imagine what it was like the first time he saw her, or the rush of euphoria when he reached for her hand and her fingers touched his. When he kissed her, the first person to fall for her, bravely succumbing to his feelings without wondering how it would all play out.

He knew her in ways I didn't, and I never would. I can only assume things about her life here, pieced together by facts and assumed characteristics from the Amity faction, but Landon had lived it.

He had her.

He's known her far longer than I, having been the first one to ever win her over, and he knows it. That's where the hurt comes from. It's what makes him livid that I'd taken her away from him, not once –but twice.

He stands his ground, absurdly unafraid. There is a flash of defiance across his face, and it wins out when I tell him his game is over. But it's not real. It's prompted by his resentment, by the fear of losing her over and over, and the heavy realization that he'd lost everything. Landon's life had turned out nothing like what he'd expected, and for the second time, he'd watched Everly walk away from him.

I could sympathize.

I had experienced loving her, really loving her, when she was ripped away from me. I could easily conjure up the very low, weary feelings of utter sorrow he must have felt when she was gone. The loneliness, seeping out of his bones when he started each day without her. The ghost of her, lingering around just out of reach, enough to drive someone mad.

I understood all of this.

But had he loved her, really loved her, he would have let her go.

He would have taken her, vulnerable and lost, and returned her to where she belonged. Where she wanted to go. He should have chosen what was right over what felt right, realizing she wasn't his to keep.

But he'd acted out of fear.

Perhaps, it was Evelyn.

Maybe she'd hissed words at him, cleverly pointing out what she'd do to him if he didn't hide Everly. Or perhaps she'd furthered his fear of losing her, giving him the encouragement to try to right the things he believed were wrong. She was slick enough to dive right into the emotional manipulation. Much like her own son, she knew all Landon wanted was the one person he loved to love him in return. Maybe she'd presented this like an opportunity, a gift from her, a second chance at life.

That was the worst part of her; the false hope she spread for those who were desperate for it.

Now, as he stands in front of me, staring me down with ultimate disgust, I realize he knows all this.

It's why he's standing there, when I tell him to come with us, not running, not attempting to get away, barely blinking.

Because he has nothing left.

 

 

He watches her.

Like most everyone in Dauntless, Landon watches Everly with a strange, longing interest. It's not that she holds any magic spell over him, or that she would be able to save him from this.

It's that she's slipped through his fingers, subtly shifting his world upside down until it's unrecognizable.

I squint at him, knowing if I bring him before Jack, there will be a trial. A quick, truth serum induced trial in which this will come up. It will spill out of him like it did me, this great desperation beneath the bare facts. While it won't make him likeable to the jury, it will make him human. He will give them what they want to hear: a neatly fractured fairy tale that drove him to madness.

"Are we going to Dauntless?"

Landon looks at me, finally pulling his stare from Everly. His dark eyes meet mine, unimpressed with being forced onto a train, and even more unimpressed that I hadn't left him alone. We'd closed in on his personal space, both Everly and I. She stuck near me, her posture tense and her shoulders rising with every second. She hummed with nervousness and the urge to run, and I felt it too.

Landon's involvement wasn't ideal. While it might lead to me finding Evelyn, it had also led to me doubting the only person I'd ever loved. Things suddenly weren't so crystal clear, even if nothing had happened. She had kept this from me, this nasty, barbed secret that hurt. There was no way around it. I wouldn't pretend otherwise, and she knew it. She had to feel it.

"We are."

I answer him evenly, my tone bored.

He shifts his weight, and his lips turn up in delight.

He'd had the same look on his face when I told him he was guilty for what he'd done. He wasn't surprised, and he didn't deny a single thing. He simply listened, his smirk never wavering –not even when Johanna said his name softly. Her disappointment was almost motherly; her frown was of the utmost sadness, and her arms had tightened around herself that this had come from her faction.

He didn't care.

His arrogance crept up the longer he stood there, just like now.

He is proud that he's unafraid, arrogant that I came specifically for him. I assume he's long stopped taking the peace serum because there is a vibrating rage that propels itself from him, and I know it's nearly impossible to ignore. I've felt the same rage, the vines of anger and fury and utter wrath creeping beneath one's skin, up the veins, implanting themselves into the very cells of my makeup. I know the feeling is inescapable, and once you felt it- raw, honest, and hot, it was hard to shake.

"Eric," Everly says my name, and she steps closer to me, as Landon looks right at her. His gaze is piercing, slicing through her as he looks her up and down. She is nothing like he remembers. I can tell. He'd much prefer the Everly he could keep quiet, perhaps the one who would have stayed with him.

"I don't see why I'm under investigation," Landon declares, and he leans back on his heels. "I did nothing but look out for you, Everly."

He looks right at her when he speaks, and his words are mocking. Heavy. Like she owes him, her life having been in the palm of his hands.

She reacts to this immediately. All her life she'd been told she couldn't do things, that she'd never make it. That she needed someone to help her. I can tell this hits a nerve, because she shakes her head and her eyes flash angrily. "You didn't exactly look out for me when you dragged me to Amity instead of returning me to my home. You knew damned well where you should have taken me."

Landon looks at her with little regard. "I wouldn't expect someone like you to understand. You're different now. Less Everly, and more Eric's puppet, whatever kind of wife he wanted you to be. Seems like it worked out for you, anyway."

I was right.

Everly falls silent. She swallows, and her arm grazes mine. He notices; his gaze is accusatory, slow and intense.

"Does it bother you, Eric?" Landon continues, and his eyes find mine. "Does it bother you that I knew where she was, that Everly was safe right beside me, while you sat in Dauntless sulking over her death?"

I stare him down, willing myself to stay put. His words cut the exact way he's aiming for. My spine steels itself, and I angle myself right at him, prepared to shut him up if he keeps going.

"Were you lonely? Spending your nights by yourself, all alone in the bed you used to share with Everly? Thinking of all those nights you spent with her that suddenly meant nothing." He looks right at me, superiority sliding through him and I swear he's laughing. I can't help but tense up, because much like I know his anger, he knows what I feel for her. He knows he can get to me by using her against me. Using what I feel for her against me.

He pauses to make sure I'm looking at him, and his next words are meant to undo me.

"It was nice having your wife back in my bed."

I immediately look at Everly. I can't help it, nor was it what I want. He might be about to head to his death, his fate predetermined by his actions, but he's determined to leave his mark. He wants me to feel this, to drive this between us, leaving me to wonder what happened while I thought she was dead. The implication that he had her, even just for a few scarce minutes, is thrown in my face.

Everly's face is pale.

When she looks up at me, her eyes search mine, frantic and desperate and pleading. But I have nothing to go on. I have nothing but what Landon is telling me, because Everly had said nothing about him.

Across from us, Landon crosses his arms, sneering with a look of complete satisfaction at my silent exchange. It falters slightly when Everly reaches for my arm, trying to pull me back toward her. Her expression is panicked, and for one sickening moment, I wonder if he's telling the truth. If there's even the smallest speck of honesty in his words. Perhaps in the loss of her memory she found some comfort in him, not knowing who he was. I hate that I even consider that, that the thought is present in my mind, but it is.

"Eric, ignore him." Everly pulls on my arm harder, her small hands digging into my bicep as the train picks up speed. I look at her, unable to do anything but stare at her, feeling foolish as ever. "His words mean nothing."

"You really should listen to your little wife, Eric."

Landon's taunt echoes in the train car. There is a screech of wind, and a wail as the train protests the curve. They've been running here for ages, rusting and rotting, but never giving up.

Everly's nails dig into my sleeve, and she whips around to face him.

"Fuck off, Landon," Her voice is rough and angry, and she shakes her head furiously. "You had no right to do what you did. And you're a terrible person for ever going through with anything Evelyn had her hands in."

He shrugs.

"You're no better than her," Everly lets go of me, and she steps forward. I resist shoving her back, because it's obvious she has something to say to him, and I will not ask her to be quiet. "Did you ever stop to think that maybe I didn't want to go back to Amity? That what she asked you to do was wrong?" She stops in front of him, her head barely in the middle of his chest, and his eyes lower to blink at her. "I'm sorry I ever trusted you."

His expression changes instantly. Were I to ever be questioned, I'd be able to pinpoint the exact moment he snapped. Because it's then, when she shatters the last thread of hope he might have had, that he loses it. He steps toward her, then shoves her back as hard as he can.

The action is violent; it's riddled with everything he's ever felt toward her, and it explodes from him without thinking. He stares at her for a moment, stumbling to regain her balance, her dark hair flying up and he opens his mouth. I'm sure the words that will follow are nothing but hateful rage, full of spite and aggression and unending ache, but I don't want to hear them.

I react without thinking.

One second I'm staring at him, his eyes no longer kind, and his hair a mess, and the next second he's pinned up against the wall. My fingers close around his throat, feeling the hot skin and the scratch of his beard, and I tighten them as he looks up at me.

"I told you. Come at my wife again, and I'd make sure it was your last day," I remind him. My words are nasty and malicious, the very man he thinks I am. I hold Landon there until I can feel him struggling, until I know he can't breathe, until his eyes turn glassy. He weakly fumbles to knock my hands away, but I outweigh him, and without oxygen, his actions are useless.

"Eric," Everly gasps my name as she lunges for me, and her hand pulls at my arm. I'm not sure if she wants him to live, or if this is spiraling out of control, but she tries to yank me back. The train turns again, this time sharply, veering to the left, and she's knocked off balance again. She holds on tighter, both keeping herself upright, and still trying to pull me away.

"Everly, let go of me." I don't look at her; in this second, my attention is focused on Landon, and only him. His face is turning red, the deep purples bleeding at the edges of his skin, and his eyes bulging. I can feel his pulse slowing down, the pace decreasing as the life drains out of him.

He looks at me, and still, the contempt is there. The violence he's tried to keep hidden. The anger he pretended he never felt.

"Eric, stop. He's not worth it. We'll take him back to Dauntless and you can deal with him there," Everly pleads, and her words stab at the back of my neck. Sharp. Stinging. Etched in, along with the idea that she'd been in bed with him.

The train turns again, rounding past where the factionless compound lay, turning so harshly Everly is knocked forward a step. She clings onto me to keep upright, and the train picks up speed. The wind is loud now, rushing past the open door and filling the car like wild screams. Landon's eyes lose their focus, and they start to slip shut. I loosen my grip ever so slightly, wanting to make sure I got the final word in. I want to remind him that in the end, he wouldn't have won. He never had a chance. I would have gone to the ends of the Earth to find her, and he will pay for his part in her disappearance.

The brief burst of oxygen to his lungs only prompts a sneer out of him, then one dark, hazy glare in my direction.

Something passes between us. Not understanding, not anything civil. It's a primitive fight, both of us determined to have her.

Everly.

And he won't go down without a fight.

"Fuck you," he rasps out.

My arm moves on its own. It knocks Everly away, dimly aware she's right there, watching as I wrap it around Landon's head. My fingers find his jaw. The others find his throat. There is a brief struggle from him as he realizes what's happening, but ultimately, death is his only outcome. He'd be found guilty in Candor and prosecuted in Dauntless. Anything else would leave us vulnerable to Evelyn returning for him. Returning for me. Returning for Everly.

It solidifies my unconscious actions as I snap his head to the side. There is no satisfaction in the way it pops, in how instant his death is. His body immediately goes limp as tendons and veins are internally decapitated, and he is heavy as I step to the side. I drag him to the doorway, my heart rushing with pure, high speed adrenaline, and I steady myself at the opening.

"Eric!"

I'm dimly aware that Everly shouts my name, screaming it as I toss his body from the train. I watch it fall, tumbling down the steepening hill, until it vanishes into the roughage. It will be found by no one. The only thing out here is forest; there are minimal cameras, thick patches of weeds and trees and utter decay. He won't be found, nor will anyone wonder where he went.

I wait for the satisfaction to come. The relief. The aftermath.

The victory at ridding the factions of another useless, violent being. Another person determined to tear down the system. A threat. A soldier of Evelyn's army.

I turn around to find Everly standing there, her lips parted open and her eyes wider than ever. She stares at me in horror, her eyes finding mine, and she doesn't blink.

"Eric, what the fuck did you do?"

She gasps the words and the train turns again.

I stare at her, and the feelings I expect don't show up.

Nothing does.

Only pure, shallow numbness.


	44. The Truth about Landon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your patience! I hope you all had a good Spring Break!
> 
> Thanks to Bamberlee for editing this chapter 💕
> 
> Thank you for reading and reviewing!! I know these chapters aren't super fun, but we're almost through this rough part. Swear!

Everly's eyes are wide as I step toward her.

My jaw clenches down, biting back the urge to spew every single thought in my mind in her direction. I'd love to snap at her, because in this moment, I am surprised at the naivety of her questioning what I'd done. But she looks shocked; her skin just as pale as the snow and she watches me with an unreadable expression on her face.

"My job."

I stare at her, her posture tense and her fingers flexing as she struggles to comprehend what she just watched.

I'd killed Landon in front of her. I'd snapped his neck clean to the side, feeling everything pop as I chose to end his life now, instead of waiting. Why prolong the inevitable? He had hissed at me to go fuck myself, solely blaming me for his life's mistakes. A trial felt too merciful. Too compassionate considering he'd taken her from me, thinking he'd keep her in Amity with no one the wiser. Too understanding considering he'd been helping a wanted criminal. Too polite to overlook his involvement.

It should have been obvious I no longer had the patience or the generosity to listen to what he had to say.

Everly doesn't seem to get that.

She blinks.

Wide eyes, dark green. She's facing me, staring up at my expression, and for a moment, her shoulders fall downward. Her gaze falters, struggling to keep up with the last remaining bits of bravery she has. Standing there, she is like everyone else who has feared me. She's witnessed what I am capable of, forgetting that this was in her defense. That I'd reached my limit of how much I could handle when it came to her time away from me.

That I could and would destroy those who crossed me, especially those who tried to harm her.

Landon had wanted to believe he'd win out over me. That he could get beneath my skin, even if it meant dying. He was reckless and stupid, and nothing pissed me off more. In turn, I had acted without thinking; my actions were immediate and appropriate but entirely my own.

I have every right to sentence him to death, and I'd exercised that right to the fullest.

"Eric... you killed him," Everly blurts out, and her words are slow and stumbled. They are lost in the wind, now whipping around the train and screaming as we head away from the Amity border. "We should have questioned him back in Dauntless."

She looks at me in shock, and I would not be surprised if she stepped back away from me. There is something here I can't place, perhaps the surprise that she never believed I was capable of such an act, or the fact that she'd only heard about this rage but had never seen it.

Or perhaps sticky regret that he had died at my hands, with her watching.

"He had it coming. He'd been warned before." I announce, and my blood pumps loudly in my ears. I look at her, her posture screaming that she's nervous. That she's not believed this Eric existed. She looks wrongfully horrified, like I should have spared his life.

Like he meant something.

"Is there something wrong?" I ask, and my tone turns icy. It's not me, but it is. It's the pointed ends of an icicle, digging into her skin as she stares at me, her lips pressed together as if she wished she could vanish.

She swallows and her stare swings wildly away from me. There is a tense moment when she doesn't answer, until she does. "He... you didn't…".

Her protest reeks of what he'd told me.

Maybe he'd been right.

Maybe he hadn't been lying or trying to goad me. Maybe in a moment of weakness she'd given in, giving herself the comfort she would have been looking for.

Maybe.

My mind turns itself off, the image too impossible for me to think of.

I walk over to her, stopping directly in front of her.

"I'm looking out for the city. You've been trained to do the same, without hesitation." My words come out harshly, covering up the undulating insecurity that's threatening to take over. I remind her of her job here, that he came for her, and she would have had the right to kill him herself. But she blinks again, and there is only her heavy silence. The only noise is the wind, quieter now, and the groan from the train as it pushes onward. "I've told you before I won't let anyone hurt you."

"I know. It's not that…" She shakes her head, and my declaration is washed away by her fear. I feel it seep into my skin, and this stings like betrayal.

It's unlike her. Out of anyone in Dauntless, she'd never once thought negatively of me. Or had she? Maybe everything I knew was wrong. Maybe she'd been doing her best to ignore what she truly thought of me, all because I had offered her whatever she wanted.

This feels like betrayal, too.

Like I have been tricked, foolish to fall for her.

I dredge up the past few days, the warm moments I'd spent with her, and the honest joy when I'd told her I loved her. I focus on that, letting that image bleed over this one, until she shifts her weight and I'm right back here.

Arrogant, violent, and defensive. An Eric who had existed long before her.

"I did what needed to be done." I step away from her, crossing my arms over my chest. "He would have been executed back at Dauntless if that's what you're so concerned about."

She looks at me, nodding her head in the slightest. Her arms wrap around herself, and when she speaks, it's low and soft.

"Yes, but Eric…" The pause is heavy with tension, and her eyes flick to the open doorway. "He…he…"

She doesn't continue. She looks where he was standing, some internal debate raging on. When she doesn't say anything else, I turn away from her, unwilling to listen to this.

Coming from her, out of anyone in the Dauntless faction, this hesitance is unnerving.

 

 

"You killed him?"

Rylan stares, much like Everly, though his expression is impressed. "Sweet. Did his head pop off? Did his eyeballs fall out?"

"No." I answer dully, sitting down at my desk. It feels like ages since I've been back here, and even longer since I'd seen him. He was bouncing off the walls with excitement at our return, and he'd cornered me the second I split away from Everly. I'd all but hissed at her to go home, that I'd meet her there, and I'd walked straight to my office.

The rest of the train ride home had been tense.

Neither of us had spoken. The fragile time spent with her in Amity was gone. I could feel it slip away, the impossible happiness vanishing with every one of the slow stares she threw at me. She kept her distance, only coming near me to jump off the train, and I'd grabbed her arm to make sure she didn't fall. She stumbled when she landed, and I barely looked back once I knew she was upright.

The anger I felt was oppressive.

It was easily noticeable; the soldiers at the gate jumped out of my way, their stares swinging wildly as they weakly welcomed us back. They avoided me, asking Everly how things went and I didn't bother to listen to her answer them.

I was too livid, too furiously angry that she would question what I'd done. I certainly didn't need to justify my actions to her, but it felt like I did. It felt like she expected me to. Like killing Landon would only be acceptable if she felt he deserved it or gave me the go-ahead.

That wasn't how things worked around here.

I had every ounce of authority to kill him. Johanna knew he was guilty, and Everly knew he was guilty. He hadn't denied bringing her to Amity from the factionless, and he boasted how he'd had her in his bed. It was all the evidence I needed. There was no point in wasting everyone's time. The paperwork involved in holding him here until we could drag him to Candor. A trial by Jack, who would be understanding, but my personal business would be on display. It would be painted for everyone to see, and while they had the facts to convict him, they'd all come to their own pleased little conclusions that I'd drug him in out of rage and not as punishment for what he'd done. I had no choice but to end his life the way I did.

I was well aware this seemed like I was rationalizing all of this to myself.

But I wasn't. I had every reason to end his life. He had given me every reason I needed: neatly laid out in front of me, snarled in my face, thrown at me while Everly stood there.

"He came after her. Shoved her back. Had she fallen to the side, she would have been thrown from the train." I frown at him, and he nods. "She's upset that I killed him."

"The fuck?" Rylan nearly falls off his chair. "Everly is upset you killed him? Why? Because he's her ex-boyfriend?" He scrunches his face up, thinking this over and trying to figure out why or how she could be upset. "He attacked her and she's mad you came to her defense?"

"I don't know. She looked freaked out that I threw him from the train and then just kept saying my name." I offer up, scowling at the memory.

"Well, throwing him from the train might have come off a tad dramatic, but I suppose bringing his dead body here wouldn't have gone over well." Rylan nods again, then writes something on the paper he has on his lap. "Would you say she was freaked out or horrified? Or bothered?"

"Why are you writing this down?" I bark at him, sighing heavily when he shoots me an innocent look. "I guess she thought he deserved a trial. Maybe she wanted to hear him talk about bringing her back to Amity."

"Whoa, hold up. Back up. Bringing her to Amity?" Rylan's eyebrows raise up, and his pen pauses. "Was he….he was the….the one who brought her there from the factionless? I always wondered how she got there."

"Yes." My answer is flat. "He brought her. Even better, he implied he had her in his bed before I got there. He made sure I heard that part."

The pen goes right through Rylan's paper.

"She slept with him? While she didn't remember you?"

I shrug, and he looks suddenly queasy. As queasy as I feel at the thought of her with him. At myself, for letting her get kidnapped. At Four, for being stupid enough to not realize one of their initiates wasn't an actual initiate. And everyone in this faction, for existing.

"No, not that. Come on, man. You guys…you two have been together since she got here. I…I'm invested in this. Days ago you were planning your family and now you're telling me she might have fucked the dude? No, take it all back. Tell me you killed him because you didn't like his ponytail or something."

"I don't think she slept with him." I answer honestly, and there is a pain behind my right eye. "I think that's what he wanted me to believe. He was trying to make it seem like something happened because he knew I'd kill him and it would look like I did it because I was pissed off."

"Would she remember?" Rylan looks visibly bothered, and he rubs at his neck. "I'll kill him. Where'd you dump him?"

"He's already dead." I point out, and I shut my eyes. When I open them, he's still frowning fiercely. "Somewhere by the border of Amity. I don't remember."

"I'll head that way with Jason. You don't want someone finding…him." Rylan pauses, and he looks right at me. "Eric…did you ask her? I think she'd tell you if something happened."

"I don't believe anything happened. I think he wanted something to happen, but nothing did. That's why he tried to make me think otherwise."

"Okay," Rylan agrees slowly. "Dick move, but understandable. So, her being upset that you killed him bugs you because it lines up with his words."

"I guess." I stare at my desk, until my stare finds the computer. The picture of her and I, her on my lap, smiling as she took our photo. It feels like ages ago, the illicit romance I'd started by letting her sleep in my bed, her happy smile, my arm around her waist, all of that completely out of my grasp now. "She should know I would have done it no matter who he was."

"She might not know that," Rylan points out, and he exhales sharply. "She hasn't trained at all for any of the battle shit. That's Harrison's department and I haven't heard you say you made her work with him yet. She hasn't gone over any of the war procedures, or the training involved in bringing back a wanted suspect. She wouldn't know that you could handle him yourself, especially if he provoked you. If it went before Jack, he'd find you innocent. Not just because he seems to be oddly enamored with you, but because you acted out of self-defense."

"He's not enamored with me." I retort, unwilling to be hopeful that maybe Everly just didn't realize the same would be expected of her someday. Maybe that freaked her out. Maybe it changed things, showing her the violence she'd never seen from our end. "He practically forced us to become an ally of his."

"Mmm, yeah but he likes you. He could have asked anyone else. Instead, he went for you. Either way, he'd have dismissed the whole thing as a waste of time. Especially now. Anyone committing crimes on behalf of Evelyn will be found guilty. Especially considering he basically kidnapped her. They wouldn't trust him enough to keep him in a jail cell or let him wander free just because he was sorry."

"Well you and I know that." I lean back in the chair, and I stretch my head from side to side. "But he wasn't sorry. Sorry she didn't fall for it, maybe." My phone turns itself back on, having been dead for days now, and I eye it while the messages roll in. "Fuck."

"What?" Rylan stands up slowly. "Did she message you?"

"No, but I have six hundred messages I missed and about fifty of those are from Daniel. The last one says he's supposed to be here tomorrow." I scroll through his, wincing as he keeps asking me where I am. Eventually, he realizes I must not have reception, because his last message confirms he still plans on coming by and he hopes Everly and I are safe.

"Oh shit. Have him come another day. I don't think anyone wants to be eating dinner with you right now."

I glare at him, but I agree.

"Fuck. I'll deal with him later. He can eat with Arlene for all I care. You staying here? Because I'm leaving." I rise up from the desk, grabbing my phone and my tablet. I decide I'll power through most of these tonight, since that beats sitting there and defending myself to the one person I thought I could trust.

"Yeah, I'll walk you home. You gonna call Daniel?" Rylan waits for me to walk with him, and I shut the door with more force than necessary. We walk toward the elevators, passing a cheerful looking Linda as she types up one of Max's dumber memos. I can see the word fiesta on it, and I can only imagine what he's asked her to arrange.

"Have a good night, boys! See you tomorrow." She brightly calls out, her eyes never leaving the screen. She waves with one hand, then resumes typing.

"Bye Linda." Rylan waves, then sheepishly stares at me and shrugs his shoulders when I roll my eyes. "She made me lunch the other day because I forgot to bring mine. Now I feel like I have to be nice."

"Knock yourself out." I answer, jabbing the call button. "And no, I'm not calling him. I didn't plan this dinner. Everly can ruin his night by calling him and telling him he can't come here. He'll love that."

I push the button again, and the doors open to an empty car. I should feel triumphant at her being the one to cancel on him, but I don't. I feel nothing, other than dull, stabbing irritation.

I don't like any of this, but unfortunately, there's not much I can do.

 

 

She looks at me, her legs pulled beneath her and her phone pressed to her ear. I can hear Daniel talking, his tone very understanding from what I can tell, but she doesn't look happy. She keeps turning to see if I'm listening, or if I'll say something, perhaps telling her it's fine, to just have him trek through the ice and snow just to eat with us. That I'll be nice, having gotten over her wordlessly accusing me of…something, and this unease between us will be gone by then.

It won't.

So I don't say anything.

I'm busy responding to Jack. I hadn't answered him before leaving for Amity, so I answer him now. I explain what Karl and Harrison found, the hordes of factionless who were popping up during our patrols, and I pause only when I get to the part about Landon. I explain that we were stuck in the Amity faction, having gotten trapped by the blizzard, and I roughly explain there is some connection to Johanna's members and that, and I grit my teeth while I give her the benefit of the doubt, I also tell him she wasn't aware of what had happened. I type angrily, the words bold and black against the white screen, and I focus only on them.

I had this inkling she didn't know what had gone on.

That she was dumb enough to help the factionless, but not in the way everyone was thinking. Maybe food and water. Or shelter. Maybe giving them odd jobs to do, or refuge from the cold. But I don't think she was leading a rebellion in her spare time.

Or maybe she was.

Maybe I was wrong about everything.

I finish up by typing that we'd be heavily monitoring the Amity faction, including the fence, and that if he saw anything at all suspicious to call me. I dislike adding that last part, since he'd use it liberally, but it makes it seem like I'm involving him.

I decide it sounds fine. Reasonable enough. Professional, considering I'm not required to send him any of this. Polite, if you squinted. I write my name at the bottom of the email –Eric Coulter, and I hit send without rereading anything.

"Um..." Everly tilts her head, stalling as she tries to think of something to say, and I can see her face falling. She's still talking to him, the discussion of dinner popping up and she's probably weighing the benefits and risks of him coming here. From what I can gather, he's insisting he's fine to join us, but I can see she's nervous. We haven't spoken since returning to Dauntless, and he'll pick up on that immediately.

She gives in though, the idea of seeing him winning out over the risks of admitting things weren't exactly dandy right now. "No, tomorrow is fine. Eric and I can meet you at five?"

My head tilts toward her, and I look at her out of the corner of my eye. She's staring at the coffee table with a funny look on her face. She looks torn, no doubt debating over and over what happened, and my reaction to her reaction. I turn my attention back to the email, realizing Jack has already responded, when Everly answers him.

"No, it's really good to be home. And we can't wait to see you." She pauses, her tone bright and cheerful and faker than anything I've ever heard. "Bye Daniel."

She moves the phone away, staring at his name for a moment, before she presses end. She sinks back against the couch, far enough away from me that we aren't touching, but close enough that I could. I could reach over and pull her against me or sling my arm behind her so she could curl herself up against my side.

I don't move.

I stare at Jack's email, a delightful and elegantly worded response that borders on hysteria, after all –Candor isn't that far from Amity, and he asks that I drop by when I have time. He also asks that I send some soldiers his way, and I am once again, sucked right back into the drama of Evelyn. I log into the security system, and I pull up Karl's patrol schedule. I swipe through it with little interest; this is something I'd normally send to Karl, or before him – Peter, to adjust according to my orders, but I decide I'll handle it. I make a few quick adjustments, pulling soldiers where I can, rerouting them to Candor in short bursts that will make Jack calm down, and I realize I am fully deflecting this situation.

To the fullest extent I can.

Everly sits beside me, and I can feel her stare on me. Eventually, she looks away, and I keep going. I keep rearranging things, until a message pops up asking if I'd like to override the entire schedule.

I click yes.

I continue on, bulldozing my way through everything the supervisors have worked on. I lazily rearrange entire squads just because I can, and I click through their names. I idly dock Peter an entire day of pay since he was two hours late for his shift, and I increase Karl's pay since he'll be working overtime for this week. I find Harrison all over the schedule, having inserted himself into the routes that went closest to Amity.

I hover over his name, ready to take him off all of these. I could use him in Candor, and it would be reassuring to have someone with an actual plan leading the squads.

But I don't.

For some reason, I squint at his name and I decide to leave him as is. He's chosen odd times, times that no one else would want or is assigned, and I realize there's no point in moving him.

Mostly because he'll do what he wants, and it might just be a hunch, but he must have some reason for going there.

I keep going, until an email from Karl pops up, very politely asking me what the fuck I'm doing. I answer him, after all, I am fucking with his work, and I respond immediately. I inform what I'd found in Amity, how Johanna had a member who was working with the factionless, and I have no reason to believe there aren't more.

He responds quickly, volunteering to head there first thing if I need him to. I find myself in a never-ending email battle. I thank him, explaining that I'm also trying to ease the fears growing in Candor, and before I know it, it's later than expected. I yawn as he confirms my final schedule, and I agree to meet him in the morning. I turn out of habit, to catch Everly beside me, her nose stuck in a book. Every so often she'd looked over at me, and I'd looked at her.

I still had nothing to say.

I wasn't about to explain anything else, nor was I about to ask why she was so upset over her ex-boyfriend. One who'd taken her to Amity instead of bringing her here then implied how terrible it must have been for me while she was there.

He had no idea.

Everly meets my stare a few times, and we both are silent.

I toss the tablet aside, and I head into the bedroom wordlessly. For the first time since she's arrived here, I find myself telling myself that I don't care where she sleeps. There's a chance she might decide she doesn't want to be near me, and I tell myself this is also fine. If she doesn't trust me, or she's suddenly afraid or thinking I'll kill her in her sleep, I'm alright with that, too.

Even I know it's a lie that's not even plausible. None of this feels good.

In fact, it's rotten as ever.

It's garbage. The only person in this entire faction who I care about is suddenly looking at me like I've lost my mind and upset that I'd executed the person who tried to hurt her. Her logic is mind blowing, so I decide not to think about it. I brush my teeth, down a few allergy pills Jason had given me after I couldn't stop sneezing one day, and I head to bed. I shove the covers back on my side, a stark petty announcement that Everly could sleep wherever, and I climb in. My eyes close before my head hits the pillow, and moments later I fall asleep without thinking a single thought.

 

 

My alarm goes off loudly.

The sound is jarring, waking me up out of the hazy, dreamless sleep I'd been in, and I rub my eyes. It takes me a single second to realize Everly is right beside me. There is a wave of relief at the feeling of her against my chest, but also a wave of discontent because of yesterday. I'd gone to bed without speaking to her. Any normal person would have pointed out that I'd knocked myself out enough that I wasn't even aware she was there.

But she was.

Her nightgown is bunched up and her hands are on my chest, and she barely moves when I push her off me. Not meanly, and not roughly. But I told Karl I'd meet him, and I refuse to be late. I slide out of bed, ignoring the desire to crawl back in beside her, and I force myself into the shower. I don't care that the water isn't entirely hot, nor do I look at what I grab. I wash my hair with whatever I can reach, and I swear when I realize it smells like something expensive and sweet. I rinse it out quickly, and I shove Everly's shampoo back with more force than necessary, silently promising myself to make sure I use my own shampoo next time.

I get dressed quickly, brush my teeth while glaring at myself in the mirror, and I feel marginally better by the time I'm ready to leave. More like myself, at least the old version of Eric who lived here.

I swallow that pointed thought down, and with great annoyance, I head into my bedroom.

I had decided to leave without saying a word. Everly is still mostly asleep. I'm sure she's woken up somewhat; I hadn't at all been quiet, nor had I tried to avoid waking her up, but I have no desire to speak to her. I'm still irritated that she'd questioned what I'd done, and even more upset she seemed to think I was wrong.

I wind up heading around to her side of the bed without thinking. Her eyes are closed, but she's not as asleep as she was when I got up. I feel a flash of unfair anger, wondering if this was what Landon saw. Did he look down at her, her hands curled against the pillow and her hair spilling over her shoulders and think he'd won? Did he feel triumphant that she had returned, ignoring that it wasn't on her own free will? Did he feel victorious over everyone who'd noticed she'd left?

I do my best to taper it down, knowing it wasn't her, it was him. But her actions make me second guess myself, and I don't like that. I don't like feeling stupid, or lied to, and even I can't ignore that this is what it feels like. I suddenly want to leave her here, knowing I'd left without saying goodbye, that her power over me was gone.

My brain, despite liking this logic, has other ideas.

I reach out to touch her. My fingers skim over her shoulder, sliding over the thin fabric of her nightgown, then back down. She stirs the tiniest bit, and I say her name without thinking.

"Everly."

She blinks her eyes open.

I'm met with the deep, warm green eyes that have looked at me in every way imaginable. Now her eyes are sleepy, discontent with being woken up at this early hour, and hurt. I can see it swirling beneath everything, this dismay over being rejected.

I bend down, my mind laughing at me as I had sworn I was leaving, that she would know what happened when one crosses Eric Coulter, that she dare to question anything I did. My lips touch hers for a split second, not long enough to be anything, but also everything.

"I'll see you for dinner."

I announce to the bed. To the pillows, the dark sheets, the oversized comforter. The end table. The lamp. Everything but her.

She nods, her eyes watching me move away from her, and her lips turn downward. I leave without looking back, and I slam the door far louder than necessary. It echoes down the hallway, lingering after me while I walk, all the way until I meet Karl.

 

 

 

"I can head there today if you want. I told Harrison I'd go with him tomorrow, but this morning might be better. I have a few others who will be happy to head to Candor. Anything will be a break from the woods."

Karl shrugs at me, sitting in the staff break room in the mess hall. I'd decided we needed a change of scenery. Sitting in my office felt unappealing and sitting in the mess hall out with everyone else scrambling for breakfast wasn't on my to do list. I'd guided him into the kitchens, past the cooks working hard to make enough waffles for everyone, and right to Quinten. We'd ordered directly from him, not wanting to waste our time waiting in line, and Karl sank down beside me with an impressed look on his face.

He was seeing that my power here was endless, unless it came to my wife.

"That's fine. I told Jack I'd send a few patrols by. His paranoia is almost as strong as his high opinion of himself, so make it a point to stop by his office. It's-"

"I know where his office is. I'm from there." Karl grins, and he looks up at the formerly factionless woman who brings him a plate. She's still working in here, and she looks far different than the last time I saw her. She's not so skittish toward most, but sort of normal looking. Her hair is clean, pulled up in a ponytail, and her smile is wide. Karl stops speaking to graciously take the plate from her, and he smiles just as widely when she sets mine down sort of near me. "Thank you, Corrine."

"You know her?" I cock my eyebrow at him, also reaching to take the plate she'd set down as she scurries back to the kitchen. I have to admit it smells good, far better than what I'd expected for down here. "How?"

"Harrison introduced me." Karl laughs, and he shakes his head. "I was in here when he shoved her at Quinten. Told him he needed a wife and this woman would teach him how to cook. Quinten was really mad at first, but now he seems to like her." He pauses, cutting up his waffle and drenching it in syrup. "Charlotte told me the kids are in the daycare. She says they're nice, really shy. They didn't know how to play with the other kids."

"Oh," I swallow down a drink of coffee. I feel mildly uneasy at this idea, but maybe it's because I didn't know about it. I was used to knowing everything that went on in Dauntless but being gone for a week had shifted things. Unpleasantly. "That's…great."

Karl looks at me knowingly, well aware I probably didn't give a shit about the kitchen staff or the newest members of our faction who Harrison had decided would live here, but still irritated that I didn't know. "I met them once. I picked up Charlotte from work and they were still there. Quinten came and got them. It was weird to see him with kids. He was like, too big and they're really small. Charlotte said it's like they've never had real food before."

I blink at him.

In an odd turn of events, I had found I sort of liked this kid. I'd long gotten over his adoration of Everly. I understood it completely; they had been in the same class, even if just for an hour, and she was pretty. Sweet. Kind. They seemed to get along, and she gratefully appreciated that he hadn't readily dismissed her at first sight. There was a whole world to Everly people didn't know about, and it was easy to overlook it if you only focused on where she came from. I had seen the potential in her, maybe even from her first scowl in my direction when I didn't immediately agree to train her.

But Karl had seen the same thing, and I had gloated over this. I had thrown it in his face, lording it over him because I knew full well I had what he wanted. I had Everly. And if he felt that way, there had to be others. On a very primal, raw level, I understood that it looked like I had won. I had gotten the prize of having Everly, even though she wasn't something someone could claim.

Landon had tried and look how well that had worked out.

Karl knew this. He was smarter than I'd given him credit for. He realized it wasn't going anywhere, so he served his time, worked his shifts, and in turn, found the girlfriend he'd been wanting. I'd been annoyed to find he liked the girl he worked with, his punishment less so when he was busy swooning over Charlotte instead of cleaning up baby vomit. It worked out for him, though; Everly was a thing of his past, now a friend -or maybe an enemy after she got him in trouble, and things seemed to be looking up for him.

But sitting here, staring at him, I had to admit it felt like I was looking at an alternate version of myself. His uniform is as dark as mine, his boots are as shiny, and I freeze when he reaches for his coffee at the same time, swallowing down the black liquid happily.

"You don't want anything in that?" I eye him carefully. His haircut is the same as mine now, but to be fair, most of the faction kept theirs short. Those who favored the extreme styles did whatever the fuck they wanted, but our most active soldiers knew the shorter it was, the better off you were in case you got caught in battle. "Just…plain?"

"Yeah, why would I put anything else in it?" Karl looks at me like I'm insane, a look I'm growing unfortunately familiar with. "Hey, I need to ask you something. About the patrols. I've been working a lot lately, especially while you were gone. I got to shadow almost all the leaders, and I have to ask, has Harrison always been…so…so…"

"Weird? Bizarre? Out of his mind?" I interrupt, and I take a bite of the waffle. "Yeah, as far as I can remember. He's been weird."

"He is weird, but in a good way. Very…quirky. He said I should watch some show about dragons."

"He said I should watch it, too. I haven't had the chance but he brings it up every second he gets." I answer easily, and this meeting is suddenly far less shitty than I'd pictured. I didn't mind being up early, but I was so sick of Evelyn and anything to do with her that the idea of sitting here, even with Karl, was like needles in my eye. "Did he ask you about the language?"

"YES!" Karl blurts out, and we both reach for our coffee, again. At the same time. "Fucking, everything is duck this, decapitation this. Someone snow, king of the north. Bend the knee. Words that aren't actual words. A wolf…thing. I have no clue what he's talking about."

"I thought it was just me." I smirk over my drink, but my smirk drops when Rylan comes tearing into the room, his eyes wide and accusatory and he throws his hands in the air.

"WELL, WELL, WELL. Look who it is. Eric and Karl, eating breakfast without me." He glares at both of us, walking in a dramatically slow manner. "Not even bothering to hide the fact you didn't invite me." He glares something fierce, and his eyes fall to the plates in front of us. His expression changes to completely insulted. "Waffles. Those are my favorite. How dare you."

When he says waffles, his voice sounds choked up. He scowls at me, I roll my eyes at him, then wave him over.

"Shut the fuck up. I'll have…Corrine make you some. We met to talk about Candor. You want to go to Candor?"

"Who the hell is Corrine? And no, I don't want to go to Candor." Rylan emphasizes Candor as if it's an insult. "You know, I looked out for you Karl. I should have let Eric kill you during that meeting."

"Hey! He asked me to meet him and didn't want to eat with everyone else. And it's like six in the morning. You told me you didn't like to get up early so I didn't tell you about breakfast. But hey, you're always welcome to come along with us. Candor might be fun."

"Fine." Rylan sulkily takes the seat on the opposite side of the table, far away from us. "You're right. I don't like to get up early. No one should get up this early. But I'm not going to Candor, even if they do have a nice new restaurant there."

"They do?" Karl shrugs, and we both take a bite of our eggs. "I wouldn't know. I've gone through a few times, but never for long. I always wondered if they'd do anything with some of the older buildings."

"You'll find out. I'm sure Jack will take you there if you ask nicely enough." I answer. "He's all worked up over this, and maybe you'll find something. Who knows? We did find someone in Amity working with the factionless, so maybe they'll have moved on. His faction would be next."

"In Amity? Shit. The ones we questioned claimed to live there. I've gone through there a few times, but it was hard to tell who was factionless and who actually was supposed to be in Amity. They looked the same."

Rylan lets out a snicker. "Yeah, I could see that." His dark mood lifts, and Corrine appears out of nowhere. She asks him if he wants something to eat, and he cheerfully orders cereal.

"I thought you wanted waffles." I look at him, and he shakes his head.

"I'm meeting Christina later. I have to save room for dessert."

"It's six thirty in the morning. You're not going to eat all day?" I stare at him in disbelief, and he narrows his eyes at me.

"No, I'm not."

"Okay, well enjoy starving." I eat another bite of my waffle, and Karl laughs.

"Are we still on for next week? Charlotte said she'd like to come with us to Clyde's." He looks at Rylan, and I lean back in my chair, noticing Rylan suddenly looks everywhere but at me.

"Oh, you're going to Clyde's with Karl and Charlotte? Wow, how dare you? Clyde's is my favorite." I mock him, momentarily forgetting all the shitty feelings I was currently enjoying.

"You were on vacation in Amity for an entire month." Rylan shoots back quickly. "Seriously, we thought you guys were never coming back. Jason was very edgy the whole time. He was convinced Four had murdered you and then told us otherwise. He kept accusing Four and Four kept getting annoyed."

"Please. Like Four could murder me if he tried." I huff, and Karl snorts into his coffee.

"How was Amity? Did you have fun?"

"It was…Amity. It was exactly what you think being stuck there was like." I find myself growing angry at the thought of the Amity faction, mostly because it conjured up thoughts of Landon on the train. But Karl wasn't a part of that, and he couldn't help but be curious that we'd been gone for days when Four and Lauren had returned. "It was fine. Just…shitty because we found out one of their members was helping the factionless." I pause, shrugging as Rylan stares at me and shakes his head slowly. "Yes?"

"I'm just thinking…did anyone see you take Landon from Amity?"

"No," I reach for my coffee. "Only Johanna but she had to know he wouldn't be returning."

"Good." Rylan nods, clearly recovered from his insult at not being invited to breakfast, and he perks up considerably when Corrine drops off a bowl of cereal with marshmallows in it. "Thank you, random kitchen person. This looks amazing."

It doesn't look amazing, not unless you wanted to choke down sugary, oddly shaped rainbows and oats.

"So then, Eric you coming with us? It's not until next week." Rylan looks at me, and so does Karl. They wait for me to answer, but I can only shrug, unsure of everything right now.

"Maybe." I answer shortly, and Rylan gets it. He looks at Karl, and waves to get his attention.

"Hey, did you catch Tris the other night? She looked dead on her feet. She was walking in the hallway and she looked like she could fall asleep."

"Yeah, I saw her the other day. She looked like shit. She said she was tired. But I think she's looked like that for a while now." Karl answers, and I eye the two of them suspiciously.

They both seem fixated on Tris, an unfortunate choice, and I tune them out. I finish my waffles while he and Karl debate just how tired she really was, and a few minutes later, Corrine returns to take our plates. She's very polite, and her gaze sweeps back to where Quinten is standing, watching. He glares at me, nodding his head with a very intense stare until I look right at her.

"Uh, thank you."

I've never thanked anyone for bringing me a meal provided by the faction, so this is a first.

But she smiles like her whole life has been made, and Quinten relaxes. He watches her walk back, then nods encouragingly. I cock my head at them when he follows her back, right on her heels, whispering something at her in ragey, odd approval.

She looks up at him, her smile bigger than ever, and I feel gross.

Their mannerisms are oddly familiar, and it forces my stomach to twist itself in half.

 

 

My day goes downhill considerably when I find myself in Arlene's office.

Willingly.

She glares at me from across her desk, not liking that I'm flipping through her paperwork with wild abandon, scowling at the names. They are from Four and Everly's class; the same physical exam that Everly had, but with a few interesting notes. I read over their injuries, noting there are a few more than usual, and this class seems brave. I idly skim over what Arlene noted, her handwriting nearly identical to Daniel's in its pristine neatness, and she exhales sharply.

"Is there a reason you're down here, or are you really bored enough to be examining initiate health screenings?"

I look up at her, my feet propped up on her desk, and I toss the stack of papers back at her.

"Why? Are you busy? Do you have someone else you'd like to intimidate or yell at?" I cross my arms over my chest, sinking lower into the seat. "I came to see the class reports. I wanted to know how they were doing."

"They're late." Arlene answers bluntly. "Four put off their physicals, and I had to cram them all in. Their new curriculum is jam packed, and most wound up coming down on their own time. They're all fine. I didn't see anything you'd need to be alerted about. Not like you used to look for."

She gives me a pointed look, and I stare at her. "I know you aren't down here to read through the files of initiates who may or may not even make it here. Their medical history can't possibly be that fascinating to you. What's wrong? Why are you here instead of off with your friends?"

"Nothing is wrong," I answer sharply, and I bite down on the side of my cheek. "I'm fine."

"You've been in here for fifteen minutes now and haven't told me to fuck off once. Something is definitely wrong. Did you hit your head in Amity?"

I uncross my arms and move to stand up from the seat. Arlene shakes her head no, and points at me.

"Sit down." She pauses, taking off her glasses to rub her eyes. "What happened? Did something…go wrong in Amity? Did you drink something? Eat something weird? Did Everly decide she wanted to live there again? The appeal of running around with chickens finally win her over?"

I stare at her for a beat of silence, because while that thought is horrific, it might be easier to deal with than this situation.

"I killed Landon while we were there. Or leaving, to be more accurate. We were on the train. I snapped his head to the side and that was it." I answer quickly, and there's a flash of confusion across Arlene's face. "He's Everly's ex-boyfriend. I didn't file the paperwork on it because I don't want to. He was helping Evelyn. He deserved it."

"I see." Arlene definitely does not see, because she leans forward and narrows her eyes at me. "You killed him…just because? Or…. because…"

"He attacked her on the train. Told me he slept with her when she was in Amity and I thought she was dead." I shrug, pretending this still didn't prompt a violent reaction in me. "Had it gone to trial, he would have been found guilty and sentenced to death. I just did it earlier to avoid wasting everyone's time."

"How thoughtful of you." Arlene leans back, and I can tell her brain is whirling with all this information. She clearly didn't know who he was or what had happened, but no one did. I hadn't even told Max, and I certainly wasn't writing it up as an incident report. "And Everly is….is…"

She waits for me to continue, and my gaze falls to her desk. To the slew of papers waiting for her to sign off. The memos, shoved into a pile, filled with references of medicines and treatments coming here from Erudite. The menu from my anniversary dinner, oddly stuck beneath a packet discussing possible outcomes when it came to failing to finish one's antibiotic.

"She's upset I killed him."

Arlene's gaze snaps to me. Her lips press together, and her annoyance is oddly relieving. "She's upset you killed a man who attacked her? Does she still have feelings for this guy? Is there a reason she'd not want you to hurt him?" Her tone is defensive and tight, and she sits up straighter as someone knocks on the door. "What?"

Molly steps in, holding out a sign in sheet. "How do I schedule a prenatal appointment? It says with you but you don't…" Molly pauses, looking confused as she dares to glance in my direction. "Is there another doctor who comes here? I can't find them in the system. It's for…"

"Schedule them as other, new patient for now. I'll have to call Erudite if they want a specialist. Otherwise, we have a few here who can help. There should be a list up front."

"They aren't…entirely sure…who to ask for…" Molly looks at me, and I sneer at her. I have no fucking clue what they are talking about, other than that calling someone from Erudite to come here for an appointment seems like a huge waste of time. "Okay, you know what? I'll figure it out. I just didn't want to code it wrong."

"Thank you." Arlene answers in a tone dripping with impatience, then looks back at me. "Now back to your little issue. Where is Everly? Does she need me to remind her who you are here? Do you want me to…"?

"No." I answer flatly. Immediately. While her support is something I didn't think I'd ever want or appreciate, the thought of her questioning Everly over this is nauseating. "She's probably with her friends now. Let her be. I'm sure it'll blow over."

"You think this is gonna blow over? You murdered her ex-boyfriend and now she's upset and this will blow over? When? How?"

I shrug.

If I had these answers, I would not have come down here.

"I know you've looked out for her since the day she arrived here. She should be thanking you for what you did." When I glance up, Arlene looks angry now, and she slams some papers down for no reason. "Eric, listen to me-"

"I agree, I'm not arguing. I don't like being questioned about what I did. Security risk or no security risk. He attacked her. She doesn't get it." I sound annoyed; tense and uptight and unwilling to let this go. "My own wife. Wondering why I would protect her."

My last words are spoken with a bark of laughter, but even Arlene doesn't look amused. She's staring through me, trying to piece this together with the information I've given her.

While not the first time I've been frustrated with Everly, this is a whole new level of frustration for me. It was out of my control, and entirely maddening. I'd done everything for Everly. Changed my whole world for her. Risked my own life by giving up helping a woman who could have turned the faction against me. For the first time in my life, I'd been vulnerable to how I felt, giving in to emotions that I'd long suppressed. I'd given her everything, and all I'd asked for in return was that she trust me.

It looked like I was the stupid one.

"You should sit down and talk with her. Explain why you felt the need to kill him." Arlene blinks, and shakes her head. "Is she afraid of you? Is that why? You've always been very…" She pauses, and I know what's coming. "You protected her for a long time. She has no clue what happens out there. On the patrols. The soldiers who spend their days keeping the factionless in line. You've kept her safe and she forgets who you are."

I swallow and my eyes shut briefly.

"I have to go." I stand up suddenly, and my throat feels like it's closing in on itself. Talking about this was worse than thinking she was dead. At least then, I knew she had loved me. I knew she and I were happy, and now, I don't know any of that. "It'll be fine. I'm not going to apologize for what I did. Not with him. She can…sit there and be upset for all I care."

"Eric, I'm sorry." Arlene stands up too, and for one horrific moment, I'm afraid she's going to try and hug me. "She has to have a good reason. She has to know what she means to you. I know. There has to be a reason she'd be upset over this."

Her look changes to pity and sadness and I suddenly can't look at her. I don't know why I came in here. Perhaps I wanted to seek out reassurance that I was right, and I knew Arlene would give it to me. She would have yelled at me if killing Landon was the wrong choice or told me to get over myself. But now, her expression is exactly what I feel.

Raw and bitter unease.

 

 

Peter shows up after lunch.

I dove back into my work, focusing on that over anything else. It was soothing and distracting, the perfect diversion instead of dealing with the fact that I hadn't spoken to my wife all morning. I hadn't called or messaged her, but there was silence on her end, too. She hadn't come in here, not blinking or smiling or sliding something sweet in my direction to end this. I found myself gritting my teeth as I forced myself not to look for her, and I gave her the space she needed.

It felt oddly permanent.

Peter's arrival is distracting, mostly because he looks grossly pleased with himself. I look up slowly, unimpressed that he didn't knock, and even more unimpressed that he's in here instead of working.

"What?"

"Welcome back." He greets me a little too slickly, and I realize he thinks he has something on me. "It's nice to see you around here again. Thought you might have taken up permanent residence in the Amity faction."

I sign my name on the paper in front of me, heavily. "Is there something you need? Because you have work you should be doing according to the schedule you submitted." When I look up he's still there, still standing, his eyes glued to the paper I was working on.

"Funny you bring that up." Peter pauses, daring to come closer to me. "I was down in the mess hall earlier, and to my surprise I saw Christina."

"And?" I ask dryly. "Is this supposed to be news? She is allowed to eat there as far as I know."

"She was eating lunch with your wife." Peter flashes a smile at me, full of feigned sympathy. "Isn't Everly…supposed to be working? I realize you were stuck for a few days, but she seems to still be off. And you're back at work. I thought maybe she wasn't feeling well or had had enough of the program. I didn't see any announcements that she had completed it."

I meet his stare, and my own is vicious enough that he steps back.

"I just…shouldn't she be with Four?"

"Is that your business?" I ask lowly, and he has the decency to realize his mistake. "Do you make her schedule? Does she report to you?"

"No," he answers quickly. "I was just…"

"Get out of my office. Don't come back unless you have something to actually report. If I see you don't have enough things to do during the day, I'll make sure to find you some." I point at the door, and he nods. There's regret on his face, but also pure, honest irritation. "In fact, you'll work today for free. Since you have so much time to be wandering around."

His face darkens, but he can't say much.

He nods, his eyes narrowed and his expression sour but he leaves. He slinks through the door, his beady eyes frantically searching for Max so he can rat out Everly for not being at work. I decide to help him, and I lean back in my chair, exhaling sharply as I text Max. I inform him Everly is busy with work I've given her and will return to the training class next week.

His response is immediate.

He says fine, he figured as much, and I shake my head.

I'm not relieved. I could have Everly do whatever I wanted and write it off as part of her training. Peter had no real authority here, no ground to stand on when it came to pointing out what others were doing wrong, and no balls to back it up. He wasn't in charge of her, of Four and the training classes, or even the janitorial staff.

When it came down to it, Peter was a fucking pain in my ass. Since coming here, he'd been desperate to hold a position of authority. Desperate to be accepted amongst the leaders, desperate to spend his time catching others slacking off. He was pissed he'd never been given the immediate promotions he'd wanted, but I never saw any reason. He was a fine soldier when he wanted to be, but past that, there was nothing. A conniving little shit, always looking for someone else's mistake to make him look better.

I close my eyes again, this day starting to feel years long, and when I open them, Harrison is sitting across from me, watching me intently.

 

 

"Does she know?"

"Know what?" I bark, and I swear, it's like he's always lurking around my office, just waiting to slide in and grill me about what Everly did or didn't know.

"Does she know that little shit is trying to get her in trouble?" Harrison points over his shoulder, at my closed door. "I ran into that dumbass Peter outside. Whining to Max that Everly isn't working. Max, old boy, put him in his place, but I think it might be time we demote him to the patrols furthest away from here. Out by the wall. He seems oddly obsessed with your wife."

"Yeah, I'm aware." I mutter, and I gesture for him to sit down. "It's more than likely not her. He's mostly concerned with himself. If she's not working, why should he be? He sees her eating lunch as an opportunity for him to get ahead." I examine his face closely, and he looks oddly enraged. "Are you alright? You look strangely upset over this."

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just irritated that he's nosing around. Tell me, how was Amity? Did you enjoy your time there?" He takes a seat, propping his feet up on my desk. "We tried to keep tabs on you, Jason and I. But your phone lost reception and we couldn't tell if you were dead or alive."

"I tried to call him, but it wouldn't connect." I answer him, finding his arrival to ask about Everly suspicious. I shrug it off as boredom, but it comes right back when he stares at me. "But no, I did not enjoy my time there. We got stuck investigating someone in the fields, couldn't find them, and I got some shitty news. So, there you go. It was hardly amazing."

I'm aware my answer is slowly growing more and more despondent each time someone asks me how it went. Everyone knew I had been stuck there, but it seemed like they all thought I should come back exalting its praises for how wonderful my time had been.

It could have been.

But it had ended on such a shitty note, that it was all I could think about.

"I see. And Everly? Did she have fun?" Harrison cocks his head at me, not blinking while he waits for me to answer.

I look at him, the nagging feeling kicking me in the head as I try to figure out what his angle is here. I appreciated his concern for her, but it felt…misplaced. "It's Amity. How much fun can one have while trapped there?"

"A lot." Harrison answers far too casually, and he reaches into his pocket. "I'm well acquainted with the faction. You could have fun if you know where to look." He pulls out a handful of notes, then reads them quickly. "Well, let's get down to business. You're probably wondering why I'm here."

"To tell me about Everly not knowing something?" I raise an eyebrow at him, and he raises one right back at me.

"No dumbass. I came to warn you about Peter. You should be thanking me."

I blink.

"Anyway, I came to talk to you. It was brought to my attention that your wife will have to be trained in battle tactics. The art of war mapping, arranging a plan of attack. The methods and consequences of war. My area of specialty. Just so you know, I'm well versed in how to talk to people from Amity, so Everly should be fine."

"She'll be fine, because she's a normal person." I point out. "You can just talk to her like you do anyone else. Normally."

My last words come out as a command, because I know she has to train with him, and I can just picture him trying to speak to her like she's some foreign creature.

That wouldn't go over well. For one, she'd catch on right away that he was treating her differently. And two, this part of the program was important, and probably the easiest to fuck up. It didn't matter how fast you were, how strong you were, or how smart you were. If you couldn't quickly command your troops into a plan of attack, you might as well have shown up empty handed.

Training with Harrison was a whole different world, though, one I'd held off from introducing Everly to. The simulations might have felt real, but this was real. It was more intense because it was one on one, with him leading the class. He was meticulous, which came in handy for us, but also…still Harrison. Which meant it didn't go well for those who had to train beneath Harrison.

He might have come off nuts, but he had very high expectations of who he trained.

Almost as high as mine.

He and I had been at odds the first time I sat down with him. My goal was to figure out what he knew, what he wanted, and spit it back at him. He saw through that eighteen-year-old bullshit real quick. I was forced to prove to him, over and over, that I wouldn't be leading my squad into instantaneous death. For weeks, I worked alongside him, grueling war games that made the initiate war games look like nap time, day after day, until I could defeat him.

It was the first time I learned not to underestimate him.

My friends followed.

He knew who we were, and to spite us all, he refused to let us work with him together. He took great joy in the fact that he made us train separately, and Max quickly decided it should stay that way.

Jason and Harrison got along well, but Jason kept mixing up his left and right and Harrison nearly lost his mind when Jason told him he'd never remember. He also misspelled Wednesday on a few reports, and Harrison didn't like that, either. He passed, after Linda was forced to sit between them for the rest of their training and act as a mediator. He also passed because they both shared a belief that a demon lurked on the lowest levels of Dauntless, and both refused to head down there alone.

Rylan had no patience for any of it. He was smart, able to quickly whip up a plan of attack in seconds, but he couldn't take Harrison seriously. It had gotten him in trouble with Max, something that he sulked about for weeks, until Max pointed out Harrison was pissed off over him pissing away his potential. Things were better after that, but Rylan definitely sulked when Tori passed in a single day and Rylan was forced to take the class again.

I had no clue how Everly would do.

Fine, I was assuming. She was logical enough to understand the plans he'd show her, and smart enough to come up with her own. It was just that writing it all on paper was cake. Easy. You could quickly place soldiers, move them around, and talk about what you would do. It was doing it in action that was harder. That was why Harrison wanted part of the program to include taking over a patrol squad. The practice drills he'd emailed me for months on end. Simulations geared toward making sure our soldiers knew what to expect. I tried to imagine Everly going through all that, and I could only flash back to Colton. To her killing him at the factionless compound, deep beneath the Earth, saving her own life before I got to her.

She had proved to me she could do it, but she'd have to prove it to him. To pass this Leadership Program, she'd have to prove that as a leader here, she possessed enough of a survival instinct to protect not just herself, but others.

"I look forward to working with her." Harrison nods, and shoves his notes back in his pocket. I wonder what else is written on them, then I decide it's probably safer if I don't know.

"I'm sure she'll…enjoy it." I try to think of something that sounds dismissive, hinting that he can leave anytime. I'll gladly assign her to work with him, since she has to and I doubt Max will let her out of it. "Anything else?"

"Nah. Just thought I'd see how you were doing. Everyone said you've looked pissy since you've been back. Wanted to see if it was true. I told 'em you always look pissy so what's the difference."

I shake my head, and I force the fakest, tightest smile across my face.

"Thank you."

He smiles back.

He sticks around for another minute, watching me check my phone for the messages I know aren't there. He watches me choke down the rage of disappointment that there is nothing from Everly, though that's probably smart on her part. But it still stings, like anything would have been better than this silence.

He watches me eventually shoo him away, when I realize I don't have much longer before Daniel is here, and he will know the second he sees us that things are not right.

 

 

"Hey."

Everly pauses at the entryway of Clyde's and her eyes search mine. I can see the frustration on her face, sliding over all her features as we hesitate to head inside. She looks up at me, and I know she's hoping I'll reach for her, or perhaps blurt out that I wanted this to be over, now. That we can forget about all this and go on with our dinner like nothing ever happened.

But I can't.

I had stood my ground, and we hadn't spoken all day.

I wasn't about to apologize for protecting her, not like this. This wasn't Four, over reacting because Tris walked too fast down the stairwell. This was Everly, not understanding that my job was to keep the factions safe, and that included her. It always had, and it always would. She might not understand my methods, and it was obvious she didn't like them, but this is how it is.

And I wouldn't back down.

Certainly not on this.

And clearly, neither would she.

"Come on. I'm sure he's here already." I reach for her, only to nudge her forward, and she nods. There is one more glance thrown in my direction, painful and hopeful, and I shake my head.

My attention is diverted from her, to the crowd in front of us, because Clyde's is a shit show.

I can tell it's crowded, and I'm right. It's noisy and hot as every single table is taken up by those barely lucid after drinking all day, and those scowling as they wait for tables. It feels like the space has shrunk, right along with my uniform.

I follow behind Everly, with an enthusiasm level of zero percent as we look for Daniel. He shouldn't be hard to find; he'll probably be the only one in here wearing blue, and the only one who looks stuffy and boring and completely out of place. It would have been in everyone's best interest to reschedule this dinner, but Everly had chosen to have him come anyway.

I have the feeling it'll be one long dinner.

We head past a few large parties, wind through some tables and a group of red-faced soldiers, and there he is. He looks like he's come right from the hospital, his suit jacket sharp and neat, and he's scanning the room as though he'd never been here before. After a moment he spies us, and he waves at Everly, smiling widely as we walk over, but his smile tightens when it lands on me.

I'm sure he's wondering what the fuck is going on.

I don't look thrilled to be here, and even Everly had some apprehension to her. She slides into the booth first, and I sit down close to her. Too close, considering I haven't spoken to her for an entire day, though there's some relief in being next to her again. Things feel marginally normal when she's pushed up against my side, and I feel her sink against me as she greets Daniel.

Like this day as worn on her just as much as it did me.

Just like I thought, he knows there's an odd tension in the air, and it surrounds him immediately.

Daniel clears his throat, this awkward argument bouncing between us, and his eyes flick to me. Were he a braver man, he'd probably throw me some sort of accusatory glare. Like everyone else, he'd think this was my fault. That his conversation with Everly was weird and distracted and it was all because she and I weren't getting along, or I'd done something.

But he's not a brave man.

He looks at me with an uncomfortable pleading stare to either say something or fix this whole thing, so I give in.

For reasons I can't pinpoint.

"Did the storm cause you to lose power in Erudite?" I finally ask, giving him the chance to talk forever. He takes it, grateful that someone spoke up, and we aren't sitting in complete silence.

"It did. Luckily, I didn't have anything too pressing scheduled. I did push back a few appointments, but nothing major." He looks up right as Lucy arrives. She drops off our usual drinks without us having ordered them. I watch her carefully, her gaze slipping over Daniel with casual interest, and it's obvious she's grown accustomed to seeing him here. His presence would normally be alarming, or perhaps unnerving. Someone nosing around our faction, scouring every inch of the compound, including this bar, sitting at her table.

But she's learned he's fairly harmless. He's polite and patient, and he no longer grimaces at the piercings in her skin or her ever-changing hair. She smiles, mostly at him and Everly, and she manages not to scowl in my general direction.

"What if there had been a major emergency?" Everly asks once Lucy vanishes. Our table has fallen quiet, and while not horrible, the roar of Clyde's somehow makes it more noticeable. "It seemed like it snowed forever. I didn't know it could shut down the city. What would you have done if you had needed to perform surgery?"

"We have our ways. Had there been a true emergency, we would have made it work," Daniel answers quickly. I can see his mind whirling, thinking of all the terrible things that would happen if he couldn't work. He'd probably have to stay home with his wife, and that was the last thing he wanted.

To be fair, no one wanted to be around Blythe.

I reach for the drink in front of me, my lips turning up at the thought of Daniel and Blythe forced to stay at home together, and I find a speck of joy in that. Everly glances up at me, and I eye her carefully. "Every faction has backup generators for emergencies so they're never truly shut down, but the snow did make it impossible for the trains to run. Therefore, we had the pleasure of staying in Amity." I reach behind Everly, speaking to her, but also not to her, and I reach my arm behind her to rest it along the back of the booth. She immediately leans back, and I set my drink down. "And of course, that's where we'd end up getting stuck."

"I take it you were there for longer than you wanted to be," Daniel smiles, finding himself very clever. "I'm sure you two made the most of your time away from here. You know, I went to Amity once, years ago. I accompanied Blythe out there to see a woman who was convinced her livestock were talking to her. She told us they could communicate with her and they told her they wanted to live inside her home."

I look at Everly out of the corner of my eye, highly entertained at this. Daniel Coulter, brain surgeon extraordinaire, had gone to Amity to see a lunatic who had talking goats. How wonderful that must have been for them to witness.

Everly glares up at me, her face darkening in embarrassment.

"Um… I have no idea who that would be," Everly quickly answers, shaking her head. Her cheeks are pink, and I know damn well she knows who it was. I idly wonder if it was Eden. It seemed like something she might come up with. Talking animals who preferred to sleep on the couch instead of in their pen.

Daniel laughs, taking a sip of whatever he's ordered. "I think her name was Mary. And there was nothing wrong with her, she was just very enlightened thanks to a supplement she was taking. It caused her to hallucinate."

He's lying.

It had to be Eden.

Everly shakes her head again, still looking embarrassed. She doesn't say anything else, and I don't either. I sit with my own thoughts, wondering what sort of supplement caused the ability to speak to animals, when the waitress returns to take our order. Even she seems to catch on to the tenseness, and she's quick. She leaves in a huff, being called away to another table and their demand for ketchup.

"So, how's everything at home?" Everly asks Daniel once we all watch the table settle down. She looks over at him, and his smile lessens. I can see the stress rush right back up, creaking in around his eyes.

He forces a smile back in place, and nods. "Everything's fine, dear. Work is busy. But busy is good..." He pauses, shrugging his shoulders without finishing his lie.

I doubted things were good.

For one, he was here.

A faction he wasn't supposed to be in, having dinner with the two people his wife hated more than anything in this world. Were she to find out, not only would he be on the line for lying to her, she'd never let him forget it.

There is no way things are as fine as he was pretending.

I decide to call him out on it. For someone who lived for rules and order, this was out of character for him. While he could get away with it for a bit, eventually, it would catch up to him. "Does Blythe know you've been coming here?"

My fingers touch Everly's shoulder. I'd meant to keep them away from her, but it's habit. I want to touch her, to press this argument right out of her, but instead they trail along her shoulder blade.

Daniel studies his drink. His mouth presses shut, not liking my question. But it's a good one. After all, eventually, he'd slip up and she'd be there with her claws sharpened.

"No, she doesn't. But it's easier this way. I think you know why."

He looks up at me, and I shrug, not convinced.

"Has she caught on that you aren't at work?"

His gaze turns to Everly. I often wonder what he thought of her, past liking her because she was nice. Did he really want to know her for any reason other than he thought it would fix things between him and I? Did he think she was too young or naïve? That her hair was too long or her clothes were too dark? I'd often wondered if she'd wound up in his hospital, would he have treated her any differently? Or passed her off as just another member of Amity?

To my surprise, Daniel grins at her, like they're sharing some secret. "I told her I had some research to do. I'm giving a presentation in a few weeks, so she thinks I'm focusing on that. But she's been rather busy herself. She doesn't mind the quiet time."

My response is more a grunt of annoyance, and it's followed by Everly elbowing me. She likes his answer or believes it enough that she doesn't like me mocking him. It might be my current mood, but I can't imagine this will end well. When Blythe caught on that he wasn't working on some project, there would be hell to pay. She kept a very strict set of appearances for them, and him visiting Dauntless to see his daughter in law didn't fit in to that picture.

"I'm glad you could make it," Everly tells him, and there's a tension to her voice that he picks up on. His stare flashes to me, then her, and she feels small beside me. Were she not pressed up against my side, I feel like she might have vanished.

Luckily, our food arrives at that moment, and it's the distraction we all need. No one says much while we eat. Everly chews her hamburger slowly, and I eat without actually noticing what I'm eating. Every so often Daniel looks at me, and I shake my head. Had we been closer, I might have hinted that I'd call him later. If we had any sort of relationship, I might have told him what happened. That I'd killed Landon and Everly wasn't good with it, and now things were shitty. I couldn't possibly explain how much it felt like I was the one being choked, at the thought of her upset over him.

But we aren't close.

Not at all.

So I say nothing. Eventually, the silence grows too heavy, and Everly talks about her class with Four. I listen to her carefully, and she's proud while she talks about the work they're doing. Daniel is all ears, impressed that she's training them, and he seems genuinely interested. When she returns to eating her fries, he asks how I'm doing, a not too subtle hint that I could tell him if I wanted to.

Instead, I talk about Evelyn. There's a burning rage that comes along with her name, because I immediately flash to Landon, but it's enough small talk that he's satisfied. He agrees about the extra patrol squads, while he doesn't know much about how Dauntless works, the small talk is passable. It lasts through the rest of the meal, until the server returns to take our plates.

She looks at me, and I move my arm away from Everly. I grab the point card needed to pay and shove it at her. Daniel looks at me, about to protest, but I shake my head. It would show up on his statement, and it would be fairly obvious he hadn't eaten here alone.

The server leaves, and Everly leans forward. "I have something for you upstairs. From my mother." She sounds hesitant, the idea of him ever wanting something from Amity ridiculous, but he smiles widely.

"I can't wait."

Me either.

When the server returns, I sign my name on the bottom of the receipt, throwing her more points than necessary for serving us quickly, and we all stand to leave. Daniel thanks me, his stare still worried that something was wrong, and I roughly tell him he's welcome. Everly looks back at us, patiently waiting next to a group of our newer members, and we follow her through the maze of tables. I reach for her, my hand on her lower back, feeling better with this connection between us. We leave Clyde's wordlessly, this dinner having been one of unease, and I can feel it with every step Everly takes. It vibrates from her, the tension pulled up in her shoulders, until I reach for her.

I take hold of her hand, small and cold, and I slide my fingers between hers.

I can't quite look at her, because I can't tell what my expression will be, but it's too sharp a feeling to push her away.

 

 

Our walk home is painful.

What I'd like to do is forget about these past few days. I'd like Everly to look up at me and tell me she understood and reassure me that she got why I'd killed Landon. That she shouldn't have doubted my actions or been surprised I'd go after him.

Instead, Daniel talks for most of it. He walks along with us, his blue jacket stark against the dark walls and his pace slower than mine. It seems to take forever, and he uses his time to hint that he's free the next few weeks. I roughly inform him I'll check my schedule. He's not even gone from Dauntless and he's trying to schedule his next visit. I should be happy because Everly looks elated at this news. She looks hopeful he'll return soon, but at the rate things are going, next time might be just as awkward as this time.

"I uh, I'll just grab it quick." Everly's words break my train of thought, and we finally arrive back home. She lets go of my hand while I unlock the door, and she chews on her lip while she debates giving him the bag. "She wasn't sure how to get it to you, so I have it."

"This is awfully nice of your mother," Daniel responds, and he follows us inside. He looks far more relaxed now, his hands in his pockets as he glances around. The last time he'd been in here, I'd been surprised to find him in my bedroom, and even more surprised to see him as I kissed Everly in my kitchen. I hadn't enjoyed that surprise at all, and I don't really enjoy him in here now.

Everly looks appropriately concerned. "I don't think it's any big deal. She enjoys making this sort of stuff. You don't have to use it. I'm not really sure what she was thinking or why she felt the need to give you this."

Daniel forces himself to pretend he's not horrified. Whatever she's given him is homemade, and there's a good chance his skin will melt off. It's a shame he's robbing us of the opportunity to see it happen. "I'm sure it's fine. And it's a very kind thought."

Everly nods, and she takes off into the bedroom. I stop by the counter, and Daniel stops right by me. He's too close, just like Eden was, and he looks right at me.

"Eric, is everything alright? Both of you look…. despondent. The entire dinner. Did something happen?"

I look at him, steeling my expression, and this moment wavers between us. It's important; if I confess to him what's bothering me -my own wife suddenly not trusting me, and the fact I could possibly lose her over this, it'll be huge. He'll know I trust him, that I need some sort of reassurance or guidance that he could provide, not as Daniel, but as my father.

Except his own marriage is a laughable joke, and while he's made an effort to get to know me, he really knows nothing about me.

Or Everly.

"Just…security threats. Evelyn, shit like that. We've found her men in places we didn't quite expect." I answer him quickly, and his face is the same mask of indifference that mine is. Not too hopeful, not too expectant. "Everly didn't take it well."

"In Amity?" Daniel immediately asks, and I nod.

I reach for the tablet on the counter, and a few clicks later, the map lights up. I point to the border of the Amity faction, then the center.

"Here. We've found a few who were…living in Amity. It obviously is hard for her to realize those who she lived with didn't have the best of intentions."

"I would imagine." Daniel looks at me, his expression tense. "Is she upset they were still there? Her mother is there, right?" His whole face darkens, despite his disapproval of Eden's job there. "Does she want to go back?"

"No," I answer sharply. "Her mother is fine. I've routed more security through there than anywhere. But she was close with one and she didn't take his demise well."

"Oh." Daniel looks up, shaking his head suddenly. I turn to see Everly, clutching the bag in her hands.

"Here you go. I wouldn't suggest drinking any of it, even if it says you can," She offers it to him, speaking lowly. I can see she's torn, both horrified by what she's giving him, and respectfully embarrassed, since her mother made it.

"I wouldn't dream of drinking it until I've figured out what it is." Daniel grins, and Everly looks at him with a funny, forced smile. Her gaze drops from him to the tablet, catching sight of Evelyn's name as the screen darkens. I see her eyes widen, and I shove it away. Both she and Daniel stand there, silent as ever, and I clear my throat.

"We'll see you in a few weeks. Maybe we can join you for lunch," I throw out. I'm watching Everly, her gaze back on Daniel. She perks up for the moment, and Daniel looks far happier than I've seen him this entire visit.

"That sounds fantastic. Call me and we can pick a day," he answers immediately, his tone pleased.

He looks at Everly again, and I nod at both of them.

"Great. I'll walk you out." I look over at Everly, and her eyes find mine. "I'll be back."

"Okay."

It's the most we've spoken to each other all day, and I feel this every step of the way.

 

 

 

"Will you be heading back to Amity?"

Daniel talks while we walk, his eyes watching out for the sharp steps I'm leading him down. I wonder if I'd taken him this way subconsciously, hoping he'll fall or stumble down the steep steps. But I don't, really. There's a weariness to all of this. For one shining moment, everything in my life had clicked into place. Not long ago, I'd sat at a table while people, including Daniel, celebrated my life with Everly. They had been happy for me, for what I had found, for how things had turned out.

Now, all I felt was bleakness that I couldn't shake. The old Eric would have blown it off. Gone down and punched things until I felt better. Yelled at Everly to get out. If she didn't trust me, after all I'd done for her, then why bother? I could always start over, find someone who wouldn't look at me with such horror over saving them, thinking I was out killing people just because I could.

But I didn't want that.

All I wanted was Everly.

I wanted things back to normal.

Her hand tightly through mine, her frame against mine, her stare not accusatory or frustrated. I wanted my life back to normal, the sweet moments that had never truly been for me, and the warm nights with her, her hands in my hair and her gaze glued to mine. It was embarrassing, feeling like this. I could have everything, anything I wanted, but right now, I had nothing.

It felt like before. The same sinking weight of her being gone, except she wasn't gone. She was in my apartment, still thinking I'd killed Landon just because I could.

"At some point. I have patrols going through there now. I sent Karl closer to where Everly's mother lives. I want to make sure they don't come after her. There's a chance.." I pause, and my stomach tightens. "There's a chance they'll make the connection that Everly has family there. If they get pissed off enough. Evelyn had a few men in the Amity faction, including an ex of Everly's."

"Oh." Daniel's head turns to me, and his expression is displeased. "Is he still there?"

"No." My answer is sharp, and Daniel carefully looks at me, and steps over a bridge that sounds like it could give out at any moment. We descend further into the darkness, and it feels fitting as it bleeds up around us. "I killed him."

Daniel blinks.

He reaches one hand out to hold onto the railing as we cross, but he never loses his footing, not even at the casual announcement that I'd murdered someone in my free time. "On purpose?"

"Yes."

My hands are clasped behind my back, so tight it hurts.

"Why?" Daniel looks at me again, and it's as though he suddenly understands why I could barely look at Everly during dinner. "Everly…she didn't like that? That's why she looks…."

"He attacked her. He aided in her kidnapping. Took her back to Amity when he should have brought her to me. He was working for Evelyn. I knew he'd be sentenced to death and I figured why not do it myself?" My answer is slick; it reminds me of my old days, when I would have dragged Landon in by his hair given the chance. "I did it because he would have hurt her. He knew it was coming, and he still tried to do his best to get between us."

"And he did." Daniel's words are not a question, and I throw one malicious look his way. "I could tell neither of you were very happy. You'll have to realize something, Eric. This probably won't be your first fight. It might seem like the world is ending now, but you'll get through this. Neither of you want to be at odds with each other."

I look at him out of the corner of my eye, and I wonder if he realizes he sounds insane. He's attempting to give me some sort of fatherly advice, over the death of Everly's ex-boyfriend.

He can tell.

"You might think I'm crazy, but I would bet neither of you are mad for the reasons you think."

"She doesn't trust me. She looked at me like I'd killed him out of spite." I bark the words at him, and the feelings rise up all over again. "You should have seen her, looking at me like I could come for her next. The same would have been expected of her. She would have had to defend herself, up to killing him if need be."

Daniel nods. The urge to shove him off the bridge isn't there like I thought it would be, and I feel a wave of relief as we near the furthest exit used. "Maybe she wasn't used to seeing you like that."

"She's heard enough." I answer thinly, and he shakes his head.

"Hearing and seeing are two very different things." Daniel looks right at me, and he frowns. "You really think she doesn't trust you anymore? Because of what you did?"

"Yeah, I do." I stare at him, wondering how I could know him, know who he is –his name, his position at the hospital, how he drank his coffee, that he actually needed his glasses, that his assistant was probably in love with him and he wouldn't know it even if she told him to his face, but not know him. He could be anyone staring back at me, trying to figure something out.

It hits me that he's looking at me with this pained expression, and in that moment, I feel like we're both hanging on by the same thin thread.

One that's unraveling, second by second.

"I'll call you later on this week. I know she'll want to see you again." I tell him, and he steps forward, closer to me. He opens his mouth to say something, and behind him, the security clearance beeps and the doors open. Neither of us have swiped anything, but it meant that someone was watching, probably Four, with nothing better to do.

"I'll call you tomorrow. Check in on you." Daniel touches my arm. It's brief and uncomfortable, the only sort of reassurance he can offer me. I nod as he walks away, watching him reach for his phone to call someone.

He frowns when he looks at it, then shoves it back in his pocket as the car pulls up.

He leaves Dauntless just as quietly as he arrived.

 

 

The night is unkind to me.

I'd been able to escape Everly's stares for some time, but it was starting to wear me down. I refused to cave in on this. I refused to back down on principle, out of my own stubbornness, out of what I felt for her.

My walk back home had been silent, heavy and long as I walked back through Dauntless, nodding at a few soldiers. A guy from Karl's squad, one of his friends, looking worn out and run down. They nodded out of sheer politeness, and I'd nodded back. I returned home to silence, to Everly reading something on the far end of the couch, and I'd decided to go straight to bed.

Sleep came easily; I was tired from the day, but more from the unease between us. It was another example of how she affected me. How easily my world had morphed to include her, and how powerless I was to stop it.

But I could try.

I force my eyes shut, and the next time I open them, she's climbing into bed. There's no hesitation on her part, only a carefulness to not wake me up. She gingerly pushes the heavy comforter back, then slides right beneath the sheets. There is only a moment of consideration of where she wants to sleep, but ultimately, she chooses against me.

She faces me, and I feel her work her way closer to my chest. She'd long claimed the space beside me as her own, letting me know she was warmest against me, and safest. In the dark, it was easy to imagine all the things hanging over our heads or slinking around the corners. It was easy to conjure up the nightmarish scenarios that the mind liked to bring up and draw out when I had slept alone.

But it was different with her beside me.

I reach for her without thinking, not wanting the physical space to imitate the emotional space. I grab her, yanking her forward, until I can encircle my arms around her. She makes the tiniest sound of something, and I tighten my grip on her. My eyes never open, but I can feel her, warm and soft and small and familiar.

I fall back asleep, only to dream of being unable to find her.

 

 

The next few days pass by exactly the same way.

They are long, filled with people coming in and out of my office, all needing something. I handle them as quickly as they come in, with little interest and zero patience. I go home at night to Everly, though it's impossible to do anything other than look at her. She looks like my wife, my Everly, staring up at me with something close to frowning or blinking. Her hair is the same. Her entire presence is the same.

But she avoids me the same way I'm avoiding her. Our dinners are quiet, near silent, and we give each other the space the other asks for. I don't have it in me to argue with her, and she doesn't appear to have it in her to try and get her way.

Instead, I ask her anything and everything to keep her busy. Her frustration grows, her questions constantly pushed aside as I choose to focus on other things. Her work. Her class. What she had for lunch. She gets the hint; I could talk to her, but I won't. Not about this. My authority here is what goes, and she has to understand that.

There are things I want to tell her. I want to hiss at her to stop this. Stop being upset over him, over a life she never wanted, over a person who couldn't be bothered to believe in her. I want to snarl at her that I had given her the chance she wanted. The chance she deserved. I had risked everything for her, putting myself on the line, over an initiate who most had laughed at when she showed up. I wanted to scream at her that I got it. That Landon had existed before me, and she didn't like how I'd handled him, but there was nothing different to be done about it now.

Instead, I force all that down. I keep my distance, unwilling to shake things any more than they already are, until there is sanctuary in silence.

It is familiar.

I feel it wash over me, dredged up from years ago. It feels easy and comfortable, an existence I can't forget.

She seems to get that, too.

Rather than try and trick me with her pretty nightgowns and her arms looped around my neck, Everly slips away, only appearing at night to curl herself into me when she thinks I'm asleep.

I'm not.

But I let her think I am, because it's then that she's close by, and I can pretend things are fine. I reach for her, her small self crushed against my chest and her hair in my face. It's only then when the silence isn't fine. It amplifies the sound of her heart beating, every inhale and exhale, every small sigh as she falls asleep.

I fall asleep as well, one of my hands grasping tightly onto her hair.

 

 

Eventually, she decides she's had enough of the silence. It's become deafening to her, and Everly Coulter does her best to fix the situation.

Rather than the relief that should come with her words, I see red. Her wording is careful and delicate, meant to not enrage me, but it does. It sounds like a cleverly disguised protest that Landon should still be alive, and her wide eyes don't make it any better.

They swim with all kinds of things I can't figure out, but I label them all as regret.

"Are you joking me?" I snarl at her, watching her do her best to not flinch under my unwavering stare. "What did you want me to do with him, Everly? Bring him back here to hang around Dauntless until he could be put on trial?"

She shakes her head.

She'd cornered me the second I walked in the door. I should have given in to her hugging me, her arms thrown around me and her head resting on my chest, but it had lasted mere seconds. She broke away, telling me she needed to talk, and I knew where it was going.

To my surprise, it is all about me.

How she had never seen this Eric before. How my reaction was far more violent than she expected, and how caught off guard she had been. How I could have done this differently, and how there were other ways to handle him.

At least, I think this is what I hear.

Once she says Landon, the name slipping past her lips so easily, my pulse increases. There is a pounding in my ears that sounds a lot like his name, over and over until I might go mad. I stare at her, watching her shrink just a bit as she tries to defend her words, and she soon realizes this isn't going the way she thought it would.

"No, I didn't want him hanging around Dauntless. I just didn't imagine you'd kill him." She keeps her tone neutral, but she struggles when her eyes meet mine. "I'm a little surprised, that's all. I think your reaction was a little extreme."

"A little extreme?" I bite down hard, hard enough that my teeth hit together painfully. "Finding out my wife was in bed with her ex-lover while I thought she was dead might make me feel a little extreme." I pause, and the pounding of my own blood is suddenly a roar. A nauseating roar as that image pops into my head. "Is there something you want to tell me? Something I should be aware of?"

My words are nasty. They are riddled with every insecurity I'd ever felt, which were few. But they are painful, scraped up from the inside and brought forth the moment Landon taunted me.

The look on Everly's face doesn't help.

"I wasn't in bed with Landon like that. I wasn't even aware of where I was. He took me there without me knowing," She answers immediately, keeping her eyes on mine. She looks hurt that I'd even ask, but I can't shake my words any more than I can the idea that she might not even remember it.

"And yet you never thought to bring it up to me?"

Her gaze wavers.

This is a very sore point for me. Had she told me, even weeks after her return, I wouldn't have cared. I would have been furious that he'd have tried something, but it would have been on him. Not her. I had only cared that she was alive, and that things between us would remain the same. Had she told me he'd brought her there I would have done the same, but maybe she'd have understood why. Now his words have twisted everything until it feels like a lie I'd walked right into.

"I didn't even really remember it. I had no idea why I was with him, and I left immediately. All I wanted was you." She says the words frantically, stepping closer to me. "I didn't even remember you, and yet all I did was think about how to get back to you.".

"You still could have told me," I snap, but the pounding subsides slightly. There's a hope to what she's saying, but I'm not convinced things will just fall back into place so easily.

"But Eric, you can't just kill anyone who so much as takes a step toward me," Everly insists, and I stare down at her. "Landon wouldn't have done anything."

She must have hit her head at some point today.

I have the very vivid image of him lunging for her, and his intent was only to harm her.

"Bullshit."

"Eric…" She pulls her shoulders back, and the world swings back to him. She still didn't think he'd hurt her. Which meant she knew what he felt for her. Which meant there was a chance…a chance he hadn't been lying or worse.

The pounding becomes unbearable. Had I not been caught off guard, I might have been able to deal with this. But blindsiding me with an argument that centered around how I should have handled a known criminal wasn't the way to change my mind.

"I need to get out of here." I hold my hands up at her, and I shake my head. "We're done discussing this."

"Eric, no!" She yelps my name, and she looks panicked. "I just… that's not the way you should have handled it."

I can only stare. Her words are officially ridiculous. I may have called her Amity, but I'd never once associated her with the faction. I'd chosen to look at her strength, how smart she was, how kind she was.

But in this moment, I see nothing but a young girl from a faction who doesn't know anything other than pretending things are fine. I cannot, and will not, overlook the man who helped with her kidnapping. Not after nearly losing my mind over the loss of her. She would learn, whether from me or someone else, that this was not how we did things around here. Landon had committed a crime, and he would have paid the price one way or another

"This isn't Amity," I stare right at her, making sure my tone carries my disgust at her wanting him to have lived. "This is how Dauntless deals with people like him."

She shakes her head. "That's not true. That might have been how you would have handled him, but…"

For the first time since she's come into my life, I find myself unable to control the tone of my voice. It rises up, bordering on yelling at her as I come to the very end of my patience. "You're wrong. If you think for one second that I'd let him anywhere near Dauntless, anywhere near you after he threatened you, then you have lost your mind. He was an asshole who tried to hurt you, and if you keep telling me he wasn't, then we're gonna have a problem. I should have killed him the first time he opened his damned mouth."

She blinks, surprise all over her face, and I shove past her. I knock her hands away, and I don't look back.

Not when she calls my name, not when her voice wavers as the door slams shut.

I storm out of my own apartment, down a dark hallway, and I feel nothing but absolute rage.

 

 

I find myself in Clyde's.

I sit at the bar, alone, ignoring the insufferable look coming from the woman working. She's our normal waitress, but today she's alone, and she's less than happy to help me.

I'm less than happy to be here, let alone see her, but I don't have anywhere else to be. The thought of going back home hurts my head, and the thought of listening to Everly talk about how I should have handled Landon is just as bad. I like that she's become an expert in her short time here, and her words are even more insulting considering they defend him.

Landon.

I think of this while I swallow down the first drink. It's heavy and bitter, fitting for my mood. I slide the empty glass back at Lucy, and she blinks at my impatience.

"I'm working alone. Give me a minute." She quips, entering orders onto the computer screen at an impressive rate. I nod, and because misery loves company, I give her the benefit of the doubt. I wait patiently, not really in the mood to get shit faced, but needing something to dull the storm brewing in my head.

It's all unfortunately familiar. All the goodness that had been in my life, sucked away by a few words. I wonder why she was so defensive of him. Why she was so upset, why she really thought he wouldn't hurt her? In this moment, having a wife who's all of nineteen suddenly seems like the most idiotic decision in the world. I'd often thought she was wise far beyond her years. She was smart enough to figure out Landon didn't like her for who she is and got out when she could. She was mature enough to handle my training, never giving in to the immature pressures and outlets the other initiates favored. She'd proven to be the only person capable of putting up with me, never wavering in her desire to get to know me.

But now, she was pissed off over something that could have ended in her demise.

She was naïve enough to think he wouldn't have hurt her.

I'm not sure what she thought he was doing when he shoved her. Pushing her out of the way to get to me? Reaching for her to hold her hand? Lunging to grab her and hug her one final time?

I knew exactly what Landon was doing, because I had been that person. I had been ruled by anger, letting it overtake everything around me. I knew exactly what he felt. I knew why he felt it. In that moment, his rage wasn't directed at me, it was at her. It was the unfairness of watching her slip through his fingers a second time, and knowing she was happy. He'd thought he knew better than her, and he had seen he didn't.

She wasn't the same Everly who had left Amity, and he'd lost both versions of her.

I was aware of the sting that brought.

"Here." Lucy slides another drink at me, and I realize I have no clue how many I've had. My head feels a little woozy when I lift it up, and I realize she's given me ice water to drink. "You might want to eat something, too." I'm stunned at her kindness, but she keeps talking. "I'm not cleaning it up if you throw up. You can do it yourself."

"Fuck off." I down the ice water, but I decide she's right. I wave her over again, ignoring her scowl and narrowed eyes. "Put it on my tab."

"Fine." She answers shortly, and she turns on her heel. "Anything else tonight?"

"No." I shake my head. I've decided I'll head home, make dinner, and not let this bother me one more time. Eventually, I will talk with Everly. She and I will have to come to an understanding, but it won't be tonight. "You've been far too kind."

My last words are complete and total mockery, and she knows it.

She flips me off, and I decide I'll take it off her tip.

 

 

I return home to silence.

It's become a familiar feeling, so I welcome it. I toss my jacket on the counter, and I head into the kitchen to figure out what to make. My immediate thoughts are something that Everly likes. I shake my head to clear those thoughts, deciding to make something she hates. I find myself setting things down with far more force than necessary, slamming down a pan hard enough that I swear the stove cracks.

I chop things angrily, neatly avoiding my fingers but slicing vegetables without looking. I eventually decide on a compromise. I make something she'll sort of like, but I feel pissed off the entire time. I dump the noodles into the pot, watching them wilt in the scalding water.

"Fuck."

I take a step away from the stove, lacing my fingers behind my head and staring at the boiling mess. It threatens to bubble over, spilling onto the stove with nothing to stop it.

I suddenly realize I have no clue what to do.

I have no clue what I want to do.

I know what I want –my wife, to realize everything I did was to make sure she stayed alive, but that wouldn't happen. She'd made it clear she didn't like how I handled things, and I'd made it clear I didn't like her thinking that.

Which left us here, existing together, yet apart.

I contemplate this while I resume cooking. The actions are soothing; repetitive and mindless, and before I know it, I'm almost done. I still have no idea where Everly is, but I get some satisfaction knowing she'll return home to a dinner I've made, while she's been off, still upset over her ex-boyfriend. This pettiness brings me a sliver of joy, and I enjoy it, until my phone rings.

The number is not saved in my phone, but I know who it is.

I let it ring for a few minutes before I hit decline.

There is no reason Four should be calling me, especially now. I smirk as my phone fades to black, and I'm sure Four is used to the rejection of people declining his phone calls. I laugh to myself, but I stop, as something smacks me in the face.

He wouldn't call without good reason.

Four and I certainly weren't on fantastic terms, not even with Everly being his friend. Him calling could only mean a few things. He was worried about something in the training class, he was worried I'd done something to his keycards, or it was possible he'd heard about Landon.

That thought pricks at the back of my neck, forcing me to look at my phone as it starts to ring again. Maybe he'd been contacted by Evelyn. There was a chance the news about Landon's death had gotten back to her, and now, the game was really on. She could be trying to retaliate, out for blood since we'd killed one of her trusted sidekicks.

I reach for my phone as it lights up, and this time, I answer it.

I soon discover I'm right and I'm wrong. I'm right that it is Four, and he has heard about Landon. But I'm wrong thinking he's calling to tell me Evelyn has tried to contact him.

He's really calling to tell me Everly is with him, and my wife is sound asleep on his couch.


	45. The Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major thanks to Bamberlee for editing this chapter! 💕
> 
> Thanks to all who read and reviewed the last chapter, and to those who have been patiently waiting all day for this one 😉
> 
> Have a good weekend!!

"She's asleep."

I stare at my counter, at the food on the plates I'd just arranged, and I blink. I wasn't quite sure what I was hearing, but he'd repeated himself until I was sure I'd heard him correctly. I had answered his call the second time, but it wasn't what I expected.

"What? Why is she asleep?" I ask, keeping my tone low and irritated. If I spoke too loudly, there was a chance I'd spook him, and this was feeling like a trick. Like he might not give her back if I didn't give in to whatever the fuck he wanted. "Why is she sleeping at your apartment? Do you have something you want to tell me, Four?"

His sigh is both irritated and expected.

"Eric, I get how this sounds. But she just…showed up and needed someone to talk to. When I stepped away to answer a few questions from someone working up in the control room, I turned around and she was asleep. I said her name a few times, but she didn't move."

If I wasn't so pissed off, I'd laugh in his face. I'd learned the hard way she rarely woke up just by saying her name. But I am pissed off, and I focus on something else he's said.

"She wanted to talk to you?"

His second exhale is only exasperation. "Yes, me. She came here all upset because…. because…" He pauses, and I impatiently wait for him to finish his sentence. "She told me about the argument you guys are in. She explained what happened with Landon and why she was upset."

My gaze snaps to Everly's plate, and I'm about to launch it at the wall.

Four.

Of all the people in this faction, she went to talk to him.

The person who wouldn't know his way around a relationship if someone wrote the instructions on his arm.

"Listen here, Four…" I say his name as nastily as possible, but he bravely interrupts me.

"Eric, I'm on your side here. I told her I wouldn't have expected anything less. Not from a soldier, not from you, not from me."

"You conniving asshole." I snarl, but he says my name darkly.

"Are you even listening to me? Stop for half a second. I'm not the enemy here." He snaps the words, and I glare at the untouched plates as both of our frustration reaches a whole new level. "I get it. You're mad. And for once," he pauses again, and I can hear how hard it is for him to say the next words. "I agree with you. Landon deserved everything he got. I tried to explain that to her. I don't think she understood the threat he was."

I fall silent.

I turn away from our dinner to stare at my couch, the large TV mounted to the wall, and the bookshelves, crammed with books. Everly's books, neatly lined up in the order I'd given them to her. The same lettering on the spines as the one in Eden's living room.

"She's never seen anything like that. You killed him in front of her and mixed in with the fact that she knew him, it probably seemed like too much."

"No," I snap, and I've had my fill of him. "You have no idea who he was or what he'd done. I don't care what she told you. She shouldn't have-"

"Do you listen when people talk? Everly was worried you'd get in trouble. She was worried you acted without thinking and would have to explain what you'd done. I told her I would have done the same thing. If she were Tris…"

He stops and there is silence on the other end of the line and I can feel the tension through the phone. It's not just Everly falling asleep in his apartment and him having to call me, it's the thought of his precious girlfriend in the same predicament. It's that his mother's involvement is behind all this. That because of everything going on, he's had to defend me and he has her to thank.

"Just…don't hold it against her for coming here. I got the impression she didn't want this all over the faction, and I was the best option she had. Tris was working and Christina isn't capable of being quiet."

He sounds mildly defeated, well aware that his own friendship was nothing to write home about.

"Do you want me to let her sleep? Or do you want to come get her? I'm fine either way, but I told Tris I'd meet up with her. But if you want her to stay here-"

"No, I'll come get her." I interrupt, and there is an odd struggle to stay furious at him. "I can wake her up when I get there. I'll see you in a minute."

I hang up before he can say anything, and I lean back against the edge of the counter, crossing my arms over my chest. I let this roll around in my head, the idea that Everly went to see him to tell him what I'd done, only to be told Four would have done the same. I wonder if that was surprising to her. To hear that he would have killed Landon or anyone who was a threat in a similar manner. There's an odd inkling of comradery at the idea that he'd shot down her brilliant plan for Landon to have stayed alive. I like that he agreed with me, that he wouldn't have hesitated to kill someone attacking Tris.

I should feel smug.

I want to feel smug. Four had sided with me, both surprising and shocking for more than a few reasons, but it also validated everything I'd told Everly. She didn't like hearing it from me, but maybe coming from him it would make sense. For some reason, she liked working with Four and they seemed to have a good relationship. Despite his mother being behind her kidnapping, she seemed to hold a speck of respect for him, enough that she felt comfortable telling him what had happened.

That alone should be an insult to me, except, today…it's not.

I scowl as I head toward his apartment, taking the stairs two at a time, and trying to snarl his name in my mind. There is comfort in feeling pissed off, and a familiarity in disliking him. It's an easy thing to dredge up; a long rivalry that was slowly starting to serve less and less purpose for me. I held onto it, because it gave me the superiority I wanted. I held it over him, dangling the fractured relationship with his mother right over his head, smirking when his face told me he was struggling just as much as I wanted him to be.

But this, this was something else. Everly had gone to him. I should be livid she'd chosen to talk about our relationship with someone else. Furious she'd involved him, giving him personal details over what had happened. The thought of Four, knowing something about my private life, something that had happened between myself and the one person I'd let get close to me, was enough to make me scream.

This really should be it for me. Even with Four's defense that my actions were appropriate and not at all outrageous, I should be done with her. Never in my life would I allow someone to act like this, especially with Four. She knew that I had chosen very specific aspects of our relationship to be public, and this was not one of them.

But I wasn't as enraged as I'd thought.

Four had been rather respectful. He'd been polite, informing me I was correct in what I'd done, and he'd been blunt with Everly. To my surprise, he hadn't used this as his chance to gloat that I was the monster he'd warned her about. He hadn't even spoken poorly of me, hinting I was too violent or I could have detained Landon in some other way. This had been the moment he should have been waiting for. The one when he crowed how terrible I was. How she'd be next, the next argument we had could wind up with her at the bottom of the chasm or thrown from a train.

Instead, he had sided with me, then let Everly sleep on his couch.

I rub my hand over my face, because I couldn't overlook this.

I wanted to.

I wanted to grab Everly, head home, and pretend he didn't exist. That would do nothing, sure. Everly and I would still be in the same argument, and Four would be aware of every moment things weren't right. Tris would hear about it. Eventually, it would rise up again, now with more people involved.

I distracted myself by wondering if something else was going on. I focus on Everly sleeping, how tired she must have been to fall asleep in his lair. While I knew she liked to sleep, there wasn't a great reason why she wasn't able to stay awake past dinner. From what I knew, she'd been just fine at night. I'd woken up to her next to me every single night since our fight, and she was most definitely not awake.

Just like our argument, I had no real answer to that either.

I reach Four's door sooner than expected, and with great reluctance I knock on it.

 

 

"She's been asleep for a half hour now."

Four had opened his door with the same reluctance with which I'd knocked on it. He eyed me warily, taking in my sharp posture and unimpressed stare. I had never been to his apartment before, but I knew where he lived. It wasn't hard to find despite being tucked away from the rest of the compound. It was clear he liked his privacy, and there was a fleeting moment of appreciation for that. I could understand the need to get away from the pulsing loudness of Dauntless, though I'd never tell him that.

Instead, I push past him and throw a few critical glances around the space.

Of course, I see Everly first. Even in the large space she is hard to miss. She is curled up on his couch, her dark hair everywhere, completely dead to the world. I am mildly impressed at her ability to fall asleep anywhere, but I am unimpressed that she'd exercise this ability at Four's.

I skim the rest of his apartment, bland and unappealing, and I turn back to find him watching me. He doesn't look comfortable with me in here, but that's not unexpected.

"Is she alright? Does she often just…fall asleep?" He questions me like he has the right to, and I glare at him.

"She's fine." I answer him sharply, not wanting to admit she was probably tired from staying up and wallowing in her sad thoughts over Landon. That would have felt good to say, but I don't need to. It's probably all over my face, because Four shakes his head.

"Don't take this out on her." He steps closer to me, and he looks right at me. "She was worried you'd get in trouble. She had no idea he was going to hurt her. I think she thought…she didn't believe he'd ever try anything with her."

"He kidnapped her." I hiss, and I step closer. I was right. This was a trick. He was going to keep her here until I gave in. "He took her to Amity, knowing full well she'd been taken from me."

My words are dark, but Four simply nods.

"I know. He would have hurt her. It would have been her life that he wanted. But she didn't get that, because she's far more trusting than you or me." He shakes his head and his eyes flick over to her. "He knew what she meant to you and what you mean to her. He had nothing to lose by going after her. You both have everything to lose."

"How deep, Four. Really. I'm touched."

I glare at him and he glares right back.

"Stay mad then. It's not my business. I just called to tell you she was here and she'd fallen asleep." He pauses, crossing his arms over his chest. "You know what? Actually, this is my business. She showed up here because you wouldn't listen to her."

"Would you have wanted to hear about this? Say it was Tris…" I smirk when he swallows, the idea visibly uncomfortable for him. "I thought so. It'll be over soon. Once she realizes she's wrong in telling me how to do my job."

"Well…" Four looks down at her, and he frowns. "I can understand your thinking in that aspect. She should have expected the outcome after he attacked her."

"Good." I step toward the couch as he steps away. In front of me, Everly is sleeping. I bend down, and she stirs ever so slightly. "Then I'm not sure what the issue is."

On my words, her eyes open, blinking a few times as she slowly wakes up. I watch her squint at me like she's not entirely sure I'm right in front of her, but I am. Called down here by Four to take her home while I cooked her dinner.

She blinks again, taking a thousand years to actually wake up.

Her eyes finally focus on me, and they widen in surprise.

"Are you about done here, Amity?"

"Hi, Eric," She sits up suddenly, pushing her hair out of the way and smiling. She's still half asleep, her eyes warm and tired, and she glances around frantically. Her eyes take in the apartment, not the one we share, and the recognition of where she is is slow and panic filled. "I... uh… fell asleep."

"I see that," I answer shortly. Looking down at her, she looks smaller than ever, and guiltier than ever. "The Stiff called and said you were here."

"Oh." She looks around, her eyes searching for something until they land on Four. One swift glimpse in his direction shows him standing there, watching both of us. The look on his face has changed to concern, mirroring the one he threw out every time we walked by during Everly's training. It's slightly different now. He's not looking for bruises or evidence that I'd hurt her, he's looking for something else. A sign that this will end up alright for everyone involved. Understanding, on both our parts.

He won't get it.

The sight of her is infuriating all over again. She'd come here, seeking out justification over her concerns, and I'd been called down to come fetch her.

"I tried, but you didn't seem to want to wake up. I figured you'd want to go home," Four informs her. He sounds uncomfortable all over again, and he looks at me out of the corner of his eye.

I only look at Everly.

The way she looks exhausted, sleep still pulling at her, coaxing her to lie back down. I decide we've been here long enough, and the sooner we return home, the better.

"Come on, Amity. Dinner's waiting."

I reach for her, and she immediately slides her fingers between mine. I tighten my grip as she carefully stands up, and I'm still irritated. She looks over at Four, waiting to see what happens next.

"Sorry, Four," She flashes him a smile, apologetic as ever. "Tell Tris I'll see her soon. I hope you guys have a fun night."

Four manages to smile back at her, and it's obvious he has plans tonight. He was kind enough to offer to let her sleep, but there's a relief to his grin.

"Thanks, Everly." Four nods at her, and he follows us when I pull her along. I'm sure he'll be relieved to have the both of us gone, but something nags at me. Something heavy, like I'm missing a part of the picture. I stop in the doorway, looking back and over Everly's head to where he's standing.

His expression is funny; concerned isn't the right word, though it's there. It's more like anticipation mixed with understanding.

His stare meets mine, and where he'd normally be glaring at me like I was about to take Everly home and murder her, he instead looks oddly relieved.

Which doesn't feel good, but it doesn't feel as bad as I would expect.

"Thanks."

I bark the word at him, watching his face change to surprise. I'd never thanked him for anything, never had any reason to. But it's no longer unspoken, and he better appreciate my kind word.

He nods his head, and Everly waves when we head out through the door. It slams loudly, echoing in the large hallway. Everly's fingers tighten on mine, and she looks up at me.

"Four, of all people," I stare at her, and she squeezes my hand tightly. "Why on Earth would you go to see Four?"

"He's my friend, Eric. Just like Tris and Christina," she answers immediately, looking ready for a fight. She's not about to back down on this, but I wasn't going to fight her on it. If she wanted to go cry to Four about how mean I was to her ex-boyfriend, then let her. He'd been on my side, and while I wouldn't usually gloat over Four agreeing with me, it was all I had in this moment.

And besides, he wasn't exactly a stellar friend. If she wanted to associate with him, I'd let her learn that on her own time.

"Okay." I shrug, heading toward the elevator. She follows along, her eyes wide in surprise.

"Okay?" She repeats, and her voice is confused.

"But no more sleepovers, Amity," I announce, and I mean it. I don't care if she falls asleep on my couch every single night but spreading our business to Four was going to stop right now.

"Eric…" She says my name, and I'm well aware she wants to talk. I can feel it radiating off her, the need to discuss what she and Four had talked about, but I'm done. I don't want to talk about Four anymore, nor do I want to hear the name Landon ever again.

"Later," I dismiss her, and I shake my head. "Dinner's ready."

"Okay." Her answer is quiet, but her fingers stay tight on mine.

 

 

Turns out, my night will not get any better.

Four calling me must have been an omen, because nothing goes right. Our dinner is cold by the time we return home, and our walk had been silent. I didn't really look at Everly, because I knew what I would see. The same wounded look thrown back at me, along with the desire for me to just be okay with what she thought was right.

We sat down at the kitchen table after I'd reheated the dinner, and I watched her pick at her food. She seemed like the Everly who first arrived here: exhausted, cold, and with no appetite. I watch her push the noodles around on her plate, looking up at me every so often. Her expression told me she was waiting for me to say something. Not long ago, I would have barked at her to eat, but now, I don't. I let her sit there, until she brings up Four.

Again.

"Four really called you?"

"I was in the middle of making dinner when the Stiff called. Said my wife had fallen asleep on his couch." I raise my eyebrow at her, and she frowns. "Perhaps you really do have narcolepsy, because I can't imagine anyone wanting to sleep over at Four's."

"I didn't mean to fall asleep. I just haven't been sleeping very well this week." She rubs at her eyes for a moment, and I have to admit she doesn't look very good right now. She looks absolutely worn out, and there's a heavy guilt when I realize she hadn't been sleeping as well as I'd thought she had. I'd assumed she was fine; she was content with her decision to defend Landon, and she hadn't been losing sleep over it.

But I was wrong.

I dismiss it immediately.

I gesture at her plate, and scowl when her fork seems to weigh a ton. She eats a single bite, then sets it back down. Her shoulders bow inward as she stares at her food, and I would bet five million points she'd fall back asleep if she laid her head down.

The silence between us is heavy. It hangs over us, reminiscent of Clyde's and ten thousand times worse. Eventually, she looks up at me, and takes another bite of her food. "This is weird."

"That you decided to sleep at Four's? Yeah, that is weird," I retort, and I lean back in my own chair. "I don't understand how he got you to go there in the first place."

"That's not what I meant," Everly answers back immediately, and her tone is laced with rare irritation. She's crankier than ever, and she shakes her head while she chews her food angrily. "And it was my idea to go over there, not his."

I roll my eyes at her. Apparently, she didn't like being called out on heading to my worst enemy's apartment. "You sound awfully irritable for someone who took a nap."

She raises her stare to me, and it's as lethal as I trained her to be.

Too bad I ignore her.

I eat my dinner in silence, watching her pretend she's actually eating. Her act is as phony as my appreciation for Four calling me, and she knows it. The longer I sit here watching her, the more disgruntled I feel. It was one thing for her to be mad at me, but another for her to involve him. She knew about the bad blood between us, and now, even though he'd called me and agreed with what I'd done, he knew about this argument between us.

I'd never get rid of him now.

"Eric, we should talk about Landon now." She drags her fork through the noodles, and she does her best not to sound defeated. "I just think…"

"No," I snarl at her, and I shove my chair back. The word Landon is like a bomb just waiting to go off, and every time she says it, the fuse grows shorter and shorter. "I don't want to hear about you and Landon. I don't want to discuss your time in Amity with him."

Her face falls at the implication of what I'm saying. "It wasn't like that."

I shrug, looking past her. I'd normally give in at this point. I was used to her getting her way, eventually wearing me down or tricking me because I liked her.

But I wasn't backing down this time. I had no reason to.

"Eric, you can't just be angry at me for something I didn't do and then not give me a chance to explain. Are you planning to be mad at me forever?" She stares at me, and her face blurs before my eyes.

"Maybe." I throw out, and I decide I'm done sitting here. I'm no longer hungry, and this wasn't how I planned on spending my evening. I would never want to hear what happened at the lowest time of my life. Even thinking about it makes me ill. I stand up, and I glance down at her, sitting there.

I feel nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

Just a heavy anger that keeps spreading through my body with every passing second. I take off, deciding I'll go to bed. I'm halfway there, when she decides she'd like to keep arguing this evening.

"You're being really unfair," Everly announces, and I come to a halt.

I turn to look at her, her expression pained and irritated and it only makes me even angrier. "Oh, I'm being unfair. I don't remember keeping information from you."

She drops her fork onto her plate, and the noise is loud in the apartment. "Oh, now that's funny. I must have forgotten about the day I signed myself up to be in your leadership program. Or the day you proposed."

She all but spits the words at me, and there's a flash of heat as I realize her words sting.

They are sort of truthful, but my reasoning for what I'd done was complicated. I tried to tell her over and over again, but she must have forgotten that I'd decided to marry her so she could stay alive. That I had been in love with her, so painfully and stupidly and utterly ridiculously in love with her, that I would have done anything to keep her safe.

And I had.

"Enough."

My words are snarled at her, but she keeps going.

"You didn't even tell me we were married! You just let me find out!" She manages to sound insulted, as though being married to me was the worst thing that had ever happened to her. The ironic part was, she'd spent her entire time here trying to get close to me. I wasn't blind to her sliding onto my lap, wearing things that were soft and slinky, while she clung to me and blinked up at me. I hadn't missed the part where she'd slept against me, or the moment when she'd asked me to look out for her, or the times where she had told me she loved me, in every single way.

I hadn't forgotten any of this, but she clearly had.

The burn is overwhelming.

"I certainly didn't hear you complaining the night you found out."

It's not what I meant to throw at her, but it's what comes out. It's a pointed reminder that the only way I could tell her how I felt was when I was in bed with her. That I'd given her everything, more than I could give anyone else, and it clearly wasn't what she wanted. It wasn't enough, and she would use it against me.

Her cheeks turn red, and she shakes her head. "That's not what we are talking about right now. Eric can you just listen to me? Then we can end this and go to bed." She throws me one tired, hopeful look, like this will all go away because she's suggested it will.

It won't.

I can feel her words wrap themselves around my throat, tighter and tighter until it becomes hard to swallow.

I stare at her, everything in my stomach burning, and I turn away.

I go to sleep.

The room is in total darkness, and I let it wash over me. It seems to soothe the aching rage in my chest, just begging to lash out. I want to smash everything in here. I want to hurl her things out of my room; the endless amount of dresses hung next to mine. Her shoes, her hairbrush. The jacket that matches mine. The soft clothes, pressed neatly into my drawers, the light colors blushing against my dark shirts.

I want to punch my fist through the wall, but I realize that will accomplish nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

So, I go to bed.

I brush my teeth, I throw my clothes on the floor for Carol to pick up, and I climb into bed. I turn away from where she sleeps, feeling absolutely no satisfaction in doing so. My head is just as heavy as the rage I feel, and my eyes shut as though I'm the one who hasn't been sleeping. I fall asleep before she can come in here, and the darkness is the only comfort I have.

 

 

My body betrays me in every way possible.

At some point, Everly comes to bed.

I awake in the morning, wrapped around her, like even in sleep I was unable to stay away. It's downright rotten; my leg is thrown over her, and my arm is around her waist. My cheek is pressed against her hair, and the feeling of this is hard to swallow. Her frame feels too slight against me, and the urge to stay here, simply holding her, is impossible to fend off.

I shove myself away from her immediately.

I leave her in bed, not bothering to look back at her, because I will cave in. I will shove myself right behind her, wrapping my arms back around her and crushing her to me.

Instead, I step into a dark shower, and I refuse to think of her for one second longer.

 

 

I make coffee while squinting at the bottles shoved into the cabinet.

My apartment had always been meticulous. Members had the option of splurging and having someone come and clean up after them in order to keep our faction clean. Living underground was filthy, and I'd immediately signed up to have someone make sure my home stayed clean. I had no interest in living in dirt or filth, but no time to do it myself.

So, I'd hired Carol.

Carol had always done a great job. She was a long-time member here, not ready to retire but not wanting to be an active duty soldier. She worked mostly with the higher-level members, and she and I seemed to share the same definition of clean.

Except for today.

There had been a note that she'd been here a day ago, and she'd found a few things while cleaning that she wasn't sure what to do with. She'd placed the oddly tinted glasses into my kitchen cabinets, along with the vials that accompanied them. I immediately assumed they were part of the gift Eden had given us. A few were labeled, though questionably; something to help with fertility and nausea, something to help with mental clarity, and something to help with physical stamina.

At first, I had dismissed them all. They conjured up the idea of murky, weird potions that would dissolve my spleen a second after being consumed. But upon further inspection, I realize they are clear. Slippery looking. An awful lot like the serums I'd watched Jeanine formulate. I open one, realizing that stamina wasn't the sexual innuendo I was thinking it was, but something else entirely. I read the ingredients listed on it, and I pull out my phone and send them to Daniel. I don't know anyone else who'd even have a clue what I was talking about, and short of calling Eden myself –a laughable idea considering it was doubtful she had a phone, I had no one else I could ask.

His response is immediate.

He must be sitting at his desk, because he responds quickly, his messages popping up one after the other. He says he recognizes a few: Ashwagandha, Raspberry, Glutamine, MCT Oil. He informs me while they have no document testing to support the theory, they could possibly be beneficial to someone undergoing a rigorous physical training.

The others are old wives' tales to help with morning sickness. Something to stop vomiting, and something to help wake you up. I idly wonder if this was the one Everly had taken back in Amity, but she'd told me whatever she'd taken hadn't worked.

I place the vial back in the cabinet, not really sure what to do with it. I highly doubt Everly would want to drink any of these, and I wasn't up for the challenge of being poisoned. Throwing them away felt mildly rude, not that Eden would ever know.

I shove them back further, until my fingers touch something. I pull the paper out from behind the glasses, and I stare at it.

It's from her mother.

It's only addressed to Everly, but I pull it out of the envelope, skimming it quickly. Her mother's handwriting is hard to read; it's not the neat, clean handwriting of Erudite, but the letter is clear and concise and far more cohesive than I would have imagined coming from Amity.

In it, her mother cheerfully tells her to continue taking the stamina one. She promises it'll help her here, especially with working out. She goes on to say she's removed a few things from it, and in the event Everly and I do decide to have a child, it'll help. I blink, because she's essentially confessing that whatever she'd given Everly hadn't been a fertility drink at all.

I raise my eyebrow, wondering if it had been the exact opposite.

Maybe Eden had been looking out for her this whole time. Maybe she'd been drinking something that would keep her from getting pregnant long before I'd met her. Because Everly had shown up in Dauntless, and I'd slept with her not long after. I hadn't bothered to wonder if she were on any sort of birth control. Even then, I had been too caught up in wanting her to even think that I could have gotten her pregnant. She'd only received a birth control shot at Arlene's insistence, more out of fear that I'd fuck myself over by knocking Everly up before she could actually stay here.

I squint at the end of the letter, where Eden tells her she loves her, and to come visit as soon as she can.

My phone buzzes again, and I realize Daniel is calling me.

I answer him while I shove the letter back into the envelope, and I stick it back in the cabinet. It's unlikely Everly wanted me to read it, or find these vials of Eden's magic, so I decide not to bring it up.

I grab my plain coffee from the counter, and I head into work, listening to a worked up Daniel explain to me that it was highly impossible to make such a supplement in Amity that would actually work.

I listen to him rant, years of Erudite education firing in his brain and it's a pleasant distraction as I stomp into work.

 

 

Max drags me down to the fear landscapes.

There's no real reason I need to be there. He's more than enough authority, but I suppose there's an impressiveness in numbers. I head down with him, having zero desire to see the initiates claw their way through their worst fears, and even less of a desire to see Four and Everly.

I hadn't spoken to her all day.

I'd spent my morning working, only stopping when Max showed up to insist I accompany him. I told him to bring Jason or Rylan, hell even Harrison could go in my place, but Max had shaken his head. I'd given in, and we'd walked downstairs while discussing Evelyn. He was oddly optimistic in this moment, but his no-news-is-good-news attitude grated on my nerves.

My irritation worsens as we near the class.

I had little interest in them.

Other than Everly training them, I hadn't paid much attention to who was actually in the class. I had skimmed through her notes, offering up some helpful suggestions and marks for those she might have questions about, but even she'd been oddly distant from the training packets. I saw her glance at them, frowning as she flipped through the stack while she and I ignored each other. I watched her count them, slender fingers sliding through the pages as she worked to pick out just who would stay here, and she frowned further when she had a small pile in one hand, and a tableful of rejects.

I knew what was coming.

I'd already brought this up to Max, that by dismissing a good chunk of those who came here, we were handing Evelyn an army. They'd be factionless; unable to return home and forced to find somewhere to live. When you thought of it this way, rather than accepting the highest-ranking initiates for prime positions, and utilizing the lower ranking initiates for menial jobs until they'd worked their way up, we were being stupid. Irresponsible.

He'd agreed.

He'd looked surprised, like he'd never once thought about what happened to those who didn't make it, but he promised to come back to the subject once the initiation neared its end.

Which would be soon.

"I think we've got a good group this year."

He talks while we walk, his voice serious and clear, and he gestures as we near the swarming crowd awaiting their fear landscapes.

"I suppose." I answer him without really answering him. I'm focused on the class. I look through them, finding Four waiting for Everly. She isn't there yet, and he looks at his watch with mild concern. Behind him, Tori and Harrison watch his every move, and Jason rolls his eyes when Four grows antsy.

"Go say hello. He looks a little lost without his assistant." I tell Max, and he snickers. "I'll be right back."

I split from Max before he can answer, and I find Rylan hanging on the outskirts of the room, papers in hand. He greets me by saluting mockingly, and the few initiates near us watch him with an impressed stare.

"Hey, we found him." He announces quietly, so quietly that the entire room can hear him. "We took care of it. You might owe Jason lunch because he was worried about the germs from the body, but lucky for him, I had gloves. Now you can rest easy, because Landon is no more. You can no longer be indicted for killing him because he isn't there. We had a moment of silence while we erased his entire existence, but it was interrupted when a bird flew at us."

"How fitting." I answer dryly, but I'm grateful that Rylan thought of this. "Thanks for going out there. I would have to have gone sooner or later."

Rylan grins. "It wasn't my favorite thing to do for you, but I figured if they did find you guilty for killing him, we'd have Four as our next elected leader and who wants that?"

I snicker, and my foul mood lifts slightly at the comical image of Four, attempting to manage the faction while still keeping an eye on Tris. "Eh, could be worse. He'd probably okay your days off. One. Maybe two. Every six years."

"Aw, did you two make up?" Rylan glares at me, and he looks at Four out of the corner of his eye. "Is he sweating? He looks sweaty, doesn't he? He is sweating."

"No, he looks fine. It's probably Max, two inches from his face, grilling him about the class." I watch Max hover over Four, having no real clue how to do the simulations himself, but pretending he does. I look back at Rylan, and his face is pure suspicion. "Calm down. Everly went to talk with Four last night. She told him all about what I did to Landon, and surprisingly, he told her he'd have done the same. I'm sure it pained him to agree with me, but he told her I had every right to kill Landon."

The look on Rylan's face is priceless.

"So now you have to be his friend, don't you? Moral obligation now that you're murder brothers."

"No," I shake my head. "He told Everly what she needed to hear. I'll give him that."

"And did it do anything? Because she just ran in here and she looks…" Rylan pauses, and tilts his head. "She looks awfully preoccupied."

I turn around, and he's right. We watch her show up in a panic, then scramble next to Four. She was late; not late enough that anyone would really care, but late enough that it was noticeable to her and Four. Lauren's class wasn't even here yet, but it's obvious Everly isn't thrilled with showing up after Max. She fidgets with her hair, then her sleeves, then apologizes as she looks up at them.

I watch them all talk, glossing over her arrival time, until Max looks at me, nodding slightly.

I nod back, knowing they're about to start.

"I'll catch you in a bit. Are you staying?"

"Only until I can sneak out. I'm meeting Christina before this afternoon. She said she wants to talk." He answers cheerfully, ignoring my eye roll.

"Must be something in the air." I mutter, and I wave him off. "I'll meet you later."

"Have fun, killer." Rylan calls out, and he slips away, further into the shadows as he plans his exit. I walk over to Four, Everly, and Max, and I stop just in time to hear Four ask where I am.

Everly blinks, and she looks completely caught off guard.

"I... uh… he…"

"You should have started six minutes ago." I helpfully point out that everyone is officially late for getting this show started. I eye them all at once - Everly looking oddly pale, Four looking oddly edgy, and Max looking delighted we were all here. "I don't have all day."

"We were just about to start," Four answers, ignoring my jab that I'm sure he was taking this personally. "We just have a few announcements to make and then we'll begin. You can stand over there." He points to the side of Max, and he must have lost his mind. But I give him the benefit of the doubt. He did call me to tell me about Everly, and for that, I won't kill him. I do step aside, but I also throw him a withering, nasty stare when he finally turns around.

"Good morning, Eric." Everly smiles up at me, and she's once again hopeful. I notice her eyes are dark, and she still looks tired. There's something different about her, perhaps the lack of sleep catching back up, or the burning pain of her dead ex-boyfriend eating her alive. "Are you excited to see the landscapes?"

I look around at the mass of initiates. There is no one extremely outstanding, and I sort of long for the days when something exciting happened during these classes. "No. Not really."

"Eric." Everly says my name lowly, and she tilts her head.

I know what that means.

"I don't think during your class's final fear landscapes is the time or place to discuss the sort of things you want to talk about. Shouldn't you be focused on your initiates?" I speak lowly, only to her. Despite being pissed off and furious over this argument, I'm not here to destroy her reputation in front of the class. All it would take were a few sharp words from me and the class would look at her differently.

"Yes. Thank you for your notes, by the way," Everly looks at me with a hint of a smile. I glance down at her, and I smirk back thinking of the shit I'd written. The classes scores were fine, but I'd gone through them with wild abandon, gleefully writing down whatever popped into my head.

It had been a nice distraction.

"You'd better go join Four." I tell her, and I watch her expression fall ever so slightly. I"I look forward to seeing your class. I know how hard you've worked."

"Thank you. I can't wait to see you later," She answers quickly, then smiles up at me, overly sweet considering the past few days. "Enjoy."

I nod. I turn to the burning stare of Lauren, hovering nearby as she waits to get started, and I decide to join Max. The sooner we get this started, the sooner we can leave.

I find him waiting for me, and he looks excited.

"This should be good."

"We'll see." I retort, and I watch the initiates grow nervous as the time passes. This is a big moment for them, and I'm sure quite a few have realized that all of us are watching. Not just Everly and Four.

There are some brave souls who don't look nervous at all, and they are the ones who look over at me. I cross my arms over my chest while I watch Four instruct a few of them to line up, and he calls out the first name loud enough it echoes around the large room.

Beside him, Everly catches my stare, her eyes green and wide and hopeful.

 

 

Four spends a lot of the time looking at Everly.

I flash back to her training days, when his stare had meant something else. I had assumed it was out of this desperate, never-ending desire to be the hero. He was valiant in not wanting her to be murdered, but not generous enough to take on the task of training her himself. Instead, he pawned her off on me, then spent the next few weeks throwing pained, accusatory stares in my general direction because I wasn't his ideal solution to this problem.

He has the same intense expression now, every time she moves. He watches her so carefully, like he's afraid to let her mess up, and I could scream at him. She is far more competent than him hovering over her, and he knows it. He just can't help himself.

I suddenly realize why Tris had decided she'd had enough of him. He had to be suffocating with his need to take care of her, and it's the same with his new friend. He stands as close to Everly as possible, his eyes dragging over to me every so often, to inform me he knows I'm watching.

I shrug, not caring enough to say anything. Even though he's obnoxious with his time with her, he's clearly concerned about her.

As he should be.

We'd both been privy to witness her naivety when it came to handling wanted criminals. Her faulty optimism, thinking no one would hurt her simply because she knew them. Her eagerness, though it appears to have waned as the morning goes on.

So while he watches her, he also shows her what he's doing. I can see him want to smile every so often when she says something, and it's apparent they work well together. There's a splash of hope on his face when she calls the next initiate up, because someday, there is the possibility he will leave this position. He won't want to train initiates forever, and maybe he'll be stopping much sooner than I'd thought.

I can see he takes this seriously, as well as her seriously, thinking perhaps someday, she'll take his place.

I wonder if he feels like he owes her. That after everything that happened, giving her this could be his way of making things right. His mother might have tried to kill her, but he's determined to make up for it.

I watch them intensely, my attention only flicking to the initiates every so often. They watch me, knowing who I am and why I'm here. A few try to smile, but I'm in no mood for that. I nod at them, then go back to watching the screen in front of me. The morning passes quickly, quickly enough that they make a good dent in the class before Max elbows me to signal that we have to leave. Normally, we'd watch the entire thing. It sent a message to those waiting that we were witnessing their journey here, and they couldn't just scrape by and think we wouldn't notice. But today, we are leaving them in the hands of Everly and Four, because we have something far more pressing than this planned.

"We should go now. She's waiting."

Max grins at me, and I roll my eyes right back at him.

We leave silently, unnoticed as we slip out, and I do my best to pretend I didn't throw one long look in Everly's direction, only to witness her head bent down while Four whispered in her ear.

 

 

"Does anyone have any questions?"

Arlene glares at all of us sitting in front of her. The room is quiet and crammed, and next to me, Rylan sighs heavily. His boots are propped up on the table in front of him, and he's spent most of the meeting trying to think of a way out of here, so he can meet up with Christina.

But there was none.

We'd been called in to meet with Arlene to listen to her health seminar.

Now was hardly the appropriate time. We had enough going on that no one had time to listen to her yammer on about flu season and getting enough sleep, but she didn't care. She barged through her meeting loudly, bringing up a few interesting points, but it didn't make being trapped in here any better. I perked up slightly when she talked about new serums coming from Erudite, and I listened as she informed us the trials on them would begin soon. Cara must have been hard at work on these, and they seemed far less threatening than the ones Jeanine had worked on.

I zone out, closing my eyes and thinking of all the things I could do to occupy myself until Everly came to her senses, when I hear her say Rylan's name.

"I'm sorry, did you say you're not concerned about unplanned pregnancies in our newer members? Who may not realize what they're getting into?"

"I did." Rylan laughs and when I look at him, he raises both eyebrows at me and snickers. It's clear his only intention is to annoy Arlene into letting him leave.

"Rylan, we aren't talking about that. I just said you should wash your hands…"

"I know, but the handwashing made me think of it. And no, I'm not worried about unplanned pregnancies. I think we should teach them to save themselves for marriage. That'll cut down on that problem." Rylan answers casually, and Jason snorts as he tries not to laugh. Arlene throws him a dark look and crosses her arms over her chest.

"And are you setting this example?" Arlene retorts, and Rylan grins back at her.

"Fuck no. We'll start a new trend. Bill it as the best way to avoid a pregnancy. Four can lead it."

"God help your future children. Can you please focus on what I'm talking about? I don't need you all getting sick over something that can easily be avoided."

"I never get sick. And besides, there is only one child in this faction I will care about, and it won't be my own."

"Really." Arlene stares him down, but Rylan shakes his head.

"Fuck. No. Have you ever seen the children here? Karl had one barf on him. Three times. Then one informed him he'd kill him in his sleep." Rylan shakes his head. "You think I want that?"

"It's true." Karl confirms, lifting his head up off the table where he'd been taking a nap. His voice is strained at the memory and he shudders. "The kid did say he'd kill me. All because I told him it was nap time."

Arlene sighs. "That's not…none of this is what I'm talking about. We have plenty of birth control options here, Rylan. I'm talking about making sure you all stay up to date on your vaccines, as well as being aware of what's coming from Erudite. I know I'm about to see all of you in the infirmary, whining because you have a runny nose. If you listen to what I'm saying, and focus on that, and not the children you aren't having…" She pauses to throw Rylan one unimpressed stare then a pointed look at me. I shrug, having no clue what he's talking about. "Then we can end this meeting."

"Thank God." Rylan sits up straighter, one step closer to his plan working, and next to him, Jason raises his hand.

"When are the new vaccines coming?"

"Soon," Arlene answers, rubbing her forehead. "I'm waiting for Cara to confirm a shipment, but I believe in the next few weeks. Once I have word from her, we'll start with the Leaders and work our way through the rest of the faction. You may opt out only if you're already sick."

"What if you never get sick?" Harrison asks, and I notice he's wearing glasses. They aren't his, but he adjusts them like they are. "Then are you permanently exempt?"

"No. No one never gets sick. Not even you." Arlene's answer is flat and she looks right at me. "Any real questions before we wrap this up?"

I shake my head, kicking the chair in front of me to stop Tori from asking something stupid. She turns around to throw me a dirty look, but she keeps her mouth shut. The rest of the room is silent, all hoping if no one says anything, we can leave. With Evelyn on the loose and a faction full of initiates waiting for the rankings to be announced, flu season seemed like a spectacularly stupid thing to be worrying about.

And we'd just spent an hour talking about it. Luckily, Arlene picks up on the fact that no one is enjoying her lecture, and she decides to let us free from her torture.

"Alright then. I'll email everyone to keep you posted."

"Oh good. How could I go on with my day not knowing if I'll ever get a flu shot?" Rylan mumbles, and I smirk in response. He turns to me, then elbows me to get my attention. "You want lunch before your speech? We were thinking of heading in to see Quinten. I hear he's making alfredo today."

"Sure." I shrug at him, and I shove my chair back. "Let's go now. To avoid the rush."

"Awesome." He looks over at Jason and flashes him a thumbs up.

I rise out of my chair slowly, glancing at my watch while I pretend I'm not concerned with the time. I know by now, Everly and Four have finished up with the first group and would probably have taken a break for lunch. I'm sure she'll eat with him, since she and I weren't exactly speaking, and what a lovely time she'd have.

I head out of the room, pretending this doesn't bother me as much as it does.

 

 

I don't make it very far before Arlene grabs my arm.

She's quicker than I'd expect, and I throw her one dark look as she drags me back an entire step. I gesture to Rylan to give me a second, knowing it was easier to face the Crypt Keeper than try and avoid her.

Especially after I'd shown up in her office, sulking to her about Everly.

"Well?" Her demand is pretty obvious, but I smile and pretend I have no clue why she'd want to talk to me.

"Well what? I didn't have any questions for you. Is your advanced age the reason you forgot that already?" I retort.

Her eyes narrow, and she smiles at me, unimpressed as ever.

"Your wife, Coulter. I'll make the both of you get flu shots, but I wanted to know if you two had made up. Or is she still moping around over that…that dirty hippie?"

I blink.

Coming from Arlene, the words sound fairly comical. But Everly was moping around, and Landon was dirty, so I decide to answer her.

"No. She tried to talk about it the other night, but she turned it around and insisted on telling me how I keep everything from her, including our marriage. So, there's that. I saw her briefly this morning, and I left her with Four to complete the simulations." The words fly out of my mouth before I can stop myself. I stand there with my stance wide, my shoulders back, and my lips pressed together. There's no doubt I look irritated, and I am.

So is Arlene.

Her unimpressed stare slips, and there's a rush of annoyance that I should be grateful for.

Until she speaks.

"Well, you can't fault her on that one. You did marry Everly without telling her." Arlene points out, and I decide I hate her all over again. I scowl at her, then at Rylan, pretending he's not listening while he stands there and listens. "Don't you look at me like that. It's entirely different, true. You did it because you loved her and didn't want anyone to know you had actual feelings for her. She's doing this because…" She pauses, and when she can't come up with a good reason, she sighs. "Actually, how the fuck should I know why she said that? It sounds like the two of you both need to talk to each other."

"No thanks." I answer easily. "I did talk to her. She still thinks she's right and she's not."

Rylan clears his throat and Arlene and I both look at him.

"Look, I'm no psychology expert. In fact, I failed that class in school completely because I just answered B for everything, but I have an idea. And hear me out. Maybe…. just maybe…you should have her kidnapped again. We wait a day or two, then go rescue her. Boom. Problem solved. Then she might realize how useful nice words are against a kidnapper."

Arlene and I both stare at him.

He's serious, not a hint of a smile or a speck of laughter on his face.

"Rylan, shut up and go stand in the hallway. No one is rekidnapping anyone." Arlene barks at him, and she shakes her head when he sulks. "Rylan, GO. You've been annoying all morning. You really want Everly to get kidnapped again?"

"No, but it could be someone we know. I bet Four would help us. Then she'd be grateful when Eric rescues her." Rylan throws back, just as salty as I am over all this. I shake my head no, not having enough energy to argue with him.

"At least consider it." He grumbles.

"I'll meet you in the mess hall." I announce, and I rub my hand over my face. "No one is kidnapping anyone. If she wants to be upset because I did my job, then let her. I can't change who I am here and I won't."

I stop speaking, because up until now, Everly had been the only who hadn't asked me to change. She might have wanted a few answers from me, and she'd certainly gone to any method to drag them out of me. But she'd never demanded I be someone else, nor did she try and coax me into becoming this kinder, gentler Eric that we both knew would never exist.

"I have to go." I inform Arlene, stepping away from her. "Things are the same. They'll stay the same until something gives. But it won't be me."

"Alright." Arlene seems to understand my words and the threat they are. "Enjoy your lunch. I'll find you if I need anything else."

"I'm sure you will."

I answer with an unpleasant tone, but it's exactly how I feel. This day isn't over, but it might as well be. I'd have lunch, greet the newest initiates, have a few drinks, and return home to a wife who didn't trust me.

I take off down the hallway, to where Rylan is waiting, and his expression is just as grim as mine.

 

 

I stand in the alcove above the faction, watching the crowd below me.

The view from up here is striking. Below me is a sea of black; a wave of vibrant, wild energy as those who have worked the hardest they ever have shove and push each other with honest joy. There are some who know they have made it; their time here has paid off, and now, they have found the place they will call home. I watch them smile and grin, their expressions relieved that they are done.

Some don't look so confident. I'm sure the spots here seem sparse, and unbeknownst to them, more than a few will continue on here. Even from up high I can see them trying to keep their faces neutral, though their stares are telling as they flit up to Max and myself. They have been corralled here, and now they wait until their future is revealed.

I flash back to my own time here, standing beside Four, livid over rankings that wouldn't actually mean anything to me personally. I had smirked at him when Four had looked at me, then took off in the opposite direction. For an entire minute I watched him do his best to blend in with those around him, and I knew I would never stop searching for what he was hiding. He'd be on my radar forever, much like now.

I find him standing at the edge of the crowd, watching his class nervously shove each other.

"You ready?" Max joins me, having left Jason's side a moment ago, instructing him to keep an eye on things. The celebrating would start soon, and Jason and Rylan had volunteered to make sure it started on time. And kept going. For much longer than anyone wanted to party.

I nod at him, leaning closer to him, though no one can hear us up here. "What did you think of the scores?"

"They were fitting. Both classes worked hard. Last year's group was fine, but this one seems better. Even with all the interruptions."

I nod my head, watching the crowd grow until there is almost no free space. Once it looks like everyone is here, Max clears his throat. It's loud enough that the crowd quiets down to something less noisy. My eyes search the crowd one final time, until I find her.

Everly.

Standing next to Four, looking irritated as someone shoves past her. I watch her glance around at the mass amount of people like she's never seen them before. She steps away after a moment, following Four to a spot more out of the way.

"You bozos ready?" Harrison interrupts my perusal of Everly, and I turn to look at him. He's dressed in the same uniform as all of us, and he looks just as impressive as anyone else. "The sooner we get started, the sooner we get out of here. You fellas sticking around for the celebration?"

"Harrison, did you dismiss the alarm in section three?" Tori stops right beside him, squinting at her phone. "It says it's going off, but there's no one there."

"Ah yes, I sent the annoying one to look at it. He was trying to work his way up here, but I told him to go handle this. I think the sensor fell off the wall."

I listen to Tori and Harrison talk, until Jason has had enough. He whistles loudly, something ear piercing, but it does the job. Everyone falls silent, and their eyes lift to where we stand.

"Showtime." Harrison announces cheerfully. He takes a step back, and gestures for me. "It's all you, Eric."

I glance at him, stepping forward even further. I can barely make out Everly now, and it's for the best. She's where she should be; standing beside Four, waiting to see the results from their class. I can see him just fine, and I would roll my eyes, but since he more than likely won't see it, there's no point.

"Alright, everybody listen up." I call out, and my voice is amplified in the large space. "We'll keep this short. We have a new pack of initiates this year, and a smaller pack of new members. We offer them our congratulations."

There is a roar at the end of my sentence, one that seems to last forever. It's a combination of the initiates mixed with our already celebrating members, banging loudly on the tables. I let them have their celebratory moment, until it dies down. "Tomorrow they'll choose their positions in Dauntless. As you all know, the positions are chosen in order of the rankings, determined by a combination of all their scores throughout training."

I pause, watching the anxious faces grow tense. Rylan gestures from the side, and I know the scores are ready. "The three stages have been carefully ranked by Four, Everly and Lauren. Congratulations to those who have made it."

Behind me, the screen lights up.

The names appear on the board, flashing one by one, in ranking order.

This is a wave of silence as they are revealed, until the first shriek of relief is let out. It breaks the tense atmosphere, covering up the gasps of grief from those who didn't make it. I smirk as I watch initiates grasp at each other, hugging their friends before getting pummeled by some of the older members next to them. The noise rises up, until my ears are ringing.

It brings a rare smile to face.

I can feel the very elation they're currently experiencing. It settles into my bones, this triumph of having won, having made it. The high of succeeding, after weeks of grueling training as they realize they are immediately welcome here. Their past is gone; they will no longer be associated with their former faction. They are now Dauntless, until the day they die.

The feeling is fleeting.

My eyes find Everly, staring up at the board, never having seen it before. Her name would have flashed on it in the first spot, large and white. It would have read her name as Everly Coulter, though no one would have really known why. I'm sure it raised a few eyebrows, but Everly Carlen hadn't existed here, not since the day I'd met her.

My stomach drops sharply at this thought, tightening as I watch her smile at a few of the initiates before she turns around. I give the crowd one final look, catching a few proud glances in my direction, and I take off with Max.

The party is about to start, but I have no real reason to stay here.

 

 

"You really aren't staying?"

Rylan's face is pure loathing as we walk, and he tries to knock me into the direction of the party.

"No, I'm not." I answer him. I knock him back, but my eyes are focused on the dark hallway. I have no desire to stay and get drunk, and I'm in no mood to celebrate anything. The only thing I want to do is alleviate some of this built up rage that keeps rising up no matter what I do to stop it. I walk faster, and he keeps up with me.

"Come on! Is this because I said you should have Everly kidnapped again? Obviously I was kidding!"

He protests quickly, yelping in my ear as he bumps into me. "I don't want anyone to kidnap her. I just want you guys to stop fighting."

"Yeah, me too." I bark. "But until she realizes I'll kill anyone who tries to hurt her, that won't happen."

"Come on!" Rylan begs again, and this time, I stop in my tracks to look at him. He might have been one of my best friends. Maybe my best friend. He might have kept me alive while Everly was gone, whether his reasoning was selfish or out of the kindness of his heart. But right now, he was on my last fucking nerve.

I didn't need a party.

I didn't need to get drunk with him, while he laughed about his time with Christina.

I needed to be alone, punching at things until my hands bled.

Then, and only then, would things feel somewhat better.

He seems to pick up on this.

Rylan backs away immediately, his gaze dropping to the ground and he shrugs.

"Fine. See you around."

He's just as sulky as Everly, and it only furthers my frustration.

 

 

I'm right.

This was what I needed.

Hours to myself. No one around, asking me stupid questions, or trying to figure out a way to trick me into confessing some dark secret to them. No one asking for my approval on trivial shit. No one blinking up at me, batting their eyes as they accused me of being too violent.

Just me and this ancient, creaky leather punching bag.

I have to admit, as my hands eventually protest from the stress of repeatedly hitting the bag, this felt good. The pain was sharp and quick, but it was there. It reminded me who I was, who I always had been. I forget about a tiny girl from Amity, whose stature was too small to have chosen here, who had completely taken over my life. I forget about the fight, the vile argument over how I should have acted, when I had done it to save her.

I forget about Everly entirely, until she shows up.

I'm not completely surprised.

The training room feels like her domain now. I no longer roamed over these mats, a nasty scowl on my face as I critiqued the techniques of initiates who'd been here for mere days. I no longer had any claim to these bags. To the knives I'd taught her to throw. To the route of the endless laps we'd run, while she kept up right alongside me. To the weights her arms had nearly buckled under.

This felt like her territory. Maybe that's why I'd come down here. It unconsciously reminded me of her, how our time together began; always physical, always intense, but always secretly understanding. Her sweat had mixed with mine long before I'd taken her to bed, and I'd found her just as admirable in both places.

She had been powerful long before she knew it.

Even now, she walks toward me without any fear. I can hear her, her footsteps quiet on the mats but noticeable over my punching. I know if I turn around, her eyes will be glued to me. She'll be observing my hostile posture and the sneer on my face. My hands, pummeling this bag until they cracked.

I turn around when she's not too far away, and I'm right.

She's there with her gaze on me.

Her hair is still in the ponytail it was in, but she's changed out of her uniform. Her sundress is far too short and revealing for this time of year, but it's her. It's what she would have thrown on, because it was all she ever bought. I shrug at the sight of her, having absolutely nothing to say, and I resume what I was doing.

"Eric." She says my name loudly, her tone somehow soft and sharp. It bleeds with the same frustration I feel, but it's deserved.

I don't turn around just yet.

I punch the bag again, enjoying the thud and the creak of the chain, going exactly where I want it. I finally pause, slowly turning to look at her.

"Everly." I smirk at the sight of her before me, wiping my forehead off as my gaze stops at where her dress does. On her upper thigh, far too short for anything other than coming here to make me apologize. "Not your usual choice of workout wear."

"I'm not here to work out," She answers firmly. She takes a step closer, and I am automatically on the defense. I pull myself up to my full height, unwilling to engage in this argument right now. She notices, and her head tilts at me. "And that's not intimidating, Eric."

I roll my eyes at her shitty attitude. I'm in no mood to talk to her, short dress or not. "Go home, Amity. I'll meet you there when I'm done."

She doesn't like that answer. I can see her tense up at my dismissal. Her lips press together, and her jaw tightens.

"No," She shakes her head. "I want to talk to you, and we're going to talk."

Ah, I've forgotten how brave she thinks she is. So brave, she's missed the memo that I'm done with this bullshit.

"No, we aren't," I snap. I turn back to the bags, beyond annoyed at her. "I think I've heard enough…"

I don't finish what I'm saying, because she's had enough. She lunges for me. She's faster than I remember, and she grabs my arm before I can punch the bag. She yanks me back, lucky I was off balance mid punch, and I stumble to catch my footing. I turn to look at her, my eyes flashing, ready to let her have it for daring to do something so idiotic.

"Everly." I snarl her name, and she doesn't seem to hear me. Or maybe she doesn't care. She comes right at me, reaching for my throat. Her actions echo what I'd done to Landon, but her hand is far too small to do anything other than be an annoyance.

She's also not smart enough to realize how tiny she is.

I grab her by the waist and yank her into the air.

"Cute. Now it's time for you to go home," I knock her hand away, holding her in place. She glares at me, leaning back and away, but she doesn't struggle for me to put her down.

"Eric, I want to talk to you," Everly protests angrily, and her eyes flash dark green. She looks pretty when she's mad, but it's not enough to make me ignore what's happened. I drop her down instantly, shaking my head no. I step away from her, and I see her face turn red. "You are being a jerk."

Her last words are yelled at me.

I turn around slowly, catching sight of her furious yet horrified expression, and I want to laugh. It's just another example of how naïve she really is. If she thinks calling me a jerk is the worst I've been called, then she has no clue who I am. I've been called far worse, especially by those whose lives I've ended.

But her expression pisses me off. She watches, daring to look hurt even though she's the one in here calling me names. "Oh, I'm a jerk. Alright. You want to talk about this? Beat me in this fight and we'll talk."

My words are meant to mock her. To remind her how small she is. How her daring words are inconsequential to me. How I wouldn't put up with this any longer.

She knows this. Everly doesn't move. She stares back at me, watching me shrug off the t-shirt I had on as I fully prepare to follow through with my words. Fighting my wife had never been something I ever thought would happen, but neither was this argument. Part of me wonders if she'll actually do it. Did she really think she'd win if I were to really fight her? I suppose she's willing to risk it. After all, if she wants to talk about him so badly, then here's her chance.

I can see the silent debate going through her mind as I take a step closer to her. I know I tower over her, and that alone should spark some intimidation in her. I could easily beat her to a pulp if I really wanted to.

She swallows, knowing this is it. She has this and only this chance to flee. Of course, even in my anger, I'd never hurt her. I couldn't imagine leaving a bruise on her skin that was the result of this aggression. I couldn't imagine watching her limping away, knowing I'd truly hurt her. I wasn't him. I wasn't Landon. Even during her training, when she should have been no one to me, I'd made sure she was never injured.

"Fine," She finally answers me, and she looks right at me. Defiant and short as ever. "I don't have a shirt to take off but let me fix my hair."

She announces confidently as she makes the brave decision to fight me. I watch her fix her hair, pulling the ends of it and adjusting her shoulders back. It's obvious she's stalling for time, because she doesn't have a chance in hell at beating me. "I can't wait until you have to sit here and listen to what I've been trying to tell you for days." She continues on, pretending she's not the same height as some of the children in Dauntless.

I roll my own shoulders back, unimpressed with her pre-fight banter. She's going to need some work on her intimidation factor if she plans on keeping this up.

"Any day now, Dauntless," I call out lazily. I watch her glare at me, still not moving. "Or should we settle this the Amity way? We could sit around and meditate on it?"

Irritation flashes across her face. She knows I'm baiting her, plain and simple. I've hit a nerve, one that people loved to press on when it came to her. She's fought against the stigma of coming from Amity since the day she arrived here, and I was throwing it right back in her face.

But it works.

She comes right at me, punching me in the stomach. I'm surprised, more that she actually did it than anything. It doesn't hurt, and she knows it. I lunge right back at her, easily grabbing her by the waist as she tries to push me back. But I'm faster and larger than she is. I grab onto her arm, fingers winding around her bicep as I yank her against my chest.

"Is that the best you've got? One punch? I trained you better than that," I look down at her, smirking in her face. When she scowls, I let her go, and she rears back, primed to come after me again. I idly wonder if she would have gone after Landon like this or if this honor is only for me.

"I train my soldiers to be the best." I look down at her, speaking slowly. "To be able to save their own lives if necessary."

She knows what I'm getting at.

Everly hits me again. I give her credit for her actions, because when her fist connects with my side, she winces at the cracking sound. I'm sure it hurts, but she keeps going. Punching with the same built up fury I feel. I let her continue on until I've had enough. I shove her back a step, but I reach out to grab her before she falls backward.

"Now that hardly seems like the girl I trained."

It's her turn to snarl. She lets out a noise of frustration, then does her best to punch me in the face. She's far too short to actually reach high enough to hit me. It's cute; sort of like one of the children in the daycare pretending to fight. I catch her hand before it connects to anything, and I push her away.

"Oh, Everly. That wouldn't take down one of Four's failed initiates, let alone me. Guess we won't be having that discussion tonight." I look at her mockingly, knowing this wasn't truly her best fighting. There was something off, and not just the fact that we had barely spoken in days. She looks up at me carefully, and her eyes are wide and sweet and dark.

"Sorry, Eric. I guess you're right," She answers quickly, and before I can snicker at her, she knees me as hard as she can. Right where it counts. For a second, the pain is blinding. My vision blurs, and I hunch over, swearing loudly.

"Fuck."

I gasp, barely able to get the word out. I can make out Everly in front of me, frozen in place at what she'd done. I force myself upright, staring her down with a vengeance. She retreats a few steps, but I've got her before she can get too far away. I grasp onto her, fingers digging into her exposed skin, and she tilts her head up at me.

"Smart girl." I hiss at her, and I knock her back before she can react. She hits the mat before she can blink, and I hover over her. I hold her in place, shoving one of her knees to the side so I have the upper hand. "Maybe you did pay attention during your training."

"Get off of me," Everly snaps, pushing up on my arms. She does her best to wiggle away, but she's pinned in place. It's reminiscent of our time training together. I had been on top of her like this before, back when I shouldn't have been. "This isn't fair and you know it."

I smirk at her, feeling the warmth of her skin. I've liked this for ages now. How small she is beneath me. How good it felt to be with her, touching her like this. How she'd never once pushed me away or hadn't wanted this between us.

Until him.

I immediately rise up and away from her, and she instantly moves to sit up. I push her back down, pinning one of her hands above her head. I hold her by her wrist, and I look right at her. Her eyes are wide and green, dark and full of days worth of anger and hostility.

"Nothing happened with Landon," She blurts out. Her voice is angry and tight, and she doesn't look away. "You know I would have told you if something had."

I feel my jaw clench down at the sound of his name said through her lips.

"I know you don't want to hear this, but you need to, because otherwise you'll just stay mad at me, thinking something actually did. It kills me that you think that, but I need to make sure you didn't just kill him because he was my ex-boyfriend." She keeps going, looking up at me with a different expression. It's her stare that bothers me. She had the same one once, when she asked me to look out for her. It was painful and rigid and completely hopeless.

I have to fight down the urge to say every single thought I've had these past few days. I choose only a select few, the ones I refuse to back down on.

"I killed him because he deserved it. There was no way I'd let him take you away from me again." I look right at her, my words spoken through gritted teeth. "I'll kill anyone who tries."

Everly's face changes. She nods her head, still unwilling to look away. "I know." She stops talking and moves to wiggle her hand free from my grasp. My eyes flash upward, and she uses my distraction to reach for me. A moment later, her free hand touches my head. Her fingers find the longest part of my hair, sliding through to pull me closer. "I never meant for my questions to make you think I felt anything for Landon."

I screw my eyes shut at both her touch and the sound of his name. Every muscle in my back tenses up, and I start to pull away from her. "Eric, you have to listen to me. I never loved him like I love you. I spent every free second in Amity trying to get away from him and back to you. I didn't even know who you were. I only saw your face on the announcement, and I wanted to find you. I was going to try to find a way to leave…"

My eyes fly open to her face. Her expression is pained as she dredges up this memory. Her words are as constricted as my throat, and it's hard to swallow. I know exactly what she's talking about. The speech I'd given, my words cold and lifeless as I was forced to announce Jeanine's death. I can remember being consumed by the loss of her. The darkness I felt, the feeling stronger than anything I'd ever experienced, washing over me with every single breath I took.

"You are mine... only mine." I hiss at her. I can't help myself, but the words spill out after days of distance. "You were mine before you even knew it."

I let go of her wrist, working to control the frantic feeling in my chest. She immediately slides it to the other side of my head, and her knees rise up. The fabric of her dress is bunched up, falling along her upper thighs, as she struggles to pull me close to her.

"I don't want it to ever be like this again, with us at odds with each other," She says the words softly, and my head dips down to touch hers. I'm fully over her now, my hips pushing into hers, and my entire body screaming at the feeling of her. There is a different tension between us now, one growing with each second that passes.

"I didn't tell you about Landon because he wasn't important. I've chosen you since the first day you chose me. I didn't want to think about him, about everything that I'd left behind. None of that mattered to me. Don't you see that?" Everly asks gently, oh so quietly, and I realize this was all for nothing. This stupid fight. The dumb argument. My entire logic of thinking that she was upset over someone who meant nothing. "You are my choice, Eric."

I forget everything. My lips crash into hers without thinking. There is nothing sweet or romantic about this kiss, only pure want. The need to kiss her, after days of being forced apart. The urge to shove her further into this mat, to claim her all over again, to once again show her every ounce of what I feel, until neither of us ever doubt the other again.

She kisses me back just as frantically, only pulling away to gasp for air.

"I won't lose you again." I remind her needlessly, roughly kissing along the side of her cheek. Her ear. Her jaw. Anywhere I can press my lips. "I'll kill anyone who comes near you, and you'll be fine with it."

I can feel her smile. It works its way through her entire body, pushing her closer to me, as I kiss her neck. "Anyone?"

"Anyone," I murmur, and I mean it. The next person who stares at her the wrong way. Who bumps into her. Who dares to try and take her away from me. I draw back from her, so I can look right at her face. The weariness is gone from her expression, and she looks just like my Everly, splayed out beneath me. "I would never do anything to drive you away from me. You know that, right?"

She looks right at me, her eyes wide and fixed on me.

"Yes."

Her hands yank me back to her, and she kisses me again. Her lips crash against mine, and her eyes slip shut. The next few minutes are nothing but her and I, together again. The world rights itself in these seconds. There is nothing but her beneath me, her lips warm against my own, and her hips against mine. Her dress shoved up, her body pushed into the mat, and my hands trailing alongside her. They reach beneath her flimsy dress, skating up her side until I can grasp her waist.

"I love you." I announce, smiling down at her. My grin quickly turns smug, thinking of her priming to fight against me not long ago. "Even if you did think you'd beat me in a fight."

She pretends to glare up at me, but it falls away as I resume kissing her. I press my mark all over her, all over again. I start at her throat, working my down to her collarbone, biting at her skin where I want to. She tastes salty and sweet, and it's not long before the blood has rushed from my head, to between my legs. I had felt the same way when I trained her, nearly unable to stop myself when it came to her.

I'm unable to stop this from unfolding, and I give in to it all.

The feel of her body beneath mine. Warm, soft skin. Little fabric.

My hands roam over her skin, and I find my hips unconsciously jerking toward her. My thinking is hazy as she reacts, both reaching for me, and seeking out the same friction that I am. I kiss her shoulder, shoving the strap of her dress to the side, and she blurts out my name when my teeth scrape over her skin.

"Eric..." She gasps my name, and it sounds absolutely lovely to hear it said like that. Her head falls to the side, her exposed neck vulnerable and my fingers skim up to her ribs. The sight of her is beyond anything I've ever seen. It wins out over the idea that we are still in the training room, and I have every intention of following through with what I'd wanted to do.

I recline back onto my heels, staring down at her.

"Come back," She groans, reaching for me. Her eyes are half closed, but she opens them when I reach to unzip my pants. My erection has become painful, throbbing and unfairly aroused.

I have every intent of fucking her right here.

Right on these very mats where she'd once stood before me, her entire future in the palm of my hands.

I shove my pants down as Everly reaches for me. She's impatient now, her eyes dark and lusty as she yanks me back over her. I don't mind this position at all, but it'll be much better when I'm buried deep inside her.

"I love you." She tells me, kissing the skin on my throat, and her hands tighten on me. The air has grown still around us, heavy with anticipation.

"Do you have any idea how many times I thought about this?" I slowly bite the words at her, kissing aimlessly. "How many days of training I wondered what it would have been like to shove you onto this mat and undress you, have my way with you before Four's class came back?"

She suddenly gasps, but not in a good way.

"Eric!" She jerks the strap of her dress up, and her expression changes completely. The lusty look is gone and replaced with utter horror.

"What?" I bark at her, irritated that she's stopped me and furious at the reason I've just made up. "You want to talk about Landon some more before we continue?"

Everly shakes her head furiously, scowling at my words. "No! I mean, I definitely want you to keep going. But not here. I want you to take me home."

I give her a funny look. I'm not unhappy to take her home, but I'd much prefer to do this here. I follow her gaze up above my head, turning to find the red light that's blinking. It's mounted high on the wall, and it dawns on me that her precious friend is probably working tonight.

I wonder if he's up for a sequel.

"You afraid Four won't enjoy another show?" I smirk at her, loving the idea that he'd have to watch. He'd be stuck in there, the image burned into his brain no matter how many times he erased the footage.

Everly shakes her head, leaning up to kiss me quickly. "I just want it to be you and me. In our bed." She stops and smiles up at me. "And you can take off your pants completely at home, without Four watching."

I find myself entertained by her words, and I smile without even trying. I'm beaming down at her, and she grins back at me.

"Take me home."

"If you insist, Everly." I rise up off her, taking a second to fix my pants. I reach my hand out to her, and she takes it. I pull Everly to her feet, then right back against me, flush against my chest. My fingers slide through her hair, curling in near the nape of her neck. "You ready, Dauntless?"

She smiles brightly.

Things are different now. It feels like we've both come to a common understanding. She understands why I killed Landon, and that I would do the same to anyone who tries to harm her. I understand that she's loved me this entire time, and I'd been a moron to think otherwise.

I hold onto her hand tightly, her fingers laced through mine, and I can't help but feel a sense of total completeness.

I had never in my life needed anyone. I'd never felt like I was incomplete, or that I was missing a part of myself. I'd never searched for a soulmate, nor even believed in the idea that I'd ever love someone in any capacity.

I had been wrong.

Stupidly, terribly wrong.

I see this now as Everly looks up at me. Her eyes are happy and bright, and her skin is flushed. She smiles, lips turning up at me, and only me, and my chest tightens in a way I've never felt before.

I vow to never let things get out of hand like this, ever again.

And I'll still kill anyone who dares get in my way.

Ever.


	46. Max's Decision

My elation leaves me reeling.

I walk along with Everly, her fingers wound through mine and her lips turned up in a knowing smile, and everything is fucking right again. Long gone is the crushing weight of the idea that she'd doubted me. The emptiness of her absence. The burning feeling every time I looked at her, assuming the dark look on her face was because she was mourning the loss of Landon.

Everything is much better, brighter, more colorful, even if she had stopped me from taking my pants off minutes ago. I would have had no issues continuing right there, right on the training mats. It would have felt symbolic; the very first place I'd ever pressed myself up against her, and now the very place we'd made up from our fight, officially ridding our lives of the last obstacle in our way.

I could probably have convinced her otherwise. Odds were, Four was not in the control room, but someone else who'd dutifully turn their head and stop the footage. But I liked the idea of making up at home just as much, so I'd agreed.

I took her small hand in mine, and together, we headed home.

My good mood continues right up until we reach the chasm.

I was still euphoric from our fight ending. So euphoric I ignored the noise from the party. The shrieks from the crowd. The noise level reaching all new heights as the members were welcomed. It made everything so much clearer. Everly's hair is darker, her skin paler, her smile brighter. The water rushing past us seems louder, blues and greys swirling dangerously as they spill downward. It's as if I'm seeing everything in very high definition, including Brittney, dangling right off the edge.

I ignore her.

There's a crowd around her, pushing and shoving, but mostly heckling her. Some are shrieking for her to get down. The fall off the chasm isn't one she'd survive, and the rocks she's perched on are slippery. There's a good chance if she shifts her weight wrong she'll fall, and an even better chance she'll fall trying to get down.

Some are shrieking for her to get on with it. To jump already, ending this spectacle so they can continue partying, having grown bored with her threatening to jump, time after time.

She listens to them dismissively; her blonde hair falls in her face and she debates what they're chanting, hesitating as she peers over the edge.

I decide we'll keep walking.

Everly decides we should try to save the world before she takes my pants off.

"Eric, that's Brittney." Everly stops in her tracks, pulling on my arm.

I let out a sharp exhale of exasperation. I'm well aware of who it is. Brittney was a regular in this area, always as dramatic as possible. She was the daughter or niece or fifteenth cousin of someone important, and she'd been granted a position labeled Leader forever ago. She didn't actually do much, and we'd found that Rylan did more work than her. He brought this up every time we saw Brittney, glaring at her from across the table.

Her visits were infrequent. She would occasionally slink into our meetings late, up to an hour, sometimes two, and she would spend the entire time on her phone ignoring everyone.

Harrison loathed her, almost as much as she loathed him. They'd gone at it a few times, him yelling for her to put her phone down, and her yelling at him to mind his own business.

If he were here now, he'd surely push her right off the edge.

"Eric," Everly says my name again, and I slowly glare at the sight of Brittney. I was minutes away from going home to have sex with my wife, something that hadn't happened since being trapped in Amity, and now, I was trapped by the crowd watching this cluster fuck.

"JUMP! YOU GOT THIS!"

The words echo over the roar of the water, and Brittney raises her head to throw them a withering stare. It seems as if they've interrupted her performance here, and she shakes her head as she either changes her mind, or decides she'd like some privacy in this very public space.

"We should get her down," Everly all too kindly insists, and I shake my head again.

If there was anything worse than Brittney, it was talking to her. She disliked almost every one of us, especially me. I'd gotten in between her and Harrison multiple times, including the last time, when he'd flat out yanked her phone out of her hands and thrown it at Linda.

I had taken his side and Brittney had not appreciated that.

I glance down at Everly, and I raise my eyebrows at her.

"She's more likely to listen to you than me. You go try to talk to her, and I'll go get some medical help," I announce. I make the sudden decision to call Arlene, and I decide she can take Brittney in to have her head examined. I lean down, kissing Everly and silently promising I won't forget where we were going. "Give me two minutes."

Everly nods, her eyes staying on me just a moment longer than necessary, then she takes off toward the group. I sigh as I watch her shove her way through the crowd, until she's right up front. The spray from the waterfall is everywhere, and she's careful as she works her way to rescue our resident nutcase.

I dial Arlene, and she answers immediately.

"Did you make up yet? Is that why you're calling?" She answers on the first ring, and her voice is too loud in my ear.

"Unimportant. You need to come down to the chasm. We've got a situation down here." I answer, rubbing at the side of my head. I squint at Everly, still heading toward Brittney. I have the sudden image of her slipping, and both of them falling down into the water below, and my throat closes up.

"A situation?"

"Brittney's on the edge again. Threatening to jump or not jump. But she won't get the fuck down."

"Are you serious? I thought Max told her-"

"Does she listen to anyone? No." I answer impatiently. "Hurry up. Before she knocks my wife down the waterfall."

"Why is Everly with her? You let her up there?" Arlene barks, but I can hear her rustling around. She yells for a few to come along with her, and I hear her call out the name of a sedative. "Give me a minute. We're on our way."

"Great." I answer cheerfully, and I punch the end button on my phone. My attention turns back to the crowd, all watching as Everly tries to coax Brittney back a few steps. She doesn't seem as viciously irritated by Everly, but she eyes her with a strong look of distrust.

"Leave me alone!" Brittney finally shrieks at her, and she holds up both her hands to stop Everly from getting close to her.

"Yeah, leave Brittney alone!"

Those watching are delighted by this show. They continue to yell out at her, some taunting, some encouraging, a few supportive. It's all somewhat amusing, until Everly reaches out to her, trying to grasp her hand.

Fuck no.

I storm through the crowd, shoving people left and right. All I can see is Everly, her tiny self and her tiny dress getting sprayed by the waterfall. She finally gets close enough to grab ahold of Brittney, but Brittney wiggles free. She takes a step further away, now right on the edge.

I shake my head as Everly yells something to her, still trying to get her to reconsider, and Brittney seems to think it over. She glances down at the water, then frowns. But I know it's an act. She's certifiably insane, and she has no plans of listening to anyone.

I push my way through the crowd, until finally, they're both within my reach.

"I said…" Brittney starts to answer, but her eyes widen when she spies me right behind Everly. She's done this a few times, to both Jason and Rylan, and neither were too happy to help her out. The expression on my face is pure agitation on their behalf as well as mine, and she knows it.

She looks terrified.

"Get the fuck over here." I move right past Everly, shoving her back a step, and I reach for Brittney. I grab hold of her much harder than I need to, yanking her forward with more force than necessary. She stumbles, slipping on the wet rocks but I don't let go. I drag her down from the ledge, not caring what she had plans to do, nor willing to let her decide her own fate on my watch.

I hold her in place while she thrashes, and I roll my eyes when she hisses at me. "Arlene's on her way."

At our resident warlock's name, she lets out an ear-piercing shriek, and she tries to jerk away from me. "Leave me alone!" Her panic is understandable, but useless.

I glare at her, hating her almost as much as Four. I half debate bringing her to him, wondering if he's looking for a roommate. But before I can decide how much I like that idea, I hear footsteps. It sounds like an army marching this way, and I smile as the sound increases.

I catch Everly's stare; her hair is now damp, and she smiles, scrunching up her nose as Brittney flounders. I've got her by the arm, but she's bending and twisting in a desperate attempt to flee. Even she knows enough to be afraid of Arlene.

"Quiet." I snap at Brittney, ignoring her dark look. I tell the people in front of us to move the fuck out of my way, and they do. They all step back, creating a half circle around her. There are a few concerned murmurs, but they die down the minute Arlene arrives.

True to her word, she was quick.

She stalks over to us with a very annoyed look on her face. She's surrounded by her largest and strongest nurses, and she assesses the situation unfolding in front of her. Brittney, now sitting on the ground, sulking. And me, holding her in place. Of course, Arlene's gaze skates over to Everly, but she's satisfied enough that she turns to her team and nods.

She doesn't say a single word.

She doesn't need to.

They move quickly, having done this three times now. They surround Brittney, ignoring her wild look of rage, and one pulls out the syringe they've brought along. Brittney knows what it is, because she immediately starts screaming.

The sound is high-pitched, and a few around us wince as one of the male nurses pulls her to her feet. All it takes is a few seconds to kick in. Brittney's stare finds me, angry but less so, and she sways on her feet. Her stare grows hazy, and her head droops to the side.

The crowd falls silent. The new members watch with sheer terror on their faces, and the old members shrug, having seen it before.

"How long you want her in for?" Arlene asks. She looks at me, waiting for me to sentence Brittney for wasting all our time.

"This is the third time she's done this. So extend her stay there three times as long as the last one. Take her phone, too. If she wants to pull this shit, then she can spend a few days without it."

Arlene nods, then barks at her team to take Brittney away.

Arlene observes her critically while they pull her along, until we can't see her anymore. She then calls something in to the infirmary. I overhear her ask for someone to be prepared for her arrival and someone to alert Max. I scowl, knowing full well I'll have to deal with this.

She might not have actually worked around here, but it meant we were officially down a leader. There was no way around it. Even if she just held the title, there was weight behind it. It meant someone would have to take her place.

It meant if I couldn't finish up Everly's training in the next week, it left the position open. With the way things were right now, there was no way we could leave it like that, nor would Max want to.

I shake my head, knowing this meant either Everly had to finish up her training as soon as possible, or I'd have a headache dealing with the inevitable election of a brand new leader.

 

 

"Will she be okay?" Everly asks, looking up at me from her spot on the bed.

She'd sat down on the very edge, watching me undress. I look at her while I take off the shirt I'd had on earlier, still in her dress, her hair still wet from the water.

I shake my head no, sneering at the memory of turning Brittney over to Arlene.

"I think Brittney is gonna take a little vacation for a while," I answer. I pause, pressing my hands over my face as I groan internally. Brittney would be gone for a while. In fact, Arlene would probably hold her as long as she could and then some. We'd had a few members snap here before. The pressures and demands could be overwhelming, but in Brittney's case, it must have been something else.

It didn't matter. It still left us a person short, even if the work she did was garbage.

All of this, plus the exhaustion of my workout and the fight with Everly comes crashing down on me. The light feeling I'd been experiencing before is gone. It's replaced with a heavy slap of annoyance; names of candidates flashing through my head, ideas about who I could quickly nominate before Max decided on his own ideal leader. While the position could easily go to Everly, there was a hesitancy on my part to throw her right in there.

I knew she could do it.

She'd have me to back her up, and she'd have the support of Jason and Rylan. Harrison. Tori, when it came down to it. But I hadn't been in any real hurry to have her finish, and some of the most important sections were coming up. I couldn't very well push her through and pass her, only to have her flounder when she really had no clue what she was doing. It would be unfair to everyone, especially her.

I roll my head from side to side, looking at the bathroom door, and deciding nothing was getting decided tonight. I look at Everly, and I smirk before I can help myself.

She did say she'd rather I take my pants off without Four watching, and now was her chance. "I'm going to take a quick shower. Are you coming?"

She doesn't answer.

She smiles brightly and slides right off the bed to join me.

 

 

She is warm.

For once, Everly isn't freezing as she's pressed up against me. Her back is flush against my chest and I hold her right there, where she belongs, while I kiss her neck. She does her best to keep her balance on the slippery tile, but it's nearly impossible. I keep pulling her back against me, this loud and persistent desire to have her right then and there, unwilling to let her escape the falling water.

She laughs when I bite her earlobe, but she tilts her head backward, giving me the access I want. I've missed her beyond what I could ever imagine possible. I knew she was here, and fine, but the distance between us had felt never-ending. Unfair. Definite.

Sharp.

I had missed the softness of her.

The warmth of holding her close, my hands desperate to touch her and my body screaming to be near her. I'd been too caught up in my own arrogance to give in, but I'd made my point. My relief was just as evident now. She understood the depths of what I felt, along with how far I'd go to keep her safe. She understood my concern. My want to protect her. My need to protect her.

She turns around, done with the water in her face for the second time, and her eyes are lit with the same want that's coursing through my veins. It's explosive, even beneath this spray of water. She reaches out to touch my chest, her fingers skimming over my slick skin, down my chest, to my hips. She eyes me cheekily, not daring to go any further, but knowing I'd like her to.

It hadn't taken long for things to heat up.

The water, this bathroom, my hands on her.

She digs her fingers in, pulling me forward, until I'm right up against her. Her back is pressed against the wall, ignoring the chill of the tile. I kiss her quickly, sliding my arm behind her and around her waist, and she rises up on her toes.

This had been going on for some time now.

I'd helped her wash her hair. Her back, her shoulders, the entire length of her arm, then each one of her fingers. I rubbed over the knuckles of the one she'd punched me with, smirking when she looked up at me from beneath her wet hair. I'd seen her like this before; I'd been in the shower with her multiple times and caught her hopping out of it almost daily. But there is something raw here, her skin wet, her face bare, and her hair a mess from being shoved out of the way.

I was lucky.

Beyond lucky.

Better men than me would kill to see this sight.

"Are you ready to get out?" I ask her, enjoying my assault on her skin, and the way she sighs her relief. If she wants to, I'll stay in here. Eventually, the water will turn cold. Or Jason will come banging on the door, screaming about water conservation statistics. But I don't care about any of that. If she wants to stay here, I'll attack her right in this shower, until the only sound is my name being groaned.

Everly rises up, nodding her head before she kisses me. It's meant to tell me yes, we can most definitely head out of here, and yes, she's done rinsing conditioner out of endless strands. But the kiss continues for far longer; her lips part open so I can deepen the kiss, then she pulls away reluctantly.

"Yes," She answers, grinning as I pull her forward. I walk us back a step, pausing to kiss her beneath the water. It's not at all romantic or as tantalizing as one would think. For a second, we can't breathe, but I like it. I kiss her fiercely, then pull her forward out of the water.

I'd had plenty of time to think about her these past few days.

Who she is.

How much I love her.

How I'd never planned on loving anyone. How farfetched the idea was: that I would ever want for a wife, or decide one from Amity was the only one I needed. I had never planned to let her get close to me, never planned to feel anything for her. I'd been blindsided by how much I cared for her, and even now, the feeling was like jumping off a building.

"Eric." Everly says my name as I wipe the water off my face, and I eye her up and down. She's still standing in the water, smiling at the smirk on my face.

"Here." I open the shower door, and I grab the first towel I can find. I wait while she rinses her hair once more. She turns off the water, then squeezes an impressive amount of water out of it. I stand there holding the door open, still in disbelief that this is my life. That I have her, waltzing out of my shower completely naked, and she only loves me.

"Are you tired?" She calls out over her shoulder, and I watch her walk away. Her dark hair falls down to the small of her back, and she heads straight to what had become her dresser. The blood in my body rushes straight to my dick, remembering we had some making up to do.

Making up beyond kissing in the shower.

"Everly."

I say her name right and she turns to look at me. She's standing in front of an open drawer, rifling through the clothes in there. Her eyes look me up and down, not having bothered to grab a towel past quickly drying myself off, and I'd left it in there.

She moves to pull out something dark, the fabric no doubt slinky and slippery, and I smile.

"Don't bother getting dressed."

I reach for her, grinning even further when she lets go of the nightgown that I'd only take off her. I take hold of her hand, pulling her right in front of me. She comes to the center of my chest, and she looks up at me, her hair all over the place. I brush the longer pieces out of her eyes, always in some perpetual state of obscuring her vision. Then I push the rest back, wanting to see her.

Really see her.

She rarely didn't look like Everly, but this is my favorite version of her. It's an Everly no one else ever sees. Completely and wholly herself. My hands trace down the side of her face, over high cheekbones, to her neck. Down her side, over her ribs. Over the exact spot someone had kicked her, their boot knocking into her fair skin while they fell off the wall. I had touched that spot while she lay against me, her tiny body pressed up against mine, listening to me tell her I'd never be gentle. That I couldn't. Wouldn't.

I'd been wrong.

So very wrong.

While I had trained her to be the soldier she needed to be, I'd done so with more care than I'd ever believed possible. I had never thought it would be in me, but looking back, my actions were downright docile. I'd kept her in a way I'd never thought I would treat someone. I gave her everything and anything I could, not even aware that my own actions came from a place of gentleness. I had been proving to her everything I couldn't say.

How I was safe. How I'd protect her. Me, the one formerly dragging people in by their hair, laughing at their misfortune of a misguided test. I'd silently given her every answer she'd wanted, sometimes more. I'd carefully laid the foundation for what could be, all while protecting myself in case it didn't work out. I'd given her the options she needed –stay or leave, the choice was hers, all while handing her what she needed to succeed.

I had been gentle with her all along, because it was the only way I could tell her how I felt without saying it.

But that was then.

Now, I could tell her easily, the words no longer painful or embarrassing to admit. I could tell her without hesitation, always knowing I had loved her, but never sure she felt the same.

I know that now.

"I love you."

My eyes fall to hers, unblinking. She looks at me with an intense stare, her eyes searching mine frantically. I like how she looks now, both innocent and not so innocent, as she deciphers everything between us. Everything that's happened, every moment of our time together, leading up to now.

I am careful as I take her to our bed.

I carry Everly easily, tossing her onto my side of the bed. It had been a long time since I'd thought of it as my own space, and a long time since she'd first slept here.

I take one long look at her, her smile wide and knowing as I stand there before her. The dark sheets are extra dark and she looks extra pale as she leans back against the pillows. Everly props herself up to look back at me. There's a luxuriousness to the sight of her. She looks like some sort of royal sacrifice brought before me, but one that's turned into much more. The sight burns itself into my mind and I smile right back at her, unprompted and without thinking. Not a smirk, not a sneer.

An honest smile that continues until she's beneath me, warm and soft, and the feeling of her is all I can focus on. I think of how I'd missed this: more than her, but everything she offered. The feeling of her skin, the way her fingers slide through my hair, down my neck, over my shoulders. The way her calf is wrapped around my thigh, and her head falls back onto my pillow.

It continues until I've forgotten the feeling of being mad at her. Until the idea of it seems so farfetched that it's laughable.

Until she groans my name, the sound both low and light, and I can't remember a time before her.

 

 

Days later, I think of the sweet softness of her as I press a gun into the palm of her hand.

She looks up at me with a flash of green, and her fingers curl around the metal.

Giving Everly a gun was something I'd put off. I had no real reason to need her to be armed at all times, and it seemed premature to insist she carry one with her. I could have put it off even further; she wasn't done with her Leadership Training, and I could stretch it out as I see fit. I suppose it was my own personal reasoning for not doing this sooner. I liked how sweet and innocent she seemed and giving her something that could end a person's life with a single shot seemed harsh for her. Too violent, given her easy nature. Too final, considering all the things that have happened to her.

But she was just those things. She was brave and smart, well trained by my own hand, and level headed. Most of the time. I saw no reason she shouldn't have it, other than my own lingering theory that she wouldn't need it since she'd never be out of my sight again.

Now, Everly tests out the weight of it, looking at me curiously.

"You need to keep this on you at all times, unless you are home with me. Understood?" My words sound heavy in the office. They seem to bounce off her, sitting across from my desk in the visitor's chair, staring at the gun.

She looks up at me again, confusion all over her face.

"Why are you giving this to me now?"

Her question is a good one.

She'd been with me all morning. I'd shown her a few reports that would bore the snot out of anyone, and I'd showed her how to dismiss them if she didn't feel like reading them. We'd gone over a few more budgets, I'd explained how to track the soldiers' working hours, and it was then that I saw it. An upcoming section of her training that she'd have to complete. One that would require a firearm. She would have to be armed to accompany the patrol squads, and the more comfortable she was, the better.

I'd left her in my office. I told her I'd be right back, and she resumed typing away at her long neglected emails.

Once I arrived where I needed to be, I selected the same handgun that leaders were assigned, and I registered it. It took longer than I'd like, but I had time. Ironically enough, Rylan was working down there, and he had gleefully signed off on the paperwork. He knew this moment was coming. With this Leadership Training, I was giving her the freedom no one else had. Every day she completed, she grew a little bit more, and before she knew it, she'd have Dauntless in the palm of her hand.

She just had to make it through alive.

Rylan knew this. He also registered the gun to me, as a precautionary measure in case something went wrong. He also asked to oversee the squad she would go with, and I shook my head. While a fairly good idea and kind offer, she'd be better off with someone who would take her presence seriously. Rylan would look out for her, but he'd make a joke out of everything. Maybe even try to have her kidnapped just for fun. I hadn't given him all the details of the resolution of our argument, but he assumed things were fine.

And they had been.

More than fine.

I'd found Everly on top of me almost every morning, and I'd started the past few days with her hips slamming against mine, her head thrown back and her hands on my chest. I'd say my mood had turned around considerably, and so had Everly's.

Now she doesn't look entirely thrilled, but more concerned that I was giving her a gun. "Does everyone in Dauntless carry one all the time?"

I shake my head no. "All Dauntless leaders carry full time. Patrol squad leaders and squad members, security officers, really anyone on active security status who might be called into action is expected to carry one." I pause, eyeing her up and down. Just like every day, she was dressed in something I liked. However, this particular dress is short. The straps are loose, and the skirt is currently pooling around her thighs. "I put off getting you one because I didn't think you'd need it just yet."

Her eyes narrow. "I could have used one months ago," she half jokes. The look on her face tells me she's mostly kidding, because from what I saw, she never had a chance against Colton. Trained, untrained. Gun or no gun. He came up behind her, smashed her head into the wall, and took off. She'd have had a better chance of kicking him in the balls than getting a clean shot in.

Still, my wince is enough that I feel it in every bone of my body. "All other Dauntless are required to be armed only when they leave the compound. The trainers don't need to carry their personal weapons during initiation, since they demonstrate with the training weapons instead. Besides," I smirk at her, liking the way she's watching me. "We prefer you discipline the initiates in other ways."

"I wouldn't have shot them." She pretends to be innocently insulted. "I know plenty of ways to discipline them." I watch her toy with it, her slim fingers turning the gun over and over. She releases the magazine from it, chewing on her lip while she examines it.

Despite her words, she still looks far too pretty to be out there shooting people. It was my own thinking, my own justification that was rising up the closer she got to finishing the program, all out of pure selfishness. I wanted to keep her all to myself, because I was afraid she'd get hurt. I wanted to keep her safe, but without her feeling suffocated.

This was a dangerous balance.

I had promised to keep her safe, and I would. I just had to make sure I didn't come across as Four point 2.

"Yes, you're terrifying," I retort, and her head jerks up. My lips curl up at her feigned dark stare, knowing full well she wasn't scary. "You and I will train with it later this week. The serial number is assigned to you, so you need to make sure it stays with you."

My stare falls to the very bottom of her dress, currently curling up on her thighs.

"You might want to try wearing pants," I suggest. My eyes travel down her bare legs, to the ballet flats on her feet.

The patrol squads were going to have a field day with her.

I could just imagine the protest when she showed up to tag along, dressed like this.

I'd never cared.

Since arriving here, I'd enforced no official dress code for her. Max had given her training clothes five sizes too large, and the remainder of her stuff was purchased with her friends. I could just imagine Christina dragging her down there, gleefully throwing clothes left and right until she found the perfect items.

For Everly, it seemed to be things no one here would ever wear.

I had to admit I liked them. I liked seeing the bare skin of her shoulders. Her collarbone. Bare legs in the dead of winter. She chose things that never seemed to stay on her. They often were sliding down, slipping off, like they were made for me to come along and take them off. I'm sure she'd raised a few eyebrows. Sundresses and flimsy skirts weren't something people were accustomed to wearing, but they were her.

They were fine for what she'd been doing. Fine for lounging around at home with me, fine for dining out with our friends.

Not fine for heading out on a patrol route.

"But it's really nice out," Everly insists, and her look tells me she's confident in this answer. "Have you even gone outside today?" She looks up at me, tilting her head in disbelief. "It's the warmest day so far."

I stare at her.

She wasn't wrong.

It was the nicest day we'd had so far, but even so, our soldiers were required to wear actual uniforms.

"It is," I agree, looking right at her. Her lips turn up, thinking she's won this debate. "I mean, I don't mind the dresses. But you'll have a hard time carrying a gun in that outfit."

"I know," She grimaces, making a face. "Alright."

I frown, knowing full well Everly Coulter didn't believe in pants. Leggings to train in, sure. Actual pants? I'd seen her wear them once in all her time here. Before I can explain why she can't wear a dress or that the entire reason hinges on the fact that she'll be heading out on a patrol, Max appears. He looks unusually irritated, his face tense and his scowl prominent.

"I need a word, Eric." He glares at me, and his stare drops to Everly. She's fumbling with the gun, sliding the magazine back into place.

"Hi, Max," She answers him brightly, then glances around. She looks left, then right, then at her lap. She finally looks at me, amusement crossing her face as she has nowhere to place the gun. I raise my eyebrow in a silent "I told you so" and hold my hand out, grunting as she hands it over to me.

"Morning, Everly." Max greets her, rifling through the pages in his hand. "Either of you get the latest email from Harrison?"

I nod my head yes. Everly nods no, and I realize it probably got lost in the backlog she had accumulated. We'd been busy working, but not with what Max was asking.

"Alright, he's waiting in my office. We can grab a coffee on the way." Max throws out, then he glances down at Everly, still patiently waiting. The email was a scathing request for a meeting she wouldn't want to sit in on, and his next words are lucky for her. "Everly, we'll see you for lunch."

She smiles up at him, not bothered at all by his dismissal.

In fact, she looks very happy to escape the odd, unusual rage from Harrison that I knew was coming.

 

 

"That son of a bitch!"

Harrison slams his fist onto the table, and his face is bright red. "He thinks he can just demand information from us. It's insulting."

I eye him warily, watching my coffee shake from the vibration. "We aren't telling him shit, so don't worry. You can relax."

"Marcus Eaton." Harrison says slowly, his voice dripping with disgust. "Thinking he can try to come visit, all willy nilly, demanding a security briefing on Evelyn. Like we'd tell him where she is."

"Do we know where she is?" Rylan asks, spinning the pen around on his finger. This meeting was attended by everyone, and while enthused to find Evelyn, he wasn't enthused to be here. "Because no one has told me anything about her."

"No, we don't." Harrison slams his other fist down, and my coffee sloshes over the side. I glare at him while I reach for a napkin, and he points his finger at me. "Have you been through Abnegation yet? Did you check it out?"

"No, I've been busy." I answer, having no desire to head through Abnegation. "I could send someone through again if we need it."

"Busy doing what? I haven't even seen you in days." Harrison stares at me in an accusatory manner, his gaze like daggers. I narrow my eyes right back at him.

"Busy with Everly. And I just saw you the other day." I snap, and I lift my cup up before he can hit the table again. "Could you not? I'd like to drink this."

"Busy making up with Everly. They were in a fight." Jason not so helpfully points out, and Rylan snickers.

"Making out not making up. Poor Four looked ready to throw up when he left work the other night."

"It's good for him." I throw out, reclining back in my chair. "Spice up his life a little bit, give him a few ideas. Tris should be thanking me."

"Gentlemen," Max interrupts, and his stare flashes to Tori who looks pained. "And, Tori. Please, back on track."

"Oh no," Tori shakes her head. "Please, let's hear about Eric making up and out with his wife. Who isn't even here. Who's also the current target of Evelyn's army. But it's much more fascinating to hear that he likes to get it on in public while his friend watches."

"Murder friends, not real friends." Rylan clarifies, and his pen flies off his hand. "Actually, shouldn't we invite Four to this meeting? He might have some insight to Abnegation."

"There's no insight needed." I roll my eyes at all of them. "Marcus is afraid of Evelyn and her army. It's a reasonable request to want to know what's going on." I pause, stretching my neck from side to side. "However, since it's Marcus, we won't be revealing anything. He can go fuck himself."

"I think we should be watching him." Harrison crosses his arms over his chest and looks directly at me. "Why were you and Everly fighting?"

"Nice try, but I don't have all day for this meeting. You want us in Abnegation? This is your call." I swiftly change the subject. "You say the word, I'll call it in to Karl. Otherwise, we continue as planned."

"Has there been any activity?" Tori leans forward, looking at me, then Max. "Any new updates we haven't heard?"

"No." I shake my head. "Nothing. Small issues here and there, but otherwise, unnaturally quiet."

"Well that's weird." Tori leans in. "What's your call Eric? You think we should go through there? I'm fine going with Karl. I'd like to see this myself."

"No!" Harrison interrupts, and his face looks red. "We aren't giving him what he wants."

"What I want…" Rylan kicks his feet up, examining his unlaced boots. "is a hotdog. Is anyone else hungry? Or just me?"

"Tori, you go. Meet up with Karl, just be quiet about it while you're there. Make it look like you're just driving through. I think we're good otherwise." I take a sip of my coffee, and I stare at Rylan. "You know who else likes hot dogs?"

"I swear, if you say Four…" Rylan threatens, but his face brightens up. "Hey, I'll go to Abnegation, too. I want to see Tris' family."

"Why?" Harrison looks rightfully disgusted. "Why do you need to see her family? How do you even know they're there?"

"Personal reasons." Rylan answers quickly.

"Fine. Anyone else want to tag along?" Max looks ready to kill someone, and I hope the stress is finally starting to get to him. "Alright then. Head out. If there's any news, Harrison will call a second meeting."

"You bet your ass I will." Harrison glares at him, but his stare flies back to Rylan. "Hey, kid. Wait up. I need to know why you want to know about the Priors."

"I can't tell you. But I have this theory…" Rylan leads him out the door, walking fast to get away from him.

I lean back, watching as everyone around me leaves. I decide to stay sitting there, until I've finished my coffee.

For a moment, the silence is glorious. I take my time, enjoying the hum of the fluorescent lighting, the buzz of an empty office. I go as far as to shut my eyes, knowing I have absolutely nothing I really have to do right now. I'll meet up with Everly for lunch, but until then, I can sit here, enjoying the peace and quiet.

It lasts until I open my eyes and find Four sitting there.

 

 

"You issued her a gun?"

Four sits across from me, drinking the weak left-over coffee from the meeting, and daring to raise an eyebrow at me. "Is that safe? Are you worried she isn't safe? Is that why you gave her one?"

His questions come one after the other, laced with concern and flat out curiosity. I raise my eyebrow back at him. He might have stuck up for me and defended me over Landon, but that didn't mean I was here to answer all his questions.

"Why are you in here?" I stare right at him, not bothering to answer him as to why I was assigning the future leader of our faction a weapon she'd be required to have. "Don't you have…things to do?"

"I do. Actually, I just left the control room. But while I was there, I saw you and Rylan leaving the armory. I thought it was weird. Normally, Brittney is there. When I looked it up, I realized you were there signing out a weapon and assigning it to Everly."

I glare at him.

Of course, he'd look it up. Like he had nothing better to do. "You have a problem with that? Are you afraid she'll shoot you?" I close my eyes and lean further back in the chair. I hope when I open them he'll be gone, but it's unlikely.

I'm right.

He's not.

"No, I'm not afraid Everly will shoot me. I'm just wondering…" He pauses and shoves the coffee away from him. "Is she going to continue training the class? The next one? Or is she taking on the leadership role full time?"

I shrug noncommittally.

He's just full of questions today.

"Why? Are you quitting?" I stare at him across the table.

"No." He shakes his head and smiles. It's forced and unnatural, and I'm probably the last person he'd want to smile at. But he seems to think we're allies now, and I can see it in his eyes that he won't ever forget what he did for me.

And now I owe him.

"Then why do you need to know?"

"Because, I work with her." He explains slowly, like I'm missing the point. "I thought maybe she wanted to do something else."

I dare say he looks a little bothered by this. It's not really noticeable. It's more the way he's speaking and looking to the side of me.

"No, she's fine. She likes…working there." I shake my head, hating that I'm saying those words.

But, to be completely honest, this isn't as terrible as it could have been. Normally, I'd have ripped him apart for questioning a decision I was making, especially when it came to Everly. But today, I must have a whole new slew of patience. I don't find him bothersome, simply as nosy as everyone else in this faction. "I'm sure she'll continue helping you. She seems to like training the initiates." I pause, and he looks marginally happier. If he could look happy. "I suppose she likes working with you. I haven't heard otherwise. Only that you were friends and she wasn't going to argue it."

His shoulders relax.

I want to smirk at him. The idea that he had a friend, other than his girlfriend who probably only tolerated him because his replacement had been a total failure, really brightened up his day.

"I was just thinking…" Four pauses, shrugging just as noncommittally as I had. "If something was going on that she needed a gun. Maybe something was happening."

I stare at him, then my coffee, then him again.

"You want to know about the meeting?" I watch him carefully, wondering who had tipped him off that his father was begging for our help. Or if he saw something on the cameras I didn't know about. "It was about Abnegation. Marcus thinks we're keeping information about Evelyn from him. He wants security. He's been bugging Harrison for it."

"Are you?" Four asks. He does his best to downplay his interest, but I know better.

"Yes." I respond honestly. His gaze flies up to me, curious and heavy. "But nothing major. A few minor riots. Some factionless, looking for a fight. Nothing he needs to know about."

"But you don't where Evelyn is?"

"No," I shake my head, sitting up straighter. "And that's not why I gave Everly a gun. She'll be heading out with the patrol squads soon. She'll need to be armed. I figured I should get a jump on it."

I find it oddly easy to sit here, telling him this. I can't justify why. I normally wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him, but he's formed a neat little alliance with my wife, and it's starting to seep over into my personal life.

And now, into my professional one as well.

"Well that explains it." He looks relieved, but not entirely. "Is the security picking up in Abnegation? Do you think Evelyn is going that way?"

"Personally?" I look right at him. "I do. I think she'll go after him. Tori and Harrison are going through there. I think Rylan wants to go. Said he wants to see the Priors."

Four's face tightens. He manages to look both surprised and bored, but he fails when he realizes Rylan can't be stopped. "Why? Does he know them?"

"No clue." I glance at my watch, noticing that my free time for today is quickly expiring. "For once, I'm not sure what he's doing."

"Great." Four mutters. I can only imagine what scenario is running through his head. "That's…interesting."

"It is." I stand up abruptly, and my neck itches. Like I've developed an allergy to him simply by sitting and talking to him like he isn't Four. "I'm late for lunch. You should probably get back to work."

I cock my eyebrow at him, and he cocks his right back. There's a very thin line of mutual…something here. Certainly not respect. Or comradery. More like a very silent, very unwilling truce on both our parts. More his, because I've never done anything to him that would warrant such a truce.

But after knowing what Marcus did, and why Four would be concerned about Everly needing a gun, I can accept it.

I do accept it.

I eye him as he stands up and reaches for his coffee.

"This tastes like shit, by the way." He points out, and I nod.

"You're right about that."

The two of us head out, and he walks along next to me. The urge to shove him out of the way and into the wall is still there, but I don't give in to it. We silently head out of the conference room, past Linda, and toward the same elevator. When it arrives, we push entirely different floors: I choose one higher, he chooses one lower.

He merely nods when I step out first, and I can't help but have the sinking feeling this is the start of something much larger than I ever could have imagined.

 

 

The sun feels disgustingly okay on my skin.

To my chagrin, I had been led up the stairs, outside, onto the roof. I was met with a warm breeze, bright sunlight pouring over the expansive area, and fluffy clouds. I hadn't been planning on coming out here, but Everly had insisted we venture outside for lunch. She'd shown up in my office all smiles, still in her sundress, and dragged me up to the rooftop. I eyed it all disdainfully; my uniform was hot, the roof was warm, but Everly wouldn't be. She was barely dressed, and she wouldn't be sweating underneath the heavy jacket and pants.

She smartly leads us to a spot that's half shaded. I watch her in amusement as she cheerfully shoves me back a step, then tries to push me to sit down. Eating lunch on the ground wasn't my idea of fun, but I had to admit it was nice outside. The air was still cool, but the sun gave off enough warmth that she wouldn't be cold. I watch her sit down carefully, on me, wiggling around until she is comfortable. Then she leans back, lounging against me as if we had all the time in the world.

Up here, away from the buzz of Dauntless, it felt like we did.

It only ever felt like this with her. Had anyone else tried to lure me outside like this, I would have laughed in their face. But Everly had a way of making the rest of the world disappear around us, and after this morning, I was fine with that.

"What did Max want?" Everly asks once it's clear we're staying here. She leans back further, giving me the chance to slide my arm around her waist. I pull her back tighter, until we are both comfortable. I can hear the interest in her voice, always curious, and rightfully so.

But her question makes me laugh.

Not at her.

At why the meeting was called.

"Marcus has been badgering Harrison about a security briefing. He wants an update on Evelyn because he thinks Max is purposely leaving him out of the loop. Max found that highly insulting."

"Well, is he?" Everly takes a bite of the sandwiches she's brought for us. They looked alright; sort of bland and boring, not anything I would ever choose. I glance down over her, at her bare legs against my uniform pants, and the way she pulls them up as she waits for me to answer.

"Yes."

I skim my fingers along her side, lazily. It's far better to be sitting here with her in my lap than eating in my office, even if I'll have a sunburn after this.

Everly swallows her lunch, then laughs at my answer. "Any reason why Max would feel like Marcus should be left out?"

I dig my fingers into her side, making her squirm. "I told him it's none of Marcus' concern. He doesn't need to know everything that's going on with Evelyn. Only things that pertain to the safety of Abnegation. Which, so far, has been nothing of consequence."

She tilts her head, her interest waning, but not enough to let it go. "But there have been new security updates in regard to Abnegation?" She pulls her sandwich apart, picking off the lettuce and examining it.

I let her question linger in the air.

She'll be heading out there soon. Into the wide open areas of the factions, the perfect target if you were looking for one. I'd learned I couldn't stop her, and I didn't have any reason to.

Except every single one that involved me losing her. This was a battle I couldn't win no matter what angle I looked at it from. I hated admitting out loud there was a chance Evelyn was plotting something soon, and that these tiny little security alerts would add up to something bigger.

"A few," I finally reveal, and my fingers tighten on her. "They've upped security patrols in case Evelyn shows up, but we think that's a long shot."

"Marcus doesn't need to know that?" Everly asks, and she seems done with her sandwich. A whole three bites, and now it's tossed to the side.

When I don't answer her, she sits up away from me. I close my eyes, enjoying the warmth of both her and the sun. I can feel it all around us, soaking into my exposed skin the longer we sit here.

Everly shifts on my lap, clearly wanting me to say something, but I don't. I let my mind wander, wondering if she ate outside like this in Amity. Did she spend her days lounging by the lakes, or perhaps eating on top of the large rock formations?

"Eric." Everly says my name, and when I don't answer, she says it again. Much louder. "ERIC."

"Everly," I answer her slowly, still focused on the imaginary image of her in Amity, enjoying the tan I was about to be getting. "I'm enjoying this weather. Why are you yelling?"

"Why don't you want Marcus to know anything?" She turns around further, and I open one eye at her.

"He doesn't deserve to know what Evelyn's doing. He won't play any part in taking her down, and he certainly won't be out actively looking for her. So he doesn't really need any special information passed his way."

She narrows her eyes.

Her dark hair falls around her in twisty waves. She looks lovely, lit up by the sun, even if she's implying my reasoning for not telling Marcus shit was something else entirely. "Is that really it?"

I open my other eye, refraining from scowling at her. "Don't think about it too hard, Amity. I'm not doing the Stiff any favors. This is purely business."

She smiles.

She leans in, until her nose touches mine. I'm not going out of my way to look out for Four, nor am I doing anything to protect him. I'm not above hoping Marcus gets fucked over, but that's for my own personal benefit.

I smile as Everly's nose brushes mine, and all I can smell is her stupid shampoo.

"I love you, Eric."

"Good," I announce, giving in and pressing my lips to hers. "I wouldn't eat outside for just anyone, you know."

She smiles against my kiss, having won two battles in one day.

I let her.

After spending a few days at each other's throats, I allow both of us to relish in this. Her, in getting me to spend my lunch hour outside with her, as well as thinking I was helping her little friend out.

Me, in enjoying something as simple as getting to spend this time with her.

It seems like a luxury, and I refuse to spend another minute of it talking about Marcus or Evelyn.

Or Four.

 

 

Daniel calls right before I head to bed.

I answer him on the third ring, watching Everly choose from a large selection of pink things to wear to bed. I smirk while she holds one up, the fabric so sheer there's really no point in her even putting it on, but I'm thrown off when Daniel asks if Everly is drinking whatever Eden sent her.

"Not that I'm aware of."

I watch Everly finally settle on one. She pulls her tank top off, facing away from me, and her hair falls down to her lower back. She slides the pink material over her head, then glances back at me. I smirk at her, and she grins when she heads past me and into the bathroom.

"Well, I'd be worried, honestly. I'm not sure she should be ingesting any of that. There's no possible way of telling if it's expired or if it has a shelf life. Even the most basic of ingredients wouldn't last very long if…"

"I wouldn't worry." I interrupt him, too tired to think about Everly drinking whatever was in our cabinet. I'd never seen her drink anything but coffee to wake herself up, and she'd warned Jason and Rylan not to drink Eden's tea.

But there was the nagging thought that these weren't what Daniel was thinking. They weren't slime with crushed up herbs floating in them. They looked an awful lot like serums, a little more complicated than I'd imagine someone from Amity cooked in their kitchen.

There was also the note, implying Eden had been slipping Everly birth control without her knowing. I wasn't sure which was better, a fertility tea or a birth control tea but I could appreciate Eden's logic considering Everly would have been with Landon at the time.

"I just…I'm…I was thinking about Everly today and I wanted to call you before she drank them." He sounds mildly panicked, and I wonder where he is. There's no way he's at home, openly speaking about Everly like this. "I was also wondering if maybe you'd be up for coming here. We could have lunch or dinner if you both could make it this way. I could clear my schedule."

His words hit a nerve I liked to pretend didn't exist and my shoulders tense up. He didn't mean the words to be offensive; he's actually trying to make an effort, opening up time for us when he didn't have any.

But it was the idea that he didn't have time, and never had. That every attempt to see him had resulted in being told later, or when he has a moment. It stings in a way it shouldn't, a way I'd always ignored because I knew better than to get my hopes up.

The worst thing was to feel hopeful when it came to him.

"If we can. I'll take a look. We're both busy for the next few weeks. She's finishing up some training and I'm…out…with the squads." I lie, cocking my head and listening as Everly brushes her teeth. "Thank you for the offer. If I can find the chance to squeeze it in, I will."

I lie to him again. I don't like the idea of taking Everly to another faction just for lunch. I'd done it once before, to a dinner that made me feel murderous, and I'd left vowing to never speak to them again. I shake my head, pulling the phone away to yank my shirt off. When I put the phone back, he's still talking, and I catch the end of it.

"Maybe next week? Or the one after?"

"Sure. I'll see." I turn to find Everly standing there, her nightgown already sliding down her shoulder. "Have a good night."

"You too, Eri-"

I hang up on him before he can finish saying my name. I toss the phone onto the bed without looking, and I lunge for Everly, smiling widely when she yelps in surprise. I fully intend to have a good night, one better than anyone could imagine.

 

 

My good mood carries over into the morning, until it's ruined by Max.

I glare at the email on my phone, then his text, then his actual call. I answer it while I sit at my desk, wondering if he knew I was here. Everly had gone downstairs with Rylan to find some breakfast, and I'd stayed put, trying to finish reading Karl's evaluations from his last route.

"You know why she has to go, don't you?"

I stare at the screen on my computer, violently scrolling down through Karl's report. A few names stick out, and I stop to jot them down. These are the men and women Everly will head out with, and I want to research them before handing her over.

"I'm aware it's a section of the training she has to complete." I answer blandly. "But is it necessary for her to complete it? Not right now."

"She can't be in your program forever, Eric." Max retorts, and I hear him rifling through some papers. "I agree the timing isn't ideal, but you know Karl will keep her safe. She can command them through a basic route. Nothing crazy."

"Safe is a fun word, now isn't it?" I recline back in my seat. "Four was supposed to keep her safe, too. Look how that went over."

"Eric, I'm aware that you're concerned for her safety. But this isn't negotiable, and you know it." Max's tone is firm, and I know I'm not getting out of this. I could put it off forever and piss him off, but he'd eventually make her go.

"Fine." I bark, and I hang up before he can continue protesting to me how safe she'd be.

Out there.

In the wide open.

While this silent, drawn out war continued.

 

 

A day later, we return to the roof.

The air is just as pleasant as last time, cool and breezy with a hint of warmth to it. The sky is bright blue, almost too vibrant as we emerge from the darkness of the stairwell. Everly walks in front of me, and I keep my hand on her lower back, pushing her onward. Occasionally, it threatens to slide lower, down over the leggings she'd worn instead of a dress. I'd noticed her put them on this morning, and while they weren't exactly gun training appropriate, I didn't mind them at all.

The soldiers who watched her walk by didn't seem to mind, either. A few dark looks from me sent them scrambling back to work instead of checking out her butt, and I'd returned to walking as close as possible to her.

Now, she stands there, gazing out in the distance over the city. Her hair is pulled up, and she seems to soak up the sun with great enthusiasm.

I don't quite share it.

After hanging up with Max, his email had followed. So had Karl's. Both were confirming her joining the patrol squads and they shared the same enthusiastic tone, but for different reasons. Karl was both psyched to have her join them and thrilled at this chance to redeem himself. I'd be entrusting him with her life, something he knew I wouldn't take lightly, and this was a way to make up for not shooting Colton.

Max was enthused because she would be out of my hands. He liked when she was off doing other things, receiving the full and complete leadership experience from someone else. He was probably hoping she'd breeze through this and would return and readily take Brittney's place.

And while I fully believed she was ready for all of it, heading out on a patrol route, being bored out of her skull while she stomped through the woods looking for factionless, taking over for another leader, shooting people, and finding this independence she'd wanted –I wasn't.

I was not willing to lose her all over again, and I never would be.

What made it even worse was this was being taken right out of my hands. I had no choice but to push her through the program I signed her up for and encourage her to do her best so she'd stay alive and return to me.

I watch her stare out over the city that she'll be patrolling, and the familiar tightening in my chest starts all over again. I push it away, and I figure I might as well get this over with.

"You ready for this?" I ask, stepping closer behind her.

She turns around to nod at me, and her lips turn up.

They stay that way while we work through the training.

I go about it the same way as before. It's easier to show her while I'm behind her, and I press myself right against her back. I knee her legs further apart, forcing her into a more natural stance, and I wrap my hands around hers. Her hands are small in mine, even smaller when she leans back against me.

I close my eyes for a split second.

This is fine now. She knows I've always got her back, but out there, she'll be on her own. She'll have others with her, but they won't look out for her the way I have. Not even on my orders or the death threats I'd leave for them.

"Alright, Amity this is important. Out there, you won't have long to figure out where to aim. You'll go off instinct, deciding what your goal is. Are you aiming to kill? To stun? To frighten them off? You'll have a mere second to decide, and when you do, don't second guess yourself." I adjust her hands, making sure her aim is accurate, and when I'm certain she's where she needs to be, I instruct her to shoot.

She fires with total confidence.

The sound of the gun is loud in the still air, and she steadies herself from the recoil. I'm proud of her. She stands still, her shoulders strong, her spine straight, and her aim accurate. She looks pleased when the bullet hits the target, slicing right through the bull's eye.

"The patrols are picking up this week. You're going to head out on one in a few days." I bend down to say the words in her ear. We're the only ones out here, but this feels like a warm little secret I'm letting her in on. One I don't like. My next words are hard to say out loud, but completely necessary. "In the event that you come across Evelyn, or anyone associated with Evelyn, you'll be expected to shoot without hesitation."

I let go of her.

I step away, behind her, until she realizes this will all be on her.

Everly nods her head, and there is a moment of serious contemplation as it sinks in that she might actually have to shoot someone. That she might see someone from Evelyn's army –someone looking for her, or Evelyn herself.

"You'll aim to stun her, disarm her, and slow her down. We don't want her dead…" I pause when she fires the gun again, and it lands dead center. "But if that's the case, then we'll take it."

"Should I expect her to shoot first?" She looks at me, but her gaze is far away.

My jaw tightens. "You'd know better than we would. All our soldiers are being told to expect her to attack first. She'll be on the defensive, after all."

"And you're okay with me going out on this patrol, possibly running into her?" Everly shakes her head, looking at me skeptically. I'm sure she's wondering how I'm good with this, and the short answer is I'm not. The long answer is also I'm not, but it's out of my hands.

My exhale is heavy and expected. "It's not my choosing. Part of your training requires you to know how to oversee a patrol squad, and Max stressed that you needed to complete that section of your training."

She smiles, and I scowl right back at her. "Lose the grin, Amity. I would volunteer my services to oversee that part of your training…" I pause, staring at the sun and wishing it would burn Max's head off the next time he went outside. "But Max believes you will have a more realistic experience if I am not there."

"I agree with Max," Everly answers brightly, and she looks excited at the prospect of heading out. "I think it'll be great practice."

"I don't. Which is why you'll oversee a squad very close to Dauntless for a very short amount of time," I snap at her, but it's not really at her. Max had cornered me early this morning, grinning as he confirmed which route Everly would take. His grin had faded when he saw I wasn't at all pleased, and I'd gotten a lecture on how important this was.

"Of course," Everly smiles, and she rises up on her toes. Her lips touch mine, sweetly, but briefly. "I wouldn't expect anything else."

I smile tightly at her.

I might have agreed to it, because I had no choice, but that didn't mean I wouldn't know what was going on every second of that patrol.

 

 

"She's going out with one of the patrol squads? When?" Rylan flops down on the couch beside me, and he eyes me critically. "You're really letting her?"

"End of the week. And I don't have a choice. Max told me she had to complete that part of the program regardless of what was going on, and even better, that I have to stay here."

I glare at him, though it's not meant for him. He'd come over with the promise of beers and nachos, and I was more than fine with that. Everly had gone to eat dinner with Tris, and I'm sure they'd have an exciting time together discussing Four. I was mildly interested in her visit, only because I kept hearing how tired Tris was. How crappy she'd been looking. I knew Kacie had been fucking with the schedule, and Tris seemed to be getting the worst of it. It was well known that Tris and Four never worked together, and Kacie refused to even let them pass by each other during the shift change.

I idly wondered if she had the hots for Four and was hoping if she made Tris die of exhaustion, she'd have a chance.

"And you didn't lose it on him?" Rylan leans back, taking a huge bite of the nachos. He looks so content in this moment, that he closes his eyes, and proceeds to drip cheese everywhere. I throw a napkin at him, hoping he won't ruin my couch. "I'm shocked you're letting her go. It seems risky now. It's quiet, but we all know the silence is never good. It means she's plotting something."

"I don't have a choice. It is part of her program." I point out. I glare at him again as he wipes cheese off his arm. "I'm not worried so much about her. I know she can shoot a gun. It's the lack of experience that bothers me. She may have killed Colton, but she got lucky. He was one person. Evelyn has a whole army out there, and Everly would be a fantastic prize to bring home." I lean back, shaking my head to rid it of the image of Everly standing over Colton's dead body and the imagined image of Everly being drug back to the factionless.

"Yeah, seems too stupid to push for it now. Is it because of Brittney?" Rylan reaches for his beer, and drinks down half of it. "That chick is off her rocker. I went down there to get a band aid and I could hear her shrieking at Arlene."

"Good." I laugh, but I feel the tiniest, most miniscule speck of sympathy for Arlene. She might oversee the infirmary, but that didn't mean she wanted to listen to Brittney scream for hours. "Who knows? I'm sure Max will insist we all pick up whatever Brittney was supposed to be doing."

"Okay well I don't have time for that. He's already got me trying to fix some fuck up with the alarms. They keep going off and he thinks Brittney is doing it somehow." Rylan ponders the work we'll be forced to finish then he shrugs. "And Everly? You're trusting everyone to keep an eye on her?"

I nod. "As much as I can. But I'll watch the patrol. There's no way I'm letting Everly out there and not checking in. I can pull a backup squad to follow behind them, but I don't want her to think I don't trust her."

"Sounds a little Four-ish if you ask me." Rylan looks at me with a wide smile. "How is your favorite little friend? Is he doing well? Anything else you two agree on?"

"Nah," I reach for my own beer. "He asked about the meeting. He must have either seen Harrison screaming on the phone or something up in the control room. I don't think he wants his daddy poking around here."

"Who does?" Rylan snickers. "Even you don't want Daniel here."

"Would you?" I turn to look at him, and this conversation takes a sharply serious turn. "Am I supposed to just trust that he won't fuck me over again? Or that he won't bail on Everly?" I pause, feeling a familiar flash of rage at him. "I mean, if he cancels…"

"He hasn't though, right?" Rylan reaches for more nachos, and he eats them like a wild animal. "I mean, he's trying. He's kept his word so far and he's sneaking around on Blythe. We all know she'd behead him if she found out."

"True." I relent, and I stare at him intently. "You have cheese all over your face."

"Good." Rylan laughs, and the tension over Daniel is once again gone. "Cut your old man some slack. He's gotta hobble over here from Erudite. You're over thinking it. I mean, obviously if he does something stupid then you can be mad. Otherwise, I'd just enjoy that he's trying. It won't last forever. Eventually, he's gonna get caught."

"And what a day that will be." I smirk, imagining Blythe's horrific rage when she found out his business meetings weren't with his coworkers in Erudite, but in Dauntless. With Everly and me.

"Do you think they'll find anything out there?" Rylan changes the subject back to the patrol and shoves the plate at me. "Eat some more. I didn't bring anything else for dinner. And I heard these were low-carb."

"That's highly doubtful." I take one chip, deciding I'll make something after he leaves. "Do you mean, do I think they'll run into Evelyn? No, I don't." I answer honestly. "But I do think they'll see a few factionless. It would be odd not to."

Rylan nods.

Truth be told, I was starting to grow frustrated with this entire fiasco. We should have found her by now, or at least someone who knew where she was. I felt like we'd searched every inch of the factions. We knew her original compound had been blown up, by her own hand, and it wasn't like we had another empty lot just waiting for her to take it over. Not to mention her army had to be fairly decent sized. Even with as many as we'd killed, it would be a noticeable amount to just arrive at a faction and try to blend in.

The only two factions that might be willing to hide them would be Amity or Abnegation. But Abnegation had Marcus fearing for his life, and Amity was under our scrutiny.

And unless Landon was about to rise from the dead and spill his secrets, we didn't have any other leads.

"Yeah, I'm sure. They've been laying low according to Karl, but he thinks something's up." Rylan offers. He's trying to help, but his words aren't making this situation any better.

"We'll see." I mutter, and I shove the nachos back at him. "Where's Christina?"

"Working." He answers with a mouthful of chips, and he looks insulted. "She wanted to hang out after. I told her maybe."

I roll my eyes, but I find myself not entirely irritated at the idea of them together. Despite their refusal to label anything, and Rylan's commitment to not being committed, they seemed good for each other. Plus, out of everyone in the faction, Christina was someone who'd looked out for Everly with a protectiveness that rivaled my own.

Rylan notices my lack of attention, and the next thing I know, there's a chip thrown at my head. I would bark at him to clean this shit up, but I find myself laughing. Really laughing, until he throws another, and the cheese flies everywhere.

He might be acting like a moron, but the thought of Evelyn vanishes completely as instead I focus on how the fuck I'm going to get this out of my couch.

 

 

They're right.

Tris does look like shit.

I bump into her while walking down the hallway, and I immediately regret taking this direction. She drags her gaze up from the ground, and she looks at me with such exhaustion, that I fear Kacie might have really done it.

Maybe she had killed her.

Maybe I'd been hanging around with Jason for too long, but in that moment, I fully believed Tris Prior to be a zombie.

Her eyes are glassy, heavy with the urge to shut them, and she sort of mumbles a weak, halfhearted apology at me. There isn't her usual flash of suspicion or even the barest hint of disdainful mistrust thrown in my direction.

Simply an extreme tiredness that only compliments her green complexion.

I immediately decide to ban Everly from hanging out with her ever again.

 

 

The next few days slip by quickly.

Everly and I spend time bulldozing our way through the reports she'll need to know about. She's patient as we work through them one by one, even when her attention wanes as they get more and more repetitive. I show her who needs a response right away –Jack Kang and Quinten, and I show her who she can get back to in a more leisurely time frame. We practice shooting again, once more on the roof, and I feel somewhat more confident that she'll be just fine.

I might be the only one not fine with it, but I had no choice but to be.

We both attend a meeting about Brittney, one no one is happy with. Rylan and Jason were chosen to take over for her until further notice, and they were both immediately inundated with a shit ton of work she'd been neglecting to do.

Which unfortunately, spreads them both a little thin, given their current workload.

"How are we going to handle this little fiasco?" Max looks around the room, and his gaze falls to me. I push at my temples, already feeling the headache coming on. He's already realized we don't have time for this. Between trying to find Evelyn, trying to keep up security everywhere, and doing our day to day jobs, suddenly taking over for Brittney isn't exactly something anyone wants to jump on. Had I not been pissed off at him for forcing me to let Everly head out as part of her training, I might have offered up something to help him. I could easily blow through whatever Brittney hadn't turned in and sign off on half of it without looking.

Instead, I ignore him.

I tune him out, only listening when he says he'll check in with Arlene and see if there's any hope for her return.

The room is silent, even more so when he drones on about the security updates. Next to me, Everly starts to wilt. I can see the attention draining from her, and she slinks down in her seat. She tenses up when Max's voice raises a few octaves to announce our lunch break, then slumps against me when I reach for her fingers.

I pull her in closer, and I hiss at her so no one else can hear me.

"We'll eat lunch at home."

I glance over at her, and she looks exactly how I feel. Like I've been put through the ringer, and my brain has slowly dried up from listening to all this talk about nothing. I tighten my grip on her hand, ignoring the burn of Linda's pressing stare, until Everly nods at me.

"Sure. We can go home."

"Okay."

My answer is as short as my patience, and I pull her up along with me, not bothering to wait for the rest of what Max has to say.

 

 

In a moment of utter genius, I decide _fuck lunch._

I'm not particularly hungry, and Everly doesn't seem to be starving. I silently promise to make her something in an hour, because I have a better idea. We arrive home quicker than I expect, and I all but drag her into the bedroom. She looks at me curiously as I throw my jacket onto the dresser, and I motion for her to do the same.

She happily follows me.

A minute later, she curls up with her head on my chest, and the exhaustion is quick to wash over both of us. I blame the boredom. The grueling and never ending droll of listening to others talk about these threats, and the anxious waiting for their words to come true.

I blame my own unease over sending Everly out without me.

The thought of what will happen if Brittney doesn't return.

The puzzle of whatever the fuck Eden is making in Amity.

The unrelenting distrust that Daniel won't show up when he says he will.

All of it.

It becomes too much, and I fall asleep with one of my hands fisted in Everly's hair, and she falls asleep right along with me.

 

 

On Friday, Everly wears pants.

She looks just like every other soldier heading out, but also like no one else. They've been made to fit her, but she looks different in them. Harsher. Sharper. More serious. All things I don't normally see when I look at her.

I smile tightly before pressing the gun into the palm of her hand. I'd already made sure I knew exactly where she was going and for how long. I'd spoken with Karl at length about what would happen if she didn't return. And I'd personally visited a few of his friends, doing nothing but throwing some dark stares their way until they knew why I was watching them.

Because if anything happened, I'd kill them all.

"Good luck today." I stare at her, her hair too pretty and her eyes too bright. She smiles back at me, hopeful and optimistic as ever.

I know she's thinking this will be fine.

Easy.

Routine.

A well-planned route, not too far from Dauntless. Soldiers who worked this route daily. Her friend, larger and more lethal than ever despite his cheerful grin.

What could possibly go wrong?

"Thanks, Eric." Everly smiles even brighter, and before I can bark at her to stay in the truck or right by Karl's side, she throws her arms around me. She holds on tightly, her head in the middle of my chest and her cheek against my jacket. It takes me a second to grasp onto her, mostly because I know that when I do, I won't want to let her go.

"I'll call you as soon as I'm done. Then we can go home and have dinner. And I'll read a book while you work, and then we'll go to bed." She talks quickly, an amusing attempt to get me to relax. I know she's trying to reassure me it'll be fine, and she holds onto me tighter the longer she talks.

"Be careful out there," I try not to sound like an ass. I know she's prepared and it's not like she'll be gone for days. "If you have any problems, just shoot whoever you run into. I'll make sure no one questions whatever you need to do."

She lifts her head and tilts her gaze up to meet mine. She smiles, looking far lovelier than I've ever seen her. "Eric, we talked about killing people who come too close to me."

I smile right back at her. The automatic one, unforced and all because of her. I bend my head down, and one of my hands grasps the back of her head to push her closer to me. My nose brushes against hers for a moment, slowly and far more gently than I should be capable of, until my lips press against hers.

"You didn't disagree."

She smiles wider at my reminder, and for the moment, both of us are pacified this will turn out just fine.

Eventually, I let go of her.

 

 

She looks miniscule next to Karl.

I lean back in the chair, and Rylan leans in closer to me. He shoves my arm out of the way, then points to Everly. "Has she always been that short?"

"Yes," Jason answers for me, taking a seat on the other side. We've already kicked out three people working in this section, and that left Four, Kacie, and a few others to cover for them. From his post a few seats down, Four throws us one irritated look, and we all ignore him. "I've told you that since she got here. She's awfully small. Where did you even find that uniform?"

"The kid's section." Rylan laughs, and he snaps his fingers at Four. "Hey, you. Scowly. Can you get my popcorn? I heard the microwave beep."

"Hey, you." Four flashes him a wide smile and pretends to be enthused. "Fuck off. I'm working. Get it yourself."

"Rude." Rylan mutters, and he looks at me. "Eric, make him get my snacks."

"Go get them yourself." I throw him a dirty look, not particularly up for defending Four, but also not in the mood to mediate whatever shit Rylan was starting. "He's covering for the people we told to leave. You can get your own food."

"You know, you could all watch this in your office. I bet if you ask Kacie, she'll set it up for you." Four points out. He types away at the screen in front of him, and then sighs. "Are you going to stay and watch the entire time they're out there? The patrols last for hours."

Rylan throws him one long, suffering look, until Jason clears his throat. "Hey, Rylan come on. Let's grab some drinks, too. He's right. We could be here a while."

"Great." Four mutters, and he presses his hands over his eyes. "So you are staying."

"All day." Rylan declares loudly, and he shoves his seat back. "Eric, you want a drink?"

"Sure." I answer him without looking. I'm more focused on Everly, looking up at Karl while the group forms around them. Karl looks fine; completely at ease, and not at all stressed out. Everly looks enthused, until Peter joins them. He purposely bumps into her, and it takes everything in me not to storm down there and rip his head off.

"Hey, we'll be back. In a bit."

I look up to see Jason eyeing me, trying to nod and silently convey that he knew there was a reason Rylan was acting like this. I can only assume it's because of everything going on, and I nod my head at Jason. I have the faint idea he's about to drag him somewhere to keep him away from Four. I silently admire his ability to tell this was going to be a shit show if they both stayed.

"Is your friend always that…charming?"

I look up and over, to see Four heading toward me. I guess there must be a memo that had gone out asking for people to come sit by me, because he takes Rylan's seat like I invited him over.

"He's stressed. There's a lot going on. Or maybe he's just too tired to walk to the breakroom." I answer without thinking about what I'm saying. I know Rylan was acting obnoxious, but he couldn't help it. Everyone was on edge, and he chose to handle it by making Four his snack bitch.

Four nods his head and clicks away at the screen in front of him. "Hit F6. It'll give you an aerial view in the corner. This route they're taking isn't anything crazy, but we watch ahead. We can give them a head's up if we see anyone."

"Okay."

My answer is gruffly unappreciative considering he's telling me he's helping to make sure nothing happens. Even though this is his job, there's a hint of personalness to keeping an eye on this specific patrol.

I sit there, watching in silence as Peter and Everly talk. Peter doesn't look happy at all. His face tightens when she says something, and Karl snickers when he leaves. The two of them talk for a moment, and my insides tense up when they head toward the trucks.

"Does she know how to drive that?" Four asks, and I look at him like he's insane.

"No." I snap, wondering if he's serious. "Does Tris? Did you teach her how to drive it? Can you drive one? Is that how you got-"

"Don't say it." Four interrupts. "I didn't take the trucks to the factionless. I walked."

I roll my eyes at the idea of him walking that far, and he's not amused.

"But yes, I can drive one. I don't think Tris knows how. I could show her, I suppose. If she wanted to learn."

I eye him out of the corner of my eye. I honestly could not bring myself to care if Tris knew how to drive a truck or not. I have a feeling she would be about as great at it as Everly, and I had my doubts about that.

"I saw her the other day. She looked terrible." I announce, and his expression darkens. "To answer your question, no, I'm not teaching Everly how to drive it. With my luck, she'd run over half the patrol squad and I don't think I can cover that up."

To my surprise, Four laughs. He ignores that I've insulted his girlfriend, but he's entertained that I would potentially try to cover up a case of vehicular manslaughter.

"I'm sure you could." He mutters, and he types into the chat on the screen. I can see him informing everyone that things are all clear up ahead, and to proceed as normal. "And Tris hasn't been feeling well. Her shifts are all over the place. We lost some people at night, and she's been working mornings and then coming back."

My answer is a noncommittal grunt. When it came to Tris Prior, there were a lot of things I didn't care about, including what she worked. I just know Everly returned from their dinner telling me Tris had fallen asleep, and I had laughed. Four must be loving having two friends who could barely stay awake through the evening.

I reach into my pocket as my phone buzzes, and I read the message from Jason. He informs me that Rylan is now distracted by a fight in the Pit, and they'll be back later. There's a wave of relief I wasn't expecting with his words. I thank him, promise him the next round of drinks is on me, and I shove my phone in my pocket.

"Are they coming back?" Four asks, and I turn my head to look at him slowly.

"No. There's a fight in the Pit they're going to watch. It's probably for the best." I lean back in the chair, and I watch Karl drive the truck down the road. I bounce my knee up and down, and the antsy-ness is overwhelming.

"I have to be here all day. If you want, I'll keep an eye on them. If I see anything at all, I can call you. They're scheduled to be gone for six hours." Four speaks evenly, busied with the screen. "I know you want to make sure nothing happens to her but believe me when I tell you this is going to be boring."

"I believe you. But I'm not leaving. I can sit here all day." I cross my arms over my chest and glare at him.

He looks back at me and nods his head.

"I don't doubt you can."

 

 

Three hours later, I'm about to lose my mind out of sheer boredom.

I refuse to move; Four and I are in a silent sit off, and I won't be the loser. Occasionally he stands up, stretching or leaving to grab coffee, but he always returns. Right next to me. He keeps his stare on the same screens, watching the same feed, with the same expression on his face.

Boredom.

Together, Four and I watch them drive to another location that's the furthest point away from Dauntless. The trucks park in a neat formation, then the soldiers pile out, gathering around in small groups to talk amongst themselves. Everly sticks close to Karl, and they talk while he waits for everyone to arrive. I can't make out what they're saying, nor do I really care.

My head protests this entire thing with a flash of dull pain.

Jason and Rylan had yet to return.

I'm sure there were other things I could be doing. I could be actually working. Going over the stuff Brittney was supposed to have completed or responding to my own emails. Looking at next week's schedule. Anything other than sitting here, watching grainy footage while Four ate his Lunchable.

"You really gonna stick this out? We've got another…" he pauses to look at his watch. "three hours to go before they're back."

"They'll be back sooner than that." I announce, and I recline back to stare at him. "They're returning now. All soldiers are needed back here." I flash him a blinding smile, pleased as ever that I would be leaving the control room, and he would be staying. "Enjoy the rest of your shift. I'll be in my office."

He doesn't say anything.

He watches me leave, my smile still in place, and when he thinks I'm not looking, he shakes his head.

There's no doubt he knows I've called them back, and even less doubt that I've assigned them another route to take on.

Minus Everly.

She'd gotten to experience the thrilling chase of scoping out an area, and that was enough for today.

I smile all the way back to my office, and I keep smiling right up until I'm alerted Everly has returned to Dauntless.


	47. Jeremy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO much to Bamberlee for editing! (For probably 40 hours straight.)
> 
> Thanks to everyone for your patience while waiting for this chapter. I had a weird week while trying to finish this up. My new car had to get a new rear view mirror (dumb), I had an allergic reaction to my manicure (dumber), and I had to actually work (dumbest.)
> 
> Thanks to all who reviewed the last chapter💕
> 
> Just a note: I'd suggest splitting this one in half 😉
> 
> Happy Weekend!

"What?"

I bark the word into the phone, typing away diligently while waiting for my wife to return. I had to say, I was feeling rather smug in this moment. Other than Max calling to nag me about something, I felt like I'd handled today rather well. I'd spent far too much time with Four, though that couldn't entirely have been avoided. I'd watched Everly's patrol and was pleased to report not a single thing had happened. Karl had done his job. Harrison was nowhere to be found. Jason had kept Rylan from fighting Four over snack time.

And Everly was about to return.

"Eric Coulter." The voice on my phone is low, snapping my name with an odd amount of impatience.

"Yes? Did you need something?" I snap right back at them, still cheerfully typing away.

Once I knew Everly would be fine –after all, Karl couldn't really fuck up the drive back home, I returned to my office. I spent some time breezing through a few inquiries from Quinten, approving his lunch menu before telling him he' have to submit the same one to Everly in a few days. I read a message from Jack, hinting he'd love to come by, and I shrug to myself.

Why not?

I didn't really want him poking around in my office, but I felt like placating him was better than having him think I was ignoring him.

"Did you call back-"

"You have the wrong number." I answer smoothly, then I hang up.

I return to my computer screen, quickly typing up a reply, when there is a knock on my door. I keep typing, knowing it's Everly, but wanting to finish this before I talked to her. I'm sure she would be happy after completing her first patrol, and I didn't want to put a damper on her excitement. Before I can hit send, an email appears over it, and I sigh in disgust.

Andrew Prior.

My hopes of getting out of here early wither away, and I stretch my head from side to side. I read his words, written on a shared, public computer and I wonder if he thought this through before he sent it.

Probably not.

It was clear though, that Rylan must have sent him over the edge.

"Eric."

I look up to see Everly standing in front of me, her hands on her hips. I eye her up and down, quickly and carefully. There are no visible signs of trauma. Not a single scratch or scrape, and I'd dare say she looks the same as she did this morning.

I smile at her, pleased she was just fine.

"Everly. Welcome back." I glance back at my computer, and I type my reply to Andrew. I inform him the new security is just fine, and I'll make the final decision over how many patrols come through there. I hope he gets what I'm saying, but I doubt he will. I hit send, and I stand up, heading straight for her. "How did it go?"

"It went fine." She looks at me, wary of my intense scrutiny of what I can see. I move her hair off her shoulder, pushing it back so I can see her neck, and there's not a single mark on her.

"I would expect it to have gone well. It seemed rather mundane." I stare at her eyes, noticing them fight to stay open when my fingers graze her neck. The skin there is warm, both from the sun and her hair, and she unconsciously leans into my touch.

"It was really interesting to see what they do on a daily basis," She swallows, continuing to pretend that a life of walking for hours on end was fascinating. I'm sure she saw some new things, but none of them would have been anything to write home about.

"I suppose." My fingers slide lower. Beneath her ear, pleased when she squirms. I close the minute distance between us, until I'm right against her. My office seems small; the walls feel like they close in and the ceiling lowers down, trapping us right here. "You didn't find anything?" I lazily trace down to the collar of her jacket, hating that she has it on. "Or anyone?"

"No. But I didn't think we would." Everly looks up at me, her gaze as sharp as ever. She blinks when I resume my path to her neck, then into the hair at the nape of her neck. My fingers curl in possessively, gently prodding her to look up at me. "So, it should be fine if I'm ever asked to go again, because I did really well."

My fingers tighten, rooting deep within her dark hair.

"No."

"Yes," She answers back immediately, her defiance adorable and unnecessary right now. "Karl said I could be helpful since I might see something they wouldn't normally notice."

I don't mean to mock her, ever. I know without a doubt she did her best, and she probably did notice things he didn't see. But that didn't mean she needed to go back out there. "I'm sure Karl would find it very helpful if you tagged along on all his patrols."

I emphasize his name, ignoring her eye roll.

I knew he was her friend, and I'd appreciated his help.

But I didn't need him encouraging her to go back.

"Don't be mean." Everly reaches for my jacket, dismissing my disdain for her newest plan. "Besides, he's a really great leader of his patrol squad."

"Fantastic for him."

It's all I can say before I lean down, and my lips touch hers. More so now than ever, there's something beyond the normal possessiveness behind this kiss. It's full of longing and want, having missed her while she was gone, but also reminding her I could distract her just as easily as she distracted me.

If Everly Coulter wanted to play dirty, then so could I.

After all, she'd learned from the best.

I pull her back a step, until I can sit down in my desk chair, and she falls right onto my lap. I do take off her jacket, the fabric heavy and stiff and so unlike her that I have the sudden desire to return it to Christian, and she laughs when I toss it onto my desk.

She stops laughing when I sink my teeth into her neck, and I remind her just how well I liked it when she was here.

With me.

 

 

 

An hour later, I wonder if I could frame Four for murder.

He'd tried to do it to me once.

It hadn't worked, because we weren't total morons, but I was smarter than him anyway. I could make it look like it was him. I'm sure I could yank some of his hair out without him knowing, or at the very least, lift his finger prints off one of the computer screens. But it would be easy to place all the evidence, including a sad little note, in Max's office and have someone like Harrison conveniently find it.

I think of all this as I sit across from Max, cheerfully informing us that Everly was to return to the patrol squads.

He doesn't so much say it as he does talk about how pleased he is. He hints that it's gone well, that Everly did a fantastic job, and how beneficial it was to have her along. I realize why he's leading with all these gooey acclamations for her, but it doesn't work on me.

I would normally have seen this coming. But I was painfully distracted once I realized Rylan was sulking around because he thought there was a chance I'd actually become friends with Four. His message, a lengthy block of text without a single paragraph or indent sent my head spinning. He'd always been needy, but never like this. Never so worked up, sending page after page of proof that Four was up to something and was tricking me, and his final message asks if I really thought I could replace him, Rylan, with Four.

I type back fuck no. Then I tell him to stop being ridiculous. I'd spent the day with Four, and he wasn't plotting anything except how to get everyone out of the control room. Rylan immediately responds with SEE, I KNEW YOU WERE HIS FRIEND, and I decide this can only be settled one way.

By killing Four.

Which means Max will live to see another day.

For now.

"You did a great job out there, Everly." Max grins at her, and she smiles back.

"I didn't really do much. I just went along with them." She shrugs, not really understanding his sudden euphoria over her going out with them. "But I did enjoy the experience."

"Good." He crosses one leg over the other, and he glances at me for a split second. I've barely lifted my stare from the phone, watching Rylan's texts pour in. I skim the one that says something about friends forever, and I quickly try to reassure him nothing would be any different. I hadn't gone out of my way to even be nice to Four. I'd only wanted to avoid Rylan stirring up shit while we sat there. "You'll be joining two more in the next couple of weeks or so. One near section three, and one near the border of section five."

It takes me a second too long to really hear what he's saying. I'd only been half listening since we came in here, and Rylan's meltdown had taken up most of my focus. But he has my full attention now. "No. She doesn't need to go on any more patrols. Especially not section five."

Everly's head snaps to look at me. Her stare is hotly accusatory as I dismiss what Max has said, and her stare feels like daggers.

She shouldn't worry.

He looks at me, then her, then reaches for his coffee.

"This is an order. Section five is fairly close to where she was taken. We want Everly's opinion on whether things look different at all. There is a small group of factionless that's been spotted there off and on. You yourself pushed for an extra patrol over there, and I've made the decision to send her with them. She'll be of great help even if they find nothing."

I sit up straighter, forgetting all about Rylan and his momentary lapse of sanity.

"Are you fucking insane?" I look at Max darkly, forcing myself to stay sitting down in this chair. "You want her to go back to where Colton dragged her out of here? You think I'd let her go there?"

"All leaders are required to complete three separate patrols. That's an abysmally low number for someone who should have an impressive knowledge of the area. In fact, she needs to have a complete understanding of how to run a patrol squad if the need should arise. While I'm well aware of the situation regarding her abduction, she's to complete both patrols within the next few weeks."

My hands tighten into fists.

Sometimes, he appeared to be sort of smart.

Other times, I swore he was the dumbest motherfucker in this city.

"She'll be fine," Max speaks slowly, and I bite down on my jaw so hard I can hear something crunch. "She'll be with a well-trained patrol squad. She'll be armed. It'll be good for both of you."

He looks down at me, and his expression is firm. So is his tone. There has to be a reason he wants her there, other than he likes to make my life miserable.

"Okay," Everly answers, and I'd almost forgotten she was sitting beside me. My head whips around to look at her. Her small self in the oversized chair, her long hair falling down past her shoulders, and I blink. She was agreeing to it, probably not knowing she could refuse. She could ask for a different route. She could tell him she didn't want to go back there. There are a million things she could say, but she's saying okay, because she wants to go. Because she still wants to prove something to someone, and she's not backing down.

I stare at her, wondering how an hour ago, I was enjoying her on my lap, and now, I'm ready to punch someone.

"Fine." I answer nastily, knowing it's useless to argue. Max wasn't budging on this incredibly stupid idea, and neither was Everly.

Max raises his eyebrow, and his expression tells me we'll be talking about this further. "And Eric, one more thing."

I tilt my head to the side, and I know what's coming next. He's going to send her out there, fully armed, back to where she was kidnapped, and I will have to sit and watch. Next to Four. Maybe Four's corpse, because I was going to blame all this on him and kill him while he slept.

"This time you're not to call the patrol squad back early."

"Whatever." I shrug. I stand up, shoving the chair back, and I smile tightly at him. I'll make sure he pays for this. It might not be today. It might not be tomorrow. But I'll make sure he knows I don't appreciate what he's doing. "Anything else?"

"No, I think that's it." Max stares at me, and I narrow my eyes at him.

I smirk when he leans back, a flash of worry across his face.

It's minute, a split second of pure horror and uncertainty, but I saw it.

And I won't forget.

 

 

"You called back the patrol squad?" Everly practically shrieks the words at me, and she continues to look insulted as I shove her into the elevator. There's no one out there but Linda, and I'm sure she's well aware of what's going on. I stab at the button for the ninth floor, and Everly stands there, watching me with a funny look on her face. "Really? Was that necessary?"

"Was it necessary that you return for further training?" I glance down at her, nodding as the car takes off. "It was."

"And what continued training are we doing?" She asks, sounding more put out than ever. She crosses her arms over her chest, like she expects me to rattle off a list of things that would take precedence over a patrol route.

If my head wasn't pounding, I would.

"You'll see."

I don't say anything else to her.

She stands right beside me, still annoyed that I'd had her precious squad return to Dauntless. Really, the day was pointless. They hadn't found anything, anything at all, and it wasn't worth her time to be out there. She had gotten the experience. The thrill of what our soldiers did on a daily basis. I understood why Max wanted her to go, and I even understood the need for her to learn the area.

But I didn't like it. Especially not section five.

That one felt like a bad omen.

It felt like there was something looming there, like the minute her boots hit the ground, the whole thing would open up and swallow her whole.

I chew this over while I storm home. I fling the apartment door open, livid that Max didn't think this was dangerous. I knew he thought she was brave, and out of everyone in this faction, I was all about being brave. I enjoyed taking things head on. I could understand conquering your fears rather than letting them eat away at you. But I was not about letting my wife wander around an area where she'd been taken and hidden from me.

An area potentially teeming with factionless, just waiting for her return.

Everly follows me into the bedroom, and she's silent while I rip off my jacket. I throw it onto the dresser, then kick off my boots with the last remaining energy I have. I flop down onto my bed, slinging one arm over my eyes, wishing I had a way out of this. Maybe Four could go in her place. Maybe he and Tris could both go. If they never came back, well then we'd have two open apartments.

"Come lay down."

"Why?" The Queen of Sleep suddenly sounds highly suspicious that I'm laying here, and I would find that amusing.

If my head wasn't about to explode.

"Because this day has given me a headache and it'll feel better if you lay here and not try to persuade me that you're fine to go on these patrols. I don't care how wonderful of a patrol leader Karl is."

The bedroom is silent.

I don't know if she's contemplating this, or maybe she's surprised at my words. They are petty and immature and downright sulky. But I don't care. I only want to sleep this off, and I'll feel better if she's here with me.

After what feels like hours pass, she climbs into bed, and I hear her boots thud when they hit the floor. A moment later her head finds my chest, and I blindly reach for her. She's taken off her jacket, the uniform pants that I decided I hated, and all she has on is a soft tank top that's been shoved in my own drawer on accident.

I pull her against me, sinking into the bed, and into the cool sheets, until she's right where I want her.

Her fingers find my chest, and it's then and only then, I finally relax.

 

 

"And then, he dies."

Rylan exclaims the words as he hops down the last four stairs, landing with perfect balance. "Right? That's when you kill him. Without even thinking about it. One quick stab through the head so he can't turn."

I take the stairs at a more normal pace, and I cock my eyebrow at him.

"Turn?"

"Reanimate. Whatever."

I shake my head. "Rylan, as much as I would love to rid this faction of Four," I pause, and my eyes flick to the security light blinking above us. "I can't. Not today at least. Unless you want to go sit in the control room for hours."

"I don't." Rylan declares, and I follow him down the hallway. He walks quickly, his boots unlaced and tied on the side in a weird knot. His hair is a mess, but he looks happier than I've seen him. He hadn't entirely gotten over his theory that Four was trying to be my friend. I'd pointed out Four had no reason to want to be my friend. Even if Everly and Tris were friends, the last thing he'd want to do was join us for dinner. Head out for drinks. His ideals were far different than mine, and he was unwilling to change the way he thought.

It felt familiar, my own logic at one time, though I had managed to ease up spectacularly.

"I just find it highly convenient that he's asking you about Marcus." Rylan throws one knowing look over his shoulder, and motions for me to hurry up. "You didn't tell him anything, did you?"

"No." I answer half honestly, not wanting to get into this. "But he's watching the security footage. He's going to notice the soldiers heading through there, or the lack of them. I'm sure he's watched Marcus. He's not blind to what's going on."

"Yeah, well, I don't like it." He continues, knocking someone out of his way at the entrance of Clyde's. "Where's Everly? She didn't want to come?"

I walk past the man Rylan has nearly taken out, and I nod a silent, unusual apology as he throws us one contemptuous look. "No, she's…she's working. I told her I'd be back in a bit."

He throws me a funny grimace, and I shrug.

I didn't want to bring her along, because when it came down to it, Rylan had been acting sort of nuts.

Actually, everyone had.

It was as though something was in the air, and no one was immune to it. Four was trying to be helpful. Rylan was losing his mind over Four speaking to me. Max was insisting I send Everly back to Evelyn's compound. Jason was being logical, trying to prevent Rylan from killing Four, but had also been oddly quiet. Harrison hadn't been seen in two days. Tori hadn't left her office. Quinten had eased up on his demands for extra cheese.

And Everly, Everly was tired again, falling asleep the minute we climbed into bed, and scowling when I woke her up in the morning.

I was fine.

Perfectly normal.

Even if I was suddenly trying to quiet Rylan down, as he kicked someone out of our booth.

"She looks different."

"Who?" I slide into the booth, ignoring the raging stare from Lucy. "Everly? No she doesn't. She's just tired from trampling through the woods with Karl. I had to pick up the pace on what she's been working on."

"Max finally caught on that you're dragging that out?" Rylan snickers, and I flip him off.

I hadn't intentionally made her training longer. I'd just been taking my time. Making sure she knew everything. Making sure she was well prepared for whatever came her way. The last thing I wanted was for her to step into the role of a Leader and feel a single speck of doubt. I was aware that even with my announcement of who she was, some still questioned how she'd gotten everything she had. I wasn't blind to the rumors that I'd given her everything without her working for it, or that she'd slipped through all of this easily, because I liked her.

I just didn't care to address any of it.

So I'd made sure she'd have all the knowledge in the world, even if it meant her training stretched on.

"I was thinking…maybe we could all get out for a bit. Maybe, do something fun." Rylan looks at me, and I look at him. Lucy looks at both of us, until I tell her we'll have waters and wave her away. "Water? Really?"

"I have a long day." I inform him, and I lean back. "What kind of fun? You want to head out to another faction for some party?"

"Sort of." Rylan looks too mischievous for my liking, and I wonder what he has planned. "I think you'll enjoy my idea. You and Everly. Me and Chris. Jason and Meghan. And…" He pauses, and his entire face darkens. "I suppose you'd have to invite Four. Because Christina and Everly will want to invite Tris."

"Yeah, I doubt he'll want to join in on whatever you're planning." I answer him immediately, unwilling to start this argument all over again. "Rylan, look. I hate him. So much. I hate everything about him. Everything he's said about me, tried to tell Everly about me…"

"His hair." Rylan's eyes light up, but they darken when I shake my head.

"I can't pretend that I'll ever find it in myself to be…nice to him. But I also can't pretend he's not friends with Everly, and I won't have to see him."

"Oh no." Rylan shakes his head. "No, no, no. What is wrong with you? This is Four. We hate him. We made a pact. A vow, never to let him…"

"We were eighteen." I rub at my temples, and Lucy stalls, trying to listen to what I'm saying. I glare at her until she leaves, hissing that we'll order in a minute. "We said a lot of things then. I also can't ignore that he stood up for me. I'm sure it killed him, but he did it."

"It didn't kill me, because you were right to kill Landon."

I look up to see him standing there, and Rylan visibly recoils. I'm surprised he doesn't hiss at him or throw something at his head.

"Are you just going to show up wherever I am?" I growl at him. "Are you stalking me Four?"

"No, I'm picking up my lunch and I saw you sitting here. Then I heard you discussing your…vow to never like me and I thought I'd say hello." He smiles at us, and Rylan makes a face back at him.

"Yeah, well hello and goodbye."

"I thought you were inviting me somewhere." Four grins, and he moves to sit down right next to me. I look at him slowly, my stare not at all friendly. "I have to wait until it's ready. Lucy's slammed. But this works out because I can tell you what I found."

"Oh please, tell us what you found. What is it? A leprechaun?" Rylan takes the menu and holds it up so he can't see us. "Oh I know, it's your sense of humor."

"Rylan," I sigh. "Shut the fuck up. Four, just tell me what you found and don't sit so close to me."

I glare at him, and he pretends he can't see my visible dislike.

But he does scoot over.

"A group of factionless, forming in section three."

"Wow, factionless forming a group. What a shocker. No one would have ever thought you'd see that. Gold star for you."

"Rylan." I snarl his name, ignoring the fact that Four isn't even bothered by Rylan. In fact, he looks like he's trying not to laugh. "Pick what you're having for lunch and be quiet."

He slams his menu down. He eyes me warily, then Four with much disgust. He then picks his menu back up and blocks both of us so we can't see him.

"And? You think they're up to something?" I ask.

"I do. They keep sending one man out. Closer and closer to the border line between here and Candor. I can't figure out what they're doing. Every time I try to send the squads out that way, they backtrack. It's like they know we're looking for them." Four looks for Lucy, craning his giant head to the side. "I think…and I could be wrong, but I think they either can hear our transmissions or have someone on the inside."

"Fake news." Rylan slams his menu back down, and he doesn't look impressed. "No one can get past us."

"Colton did." I point out and I look at Four. "Is it the same guy every time?"

"Every time." Four nods, his face tightening at the reminder of Colton. "I can't get a good view of him, though. They're too far out for the footage to be clear, and it blurs up close."

"Okay, well best murder friends, why don't you two just –"

"Are you going zip lining?" Four interrupts Rylan, and Rylan stares at him in surprise. "I heard you talking to Jason about it. But if you are, I'll have to pass. I'm covering a few shifts this week. And Tris still doesn't feel good. Did you meet her parents?"

Rylan stares at him for a long time, wondering how Four knew he was in Abnegation. I stare at Four, too. I knew he was a sneaky little asshole, but this feels like he suddenly knows way too much. Though he clearly didn't know enough that he was willing to risk getting him all riled up.

I also had no clue about the zip lining. Oddly enough, Everly had mentioned it the other night, but I'd downplayed it entirely. I'd never taken her, and I'd never even wondered if she'd want to go.

I also had no time.

"I did. They were…interesting people. They gave me a sandwich and it tasted like nothing."

Four shrugs. "Why where you there?"

"Why wasn't I there?" Rylan retorts with all the maturity of a five year old. "It's my job, Fourteen. I was keeping the factions safe."

"I'm sure you were. Anyway, thank you for the offer. Because you're right. Tris and Christina are friends, and they're also friends with Everly. So I think you know what I'm getting at."

"No, I don't know what you're getting at because no one listens when you speak in riddles." Rylan shakes his head, and he looks bothered. "Hey, is she going to get Christina sick? I don't have time to get sick. And as the person sleeping with Christina, this could very well be transferred to me. You've heard how viruses are passed from person to person, right?"

Four looks at us both, and he has a funny expression on his face. I can't read it, and I decide I don't want to try.

"No, no one can catch what she has."

"Well…good." Rylan mumbles. He blinks, and I can see the exact moment his train of thought takes a sharp turn. "Fine, send me the coordinates of that guy. I'll try to head out there. I'd rather do that than count the uniform inventory."

"Was that Brittney's job?" I raise my eyebrow at him, and he scowls.

"Yes, and did you know she couldn't count? Nor did she know the correct order of how numbers go? And yes, it's zip lining but thanks for continuing to ruin everything, FOUR."

Next to me, Four stifles down a laugh at Rylan's misfortune. "I'll get you the location. I'm heading out now because I think my lunch is here, but you'll have it this afternoon. You're welcome for the rest."

Rylan narrows his eyes at him, and they stay that way until Lucy arrives with a to-go order. The addition of Four throws her off completely, and for a good minute, she stares at us curiously. The sight is one she's probably never seen before, and I want to snarl at her to take a picture.

Because a second later, Four slips out of the booth, and Rylan and I are left to order our lunch. She stands there dumbfounded, but eventually, leaves with our order.

"Zip lining? Really?" I look at him, and he nods.

His mood brightens considerably, now that Four has left.

The rest of lunch is uneventful. Rylan seems pacified with how things are going, and I agree to meet up with him in a few days. We talk about everything else: Everly falling asleep early, Christina and her newfound love for buying Rylan shirts he'd never wear. Jason, reading some book about a dead cat, and Max, insisting Rylan iron his uniform before coming into work.

He refuses.

In fact, Max is lucky Rylan even knows where it is.

Neither of us mention Four, but on the walk out, Rylan's phone rings, and he very cheerfully tells Four he'll meet him in the control room.

For reasons unbeknownst to me, this brings a great wave of relief.

One I have no clue how to explain.

It vanishes later when Four messages me a picture of the blurry man, and I have a faint flicker of recognition that I just can't place.

 

 

That night, Rylan calls while I'm brushing my teeth. He seems bothered that Four can't go zip lining, and he brings it up several times.

"Sorry you're so disappointed." I laugh, and his sigh is loud in my ear. "I thought you vowed never to be nice to him."

"Yeah, well, it could have been a fun night. I could have pushed him off the roof." Rylan sulks, but he cheers up almost instantly. "Actually, it'll still be fun. More fun. He seems like the type to make us check all the safety shit first."

"What a buzzkill." I retort, and I confirm a time to meet him. I can hear Everly rummaging around for something as I put my toothbrush back. "We'll see you there."

"Wait, are you gonna tell her?" Rylan yelps.

"Nah, it can be a surprise."

I decide that after days of sleeping and working and agonizing over whether or not she'll die while out on patrol, this would be good for both of us.

 

 

Two days later, we sit with our backs against the wall of the train. Everly is pressed up against my side, her legs stretched out in front of her and her hand on my leg. The train is quiet, aside from the noise of the wind and the groaning rails. We're the only ones on here, and I'd purposely had us leave later than the others. I wanted to make sure she was completely surprised, and Christina yapping away would chance her blurting it out.

It's nice and quiet with just us. The last time it was just her and I on a train, we had Landon with us. I ignore the thought of him, for going back over that scenario will do nothing. But there are some similarities; the train picks up speed as we depart, and Everly leans further against me, trying to keep her balance.

I reach for her hand, taking her fingers in mine, and I examine them. Her nails are painted a dark color, the pink long gone and replaced by something almost black. She turns to look at me, and her gaze is full of curiosity.

"Where are we going?"

"You don't get to know. That would ruin the surprise," I smirk, and I yank her over even further. "You'll have fun. I promise."

"Okay," She answers, her expression not convinced at all. I smile even wider, because I bet she'll like this.

"Trust me."

Everly nods, raising an eyebrow and falling quiet.

We sit there, her still against my chest, until we near our destination. I can see the familiar buildings in the distance, and the sun slowly sinking behind them. I pull Everly up along with me, and I guide us toward the door. She hesitates as we near it, probably because the train is going far faster than the last time we were on it. I take her hand in mine, holding on tightly, and I look down at her.

Her gaze is glued to the ground rushing beneath us, a blur of concrete and foliage. The train veers to curve around to a softer landing, and I nod at her.

"Let's go."

We jump together. The landing is harder than she's experienced, and I catch her as she stumbles. I hold her upright, unwilling to let her fall and it takes her a second to straighten herself up. Everly glances around at the city, and her expression is confused. All around us are empty buildings, all dark, all quiet. To the North is the Hancock building, large and intimidating as it disappears into the sky.

"What are we doing here?" She asks, and her hand tightens in mine.

I don't get the chance to answer her.

"Eric! Everly!" Our names are shouted, and when we turn, Jason and Rylan are running toward us. They're followed by Christina, looking so excited she might die, and a few others Rylan invited. His taste in friends is questionable, but tonight, I don't care. "We've been waiting."

Rylan grins, utterly thrilled we are here. I had never brought Everly out to this as an initiate. Our time together had been jam packed, and I'd been content to keep her against me at night. Our entire time together had felt dangerous enough, and zip lining was something that never entered my mind.

"Sorry, the train was late." I smirk, watching everyone gather around. We're joined by Zeke, Uriah, Shauna, and Meghan. They introduce themselves quickly, their stares glancing over Everly curiously.

"What are you guys doing here?" Everly asks, and she looks at everyone milling around. There are more; friends of friends, friends of those friends, anyone who desperately needed a night of excitement. I'm impressed Rylan threw this together, and even more impressed I agreed to it.

"Well, we heard how you've missed out on one very important part of being a member of Dauntless," Jason announces, and he knocks my shoulder. "So we decided we'd all come and experience it with you."

I snort at his words, and shove Everly forward a step. Her head tilts up at the tall building, and I can see her mind whirling.

"This way," Rylan calls out. He reaches for Christina, taking her hand in his, and pulling her forward. She looks back at us, her eyes flicking to me just once, then motions for Everly to follow her.

She looks just as excited, if not more so, than Rylan.

"You guys coming?" She grins. "You're going to love it."

Everly looks up at me, and her smile is all too sweet. "You didn't invite Four and Tris?"

I roll my eyes. I'd been forced to endure ten minutes of sitting next to him at Clyde's and that was more than enough. I was just fine with the people who had shown up, and I certainly didn't need Four and Tris dragging the mood down. "Stiff Number One politely declined. Claimed he had to work. Tris said she wasn't feeling up to it, but that she'll come with you some other time if you want to go again."

Christina turns around, and her frown is instant. "I've never seen Four do this, so that's no big surprise. But Tris? She loves this!"

I nudge Everly forward a step, shrugging my shoulders. "What a shame. Are you ladies ready? There's only one way up."

I point to the elevator doors, and Everly looks back up at me. Her eyes are wide, and there's a slow simmer of realization as to what we're doing.

Apparently, Karl had talked about this nonstop. I couldn't blame him. It was sort of thrilling, and there were a few moments that would make anyone's heart stop for a second. Last night, Everly had asked a million questions about it, until I'd given in to her torturous ways. Luckily for me, she hadn't seemed upset I hadn't taken her, only curious about why and how one did it.

"Are we going to the top?" Her gaze rises up, and I can see her smiling.

"Where else would we go?" My hand finds her lower back, and I guide her into the elevator car. This one is far larger than the ones in Dauntless, and probably less safe. Next to us, Jason and Rylan seem to share that thought. They both argue over who powered the thing up, and Jason points out we might not make it to the top.

"You idiots made sure to turn it on in advance, right?" I glare at them, not in the mood to walk up a million flights of stairs.

Rylan snickers. "I did. This one overslept." He pushes Jason into Meghan, and Jason pushes him right back. Meghan knocks them both apart, then fixes her hair and smiles disinterestedly at us. "You better hold on, Everly."

He gives her this warning as the doors close, and he's right.

A second later, the elevator car takes off. It zooms upward, faster than one would expect, and probably rigged to be quicker than was safe.

I like it.

The feeling is a rush, though it throws Everly off balance. She holds onto me tightly, digging her nails into my skin until the doors open up with a loud ding.

We step out into a dark room. The only light coming in is from a gaping hole in the ceiling, and the air is stale and musty. Everly watches Zeke grab a ladder, and he maneuvers it up against the edge of the hole. Once he's satisfied it won't fall, he climbs it without looking back down. The ladder sways the tiniest bit, but he doesn't care. He's done this plenty of times, and tonight is no exception.

"You're next," I announce, and I walk us to the ladder. Everly cranes her head up to look at the ceiling, and above us, Zeke waves. He grins, and gestures for her to come up. I push her forward, for once happy she wore leggings, and I crouch down to hold the ladder in place. "See you at the top, Amity."

Everly smiles, her face pure excitement at this adventure. I watch her climb the ladder quickly, until her boots disappear onto the roof.

"You ready?" Rylan asks, and he grins so widely it must hurt. "It's cool you brought her. It's cool we're all here."

I nod at him, and he's right.

I'd never once come along with him and Christina, nor Jason and Meghan.

Maybe I'd never wanted to join them as the third wheel to their tumultuous relationships, but tonight, I was happy to be here with them.

With Everly.

 

 

Her impatience is impressive.

Everly watches Jason and Rylan get ready for her turn and I can tell she's dying to try it. I'm not surprised. She's never had a fear of heights as far as I knew, and she'd been fairly brave our entire training together. She's unbothered by the fact that she could easily plummet to her death if this went wrong, and her only focus is on how it all works.

"When can I go?" She turns to look up at me, and I smile. There's a flash of pride that she's unafraid of this, though I wouldn't have cared if she was. There are a few people still waiting to go, but it won't be long. My only concern with this whole thing is she'll go first, and I won't be at the bottom to catch her.

That feels starkly metaphorical right now.

"You aren't scared?" I ask, and my fingers tighten on hers.

"No." She shakes her head, and her eyes are bright. "It looks really fun."

Everly pulls me forward, closer to where Rylan is. He's bent over the edge of the building, trying to gauge how far Christina is. The timing is crucial, but also a complete guess. The cables extend out into darkness, and it is impossible to see past a certain point.

"Few minutes!" Rylan calls out to us, and he grins.

He's utterly thrilled we came. It took a lot to organize all of us to be here, but there is a completeness to this group. Everly and I wait until the last of Rylan's friends have gone, and he motions for her to come over.

She looks up at me once more, her skin turning pink when I bend down to kiss her. I help her climb into the sling, and once I'm sure it's secure, I nod at Jason. We pull it back, and there's a dizzying moment when I realize I'm about to let her go, right into the abyss of darkness.

The countdown seems instantaneous. I'd given her a few quick words of advice; mostly to enjoy the ride, because it would be over before she knew it, and I'd told her how to get out of it. But all that fades away as we let go, and Everly vanishes right over the side of the building. There's a quick burn as the fabric leaves my hands, and we all step closer to the edge.

She's gone.

For a moment, I feel as though I'm the one who's gone down the sudden incline. My stomach tenses up with a splash of worry, then relaxes when I catch sight of her, completely fine. Jason elbows me, his gaze glued to the cables.

"She didn't even blink." He looks impressed.

Next to him, Rylan nods his head. "Yeah, she didn't even scream. We were here a few weeks ago and someone threw up."

I smirk at both of them, feeling a speck of superiority that Everly was brave, and I squint out into the darkness.

"You go next." Rylan elbows me. "You can meet up with her and see if she liked it."

"I have a feeling she did." I grin, and I head back to where Everly had stood. I step onto the platform, wondering if she felt the same surge of power most people felt when they did. The same sense of freedom, the ultimate high of being unafraid, the dizziness of how quick this all is.

There is no doubt she did.

 

 

Turns out, I should have made time for this.

She tackles me, throwing her arms around my neck and shrieking the second my feet hit the ground. I'd found it enjoyable as always, the thrill just as sharp and vibrant as before, and clearly –so had Everly.

She kisses me frantically, her lips crashing into mine as she yells that I've made it. I pick her up, her legs wrapping around my waist tightly, and she keeps kissing me.

For some reason, I find this hilarious.

I can't help but laugh, though it's not her. It's how happy she is, how we've done this together, and how she's clinging to me like she thought I might not walk away from it. It makes me laugh honestly, deep and loud, a way I haven't laughed in years.

Maybe ever.

"I take it you liked it," I manage to say the words against her lips, and I walk us back, away from the group. I'm still holding onto her, and I kiss her back just as frantically as she's kissing me. The urge to devour her is strong, and there are a few catcalls at this very public display of affection. I finally set her down, throwing a few darkly unimpressed looks at our friends, but my gaze is good natured.

I don't mind.

For once, it all feels good. The air is cold, Everly is warm, and she's beaming at me, practically bouncing off the ground she's so excited. I feel complete, like the two of us were meant to be together. Like she's everything I could have asked for- not just in a wife, but another person who looks at me the way she does.

I feel disgustingly happy when she takes my hand and pulls me back toward the building. Her eyes are sparkling, and her hair is everywhere, and she smiles so widely I can't help but smile right back at her.

Together, we head back to join our friends.

 

 

 

I groan her name from beneath her, quickly overthrown by Everly's desire to be on top. I found myself unable to care once she was naked. One of my hands was on her lower back pushing her back toward me, and the other was behind her neck.

I had assumed she'd want to go again. Almost everyone else was staying, and they would continue well into the night. But one look at Everly had told me that while she liked the zip lining, she liked something else better, and we'd silently agreed to go home.

I certainly wasn't complaining. I'd take her whenever she wanted if we wound up like this.

"Had I known you were going to be so excited by it," I tell her, the words hard to actually get out, "I would have taken you zip lining much sooner."

She starts laughing. She's not so coordinated in this moment, overcome by her giggles as she struggles to hold onto me. She'd been the one who'd been so high from the rush of adrenaline that I half expected her to climb on top of me on the train ride home. She might have. Had it not been windy and cold, and far too fast.

"When do most initiates get to go?" She asks, somehow forming complete sentences. She had been frantic upon returning home, yanking my shirt off and all but ripping the button off my pants. I'd watched her with great amusement, until I couldn't stand it anymore.

I sit up enough to kiss her, taking her lower lip between my teeth.

"No idea," I mutter, and she resumes the same pace as before. The two of us are sloppy and ill-timed, but it feels too good to care. Even Everly seems lost in what she's doing, which is giving me quite the view as she reclines back. I reach for her, sliding my hands into her hair, enjoying the sight. I stare at her intently, memorizing every inch of her, trying to see if she looks different.

She doesn't.

She looks like my Everly.

"Thanks for taking me," She gasps the words, and her eyes close. I like the way she looks, completely and utterly exposed, on top of me. Her lips part open, struggling to say something else, but losing out completely to the warm euphoria dragging its way through her.

I often wonder how many would love to see her like this. Wild, lost in the feeling of what we were doing, completely unworried about anything except this moment.

"You're welcome," I answer, my words gritty and hard to actually say. I kiss her jaw, my hands holding her in place, large against her skin. I kiss her neck, feeling her tense into me, and I can tell neither of us will make it much longer. "Fuck, you feel good."

My guess is correct.

The feeling of her on top of me becomes overwhelming. More than the high of the zip lining, more than the rush of dopamine. I come harder than I expect, my world darkening until the pulsing waves of pleasure slowly die down, and she's against my chest.

I lazily undo her hair from the bun, watching it escape in every direction. She mumbles a thanks at me, and neither of us move, not even when I suggest we get cleaned up.

At some point, we fall asleep.

Her head on my chest, her fingers through mine.

 

 

To my delight, Everly's next patrols are uneventful.

It's less traumatic to watch her leave this time; she bounces out with Karl and his squad, and she only struggles to climb into the large truck for a moment. I stand with Jason and Rylan, all at attention, watching the trucks leave the bay. The three of us stay until they pull out of sight, sweltering in the heat.

"Fuck it's hot out here." Rylan gripes, and he's right.

The sun is already high in the sky, and the temperature seems to have skyrocketed.

"It is. Fuck this shit. I'm going inside." Jason agrees, and the three of us head back in. I throw one final look in the direction the trucks went, and I smirk.

I have no doubt that today, Everly Coulter will finally be warm.

 

 

Dauntless is quiet.

I enjoy the low energy that's currently lingering in the air. The air conditioners have already kicked on, and my office is pleasantly cool. I recline back in my desk chair, watching the security feed run with a slight delay.

That should bother me.

I often felt like our technology was a step behind, and this was irritating. The cameras were showing a one-minute delay, and while nothing major, it was still enough that the lag was noticeable. I'd already messaged Four about it, and his answer was frustrated. He'd already reset everything and short of heading out there and trying to see if there was an issue with the physical cameras, he was stuck.

He was also stuck because they were short staffed, and there was nothing he could do about that either.

So that left me here, feet propped up on my desk, eating the noodles and chicken Quinten had made, and pretending I wasn't a minute in the future. I had decided I would really only watch while I ate lunch, because I had other shit to do. So far, I'd seen Everly jump three feet in the air when someone tripped over a trash can, and I'd watched her recoil at the sight of a dead raccoon.

There was defeat all over her face, and I couldn't help but feel the tiniest bit smug at this.

The patrol squads, while dedicated and necessary and ultimately incredibly helpful, often spent days like this. It wasn't quite the glamorous and action-packed routine she was envisioning. In a way, it should be comforting. Low activity was a good sign, but for Everly, it was boring.

I watched her fix her hair. Pull at her jacket collar. Talk to Karl. I eventually stopped watching and clicked back into my email. Once done with that, I talked to Jack for a bit, scheduling a time for him to come here, as well as a time for Everly and I to go to Candor. He was still interested in her beyond a normal amount, but I was used to it.

Bringing her there came with risks, but hopefully she'd enjoy his fancy restaurant.

The rest of my afternoon passes by quickly.

I ignore a message from Peter asking if he can meet with me. I finally answer it 'no' and I forward it to Max. I'd hit my limit of how much I could tolerate him, and if he wanted to bitch and moan to someone about his hours, it wouldn't be me.

I'm all but finished with my day when I click out of all the windows I have open. I pause when I realize I've left the security feed up, and I'm rewarded with the sight of the trucks returning. I watch Karl turn the large truck around and park in the front. A second later, he and Everly hop out. Her posture tells me this day was a bummer, and I decide I'll make it up to her tonight. I think of all the wonderful ways I could cheer her up, and the best part is, I'll benefit from them, too.

I keep watching out of the corner of my eye as they walk around the truck and talk for a second. Behind them, the soldiers who were out on foot return. Everly turns to look at them, and oddly, she freezes in place.

I squint at the screen. From the security feed, the soldiers are nothing out of the ordinary. Sweaty and hot, all heavily armed. But she stares at them, unmoving, even when Karl talks to her.

"Hey, you needed this?"

I look away from the screen, over at Harrison standing in my doorway. He looks serious, and in his hand is a manila folder.

"It's Tris' medical records."

"What? No, why would I want that?" I stare at him, confused as ever. "Where did you get those?"

"Your friend brought them to me. Said I should look through them. Some interesting stuff. Did you know that she's-"

"Wait, Rylan asked Arlene for those? And she gave them to him?" I cock my head to the side, trying to quickly figure out what was going on. "Why would he be concerned over how Tris is feeling?"

"She's also had the flu twice. Might want to get her a flu shot this year when what's her face gets them in."

Harrison keeps talking, and I notice he looks tired. I lean forward, and I also notice his hair looks unkempt. Like he's just woken up after a three-day bender.

"Where were you? Were you gone?"

"Amity. Went to check out the fence with a troop that's newer. Max asked me to show them a few things." Harrison pauses, then yawns. "I'm heading home to take a nap. You sure you don't want these?"

"I'm certain I have no use for Tris' medical records." I answer, waving him off. "Take them back to Arlene. I don't even want to know how Rylan got them or why he wanted them."

Harrison nods, but he doesn't move. His stare is past me, focused on the computer screen. He narrows his eyes, then smiles. "Nice."

"What?" I turn to look, concerned over the look on his face, and my eyes widen as I witness my wife shooting one of the soldiers.

One minute ago.

 

 

I take off quickly.

I tear out of my office, past Harrison- smelling oddly and grossly familiar, past Linda, past the elevators. I take the stairs three at a time, and I'm on the ground level within a minute.

I'd just watched Everly shoot down one of the patrolmen. There had been nothing to alert me this was happening or necessary. Maybe she'd heeded my warning to shoot whoever gave her a hard time, but this felt different. Her eyes had been wide and determined, and she'd shot without any hesitation.

My phone rings as I tear through the hallway to the exit, and I answer it to Four's voice yelling in my ear.

"I'm on it."

I hang up immediately, his words echoing in my head as I turn the corner, nearly taking out half the members walking back in. A second later, the lights flash, and the security measures begin to kick into place. The light blinking indicates a security breech, and it'll be another sixty seconds before the alarms sound.

I'm outside before any of this happens.

I bypass a few guards heading in the same direction as me, weapons drawn and smiles tight. They fall in line with me, easily sprinting across the yard. I reach the area where Karl had parked quickly, and there I find quite the sight a short distance before me.

Both Karl and Everly are standing there, guns drawn, aimed right at Jeremy.

The surprise on his face is apparent as ever.

He's glaring at them and the slowly surrounding soldiers, hunched over in a world of pain. From what I can see, he's been shot twice, once in the leg, and once in the shoulder. They've done a fantastic job of attempting to disarm him. It's unlikely he'll get very far by foot, and the way he's wincing and swearing tells me his pain tolerance is fairly low in this moment.

Everly and Karl look at each other, and their voices grow louder as I approach. I catch the very end of whatever they're talking about, and it's entertaining to say the least.

"Of course I shot him," Everly announces, her voice laced with disdain. "Why did you shoot him?"

Karl tilts his head at her, and I can see him bite down on his jaw. His actions are familiar, frustrated as she questions him. "Why did I shoot him? He was coming after you!"

"He wasn't coming after me," Everly protests, and her voice sounds small. I get the impression he was coming right for her, and she shot him just like I told her to. "I can take care of myself. He wasn't getting past me."

Karl shakes his head. He towers over her, and he's closer to Jeremy than she is. I'm highly satisfied that he's taken this seriously, and it's obvious he wasn't going to let anything happen to her again. "I shot because I needed to. Everly, we all know what happened the last time someone attacked you."

"What the fuck, Karl?" Everly hisses, and her gaze is angry. "That wasn't my fault."

"I just don't want to be responsible when you wind up getting kidnapped. Again."

Jeremy laughs.

It's probably the delirium from his pain, but it's enough to piss me off. I shove past both of them, Karl and Everly, and I head right toward him. I walk slowly, having realized this was no emergency, and should the need arise, he'd be dead before he could blink.

"Welcome back," I greet him brightly, stopping right beside him. The fucker has the audacity to glare at me, but he's also trying to stand on his wounded leg. "All of you."

My eyes flash to Everly, still looking mad that Karl also shot Jeremy, and Karl looking mad that Everly wanted to be the only one to shoot someone. I turn back to Jeremy, and there's a rush of pure hatred at the sight of him. His disheveled uniform. The way he's wearing it as though it means nothing, when everyone else here has earned theirs.

Even his expression is indignant, like we should have welcomed him back with open arms.

When he looks up at me, I immediately grab him. My fingers dig right into the skin near where he was shot, knowing it'll hurt, and he flinches.

"Hurts like a bitch, don't it?" I stare him down, unimpressed with the way he's shaking. "And we don't normally let failed, wanna-be leaders just wander back through here for old times' sake."

"Fuck you," Jeremy snarls. He tries to wiggle away, closing his eyes as a wave of pain crashes over him. I let go, seeing the soldiers far behind Karl and Everly come to a halt. They keep their distance, knowing it is better to give this some space rather than join right in. "Tell your lap dogs not to shoot again."

I look back at Everly, and there's a rush of pride that she was able to hold him here. She's handled herself well under pressure, and she'd done exactly what I would have done. I might have aimed directly for his head, but I couldn't ask for anything more from her.

"Hi, Everly." I smile at her, raising an eyebrow as she looks at me. She looks tense, but she relaxes enough to smile back.

"Wait, you failed at being a leader here?" Karl asks, sounding confused. He's still got his gun aimed at Jeremy, but his expression is bewildered. "How do you fail that?"

Jeremy scowls at everyone. "I left for a minute, but I'm back now." Next to me, he straightens himself up to his full height, testing out his arm. He moves it around to try and alleviate the pain, but it doesn't work. He winces when he pushes on his shoulder, right where my hand was, and his fingers come away bloody.

"Why?" Karl takes a step away from Everly, and heads closer to Jeremy. "Why did you come back?"

Jeremy scoffs at Karl, his eyes flashing when he stops next to me. "Not really your business, now is it?"

"No," I answer loudly. I take a step closer to Jeremy, and he's very right when he flinches. "But it is mine."

 

 

 

Despite my desire to rip his head off, I make the generous and very kind decision to have Jeremy receive basic medical care before we bring him in for questioning.

I dismiss most of the soldiers who'd shown up, including Karl. There's a flash of disappointment across his face, but I shake my head and silently thank him. Ahead of us, Jeremy trudges along in the custody of two large men, and we follow behind. I give Karl one rough pat on the shoulder while we walk, happy to acknowledge what he'd done. The look on his face is priceless, like I've promoted him to king of the world.

Everly comes along with me.

I could have sent her home, but she's right by my side, and as the person who noticed this extra soldier was Jeremy, I figured she should hear what he has to say.

Not to mention I can write this off as part of her training.

Everly and I wait in the infirmary, sitting in Arlene's office while one of the newer nurses works on him. Every once in a while we hear him, his shrieks of pain echoing across the room while the poor girl attempts to get him to hold still.

I sit at Arlene's desk, rifling through the paper work she's left in here. I find Tris' medical file on top, having been returned at some point, and I open it up. I read the paper out of sheer boredom, only to come to a screeching halt when I realize she's pregnant. That medical reports are a positive blood test, along with several upcoming scheduled appointments. Her name is still shown as Tris Prior and not Mrs. Four, and I get a flash of delight at how horrified she must have been to discover Four had knocked her up without them so much as being engaged.

I read the rest of the pages with minor interest, stopping only when Molly appears.

"Yes?" I snap at her, annoyed that she'd interrupted my reading. It wasn't anything riveting, blood work and hormone numbers that meant nothing to me, but I still didn't like Molly any more for bothering me.

"He wants me to tell you that he demands to see Max." Molly says the words carefully, looking like she might throw up on her shoes. I glare at her, wondering why she was dumb enough to come tell me this. It's not like I was about to give Jeremy whatever he wanted, simply because he asked.

"Oh, he'll see Max," I answer. "Where does he think we're taking him? On a tour of the kitchens?"

Molly blinks and takes a step back. "I really don't think he's going to talk to you."

I look at her, cocking my head to the side, and I can feel my lips curl up in a sneer. "It's not really up to him, now is it?"

Molly looks at me, her dumb face frozen with fear.

"Let me know when he's done." I dismiss her, and I turn back to the file. Four's name is listed as her emergency contact, and I idly wonder if he's not the father. Though I can't imagine who else it could possibly be. "Now, did you enjoy your patrol today?"

Everly smiles brightly. "It was fine. I found Jeremy." She sounds pleased with herself, but her expression changes when the door flies open. I watch with great amusement as Karl storms in and points his finger at her.

"Everly." He loudly says her name, and she freezes. "You can't seriously be mad at me that I tried to help you out there."

I stare at him.

I had arrived just as they were debating who should have shot Jeremy, and I can only assume he made it halfway home before remembering he was bothered by this.

"I'm not mad. I just didn't need you interrupting me," Everly answers. She sounds fairly casual, as though she went around shooting people every day. I eye her intently, wondering if there was something I'd missed before I got there. Despite whatever had happened, I couldn't thank Karl enough for looking out for her.

It's not what either of them expect. Everly looks at me like she's waiting for me to say something, but I let this all unfold. Being a part of a patrol squad meant dealing with this. The inner workings of soldiers all doing their job, and occasionally, these lines got crossed.

Still, she doesn't seem thrilled with his help. "I also didn't appreciate you acting like I couldn't take care of it."

Karl narrows his eyes at her. "Interrupting you? I wasn't interrupting you. I was making sure you stayed alive." He crosses his arms over his chest, and his whole face darkens. I should smirk, for it's like looking in a mirror as he reaches a whole new level of exasperation. "And I didn't want to come around the corner to find that he'd attacked you."

Everly immediately leaps to her feet. She puts her hands on her hips, and she glares at him. "I was fine. Everyone needs to stop jumping to my defense. I had the situation under control and you knew it."

Karl snickers at her. I can appreciate his sense of humor in this situation, because I have a feeling I would have reacted the exact same way. "You had it under control? He was about to charge at you. He could have had a weapon on him."

"I had a gun aimed directly at him. He wasn't going to get very far," Everly protests. Her voice rises up, and she looks at me. I stay quiet, thoroughly enjoying watching her deal with the fall out of working a patrol.

"He was about to knock you down. I was saving you. Last time I didn't act when I had the chance, and you got kidnapped and almost murdered. I'm not about to let that happen again," Karl declares, his tone final and even.

Everly presses her lips together, and it's easy to see she wants to say something.

But she doesn't have a good comeback for that.

Karl's right.

He had watched her get taken last time, and he promised he'd make it up.

"I don't need anyone else to save me. I can save myself," Everly announces, and I have to stifle the laugh in my throat. She's clearly forgotten she's the same height as the child who attacked me in the infirmary a year ago. Had Jeremy been determined to get to her, he would have. Sure, she could have kept shooting him. But she wasn't exactly an intimidating presence.

"Everly, no offense but you are not very scary. No one would think you'd stop them from doing anything." Karl reaches for her elbow, and his tone is mature. Like he's speaking to the brand new initiates who'd never been on a patrol before. "I had orders to keep you safe. There's no way I would go against them."

Everly's eyes flash to me, and she jerks her arm away from him. I can see her brain whirling, deciphering every order I'd given to Karl.

She doesn't like it.

"Orders or not, I was fine. And you shouldn't have shot him while I was shooting him." She glares at him, and her tone is sharper than I've ever heard it.

"Everly, why are you so gun-happy? Does it really matter who shot him?" Karl sounds confused, and he looks confused when she nods her head yes.

"I should have been the one to shoot him since I was the one who saw him. I chased him and was in the middle of confronting him when you showed up," She tells him, and she crosses her arms over her chest.

"You were both right," I finally interject, having grown bored with their adorable argument over who should have been the one to shoot Jeremy. For all I care, they both could have gunned him down. "Everly, you were right to shoot him, and Karl…" I stop, and I look right at him. His eyes find mine, a hint of worry that I might side with Everly. "You were right to follow orders regarding Everly and to come to the defense of the faction. So, thank you both."

Karl looks surprised. I rarely praised anyone out loud, and this was starting to feel like a habit I wasn't interested in. But he had earned it, and it might diffuse this argument.

"Uh, you're welcome, sir." Karl mumbles, too shocked to say much. He finally looks over at Everly, and his next words are warmer. "Glad to be of service. And I'm glad you're okay, Everly."

She slowly nods her head, a weak acceptance at best.

I leave Arlene's desk, including Tris' appointment schedule. I come to a stop next to Karl, and I nod at him. "I'll see you in a few days for your meeting."

"Got it." He leaves after a quick glance at both of us, and he looks oddly relieved. I would bet anything he didn't like being at odds with her, but my orders came above her desire to be the one to shoot down our visitor.

"Everly," I turn to look at her, and the look on her face tells me she isn't having any of this. She glares something fierce at me, and had this not revolved around her life, I would have laughed.

"I didn't need him — or you — to help me," She informs me. "I was fine."

"I know." I close the distance between us, and I reach for her. Everly immediately drops her arms and reaches to snake them around my waist. Her head finds my chest, and she stays there for a moment. "I know you were fine. Karl was still on patrol. There's no reason he wouldn't have helped go after Jeremy."

"And I can be scary. People should know what I'm capable of," she insists. She lifts her head up to look at me, and I brush her hair out of her eyes. It's a mess from running after Jeremy, and I can barely see her beneath it.

"Right. You're terrifying," I agree, smirking when she scowls up at me.

"Eric," Everly says my name warningly, and her look is stern. "No one is going to take me seriously if you keep making sure I'm fine."

My hands move on their own, while I'm listening to her protests. She has a point, however it's not one I'm willing to compromise on. I'd lost her once, and I won't lose her again.

Even at the expense of her ego.

"I'm not going to tell them they should allow you to not be fine," I inform her. My free hand slides into her hair. "You handled Jeremy perfectly. I don't think anyone here doubts what you are capable of."

Her face reads total disbelief.

She's convinced I won't let her out of my sight, and unless I throw her out there to the wolves, no one else will be either.

"Everly, don't worry about it. Everyone knows you were the one who went after Jeremy. No one thinks Karl bailed you out except for you. In fact, the whole squad was impressed that you were the one who recognized him." I remind her, and I'm sure they are. She was the one who found Jeremy, and the first one to shoot him. She nods against my chest, and her head falls back down to rest there.

"Okay."

She gives in, just a little.

Thank God.

While I loved that she was brave and fearless and determined to prove it, I wasn't sure I could handle much else.

"I'm proud of how you handled him, Amity."

At my words, she looks back up. Her eyes find mine, bright green and wide.

"Thanks. But I shot him without any real reason. Won't I be in trouble for that?"

"He came after you. He would have taken you down to get back into Dauntless. You protected your faction. Why would you be in trouble?" I look down at her, unsure of why she'd hesitate over that. I would have backed her up even if she'd shot him just for fun.

Everly nods, but her gaze isn't quite as confident as before. I can tell the adrenaline is wearing off. "I didn't want him to come back into Dauntless."

"You did the right thing. I'm sure once we talk to him, his reasons for being here won't be enough to justify his waltzing through the gates without being shot."

"But how will we get him to talk?" She asks.

Her question makes me smile.

For one, it was highly suspect that he'd shown back up. We didn't allow failed initiates to return, let alone a failed Leader. So the fact that he was here, having tried to sneak in, would raise some very interesting questions. There was a high chance he wouldn't talk. He'd try to play the upper hand. He could refuse, and that was within his rights.

It was also within my right to prosecute him for attacking my wife, and that meant finding out why he did it.

Before I can answer her, one of the nurses peeks his head in. He informs me that Jeremy is done, and his gaze falls to my hands on Everly. To Everly, pressed right up against my chest, her stare warm and pretty and definitely not for him.

I nod in acknowledgement, and I let go of her for just a second. When I look down she's still patiently waiting for an explanation of how I can make someone talk, and I smile. Wide and utterly thrilled, because now, not only will I have a reason for Jack to come here, I'll find out exactly where Evelyn is.

 

 

The return of Jeremy is pure chaos.

Once he's been treated to the bare minimum standards humanly acceptable, he's escorted to the conference room. For the most part, he walks along willingly, because he knows what will happen if he doesn't. But his eyes widen when we arrive in the conference room, shocked that it's full of people.

The view is pretty spectacular from my standpoint. If I were being dragged in to be interrogated, I'd be flattered to have such an audience.

Before us, Jason and Rylan stand against the wall, and they watch as I shove Jeremy into the first open seat. Both of them are unimpressed with his return, and there's the slightest hint of stress across their faces. Jason types away at his phone, scowling as he no doubt answers something about the security breech, and Rylan eyes Jeremy with great disdain before his eyes flash to me.

I can see the workload he's picturing, knowing this means something is about to happen.

Tori and Harrison sit across from Jeremy. They're talking quietly, both with their arms crossed, both looking annoyed. Max is downing his coffee, his eyes trained on the door as a few more members show up. Anyone of any importance has been called in. I half expect to see Tris there and wouldn't that have brought a smile to my face.

Instead, I'm gifted with the presence of Karl. He's there rightfully, as the head of the patrol squad that was outside when Jeremy returned. He walks in, along with a few members of his patrol from this morning. He looks equally surprised, but it's more at the lack of room than anything else. They're ushered in, along with a few of the soldiers Jeremy had tried to blend in with, and they have the decency to look nervous. They'll all catch hell for not noticing it was him, and they know it's only a matter of time.

All of these people are followed by Quinten and Arlene.

Quinten, mostly for intimidation purposes.

Arlene, because she's nosey as fuck.

She nods wordlessly at me, and immediately heads over to Everly and takes her by the elbow. She escorts her to the empty chair beside Tori, while I'm joined by Max. The weariness on his face tells me everything I need to know. That he knows Jeremy is the first act of Evelyn's play, and he's not in the mood for any of this. His next words send my blood pressure skyrocketing.

"I think we should keep him in isolation for a few days. Let him sit and think about this."

"No." My answer is sharp and unsurprised. We've always disagreed on such battle ideology. He preferred to react, I preferred to act. "He's been working with Evelyn. I'm not about to put him in time out while we sit here like idiots."

I feel the same burst of exasperation as before. Always a step behind, always unsure of what to do. We had plenty we could do to him; it was making sure everyone was on board with it that held everything up. Max's brilliant plan to have Jeremy sit here and rot for a bit wouldn't help things. For all we knew, Evelyn was outside, waiting for him to return.

"We question him. I get the answers I want. If he doesn't talk, we make him." I speak slowly, my words low and dark.

"How can you be so sure he's working with Evelyn?" Max looks at me, and I'm sure my expression tells my extreme impatience at this ridiculous question. "Look, I know you want to kill him. But I have to look at this from every angle. We don't know where he went, but we risk potentially blowing this by going full force at him." Max wavers, and I have the urge to shove him right next to Jeremy.

"Where do you think he went? On vacation? A little jaunt to Abnegation? A vision quest in Amity?"

Max's look is dirty. "Alright fine. Interrogate him how you want. I'll watch."

"Good." I smile, but it's not a kind one. "And when he tells us exactly what I thought, then what?"

"Then we take Evelyn down. You'll have the information you're looking for." Max relents, and I smile even wider when his eyes flash at everyone in the room. "Before anyone else shows up, you might want to get started. This is about to be standing room only."

"After you." I gesture, and there's a small thrill that runs through me.

Despite my irritation over the whole thing, this might finally get us somewhere.

 

 

I'm mostly right.

"I'd like the opportunity to help you out."

Jeremy's words are slick.

His stare finds mine, knowing that in this moment, even if just for a second, he had us. Dangling on his deliberately spoken words, waiting to see what he would say.

To me, they are infuriating. He'd spent a few minutes offering up nothing, but now, he was willing to make a deal. A bargain. Something that would benefit both of us and allow him to come out unscathed. I idly wonder what went wrong. There's a reason he's back, and if my gut feeling is right, it's because something went down with Evelyn and he panicked. Flew back here in an attempt to hide in plain sight.

Max catches my attention, breaking my train of thought, and I decide I'm not up for this game. I shrug, watching Jeremy sit there and sweat.

"I don't think we need your help. We've managed to do just fine without you." I announce, noticing Rylan's sudden stare. "But don't worry. We won't make you talk just yet."

"What the fuck." Jason blurts out, and I narrow my eyes at him, silently telling him to shut up. His irritation is well deserved, and so is everyone's. In front of me, Jeremy stays still. Unmoving, even though his head drops every so often.

There's a moment of fury when Tori stands up, visibly annoyed that it looks like I'm putting this off and she shakes her head at me. "We don't have all day, Eric."

"I do," Harrison announces. He leans back, propping his feet up on the table. "Max, make some more coffee."

Everly watches all of this quietly. Next to her, Rylan loses his patience. Loudly.

"Just 'fess up, motherfucker. It's Taco Tuesday. No one wants to stay here all day while you refuse to tell us where your sorry ass went." He looks down at his phone, and grimaces. "I'm not missing out on the one day we have edible food around here just because you decided to take a field trip without telling anyone."

Quinten throws him one dirty look from across the room, but he stays silent. He leans against the doorway, his gaze back on Jeremy. He's large and menacing, and all it would take was a single wrong word and he'd happily pound Jeremy into the ground. There's a current of violent tension running through this room, and all it would take was one single snap for it to light up.

"Is there a point to all of this, or are we just hanging out in here all day?" Jason asks, and he looks weary. The assumption is this will be one long, drawn out interrogation, but I have a surprise for all of them.

I put my hand on Jeremy's shoulder, still silent, still thinking he's going to pull one over on me, and I lean all my weight onto him. He winces, yelping as I eye Tori.

Her face is set in impatient rage, and I smile at her.

"Call Jack. Tell him we need his help."

The reaction is slow. But it happens. All at once, everyone but Everly suddenly looks delighted. Involving Jack Kang meant this would take a turn in our favor. It was my call, and while anyone could contest it, they wanted answers.

And now we would get them.

Tori's face lights up, and she grins. Her smile isn't at me, per se. But at the fact that we will have some action today, and even better, she'll be there to witness it. "Perfect."

"You ready?" I ask Jeremy, squeezing his shoulder again. He tries to shrug away from me, the pressure causing him a sear of pain, and he swears at me, hissing under his breath.

I smile brightly, because he has no clue what's coming.

 

 

"This way."

I pull Everly along with me, telling the others to stay in the room. Jeremy isn't restrained, but he'd be stupid to try and leave. Jason and Rylan surround him immediately, and Rylan sits on the table, placing his boots on Jeremy's leg.

He then proceeds to pull out his phone, and Jeremy's first wave of torture will be listening to him talk to Christina.

I decide it's break time. I make a quick announcement that we have less than an hour until Jack arrives, and to be ready. Everly looks confused as I lead her to my office, unlocking the door quickly.

"Will this really take an hour?" She asks. "And is it really Taco Tuesday?"

Her questions make me snort. I shake my head, ushering her inside the dark space. "Not even close. Once Jack gets here, it'll be fairly quick."

"Eric, why are all those people sitting in on that meeting? Shouldn't it be just the leaders in there? Should I even be in there?" She stops in the middle of my office, looking at me curiously.

"They're all necessary in one way or another. The only one you wouldn't know is Quinten. But he's there more for intimidation than anything else." I shut the door, and I head right to her. I walk her back a step, until she's against the wall, unable to stop myself from touching her. I want to reassure her before Jeremy talks that she should be prepared for what he's about to say. I wait until her eyes find mine, and I lean into her, brushing her hair off her shoulder.

"He's going to reveal some shitty information. Just be prepared." My nose touches hers, and I hope she understands why I'm warning her. Jeremy would be forced to answer whatever was asked of him. If I was right, that meant we'd hear a few things about her as well. Things we maybe didn't know, things that she didn't know. "Just sit there and listen and know that he'll be taken care of."

Before she can ask too much, questions I won't have a great answer for, I kiss her. The physicality of being this close to her is the best I can give her, because I, too, am unprepared for what we will hear. But I'm ready for it; I will respond appropriately, and should he deserve it, I will handle him just like I did Landon.

But I want her to be ready, because hearing how someone planned your downfall might bring up some bad memories.

So I kiss her. Hands in her hair, sliding beneath her ponytail, silently promising that I'll make it right. I'll make everything right, and no one will stop me.

"Eric."

She gasps my name as I kiss her again, my hands on each side of her head. I don't stop, only focusing on this, on her, until my phone buzzes. My head spins, thinking there's no way it's been an hour, but I'm fairly certain it's someone telling me to head back. It has to be.

I break away from Everly, the act painful yet necessary, and I focus on this, bringing us one step closer to finding Evelyn. One step closer to taking her down. One step closer to putting all this behind us.

I peer down at the screen of my phone, and Linda's message announces exactly that. She informs me they are awaiting my return, and I smile.

Jeremy wanted to play a game, and he's about to find out I never lose.

Ever.

"We need to head back," I inform her, letting my gaze slide back down to her mouth. I want to kiss her again, slam her back into the wall and hiss that we'll celebrate this again, but she's still trying to catch her breath, and our prolonged absence won't go unnoticed now that they've called for us.

Especially not with her flushed cheeks and messed up hair.

"Okay."

Once she's composed herself, she reaches for my hand, sliding her fingers between mine. She tightens them, the feeling evoking a warm, pleasant response from me.

"And Everly?"

She looks up at me, pretty and pink and smiling.

I bend down, my words only for her.

"It is Taco Tuesday."

 

 

 

"I brought Four."

It's the first thing Rylan says in the hallway, and he looks overly excited at having been sent to fetch his arch nemesis. "It wasn't entirely my idea, but we couldn't pull the security footage, so we had to get him. But I figured he'd want to stay for the entire show."

"Lovely." I answer lightly, not really giving a fuck where Four was. "Everyone's in there? Is Jack here?"

"He is." Rylan stops me, slyly stepping in between Everly and I. I'm forced to drop her hand, which prompts a dirty look from her, but he shakes his head. "He's uh…he's really excited to see you. Candor must be boring because he came right over here. Like, in ten minutes."

I stare at him. "And Jeremy?"

"He hasn't moved."

Rylan steps away from between us, and he motions at the doorway. "I'll meet you in there." He throws one long, pointedly dramatic look at Everly, and I nod. I reach for her, stopping her from heading right in there.

"You remember what I said? Just….take what he says and don't react."

Everly nods up at me, even though she looks mildly confused. Much like myself, she wanted to hear where he went. Why he left. Why he was back. I wanted to tell her his answers might make things worse, that hearing the things he did might bring everything right back up, all over again.

Rylan was apparently concerned about this as well.

"I know." She pauses, stepping closer to me. "Eric, how are they going to make him talk? I don't think he's going to say anything to you."

"He doesn't have a choice. He'll talk whether he wants to or not." I answer, and I slide my fingers back through hers. Together, we head toward the conference room, and now, right in the doorway stands Jack. He turns to look in our direction, his expression pleased at the sight of us, but focused.

Especially on my wife.

"It's nice to see you again, Everly." Jack greets her, extending his hand to hers. She takes it somewhat hesitantly, and he shakes her hand firmly. "You look well."

"Thank you. It's great to see you, too," Everly answers as politely as ever. I can see his stare stuck on her, taking in the sight of her in her uniform and her long, dark hair, and before he can ask her anything else, I step up right next to him.

I don't have time for his intense scrutiny of her, not now.

"Thank you for your assistance in this matter," I meet his curious stare, reluctantly pulled away from Everly. "He's in there. I'm hoping we can wrap this up in the next half hour."

Jack nods. "Of course. And if any relevant information comes up, you're prepared to put him on trial?"

I nod back. I'd already agreed to this earlier, and of course –this was what he'd want. A trial in Candor was far more official than a conference room interrogation, and would be pressing news. He and I both knew this interrogation was simply to see if Jeremy could be prosecuted, and if he could, it was my duty to bring him before a trial.

"Yes."

"Good. And you'll bring him to Candor? You know we will provide the most unbiased trial for him, should he confess to violations of your factional rules," Jack continues, looking directly at me.

"What exactly do you think he's going to confess to?" Everly asks both of us, but Max interrupts. His expression is forlorn, knowing this could drag on for some time.

"We're about to find out." He motions for us to follow him inside.

I let him lead the way, relieved to find that the conference has emptied out since the last time we were in here. The space is large and open, but tense. Jason and Rylan sit with Four in front of a laptop, all watching something. Arlene, Tori and Harrison are sitting together, patiently waiting to get started. Harrison is watching Jeremy with a funny squint, and Jeremy keeps avoiding his stare.

I head over to Rylan, and I'm rewarded with the sight of security footage. The same gritty, grainy video that I've watched countless times. I eye it for a second before moving on. I've purposely not looked at Jeremy. I know he's sitting there, watching Harrison watch him, and smart enough not to try and leave. I want him to know how little I think of him and his story, and I'm only pushing this because I know he's guilty.

"Anything come up while we were gone?" I ask, stopping behind Jeremy. I wave Jack past me, and he comes to a stop beside the table. His hands are in his pockets, antsy to get started.

"Not a thing. Four and Rylan pulled all the footage you asked for, but other than that… silence," Harrison announces, leaning back. "Whenever you're ready, we're good to go. Jeremy here has given his wordless agreement that this will be necessary."

"Alright, then. We'll get this over with so we can all go back to our business." I announce.

Everyone in the room sits up a little straighter. Next to me, Jack prepares the syringe. He pulls out a tiny bottle, the blue liquid cloudy and slippery, and stabs the needle through the stopper. A moment later, the syringe is full, and he straightens himself up.

"Jeremy."

My fingers find his head. He's already jerked back in his chair, unsure of what we are doing. But he knows truth serum when he sees it. I grasp onto him; one hand on his jaw, one on the side of his head, and I tilt it to expose his neck.

"May the truth set you free." Jack speaks eloquently, even and unbothered by the man in front of him. He neatly slides the needle into Jeremy's neck, then injects the liquid until the syringe is empty. I can feel it work through Jeremy the same way the simulation injections work. He fights it down with a shudder, and when I'm certain he's fine, I let go of him.

Jack and I both take a step back. He throws me a knowing smile, tight and quick, and we both wait for it to kick in.

The serum works almost instantly.

Jeremy shakes his head, feeling the lazy but powerful pull of the truth serum. It works fast; the serum attaches itself to all sorts of neurons, slips into his cells, coats his organs, and mixes with his blood stream. There is a slow recognition when he realizes this particular serum is strong. It will prevent him from doing anything but speaking the truth, and if he fights it, he'll be rewarded with a dash of pain. It'll increase every time he resists, until the pain is nearly unbearable.

Jeremy rubs his neck where the injection was, and shakes his head again, like he can knock the cloudy fog loose. "What did you give me?" He pauses, and he glances around the room. "I can't remember what I was thinking about."

"Good," I snarl. "Now, why did you leave Dauntless in the middle of your leadership program?"

My question is loud in the quiet space. It echoes, and Jeremy's natural instinct is to lie: he straightens up in his chair for a fraction of a second, then slumps forward.

"To go see Evelyn."

He answers without control. An automatic response prompted by the serum coursing through his veins. His hand flies up to cover his mouth, and his eyes are panic stricken. Everyone in the room leans forward, except for Four. He freezes, his fingers hovering over the keyboard as he witnesses this betrayal blossom.

"Why would you go see Evelyn?" I press on. The satisfaction I expect to find in knowing I'm right isn't there, only a roar of dull, uneasy fury.

Jeremy grinds his teeth together, doing his best not to answer. We both know his words will incriminate him, and he's trying to put off answering.

Too bad it hurts.

Badly.

"To help her."

"How did you know where she was?" My voice darkens, the tone sharpening itself to the point of attack. I pace back and forth now, walking behind him to keep myself busy. The back of his head mocks me, yet I refrain from touching him. There are far more questions to get through, but he's already told me enough that I could easily take him to trial.

In front of me, Jeremy does his best to beat the serum. But he can't. Just like you can't outsmart the peace serum or trick the one meant to induce dizzying landscapes. His clenched jaw does little to stop his words, and they fall out of his mouth with little effort. "I followed Four one day, and he led me straight to her."

The room is dead silent.

I don't look at Four; I know that's what everyone is expecting me to do, but I keep my stare on Jeremy.

"Why?" I prompt.

"I wanted to see where he was going. I found out who she was, why she was there. I liked her ideas, I liked what she stood for. He was stupid to not want to help her." Jeremy answers, again pained and irritated as he squirms in his seat.

"Four?" Max asks. "Four was stupid to not help Evelyn?"

To his credit, Four has stayed perfectly still. He had been typing something, searching for something in the security feed, but now he's waiting. His eyes have narrowed, and he leans forward to hear just how stupid he is.

"Yes. He visited her a few times, helped some of her people learn to defend themselves. Then he realized what she really wanted from him. He refused to help her after that." Jeremy raises his stare up to Four, then he drops it. His shoulders have hunched inward, the internal pain searing as he tries not to share this little fact with us.

Max throws me a heavy look, silently telling me to keep going. The news of Four helping his mother wasn't new; we'd long assumed he'd done more than train them to defend themselves. It didn't clear his name in any way, but it could potentially help his case.

"What did Evelyn want you to do?" I look over his head, at Jason and Rylan. Both are leaning in toward Four, and both have their stares glued to Jeremy.

Harrison is watching, too. But his expression is just as intense as theirs, maybe more so. Everly's is horrified, and I've noticed every time he says Evelyn, she sort of leans back, unconsciously trying to get away from the conversation.

Jeremy stays silent until he can't. Until the pain becomes too much, and it's easier to give in. "She wanted me to manipulate some things here in Dauntless in order to drive her son back to her. She needed him."

Four's hands clench into fists.

"Why?" Everly blurts out. She looks stunned, but her face has paled considerably. "Why did she need him?"

"Evelyn wanted her son to help her train her factionless warriors, and then help lead them in a war against Erudite and the whole faction system," Jeremy answers quickly, daringly defiant. He looks back at Four, and there's a slow recognition that he's sitting right there. Right across from him.

Ready to punch him.

"She thought if she could get him away from Tris, away from here, that she could get him to come back to her. He belongs with her and her army. He picked the wrong side."

He handles this news well.

Four's face darkens considerably, his private life pried open and picked apart by his mother. He sucks in a slow inhale, and Rylan eyes him out of the corner of his eye. Despite his dislike of Four, he's unwilling to let him attack Jeremy and ruin this for himself. Rylan looks up at me, silently reassuring me he's got this.

Beside me, Jack listens patiently. Quietly.

Intensely.

"That's not really her decision to make," Four snaps the words at Jeremy, then stands up abruptly. "What did you do to Tris?"

"I made sure she didn't try and get back together with you after your breakup, and I got her to go out with me. I told her how you really are. I know the real you. She was better off without you. It was easy to show her." Jeremy looks at him, really looks at him, and despite the effects of the serum, he looks satisfied.

"How else did you help Evelyn?" Everly asks.

Every head in the room turns to look at her. Four's glare is furious, not meant for her, but not wanting to hear anything else.

Unfortunately, Jeremy can't help but answer.

"Evelyn wanted to isolate Four, make him more likely to join her, so I made sure to keep Tris away from him. I made her realize how controlling he was, how he never believed in her. I left notes for Four that told him to go see Evelyn. I kept tabs on you and Eric. I told Evelyn when and how to get Vincent into Dauntless, to have him show up as an initiate named Colton. I gave her any information she asked for."

Everly seems to disappear a tiny bit. At Colton's name she leans back again, and her lips turn downward. I had warned her that hearing this would be unpleasant. It would take her right back to that moment, her head bashed against the wall, while she couldn't do anything but try to defend herself.

Her whole life here, watched and analyzed, by a man she was working with. Her routine, memorized and calculated, all in preparation of this carefully orchestrated attack.

"You just believed whatever Evelyn told you was right, and decided to fuck around with my life? You're an asshole." Four's words are spoken through gritted teeth, and he's so furious I don't doubt he'd leap across the table if he got the chance.

"Why did you want to help Evelyn?" Harrison speaks up, watching the scene in front of him play out with casual interest. "You're aware that she was planning to overthrow the whole system because of her personal beliefs."

Jeremy shifts in his chair. His discomfort is obvious, and he shakes his head. His skin flushes red as the answer fights to stay inside. "She's right. Every single one of you will be responsible for the downfall that will happen. Mark my words."

Jason and I lock eyes, and I realize this is a threat. A warning. A large, obvious hint that she's coming, and neither Everly nor Tris will be safe.

"That's enough," I interrupt, and my tone is evenly irritated. "So you followed Four, helped Evelyn with whatever she asked of you, helped set up Everly's kidnapping, betrayed your faction, and then abandoned your position here. Why come back?"

Jeremy lets out a sharp groan, and his head falls to the side. "Evelyn wanted me to. She'll come back for her revenge. You took Four and Everly away from her. Evelyn's owed something, and she won't stop until she gets it."

"She won't set foot in Dauntless." Four snarls with an anger I wasn't aware he possessed. "And you won't, either."

He looks ready to kill. His hands are balled into fists, and he stares Jeremy down intensely as Rylan reaches to pull him back down.

Jeremy barely blinks.

"I think we should stop and take him to Candor immediately, and we can start his trial there. We can finish up with any further information that's needed once we arrive." Max interjects. I'd almost forgotten he was there; he'd been quiet, letting me take the lead on this, but I knew he was filing it all away.

"Everly." Jeremy raises up his head slowly, and I watch in slow motion as Everly turns to look at him. "Watch out. You'd better watch your back. You and Tris both."

I reach for him at the same time Four takes off. He jerks away from Rylan before Rylan can stand up, and he comes to a stop beside me. No one else tries to hold him back. Jack steps out of the way, and Max is blocked by Harrison sliding into the aisle for a better view.

I dig my fingers into Jeremy's shoulder, and he winces. Four throws me one hell of a look, and there's a second of understanding that passes between us. He's threatened both Everly and Tris, and not just casually. By name. A definitively stark warning that she's coming for them.

I roughly pull Jeremy up, until I can hiss into his ear.

"Did you just threaten my wife?"

He shakes his head frantically, trying to wiggle away from everything. The pain, the serum.

His words.

"I'm trying to warn her."

"Why?" Everly asks, and she sounds horrified. When I look at her, she looks slight in the chair. She's ghostly pale, and she stares at him with large, green eyes. "I didn't do anything to her. She would have killed me in exchange for the Dauntless army."

Jeremy sneers at her. "She'll come after all of you. But you all deserve it."

Before I can remind Jeremy how we deal with trash here, there is a loud cracking sound as Four's fist connects with Jeremy's face. His head flies to the side, jerking at a painful angle considering I'm holding onto him. I don't let him go; I keep him upright, and Four comes right after him.

"Where is she?" Four hisses the words almost inaudibly, his jaw clenched down.

"Fuck, get him off me," Jeremy yelps, and he struggles to wipe the blood that's slowly dripping from his nose. He staggers under my hold, dodging left and right with a groan. "I think you broke my nose."

I look over him, his face bloodied and his skin sweaty, and I find myself looking at Four. I'd normally have shooed him back to his seat right now, preferring to handle Jeremy myself. But I decide to let him have this moment. His fury is rightful and as equal as mine, and one of us has to hold Jeremy in place.

So I silently tell him to go for it, I won't stop him.

I've been there.

On the brink of madness, a feeling brought forth by knowing the loss of the only person I cared about. I can sympathize with the shaking rage that's building up, the unfair dangerous threat of his own mother, turning against the only person who's ever made him happy.

In this moment, there is a mutual understanding, and I nod my head.

He knocks him out easily.

All it takes is one more punch, right in the middle of his broken nose to make Jeremy black out. I feel the consciousness slip from him, and he slumps out of my grasp. I could help him up, but I leave him there, a bloody, unconscious heap on the ground.

Next to me, Jack Kang makes a sound in his throat, one an awful lot like a groan of dismay. His chance at trial slipping away right in front of him when Jeremy doesn't move.

"You better hope he's passed out and not dead." Harrison announces. He pauses to take a sip of his coffee, looking just as relaxed as if he'd been watching his favorite TV show. "You know how to get blood out of the carpet?"

Arlene is quick to smirk and she rises to her feet. "I'm assuming he passed out from the pain." She checks her watch, the heads to the door. "I'll be back in a bit. We can set his nose before you continue questioning him."

She heads past Quinten, clearly on a mission, and I decide we will.

"We definitely aren't done here," I inform a passed out Jeremy, kicking his side just to make a point. "Jack, you'll need to inject him again when he wakes up."

"No."

Jack refuses.

He's polite about it, but he shakes his head firmly, and neatly picks up the vial from the table.

"We agreed that if he admitted to violating factional rules, we'd finish this at his trial." He raises an eyebrow at me and takes a step back from the body in front of him. "We need to make sure you get the rest of his testimony in a more formal setting. You need concrete answers, and this process needs to be uninterrupted."

He pauses again, this time throwing a look in Four's direction. I could bark at him that this wasn't unusual for Dauntless. We weren't about court proceedings and order here, and I certainly wasn't going to stop someone from beating the shit out of Jeremy after he'd threatened my wife.

But I understand.

Jack had no clue regarding the details of this backstory, and I didn't have time to fill him in. He could learn about Four's life on his own time, and I would have to deal with it and bring Jeremy to Candor to finish this up.

"Fine," I answer. I motion for Jason and Rylan to come help me. "One of you go get Arlene back here. We'll get him up and awake, and then we'll take him to Candor. We'll finish this today."

"Tomorrow," Jack counters, pleased as ever. "I have a few things to do before we prosecute him."

I blink at him. I can do nothing but nod, because I have no clue what the fuck he needed to do, but I wouldn't get that answer. I'd called him here as both a personal and professional favor, but ultimately, this spanned multiple factions now.

"Fine." I nod at Rylan, and he instantly slips out to find Arlene. Max and Harrison rise to thank Jack, and they each shake his hand before the three of them walk toward the door.

"Eric," Max calls out, glancing at me. "A word, please."

I give both him and Jeremy a dirty look. My main concern is to get over to Everly. She's sitting there, looking sickened by what Jeremy had said, and I want to take her home. I want to make her forget all about this, including the vague threat on her life.

But I can't, until I talk to Max.

Fortunately, she's strong.

She forces herself to stand up, chewing on her lip as her eyes flash over to me, then Four. She heads over to him, and he looks down at her. They talk quietly, both of them looking stressed out over these revelations that had been brought up. While Four might have gotten to beat Jeremy up, there's unease all over his face and I can read it clear as day.

His involvement in this war. All his secrets spilled out in front of us. His own mother, using him against himself.

And now this, his girlfriend, pregnant, and on Evelyn's hit list.

"What do you want to do with Four?" Max looks at me, serious as ever. "Based off today's interrogation, you can run with this however you want. You can prosecute him for aiding a wanted criminal. Even teaching them to defend themselves would be enough to have him arrested as an accomplice." He stops, and there it is.

All the bad blood that had ever swirled between us, culminating with this. My chance, to get rid of him. To end everything he's ever done here. His life's work. His life with Tris. Their future. I could have him taken along with Jeremy, and once it got out that he'd gone to help Evelyn, it would be over for him. No matter the reason, he'd gone against the Dauntless faction, even if it was just once.

I shake my head.

"Leave him out of it. We'll word the questions to make his involvement…less than."

"You sure about this?" Max doesn't look in any real hurry to apprehend Four, and I know why he's asking me. Because if this comes from me, this decision to keep Four on our side, if it blows up in my face, it's my own fault. I know Max will agree with me, and the logical part of my brain is screaming that I should be taking this and running with it. I could finally have what I wanted, which was his life in the palm of my hand.

But I can't.

Out of everything that's happening around me, it's no longer what I want.

"I am. We need him fighting for us. He's got reasons to stay here. He doesn't have any reasons to go back to Evelyn. Making him pay for a mistake that he's already paying for is pointless." I lower my voice even further, and Max leans in. "Our first mistake was underestimating what he was capable of. We all know that now. We won't make that mistake again, but I don't think we have to worry about that anymore."

We both glance over at him and Everly, still talking, still looking distraught, and I know this is the right decision.

"Alright. I'll default to you on this one." Max nods his head. "You'll have to make arrangements for tomorrow. Jack's not going to let us get away with only me going. You have coverage?"

My stare falls to Everly, her head tilted up at Four and she smiles tightly. There's a resilience to her, a grace with which she handled being threatened.

I know just what to do.

"Yeah, I do."

Max nods again, and for the first time today, there's a smile on his face.

 

 

 

"You want me to what?"

Everly's hands press on my chest, pushing me back without any real effort. It's a wan plea for me to stop undoing the button on her pants, but I'm in no mood. I swat her hands away, pushing the dark fabric down her hips, and I cock my eyebrow at her.

"Take off your boots."

I'm running low on patience, and it sneaks into my tone. She picks up on this, immediately reaching down to untie the laces. She's tied them properly today, and it takes her a second of fumbling to undo the knot.

"Before that." She kicks the boots to the side of the bed, and I lunge for her. I grasp the bottom of her shirt, yanking it up over her dark hair. "Eric."

I smirk at her. I waste no time undressing myself. I throw my shirt to the side, not caring that it's fallen to the floor." I said, 'I'm leaving you in charge of the faction while we're gone'. All the leaders will be gone except for you, Jason, and Rylan. We won't be gone long."

"Umm, Eric..." Everly's eyes are wide, and she watches my fingers with great interest as she struggles to come up with a complete sentence. "I don't know…"

I undo the belt around my waist, then the pants. I kick them off, and I watch her carefully.

Seconds ago, I'd told her I was leaving her in charge of Dauntless. Since we were moving through her training at warp speed, this was the next step. She'd have backup, of course. Jason and Rylan would make sure nothing catastrophic happened, but she'd spend an entire day, overseeing the faction.

"You'll do fine," I answer, stepping toward her. She reaches for me automatically, just as I reach for her. My hands find her hips, pulling her closer, and I walk us back until she hits the end of the bed. "I trained you. You know what to do. You can handle anything that comes your way."

I kiss her before she can argue.

There are a million reasons why she could think she shouldn't be in charge, but she only needed a single reason to believe she could be in charge. And she would be fine. I can feel the protests rising up, trying to slip out as her lips press against mine, and I push them away just like I did her hands.

"If anyone gives you a hard time..." I kiss along her jaw, down her neck, feeling her breathing quicken. My fingers reach down until they find the soft, pink fabric of her underwear, and she stills. "You can shoot them."

She laughs.

After an entire afternoon of tense interrogation, the sound is pleasant.

"I don't think I'll need to shoot anyone while you're gone," She answers, and her fingers slide through my hair. She grasps onto the top, pulling when I yank her underwear down. I could slow this down, but after today, I'm officially out of patience for everything.

"Everly." I say her name slowly, moving back to let her step out of them gracelessly. She manages to keep her balance, and I watch for the moment they hit the floor. I reach for the strap of her bra, just as soft, just as pink, and I wonder where on Earth she found these. I could only imagine Christian had worked hard to make them once he discovered she was buying his entire pastel collection. "Is every piece of underwear you own pink?"

She smiles up at me, turning as pink as the lacey bra she'd picked out. "Not every piece."

"Uh huh," I mutter, no longer interested in what she bought. I had long ago decided I would simply take it all off, and I'm satisfied when I do just that. For a moment, she stands there completely naked, blinking at me. Our eyes lock, and I lunge for her.

"Some are darker pink. Oh!" She hits the mattress with a squeak, and I've already taken my boxers off. After this day, the threat from Jeremy, the heavy return of Evelyn, I wanted nothing more than to sink into her, until it was all a distant memory.

"Fascinating," I answer her dryly, still not caring. I liked the pink, and we were both well aware that I liked it. There was no sense in pretending otherwise. "Don't move."

She's obedient. She does reach for me, only to pull me closer as I seek out the very first spot I'd ever marked on her. I'd long been fascinated by ruining her pretty skin with my teeth, liking that it left behind a mark of her and I. It had been a subtle, yet visible, reminder that she belonged with me. That our time together was something no one else had, and never would.

She squirms beneath me, tilting her head as her nails sink into my scalp, and her exhale is a sigh of relief.

"Are you alright after shooting Jeremy?" I ask her lowly, my mouth still on her skin.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Everly answers, sighing softly as my teeth sink back into her skin. "I didn't want him here. I knew he wasn't up to anything good."

I take her answer with a grain of salt. I skim across her collarbone, to the other side of her neck. My hand turns her head, then slides back down.

"You handled him well, just like I taught you," I praise her arrogantly, and I am proud of her. I'd liked watching her shoot him, her gaze glued to him, her gun aimed without fear. There was something about the sight of her like that; she looked unassuming, but she'd have killed him if she had the chance.

I can appreciate that.

My hips work against hers, my dick already hard and aching. Everly's hips meet mine, and her head falls back. Her throat is exposed, submissively letting me lick my way down it, enjoying her groan.

I idly wonder if I should reward her. A high mark on a report I'd turn in to myself didn't seem sufficient enough. So I touch her, lazily skimming down her ribs, my fingers grazing beneath the swell of her breast. I feel her wiggle under the light touch, and I reach up to cup my palm over the soft skin. She is oddly warm, and every part of her feels exaggerated. Softer, fuller, all for me.

"Eric." She sighs my name in a breathy, wanton exhale, meant to hurry me up. I smirk at her neediness, wanting the same sense of relief after this day. I kiss down her chest, taking her nipple in my mouth, and biting down. Everything in me tenses up when she whimpers, then politely instructs me to bite harder.

I listen to her orders. I like that she's this turned on. I like that she can tell me what she wants, and had it been anyone else, I'd have laughed in their face. I wouldn't even be over them, lazily kissing and sucking as I pleased, fingers pulling and pinching her other nipple, evoking these tiny, dick hardening mews that I didn't even know she was capable of.

Her knees draw up to trap me against her, and I rise up slowly. The sight of her always feels new. Like there's something I'm missing, or maybe I've overlooked.

Today is no different.

She is flushed, her hair spilling everywhere around her. She is no longer pale and ghostly, but a warm blush as her skin heats up.

"Even your skin looks pink," I tease her, trailing my fingers over her collarbone. I meet her stare, her green eyes dark and heavy with lust and impatience.

"Are you stopping?" She asks, fumbling to reach for me. I shake my head no, reclining back to look at her. She's sprawled out on our bed, one hand pressed against my pillow, looking up at me. Normally, she'd look away. She'd blink or smile, but eventually her stare would falter.

But not today.

She's looking up at me with the same heady desire I feel. The same lusty, heated stare that teems with dissatisfaction that I'm not touching her.

I can't remember a time ever feeling like this. This turned on, this ready to lose it all over her, and she hasn't even touched me.

I reach for her, my hands finding her hips, and I yank her down the bed. "Turn over." My voice lowers when she does, carefully lying back down onto the sheets. "I've been waiting for this ever since I saw you on the security footage."

She makes a tiny sound of something, probably surprise that I'd wanted to fuck her watching her shoot Jeremy. It wasn't hard to see why I'd be turned on by the idea, but this is even better than I'd imagined. I take a moment to draw this out. I brush her hair off her back, kissing the nape of her neck, then down her spine. I hover over her, enjoying the way she wiggles beneath me, seeking out any sort of friction. My erection presses against her ass, and I have to clench my jaw shut when she pushes her hips back at me.

I kiss my way down her back, pausing to admire our initials permanently placed there, and it's all I need to see.

"Get on your knees, Everly."

I say her name while I help her. I pull her up, helping make sure she's balanced, watching her back arch. I've had her like this before, but rarely. It was a position I'd enjoyed, but with her, I much preferred to see her. But this was how I wanted her now, and she certainly wasn't complaining.

I knock her knees apart, and her head falls down in anticipation.

"I would have fucked you in the conference room had it just been you and me in there." I inform her, and I would have. Had it been just her and I, I could have. I could have been quick, making sure we were both satisfied, until she could only say my name. "It's a shame we didn't have time."

I settle myself behind her, and I adjust her back just a bit. The sight is incredibly appealing. I'd never paid attention to anyone else in front of me, but I can't help but touch her again. Fingers over her spine, working down until she shakes her head.

"We could have done this in your office," she blurts out, and I like her thinking.

I think of her plan while I touch her, fingers trailing lower and lower, along the inside of her thighs. She squirms expectedly, my touch nowhere near where she wants it, until I slide them between the soft folds.

"Good idea, Amity." I force myself to focus, like I'm not slowly stroking her. She's slick and wet, long turned on by this whole ordeal. I find the most swollen, sensitive skin, and her hips jerk backward. She half collapses, pushing herself against my hand in a desperate attempt to get off.

"You like this, don't you?" I could watch her all day, her back arching again, groaning in frustration when my fingers slip from where she wants them. I return after a moment of her frustration, and I work slowly. I'm determined to make her forget about today, and I think I might be accomplishing that. I'm sure of it; she tenses up when my fingers slide inside her, slowly moving in and out. She whimpers when I withdraw them, and the sound stays in my ears.

"All of this is because I shot Jeremy, isn't it?" Everly somehow manages to form a full sentence, despite how close she is to coming all over my hand. I watch her with great, lusty satisfaction. It's almost too much, and I relieve some of the built up pressure by taking the length of my erection in my hand. I stroke myself up and down, the sensation not really what I want, but enough to dull the aching need. Eventually, it starts to feel good. I touch myself easily, well aware she's watching, as my hand glides over the head, then back down my shaft.

"I watched your whole patrol." I decide I've had enough. I rise up on my knees, and there's a flash of frustration as I stop what I was doing. I position myself behind her, the head of my dick right at her entrance, so close. So warm. So wet. "I had no idea watching you storm around in that uniform would be such a turn on."

I push into her without thinking about it. She groans, the sound far better than anything I'd heard all day. Everly reaches back as she takes a second to get used to the feeling, her fingers grazing my side, and I pull back slowly. The sensation is deliciously cruel, and it makes it all the better when I thrust back into her.

"Eric, you feel so good." She groans, and her words are neatly put together. I pull her back up onto her knees, then back further. The attempt is clumsily orchestrated, but worth it. She leans back, and I reach for her hand. I shove it between her legs, listening to her moan my name as both our fingers stroke the overly sensitive nerves. She whimpers, and I feel her motions grow sloppy.

"Fuck, Everly."

I can barely see straight. My fingers guide hers, and there is the overwhelming urge to simply devour her. To overtake her, keeping her all for myself, from here until the end of eternity.

"I'm really close," she whimpers, and I hazily think how this only works with her. How only she has ever evoked this response from me, and there is nothing other than her.

"Good," I hiss, unable to really think. "You deserve it after all your hard work today."

Her head falls back, and she bites her lip as her body tenses up. Everything is a sweaty, slow mess of our skin pressed against each other, our hands together, and her hair blurring my vision.

"You're mine." I blurt this thought out, having said it over and over, the only thing I've ever been sure of. It causes everything in me to tense up: my thighs, my chest, my breathing. My pace grows sloppy, my hips working at their own pace, and my lungs screaming as the warm, burning sensation takes over my entire body. "Only mine."

"Oh, God."

Everly gasps the words, and she comes spectacularly, all over me. There's a rush of everything, mostly incoherent, but all pleasant. I come right along with her, the pulsing release hard enough that my eyes close. Everly says my name again, my hands skimming up to squeeze her breasts as she rocks against me.

She reaches back for my head. Her fingers greedily pull me toward her, and despite the odd angle, she kisses me. It's frantic and lost, only satisfied when I kiss her back in the exact same manner.

I slide out of her with extreme reluctance. I move her hair off her face, smirking when she leans back against me. She's facing me now, and her eyes are sleepy and content.

"You really need to shoot people more often." I tease her, and she laughs. I like the sound of it; it sometimes feels as rare as my smiles, but it's become more frequent. I like when she giggles, the sound unfamiliar and light, and I like that it's for me to witness.

"Maybe I should," she pretends to think it over, her hands skimming down my abdomen. Her actions cause an immediate reaction, and I decide we aren't done. "If this is how I'm going to be rewarded."

I pull her against me, kissing her fiercely. Her legs slide between mine, and the feeling of her pressed up against me is all I need. I break away from her, easily untangling my legs from her, and knocking her hands away. She scowls as the cold air hits her, but I silently promise her she'll be warm.

I reach for her ankle, and I yank her down the bed. She yelps in surprise, and her eyes widen as I push her legs apart.

"I can think of a few more ways to reward you." I smirk at her one more time, the green so bright and pretty, and the last thing I see before I resume her reward. She laughs again, this time –mixed with a warm gasp. "Happy Tuesday, Everly."


	48. The Death of Everly Coulter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick note: Due to the incredible lack of feedback on these chapters, this will be the final chapter of The Initiation. 
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who took the time to review, to those who have followed the story since the start of The Training, and who have been a huge support. I feel like the time has come to move onto some other things. I may come back to this one eventually, but for now, this will be it. 
> 
> Thank you SO much to Bamberlee for editing the past 48 chapters 💙!! You've been amazing.

Everything gets approved sometime during the night.

For once, I'm not the one up doing the work. There was an entire team focused on this while I went to bed, arranging everything, down to the minute we will leave for Candor. I blearily read the email at two am, having woken up to Everly mumbling something in her sleep.

I read it twice, making sure everything is correct, then I throw my phone back on the dresser.

In a few hours, I'll head out to Candor. I'll leave Everly here to oversee things, and I'll listen to Jeremy talk about all the ways he helped plan to kidnap my wife right in front of me. I'll listen to him talk about Evelyn, shedding light on the secrets I didn't get to hear before Four punched him unconscious, and presumably, I'll find out where Evelyn is hiding.

But lying here, in a soft bed with Everly's head on my chest, means that heading to Candor is the last thing in the world I want to do. I want to close my eyes and sink back into a deep sleep, one where the only pressing thing is her weight against me. For once in my life, I'd be content to let someone else handle it. I dreamily wonder if I could send Four in my place. He seemed to have a new delightfully violent side to him, and he could easily step in just to listen to the trial.

But if I want to keep Everly safe, and I promised her I would, then I will see this through until I personally make sure Jeremy takes his very last breath.

 

 

At an hour that seems unfair even to me, I untangle myself from Everly. I pull my legs from between hers, unwrap my arms from around her waist, and try to wiggle free from her. I ignore her low groan when I lift her off me, hoping to move her onto her own pillow. She's more than half asleep, her limbs heavy and her head still in the crook of my neck, and she shakes her head no.

She shares the same wave of disappointment at my alarm going off as I do.

"Everly." I say her name slowly, still tired, and unwilling to leave her. "I have to get up or I'll be late."

"Stay here," she mumbles, and she pushes her head further against me. Like if she doesn't move, then neither will I. I reach my hand up to slip it into her hair, enjoying the soft strands as they wrap around my fingers. I pull on her hair gently, until she looks up, blinking a dark protest at me. "You don't need to go. We can stay here and rule Dauntless together."

Her words make me smile.

We could rule Dauntless together. I'm sure there are some here who thought we fancied ourselves to be the king and queen of Dauntless, when in reality, all I wanted was a life away from their prying eyes. But she looks like royalty, if royalty were forced to wake up at an early hour to babysit the faction.

"If I could, I would." I stop, carefully moving her hair out of her eyes. She blinks again, still not any more awake than before. "But I have work to do today. And so do you."

Her scowl is immediate.

While determined and ambitious, Everly was in no mood to throw her uniform on and spend the day in the office. I'd learned she fit in well here for a multitude of reasons, including that none of the other leaders loved to be up early. I didn't mind that she slept in or seemed to live to go back to bed. But we had shit to do today, and that meant she was getting up whether she liked it or not.

"Get off me, Amity. Otherwise, I gotta leave Karl in charge and he's not going to let you shoot anyone." I smirk at her expression, then politely shove her off me. She lands closer to her own side of the bed, sulking beneath long, messy hair, face down on my pillow. I wonder if she's trying to suffocate herself so she can stay home, but eventually, she presses up onto her elbows.

"Fine," she mutters, looking up at me like I've personally done this to her. "I'll get up."

I watch her, fully entertained that this seemed far more painful than anything else she'd done while being here. It was like she'd forgotten all the days I woke her up at four thirty, and by five she was being dragged down to the training room. This is a whole other level of Everly, one who I might have to carry out of bed.

"It was easier to wake you up when you were just an initiate," I call out, heading toward the bathroom. The sooner I shower and get going, the sooner I can get back to Dauntless and climb back into bed with her.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

Her response is barely heard over the spray of the water, and I laugh as I step in.

It had been easier to wake her up when she first got here, for a few reasons. If I had to pick one, I'd say it was because she was actually sleeping, as opposed to gasping my name far into the latest hours of the night.

I decide I'll make it up to her tonight.

After all, what better way of rewarding her with a job well done, then showing her just how much I was starting to like it when she actually wore her uniform.

 

 

I drop the folders onto her desk while she sits in my office, patiently waiting for me to return.

I had done my best to arrange a few last-minute things before I leave. I was planning on being gone for most of the day. Jack was all about presentation and showmanship, and this was just the moment he'd been waiting for. The chance to involve himself deeper into this case, making him an integral part of the war against Evelyn. I knew this meant I'd be focused on what was going on in Candor, and therefore, unable to monitor Dauntless with the same intensity I'd normally have.

That meant making sure everything was in place. Linda knew I'd be gone, and she'd cheerfully informed me she'd help Everly with anything she needed in the office. Quinten would bring her lunch. Jason and Rylan would be here; both had work to do, and it was assumed they'd be using the day to catch up the things Brittney hadn't even started, but it was also assumed they made sure no one tried to fuck with her.

Four, though my absolute last resort for everything in this world, would also be here.

In theory, everything should be fine. So long as the faction went about its day and didn't do anything entirely too stupid, I'd come home to Everly, make dinner, and we'd go to bed early.

I walk through her door into darkness, and I flick the lights on to reveal an office fifty degrees warmer than my own. Everly's office was right next to mine. I'd chosen it not because it was close and I didn't trust her, but because it was the only one open. She was rarely in it, but today, she would be.

In a moment of brilliance, I'd decided I would leave her actual work to do. She'd have a normal day of work ahead of her, but this would be something to fall back on. She'd have a few moments where she might wonder what to do, and this would answer her question. These reports were things we'd have to go over anyway. She could skim them, follow my notes, and respond appropriately. I smile as I neatly arrange them, knowing they are all boring.

Factional Resourcing.

Security Codes.

Security Breaches.

Security Codes and Breaches by Faction.

Updated Interfactional Policies.

Computer Software Updates.

Quarterly Inventory Audits by Faction.

A lunch schedule from the cafeteria.

These were all things that came to me. They all held different levels of importance, and she'd quickly find out that it took far more work to run this faction than most thought. We might have a more active and assumed to be exciting job protecting the factions, but at the end of the day, someone still had to balance the budgets.

I turn the lights off when I leave, throwing one final look back at her desk.

It's completely covered, and if she was thrilled to get up early today, she'll be even more thrilled to stumble upon this to-do list.

 

 

Leaving Dauntless is easier said than done.

Once I was sure things were in order, I was joined by Jason and Rylan, both looking serious. One looked seriously put out. And the other looked seriously impressed that Everly was up this early and was sitting in front of my desk.

"If all goes according to plan, we'll be back before dinner. If we run into any problems, it may be later." I stare at Everly while I pace back and forth, antsy to get going. "We don't expect any problems with Jeremy cooperating."

Everly looks up at me, and for a half a second, I expect her to ask to come along. The trial could be fascinating to watch if you'd never seen one before, but I knew that it would be long and drawn out, and the information coming up would possibly be worse than what Jeremy had already revealed. Having her there might not be the smartest move, especially if Jeremy threatened anything.

Behind her, Jason and Rylan watch me. They're both dressed in the same uniform I am, and both are more than slightly upset they're being left behind. I'd tried to impress upon Rylan that this was important. That him being here was reassuring Everly that she had someone looking out for her, but he didn't seem to believe me.

At all.

"I don't doubt the three of you will be able to keep an eye on things here," I keep talking, ignoring him and Jason eyeballing each other. Jason clears his throat, and the look on his face tells me I'm in for a long day.

"Yes?" I look at him, rolling my eyes when he smiles in an unimpressed grimace. "Jason, do you have a question?"

"I do. So we're all equals here, right? Me, Rylan, and Everly?" He looks over at Rylan, and I know exactly where this is going. "While you and the others are gone?"

I nod wordlessly.

"So why am I assigned to oversee the third floor and the dining hall?" Jason is clearly insulted, and next to him, Rylan does his best not to laugh.

He fails.

Miserably.

"Because last time you were left in charge of anything, you wound up flooding the training room," Rylan very slickly points out, and he shakes his head. Everly looks up at them, and there's a flash of strange curiosity across her face.

"You really did that, Jason? You flooded the training room?" Everly asks, and my entire plan of her having a normal, uneventful day unravels.

Jason sighs in exasperation as he throws Everly one wounded, put out glare. "No, Everly. I did not flood the training room. I flooded the bathroom, and it made its way out to the training room. There's a main water line in there, and it accidentally burst while I was testing how much weight it could hold."

She smiles. She looks up at me, and she's trying not to laugh. "Seriously?"

I press my fingers to my temples, praying the sudden jolt of pain was from a lack of coffee, and not the thought that I would return to Dauntless, now an underwater city. "Yes. And that is why you are assigned to oversee two areas that don't have any visible water main lines."

"That's hardly fair," Jason protests, but I don't answer him. My phone vibrates, and my luck only continues when I get a message from Harrison. He asks how tall I am, and I scowl at my phone, wondering what the fuck he was doing.

"Jason, how much could it hold? Did you find out?"

My gaze snaps up from my phone, to Everly, the only logical person in this faction, completely curious about the time Jason nearly destroyed the place.

"Everly, don't ask him anything else. No one will be testing any water lines today." I bark at her, and Jason shakes his head.

"Well, there's no need now." He mutters, and he crosses his arms over his chest.

I can see it now.

I'll return to a faction completely soaked. Walls caved in. My living room, ruined because Jason needed to prove how strong he was. I close my eyes, envisioning the disaster I would return to, and I'd never get to bed early. "Are there any more questions? I need to get going."

Rylan and Everly shake their heads. Jason looks lost in thought, still mulling over being assigned an area where he could do the least amount of damage. This had been Max's doing, but I fully backed this decision. I reach for the files on Jeremy I'd printed out, when I hear Jason defensively tell Everly what happened.

"The one down there was old. That particular one can hold a little over three hundred pounds. Two hundred pounds of pure muscle and one hundred pounds of this girl whose name I never quite understood. Maria? Maritza? Marsala?"

"You aren't even a hundred pounds of any muscle," Rylan interrupts. "And isn't Marsala a wine?"

The girl's name wasn't any of those things.

It had been Maria, and I only know this because the trauma of being with Jason while the pipe had burst had lingered. She'd been so horrified at what had happened, that she kept showing up in my office, panicking that she'd be in trouble.

Before I can remind him of this, Max arrives with Tori and Harrison. They all look raring to go, and they're cheerfully discussing whether or not Jeremy should be executed.

"You ready?" Max asks, walking past everyone and over to me. "We should head out. Jack said he'd like to get started by ten and it's nearly nine-thirty now."

I nod. I despised being late, and Jack wouldn't appreciate it, either. "I agree. The rest of you..." I eye them all –Jason still insulted, Rylan, thoughtful over Jason's chagrin, and Everly, watching the two of them. "Good luck."

Jason and Rylan both nod at me. I swear at them silently, that if anything happens while I'm gone, I'll have their heads, and they seem to get the hint. I grab the papers and my phone, and I quickly skim the newest message. It's from Four, and I don't have to be psychic to know what it says.

I debate how to answer him. Telling him I'll fill him in when I'm back seems awfully friendly, even if he is overseeing the security of the faction. But not telling him just because he's Four doesn't feel particularly mature, given that I'd held Jeremy in place while he punched him.

Before I can answer, Max turns to Everly, feeling the need to pretend he's in charge.

"Everly, I noticed you only have two months left in your leadership training. Today will be a great learning exercise for you. There's nothing better than this sort of experience."

She smiles back at him, but her smile is like a deer in headlights.

He's hinting that she can take Brittney's place. He hasn't brought it up to me, but his tone implies he's banking on her finishing up and slipping right into a role as Leader. He's thinking she'll take over for Brittney, still quarantined to the infirmary after trying to chop off her own hair, still with no return date. In theory, it should work. But there's a hesitation to Everly, and I've felt it for a few weeks now. While she could easily do the job of a Leader, I wasn't entirely sure it was something she was sold on.

I wasn't blind.

I could see her eyes glaze over while she read spreadsheets, and her cheerful albeit confused email responses made me smile. She was trying her best, but she couldn't force herself to care about some of the trivial matters that made up the faction. Being a Leader could be all consuming, and if she wasn't ready, I wouldn't force her.

I step closer to her, her gaze far away as she envisions being forced to spend her days trapped in an office, and I nudge her with my elbow. My fingers graze hers, wanting to slide through them, but now isn't the time.

"Everly."

I catch her stare, and I'm right.

There's a flash of mild panic there, hidden beneath the apprehension of how this day will go.

"You'll do fine. I'll see you for dinner," I make sure she's looking at me. "Don't attempt to cook anything."

She nods her head, and her lips turn up the slightest bit at my weak warning.

"Don't worry, I won't." Her fingers curl against mine, and Max slips past us. He's distracted by Linda, calling his name and asking him if he's authorized something, but her words are lost in the shuffle.

"I left you some stuff to do on your desk. It's all paperwork that you know how to do, and in the worst case scenario, you can ask Rylan for help." I tell her lowly, hoping this is reassuring to her. My fingers have tightened on hers, and I hope it doesn't come to her needing Rylan.

Who knew what he would tell her to do.

"I'll do my best," Everly promises, and she leans closer to me.

"Or you can text me." I step closer to her, and she looks up in surprise.

"You'll answer?"

I frown, not liking her question or her surprise over it. Of course I'd answer her.

At least, I'd try.

I couldn't predict how this day would go, but if she needed me, I'd do whatever I could to help her. "I'll try the best I can. I have no idea if Max has anything else planned after Jeremy's trial." I lean down, closing the final distance between us, and my lips brush against hers. "Bye, Everly."

The moment is fleeting.

I pull back at the sound of Max calling my name, and I can only hope Everly's day goes smoothly.

"Bye, Eric." She says my name as I leave, and the sound stays with me. It lingers while I instruct Max to follow me, and we head down the hallway, toward the elevators. There's an odd sense of unease in the air, and I realize this is the first day I'll be apart from Everly, and it's entirely my decision.

I think of this for a long time.

 

 

"You didn't want to bring her along?"

Harrison sits next to me, eating his breakfast while I drive. He and I had gone in one truck, and we were followed by Tori, Max, Jeremy, and an entire patrol squad surrounding him. Behind them was another truck, bringing along a crew of our largest, strongest soldiers.

"Everly?" I turn to look at him, and he offers me a donut. I shake my head no. "No. She's overseeing Dauntless today."

"Is that better than coming along to this trial?" Harrison questions, and he props his feet up on the dashboard. He kicks at the GPS screen, causing it to black out. I scowl at him and he ignores me. "Piece of shit never works. Did you want her to stay behind? Or is this for her benefit?"

"Both." I answer, and I turn the truck left. "She already heard what he had to say once. I don't think rehashing the details of all this is something she needs to sit through."

"I agree." He stares at me out of the corner of his eye for a moment, then leans his head back, closing his eyes. "What he says might shake things up. She might not feel safe in Dauntless if she knows how they got in."

"Great." I mutter, and I have the tiniest speck of reassurance in my decision to have her stay behind. "That would be just what I need."

"She'll be fine. You left her with your two friends. They're as dumb as a box of rocks, but at least they'll keep an eye on her. It's better if she stays put even if someone tries something there." Harrison keeps his eyes shut, and I take my eyes off the road to stare at him.

"Are you alright?" I take in his oddly pale appearance against the heavy black uniform. I'd never paid much attention to him, but in this moment, I can't help but notice the low energy radiating from him. "You look tired."

"I am tired." He opens one eye, then shuts it. "I was emailing late into the night. Didn't sleep much."

"I see." I glance back at the road, taking the right side as we near the Dauntless border. "Who were you emailing?"

I don't know why I'm asking him. Small talk isn't my thing at all, nor is openly discussing Everly with him. I have the inkling he's worried about her, though I can't place why. She's fine, safe in Dauntless, as much as she can be.

"If I tell you, I'd have to kill you."

His answer makes me snort. I don't put much stock into it, because when I glance back at him, he's sound asleep.

Both him and his secrets.

 

 

The first text comes from Rylan, right as Jack leads us inside the interrogation room. The room is large, filled with plenty of seating, and an empty space in the middle of the room. There's a platform where Jeremy will stand, completely stripped of anything to hide behind. No chair. No podium. Just right in the middle of the room, with all eyes on him.

Of course, this goes about as well as expected.

He realizes what's about to happen, having had the truth serum yesterday, and he thrashes violently as one of our larger guards drags him to the middle of the room. He looks pale and disheveled, and vaguely nauseous as he glances around.

Either from the hangover from the truth serum, or the secrets he's about to spill.

I sit down next to Harrison, fully rested from his nap on the drive out here, and he elbows me.

"Got a message there's a fight. You place your bet?"

"No." I smirk, and I tap out a quick reply to Rylan's message.

His update goes above and beyond. He'd sat with Everly while she worked on the files I'd left. He told me they'd had fun with the lunch menus, and for a moment, he'd been worried she'd add too many healthy options. He was in luck that she rarely ate down there and was fine with the notes I'd left her. They'd left after that, heading down to the Pit, where they discovered a fight going on.

It wasn't one of the usual fights, or anything that had been set up as entertainment. Rylan told me it was two guys, Chad and Matthew, arguing over Jeremy. Word had gotten out that Jeremy had left Dauntless today, and it had sparked an argument between these two. They were ordinary soldiers, but they'd worked with him. Eaten dinner with him. Had a few drinks. Existed beside him, unaware of what he was doing.

It would make anyone feel betrayed, especially knowing he was being put on trial today.

"Let's begin."

I look up from my phone to see Jack circling around Jeremy in a predatory manner. Unlike someone from Dauntless, he's not there to physically attack him or try to overtake him by force. He's here to listen to his words, to draw out the darkest, most unwilling ones that Jeremy will be forced to speak. Jack is intimidating; he's dressed sharply, his jacket stiff and dark, and his hair freshly cut. There's an elegance to how he moves, but a look in his eye that makes Jeremy swallow nervously when he steps closer.

"Fucker looks like he's gonna throw up." Harrison mumbles. He elbows me and shows me his phone. "Hey, what do you think about Tris' baby?"

"I haven't given it any thought." I answer immediately, and I haven't. "Besides, it won't affect me one bit."

Harrison snorts.

Every head in the room turns in our direction, and Harrison covers by waving at Jack dismissively. "Carry on, good sir."

Jack eyes him warily.

Tori throws us a confused look, right as Jack injects Jeremy again. This time, Jeremy knows what's coming. I can see he wants to flee, but he doesn't. He stands there, glancing at the door we'd walked in through, knowing it was fully guarded by our soldiers.

"That baby is gonna be at your apartment all the time." Harrison whispers, and I shove him away from me.

"No, it will not." I hiss, and I lean forward, listening to Jack ask Jeremy what his goal was in aligning himself with Evelyn. "I doubt Four will let it out of his apartment."

"Did you tell your wife?" Harrison also leans forward, and to everyone else watching, we look like we are very invested in this trial.

Oddly enough, I'm having a hard time focusing. Jack begins the interrogation quickly, but Jeremy's answers are all the same as before: he liked what Evelyn was offering, he believes the factions are keeping us separate rather than together, and he doesn't believe in divergence. He answers because he has to, his skin glistening with sweat, but he doesn't try to fight very hard.

"No, it slipped my mind." I'm honest with him, having forgotten I'd even read the file. "She'll be happy. She likes Tris and Four."

Harrison makes an odd, disinterested sound, and he elbows me again. "How about you? Is Everly pregnant yet?"

I suddenly regret having him ride with me. Maybe it would have been safer to have him stay back in Dauntless and have Rylan come with me.

"No."

My answer is sharply definite, and he nods.

"That you know of."

"I think I'd know if she were pregnant." I tilt my head when Jack's stare flicks to me, and he nods. I sit up straighter, and I realize his questioning is taking a more serious turn as he delves further into the interrogation.

"Now, can you tell us how you arranged the kidnapping of Everly Coulter?"

To his credit, Jeremy tries to fight this particular question. He rolls his head from side to side, moves his shoulders up and down, and grimaces when the answer becomes too much to hide.

Then he speaks.

"I watched her. I started with Eric." He pauses, and he looks around until he finds me in the crowd. "I found him easy to read, and even easier once he had…her. Everything revolved around Everly. His schedule, his work. His personal life. Evelyn's efforts had failed when her own son refused to help her and I saw Everly as a way to get back at all of them. Both Eric and Four."

He stops, and his eyes lock on mine.

"It was my suggestion to take Everly. I knew it would ruin Eric. Both of them, actually. Four, he'd be found guilty when it all came out. They'd try to find her, and he'd be exposed. But Everly was easy to take. There's nothing all that special about her. Just some girl from the farm who got lucky that their big bad leader found her to be…pretty enough to obsess over."

My stomach burns.

The feeling is uncomfortable enough that I shift in my seat.

Harrison does, too.

"I watched her. I worked with her. I gave Evelyn her schedule. I pointed out that we had a chance to pull something off, to show everyone in Dauntless just who we were. It was easy to come up with a plan once I knew what she did every day. After the choosing ceremony was over, Colton killed a young man and took his place. No one even gave him a second glance, no one questioned him. He trained beneath Everly, learning that while Eric watched over her when he could, he wasn't always there."

The blood pumping in my ears grows loud.

"Who knew that Eric was actually a viable member of the faction? I'd long written him off as someone with too much power, but I learned how much he actually did more than anyone. It was even better than I had thought. It meant once I took the only thing he cared about, the rest would fall apart. The faction couldn't run as smoothly if he was distracted, and oh, was he distracted."

Jeremy lets out a bark of laughter, painful and rough. He resists saying more, but the words are unstoppable.

"You should have seen him. Eric was busy the day Colton did it, so he missed it when he grabbed her. But I was hoping he'd be watching," Jeremy pauses, and his gaze is manic now. "It was spectacular. The sight of their most prestigious, wannabe leader, Eric's lovely, tiny little wife, unconscious in Colton's arms. Her blood dripping everywhere, but especially from the hair I'd watched Eric touch. On her hands. Her fingers. Across her forehead. A few wondered if she'd wake up from what he'd done, and a few hoped she wouldn't. But not me. The death of Everly Coulter would be too kind a punishment for Eric."

My hands ball into fists, and I realize Harrison is holding onto my arm. Jack looks at me, patiently and silently pleading for me not to move, but there's a sliver of horror on his face.

It would take a mere second for me to leap at Jeremy and take him by the throat.

"I knew it would kill him if she was gone, just out of his reach. Same way I knew fucking with Tris would kill Four. This was so easy, all of it. People think everyone in Dauntless is so brave. So stoic. Untouchable. Yet, both of these two men were easily swayed by girls half their size. All it took was showing Tris how crazy Four was. How much he didn't trust her. How he wanted to control her, because she wasn't worth her freedom."

Tori makes an odd noise in her throat, one close to surprised disgust.

"It didn't take much. A few dates. A few nights listening to her bitch about him. How her life here wasn't turning out how she thought it would, and it wasn't long before she blamed him. She was easily manipulated to think what I told her."

"Then why did you leave Dauntless?" Jack speaks evenly, his tone calm and unbothered. "Why not stay there and keep an eye on things from the inside if this was working out so easily for you?"

"I grew bored with it. Tris was…nothing I'd ever want to be stuck with, and Eric…he figured it out. He found Everly, and I knew it would be easy to trace this back to me if she remembered what happened. So I split. I went to Evelyn, offered my services, and chose to stay there."

"Is Evelyn planning something?" Jack presses, but my ears are ringing. There is a lingering stress of Everly being taken, and it hits me with blunt force. Jeremy was wrong in thinking I hadn't seen Colton take her.

I had.

I'd watched it, the video bleeding before me as he smashed her against the wall, until she wasn't conscious enough to fight back. I had seen that same image over and over, in my nightmares, in my waking hours, right up until I found her.

"The war will come. Evelyn will not rest until she's won."

I tense up, ready to go right after him.

"Eric," Harrison speaks slowly, "don't move. Not yet. We need to hear this."

I nod, but I'm not exactly present. I feel like I'm somewhere else. Like I'm watching this unfold from a nightmarish state. Jeremy's words float over me, drifting up a second after his mouth moves.

"Is her intent to kill Tris?"

I hear Jack talking, and the man next to me, someone I don't know, leans too close to me. I dimly realize he's there to keep me in my seat, and his hand finds my forearm. I try to swat him away, but he shakes his head and points at Jeremy.

"Yes."

Jack hesitates with his next question. It comes out low and strained.

"And Everly?"

Jeremy looks right at me, sweaty. Pale.

Unwavering.

Hopeful.

"Yes."

 

 

 

"Motherfucker." I slam my fist into the pristine marbling on the wall, and I ignore the sharp sting where my knuckles crack. "I'm going in there and rip his fucking head off."

My words echo in the large hallway, and Harrison drags me down further, away from the crowd.

After the first part of Jeremy's trial, the room was somber. Jack concluded with that final question, and the burning agony of knowing Evelyn wanted Everly dead was right in my throat. I felt like I was back at the compound, frantically searching for her, only to be tricked when she wasn't there.

The mood is appropriately bleak, and we still had more to go. I wrench myself away from Harrison, and he immediately grasps onto me. "Don't fuck this up, kid. She's gonna need you to look out for her. We can't kill our star witness." Harrison smiles brightly at a few curious gazes, menial office workers going about their day. "Not yet."

"He said Evelyn is going to come after Everly. To kill her." I explode, and I ignore him when he tells me to keep my voice down. "Harrison, did you even listen-"

"I did." He calmly slaps my arm, and gestures for Max to join us. "Of course she's coming after her. Did you think she'd forgive you for ruining her plan? She'd forget you got Everly back and she still has nothing?"

"I…" I pause, staring at him in total confusion. I hadn't, but his words strike a nerve.

Of course I hadn't forgotten, but it felt like I was doing nothing. Like I needed to storm back to Dauntless, find Everly, and lock her in my apartment until this was all over.

My stare must be miles away, because Harrison slaps the side of my face, not hard, but sort of …affectionately, all things considered. "You have to be smarter than all of them. Love makes you stupid. I know this for a fact. But don't forget who you are. Why we're here. What you would do for Everly."

I blink at him.

"Don't let him know he's getting to you. We're going to eat lunch. In this fancy, fine dining shit hole that Jack built. You'll eat. You'll drink something. We'll listen to Jack, you'll text your friends. We go back. You listen to what Jeremy says, and you'll kill him after. There's no way on Earth he's walking out of here, and he knows it. They already asked him what he wanted for his last meal. But you have to listen to what he's saying. He can't lie, but that doesn't mean there's not more to his words than he's saying."

I stare at him, unblinking and unmoving, still ready to head back in there and kill him.

But I don't.

Max joins us, and he and Tori look equally pissed. Jack walks along with them, his troubled expression matching theirs, and he gestures for us to follow him.

"Understood?" Harrison insists, and he's not at all asking me a question. "You're not murdering anyone. Not right now. Later."

I slowly nod, ignoring the very confused expressions of those watching us.

 

 

I start to respond to Rylan while I choke down one very extravagant salad.

Harrison sits across from me eating something that looks like a hamburger. Max and Tori are both eating soup, and Jack is torn between being delighted we are all here and horrified at what he's heard. Up until now, he'd only dabbled in this world of Evelyn and the factionless. Watching one of our former Leaders and soldiers talk about how he'd watched us, filed information away, and arranged all this, was something else entirely. I can see him wondering if it could happen here. If one of his precious co-workers or even close friends wasn't who he thought they were.

My salad is tasteless, and I swallow it down mostly to hurry this lunch the fuck up.

"So this is quite the uh, quite the informative interrogation." Jack thanks the waiter as he hands him a cup of coffee, and he nods at all of us. "We normally wouldn't break for lunch, but this is running longer than planned. Plus, I felt like we might need to regroup after hearing…that."

He looks at me, and I look back at him.

I'd caught sight of myself in the restroom of his dining establishment, and I wasn't surprised to see that I looked slightly unhinged. I'd run my hands through my hair since I couldn't punch Jeremy, and I was rewarded with an unkempt version of myself. My expression was grim, and Harrison's words kept running through my head.

I answer Jack, but it's dull and impatient.

"I'd like to move forward with this as soon as possible. Once convicted, we'll execute him tonight."

"Of course," Jack readily agrees. "Are there others?"

"Others?" Max looks up, and I catch his glance. I catch Harrison's, too. I notice he'd been playing a game on his phone, but now he shakes his head slightly.

"No. No one else is involved." I shut that question down completely. Jack is hinting we could bring Four in to be questioned, but I'd already told Max no. "Once we get everything out of him, we're done."

"Execution is your highest choice?" Jack asks, and he sets his cup down.

"It's the only choice." Tori clarifies. "We aren't taking the chance of releasing him back to Evelyn. She knows he would have come to us. This sends out a message."

"Indeed." Jack motions at the waiter, and he speaks quietly to him for a minute. "As soon as you're ready, the trial will commence."

There is a silence as everyone nods, and I shove my phone in my pocket.

I forget to answer Rylan completely. I think of this when I see Jeremy again, and his stare goes right to me. That it's slipped my mind to respond, just like a few other things.

Jeremy smiles slowly, and I realize he'd smiled at me like this every time I had been with Everly.

Including the times I sent her to work with him.

Alone.

 

 

The texts come rapid fire.

I read them while Jack injects Jeremy again, and I find myself mostly entertained by Rylan's messages.

He recaps his day by detailing how he and Everly have broken up a fight. He goes into further detail, referring to the members as Chad and Chad Two. One of the Chad's has a broken nose. Rylan can't tell them apart, but one skipped leg day and that's somehow relevant.

He finds Arlene annoying. He asks me how her transfer is going and if I'm still working on it.

They had soup for lunch.

Tris showed up and she looks like garbage. She still won't tell anyone what's going on. Christina is suspicious.

Everly looks depressed. It's probably the food, because everyone else also looks depressed at what they're eating.

I frown when I read that one, because I'd normally be there with her.

I put my phone away when Jeremy starts speaking, and I figure I'll finish reading the rest of his messages later.

"Where is Evelyn?"

Jack's words are spoken clearly, his interest just as vested as mine.

The last few hours had proven to be painful. I was prepared but hearing over and over that he'd been working on this for a while felt like a slap in the face.

I wondered if anyone else felt the same.

I had long found Jeremy annoying, and I'd also found him suspicious. But I never would have thought any of Evelyn's plans hinged on him. I watched him unravel details I had overlooked, and I now felt stupid I'd missed them.

Everly's messed up emails, causing her to miss a meeting, and giving her the chance to be away from me. Four's miserable months as both someone betraying his faction and his mother, combined with Tris being with someone else. I think of the days when things seemed off. A misplaced file. The man on the roof, having been able to bypass our security. A printed training schedule I'd assumed I'd printed in my own hysterical monitoring of Four. Jeremy's interest in Everly, asking her questions she couldn't answer.

But I could.

He wanted information, and he went after it.

I sat silently, listening to him confess that yes, he'd given Colton the go-ahead to take her. That yes, he'd left Evelyn when she was livid with him for failing to return Four to her. I grimaced at this, Jeremy's words making Four sound more like a possession and less like her son, and I felt an appropriate flash of rage when Jeremy dismissed Four for not wanting to help her.

He reiterated, as Jack's questioning began to repeat itself, that he had taken Four's place. That Evelyn had given him the chance to prove himself to her, until things went south.

Until she realized he wasn't working with us anymore.

She demanded blood, and when he couldn't produce it, he returned to us, ready to bargain for his own safety.

"Is this circus almost over or what? I need to get out of here." Harrison leans into me, elbowing my side.

"I think it's almost done." I answer, and I cross my arms over my chest. My phone vibrates in my pocket, and I pull it out. I skim Rylan's message, but it's a conscious stream of his thoughts. Something about the power going out, and Everly fixing it and on what day did I teach her how to become an electrician. "I just need to know where Evelyn is."

"So do I." Harrison answers thoughtfully, and he leans away from me.

We sit there, listening to Jack, until another hour has passed.

Jack finally gets around to asking the million-point question, and Jeremy laughs when he answers it.

After all this, all this time, all this questioning, he has no clue where Evelyn is.

He only answers everywhere and my stomach sinks as I realize he's not lying.

He can't lie.

She's been moving around, from faction to faction, just waiting for the right moment.

Jack and I exchange one long look and we both know this moment will be here sooner than we think.

"So you don't know where she is?" Jack asks, and when Jeremy says no, he frowns. "Where was she?"

"All over. Compounds, abandoned buildings. Friends. We stayed near Amity for a bit. Until Eric figured out what was going on there. Uh, Abnegation for a few weeks. If you just claimed to need help, they'd help you. We don't…there's no identification that you're with Evelyn. Just…factionless. I kept my uniform, and I could go anywhere."

"You weren't afraid of being caught on camera?" Jack asks.

"No. I had worked in the control room. Their security footage is shitty. The cameras don't always work and when they do, it's not the clearest picture. I'd knock down the ones I saw, but I knew the odds of them figuring out it was me were slim to none. Plus, they're understaffed. They'd skip over anyone in their own uniform."

I groan just as Harrison swears.

"Fuck, we might really be fucked. He was under our noses the whole time."

"No shit." I answer through gritted teeth, and I suddenly imagine the security overhaul we were going to have to perform. "Fuck, he needs to wrap this up so we can get back."

I yank my phone out to text Max and tell him that I was done sitting here, when I see Rylan's message. I would click out of it, but I can't.

All I can do is swear again, loudly, as he apologizes but as of an hour ago, he's reporting that my wife has gone missing.

 

 

"Eric, wait. No, don't go. Don't walk so fast."

Harrison slowly calls out after me, purposely mocking my intense desire to return back to Dauntless that second.

Upon reading Rylan's message, I had leapt up out of my seat. I'd left the room, left Jeremy standing there, looking uncomfortable and queasy, and I'd blown right past Jack. Out of the room, down slick stairs, down the large hallways.

"We rode together. Slow the fuck down." Harrison announces, and I turn on my heel to find him heading right toward me. "I thought you were going to sit there and listen?"

"Everly is missing." I yell at him, and he finally catches up with me. "Why are you walking so slowly?"

"She's not missing. I've had Four watching all exits. She was seen outside with Rylan, then the two of them went inside. She hasn't been seen since then. This isn't Evelyn. This is your wife, probably in her office."

I stop in my tracks. "You had Four watching the exits?"

"Yeah, what else would he watch? Today, would be the perfect day for Evelyn to strike. I don't think she's dumb enough to assume we'd let Jeremy back in, and she's watching. You know she is."

"And he hasn't seen her?"

"Not since this afternoon. She and Rylan went back in after they did something with the generators." Harrison answers, and he points to the truck. "You parked over there. Want me to drive?"

"No." I bark at him again, but there's a rush of relief that she had to be there. Somewhere. "Come on. I don't have all day."

"You do, but that's beside the point." Harrison counters, but he walks a little faster. "You really think I'd have Four watch anything else?"

"I didn't know you were the one who told him to watch anything." I grit out, and I fling open the driver's side door. "But thank you."

"You owe me, but you're welcome."

With that, Harrison climbs in the truck next to me, and slams the door shut. Our drive back to Dauntless is quiet. He's focused on his phone, typing up something long and detailed, and despite my unfortunate curiosity, I can't read it while I drive. I have half a mind to ask him what he's doing, then I decide not to.

I focus on finding where my wife went, and how I will kill Rylan for losing her.

 

 

 

He looks appropriately terrified.

"Did you have her kidnapped?"

I bark the words at Rylan, and he jumps a good foot away from me. He'd been awaiting our return, chewing on his cuticles as I parked the truck.

"No! You told me I couldn't." He answers immediately, shaking his head as Harrison joins us. "I swear, I didn't do anything. Plus, you wouldn't let me ask Four to be the kidnapper, and we were busy all day. Promise."

"Well then, where is she? This one made us leave the trial early." Harrison points at me, and he puts his hands on his hips. "We missed the sentencing. Though I'm sure it's death."

"I don't know where she is. That's the problem. We had the weirdest day ever. Things just kept happening. I didn't even tell you yet but Peter went into her office and tried to blackmail Everly into giving him her position."

He stops, and I'm sure my expression is one of total surprise.

Peter.

Asking my wife if he can have her job here.

I can feel the sneer starting when Rylan nods.

"Dumb fuck. He honestly thought she'd agree to it without you here. But she handled him well." Rylan speaks quickly, trying to cram everything into these few seconds. "She sent him and his squad home without pay. I was proud of her. But then…then the power went out and we went to see what happened. Someone backed a truck into one of the generators."

"Who the fuck would do that?" Harrison asks, stepping closer to us. "Tell me you know?"

"I have an idea." Rylan looks pissed off, but it's fleeting. "Everly went with me. She…she was the one who fixed the generators and then went inside. She was supposed to meet back up with me. Jason and I went and knocked on your apartment door, but there was no answer. She's not with Chris, and Tris didn't know anything."

"What a surprise." I answer flatly. "How on Earth did Everly fix a generator? What did you do to Peter? Did you handle that?"

To say I'm livid is an understatement. I quickly schedule a time to murder him later this evening, after I find my wife.

I don't think anyone will miss him.

"No clue on either of those." Rylan holds his hands up. "I didn't even know how to fix it. Maybe…Amity runs everything off generators. Maybe she knew from there. Or maybe she moonlights as an electrician."

"Maybe. Though Amity uses other sources to power their equipment." Harrison answers, shrugging when I look at him. "Did she say she was going home?"

"Yeah, for a minute. We were pretty gross and sweaty. I mean, I went home and took a shower. I'm assuming she did."

I stare at him, and before he can say anything, something dawns on me. Her tired expression this morning, her refusal to get up. Her cranky attitude at being forced out of bed. Her being able to go home after an exhausting day.

"I'll meet you in a bit. I'll take care of Peter later. Have Four pull the security tapes right before the power went out. I want them asap." I announce, and I take off, leaving him with Harrison.

"Eric, wait!" Rylan's protest is loud, even over the roar of the trucks returning from their routes, wondering where I was going.

I head upstairs, panic fully subsiding as I realize Everly isn't lost.

Evelyn hadn't come and kidnapped her.

She was sleeping.

 

 

I'm right.

I find her in bed, her hair falling out of the bun she'd twisted it up in, sound asleep. I feel a rush of satisfaction at the sight of her, bare shoulders peeking up beneath my comforter, and it's not just that I was right. I had a feeling this day was draining and I knew her well. I guessed she'd gone home to take a shower, laid down, and fell asleep.

And I had been right.

It doesn't negate the wave of fear I felt that something had happened to her.

No matter how small it might have been, there was a chance she could have been kidnapped for a second time. It wasn't me being paranoid or outrageous either. I had just been told that Evelyn was dumb enough to try something. The timing would have worked, too; I wasn't here to look out for her, and she'd been outside. In the open air, with Rylan.

Fixing mechanical equipment.

I think of this while I touch Everly' face, moving her hair out of her eyes, and trailing my fingers down the side of her temples. I recline onto my side, still in my uniform, wishing I could take it off before I woke her up. I do take my time while my fingers lazily reassure me she's real and right there. I idly wonder if she's sick, or if it was the pressure of overseeing the faction.

Or maybe something else.

Whatever the case may be, she wakes up after a minute.

When my fingers wander into her hair, she blinks her eyes a few times. She struggles to fully wake up, but I see the exact moment her eyes widen in horror at the sight of me. Her look tells me everything I need to know. That she wasn't expecting to wake up in our bed, with me staring at her.

She immediately shuts them.

I lean closer to her, amused that she'd think I'd fall for that. I shift my weight to close the distance between us, and she keeps her eyes closed.

Tightly.

"Hi, Eric," Everly finally whispers, but she doesn't move.

"Hi, Everly." I answer her right back, and she opens her eyes. "Did you have a good day?"

She pushes herself up from the pillow, resting on her elbow. Her posture mirrors mine, right down to the worry behind her stare.

"Yeah, it was interesting." Everly pauses, rubbing her eyes and trying to wake up. Her words are slow and sleepy, still not entirely awake. "Um... a lot happened."

"I know," I answer quickly, raising an eyebrow at her. "I heard quite a bit about it."

"What time is it?" Everly looks away to fix the sheets, and from the look of things, she went straight from the shower to bed. "I didn't mean to oversleep. I set an alarm."

I smile. She looks terribly lost, even more so swallowed up by my sheets. "It's only six, Everly. It's not that late. Rylan called. He and Jason couldn't find you, and you didn't answer when they knocked."

The look on her face is pure guilt.

"What do you mean you heard about it? And Rylan called you? Why?" She looks at me intently, and the defeat is quick to wash over her; her shoulders drop and her stare falls to the side. She's assuming the worst, that Rylan ratted her out for not staying awake, when really, he was frantically trying to find her.

I frown at her expression, and I reach out to touch her in silent reassurance that things were fine. No one was mad, only worried. "They called to let me know they couldn't find you. After what happened in your meeting with Peter they panicked, thinking something had happened to you. So I headed back here as soon as Rylan called."

Everly leans into me. The defeat is still there, now heavy with worry.

"Did they tell you Peter tried to blackmail me? He threatened to have his patrol squad walk out if I didn't give him my position in your program." She stops, and she's so close I could lean my head in and touch hers. "I wasn't about to just let him tell me what to do, so I called his bluff. I told him and his squad to take the rest of the day off without pay and had Karl and his squad cover for them."

I frown at her confirmation of what Rylan told me, but before I can reassure her I'll take care of Peter and his threats, my phone rings. I hate to break away from Everly, but there are so many things that need my attention, it feels impossible to pick just one. Everly comes first, but I know she's safe and alive, and that means I have to answer Four's phone call.

"I have the footage you wanted to see. Right before the power went out. Rylan was just in here and said to call you." Four speaks quickly, and I can hear Rylan behind him, prompting him with things to say. "What, no, I'm not telling him that. You can share that information on your own time. Max is on his way as well."

I hear Rylan swear at him, and I wait impatiently.

Four sighs, then continues. "I didn't have it ready because Rylan is in here. Please come get him."

I also sigh, pure exasperation at both of them.

"Alright, I'll be there soon." I throw the phone to the side, and it lands on the nightstand with a loud thud.

"Who was that?" Everly asks.

"Four. They have the security tapes up from before the cameras went out, finally. I want to review it to see if we can figure out who backed into the power transformer, but I really needed to find you first." I scowl, thinking this whole day might be the end of me. "I've been waiting for that call about the security footage for a while now."

That last part is unnecessary.

I was venting, pure raging frustration because I was worried about her. I had given Rylan a mere twenty minutes to get that footage, and I should be pissed at him that he hadn't pulled it earlier.

"Well, I'm glad you're home," Everly answers, and she smiles up at me. She looks far too tempting like this, her bare shoulders mocking me, and her hair falling down around her.

"I'd be much happier to be home if I didn't have to make you get dressed to come with me." I point out. She sits up and quickly tries to think of a way out of the rest of her day.

"Can Four just send you the footage? Then we could stay here." She looks hopeful, but I shake my head.

"As much as I'd like to avoid spending any time with Four this evening, we're meeting Max there as well."

I climb off the bed, and it takes everything in me not to lie back down with her. But I extend my hand out, and when she takes it –rising up on her knees, I pull her flush against my chest. The sheets fall away and my hands immediately find the bare skin of her back. She grins, relieved that she's not in trouble, even if she still had to head into work.

"Fine. I guess I'll get dressed."

Everly rises up to press her lips against mine. We stay like this until I smile, because despite everything that's happened, she's completely fine. I break apart to take one more look at her, and I hope I can wrap the rest of this night up quickly.

 

 

Of course, it becomes very clear that I won't.

We arrive in the control room to a swarm of people working, and Four completely unprepared for life.

"I thought you said you had the footage ready." My snarl sends a few people wincing out of my way. The staff in here is rightfully flustered. According to Rylan, they'd spent most of their time frantically trying to fix the cameras, and the rest of the time frantically trying to catch up and still make sure the faction was safe.

I didn't care.

I wanted the security footage and I wanted it now. The transformers were old and shitty, but it was awfully suspicious that it had gone out while I was gone. While Everly was in charge. While no one saw what happened or seemed to know what was going on.

"I did. Someone clicked out of it." Four's voice is tense, and next to him, Kacie presses her lips together in displeasure. She looks tired; her hair is a mess, and even now she twirls it in frustration. Her normally pristine and organized work area is trashed, and there are far too many people in here, crowding around the computers.

She watches Four with a hawk-like stare, grimacing as he clicks away. He moves fast –trying to skip ahead to when the power went out, and she grows impatient when he stops too soon.

"No, the next section," Kacie snaps, irritated as ever. He clicks again, and she looks like she wants to rip his arm off. "That blank space is where everything goes offline."

Her tone is incredibly condescending. I'd appreciate it, if I wasn't on the very last second of patience I had for today.

"I'm well aware of when the cameras went down. I was sitting right here." Four's response is testy, and for a long moment he and Kacie glare at each other. Their standoff is a loss for both of them. He resumes what he's doing, and she resumes watching.

I grow bored with their spat, and I glance over at Everly.

She's standing off to the side, talking to Rylan. He's got his arm slung around her neck, keeping her in place like he's afraid she'll wander out of here, and he's grinning. It's hard to miss the relief on his face that she isn't dead, and he winks at me when she says something back to him. He marches them forward, pushing everyone out of his way.

"Hey, don't sweat it. I don't even care. I'm just glad you're alright. And don't worry about the rest of the day. We got your back," Rylan announces to whatever she was saying. He looks up as Jason arrives, coffee in hand, and a cheerful expression.

"Oh, good! Everly, you're here!" Jason greets her in utter delight, as if he hadn't been searching for her all afternoon. He's so focused on Everly he nearly collides with Max, but he recovers and salutes him with the hand holding the coffee cup. "I can't wait to see who the moron is who needs driving lessons."

Rylan walks Everly to the other side of Four. He lets go of her, just as everyone turns back to the computer screen. We're rewarded with a view of the back of Dauntless, sharp and perfectly clear.

I stare dead ahead. The transformer and backup generators are in direct sight; for several minutes, the room is quiet while absolutely nothing happens. The screen stays the same, except for the ticking numbers in the corner that track the time. Four's shoulders rise up as the numbers increase, and Kacie looks murderous when nothing happens.

"Well… this is exciting," Jason announces, and Four throws him a nasty glare.

Then he sits up straighter.

"There." Four points to the screen, right to the truck arriving in the corner. It's one of the ones used for our patrols. Whoever is driving swings it around, lining it up with the generator, then stops. A second later, it reverses at high speed.

Right into the transformer.

"Oh, shit!" Rylan calls out, right as the truck does it again. It lurches forward, the back of it now dented, then reverses again. It hits the transformer right in the middle, and a moment later, the transformer begins to spark. We all watch the door to the truck open, and a figure hops out of it.

The soldier heads right over to the equipment, surveying the damage they've just inflicted. A few seconds pass before the video feed wavers. The screen flickers once, then goes completely black.

Everyone is silent.

"Well, I'll be damned." Max looks stunned, and he stares at the blank screen. "Was that…?"

I shove him to the side.

Motherfucker.

I'm so livid I can barely see straight. It's unfortunate this happened today, because after hearing about the plot to kidnap my wife, the continued plot to try and kill her, and the momentary panic of thinking she was gone, I am completely and utterly done for today.

It was one thing to fuck with me. To think that one could potentially screw me over and get away with it.

It was another thing to try and destroy everything Everly had worked for here.

"Someone get squad eight in my office right now."

Rylan's stare rises to meet mine, and he grins. I don't grin back, but I don't need to.

I would smile later.

Because Peter thought he was going to get away with this, but he had another thing coming.


End file.
